stories about growing up Italian in Rhode Island

December 4, 2009

For this we missed Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of Orange County” Thursday night?

Yes, we could not resist watching the premiere of MTV’s “Jersey Shore.” We’ve seen just five minutes, and we don’t know whether to laugh, cry or get a weapon and find the MTV executive who greenlit this ridiculous piece of crap.

“Jersey Shore” has caused a flap in the Garden State already with UNICO, an Italian American group, charging that the show stereotypes their ethic group. The show’s “cast” of three guys and three girls are self-proclaimed “guidos” and “guidettes” who flocked to Seaside Heights, N.J., this summer.

UNICO is wrong. “Jersey Shore” doesn’t defame Italian Americans or the Garden State. It defames humanity.

MTV's "Jersey Shore" Morons

For those in the Cornhusker states, “guido” is a derogatory term for Italian guys with jelled-hair, ripped muscles, tight T-shirts and no brains. But Midwesterners, please don’t believe everyone in Jersey is like the “govones” on this reality show.

Here are a few of the insightful quotes from the “Jersey Shore” cast, before we see their stomach-turning sexual exploits, hot-tub stripteases, excessive drinking, macho bragging and loud vomiting.

Pauly D — “I was born and raised a guido. It’s being an Italian.”

Sammi — “The shorter the shorts, the better…If you’re not a guido, you can get out of my f—king face.”

Jenni — “I’m like a praying mantis. After I have sex I’ll rip their heads off.”

Ronnie — “The whole thing is about getting laid…I can’t be with a girl if she isn’t prettier than me.”

First of all, in defense of New Jersey, only one of the upstanding youths in “Jersey Shore” is actually from New Jersey, Sammi. Hazlet, N.J., should be very proud of her. The rest of the crew is from Rhode Island, Staten Island, the Bronx, Long Island and upstate New York.

In our youth, we spent many a weekend at the “Shore,” as we natives call it. We stayed in the Irish area, Sea Girt, and a lot of Italian Americans roosted in Belmar. We hung in places like Bar “A” and the Parker House.

Along the way those summers. we may have seen a few characters who might have fit the description of a “guido.” And we saw drunk guys — of all ethnic backgrounds — say and do some pretty stupid things. In fact, we said and did some pretty stupid things after a few shots of tequila. (We’re not like that anymore. We drink martinis.)

But down at the Shore we never came across anything like the collection of “stunads” that are on this show.

The New York Post did a story on the show last Sunday, headlined, “‘Shore Thing: New Jersey Gets Its Day In The Sun, Thanks To A Guido Invasion,’ and profiled the cast.

We enjoyed reading some of the comments on the story.

Here is one from vtx13cnj: “So if this show is OK, then when do the Amos n Andy reruns start? How about a reality show starring drunken Irishmen beating up their wives? We can follow it up with a reality show based in a Chinese laundry. What, we can’t do that? But its OK to stereotype Italian Americans. Great country we live in.”

Manhead wrote this, verbatim: “I grew up on the Jersey shore and this is exactly what all italians are like. Thats why they call the show True Life. They’re not exagerating.”

The Star-Ledger has done several stories about “Jersey Shore” and the controversy around the show, with the latest headlined “‘Jersey Shore’ Celebrates ‘Guidos.’”

Jersey has become a popular setting for reality shows, such as Bravo’s hit “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” and Style Network’s “Jerseylicious,” which is shooting now in Green Brook, N.J.

As you may have noticed, we are not writing about home shopping in this blog.

But as we told you from the start, our passions include TV programming and New Jersey. So we can’t not talk about “Jersey Shore.” But we will not watch it again. We hope other viewers do the same.

Oh no, we just learned that MTV is running another new episode of “Jersey Shore” at 11. We are going to get a weapon, any weapon.

Located  50 miles north of New York City on the banks of the Hudson River  is the United States Military Academy. Founded in 1802, the Academy has graduated over 50,000 cadets into the service of our country. We know many of the names. Grant, Lee, Eisenhower, Pershing, and McArthur are just a few of the honored alumni. Six members of Congress have direct connections to the Academy. Four were faculty members and three Republican congressmen; Geoff Davis  and  Brett Guthrie of Kentucky, and John Shimkus of Illinois are graduates, as is Sen Jack Reed, D, R I.

