The Citadel went 2-2 on its recent road trip, just about as expected, losing to Missouri State and West Virginia, and winning neutral-site games against Eastern Michigan and Maryland-Eastern Shore.  A few comments on the four games:

• Against Maryland-Eastern Shore, Mike Groselle had a very active 13 minutes, scoring 14 points (4-4 FG and 6-6 FT) while pulling down 4 rebounds, and also committing 4 fouls.  Talk about an all-action player.
• UMES reserve frontcourt player Lyvann Obame Obame grabbed 10 rebounds in only 9 minutes of play but didn’t attempt a shot from the field…kind of a strange line.  Obame Obame is a 6′6″ native of Gabon, by the way.
• Austin Dahn was 3-5 from 3-point land in the UMES game.  Alas, in the other three games he was a combined 0-10 from beyond the arc.
• Conversely, Zach Urbanus made 12 of 21 three-pointers over the four-game span.  Joe Wolfinger was actually even better from outside (13-21), including a 5-5 night against UMES (The Citadel made 13 three-pointers in that game).
• Fifteen different Bulldogs played against UMES.  All of them played at least three minutes.
• The Citadel’s win over Eastern Michigan came down to winning the rebounding battle (33-24) while committing five fewer turnovers.  Cameron Wells’ 10-12 night from the line came in handy, too (he finished with 24 points).
• The Citadel led for much of the EMU game, but actually trailed by 2 with less than 5 minutes to play before rallying for a victory in what was in effect the “swing” game of the road trip.
• The Bulldogs lost by 17 points to Missouri State, but it was a three-point game (55-52) at the 4:32 mark of the second half before the Bears pulled away.  That game was more competitive than the final score suggests.
• Missouri State had a very efficient offensive game against Bulldogs, scoring 72 points in only 63 possessions, which is what happens when you shoot well from the field (including 9-18 from 3-land), the foul line, and only commit 8 turnovers.  The Citadel’s defensive stats took a hit in that game.
• West Virginia only committed four turnovers against The Citadel (the Bulldogs suffered 19 of their own).  Three of the four WVU turnovers were steals by Cameron Wells.
• The Citadel had 56 possessions against the Mountaineers, a very slow pace, even by the Bulldogs’ normal standards.  The 19 turnovers are an even bigger black mark in a game that with that few possessions, of course; without them, The Citadel fared well, shooting well from outside (9-16 from 3) and holding its own on the boards (30 rebounds for each school).  It’s just almost impossible to win, or even be in the game, when you turn the ball more than one of every three possessions.
• Incidentally, the Bulldogs’ pace of play for each of the four games was as follows:  EMU (60 possessions), Mizzou State (62), UMES (65), WVU (56).  That’s a little low for the WVU game, but generally those numbers indicate the tempo that favors The Citadel’s style of play.

Before anyone gets too disappointed with the Bulldogs’ 3-3 record, a little perspective.  By the time the turkey was being carved this year, The Citadel already had two Division I victories.  Two years ago, the Bulldogs had two D-1 wins all season…

—

Now it’s time for the CollegeInsider.com Skip Prosser Invitational, named for the late Wake Forest coach.  The Citadel will host Savannah State (although the Bulldogs will not play the Tigers), UVA-Wise (an NAIA Division II school) and Central Connecticut State (of the Northeast Conference).  There will be two games on Saturday and two on Sunday, all held at McAlister Field House.

The Citadel is hosting the event, I gather, primarily because head coach Ed Conroy was named the 2009 Skip Prosser Man of the Year.  I suspect that attendance will not be very high, given the field, and also because it’s the weekend after Thanksgiving.  Still, it’s two more games for the Bulldogs before beginning conference play, which probably counts for something.

As I noted above, The Citadel will not play Savannah State in the event — it’s an “invitational” as opposed to a true tournament.  The Bulldogs open with UVA-Wise on Saturday and face Central Connecticut State on Sunday.

—

UVA-Wise (officially “The University of Virginia’s College at Wise”) has been a four-year school since 1970; it was initially a junior college, founded in 1954.  Until 1999 the school was called Clinch Valley College, so if you aren’t familiar with UVA-Wise, perhaps you have heard of it under that name.  Of course, odds are you’ve never heard of Clinch Valley College either.

UVA-Wise has a little under 2,000 students and is located in the southwestern corner of Virginia, not too far away from Big Stone Gap.  Its most notable alum, according to Wikipedia, is Holly Kiser, who appeared (and was the first-season winner) on a reality TV show called Make Me A Supermodel.  I will admit I don’t know anything about this show, which evidently airs on Bravo.  At any rate, I suppose congratulations are in order to Ms. Kiser.

As for the basketball team, the Highland Cavaliers play in the Appalachian Athletic Conference, a league that includes schools like Milligan, Montreat, and Virginia Intermont.  UVA-Wise was 8-21 last season, and has averaged 18.5 losses per season over the last four years.

The Citadel is UVA-Wise’s first NCAA Division I opponent this season, but in past years the Highland Cavaliers have played (and lost to) schools such as VMI, Wofford, and Charleston Southern.  Last season UVA-Wise dropped games to Elon (92-65), Longwood (87-44), Gardner-Webb (74-47), and Coastal Carolina (90-51).

