Thanksgiving is tomorrow.

That means I’m obligated to write something seasonal.

Now, I could get all sentimental on you—I could conjure my inner Garrison Keillor and tell a heartwarming tale about my youth…

…A soft stroll down memory lane, rife with comical anecdotes and ultimately, a lesson learned.

But this ain’t Reader’s Digest.

I could write about the same old tired cliches; your dysfunctional family, too much alcohol, obligatory naps…the Lions losing—again…

But I won’t. That’s too easy.

It’s like relying on the “Halloween Allows Women to Dress Like Whores” schtick, when blogging about All Hallow’s Eve—it’s been done, and over-done.

I couldn’t write anything that hasn’t been said a million times before, so I won’t bother.

Besides, you deserve better.

Of course, besides the family, booze, food, naps and football, what else is there?

Seriously.

Personally, I can think of one.

As I’ve said, I didn’t really have a life until the 90’s. Mine was a childhood filmed before a live studio audience…

So when I think of Thanksgiving, I really think of one thing and one thing only.

“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”

I present to you, “Turkeys Away”, quite possibly one of the funniest episodes in the history of the laugh track.

Happy Thanksgiving, folks…

Now go enjoy awkward conversations with your crazy relatives, family induced drinking and a tryptophan-induced coma on the couch whilst watching the Lions lose…again.

Grab a picture of yourself back when you were five or ten years younger and stare at it real good.

Life is full of uncertainty. We start out as children, carefree, innocent, pure, unaware of the horrors and the hardships that we will be facing once we hit ‘life’. Having no sense of malice, saying whatever comes to mind, however weird or awkward it is.

We start out, as early as three years, with dreams.

“When I grow up, I wanna be…”

I wanted to be a paleontologist.

We start off with a clear-cut goal on our lives.

“I’m going to have a big house, and a family, and lots of cars!”

Now, we don’t know where we’re going, or what we’ll become. Taking a look at oneself, we see that the path we once thought we were destined to take is so far away from us. Not completely out of reach, though trying to reach it would be too tedious and burdensome. We reminisce of the events in our lives and try to pinpoint that thing that triggered to who we are now. We try to find out the series’ of mistakes that we’ve made, the efforts that we’ve done or failed to do, the people we’ve met and ignored, just to realize more about our self.

And you still wonder who the kid in the picture is.

You ask yourself, at which point in my life did I start to become this? What do others think of me? What am I doing now? When did I change from being regular to someone who mattered? When did I become a leader? When did I learn to follow? When have I cared what other people think? When did I start becoming grade conscious? When did I start becoming selfless (perhaps even too selfless)? Why I’ve been doing things I know I’d regret? Why I’ve taken up vices which I once found disgusting? Why do I hang out with the type of people I once hated? Why I’m wasting my time on things that I know I have no real future in? Why I’ve broken promises that I’ve made to myself?

Well, I’ve yet to answer these. Though I try to back-track certain aspects of my life, I can’t really say with certainty. Perhaps it is impossible to find that significant event that triggered everything. Maybe it’s because it doesn’t exist. Or maybe it’s because life, your life now, isn’t dictated by a single event, but by a succession of events, both successes and failures, by a succession of choices, both right ones and wrong ones.

If shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine
If it had a home, would it be my eyes?
Would you believe me if I said I’m tired of this?
So here we go now, one more time

When will this end? It goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keep spinning around, I know that it won’t stop
‘Til I step down from this for good
  -Sick Cycle Carousel, Lifehouse

Ed treated us to some great obscure songs; jangly guitars, some Siouxsie-like vocals, topped off with a dollop of butt-kicking Can Con. If you think you’ve got your head wrapped around some obscure 80’s tuneage, well think again. Join us on Tuesday evenings and get your fill of 80’s you haven’t heard in years – or maybe not at all. You owe it to your ears.

Be sure to tune in to Ed and his “song stuck in your head” 80’s Retrospect show on CFRC-FM from 8 pm until 10 pm on Tuesday nights. Ed takes requests by phone: (613) 533-CFRC (2372) or email: retrospectcfrc at yahoo dot ca. Indulge yourself in some “80’s Music that doesn’t suck.” I guarantee die-hard 80’s New Wave/post-punk fans will not be disappointed.

