“I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn’t believe anything.” ~~David St. Hubbins

Gearing up for his band’s Stonehenge-tinged concert, rocker/dim-bulb philosopher Nigel Tufnel* (Christopher Guest) serves up a delightfully vague introduction about the Druids, so mysterious that “no one knows who they were or what they were doing.” He might as well be talking about Spinal Tap, a heavy metal trio in which the members are legends in their own minds. So enraptured with their own mythology are these lovable dolts that they don’t find it odd they play venues with corridors that lead everywhere but the stage.

This is what Rob Reiner gets so perfectly right in “This Is Spinal Tap,” a satire (albeit a kind one) of giant metal egos wading infinitesimal pools of talent: He gives us an in-depth look at not one heavy metal band, but every larger-than-life band that ever existed. Spinal Tap is Everyband, a motley collection of stereotypes (a band member dead from choking on vomit; a Yoko/Paul-esque conflict that splits the band in half) that turn out to be as revealing and universally true as they are hysterical. The men who head up this band are idiots, but they are our idiots, DiBergi assures us, and through his admiring eyes we cannot help but love Spinal Tap, woman-degrading, glove-smelling album covers and all.

In the opening of “This Is Spinal Tap,” we learn that director Marty DiBergi (Reiner himself) has decided to take time from his dog commercial career to create a documentary of his favorite band, Spinal Tap, a two-decades-old English metal band composed of lead singer David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean), named after the patron saint of quality footwear; lead guitarist Nigel Tufnel (Guest), who believes D minor is the saddest key of all; and bass guitarist Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer), who sees his role in the band as the “lukewarm water” that tempers the fire-and-ice combo of David and Nigel. DiBergi follows Spinal Tap as the band attempts to tour America and reconnect with fans. This is a huge mistake, the band assuming they have fans to reconnect with. Years of LSD trips and perpetually croaking drummers and horrendous albums — one’s reviewed as a “pretentious ponderous collection of religious rock psalms”; another’s summed up simply as “shit sandwich” – have obliterated the American fanbase.

Nearly all of the droll, wonderful comedy in “This Is Spinal Tap” emerges from this tour, which rapidly devolves into a succession of misunderstandings and shabby bookings by their slimy manager Ian Faith (Tony Hendra). It’s like “The Three Stooges” meets VH1’s “Where Are They Now?” with razor-edged British humor lobbed in for good measure. Spinal Tap plays second fiddle to a puppet show. The guys ”headline” a military dance and the aforementioned show where nobody can find the stage, so they don’t perform. Making matters worse is David’s shrewish girlfriend (June Chadwick), who clashes with Nigel over who deserves the credit for being Spinal Tap’s “mastermind.” Watching David, Nigel and Derek crash headlong into the reality of their disappearing fame is reason enough to manifest undying love for “This Is Spinal Tap,” with its mix of satire and slapstick. 

The film’s crack team of comedic actors and Reiner’s direction, though, seal the deal. Nobody whips out one-liners with more deadpan perfection than McKean, a blockhead who says things like “it’s such a fine line between stupid and clever” and doesn’t see how those words apply to him. Shearer’s the understudy here, but he makes a definite impression. Guest somehow manages to tap into Nigel’s oddly touching vulnerability and give us a thrash rocker who’s almost childlike in his naivete. Reiner nicely underscores these performances by treating “This Is Spinal Tap” as an authentic documentary, amassing hours of footage, and so we come to see David, Nigel and Derek as wholly human in their cluelessness; we laugh at their antics, but we want them succeed, or find happiness elsewhere. They matter to us, weird as it sounds, because Reiner makes them real people. And that’s the kind of achievement that never gets old.

*That’s Nigel “We’ve Got Armadillos in Our Trousers” Tufnel to you.

On a personal level, 1986 was a pretty big year in my life. Arguably the most significant. I was conceived and born within the confines of 1986. Pretty damn important. Despite the importance of this year, I do not remember a damn thing. Based on pictures, though, I was especially adorable.

1986 was also a ridiculously excellent year in popular culture, and making the call on what to present has been one of the hardest decisions of Twenty-Three. But, I have made the call, and so begins this adventure in self punishment.

Stand By Me is a 1986 coming of age film adapted from Stephen King’s novella, The Body. I haven’t read the novella (I do intend to) but the film is so excellent that I’m going to go out on a limb and say something that I will probably never say again in my life: it is impossible that the book could be better.

Adaptation or not, Stand By Me is a perfect balance of drama and comedy, brilliantly scripted and acted, and incredibly genuine. On the ridiculously slim chance that you dislike the film, the scenery is gorgeous so at the very least it’s pretty to look at.

The story follows four boys; Gordie, Chris, Teddy and Vern on an adventure to find the body of another kid their age who had gone missing a few days earlier. They rag on each other, try to beat the shit out of each other on at least one occasion, narrowly escape death, and bond with one another along the way. Each boy has a fucked up back-story with which they are trying to come to terms (with the exception of Vern, but I get the sense that he’s just pathetic and probably the kind of kid that would be in special ed if he were 12 today), and we watch them come into their own over a two-day mission through the woods.

The film switches beautifully between comedic scenes:

and some emotional scenes (some seriously good acting by River Phoenix here):

and dramatic scenes (River Phoenix as Chris Chambers seems to be considered the best performance of this film, but tell me that Corey Feldman’s Teddy Duchamp is anything other than excellent here):

And what a line with, “I’m gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck!” I wish I could have thought of shit like that when I was 12. I wish I could think of shit like that now.

I cannot possibly do the film justice. Stand By Me is not my favorite movie, but probably makes almost any top-5 list I could create. It is an amazing piece of cinema, and something I believe everybody needs to watch at least once in his/her life, if for no other reason than to be reminded of a time when you had a gang of friends who would have gotten themselves killed for you without a second thought.

And given an opportunity probably still would, because they know you for who you could be rather than who you are or aren’t.

The film’s final verbal communication with the audience is through an adult Gordie (played by Richard Dreyfus, credited as simply “The Writer”) typing the close of the memoir that Stand By Me exists as. The line reads, “I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?”

