This is one movie that is loaded with stars such as Adam Sandler, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Chris Rock, Kevin James, Gary Busey, Salma Hayek and more. In this movie, a group of kids that were best friends all went there separate ways. Thirty years later they all see each other for the first time since school at a fourth of July weekend. They try doing everything they did as kids but in this comedy it shows its not always easy being a kid… when your a grown up.
Release Date: June 25, 2010
Sony Pictures Grown Ups

Getty Images

The Hollywood celebs have begun to roll into town for the Super Bowl.  Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Kevin James dropped by to talk with Felger & Mazz about the Yankees/Red Sox and dodging Snoop Dogg questions.

I really enjoy the fact that when I put Elvis in a garbage can or cut a donkey in half at work, I can share it on this site. Since I’ve done a lot of things like that before I started this blog, I figured I’d grab a bunch of them and share anyway. I have a collection of still images that I made to illustrate a weird point, and a little highlight video of different animations I did with those illustrations.

If you are left wondering why the heck I would need to do any of this, take a while to watch some episodes of “At My Desk” with Tim Cain.

This seems like a good one to start with. Tim with a basket of Jessicas on his desk.

Tim always wanted to earn a gold record, so I cheated and made one myself. I wanted to do "Gangsta Rap Legend" but he insisted on Power Pop.

Tim accidentally implied the Beatles were an obscure band, so I was a jerk and made this magazine cover.

A group of crows is referred to as a murder.

A group of clams is called a "bed of clams"

A "caravan" of camels

I don't know why a group of toads is called a knot, but it is.

Tim didn't know why a group of cats was called a "chowder". That's because it's called a "clowder".

To be honest, I don't remember why I put myself, Tim Cain, and co-worker Adam Casner in the set of Jeopardy.

The Mt. Rushmore of stand-up comedy. More like Mt. YUK-more... Aaaaand I'm ashamed.

Why is this in the group of over-Photoshopped pictures? Because we only had one award, so I had to merge a few shots to get this one. Fun times.

What I imagine when I'm told Oprah will have her own network.

When Matt Damon was coming to Decatur to film "The Informant", I made this rip-off of the "Bourne Identity" poster. We actually used this on our site also.

This is a bit of a reverse of the last photo, with his "Informant" head on his "Bourne" body.

I can't remember why I needed to do this but, trust me, it had to be done.

What I assume Tim is doing when he isn't at the office

Tim said "At least I'm not as old as a house", and I proved it, literally.

As you hopefully saw in the video, we did a Beatles puppet show. Here is a remake of a famous Rolling Stone cover.

We dedicated an episode to the White Album, so I changed the title screen.

You have to see the video to understand this one, but it's a scene from "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle" when Rebecca De Mornay is impaled on a fence.

For this video, Tim wonders what magazines he could make the cover of. I do my best.

This one may not even be 'shopped...

Low-res, but you get the idea...

We actually did a special photo shoot for this one. I don't think he knew why he had to sit with the vase.

This is my all-time favorite. Tim HATES Rob Schneider, so I toss him in as often as I can.

Por Clara Jiménez Cruz

Estamos ya en febrero e inevitablemente ha llegado la temporada de hablar de premios, pero yo este año he decidido prescindir de las candidaturas a los Goya, que ya comentamos en su día en el programa, y de los Oscars,  ya que estoy segura que mis compañeros hablarán de ellos en el programa de este fin de semana y harán la habitual porra que luego nunca nadie gana y hace que todos nos quedemos sin la prometida cena. Yo, este año, voy a hablaros de los Razzies.