CFRC-FM Playlist November 17, 2009

Basement of Carruthers Hall in Queens University, Kingston, Ontario
ED-FM ~ Retrospect
80’s Music That Doesn’t Suck
If the “Listen Live” link on the CFRC Website doesn’t work, copy and paste this URL into your Windows Media Player: http://sunsite.queensu.ca:8000/
Join us in the Chat Room during the show – either click the link on the right menu under the Rave and Roll graphic, or here.
To listen to any shows that you may have missed, go to the CFRC website and look up the archives under the “Programming” drop-down menu. You can enjoy Ed’s previous shows in one-hour increments.

1.      Diodes – Catwalker
2.      Rough Trade – Deca-Dance
3.      Moev – Wanting
4.      Landscape – European Girls
5.      Parade Ground – Strange World
6.      Fad Gadget – Saturday Night Special
7.      Sex Pistols – Friggin’ In The Riggin’
8.      Nina Hagen – Wir Liben Immer Noch
9.      Captain Sensible – The Russians Are Coming
10. Dessau – Skeletons By Nature
11. Big In Japan – Suicide A Go Go
12. M + M – Song In My Head (dance mix)
13. Torch Song – Ode To Billy Joe
14. Stan Ridgway – The Big Heat
15. Men Without Hats – Messiahs Die Young
16. Creatures – Mad Eyed Screamer
17. Abecedarians – Soil
18. Rational Youth – Latin Lover
19. Durutti Column – The Missing Boy
20. Chalk Circle – This Mourning (extended)
21. Art of Noise – Legs (inside legs mix)

I’m a part of Generation X.

I’m part of the last generation to live through the cold war, and the first generation to do worse than their parents.

I lived through the 80’s before they became retro.

I watched TV in black and white, and my phone actually had a dial—not buttons. I remember a life before call-waiting.

I witnessed first hand the death of disco and the birth of punk rock.

I’m old enough to be pissed off by remakes of the movies from my youth.

I owned an IntelleVision, a step above Atari, below ColecoVision—and ran the Pit Fall course backwards.

I died of dysentary on the Oregon Trail.

I not only remember the Challenger explosion, but the Very Special episode of Punky Brewster about the Challenger explosion.

The themes from M*A*S*H and Hill Street Blues were my lullabies.

I’m old enough to know that the now-retro fashion choices coming back into popularity were a bad idea the first time around.

My cartoons were hand drawn, and when I read, I chose my own adventure.

Old.

I’m old enough to be annoyed by teenagers and never get carded for beer anymore.

I’m old enough to remember when MTV played music.

Most importantly, I’m old enough to be nostalgic for my youth.

That’s why I find myself trolling the web for bits and pieces of it every now and then…

Now, I’ll admit…

I didn’t really develop much of a life until the 90’s. I spent far more time with the Ricker and Arnold Jackson than I did real people.

That’s probably why most of the memories from my youth are centered around the television.

So look forward to more trips, or perhaps more to wit, staggers down memory lane from time to time…

I leave you with this little gem from the 80’s. I (sadly) spent a lot of beautiful Saturday afternoons locked indoors watching this…

It has been a long time since we met to celebrate top-notch obscure 80’s music with Ed-FM. Ed has been on a well-deserved break these past three weeks, and did we ever miss him! He definitely made it up to us with such rare and fabulous tunes as David Bowie’s “Heroes/Helden,” The Chameleons’ “Mad Jack,” and Maurice And The Cliches’ “Soft Core.” Truly an obscure 80’s fan’s delight of a night.

Be sure to tune in to Ed and his “obscure is just the tip of the iceberg” 80’s Retrospect show on CFRC-FM from 8 pm until 10 pm on Tuesday nights. Ed takes requests by phone: (613) 533-CFRC (2372) or email: retrospectcfrc at yahoo dot ca. Indulge yourself in some “80’s Music that doesn’t suck.” I guarantee die-hard 80’s New Wave/post-punk fans will not be disappointed.

CFRC-FM Playlist November 10, 2009

Basement of Carruthers Hall in Queens University, Kingston, Ontario
ED-FM ~ Retrospect
80’s Music That Doesn’t Suck
If the “Listen Live” link on the CFRC Website doesn’t work, copy and paste this URL into your Windows Media Player: http://sunsite.queensu.ca:8000/
Join us in the Chat Room during the show – either click the link on the right menu under the Rave and Roll graphic, or here.
To listen to any shows that you may have missed, go to the CFRC website and look up the archives under the “Programming” drop-down menu. You can enjoy Ed’s previous shows in one-hour increments.