And it’s perfection.

As I think about the libs trying to remove God from every aspect of public life I keep thinking of “Meathead” Rob Reiner in “All In The Family”. The way he spewed all that liberal crap and tried to make Archie out to be the bad guy. The harder they worked, even Carrol O’Connor who played Archie, the more popular he became. So much so that he even had a cheesy sit-com spin-off that lasted about half as long as the original.

This is another thing that has been bothering me, separation of Church and state. As I peruse my pocket edition of the Constitution I am not seeing this anywhere. I was raised, here in America, to believe in separation of Church and state. But apparently that was not the intention of the founders. So much so that they put a plaque on the top of the Washington Monument that says “Praise God”. Then they made a law that no building could ever be built in DC that is taller than the monument. What do you think about that?

Let me tell you what I think. I’m sick and tired of every nutjob with some kind of off the wall idea turning it into a religion and seeking protection under our Constitution and then turning around and trying to destroy that Constitution. Can you say “black liberation theology” or Jeremiah Wright? But he’s not alone in his quest, he has plenty of allys in the form of radical muslims. This is a modern day crusade, my friends, and we are elected to be crusaders. Are you up to the task? Before you answer you might want to google the crusades and see what you’re in for and if you are up to it.

MAGIA, ESPADA Y FANTASÍA (IV)

Las cosas como son: la película ha envejecido lo suyo desde aquel lejano 1987 de su estreno. Pero quienes la vieron en su momento y se encontraban en la frontera entre la infancia y la adolescencia, o incluso en ésta, la recuerdan como parte de aquel periodo, como quizá el último cuento de hadas que se tragaron sin sentirse ridículos o estúpidos. Lamentablemente, hay que echar mano de memoria y de nostalgia para que esas sensaciones negativas no se recuperen súbitamente ante un visionado del mismo film a edad ya madura. Pero dejando la puerta abierta a los recuerdos es posible que el espectador pueda reencontrarse con aquél que fue un día y que era capaz no sólo de ver cosas como ésta, sino de disfrutarlas.

Rob Reiner, director discreto (es autor de eso llamado El presidente y Miss Wade) con algunos notables puntos a su favor (Cuenta conmigo, Cuando Harry encontró a Sally, Algunos hombres buenos y, sobre todo, Misery), se encumbró a finales de los ochenta gracias a esta amable fábula de aventuras de capa y espada en un mundo mágico conectado con la realidad a través de la lectura que un abuelo (Peter Falk) hace a su nieto enfermo (Fred Savage, aquel niño imbécil de la serie Aquellos maravillosos años), de una historia contenida en uno de sus libros favoritos, con el fin de ayudarle a sobrellevar la convalecencia y apartarlo de los incipientes videojuegos. Esa historia entre leída e inventada (según el anciano percibe de reojo el interés creciente o decreciente del chaval en lo que le cuenta) que el abuelo va relatando al muchacho nos traslada el legendario reino de Florin, en el que gobierna el malvado tirano príncipe Humperdinck (Chris Sarandon) con ayuda del malévolo Vizzini (Wallace Shawn). Humperdinck, maloso que es, rapta a la bellísima Buttercup (tacita de mantequilla, interpretada por Robin Wright Penn mucho antes de ser Penn) para convertirla en su prometida, lo cual no gusta nada a la muchacha ni al campesino humilde del que estaba enamorada (Cary Elwes). Éste, con ayuda de un aventurero español, Íñigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) y de un gigante de manazas enormes (quien escribe siempre ha pensado las vueltas que podría dar la cabeza de cualquier mortal tras recibir un bofetón de semejante explanada llena de dedos) luchan contra los malos para rescatar a la joven y para que Íñigo logre vengar la muerte de su padre (“Hola. Mi nombre es Íñigo Montoya. Tu mataste a mi padre. Prepárate a morir.”).

Película de carácter indudablemente juvenil, destaca sobre la mayoría de los productos de su género por varias notas características que la diferencian favorablemente. En primer lugar, su estética colorista, dinámica, de hermosos paisajes, de escenografías de cartón piedra, de dirección artística al servicio de la fantasía con efectos especiales que van desde lo estimable (para 1987) a lo deliberadamente cutre, que hace que la cinta sea la traducción más acertada, incluso hasta la fecha, de los clásicos de dibujos animados de Disney al cine de carne y hueso. En segundo lugar, la música compuesta por Mark Knopfler, hoy en día un tanto anticuada por su producción demasiado ochentera, pero uno de los trabajos más recordados de su autor en solitario. En tercer lugar, la ironía: es una película que, como los buenos cuentos infantiles, consigue contar historias violentas y truculentas, sórdidos episodios de brujas y gigantes, de ogros y pérfidos y crueles príncipes, con un tono ligero, casual, en el que, en este caso, abunda el humor, tanto en la estrafalaria caracterización de algunos personajes, incluido el héroe, más bien atípico, como en la brillantez de ciertos diálogos, que pueden ofrecer a un tiempo frases lapidarias y gracietas de cierto mérito. A este respecto, conviene recordar que el guión es obra de William Goldman (autor igualmente de guiones como Harper, Dos hombres y un destino, El carnaval de las águilas, Todos los hombres del presidente, la propia Misery, Chaplin, Poder absoluto, El indomable Will Hunting o Corazones en Atlántida), y que adaptó su propia novela.

Pero sobre todo si destaca por algo esta película por encima de otras fábulas juveniles es por el amor al cine de aventuras que destila, a los tiempos de Douglas Fairbanks, Errol Flynn o Gene Kelly, a clásicos como Robín de los bosques, El zorro, El capitán Blood, El corsario negro o El pirata. Tanto la construcciòn de la historia, en particular de algunas secuencias, como las coreografías de los duelos a espada remiten directamente a aquel tiempo dorado del cine de aventuras, desconocido por supuesto para quienes en los ochenta eran (éramos) unos críos de la edad de Fred Savage. A ese gusto por el cine clásico de aventuras que rememora hay que añadir la defensa que supone del libro como concepto, como puerta abierta a la fantasía, como vehículo de ocio que tantos y tan buenos ratos puede ofrecer. Esta película, junto con otras del mismo estilo (sobre todo La historia interminable, sobre el libro de Michael Ende), ha hecho mucho por el acercamiento de buena parte de los jóvenes de los ochenta al mundo de los libros en un tiempo en que las maquinitas de botoncitos made in Japan avecinaban lo que iba a venir en décadas posteriores.