Los Razzies son los premios que entrega la  Golden Raspberry Award Foundation (que viene a ser algo así como la Fundación de Premios de la Frambuesa Dorada) a las peores películas, actuaciones, guiones y direcciones del año; lo cual los convierte en unos premios muchas veces más interesantes que los Oscars, porque al menos nos arrancan una carcajada recordando algunos de los estrenos. Además, este año vienen por partida doble, ya que al ser la trigésima edión de los mismos no sólo van a premiar lo pero del año, ¡sino también lo peor de la década! Pero vamos por partes…
En el año 2009 se hicieron muchas buenas películas, como se puede apreciar en las 10 nominaciones a mejor película de los Oscars de este año (si es que eso puede ser un parámetro de calidad), pero también se invirtió mucho dinero en hacer películas malas y que por tanto han sido nominadas a peor película del año por los académicos de la frambuesa, a destacar títulos como G.I. Joe o Transformers 2. Entre los peores actores del año cuantan por descontado con el puesto los tres Jonas Brothers así como John Travolta por su actuación estelar en Dos Canguros muy Maduros; aunque la categoría femenina no tiene desperdicio con nombres como Sandra Bullock en su supuesto intento de hacer un papel serio en una comedia…debió de confundir el género, Sarah Jessica Parker de testigo protegido o Beyoncé en su lucha contra una maniaca sexual rubia. En fin, todo tesoros.

Pero para tesoros lo que descubrimos al echarle un ojo a las categorías de lo peor de la década: es empezar y no parar. ¿Recuerdan aquella horrible película del año 2000 llamada Campo de Batalla: La Tierra en la que John Travolta interpreta a un extraterreste que invade la Tierra (ya lo dice el títutlo)? Pues aunque en su día ya gano 8 Razzies, esta década se enfrenta al de peor película y su protagonista al de peor actor. Es tan mala, que ni siquiera he encontrado un video en internet para poder enseñárselo… Pero bueno, no se crean que el resto se van de rositas: Ben Affleck, Eddie Murphy, Rob Schneider también están en la lista. Y entre las féminas reinan las cantantes y las celebrities: Madonna, Jennifer López, Mariah Carey, Paris Hilton y Lindsay Lohan se disputan el único premio que nadie quiere recibir. Parece que lo que lo que quieren dejar claro es que las cantantes, que canten, y las celebrities, que hagan lo que se supone que ‘hacen’ y que dejen actuar a los profesionales. Pero si por algo se caracterizan los Razzies es por ser los premios que nadie va nunca a recoger, aunque igual este año María Carey se toma un par de copas y se anima a presentarse…

Bromas aparte, los Razzies son unos premios que en mi opinión no le vienen nada mal al cine, y tampoco a los espectadores, porque además, para poder votar no hace falta haber ganada uno como en los Oscars, si no que basta con pagar una cuota anual para poder organizarlos y nos da derecho a elegir la peor película del año. ¿Se animan?

Para ver la lista completa de los nominados a los Razzies, aquí.

2010 Razzie Nominations

One of the least anticipated awards shows in Hollywood, the “Razzie Awards,” released their list of nominees this year for the best of the worst. “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” and Will Ferrell’s box-office dud “Land of the Lost” are tied for the lead among Razzie nominees for the year’s worst movies. Both movies scored seven nominations each, including worst picture. Other films in that category include Sandra Bullock’s “All About Steve,” action movie “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” and the Robin Williams & John Travolta buddy pic “Old Dogs.” Bullock also earned a worst-actress nomination for “Steve,” along with Miley Cyrus for “Hannah Montana: The Movie.”

According to the official Razzie Awards web site, nominees are determined by more than 725 film professionals, film journalists and film fans from around the U.S. and 15 foreign countries. The winners will be announced at a ceremony at Hollywood’s Barnsdall Gallery Theatre, on the traditional night before the Oscars – Saturday, March 6.

Full list of nominations for the 2010 Razzie Awards:

Worst Picture:
All About Steve
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Land of the Lost
Old Dogs
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Worst Actor:
Kevin, Joe and Nick Jonas, Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience
Will Ferrell, Land of the Lost
Steve Martin, Pink Panther 2
Eddie Murphy, Imagine That
John Travolta, Old Dogs

Worst Actress:
Beyonce Knowles, Obsessed
Sandra Bullock, All About Steve
Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie
Megan Fox, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Sarah Jessica Parker, Did You Hear About The Morgans?