1.     New Musik – They All Run After The Carving Knife
2.     Chameleons – Mad Jack
3.     Martha & The Muffins – Several Styles Of Blonde Girls Dancing
4.     Screaming Bamboo – World Of Tomorrow
5.     David Bowie – Heroes/Helden
6.     XMal Deutschland – Incubus Succubus
7.     The Box – My Dreams Of You (extended)
8.     Yello – Metropolitan Mix Down Part 1
9.     Shriekback – Accretions (monstrous dance mix)
10. Xymox – Blind Heart
11. Flash And The Pan – Midnight Man (extended)
12. Chris and Cosey – Hazey Daze
13. Vis-à-Vis – Dance With Me
14.  Johnny Analog – Rhythm Ruled
15. Cowboys International – Thrash
16. Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark – Messages (10 inch single)
17. Flying Lizards – TV
18. Maurice And The Cliches – Soft Core
19. Altered Images – If I Could Be Happy
20. Robert Fripp – Under Heavy Manners
21. Images In Vogue – Lust For Love

There’s a saying something along the lines of, “The first key to being a good writer is having an unhappy childhood.”

Just as many insist you can’t be a phenomenal writer until you’re older, wiser, and have had more experiences, many believe that an unhappy childhood is the key to successful reflecting and therefore narrative. 

I’m here to refute that fact.

In her most recent memoir, Unlearning to Fly, Jennifer Brice–a wonderful non-fiction creative writing Professor at Colgate University–writes:

I had a happy childhood. My parents loved me, and they loved each other. My two brothers and two sisters and I wore hand-me-downs or clothes manufactured on my mother’s treadle Singer, but there were graham crackers in the cupboard at snack time and goulash on the stove for dinner; there was oil in the tank; and, occasionally, when my mother’s godfather, John Zantginger, sent a check from New York City, enough money for us to spend a week in the tropics or on the ski slopes.

Brice seems to be commenting that her childhood, whether or not average, was motivated and moved by the small stuff: fulfilling moments and food on the table. A few paragraphs later, she explains:

Now that I think about it, my childhood was better than happy. It was close to idyllic.

Which is why, when I was eight or nine, I lay on my belly and slithered over the edge of a cliff that dropped 200 feet to a slavering creek that ended in Liberty Falls near Chitina, Alaska–the place for which the dog was named.

Brice blames her consistent desire to put herself in fearful or challenging situations on the same happy childhood that apparently makes it impossible to write well–hence proving this claim’s falseness.

Writing well about your youth is based around perceptiveness: drawing connections between your past and future self; finding depth and character building in the little moments that shaped those years; and recreating them with words in a both vivid and prophetic sense. You don’t have to have been unhappy, you just have to have been something interesting–obsessive, oblivious, passive, even human.

The saying about unhappy children growing into writers may be in a sense true. Many writers are loners, or have suffered through tragedy. But that doesn’t mean they didn’t have a perfectly happy life. I think what unites us as writers is more a drivenness towards perfection–and don’t perfectionists typically knit-pick the small?

In my first post, I quoted my 17-year-old self (…how vain am I?) saying that for me, writing is a coping mechanism, a way of writing all the shit in your life into goodness–elegant strings of words. To a writer, nothing is better than those sentences. And to a writer, childhood only must be interesting not unhappy, in order to poke and prod it into a provocative memoir.

I’ve just finished watching the latest part of a superb Pikmin Let’s Play by the ever-underrated KManrules1331. You would do well to watch his videos. It reminded me of an article I wrote a little over a year ago, and so now I present it to you. Do enjoy.

Retrospect: Pikmin

No one can attest to liking all videogames; the range of genres, themes, stories, art directions and characters are far too diverse, just as with books and film. I, for example, don’t enjoy real-time strategy games. To me, they seem specifically designed for those who are confident and perhaps intelligent enough to come up with very specific strategies. Such overt ‘thinking’ in games puts me off – perhaps it’s because I don’t think too highly of my cognitive abilities, but more that I prefer to be guided on a journey where pleasures are far more clear-cut.