I wonder if any of these congressmen or senators will any comments about Chris Matthews referring to Obama’s trip to West Point as maybe going to the enemy camp. Matthews has sais much with which I disagree and I will long remember the”tingles” comment. But to make even a passing reference             (which he sort of backs away from) to West Point as the enemy camp for the country’s commander-in-chief, just totally baffles me. The  more i think of it, the more irritating it becomes. I have to wonder, does Matthews really believe that statement? I have no doubt that there are a number of left leaning journalists who probably do. We support the troops, just not their mission. Yeah, right.

He has since apologized  and  for that I applaud him. Let us hope that it can become a bit of a learning experience. Say, engage brain before operating mouth, maybe. Do you think a little road trip to see the place for himself would be  agood thing? Nah, probably not.

We do commercial collections because at heart, we are trench fighters and we are your legal recovery mercenaries! Sorry, but it is time to SLAP you in the face with a reality check. Please stop teaching debtors not pay you! We need to differentiate between CUSTOMERS who may be running a bit late but honoring their payment agreement or maybe even continuing to buy from you on a COD basis. With a little bit of luck they can pay a percentage over the invoice to reduce the old debt.

We are looking at the TWITS that will promise to do anything…check’s in the mail…not accepting your calls…ticking you off…all in all they are downright bad boys! You need to come to grips with the fact that every time you give them the proverbial “one last chance”, you are training them not to pay! Stop it!!! If you give them too much rope they won’t hang themselves, they will tie you up and run away!

Please call us BEFORE these people and your money are nothing more than a whisper in the wind!

This recounts a trip I took to Rhode Island and Connecticut in August 2008.
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I took another trip this past weekend. I needed some time away from the office. But more importantly, I needed another haircut. The state this time…Rhode Island! I’ve tried to see a new state every year, trying to collect all 50. It was my first time in RI, my 36th overall. I had a good time, capped off by the dozen clam cakes I ate Sunday. I found a seafood place called George’s of Galilee (yes, it’s in Galilee, RI) on the beach, I managed to eat eight of them while sitting at the bar on the porch, while gazing out at the Block Island ferry boats coming in and out. I took the other four back for dinner. My official Tourist Attraction is the Slater Mill in Pawtucket, a former textile and machinery mill complex. Oddest of all, I was accused of having an accent by the good RI and MA folks I met. Only because I was there.

As you know, I keep lists. In the words of the late Phil Rizzuto, “for those of you scoring along at home” here are some other things I did (and the # of states in which I’ve done them):

1) State Visits – Rhode Island (36)
2) Barber Shop – I got my haircut at Vinnie’s Barber Shop in Cranston. In hindsight I could have found a more photogenic “barber salon.” Overall a fairly average experience. (27)
3) State Capitol – Rhode Island (18) and Connecticut (19). I could have stood in the dais of the RI Senate Chamber as no one was around to care. The CT tour was guided, the only way I could get in on Saturday.
4) Barbecue – LJ’s in Pawtucket, RI (18) and BT Lanes Divine Swine in Griswold, CT (19).
5) Church – St. Peter’s-by-the-Sea Episcopal in Narragansett, RI (18). It’s not actually by the sea, probably 8 blocks away.
6) Movie – Rhode Island (19)
7) Baseball – Pawtucket Red Sox (13)
8 ) Community College – Rhode Island (16) and Connecticut (17).

I had other ambitions, but realized that I was on vacation and should slow down a bit. I also managed to visit my first stand-alone Dunkin’ Donuts, visited a random colonial museum in Wickford, and finished reading a massive book.

Beginning this Friday, my products will be available at Craftland, “an annual holiday sale in downtown Providence, RI that celebrates all kinds of sparkly handmade objects and the people who make them.”

An amazing 170 crafters will have their unique handmade wares on display. The colorful handcrafted displays will be filled with jewelry, plushies, ceramics, soaps, and various other fun, quirky and beautiful objets d’art.

This year’s Craftland runs from December 4 through December 31. They are open seven days a week from 10am – 6pm, except Thursdays and Saturdays, when they are open from 10am – 8pm. The Craftland store is located at 235 Westminster Street, Providence, RI 02903.

For more information, you can visit the Craftland website, call 401.272.4285 or email info@craftlandshow.com.

Exterior view of Craftland, copyright @Craftland

“The real mark of a writer…is someone who sits down everyday and writes.”
“I was a lost soul before I became a writer.”
“Writing is a way for human beings to transcend their own realities, their own limitations.”
“I always freeze when people ask me about what I’m reading.”