Nostalgia a raudales, humor, duelos a espada, acrobacias, sorpresas, peligros, criaturas extraordinarias, buena música, alguna que otra interpretación curiosa y/o aceptable (Billy Crystal, sobre todo, pero también Christopher Guest, Peter Cook o Carol Kane), fantasía, emoción, gente feliz que come perdices y malos que pagan sus fechorías: una vuelta a la infancia, a la ingenuidad, a la magia de los cuentos leídos a la luz de la mesita de noche por una voz cálida que nunca olvidaremos.

CLICK FOR TRAILER

What?

Harry and Sally meet when she gives him a ride to New York after they both graduate from the University of Chicago. The film jumps through their lives as they both search for love, but fail, bumping into each other time and time again. Finally a close friendship blooms between them, and they both like having a friend of the opposite sex. But then they are confronted with the problem: “Can a man and a woman be friends, without sex getting in the way?

Where?

At home.

With?

The dog.

Why?

Quite a simple answer really, I’ve never seen it. Time and time again it’s mentioned in TV countdown shows, best scenes in comedy history articles, not to mention the numerous parodies, yet I’d managed to miss it until today…

Worth It?

In a word…No. It started off okay but became another rich person whining movie, the gags are few and far between and rarely hit, THAT scene isn’t really all that great (but then, it has been diluted by numerous parodies) and really, I didn’t sympathise or hope that Harry and Sally would get together. I didn’t even hope they’d die. I just didn’t give a shit!

Bad times.

4/10

Not having heard of The Princess Bride – book or film – until last year, suddenly it was everywhere. I don’t know where I’d been hiding to miss the film twenty years ago, but I did. William Goldman’s novel, well I don’t know. The book turned up on my doorstep last summer, and it looked good. I was going to read it. Then I wasn’t, since I had no time. And then something – I forget what – made me read it anyway.

After that I heard of the film from just about everyone. My impression was that it wasn’t just a marvellous film, but it was better than the book. Maybe I got it wrong. We finally watched the film the other day, and it was really funny and entertaining, and reasonably well done from the book. But, I don’t happen to feel that it beats the book in any way.

The book is fantastic, with lots of humour and background that is lost in the film. On the other hand, the film still has some of the very funny lines from the book, which could easily have been got rid of. Quite good too, that many of the actors are, or were, less well known. It’s more fun to have minor actors, plus brief appearances by some more famous names.

Billy Crystal as an old man was good. Mel Smith and Peter Cook each have a small part. Peter Falk was very Peter Falk-ish, and even I recognised Robin Wright Penn. However, for all that the pirates and crooks looked familiar, I haven’t seen them in anything else.

Nice swashbuckler with humour, but I recommend the novel.

I am particularly excited for my New Release Tuesday post today. “Why?” you ask. “Is it because of the new Backstreet Boys CD or the Creed re-release?” Well, I can honestly so that it is not. It is however the first week of October which means the official beginning of the Christmas season for record labels and movie distributors, thus kicking off the nauseating three month frenzy of crap being dumped into the marketplace. Sweet!

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The Raveonettes – In and Out of Control

Emily Haines

For those unfamiliar, The Raveonettes are a brilliant band from Denmark by way of Brooklyn consisting of Sune Rose Wagner and Sharin Foo who I am in love with. Sharin shares a special place in my heart with Metric’s Emily Haines. I indeed have a weakness for waify non-American blonde indie rock chicks who play guitar. Anyway…on to the music.
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The Raveonettes’ last album Lust Lust Lust was my absolute favorite of 2008 and I’ve since been patiently anticipating its follow-up. Their music is like pre-Beatles pop songs recorded by the Velvet Underground and then covered by a Psychocandy era Jesus and Mary Chain who sent the tracks back to the future through a time warp to be mixed by a pre-felony/incarceration era Phil Spector. Helpful? After three attentive listens I’m prepared to say that In and Out of Control isn’t quite on par with Lust Lust Lust, but I didn’t expect it to be. The same seamless harmonies and efficient songwriting, just much less adventurous sonically.
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Here is their incredibly catchy new single “Last Dance”

Dead Man’s Bones – Dead Man’s Bones

Ryan Gosling

Two things can be expected from actors who become bored with acting and decide they want to be rock stars: A) Their album will suck. B) No matter how bad it sucks some label will take a gamble and release it. For this reason I was terrified upon hearing Ryan Gosling, one of my very favorite actors and man crush objects, started a band with his neighborhood’s hipster children’s choir and they were releasing an album. Initially I feared that best case scenario it would be dismissed as an indulgent novelty and forgotten before doing any permanent damage. Well, sorry I doubted you Ryan.
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I am relieved to say that after listening, my respect for Gosling as an artist has only deepened. Dead Man’s Bones can’t easily be summed with comparisons so I’ll just recommend listening to it. The best I can do is say that it’s eclectic, charming in a creepy sort of way and best experienced with a fake life-sized doll.

Hope Sandoval & the Warm Inventions – Through the Devil Softly

Best known as the former singer of mid 90’s shoegaze folk duo Mazzy Star whose song “Fade Into You” still finds its way onto soundtracks and TV shows. Hope could sing through a phone book and make it haunting and rich, (though I hope she never does because that would make for the worst album ever), and to me that’s why this album as a whole doesn’t grab me. Too much gets stripped down and cleared away to make room for her vocals and as a result sometimes the songs either run into one another or just don’t go anywhere. Through the Devil Softly was produced by former My Bloody Valentine guitarist Colm O’Coisoig who I wish would have brought some of his former band’s sonic adventure with him to this one. Click here for more good times secret

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Built to Spill – There is no Enemy

Indie-rock troubadours continue to make it work after 15 years. Nothing groundbreaking, just good vibrant pop-rock songs and giant beards.