And yet, one of my favourite games of the Gamecube generation is, at its core, an RTS. You command an army (albeit, a flower one), make orders, and micromanage. But, most importantly, Pikmin takes the essentials of the genres and presents them in such a way as to nullify all feelings of panic one might traditionally get when tasked to say, wage a full-scale war against Napoleon during the French Revolution.

Instead, all you are asked to do is rebuild a spaceship. Captain Olimar has crash-landed on a strange planet, and in the process his beloved ship the Dolphin has disintegrated, ship parts flying off to various locations on the planet. All seems hopeless, until Olimar discovers the eponymous pikmin, a bunch of tiny flower men that follow Olimar as if he’s some deity. Utilizing each of the three different coloured pikmin to break down walls, take care of gigantic beasts and carry the scattered ship parts back to base, Olimar is able to escape from the alien world and its poisonous oxygen atmosphere.

Much of Pikmin’s success lays in the way it introduces RTS elements to the player. Whereas most RTS deal in destruction, Pikmin deals in the problem of creation and rebuilding. Even when engaged in combat, there are no feelings of real aggression toward the enemy being attacked. ‘Killed’ isn’t a term thought of so much as ‘harvested’ – it’s simply a representation of survival, of the natural order of things: the corpses left are food used to boost pikmin numbers. Before you even realise it, you’re micro-managing the number of pikmin out on the field, thinking about how best to utilize the day ahead, perhaps assigning a small group to take out some enemies to clear a path to another ship part, whilst some blue (water resistant) pikmin take care of a submerged wall, whilst some others harvest some nectar (which increases pikmin strength and turns their leaves into flowers)… all essentially elements of an RTS game, but yet feeling so far removed as to be almost alien.

Of similar importance is the subject matter. The problem to be solved is a highly personal one, and one a player can most often deeply empathise with: homesickness. Olimar’s diary entries emphasize his feelings of hope at the thought of being able to return home to his wife and children, and his thoughts at the acquisition of certain ship parts are charming home truths (such as the joy of a comfy chair) that further add layers of humanity that the Civilization games could never boast.

The game’s one flaw is also its secret strength. Captain Olimar must recover a certain percentage of his ship’s 30 missing parts before 30 days have ended, else his life support systems will run out. Whilst in technical terms placing a time limit on how long one can play, it also lends the game a sense of focus and urgency that fit naturally with the need to escape and return home. Pikmin is a bittersweet experience, a heartwarming tale of struggle, perseverance, exploration and hope, it is without doubt underrated in terms of its ability to engage not just with the mind, but with the heart.

I’ve been meaning to write something serious on this for the last two weeks, but I struggle each time I try…. Truthfully I don’t really know why, it’s not like I don’t know what I want to say, its more like where do I begin? Last night, I decided to pay a visit to my previous blog… One that I haven’t touched in almost two years. For those of you who are curious, I’m talking about goooood ol’ livejournal, the source of every high school teenagers news feed. I must admit, It was a very odd feeling to retrace the steps of my younger years and to read back about someone who I used to be. The feeling is really unexplainable, it’s almost like I was reading about a totally different person. I started from the very first post, which was written by an old friend, Kadie Corr on May 27, 2004, which read,

“here you go jack.
your new livejournal thing.”

I must thank her for signing me up for the account, because it gave me a place where I could develop and express my thoughts, feelings, ideas, creativity, etc. I realized at a young age that writing is probably one of the best medicines out there. I thought to myself, if I were going through a rough time, the best thing I could do – is to write it out. It would allow me to really map out the entire situation and look at things from a different perspective. You see, if you put something down on paper, you could go over it and thoroughly analyze what you have written until you stop to only question if you REALLY think that way. Writing has helped me develop a way of thinking where I have the ability to hold two opposing ideas in my mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

I haven’t written anything as serious on this blog that is even close to the livejournal days, but let this be the first. I mainly blame the lack of time that I have to sit in front of my computer and type something out… Time is simply the unbeatable factor in our lives, which is exactly what I want to talk about. As I looked back at a younger version of me, I was shocked at the amount of time I wasted where I could have been doing something much more useful and productive. What I’m saying is that, I could have made wiser decisions at one point or another. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that every single second of my past has shaped who and what I am today, which I am totally grateful for. I am confident enough to say that I am an open minded, free-spirited individual with no regrets who has a strong sense of direction for where I am going tomorrow.