UVA-Wise comes into Saturday’s game with a record of 3-4, having lost on Tuesday in Pippa Passes, Kentucky, to Alice Lloyd College.  The Highland Cavaliers like an up-tempo game, averaging 81.6 possessions per contest.  This has led to some high-scoring games.  UVA-Wise shoots the ball fairly well (other than free throw shooting — the H-Cavs were an atrocious 9-31 from the charity stripe in a loss to Emory & Henry), but turns the ball over a lot and is not a particularly good defensive squad.

The Highland Cavaliers employ a 9- or 10-man rotation.  No player on the squad is taller than 6′6″, which may make guarding Joe Wolfinger a bit of a problem.

—

Central Connecticut State will be The Citadel’s opponent on Sunday.  CCSU is located in New Britain and has slightly under 10,000 students.  It has been around in various forms since 1849, attaining university status in 1983.  Notable alums of the school include two former NFL head coaches, Dave Campo and Mike Sherman, as well as the legendary Richard Grieco.

Howie Dickenman, a former assistant to Jim Calhoun, has been at Central Connecticut State since 1996.  Dickenman has had a good run at CCSU, which is also his alma mater.  The Blue Devils have made three NCAA appearances under Dickenman, most recently in 2007.  However, CCSU has had two straight losing seasons (going 13-17 last year).  The Devils were 8-10 in NEC play; CCSU hasn’t had a record in conference worst than that since joining the league in 1998.

Dickenman has a young team this season.  Only one senior has seen playing time thus far, and that player (Joe Seymore) has only played fourteen minutes in two games.  Of the six players who are averaging more than twenty minutes per game, two are freshmen, two are sophomores, and two are juniors, including hard-nosed point guard Shemik Thompson, who was the rookie of the year in the NEC in 2008 despite having a plate put into his head following a concussion.

In contrast to UVA-Wise, the Blue Devils like to play at a slower pace.  In the past two seasons, CCSU has averaged 65.9 and 67.2 possessions per game, but this season in two games Central Connecticut State is averaging just 59.5 possessions per contest.  Of course, two games is a decidedly small sample size.

The bigger issue for CCSU is that is has lost both games, against Fairfield (in a game played in Bridgeport) and at Savannah State.  Yes, Central Connecticut State is going to play consecutive games against Savannah State, which is a little odd.  The Tigers have actually played three games since the initial meeting with the Devils, while CCSU hasn’t played a game since the 16th of November.

CCSU simply hasn’t shot well from the field in either of the two games, shooting less than 38% from the field while its opponents have shot almost 46% from the field.  The Devils have also been crushed on the glass, to the tune of a -12 rebounding margin, particularly getting whipped on the offensive boards.  It’s hard to win games when you don’t shoot well and can’t rebound effectively.

Like UVA-Wise, CCSU has a 9- or 10-man rotation, and also like UVA-Wise, the Devils lack size.  The tallest player on the roster, freshman Joe Efese, is only 6′6″.

—

The Bulldogs should handle UVA-Wise fairly easily and will be a slight favorite against Central Connecticut State.  It would be nice to be over .500 when Davidson comes to town on December 3.

Let’s all try to be friends. Uhm-kay?

I mean, we’re all members of the same species, residing in the same hyper-localized geography, sharing most of the same experiences. Our bodies could probably be considered nodes of one hive-mind.

Oh wait, not mine. I aint no Jacksonfool. I live in motherfucking Hollywood. I’m Richard Fucking Greico. Do you assholes hear me? Do any of You assholes even have a collection of 1980s cars? Ever heard of a Testarossa?

Have yall ever noticed that Riverside is geographically identical to the West Bank?

A young quartet of gangsters with Christian Slater and Patrick Dempsey, only in the film world can this happen.

The film focuses primarily on Luciano and Lansky as they rise from petty criminals and bootleggers to push aside the old guard of the Mafia and eventually establish The Commission, which set up the New York Mafia into five separate families. Bugsy Siegel (Richard Grieco) and Frank Costello (Costas Mandylor) control the physical elements of the operation, while Lucky Luciano (Christian Slater) and Meyer Lansky (Patrick Dempsey) bring up the business end.

This is basically every mafia movie cliche that you have ever seen in one film. There are obvious scenes that are just total rip-offs from The Godfather and Scarface, that after awhile I was just bored and would rather watch paint dry.

The historical inaccuracy of this movie is an insult. I don’t mind movies changing history for dramatic purposes when they are well-made. The movie doesn’t just embellish facts; it completely makes them up. Almost none of the events are portrayed as they actually happened, but even this would have been forgivable if the reinvented events were remotely plausible. Instead you get these fantastical “hero saves the day” action sequences that you would expect to see in a Steven Segal film. And for some inexplicable reason the movie changes the name of the famous gangster Maranzano to Faranzano, despite the fact that every other character’s name is accurate.