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Noah & the Whale – The First Days of Spring

This British folk band’s name is a tribute to filmmaker Noah Baumbach and his wonderful 2005 film The Squid and the Whale which makes them instantly cool. Their sophomore album The First Days of Spring is a melancholy affair that seems to largely be about lead singer Charlie Fink and former member Laura Marling’s relationship. While it makes for a focused album it comes off as semi-pitiful when considering that 19 year old Laura’s album Alas, I Cannot Swim is quite good and seems to have nothing at all to do with him.

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Matthew Good – Vancouver

Well-crafted, emotive songs from veteran Canadian singer-songwriter.

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Brandi Carlisle – Give Up the Ghost

Produced by Rick Rubin, the mastermind behind Johnny Cash’s American recordings. Love her voice, like her songs as much as I need to.

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Air – Love 2

Sleepy and uninspired 5th album from the French electronica duo responsible for setting the moody sonic backdrop to Sofia Coppola’s debut film The Virgin Suicides.

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Clientele – Bonfires on the Heath

Well, this hazy, London indie rock band is nothing if not consistent. Sometimes predictability can work.

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DVD’s

Anvil: The Story of Anvil

The fact that I never heard of Anvil and that my only interest in 80’s hair metal is mocking its ridiculousness didn’t stop me from loving this documentary. The film was marketed as the “true to life” Spinal Tap which makes sense but at the same time trivializes the heart of the film. It is hilarious and equal time is spent laughing with them and at them but it’s also heartbreaking. At Anvil’s core is a story about disappointment and broken dreams and the relationships that sustain us. Director Rob Reiner does a great job delicately balancing humor and heart. You will find yourself cheering these guys on as they take one final stab at their dream. I Highly recommend!

Books

PostSecret: Confessions on Life, Death, and God

This book series is very meaningful to me so I’ll post about it at length in a couple days

“She is alive, or was an hour ago. If she is otherwise when I find her I shall be very put out.” ~~Prince Humperdinck

Giants and monsters and evil wayward kings, sword fights, gallant gentlmen on noble steeds, lovely damsels awaiting rescue, perfectly magical kisses and the prospect of love everlasting — it’s enough to put a person’s gag reflex to the ultimate test. But let not your esophagus revolt and your stomach turn, for “The Princess Bride” is not that sort of fairy tale. Not in the least. Oh, sure, Rob Reiner’s absurdly clever film about the courtship of Princess Buttercup (Robin Wright Penn) and lowly stablehand Westley (Cary Elwes) contains all these expected elements. But every single one of them gets a little tweak, a shot of sly wit that blasts off the dust and cobwebs of yore and makes “The Princess Bride” the kind of feisty creation that feels fresher and funnier with every viewing. 

So how, exactly, does this “Extreme Makeover: Fairy Tale Edition” play out? How can it enrapture and intrigue us in ways that don’t feel like a quirky rehash of “Cinderella”? For starters, there are the characters, who fill the standard roles but refuse to play to type. Princess Buttercup, though lovelorn, isn’t quite the garden-variety lady-in-distress. She’s got a mouth on her, a temper and a brain too — and she’s not shy about using them all. Westley’s neither a boorish Healthcliff nor a mindless Prince Charming. He’s more apt to shred his foes with ”you warhog-faced buffoon” than cry about lost love. There are sidekicks, but they do not serve merely as boring spacefillers; Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) and Fezzik (Andre the Giant) have enough issues to get Freud’s head spinning. And the villains, including Prince Humperdinck (Chris Sarandon) and Count Tyrone (Christopher Guest), spend as much time being droll – who but a perfect scoundrel could pull off “please consider me as an alternative to suicide”? – as they do plotting evil deeds. Everyone who shows up in “The Princess Bride” has a distinctive personality that’s just a shade left of center, just enough to subvert our expectations.

Based on William Goldman’s equally fantastic book, the story itself, though, supplies intrigue aplenty. “The Princess Bride” employs that story-within-a-story method, with a wiseacre grandfather (Peter Falk) reading to his sick young grandson (Fred Savage), who’s really worried there will be too much smooching and not enough sword fights. There’s plenty of both in the tale Grandpa reads, an entertaining yarn about Westley and Buttercup, lovers separated by his quest to seek fortune on the seas. Prince Humperdinck takes the heartbroken Buttercup as his bride-to-be (he has his own motives, and all of them are unsavory), but there are hiccups in the sneaky prince’s plot, not least of which is Buttercup’s kidnapping by Inigo, Fezzik and their shrill employer Vizzini (Wallace Shawn) and the appearance of the mysterious Man in Black/Dread Pirate Roberts. Throw in an impending mawwage*, a life-sucking torture machine and a miracle man (Billy Crystal) with the power to rise the Nearly Dead, and you’ve got yourself a story so interwoven in its complexity that it makes “Syriana” seem like “Son-in-Law.”

By now we’ve covered what catapults “The Princess Bride” leaps and bounds above other fairy tales. Wa-hoo. But why does this movie deserve a place on our shelves and in our hearts? There’s no easy answer to that question. The script is full of piquant wit and infinitely quotable quips like “I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder” and “You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.” Maybe it’s because the likes of Patinkin’s damaged but resilient Inigo Montoya, set on avenging his father’s death, and Fezzik, a sad pariah plucked for a dreadful life of unemployment in Greenland, feel sweetly and surprisingly real to us. Or perhaps we return to “The Princess Bride” again and again because there’s some deep, primal, frightfully uncynical part of us that wants to believe in the happy ending, the world in balance, the magic.

And if there are a few Rodents of Unusual Size thrown in? Well, that just sweetens the deal.

*It’s what brings us togevuh today.

Lataa Ohjelma (MP3)

Musiikkielokuvan pariin sukellamme taas genren ehdottomien ykköskulttisuosikkien parissa. Luvassa nimittäin The Blues Brothers vuodelta 1980 ja This Is Spinal Tap vuodelta 1982. Musiikkijaksojen jo tuttuun tyyliin paneelia täydentää MusiikkiViikon Erkki Mervaala.