“Sometimes you’re flush and sometimes you’re bust, and when you’re up, it’s never as good as it seems, and when you’re down, you never think you’ll be up again, but life goes on.” – Blow

At this day and age, time is something that I highly value. But, what kills me is seeing individuals who are mature, in fact, even older than I am who are casually wasting their time with things that have no purpose or meaning to it. I really am thankful that at 21 I have come to an understanding of this, because I wouldn’t want to be like some of the people who come to mind…  This is the way I see it. We simply have 24 hours in a day, which we can break down into 3 equal 8 hour parts:

1) 8 hours of sleep
2) 8 hours of work
3) 8 hours of free time

*Depending on your day job, you either lose or gain an 8 hour period for productivity.

Unfortunately, I have a job which requires me to be doing something other than what I ultimately want to do in life, which leaves me losing that 8, whereas in a years time, I aim to gain that. On average, out of the 8 hours left, I take 15 min going to and from work and 30 min for dinner, leaving me with 7 hours. These 7 hours are very crucial and usually reflect the time in my day where I can either be extremely productive or extremely useless. I usually fill that time up with meeting people to plan for projects, designing, creating music, and so on. I realize when I dedicate myself to being organized, then I am effectively productive as opposed to when I’m not, I can go on for days doing nothing.

As much as I have changed, qualities that are still the same about me six years later, which I admired seeing in my writing, is the fact that I am ambitious and highly determined. You see the entire point of this began with nothing not knowing where to start, now I don’t know where to end. I really just want to encourage you by saying, if you have taken this time to read this entire post, then do something different. Seriously, consume your free time by  using your gifts and talents to learn, grow and build a life around you which you are content with. Don’t be stagnant, define who and what you are.

“Time is definitely of the essence.”

‘Babe.. are you drunk?’

‘Dude, drunk is like my SIDEKICK!’

‘Ah [chuckles]You seem to have lost him, though.’

‘NAH. Between you and me, TOTALLY off the record btw, I DITCHED his chubby midget ass riiiight there.. on the corner of hammered and hungover. He was slowing me down, couldn’t keep up the pace. Too aware of what he was doing.’

‘Prude?’

‘Yooou get me. An afterparty is no place for morals unless they’re loose.’

Clearly alcohol would only ENHANCE in this case, would it not?

I am The Incredible Intoxicator. Alliterations are the lace stay-ups of written language.

Mood: not intoxicated

♥ lace, pearls, feathers, jägerbombs, ghost busters, burning ferraris, thriller, villains, freddy kreuger, jason being mistaken for being freddy kreuger after putting all that effort into his costume, buzz lightyear, alex delarge(s), r2d2, saw, gene simmons, V for vendetta, holding my nose in order to down drinks, spiderman, russel brand, sauron, smurfs, trannies, lego-man, count dracula, frankenstein, the incredibles, shrek, “it”, chucky, the grudge, the ring, dr. rorshach, optimus prime, jack skellington. ♥

And not a single ninja turtle. Not even your’s truly, as the shops only had blue and red masks available and I refuse to go as Leonardo or Raphael! So had to improvise; Audrey Hepburn does Charleston. Days of being classy sexy this year have narrowed down to 363. Bad times.

Mood: apathetic. can hardly lift my fork.

June sang strings
melted against churning
guitars woodenly:
bare flesh against trees

graduating to July—
being born barer
suckling nothing a moment then
leaving to beach until

vacation vanished:
August was the fattest
most fermented
stinking peach on a kitchen counter

I sucked all the juice
clean only to curl
inside myself
for an oversoon winter

Among the books I mentioned this one by Peter Scazzero had clubbed together with other books and experiences in my sabbatical with a determination to cause me to think deeply.

Judith and I read it chapter by chapter alternately – as we often do with books like this – and then talked about how it had spoken to us after we’d both read a section. I recommend this type of reading technique especially for husbands and wives in leadership; it enables regular reflection, the pausing before rushing into the next chapter helps you listen to one another. [This might not work with a novel!]