I didn’t quite care for these mobsters especially after the first 20 minutes where the film starts to glamorize the life of a mobster. In Goodfellas, at times they glamorized but also showed effects of being a mob member and there not pretty. In Mobsters they kill normal innocent people and were supposed to like them?

The plot is so complicated, that in order to kill this guy we have to get his trust and in order to get his trust we have to fake trying to kill him and if we protect him long enough we can kill him. This also goes basically throughout the whole film.

If there is any good thing about this film is that has to be Christian Slater who is very convincing in his role, and although he has a horrible script to play with he still tries to make the best of it, and does a fine job.

Consensus: The film felt more like a parody with a horrible script, obvious inaccuracies, and cliches beyond belief. A Mobster film for a younger audience but even they may find it boring.

1/10=SomeOleBullShiIIttt!!!!

Richard Grieco

Dang, yall! Go easy on the comments, man.

My kids use this website for reading 101, not some bitch-ass school for booknerds and basketball dudes.

Try responding to this:
What path should the City of Jacksonville take with the “Shipyards” property? I’d kinda like to be able to take Richard Jr. to a badass riverfront amusement park. What do you think?

Riding the Bearcats tomorrow and  jumping on the Jacory Harris bandwagon.  G Whiz likes…

Cincinatti (-16)

Miami (-2 1/2)

Ohio State (-14)

Houston (even)

Boise State (-16 1/2)

Leans

Bama/Arkansas Over (58)  Michigan State (+3)

There will be plenty of assery at Rocco’s tomorrow night.   I will be taking the late games and pounding 2 for 1 Perroni’s.

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My guess is Richard Grieco didn’t go to college.   Hold that thought.  I’m a jerk.  Wikipedia tells me not only did he go, but he played football for Central Connecticut State University.  Recruited apparently to play fullback and linebacker.  He only stayed two years.  I’m sure he was crushing it with the ladies and decided to give soaps a shot.  Who needs to ride the bench at a one double A school when you could be banging Yasmine Bleeth.  That’s Yasmine before she had nostril replacement surgery.  C’mon, there’s probably only 875 guys in the world who can say they banged Yasmine Bleeth.  What in the name of Bill Hogan does Richard Grieco have to do with any of this?  He goes to the same bar that I do, to watch College Football.  He might go there every day.  He may own it.  I have no fucking idea, but last Saturday, I hunkered down for the night games, and sure enough, Jump street himself was man-hugging everybody in the joint.  I’m guessing he didn’t go 0 -3 that afternoon like I did.  He probably didn’t think that Toledo would score some points against Ohio State.  Aaron Opelt looked pretty good last couple of weeks, surely he could manage two scores, against a suspect Buckeye defense.  C’mon “Booker”, is Clemson really a touchdown better than Boston College?   I guess they are, 54 yards of total offense.  Hard to beat anyone with those kind of numbers.    Richard Grieco seems like a smart guy.  He goes to, or owns, not sure yet…Rocco’s on Ventura.  After looking at his IMDB page, I’m guessing, he goes to… Rocco’s.  A bar that offers a 2 for 1 happy hour from 3 to 7.  I’m not so great with numbers, but that’s four hours of happy.  In my case, that’s 10 beers for the price of 5.  They also serve them to you two at a time, so order one, get two.   I’m sure trolling at Rocco’s is as easy as it was at Central Connecticut State for Grieco

If I see him this Saturday, I’ll ask, but I can honestly say I thought that Virginia Tech was going to pound Nebraska.  The Cornhuskers played nobody in the previous two weeks.  Tech hung with Bama, and waxed Marshall.   After Saturday, I can honestly say,  Nebraska is a very good football team.  That is one stingy defense.  They are going to give Big 12 teams lots of problems and they are going to win some games.  Bo Pellini has them going in the right direction.  This loss is a heartbreaker for them.  For Tech to score the way they did at the end, just way too much time.  Here’s the thing, I hate betting Virginia Tech.   They always seem to need unthinkable big plays to win a game.  Block punts, kick returns.   I hate betting these spread teams, that feature the run.  The way that West Virginia did with Pat White.  Guess what, Pat White was a really good college quarterback.  The guy had a great arm.   They just happen to have had Steve Slaton, Owen Schmitt, and Noel Devine when he was there.   And when teams keyed the run.  White could kill you with his feet or his arm.  Tyrod Taylor is not Pat White.  Neither is Baylor’s Robert Griffin, nor Georgia Tech’s Tyrone Nesbitt.  Great Athletes.   Far from great quarterbacks.   You make these guys throw, you’ve got a good shot to win.    And guess what Bill Stewart?  While we’re at it,  get with fucking program.  Noel Devine is one of the best backs in the country and you are killing him with Jarrett Brown.  Here’s a line 18/32 – 221 yards.  1 td.  4 picks.   Brutal!  Quincy Carter just winced.  To quote Glengary…Nice guy, I don’t give a shit…good father, Fuck you, go home and play with your kids…Auburn didn’t beat you, Bill Stewart…Jarrett Brown did.  Devine had 128 on 15 carries with 3 TDs.  If you let Devine run, Brown can’t throw it to the other team.  Don’t ignore Devine because you think you can turn Jarrett Brown into Pat White.  That dude stood up and told the NFL, “I’m not Matt Jones, or Antwan Randel-el, I’m a quarterback.”   Got to like the set of stones on Pat White.