Linkit:
The Blues Brothers (Wikipedia)
The Blues Brothers (IMDb)
This Is Spinal Tap (Wikipedia)
This Is Spinal Tap (IMDb)

Remember the Fire Swamp from The Princess Bride?

No?

Fiction, right?

Not anymore.

Mother Nature, who is apparently a Rob Reiner fan, has invented new species as an homage to The Princess Bride’s ROUS’s, Rodents of Unusual Size.  And not to be outdone, she threw in Vampire Frogs (tip o’ the hat to Twilight and True Blood, perhaps?).

Check it out for yourself: CLICK ME!

Inigo Montoya and Westley fence on the Cliffs of Insanity in "The Princess Bride".

(Rob Reiner, 1987)

September 10, 2009

by Joel Crary

“The Princess Bride” started a curious tendency of mine to hold my breath at certain points in movies when characters are deprived of oxygen. Buttercup (Robin Wright Penn) accidentally steps into a patch of lightning sand in the Fire Swamp and disappears for about 40 seconds. I can’t remember the last time I watched this scene while inhaling and exhaling normally. When Westley (Cary Elwes) emerges from the sand with Buttercup clinging to his neck, I gasp for air along with them as they roll about in dirt and ash on the forest floor, coughing their lungs out, trying to shake the horror loose.

“The Princess Bride” was among the first DVDs I owned after my parents gave me a DVD player as a graduation present. Though the transfer of the original MGM release has its issues, there was no contest in the quality of the film versus the old VHS copy my family had taped from the First Choice movie network in the late 1980’s. I count it among my early exposure to the benefits of viewing films at their original theatrical aspect ratios rather than the standard framing of films for television screens. It’s a movie I adored as a kid. I’ve seen it so many times, I now spend as much time with a direct eye on the sets and locales as I do on the characters.

It contains one of my favourite film scenes of all time, in which Westley goes sword to sword against hired Spaniard Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin). Everything about this scene works perfectly – the rocky terrain, the back-and-forth rhythm of the duel in both swordplay and language, the painted sunset backdrops that take just enough reality out of the scene without making it seem overly cartoonish or surreal. The way that Patinkin instantly brings his character to life in the imagination with a measured and humble monologue, detailing how his father was slaughtered by a six-fingered man. If Westley were this man, Inigo’s seething anger would bring an apocalyptic tone to their duel; as he is not, the two men battle while quibbling humourously over whose technique is superior.

This is counterbalanced with Inigo’s final confrontation with Count Tyrone Rugen, played by Christopher Guest, known more recently for his directing prowess rather than his vastly underrated abilities as a character actor. Here, he channels Vincent Price yet leaves even that figure’s few traces of humanity at the portcullis. Their duel is as brutal as the earlier is skillful. We see the blades enter the men, the blood pooling onto their clothing from the open wounds. Deranged with pain and frustration, Inigo utters what has now become a classic phrase, a mantra that has kept him from drinking himself to death over his greatest moment of loss: “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” We see his face jerk slightly as the blade makes its final plunge. Justice has been served.

My experiences as a fascinated watcher of this film go back a long way. I still remember lines my mother laughed at on early viewings, more often than not delivered by the egocentric and verbose Vizzini. He’s played by Wallace Shawn, who doesn’t need a lot of makeup to fit this world. Nor does Fezzik, the towering man mountain played by former WWF wrestler Andre the Giant. These actors are recognizably left of center in a child’s eyes, contributing to the fantasy in a way that special effects can’t.

Descriptions of the film point at its status as a storybook story, a fairy tale with a twist of sharp postmodern humour. It’s based on the book by William Goldman, who also wrote the screenplay and whose work as a screenwriter has seen him awarded Oscars for films such as “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” and “All the President’s Men”. His story is wholly original, told with a zest for putting recognizable character types (the princess, the hero, the freak, etc.) into one death-defying situation after the next. Director Rob Reiner keeps everything at a very contained octave, never relying too greatly on effects wizardry. There is not a single identifiable shot of the characters swashbuckling in front of a blue screen, a technique that so many other films of the period opted for.

Everything is played out in breathtaking locales and inventive sound stage constructs. The first half of the narrative flows symphonically thanks to the set of goals put in place by Westley’s quest. Buttercup is kidnapped, a masked man dressed in black tracks down the kidnappers, battles them one by one and each in a unique way, rescues Buttercup and eludes Prince Humperdinck (Chris Sarandon) and his men until they are finally caught upon exiting the Fire Swamp. Over the course of these events, Westley’s true identity is revealed, though even a child would understand that the masked man pursuing Buttercup is the only man she’ll ever love.

Fairy tales are like that. However, fairy tales rarely jump their own tracks as often as “The Princess Bride” does. When the albino hisses at Westley in the Pit of Despair, we don’t expect him to cough and reveal a matter-of-fact tone to his voice, obstructed by phlegm – natural to an adult’s perception of such a creature, but unexpected considering the shine the movie takes to a child’s imagination. The film is full of moments such as this, pulling us away from the fantastic when it becomes a little too “out there”, grounding the situations with humour so that an adult can’t possibly complain about the lack of realism.

As a kid, I recognized that humour, too. The film brought me to realize how unlike life a story can be, yet how fantastic a story can make life seem. Goldman keeps returning to the little boy (Fred Savage) listening to his grandfather (Peter Falk) tell the story. The boy’s vocal observations break up the parts he dislikes, creating the impression that the parts that proceed without interruption have him grabbing the sheets in amazement. “The Princess Bride” believes that our imaginations remain fertile ground for wonder in spite of the distractions of cynicism later on in life. Not a bad belief to keep around.