So I want to just take a moment to commend this little tome to you. Much of it was very familiar to us after 20 odd years in ministry. (‘Odd’ being the operative word!) But I think for newcomers to pastoral leadership it was essential to include this, and it gave Judith and I an opportunity to assess and agree what we have learned about shepherding the flock of God and where we would do things differently now in retrospect.

“Righteousness is easy in retrospect” so said White House chronicler Arthur Schlesinger Jr., and I guess inevitably everything is easy in retrospect. It doesn’t hurt however to learn from the past in a positive way because we are responsible for handing on the baton to the next generation, and even if our past mistakes cause consequences or are unlikely to reoccur, it is a healthy exercise to quietly and graciously review the way we have undertaken decisions and actions. It is emotionally healthy to do so.

When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray as he did, he taught them to ask our Father to “…forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us”. Now unless you’re a weird dispensationalist who believes that this prayer should not be used until the millennium or after the pre-wrath mid-tribulational rapture then this principle in the Lord’s prayer applies today, to you and me. And it involves retrospection to do this: In order for us to fully and properly forgive others who have sinned against us we must acknowledge this sin and who they are, and in so doing we release them from our judgment and we receive grace from the Lord to know and realise our own forgiveness for having sinned against him.

Living in the past of course is not good or godly. Many Christians sadly still do this, labouring under a burden of imaginary sin that was cancelled at the cross. As a result they are demotivated, joyless and a poor witness to the abundant life in Christ.

In Jesus God crossed out our sins on the cross! Past, present and future!

But that also does mean we should be consciously grateful for this and live a different life in this world as a result. This involves forgiving others the way we have been forgiven too. Full of mercy, full of grace. Not looking for it to be earned. Taking the initiative like Jesus did – not waiting to be asked – for it was “while we were still sinners that Christ died for us” [Rom 5:8]

In the early chapters the author describes from painful personal experience how, although superficially his life and marriage looked great and he was involved in leading a highly healthy and successful church by anyone’s standards, internally both individually as especially within their marriage relationship things had been deteriorating for some time. He points out that the reason that he did not initially acknowledge the extent of this impoverishment was because this was an emotional deterioration. It suddenly came to a head when his wife exclaimed that she loved him, but she was going to leave him.

He paints the picture more gloomily as he begins to realise that they are not the only ones in this dire situation, in fact because of the way he has led and undertaken his ministry and where others have sought to copy him, there are fractures within many lives. To begin with he tries the “I can fix this” mentality which is common to most leaders… well, men… well, common to me certainly. The idea is you add some ‘healing’ structure to the problem (e.g. seeing a counsellor) and carry on as before. He soon realises this will not do. The only solution is to stop what he’s doing and together with his wife and then his leadership, review what has happened and turn around (i.e. repent)  from the direction they were heading in.

One of the best chapters of the book is entitled Leaders need to lead out of Brokenness and Vulnerability. In this section he presents some solid biblical principles, touching especially on the misnomered story of the Prodigal Son which alludes to the brilliant handling of this by Tim Keller in The Prodigal God. Scazzero also refers in some detail to the Rembrandt painting Return of the Prodigal Son. I was deeply moved by this chapter personally sensing that God the Holy Spirit was doing something profound in my soul. I am learning to let God teach me what this means for my life and leadership because this is not the way I have led in the past. So together Judith and I thanked God for having arrested us at such a time as this and we began to feel more than ever that this sabbatical was heaven-planned, not so much for me to learn from great and growing churches, but for a great and gracious God to grow my heart in a new direction.

Not all of Scazzero’s book is as profound or secure as this however – some parts I found woolly on the nature of personal sin and being sinned against. Similarly I would have valued more reference to the redemptive power of the cross in dealing with our sin. Nevertheless it is a book that did me good. At the right time in the right place.

It made me “want to be a better man” [Jack Nicholson's awkward OCD character Melvin, to Carol, played by Helen Hunt in As Good As It Gets] Remember that line men!

.

First of all, I have to say – this is my 100^th post since relocating to WordPress. It has been a great trip and I want to thank everyone who has visited. Last night’s show put my tune ID’ing skills to complete shame. Ed reminded us why he is the absolute master of obscure – the rare tunes just kept spinning, one after another. That’s the way we like ‘em. Thank you, Ed.