It’s weird to see a middle aged man wearing hoop earrings.   But then again, I was never in Mobsters.  I’m done with the Grieco resume, but I really liked Arkansas.  Ryan Mallett has an absolute cannon.  Fuck he can throw it.  Mitch Mustain is the emergency punter now for USC.  Did he think Bobby Petrino was not gonna throw the ball?  Did the hometown boy ever see any of his Louisville teams?  Put him right behind Shelly Long on the What the Fuck was I thinking list?   Maybe he didn’t think he could get into USC’s Marshall School of Business without a football scholarship?  Maybe Mustain is smarter than we think, maybe I’m reaching.  I like Arkansas a lot this year.  They will be the Ole Miss of last year.  When you’ve got a guy that can throw a ball fifty yards hash to hash, you’re gonna catch somebody on their heels.  Now you need to be able to play a little bit of defense.   Holy shit, Georgia lit them up.  Sweet Lou and I had Arkansas.  looking back, Arkansas laying points?  They were never really out of it.  They give you the sense they can score at will.  We haven’t heard the last from Arkansas.   Sweet Lou texted me, he didn’t come to Rocco’s, apparently he hates two for one Perroni’s, (Italy’s answer to Stella.  BTW de-fucking-liscious), and asked me what I wanted to do to help us get out of this blood bath.  I said Texas Tech second half.  Arkansas/Georgia over.  UCLA.  UNLV and the Over.  Shit ten beers in, and the only loser on that list was UNLV (-7), not bad.  Apparently Hawaii has found another kid who no one else wanted, because he’s awesome and throws for 500 yards a game.   My bad. Greg Alexander has 1222 yards, 9 touchdowns and 2 picks in three games.  Hawaii looks like a covering machine this year.

The only bright spot for us, in an otherwise abysmal day of gambling was Cincinnati.   They’re for real.  Brian Kelly won’t be there long.  He’s too good of a coach.  Tony Pike is looking like an NFL quarterback.  They should win the Big East and Pitt seems to be only thing standing in their way.    With and Wannstedt team, they are TBD.

The good news is I have found a bar in the Valley that’s within walking distance of my house.  Good food, I guess…I had a pizza.  Double digit beers,  plenty of college football, and somebody in the bar wanted the UTEP/ New Mexico State game on.  Really?   I think maybe there was another degenerate in the house.

You know what they say…Good enough for Grieco.  Good enough for me.

This Stalker Thing Kind Of Sucks by Texasartchick

Michael Clarke Duncan … Roxbury Bouncer (as Michael &Big Mike& Duncan) Richard Grieco … Richard Grieco Trish Ramish … Roxbury Club Girl MPAA:Rated PG-13 for sex related humor, language and some drug content. Runtime:82 min …

Michael Clarke Duncan … Roxbury Bouncer (as Michael &Big Mike& Duncan) Richard Grieco … Richard Grieco Trish Ramish … Roxbury Club Girl MPAA:Rated PG-13 for sex related humor, language and some drug content. Runtime:82 min …

Don&t be Richard Grieco&s hair, Gus, Shawn admonished him. Besides, I&ll buy you lunch today. Shawn paused for dramatic effect. Pretty please? With sprinkles on top? he begged. Shawn heard Gus snort. All right, Shawn. …

Mill Creek Entertainment will release the Richard Grieco &80s detective series, Booker – The Complete Series for DVD on August 25th, 2009. The 21 Jumpstreet spinoff, will be a 4-disc DVD set, which will include all 22 episodes from the …

Michael Clarke Duncan … Roxbury Bouncer (as Michael &Big Mike& Duncan) Richard Grieco … Richard Grieco Trish Ramish … Roxbury Club Girl MPAA:Rated PG-13 for sex related humor, language and some drug content. Runtime:82 min …

One of my favorite shows of all-time : 21 Jumpstreet. 

Happy times in Jumpstreet land....

 It started the careers of Johnny Depp, Richard Grieco, and Holly Robinson.  On my all-time favorite TV show podcast, I talked about the episode “Woolie Bullies” where the Jumpstreet crew spoke about their run-ins with bullies in the past.  My favorite, Dennis Booker’s story.  Everyone is embarrassed telling their youthful stories of being terrorized by those 11-13 year olds that made their lives a livin” hell.  But Booker’s story, well, you got to see it.  It reminds me of  my very own bulley story.  In 5th grade, I dated, for like a week, one of my friends sisters.  Hey I know, 5th grade.  but I bought her a ring, etc.  But then when I broke up with her, my friend Josh kept pickin’ on me in art class.  He just wouldn’t stop.  He even had  all my friends against me.  So I did what I had to do.  I challenged him to a fight.  He had to be big and bad.  He said,”Fine, 4 o’clock after school.”  I said, “No, now.”  I popped him in the face right there in art class.  He dropped like a sack of potatoes.  Let’s just say, he was never a problem ever again.  It reminds me of the clip below.  Oh, happy times.