Muchos de vosotros sabréis que me gustan mucho los falsos documentales y por ello me animé a dar una pequeña charla en el ciclo de cine de verano Aburridos acerca de este subgénero cinematográfico. He decidido plasmar aquí lo que más o menos preparé para la ocasión porque me parece interesante y así evito que se me olvide, espero que os guste:

1. DEFINICIÓN
El falso documental es un subgénero cinematográfico que, siendo puramente ficticio, utiliza las estructuras y los recursos del documental para parecer verosímil o incluso real. El género en el que se encuadra es la comedia, y no porque el falso documental tenga que ser necesariamente humorístico, si no más bien porque es una mofa o burla. ¿De qué se mofa? Pues principalmente de dos cuestiones: por un lado, se mofa del documental tradicional, tan anquilosado e inamovible y que tantas siestas nos ha ayudado a echar.  Por otro lado se ríe de la sociedad actual, tan escéptica con los medios de comunicación (y no sin razón).
De este modo el falso documental se construye cogiendo una historia hilarante e imprimiéndole el mayor grado de verosimilitud posible, de modo que su credibilidad se pueda poner en duda y se cree un juego de complicidad con el espectador. Hay falsos documentales tan reales que hay gente que todavía piensa que son reales , como Operación Luna, que sostenía que Kubrick había dirigido el montaje de la llegada a la luna de los americanos.

2. HISTORIA
2.1 Pioneros
Aun sin pretenderlo, los grandes pioneros del falso documental fueron:

-Frederick Cook: Frederick Cook fue un explorador estadounidense que durante toda su vida defendió que llegó al Polo Norte un año antes de que lo consiguiera el que los historiadores consideran que fue el primero que logró tal hazaña, Robert Peary. Para demostrarlo creo una reconstrucción de su supuesto viaje que puede considerarse el primer falso documental de la historia (The Truth About the Pole, 1912).  (Nota: por si tenéis curiosidad, podéis descargarla aquí)

-Orson Welles: Supongo que todos conocerán la historia de lo que ocurrió en Estados Unidos cuando Orson Welles representó, vía radiofónica, un fragmento de La Guerra de los Mundos (en 1938). Más de un millón de radioaficionados creyeron que realmente los alienígenas habían conquistado la tierra y Estados Unidos fue presa del pánico durante las horas posteriores. Welles demostró así el poder de persuasión de los medios y la credibilidad que podía llegar a tener una historia de ficción si se utilizaba correctamente.

2.2 Evolución y actualidad
Si bien hay muchas obras anteriores a los 80 que pueden considerarse falsos documentales, como las obras de Peter Watkins, el falso documental no se consolida como subgénero hasta mediados de esta década. En estas fechas es también cuando se bautiza al género como mockumentary (mock=broma). El término lo utiliza por primera vez Rob Reiner para referirse a su película This Is Spinal Tap, un falso documental sobre una banda de rock al que nos referiremos posteriormente. A partir de este momento empiezan a surgir gran cantidad de obras de este subgénero que si bien nunca han gozado de una gran cantidad de público, en la actualidad está popularizándose gracias a películas más comerciales como Borat y Bruno de Sacha Baron Cohen o la recién estrenada en Estados Unidos District 9 (se estrena en nuestro país este viernes 11 de septiembre), producida por Peter Jackson.

(En la próxima entrega:  “Mockumentaries: clasificación”)

Foto: André Smirnoff

Um baterista: Neil Peart.
Outras influências: John Bonham, Rob Reiner ( Anvil ), Charlie Benante etc etc.
Disco de cabeceira: Ramones, “Acid Eaters” (no momento).
Hit da semana: “Luta” , recém gravada pelo Metalmorphose (hit pra mim , né? hehe).
Banda de coração: Frank Zappa (solo) e com os Mothers of Invention.
Melhor banda de todos os tempos da última semana: Deathchain (thrash /death finlandês – conheci agora).
Time do coração: Heavy Metal.Mas se tiver que torcer pra alguém , que seja para o meu sofrido Vasco da Gama.

Three articles I wanted to note from today and yesterday.  The first is a New York Times piece on Ted Olson and what brings him to buck his party and take his challenge with David Boies to the Supreme Court (hint: Rob Reiner played a part).  Also, the Portland Press Herald broke tradition yesterday and rather than taking one position, ran two different editorials from the editorial board–one in support and one in opposition of marriage equality.

“I think that the problem may have been that there was a Stone’enge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf…”

Even after a quarter of a century, Rob Reiner’s 1984 spoof documentary – the, if you will, ‘rockumentary’ – This Is Spinal Tap remains the pinnacle of the ‘mockumetary‘ art form.

Christopher Guest, who played intellectually-challenged Nigel Tufnel in the film, and many of his Tap co-stars - including Harry Shearer, who played bassist Derek Smalls and Michael McKean, who played singer David St Hubbins -  have continued to explore the genre, with great success, in films such as Waiting For Guffman, Best In Show and A Mighty Wind.

But really, This Is Spinal Tap is so perfect, so beautifully well observed and so authentically preposterous, yet true to the subject matter it is sending up, it is hard to imagine any mock-doc ever surpassing it.

It’s hard to choose just one scene to present as the best of the film – there are dozens to choose from, some lasting just seconds. And, in fact, if you have the DVD, there are over an hour of excellent deleted scenes that are better than anything that makes the cut in many Hollywood comedies.

However, I’m going to go with the Stonehenge scene. It’s so brilliant, so funny and so memorable that I can no longer hear anyone mention Stonehenge or see a reference to it in print without saying “Stone’enj” out loud in a Nigel Tufnel-style mock-cockney accent.

Enjoy!

Hey. Asshole.

I gotcher nose. I gotcher money honey. You are worthless. Truly worthless. Wanna know why? Cause I said so. You were over valued on the H Wood market and I cut you down to size. Your boys cain’t hep you now, you sorry ass sumbitch. Wanna know why yer boys cain’t hep you? Cause I got the girls. We gots the money we gots the power an we gon do what we got to do. Allow me to quote my best friend:

The day the devil comes to getcha
You know him by the way he smiles
The day the devil comes to getcha
He’s a rusty truck with only twenty miles
He’s got bad brakes he’s got loose teeth
He’s a long way from home

The day the devil comes to getcha
He’s got a smile like a scar
He knows the way to your house

The day the devil comes to getcha
You know him by the way he smiles
The day the devil comes to getcha
He’s a rusty truck with only twenty miles
He’s got bad brakes he’s got loose teeth
He’s a long way from home

The day the devil comes to getcha
He’s got a smile like a scar
He knows the way to your house
He’s got the keys to your car
And when he sells you his sportcoat
You say:  Funny!  That’s my size!
Attention shoppers!
Everybody please rise!