Be sure to tune in to Ed and his “just try and guess *this* one” 80’s Retrospect show on CFRC-FM from 8 pm until 10 pm on Tuesday nights. Ed takes requests by phone: (613) 533-CFRC (2372) or email: retrospectcfrc at yahoo dot ca. Indulge yourself in some “80’s Music that doesn’t suck.” I guarantee die-hard 80’s New Wave/post-punk fans will not be disappointed.

CFRC-FM Playlist November 24, 2009

Basement of Carruthers Hall in Queens University, Kingston, Ontario
ED-FM ~ Retrospect
80’s Music That Doesn’t Suck
If the “Listen Live” link on the CFRC Website doesn’t work, copy and paste this URL into your Windows Media Player: http://sunsite.queensu.ca:8000/
Join us in the Chat Room during the show – either click the link on the right menu under the Rave and Roll graphic, or here.
To listen to any shows that you may have missed, go to the CFRC website and look up the archives under the “Programming” drop-down menu. You can enjoy Ed’s previous shows in one-hour increments.

1.      Jane Siberry – Mimi On The Beach
2.      Rational Youth – Hot Streets
3.      Shyboy – Children’s Eyes
4.      Data Bank A – Etiquette Of Travel
5.      The Tourist – It Doesn’t Have To Be This Way
6.      The The – December Sunlight (Cried Out)
7.      Abecedarians – Smiling Monarchs
8.      Shock – Angel Face
9.      Shriekback – Over The Wire
10. Spoons – No Electrons
11. Neon Judgment – Chinese Black
12. Monsoon – Ever So Lonely
13. Payola$ – Romance
14. Cassandra Complex – One Millionth Happy Customer
15. It’s Immaterial – Rope (extended mix)
16. The Box – All This Cash
17. Steve Hackett – A Doll That’s Made In Japan
18. Mark Shreeve – Legion
19. Spandau Ballet – To Cut A Long Story Short (extended mix)
20. Jackie Leven – Love Is Shining Down On Me
21. Echo & The Bunnymen – Never Stop

This suppression of laughter, that my partner in crime and I must endure during lectures, is amazing practice for our upcoming Desperate Housewives-days. We have perfected our botox-faces to an extent where we can hardly feel our inaudible giggles.

If there is one thing that SATC* has taught me it is that any attempt to express emotion post-botox injections.. Will amount to severe pain.

*Sex and the City, sounds like a degree when you don’t type it out. Sue me. (Well no, wait 4 yrs pls)

Mood: epiphany-bitching.. during Tort Lecture (don’t ask why, it is actually an extremely interesting lecture..)

well his exhibition atleast go check it… We ARE!!!!

tim burton at Moma that link is awesome

this is all im posting…. i want you to research n enjoy!

‘I can’t do this all on my own. I’m no superman’

My phone cannot receive calls or texts. I can call and text. No problem. But when God/spiderman/megan fox created me their intention was not that I should chase people. However, my BBM works. As do all my applications.

It is ironic that the crackberry smartphone has, in the overdose of addictive meaningless technologies it’s managed to supply, deprived me of the basic functions that a mobilephone ought to have.

Don’t chase, replace. On to the next one. With back-up files and media cards this independent bitch can just get a new one tomorrow and the one of today will merely be a shell.

Mood: dying of abstinence. really.

russian roulette... so just pull the trigger.

Say a prayer, to yourself..

He says close your eyes
Sometimes it helps…
And then I get… A scary thought;
That he’s here, means he’s never lost

As the train pushed south, I began to wonder if this would be one of those decisions.

Why was I leaving? I loved London; I loved the pubs and markets, the movement and action.

I was surrounded by people stuck in the same frame of mind as me; travelers from every corner of the world, together, living above a bar, in search of something greater.

It was like living on a reality TV show without the cameras. Before there even was such a thing.

Every waking moment was a party—a desperate attempt to live each day as if it were our last. A life driven by visceral excess.

But that’s not why I was there.

Not anymore, at least.

I wasn’t doing anything I couldn’t be doing anywhere else.

I could party at home, but I could never be a stranger—I could never escape myself in a place so familiar.

Back home I had a past, in London we lived only for the present…

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

There were a lot of things wrong with the world back in the 70’s and 80’s…

Leisure wear

Spandex

Hair Metal

Disco

Polyester

Tight-rolled jeans

Z-Cavaricci

Mall Hair

Side Spikes

Mullets

Wine Coolers

Topsiders with no socks

Joanie Loves Chachi…

…I could go on for days…

But there was one offense greater than most.