Thanks to Jd Man, he sent me the link of that particular scene.  Check it out below :

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sXzQyvYxLc

C’est le jour des enfants, c’est le jour de ma naissance (d’après mon thème astral), c’est le jour de mon cinéma à moi !

Aujourd’hui, mon film coup de coeur n’est pas un film mais plutôt une série qui m’a marqué jusqu’aux fringues, jusqu’au look (parfois improbable mais ça, c’est à cause de la fin des années 80). D’accord, il y en a eu qui ont compté pour moi, de McGyver en passant par Code Quantum (trop, trop bon !!) puis par toutes ces séries et dessins animés de la 5 (souvenez-vous !) et du Club Do’ mais celle-ci marqua mon adolescence. Il y avait quelque chose de “cool”, de rebelle, d’actuel.

Il y avait Steven Willliams ( que j’ai bien aimé notamment dans le rôle de Monsieur X dans “X-Files” des années après), Peter DeLuise (qui poursuivit une seconde carrière en réalisant et produisant parfois le fameux “Stargate” avec mon McGyver infaillible), Richard Grieco (qui reprit son rôle dans un spin-off appelé “Booker“) mais surtout qui vit l’apparition de Brad Pitt dans un rôle impossible (c’te coupe de cheveux !).

Il y avait surtout Johnny Depp. Ouep d’abord !

Enfin, bref ! Cette série, vous l’avez deviné, c’est 21 Jump Street !

Je me souviens bien de cette série, de l’heure à laquelle elle passait sur la 1ère chaîne, du comportement et de la mentalité que j’ai commencé à adopter. Tout comme le(s) héros de la série, il fallait se dépasser, faire ses preuves, se battre toujours contre un système loin d’être équitable. Il fallait constamment repousser quelque chose de soi… hors de soi. S’extérioriser, montrer que l’on est capable.

Je sais que mes héros de papier s’imprègnent aussi de ce tempérament, de cette énergie à dévorer le monde, de montrer au monde qu’il y a beaucoup plus à vivre qu’on ne le croit. Non, pas vous ?

Je vous laisse avec le trailer de la série mais si vous avez des tuyaux pour me faire revivre 21 Jump Street ou même Mc Gyver, n’hésitez pas à me faire signe ! Je passe en mode “Revival de ma jeunesse” !

My last day of actual employment for my current job is this coming Friday. I will say that I’ve been extremely lucky over the years as far as job situations go. Sure, I’ve been unemployed more times than I care to admit, but I’ve always managed to find something worthwhile at just the right time. I’ve only ever had to take one odd job for a brief amount of time…as a temporary fulfillment person at the local Amazon warehouse. Two months of very, very, very, very, very interesting people and mindless, repetitive (yet oddly fulfilling) physical work. In the months following that gig, I would walk the aisles of our local department stores, pointing at random items and calling out what shipping box size they would mail out in. At the time, I could’ve easily fit my oldest son into a J4. He was pretty thin. Sure, the D4 had a bit more wiggle room, but the J4 allowed him to stretch out.

What can I say? I wanted to make sure, if we ended up homeless, that I could provide the right-sized shelter for him. I’m a responsible dad.

Anyway, with unemployment fast approaching, I feel like Nell Fenwick being lashed to the tracks and facing down an oncoming locomotive. I’m pretty sure there’s no Dudley Do Right in sight, so I’m going to have to fend for myself. The job market looks pretty thin these days. I’m not having much luck tracking down anything worthwhile. However, I started thinking that things could always be worse. With that said, here’s my list of 10 Horrible Jobs For Unemployed Writers:

1. Homeless person sign proofreader – While there’s some good karma to be earned by helping the homeless craft more effective cardboard-based marketing tools, I can’t really imagine much of a financial upside to this endeavor. And I have to admit that a bit of bad grammar or poor spelling adds a rustic flair to the project and is probably more apt to earn someone some spare change than a well-spoken, nicely penned plea.

2. Movie explainer for the blind – No one enjoys the dynamic and descriptive power of words more than writers. And when people are inevitably disappointed by a movie they thought they should love, they almost always state “the book was better.” However, I’m pretty sure the other patrons in the theater wouldn’t appreciate me yelling out every bit of action taking place on the screen just for the benefit of my unsighted benefactor. Sure, I may find a really rich blind guy who wants to enjoy the film experience, but I might also get my teeth kicked out by the overeager fans at the latest Jason Statham showing. Not good odds.

3. Music explainer for the deaf – Along the same lines as #2, except I just think this one would be really hard. I mean, with the blind guy you can at least describe actions to him and he will understand what you’re saying. How do you explain music to someone who has never heard it before? Might as well just be transcribing ingredients off the side of a cake batter box. “Okay, this song is whipped slightly and appears to be rather yellow. The lyrics have something to do with presetting an oven to 375.”

4. Punctuation Czar – There’s a part of me that would love to work for the federal government…great benefits, a certain amount of job security, get to wear suits all the time, play basketball with the president, make crank calls to the Hungarian embassy and tell them that everyone hates paprika. But at the same time, no one wants to be the guy who tells people where to put commas. That guy would probably be called a dick.