Worst Screen Couple:
Kevin, Joe and Nick Jonas, Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience
Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper, All About Steve
Will Ferrell and any co-star, creature or “comic riff”, Land of the Lost
Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox of any Transformer, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson or Taylor Lautner, New Moon

Worst Supporting Actress:
Candice Bergen, Bride Wars
Ali Larter, Obsessed
Sienna Miller, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Kelly Preston, Old Dogs
Julie White, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Worst Supporting Actor:
Billy Ray Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie
Hugh Hefner, Miss March
Robert Pattinson, New Moon
Jorma Taccone, Land of the Lost
Marlon Wayans, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Worst remake, rip-off or sequel:
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Land of the Lost
Pink Panther 2
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
New Moon

Worst Director:
Michael Bay, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Walt Beeker, Old Dogs
Brad Silberling, Land of the Lost
Stephen Sommers, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Phil Traill, All About Steve

Worst Screenplay:
All About Steve
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Land of the Lost
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
New Moon

Worst Picture of the Decade:
Battlefield Earth
Freddy Got Fingered
Gigli
I Know Who Killed Me
Swept Away

Worst Actor of the Decade:
Ben Affleck
Eddie Murphy
Mike Myers
Rob Schneider
John Travolta

Worst Actress of the Decade:
Mariah Carey
Paris Hilton
Lindsay Lohan
Jennifer Lopez
Madonna

It’s only fair to talk about another awards ceremony at this time of year, one which has managed to maintain its staunch anti-commercial stance and has never sacrificed its history to allow higher-grossing films into its top categories. This is partly because the films which tend to get given Razzies are often seen by millions of foolish people, a pattern which dictates future movie release schedules and therefore repeats the feat, making more bad movies which more people see and therefore perpetuating the need for the Razzies.

This year’s bunch, in full here, are particularly righteous, with Land of the Lost and Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen leading the ignominious. So, a few bulleted thoughts on the nominations:

• Sandra Bullock ‘does and Eddie Murphy’ and gets nods for Best Actress at both The Oscars and The Razzies. She gets it here for All About Steve, a film which I have not seen but is purportedly so awful as to have made some member of the MOD’s extended family spew expletives beyond the recognition of well-bred English-speaking people. Whether this nod will hurt her chances for winning for The Blind Side, as I would suggest Norbit did for Murphy when he got his Dreamgirls nod, remains to be seen.
• Nice barbed stab at The Jonas Brothers as Worst Actors. A band which appears to be attempting to disseminate abstinence-only teachings to your children, a tactic which will only end in massive number of underage pregnancies amongst fans of the stupifyingly pointless band, deserve to be kicked, beaten and knocked down at every possible point.
• Shia LeBoeuf and Megan Fox for Worst Couple is perfect. The entire pair of those films looks as though he is frightened to touch her for fear of having his hands smeared in sweat-ravaged fake tan or the germs of other men. Her nod for worst actress though perhaps should be paired with her comically inept performance in Jennifer’s Body, in which she mistakes ’sexy’ for ‘late-80s New York hooker’.
• Also, praise to the board for the dumps taken on Hugh Hefner, Billy Ray Cyrus, Miley Cyrus and Steve Martin, on of whom can do better and the rest of which should be consigned to a dumpster to live in shame.

As it’s the end of the decade, they’ve also released their nominations for Film, Actor and Actress of the Decade, worst that is. My predictions and views are below.