They posed a question to us:

Why sizzle fat when you can Sizzlean?

I’ll tell you why. Because bacon is quite frankly, the best food ever.

Eating Sizzlean (or Facon, as I like to call it) is like eating a tofu burger and hoping it tastes like the real thing—just eat the damned burger, folks.

It’s like Beggin Strips for people.

And trust me…you should NEVER eat Beggin Strips…They (like Sizzlean) do not, I repeat, DO NOT taste like bacon.

Pretty much everything before 1979 is a blur. Bits and pieces flash before my eyes, but they’re fleeting.

1973-1978 are little more than flickering visions of polyester and plaid.

But for the longest time I could swear I was a child obsessed—with a cartoon.

I have visions of jumping around the backyard in a homemade costume, a paper “G” safety-pinned to my chest.

But it’s all so…fuzzy.

Maybe I was just thinking about Voltron.

But I could have sworn there was something before that—better than that.

It drove me nuts trying to grasp at the details of something that may or may not have existed.

20 years later, I was flipping through the channels when I landed on Cartoon Network.

There it was. Or was it?

I could have sworn it was called something else, but there it was.

G-Force: Guardians of the Universe.

I sat for a moment and watched.

Suddenly a flood of memories came rushing back, but…the memories weren’t matching up. Wasn’t this called Battle of the Planets?

And who the fuck are Ace Goodheart and Dirk Daring? Weren’t they named Mark and Jason?

It looked right, but the voices seemed off, the names were wrong…and wasn’t there originally a talking robot involved?

Was my memory that bad? I know I had my fun in college, but I had to have a few functioning brain cells left.

I turned the TV off and went to bed, confused and mildly angry that my childhood memories were so wrong.

But this was in a time before Wikipedia.

It turns out my childhood memories hadn’t failed me. I was right.

Sort of.

in 1972 Kagaku Ninja Tai Gathchaman was created in Japan. A few years later Sandy Frank, a producer most famous for the game show Name that Tune introduced an American dubbed version called Battle of the Planets.

But there were some changes. To hit the American juvenile television market of the late 1970s, Frank removed most of the elements of graphic violence, profanity and transgenderism—and added a talking robot, most likely to cash in on the popularity of a little movie called Star Wars.

So what the hell was on Cartoon Network?

In 1986 the cartoon was retooled as G-Force: Defenders of the Universe by Turner Entertainment. They added back in all the violence, removed the cute little robot and changed the names and voices.

And this is what aired on Cartoon Network.

Now, I like me some violent television, but…

I don’t like watching classic moments from my youth vandalized—even if it was restored it to its original glory.

Even if, in reality, that which I held so dearly was the actual vandalism.

As I read about my beloved childhood cartoon, I began noticing a strange similarity— another dubbed Japanese classic from the “good old days” bared some striking resemblances.

It got me wondering.

Did Voltron coldplay Battle of the Planets?

Now, before I continue, let me stress that as a child, I loved Voltron. Just about every boy my age did.

This isn’t about whether or not Voltron was bad ass. We all know Voltron was bad ass.

But.

Let’s just look at some of the evidence, shall we?

Battle of the Planets was a team of five. Each had a vehicle that fit into their main ship, the Phoenix.

Voltron was a team of five. Each had a vehicle that fit together to form the super robot, Voltron.

Coincidence?

Perhaps, but, let’s look at the teams, shall we?

Each color-coordinated team is lead by a stoic leader, level headed and heroic.

Both teams have an impetuous, hot-headed second in command, always ready to contest the decisions of the leader.

Chunky lummox with a heart of gold? Check.

Quirky, little guy with a speech impediment? Check.

Pink-clad female team member named Princess? Check and check. (Why do they always name the female team member Princess?)

Like I said before, I loved me some Voltron as a kid. They formed a blazing sword, for god’s sake.

But this isn’t about which show was better.

Truth be told, this isn’t even about which came first.

It’s really about proving my childhood was real. Those faded memories wrapped up in polyester and plaid—they were real…

As real as skinned knees and birthday cakes, an inevitable part of my childhood that was almost lost to the annals of time.

Almost.