5. Chris Berman’s nickname generator – Remember that Rob Schneider “copier guy” skit from SNL? Multiply that times a billion, add an encyclopedia set’s worth of sports clichés, and then shoot me in the head.

6. Writing partner for amusement park caricature artist – You know that guy who drew a really exaggerated version of your head on a tiny bicycle-riding body (even though you explicitly told them that you were a skateboarder and your hair doesn’t look nearly as 80’s as they made it out to be)? Well, imagine being the guy who sits in the booth next to that hack and offers to write a short story about you instead. Wow…that would be something thrilling to watch on an overhead projector, huh?

7. Love note writer for hopeless high school nerd – No thanks. I already lived this one.

8. Screenwriter for one of those Scary Movie-like parodies – It probably pays pretty well and may lead to bigger and better things, but if I started down that dark path I don’t think I could love myself anymore. And I don’t want to be the person held responsible for reinvigorating Richard Grieco’s career.

9. D-List Celebrity publicist - Again, this would probably pay pretty well, but it would hurt my brain. The best-known celebrities are the ones who are either really talented or downright annoying and useless. These types have already found their niche. How am I supposed to figure out the best way to utilize Richard Grieco in this day and age?

10. Richard Grieco – No one’s currently filling this position, right? Maybe I could pitch some scripts centered around an old narc trying to pass himself off as a high school student, or a modern dancer who turns into a cat, or a troubleshooter from the future sent back in time to partner up with Luke Skywalker and kill that guy from the Trancers movies. I’m envisioning a line of t-shirts, a collectible card game and maybe even a webcomic. This could be huge!

Hollywood, here I come!

Whereabouts: Philadelphia, PA

Word: jejune (request from Marc Schuster) [ji-joon] adj. 1. without interest or significance; dull; insipid  2. juvenile; immature; childish  3. lacking knowledge or experience  4. deficient or lacking in nutritive value

Birthday: William Kidd (1645), Schuyler Colfax (1823), Joan Crawford (1905), David  Grisman (1945), Ric Ocasek (1949), Ron Jaworski (1951), Chaka Khan (1953), Moses Malone (1955), Amanda Plummer (1957), Hope Davis (1964), Richard Grieco (1965), Yasmeen Ghauri (1971), Keri Russell (1976), Perez Hilton (1978)

Occurrence: 1775 – Patrick Henry delivers his famous “Give me liberty or give me death” speech. It is strange that he said those words while he had his wife, who had gone insane, straitjacketed and locked in a room in the basement since 1772.

Standpoint: Twitter has replaced Facebook as the most talked about social networking site on the web. This past week, “tweets” (Twitter’s 140 character status updates) were big news. During the weekend festivities at SXSW, members of many bands (Jane’s Addiction, The Decemberists, Grizzly Bear – to name a few) were keeping their followers constantly updated before, during and after their shows. Shaquille O’Neal announced before the Phoenix Suns’ Saturday night game against the Washington Wizards that he was going to tweet something big during halftime. (Later, he found out that his coach knew about it and simply typed the message, “Shhhhhhh.”) Someone even jeopardized a job she had been offered after bad-mouthing the proposed employer in a tweet. Whether we like it or not, we’re living in a pretty amazing/insane time. Cell phones make sure that everyone is constantly accessible. Facebook makes it possible for everyone to stay friends until death or account deactivation. Now Twitter affords people the ability to follow the actual events of someone’s daily life. The globe is shrinking and there’s no end in sight.

Quotation: Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. – Douglas Adams

Stupefaction: United States Armed Forces have turned down 48,000 potential recruits since 2005 due to obesity.

Tune: If you’ve recently been the victim of a bad break-up, trying doing what I did last time a relationship went awry – listen to “Rootless Tree” by Damien Rice about 400 per day. ATTENTION: IF YOU ARE LISTENING TO THIS AT WORK, DON’T PLAY AT A HIGH VOLUME. CURSE WORDS ARE SUNG LOUDLY.

Link: Multicolr Search Lab – Find images employing your favorite colors.

Gallimaufry: I am still watching “Kings” and enjoying it…This past weekend, Nicholas Cage’s new movie, “Knowing”, opened. I haven’t seen it but is Cage going to make another viable film? Not sure, but I’m of the opinion that he needs to sit down and figure out a way to star in a movie that doesn’t suck. The Washington Post’s John Anderson has more to say about the actor’s once-great career…The Onion is chronicling President Obama’s first 100 days in office. My favorite so far? Day 42…Anyone catch the Morrissey show last night in Philadelphia? If so, I would love to hear how it was. He’s on “Late with Jimmy Fallon” tonight.

I was struggling with selecting this week’s flick, but then I stumbled across this fairly light-hearted telling of the forming of the Commission in the cable listings.  I remember watching this shit as a kid and being fascinated by all of the money, booze, and tommy guns.  For the 1920s, this move is definitely money, hoes, and clothes.  One of my favorite portions of the movie is Rothstein (legendary hustler) taking a young Luciano under his wing, even showing the latter how to dress.