• Picture: I think Battlefield Earth may have to take it on this one, though the competition is tough. I Know Who Killed Me probably didn’t offend enough people to take the prize, but Gigli is a worthy challenger. Freddy Got Fingered probably has too many dumb revisionist cult movie fans to win this one.
• Actor: Travolta and Murphy will battle it out for Worst Actor. The nod for Myers is absolutely right, especially after he attempted to shit on Inglourious Basterds this year, as if he had yet to destroy enough over the past ten years. Affleck been okay in some stuff so doesn’t really deserve it and Rob Schneider, everyone just wants to forget about Rob Schneider.
• Actress: For Worst Actress, Madonna has always been terrible but she may not have done enough to earn the title. Lohan has Mean Girls to prevent her dropping in to the race. Gigli places Lopez in a strong position to win while Carey has had Precious to redeem her a little. So it has to be Hilton, an STD which has blighted cinema for ten years now and should be deservedly eviscerated.

Bedtime Stories
Directed by Adam Shankman; 2008

THE BEST PART of “Bedtime Stories” is its playfulness, which is reminiscent of “Enchanted” (though never as precious) and “Finding Neverland” (with none of its beauty). Adam Sandler reprises his role as crass yet sweet, good-hearted yet self-indulgent, semi-jackass, semi-heroic everydude, and does it with the same comedic charm to which we’re accustomed. With the help of Keri Russell, Courteney Cox, Russell Brand, and a couple of super adorable kids, he takes us on a wistful, preposterous and touching journey through a series of impromptu bedtime stories that come true in unexpected ways. The gags range from kid-friendly slapstick to adult-oriented innuendo, pretty much all of them funny. Of special interest to fans of “Happy Madison” fare (if you are, you know what this means): Rob Schneider makes a ridiculously hilarious cameo appearance. Worth seeing just for this. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM with “Bedtime Stories”? Well, it has one of those predictable, formulaic plots that rely on a clichéd relationship conflict to carry it through to the final act. The whole “gal is led to believe something untrue about guy so she suddenly hates him and he has to win her back” thing is fine for “Full House” reruns, but let’s get this crutch out of major motion pictures.

Not exactly sure if I agree with all of these nominations, but I agree with most of them.  However, how important is a Razzie Award anyway? View the full list below.

WORST ACTOR OF THE DECADE
Ben Affleck — “Daredevil,” “Gigli,” “Jersey Girl,” “Paycheck,” “Pearl Harbor,” “Surviving Christmas”
Eddie Murphy — “Adventures of Pluto Nash,” “I Spy,” “Imagine That,” “Meet Dave,” “Norbit,” “Showtime”
Mike Myers — “Cat in the Hat,” “The Love Guru”
Rob Schneider — “The Animal,” “Benchwarmers,” “Deuce Bigalo: European Gigolo,” “Grandma’s Boy,” “The Hot Chick,” “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry,” “Little Man,” “Little Nicky”
John Travolta — “Battlefield Earth,” “Domestic Disturbance,” “Lucky Numbers,” “Old Dogs,” “Swordfish”

WORST ACTRESS OF THE DECADE
Mariah Carey – “Glitter”
Paris Hilton — “The Hottie & The Nottie,” “House of Whacks,” “Repo: The Genetic Opera”
Lindsay Lohan — “Herbie Fully Loaded,” “I Know Who Killed Me,” “Just My Luck”
Jennifer Lopez — “Angel Eyes,” “Enough,” “Gigli,” “Jersey Girl,” “Maid in Manhattan,” “Monster-in-Law,” “The Wedding Planner”
Madonna — “Die Another Day,” “The Next Best Thing,” “Swept Away”

WORST PICTURE OF 2009
“All About Steve”
“G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra”
“Land of the Lost”
“Old Dogs””
“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” (a.k.a. “Trannies, Too”)

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS OF 2009
Candice Bergen, “Bride Wars”
Ali Larter, “Obsessed”
Sienna Miller, “G.I. Joe”
Kelly Preston,”Old Dogs”
Julie White, “Trannies, Too”

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR OF 2009
Billy Ray Cyrus, “Hannah Montana: The Movie”
Hugh Hefner, “Miss March”
Robert Pattinson, “Twilight Saga: New Moon”
Jorma Taccone (as Cha-Ka), “Land of the Lost”
Marlon Wayans, “G.I. Joe”