Give me back my innocence
Get me a brand new suit
Give me back my innocence
Oh Lord!  Cut me down to size!

Well you can hide under the porch
And you can hide behind the couch
But the day the devil comes to getcha
He’s right on time
Here he comes

Well I’m sick of hearin bout your problems
Yeah girlie you’re breakin my heart
I’m the original party animal
Hey!  Hey!  Babaloo
So don’t come bangin your Bibles
Cause you’ve been laughin
All the way to the bank
And don’t give me those crocodile tears
Cause you’ve been doing it for years
I’m everywhere!  Sign right here!
Mr. Jones!

The day the devil comes to getcha
He’s a long way from home
And you know he’s gonna getcha
Cause you’re stuck in the middle
Everybody please rise!

Give me back my innocence
Get me a brand new suit
Give me back my innocence
Oh Lord!  Cut me down to size!

Give me back my innocence
Get me a new Cadillac
Cause when I get on up to heaven Lord
You can have it all back
Cause in heaven you get it all back
In heaven it all comes back
Cause in heaven you get it all back
In heaven Cause in heaven In heaven

You are such a pussy. So unbelievably weak. It’s a pity eugenics is a defunct American healthcare policy as you deserve eradication. Lit. er. al. ly.

The Three Musketeers (1973)-Richard Lester

The Four Musketeers (1974)-Richard Lester

8 1/2 (1963)-Federico Fellini

The Ten Commandments (1956)-Cecil B. DeMille

12 Angry Men (1957)-Sidney Lumet

The 39 Steps (1935)-Alfred Hitchcock

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)-Stanley Kubrick

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954)-Richard Fleischer

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)-Charles Barton

The Adventures of Prince Achmed (1926)-Lotte Reiniger

The African Queen (1951)-John Huston

Alien (1979)-Ridley Scott

All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)-Lewis Milestone

All the President’s Men (1976)-Alan J. Pakula

Amadeus (1984)-Milos Forman

American Movie (1999)-Chris Smith

Amores Perros (2000)- Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu

And the Fifth Horseman is Fear (1965)-Zbynek Byrnych

Andrei Rublev (1966)-Andrei Tarkovsky

Animal Crackers (1930)-Victor Heerman

Annie Hall (1977)-Woody Allen

The Apartment (1960)-Billy Wilder

Apocalypse Now (1979)-Francis Ford Coppola

Around the World in 80 Days (1956)-Michael Anderson

Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)-Frank Capra

Babe (1995)-Chris Noonan

Bad Day at Black Rock (1955)-John Sturges

The Bank Dick (1940)-Edward F. Cline

The Battle of Algiers (1966)-Gillo Pontecorvo

The Battleship Potemkin (1925)-Sergei Eisenstein

Beauty and the Beast (1991)-Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise

Before Sunrise (1995)-Richard Linklater

Being There (1979)-Hal Ashby

The Bicycle Thief (1948)-Vittorio de Sica

The Birds (1963)-Alfred Hitchcock

Blade Runner (1982)-Ridley Scott

Born Into Brothels: Calcutta’s Red Light Kids (2005)-Zana Briski and Ross Kauffman

The Blues Brothers (1980)-John Landis

Brazil (1985)-Terry Gilliam

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)-George Roy Hill

The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)-James Whale

The Bridge On the River Kwai (1957)-David Lean

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)-Robert Wiene

Caddyshack (1980)-Harold Ramis

Casablanca (1942)-Michael Curtiz

Chinatown (1974)-Roman Polanski

Cinema Paradiso (1988)-Giuseppe Tornatore

Citizen Kane (1941)-Orson Welles

City Lights (1931)-Charlie Chaplin

City of God (2002)-Fernando Meirelles and Katia Lund

Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)-Steven Spielberg

Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)-Woody Allen

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000)-Ang Lee

Das Boot (1981)-Wolfgang Petersen

The Deer Hunter (1978)-Michael Cimino

The Defiant Ones (1958)-Stanley Kramer

Dersu Uzala (1975)-Akira Kurosawa

The Devils (1971)-Ken Russell

Les Diaboliques (1955)-Henri-Georges Clouzot

The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972)-Luis Bunuel

Do the Right Thing (1989)-Spike Lee

Dog Day Afternoon (1975)-Sidney Lumet

Dracula (1931)-Tod Browning

Dr. Strangelove Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)-Stanley Kubrick

Duck Soup (1933)-Leo McCarey

Dumbo (1941)-Ben Sharpsteen

Eaux d’artifice (1953)-Kenneth Anger

The Elephant Man (1980)-David Lynch

Ed Wood (1994)-Tim Burton

E. T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)-Steven Spielberg

Evil Dead II (1987)-Sam Raimi

The Exorcist (1973)-William Friedkin

Fanny and Alexander (1982)-Ingmar Bergman

Fantasia (1940)-Walt Disney (producer)

Fargo (1996)-Joel and Ethan Coen

Fiddler on the Roof (1971)-Norman Jewison

A Fish Called Wanda (1988)-Charles Crichton and John Cleese

Fitzcarraldo (1982)-Werner Herzog

Forbidden Planet (1956)-Fred M. Wilcox

Frankenstein (1931)-James Whale

Freaks (1932)-Tod Browning

The French Connection (1971)-William Friedkin

Gandhi (1982)-Sir Richard Attenborough

The General (1927)-Clyde Bruckman and Buster Keaton

Ghostbusters (1984)-Ivan Reitman

Glory (1989)-Edward Zwick

The Godfather I and II (1972)-Francis Ford Coppola

The Gold Rush (1925)-Charlie Chaplin

Gone With the Wind (1939)-Victor Fleming, George Cukor, Sam Wood

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1966)-Sergio Leone

Goodfellas (1990)-Martin Scorsese

The Graduate (1967)-Mike Nichols

Grave of the Fierflies (1988)-Isao Takahata

The Great Dictator (1940)-Charlie Chaplin

The Great Escape (1963)-John Sturges

The Guns of Navarone (1961)-J. Lee Thompson

A Hard Day’s Night (1964)-Richard Lester

Harold and Maude (1971)-Hal Asby

Harvey (1950)-Henry Koster

Hell in the Pacific (1968)-John Boorman

High Noon (1952)-Fred Zinnemann

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)-Chuck Jones and Ben Washam