This shit actually makes me excited for the Last Will and Testament of Lucky Luciano.

TORRENT: Mobsters.1991

Eine Reality-Soap der ganz besonderen Art ist derzeit beim US-Sender CMT zu bestaunen. Mittlerweile zum dritten Mal: Ähnlich wie bei Promi-„Big Brother“ lassen sich sieben „Celebrities“ in einer Villa in Nashville bei dem Versuch filmen, eine Country-Karriere zu starten.

Was mich als Freund des P-Funk (Parliament, Funkadelic & Co.) daran besonders fesselt, ist die Tatsache, dass Dr. Funkenstein alias George Clinton mit von der Partie ist. Zusammen mit der ehemaligen Prince-Kreativkomplizin Sheila E., “Miss USA 2006” Tara Conner, Sängerin Taylor Dayne, Monkees-Schlagzeuger und -Sänger Micky Dolenz, Ex-Soap-Darsteller Richard Grieco und Ex-„American Idol“-Kandidat Justin Guarini.

Auf der Startseite von „Gone Country“ gibt es allerlei Videos zu sehen, u. a. – wieder wie bei „Big Brother“ – diverse „Confessionals“.

Eines davon dreht sich um den „Father of our Nation“ (Clinton natürlich):

Von George Clinton stammen auch einige der Highlights der ersten drei bisher ausgestrahlten Episoden, so zum Beispiel mein bisheriger Lieblingsspruch aus Episode 1: “I go out of my way to not know what I’m doin’ and I hope it’ll work out in the end.”

Running Gag ist das ohrenbetäubende Schnarchen von GC, der bewundernswerterweise in jeder Situation in ein lautstarkes Power-Nickerchen fallen kann, aus dem er sich durch einfaches Ansprechen wieder herausreißen lässt. Ich habe das bei zahlreichen Besuchen auf seiner „Funky Farm“ (siehe unten), bei P-Funk-Tourneen und diversen Flügen mit Clinton erleben dürfen.

Kommentar seine „Gone Country“-Zimmergefährten Justin Guarini: „I love my roommate George… But he snores. He sounds like a wildebeest.”

Da er in den 80er Jahren mal beim Prince-Label “Paisley Park“ unter Vertrag war, ist Sheila E. eine gute Bekannte. Auch von ihr gibt es ein Confessional:

In der ersten Episode der dritten Staffel wurden die Kandidaten zu ihrer Überraschung in einen Country-Club in Nashville gekarrt, wo sie ohne jede Vorbereitung ihrerseits mit der Band von “Gone Country”-Gastgeber John Rich auftreten mussten. Die Kapelle war offenbar gut vorbereitet. Deswegen konnte Sheila E. eine vortrefflliche Version von “Glamorous Life” hinlegen, George Clinton riss das Publikum mit “We Want the Funk”-Gegröhle hin, und Taylor Dayne konnte zeigen, dass sie mehr auf dem Kasten hat, als zu demonstrieren, welche schlimmen Folgen übermäßige Botox-Anwendung nach sich ziehen kann.

Im führenden P-Funk-Diskussionsforum („One Nation P-Funk Boardroom Forum“) deutet ein Teilnehmer aufgrund des Tipps eines „Gone Country“-Insiders an (wer könnte das wohl sein?), dass George Clinton am Ende gewinnt. Was mich nicht wundern würde, da Clinton schon vor knapp 30 Jahren auf dem Parliament-Album „Osmium“ zwei (wenn auch nicht ganz ernst gemeinte) Country-Fingerübungen präsentierte: „Little Old Country Boy“ …

… und „My Automobile“.

Mit dem Leben „on the countryside“ hat Herr Clinton auch schon intensive Erfahrungen gesammelt – siehe meine Home Story über seine Funky Farm.

Bevor jetzt George Clinton in irgendeine C- bis F-Promi-Ecke gerückt wird : Dass er es immer noch drauf hat, beweist er durch ständiges Touren mit den P-Funk All Stars aka Parliament/Funkadelic und durch den herrlichen Party-Song auf dem N.A.S.A.-Album “Spirit of Apollo”.

Cast: Will Ferrell, Chris Kattan, Dan Hedaya, Chazz Palmenteri, Loni Anderson, Molly Shannon, Dwayne Hickman, Lochlyn Munro, Elisa Donovan, Gigi Rice, Richard Grieco, Colin Quinn, Twink Caplan, Michael Clarke Duncan, Eva Mendes,  Jennifer Coolidge, Meredith Scott Lynn

Directed By: John Fortenberry & Amy Heckerling (Uncredited)

Written By: Steve Koren & Will Ferrell & Chris Kattan & Jim Carrey (Uncredited)

Cinematography By: Francis Kenny

Editor: Jay Kamen

The film is based on Saturday Night Live Character’s  whose skit mainly involves them going club hopping never talking and moving there heads side to side in sort of a bop to there constant theme song baby don’t hurt me. Then when they do dance with girls it’s together and they sort of ping pong the girl between them it’s better if you see it then me describing it. In this film we see there home life there father who runs a florist company want the to grow up and move out. Chris kattan is the rebellious one who wants to open there own club. Will is the dumb one whose father wants to marry him off to a rich lamp company owners. In this film they both are actually successful with ladies which they are not used to.