WORST ACTOR OF 2009
The Jonas Brothers, “Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience”
Will Ferrell, “Land of the Lost”
Steve Martin, “Pink Panther 2″
Eddie Murphy, “Imagine That”
John Travolta, “Old Dogs”

WORST ACTRESS Of 2009
Beyonce, “Obsessed”
Sandra Bullock, “All About Steve”
Miley Cyrus, “Hannah Montana: The Movie”
Megan Fox, “Jennifer’s Body” and “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”
Sarah Jessica Parker, “Did You Hear About the Morgans?”

WORST SCREEN COUPLE OF 2009
The Jonas Brothers, “The Jonas Brothers 3-D Concert Experience”
Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper, “All About Steve”
Will Ferrell and any co-star, Creature or “Comic Riff,” “Land of the Lost”
Shia Lebouf & Either Megan Fox or Any Transformer, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”
Kristin Stewart and either Robert Pattinson or Taylor Whatz-His-Fang, “Twilight Saga: New Moon”

WORST REMAKE, RIP-OFF OR SEQUEL (COMBINED CATEGORY FOR 2009)
“G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra”
“Land of the Lost”
“Pink Panther 2″
“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”
“Twilight Saga: New Moon”

WORST DIRECTOR OF 2009
Michael Bay, “Trannies, Too”
Walt Becker, “Old Dogs”
Brad Silberling, “Land of the Lost”
Stephen Sommers, “G.I. Joe”
Phil Traill, “All About Steve”

WORST SCREENPLAY OF 2009
“All About Steve,” screenplay by Kim Barker
“G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra,” screenplay by Stuart Beattie and David Elliot & Paul Lovett, based on Hasbro’s G.I. Joe Characters.
“Land of the Lost,” written by Chris Henchy & Dennis McNicholas, based on Sid & Marty Krofft’s TV series
“Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen,” written By Ehren Kruger & Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, based on Hasbro’s Transformers Action Figures
“Twilight Saga: New Moon,” screenplay by Melissa Rosenberg, based on the novel by Stephenie Meyer

WORST PICTURE OF THE DECADE (3 SPECIAL 30TH RAZZIE-VERSARY AWARDZ)
“Battlefield Earth” (2000) — Nominated for 10 Razzies, “winner” of 8 (including Worst Drama of Our First 25 Years)
“Freddy Got Fingered” (2001) — Nominated for nine Razzies, “winner” of five
“Gigli” (2003) — Nominated for 10 Razzies, winner of seven (including Worst Comedy of Our First 25 Years)
“I Know Who Killed Me” (2007) — Nominated for nine Razzies, “winner” of eight
“Swept Away” (2002) — Nominated for nine Razzies, “winner” of five

1/27:  The area’s best pro-am night can always be found at Go Bananas in Montgomery, OH.  This week’s comedians include a few folks from Lexington (Brad Lanning, Dallas Grambel and Audra Meighan), several newcomers and notable regulars, including John Bunyan, Mike Cronin, Ryan Fohl and Alex Stone.  For only $5, it’s an incredibly fun way to while away an evening.

1/28:  Hot off the success of last Saturday’s fundraising party, comedian Steve Booth is hosting a follow-up comedy show featuring yours truly (Mike Cody), Reid Faylor, magician Brendan Yancy, and comedic songwriter Mark Borison at Leapin Lizard Gallery in Covington, KY.  Tickets for the show are only $5 and will benefit ”December 17th,” an independent film Booth will be producing.

1/28:  The highly animated Kenny Smith, who bills himself as “the funniest guy you’ve never heard of,” headlines tonight at the Funny Bone in Newport, KY.  Although I can’t confirm this, my guess is that the rest of the weekend Smith will be featuring for…

1/29-1/31:  Rob Schneider.  ’Nuff said.  You might want to get tickets for this one early, folks, because I’m pretty sure they’ll sell out fast.  Since this is apparently Deuce Bigalow month at the Funny Bone, here’s hoping the hot chick with one leg headlines next week!  Here’s a vintage clip of Schneider from the 1989 Young Comedians Special, which I actually remember watching with my friends, probably back in 1989.  Cuz I’m old.