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939)-William Dieterle

The Hunt for Red October (1990)-John McTiernan

In the Heat of the Night (1967)-Norman Jewison

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)-Frank Capra

Ivan’s Childhood (1962)-Andrei Tarkovsky

Jaws (1975)-Steven Spielberg

Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)-Stanley Kramer

The Kid (1921)-Charlie Chaplin

To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)-Robert Mulligan

Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)-Robert Hamer

King Kong (1933)-Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Shoedsack

Lady and the Tramp (1955)-Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson, and Hamilton Luske

Lawrence of Arabia (1962)-David Lean

The Lost World (1925)-Harry O. Hoyt

Patton (1970)-Franklin J. Schaffner

The Maltese Falcon (1941)-John Huston

Man With A Movie Camera (1929)-Dziga Vertov

Manchurian Candidate (1962)-John Frankenheimer

Manhattan (1979)-Woody Allen

Mary Poppins (1964)-Robert Stevenson

Memento (2000)-Christopher Nolan

Metropolis (1927)-Fritz Lang

The Miracle Worker (1962)-Arthur Penn

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)-Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)-Frank Capra

The Muppet Movie (1979)-James Frawley

The Music Man (1962)-Morton DeCosta

My Fair Lady (1964)-George Cukor

Network (1976)-Sidney Lumet

A Night at the Opera (1935)-Sam Wood

The Night of the Living Dead (1968)-George Romero

North By Northwest (1959)-Alfred Hitchcock

Nosferatu (1922)-F. W. Murnau

Oldboy (2003)-Chan-wook Park

On the Waterfront (1954)-Elia Kazan

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)-Milos Forman

Ordet (1955)-Carl Theodor Dreyer

Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)-Guillermo del Toro

The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928)-Carl Theodor Dreyer

Paths of Glory (1975)-Stanley Kubrick

The Phantom of the Opera (1925)-Rupert Julian

Planet of the Apes (1968)-Franklin J. Schaffner

The Princess Bride (1987)-Rob Reiner

Psycho (1960)-Alfred Hitchcock

Pulp Fiction (1994)-Quenton Tarantino

The Quiet Duel (1949)-Akira Kurosawa

The Quiet Man (1952)-John Ford

Raging Bull (1980)-Martin Scorsese

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)-Steven Spielberg

Rain Man (1988)-Barry Levinson

Ran (1985)-Akira Kurosawa

Rashomon (1950)-Akira Kurosawa

Rear Window (1954)-Alfred Hitchcock

Rocky (1976)-John G. Alvidsen

Rosemary’s Baby (1968)-Roman Polanski

Rushmore (1998)-Wes Anderson

Safety Last! (1923)-Fred C. Newmeyer and SamTaylor

The Saragossa Manuscript (1965)-Wojciech Has

Schindler’s List (1993)-Steven Spielberg

Scrooge (1951)-Brian Desmond Hurst

Serpico (1973)-Sidney Lumet

Seven Samurai (1954)-Akira Kurosawa

The Seventh Seal (1957)-Ingmar Bergman

Sherlock, Jr. (1924)-Buster Keaton

The Shining (1980)-Stanley Kubrick

Silence of the Lambs (1991)-Jonathan Demme

Singin’ in the Rain (1952)-Stanley Donen and Gene Kelly

Sleeping Beauty (1959)-Clyde Geronimi

Some Like It Hot (1959)-Billy Wilder

The Sound of Music (1965)-Robert Wise

Spartacus (1960)-Stanley Kubrick

Spirited Away (2001)-Hayao Miyazaki

Stalag 17 (1953)-Billy Wilder

Stalker (1979)-Andrei Tarkovsky

Star Wars (1977)-George Lucas

The Sting (1973)-George Roy Hill

Sunset Blvd. (1950)-Billy Wilder

Taxi Driver (1976)-Martin Scorsese

The Thief of Bagdad (1940)-Michael Powell, Ludwig Berger, Tim Whelan, Alexander Korda, Zoltan Korda, William Cameron Menzies

The Third Man (1949)-Carol Reed

This Is Spinal Tap (1984)-Rob Reiner

Tokyo Story (1953)-Yasujiro Ozu

Tootsie (1982)-Sydney Pollack

Toy Story (1995)-John Lasseter

Trading Places (1983)-John Landis

A Trip to the Moon (1902)-Georges Melies

Ugetsu (1953)-Kenji Mizoguchi

Unforgiven (1992)-Clint Eastwood

The Verdict (1982)-Sidney Lumet

Vertigo (1958)-Alfred Hitchcock

The Virgin Spring (1960)-Ingmar Bergman

Viva Zapata! (1952)-Elia Kazan

WALL-E (2008)-Andrew Stanton

Waiting For Guffman (1996)-Christopher Guest

Watership Down (1978)-Martin Rosen

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)-Robert Zemeckis

The Wild Bunch (1969)-Sam Peckinpah

Wild Strawberries (1957)-Ingmar Bergman

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)-Mel Stuart

Wings of Desire (1985)-Wim Wenders

Witness for the Prosecution (1957)-Billy Wilder

The Wizard of Oz (1939)-Victor Fleming, Mervyn LeRoy, and King Vidor

The Wolf Man (1941)-George Waggner

The Wrestler (2008)-Darren Aronofsky

Young Frankenstein (1974)-Mel Brooks

Z (1969)-Costa Gravas

Zorba the Greek (1964)-Mihalis Kakagiannis

P. S. This list is naturally subject to be added to