On subject matter and choosing subject matter:
“There’s nothing rational about it.”
“very basic questions like mortality, loss of love or the pursuit of love.”
“Daydreaming your way into the story and the characters.”
“This is what writers do: They imagine their way into alternate realities, alternate states of being and try to bring those to life.”
As an artist “you make room in your thoughts for your creative ideas to ebb and flow.”
“There’s no way to explain it.”
“I have to work my way inside the narrator’s voice and inside her being.”
“The specifics of the drama are things I had to invent.”
“My memories begin here, in Rhode Island.”

Last night I went to the Zoning Board hearing on the CPSH.  I got there at 6:00, and watched 5 people go before the board for variances.  (One was for Regal Reptile, a cool pet shop that wants to move to Pawtucket.  I have been to their Providence location a bunch of times, and the owner does shows for elementary schools and this past summer gave a demo on a campground that my sister was visiting.  Hopefully they will get approval)

But I was not there for the zoning variances, I was there for the hearing to repeal a zoning decision for CSHP.  Unfortunately  that hearing was moved to last on the docket.  I wanted to testify (since I am a Pawtucket resident I hoped it would help) but I left a little after 10:00 p.m..  I got to watch the beginning of the hearing, and the main argument from the city official was the Grant building was not zoned for education.  The official agreed that there were people in this “multi-use” building that were doing education, like the Chess Club, and said he had fined them.  I had to wonder, as a resident of Pawtucket, why are  we trying to fine and or close down businesses that are keeping the downtown area open?  Downtown has been a ghost town for years, is it really prudent to fine a chess club and not allow the opening of CSPH?  Is Pawtucket that anti-education they can’t even see a commercial or even a taxable value to these businesses?

It was obvious that CSPH was targeted for what they were teaching…Sex.  The zoning official was very upset that he was portrayed as using the zoning codes to keep out a business that he disagrees with.  It was also obvious that the board was using zoning codes to keep out this business out.  Repeatedly the official said this has nothing to do with sex, but I wonder how many businesses that go for a license have the zoning board call the police? (Police were testifying as I left).  This particular zone allows counseling and reproductive centers, but officials say that they will not allow for education.

I wonder, as a tax payer, how much this war on semantics is going to cost me?   Steve Brown of the ACLU was there, and it is obvious that if the board does not allow for this Center to open, a lengthy legal battle will begin.

This whole battle began when Donna Hughes sent an email to the members of Pawtucket’s city council.  Donna Hughes is anti-sex (mostly anti-heterosexual sex, you can draw your own conclusions on that).  It is sad that one woman’s radical agenda is costing the tax payers money to fight this in court, and she doesn’t even live in Pawtucket.  For a brief moment I thought she would show up to the hearing, but she didn’t.  It looks like she might be basking in the glory of passing a prostitution law (albeit so far unenforced prostitution law), and leaving the mess she caused to unfold at it’s own pace and direction.  I guess it doesn’t really matter if she was there or not, I am sure she will have to testify if and when this goes to court.  I wonder if Hughes thinks it was worth it?  I guess this is one of those “cutting off the nose to spite your face” deals.  Who is this really hurting?  I know the publicity that the CSPH has received is probably worth the aggravation.  There were many media outlets there last night; tv, newspapers, magazines, and bloggers, you can’t pay for publicity like that!

Winter in Rhode Island can be a lonely and crude experience. Out here in L.A. winter is synonymous with nothing, just another month in the plastic city. Either way, winter can depress us, it does depress us. Now, I’m not saying Falside’s winter beat tape titled Cold Feat* is going to keep Jack Frost out of your living room, but it will inspire some of your dormant neurons to fire off, and God knows you need that you dumb bastard. Peep the tracks below, but download the link to check my personal favorite on the tape, Well Another Day.

Falside – Growing Tomatos with Fire

Falside – Art of Chase

Falside – Street Lights, Knife Fights

Download the winter collection in it’s entirety right here son.