1/28-1/31:  He’s been described as a cross between “Opie Taylor and Don Rickles,” but most comedy fans would simply describe him as hilarious.  Veteran comedian Vic Henley has appeared on both The Tonight Show and Late Night with David Letterman and has had his very own Comedy Central Half-Hour Special.  Here’s a clip of Henley discussing a recent trip to Australia.

1/30:  Comedian Larry Love will be hosting a night of comedy at the Brickhouse Tavern.  Featured comedians include good ol’ me (Mike Cody, in case you haven’t figured it out yet), Ray Price, Dave Webster, and Thomas Cox.  The show starts at 7 p.m. and there is a $5 cover charge.  Brickhouse Tavern is located at 4796 Limaburg Road, Hebron, KY 41048.

2/1:  Fireplace Comedy will light up Bean Haus in Covington, KY starting at 8:30 p.m.  Join host Matt Stanton and the area’s hardest working young comedians as they work out new material in the area’s most intimate setting.  As always, the show is completely free.  For details and directions, visit the link on the right hand side of the page.

2/2:  Because comedy means never having to say you’re sorry, Underbelly (cast pictured above) returns to the historic Southgate House in Newport, KY.  What will be the latest development in Ryan Singer’s epic quest to take over the show?  Who was the mysterious figure he spoke to on his cardboard phone at the end of the last show?  Find out the answer to these and other burning questions that you didn’t know anyone had asked this Tuesday at 9:30!  Tickets are just $3 for folks over 21 and $6 for folks ages 18-20.  If you haven’t already done so, why don’t you be a peach and join the official Underbelly Facebook group?  Below is a video produced by Ryan Singer with a few details about his “planned changes” to Underbelly’s format.

It’s always seemed that my parent’s generation has a tendency to think of Adam Sandler as a comedy buffoon.  In the early years he made a name as a high-energy goofball and the loudest guy in the room.  Both Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore follow this blueprint with an excess of voices and slapstick and dirty jokes.  His newer films feel pretty much the same, just a little older, a little less energy.  It works for him, and perhaps because it’s something I grew up with I’ve never had a problem with it.  On the other hand, there’s nothing fresh about Adam Sandler’s comedy.  As much as you’re laughing, you’re never remarking on its quality, never aware of any polish.  And while there certainly are notable titles in Sandler’s comedic filmography, You Don’t Mess With the Zohan is definitively NOT one of them.

Adam Sandler’s Zohan is an Israeli counter-terrorist, a superhero really, whose indifference to the constant bloodshed between his nation and Palestine leads him to the unlikely dream of cutting and styling hair in the great America.  Here he runs the gambit of disappointment that inevitably follows the pursuit of a dream, and ends up at a small shop owned by the excessively attractive and Palestinian (gasp!) Dahlia (Emmanuelle Chriqui).  When finally given his shot, Zohan makes good on his claim to make the masses “silky smooth,” throwing in the added bonus of sexing up every last one of his elderly female patrons.  Only when corporate mogul Grant Walbridge (Michael Buffer…yes, the “Let’s get ready to rummmbbbllle” guy) decides to kick the Israelis and Palestinians out of their shops so he can build his megamall does Zohan find himself fighting for a cause he believes in…hairdressing.