The title alone brings up memories of  the classic Marx Brothers comedy “A night at the opera” unfortunately it’s nowhere near good as that film. It doesn’t even come close. But what films really do come close to classics these days.

Maybe the last funny Saturday night live character takeoff movie. It’s funny more for the supporting characters then anything else. Lochlyn Munro as the gym obsessed friend. Chazz Palmenteri Reaching a new comedic high as Uri the club owner. Early appearances of Eva Mendes and Michael Clarke Duncan. It is also The first time Will ferell was the star of a movie he is restrained here especially by the standards of what we have seen him do in his more recent films but he is still funny.

Even the stunt casting of Richard Grieco (21 Jump Street’s Booker) is on point though the premise still works best as a five minute skit. Once you flesh out the characters that are only supposed to be minor. you really find out they weren’t really thought out better on paper ideas.

The film feels a little stale and is definitely dated. It doesn’t  look good but it’s worth watching trust me at first I thought it was going to be crappy but it won me over after I watched the whole thing. It’s not great and I would advise waiting for cable to watch it but it’s a nice way to pass time.  

I don’t know what happened but amy heckerling originally started directing the movie and finished a few scenes then it was taken over by john fortenberry.

GRADE: C

A terrific ensemble cast powers this fast-paced rise of organized crime in America. Mobsters traces the daring exploits of four close friends growing up in 1920s New York: the charming “Lucky” Luciano (Christian Slater), the savvy Meyer Lansky (Patrick Dempsey), the headstrong “Bugsy” Siegel (Richard Grieco) and the diplomatic Frank Costello (Costas Mandylor). From their humble beginnings, they formed an unbreakable bond that led them to the top of the underworld in this visually stunning film co-starring Oscar-winning actors F. Murray Abraham and Anthony Quinn.

Somewhat of an excuse to throw together four hot young actors of the moment in a serious environment, Mobsters nonetheless is a decent treatment of the rise of four of the most infamous gangsters of the 20th century. Christian Slater and Patrick Dempsey play Charlie “Lucky” Luciano and Meyer Lansky, respectively, best friends since they were kids on the mean streets of New York. When Prohibition hits, these young ambitious hoods–along with Bugsy Siegel (Richard Grieco) and Frank Costello (Costas Mandylor) make their move to take over the rackets, even as it jeopardizes their friendship. Featuring cameos by Anthony Quinn, Michael Gambon, and F. Murray Abraham, Mobsters is a guilty pleasure if a not too serious one. –Robert Lane

Mobsters [HD DVD] is available at Amazon for $7.99. To Order click here
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The other day I was watching a movie with my husband.   Joking around, I made a coy comment about the handsomeness of one actor.  My husband started laughing and remarked that it was okay for me to have a celebrity crush.  Now that permission has been granted, I’ll have to start looking for a silver screen lover.  Hmmm, who to pick?  Here a just a few who have enticed me over the years:

When I was younger I loved Jean-Claude Van Damme.  He was simply beautiful.  I also adored Prince with great fervor.  And then there was Tupac.  I loved his bad boy image as well as his dark eyes heavily fringed with girl-length lashes.  Jett Li was another one.  While I didn’t think he was “classically” good looking, there was something so striking about his face that I found appealing.  I can’t forget about singer Jon B.–he is sooo cute!  Or  Johnny Depp and Richard Grieco.  Ladies, I would have jumped 21 streets for those two!  Oh, and I just pictured David Beckham.  He is exquisite!  I don’t know about bending it like Beckham–but I can bend it for Beckham!

But as of now, I really can’t think of any one particular celebrity who blows my skirt up.  I think my husband might be surprised to find that my celebrity crush is……HIM! 

How about you?

Expanding their one-joke skit from television’s Saturday Night Live, Chris Kattan and Will Ferrell are Doug and Steve Butabi, the wearers of the rayon suits and Speedo trunks who bob their heads in unison to dance music while unsuccessfully preying on women in clubs. What’s funny in a three-minute piece doesn’t always get funnier by expansion, but Kattan and Ferrell give it a go with fellow SNL member Molly Shannon as their ambitious neighbor. By day they work in their father’s fake-plant store. By night they prowl the club scene after spraying on the cologne in their gauchely decorated bedroom. A fender-bender with Richard Grieco (playing himself) gets them into the popular club the Roxbury, but it’s not all good news, as the brothers soon find themselves torn apart. Doug and Steve are pathetic but lovable, mostly due to the actors’ talents for self-deprecating humor. All gifted comedians, Kattan, Ferrell, and Shannon obviously feel comfortable around each other, and their love triangle (which prompts send-ups of Say Anything and Jerry Maguire) is the funniest joke in this mostly lame comedy. Too bad, because it clocks in at about 80 minutes and could have run on television as a pretty good episode of SNL, which has been known to get a bit lame itself. –Shannon Gee

A Night At the Roxbury (Special Collector’s Edition) is available at Amazon for $9.99. To Order click here
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