* Shout out to Falside for the early heads up on this tape, always a pleasure to drop dope shit “first”

In September 2005, Martel purchased property from the Town of Richmond. The property was previously used as a restaurant and was located in the general business district. Martel purchased the parcel with the plans to open an adult entertainment business but he did not inform the town of this intention. The Town issued a building permit to Martel, who in the permit process stated that the use of the property would be for retail. When the Town became aware of the intended use of the land the planning board offered and adopted an amendment to the zoning ordinance. The amendment prohibited the operation of an adult entertainment business in the area. The planning board then informed Martel that because he was planning on changing the use of the property from restaurant to retail, Martel would need to submit a development plan review. Martel did not submit the plan until after the amendment has been adopted and when he did he was denied. Martel filed suit claiming that the Town should be equitably stopped from enforcing the amended zoning ordinance because Martel reasonably relied on the various construction permits that the Town had issued before informing him that he needed to submit the above mentioned plan.

The Rhode Island Supreme Court noted that building permits that are lawfully issued for a permitted use are immune to impairment or revocation by reason of subsequent amendment to the zoning ordinance.  However, the zoning ordinance in this case clearly states that in order to gain approval from the town building official Martel needed to submit a development plan review to the board if he intended to change the use of the land. Martel argued that the Court should apply the doctrine of estoppel despite the fact that Martel did not file the plan review. The court stated that it is the building applicant’s duty to ensure that his application conforms with all of the appropriate zoning ordinances and Martel’s plan did not conform, therefore he was in the wrong. The issuance of a building permit without a development plan review is unlawful, and as such a claim of equitable estoppel does not apply.

Martel Investment Group v Town of Richmond, 2009 WL 3734120 (RI, 11/9/09)

The opinion can be accessed at: http://www.courts.state.ri.us/superior/pdf/06-0276.pdf

**Before reading any further, this post contains pin-up photos so you may not want children around to see the photos. There’s no nudity but it’s pin-up style and Santa is involved, so you get the idea.   haha**

Last night, a bunch of photographers got together at a local studio (who are in a local photog group) for a Christmas Pin-Up session with Santa & two models. We all hung out for a few hours, taking varies shots in a couple of different rooms. The models were great to work with and hey…it’s def not every day you get to work with Santa! We had so much fun! I so wished I felt up to par (darn migraine) to get really creative with some of them last night but I got some shots I’m happy with.

Here are a few faves of mine from the session:

Name: Johnny Rockets
Location: 269 Thayer St, College Hill (Providence).
Hours: Use common sense (it is in a college area).

Well, there’s a lot to say about this place. The bathroom isn’t for everyone, just customers: and at that, customers who request a token to use the restroom – like a New York City lunch counter, except in the big city of Providence. But as paying customers, the friendly waitstaff showed The Designated Dumper and The Clogger where the tokens were located, so that they could visit as often as they desired.

The men’s and women’s restrooms were made up of just a toilet and sink each, but both had their problems. The Clogger, who visited first, found that the door to the men’s room would not lock, which he was disappointed but not infuriated with, and there was visible vandalism in multiple places on the mirror, as well as on the door which someone appeared to try to wipe away with soap and water. There was two-ply toilet paper, however. The Designated Dumper was somewhat more frustrated with the non-lacking door, which it was agreed would have been a serious problem if one needed to push one out in there. Across the hall in the women’s restroom, The Designated Dumper’s significant other found the facility acceptable, but lacking a critical element: paper towels.

Luckily for those who may need to spend an extended visit in the men’s restroom, the food at Johnny Rockets, which is made out of enough grease to make you rather flammable, will not make you run to the bathroom until the next day, or at the least, later that evening. But if we were reviewing how many bathroom trips this food will make you have, this place would be looking at a zero square rating.

For a quick leak, Johnny’s will do. But you probably don’t want to hang out in the bathroom any longer.

Rating: 2 out of 5 squares
Date of Visit: 11/28/09
Reviewed by: The Clogger + The Designated Dumper

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Book Lover on your Christmas shopping list? 

Order Men in My Town on Amazon.com or email Keith at MenInMyTown@aol.com to order a personalized, autographed copy direct from the author.  Free Shipping on Autographed Copies.

Smith has delivered a gripping, fast paced crime story, a captivating mystery, inspired by actual events. It’s a “someone got away with murder” novel you can’t put down; a story that will stay with you long after you finish reading Men in My Town.

The story of the abduction, beating and rape of a teenage boy from Lincoln, Rhode Island, followed by the unsolved brutal murder of his assailant in Providence, is now a moving novel written by the man who survived this vicious attack.

Men in My Town by Keith Smith. Based on Actual Events.  Available now at Amazon.com in Paperback and Kindle.