Let me first say that I did spend a fair share of time laughing.  It’s fun to see how far over-the-top Sandler is willing to go with this Israeli superhero, and the abundance of wacky sight gags is almost staggering.  The number of times Zohan shoots something out of his butt alone is enough to win the heart of any seven-year-old.  Still, as many legitimate laughs as there may be here, there are just as many unintended.  This thing is an awful accent extravaganza, including a truly terrible Jamaican Chris Rock cameo.  Literally, Rob Schneider may be the only person capable of putting on a believable Palestinian accent.  At no point do they take advantage of the perpetually hilarious Nick Swardson as Zohan’s new American friend Michael, choosing instead to make him the punchline of every MILF joke imaginable.  John Turturro as Zohan’s Pakistani counterpart, The Phantom, is simply off the mark throughout.  Having nailed some truly memorable comedic roles for our generation (The Big Lebowski, O Brother Where Art Thou, even Mr. Deeds) it’s disappointing to see him forced to do so little with, well, so little.  On top of what’s lacking with the comedy, there are just too many story elements that force a grimace.  The conflict with Walbridge is unattended for most of the story, then thrust at you suddenly in the end, with a bizarre white supremacist Dave Matthews (yes, the Ants Marching guy) giving Zohan the opportunity to kick one last ass.  Even the “Romeo/Juliet” love story feels stupidly contrived, and really, how hard is it to throw together a decent love story?

Regardless of everything else though, there is one main issue that relegates Zohan to the bottom-tier of comedy and that is this: there  is no shortage of decent comedy being produced.  As a genre that luxuriates in not requiring any real critical success, comedy can live on the plain below all the Oscar junk.  Though it sometimes may be better for it, it certainly doesn’t have to be heady or intellectual or even touching, just funny.  Recognizing this, it’s that much more frustrating when a comedy falls flat.  I expect better of the three writers credited for this film, Sandler, Robert Smigel and Judd Apatow.  These are comedy dons and there’s no reason for them to not shoot higher, to not do more when we know they’re capable of it.  For all their lofty ambitions of adding laughs to the Hatfield/McCoy feud of the Gaza Strip, in the end this Sandler-as-goofball vehicle is just a mess, a hummus and dick joke covered mess.

1/20:  These days, it seems like there’s a Pro-Am at Go Bananas in Montgomery, OH nearly every Wednesday!  For the sake of local comedy, that’s a very good thing.  The area’s best “bringer show” is regularly packed with enthusiastic patrons, new comedians who are looking to make their mark and veterans who are trying to put a little “shine” on their old bits.  This week’s lineup includes a lot of new names, including Cris Haas, Brandi Smith, Ben Shannon, Zachary Fields, Jake Free, Heather Jordan, Mat Thornburg, and many more.

1/21:  The Funny Bone in Newport, KY will be holding a Comedy Showcase that will no doubt feature many of the Cincinnati area’s best and brightest comics.  Tickets are only $5, which makes this one of the most affordable shows of the weekend.  Normally, the Bone hosts nationally touring headliners Thursday through Sunday.  This week is a little different since the headliner on Friday and Saturday is…

1/22-1/23:  The maniacally funny Eddie Griffin, perhaps best known for starring in Undercover Brother, Norbit, and Armageddon, will be appearing at the Funny Bone this weekend.  Obviously, these shows are Special Events (which means no free tickets, jackass!) and will almost certainly sell out.  Interesting to note that Griffin will be performing at the Bone this week while his Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo co-star, Rob Schneider, will be headlining next weekend.  Coincidence???  Yeah, probably.  Here’s a clip of Eddie being hilarious.

1/21-1/24:  One of the stars of the S.E.L.L.O.U.T. Tour, Vince Morris, will be headlining Thursday through Sunday at Go Bananas.  Known for his hilariously insightful views on topics ranging from race to relationships, Vince has appeared on Sex and the City and recently performed at the Rooftop Comedy Festival in Aspen, CO.  Below is a clip of Vince outlining his plan for the black community to better themselves.

Here is the link for the video I want you to watch!

It started in September.

I got email after email from publications asking me for my ‘best of the year’ picks and ‘best of the decade’ choices. And then there was an onslaught online, on TV, on the radio, and in print…what’s left of print, that is.

‘Best of the…’ ‘Top Ten’, ‘Top Twenty’, ‘Top Fifty’… the ‘Top of the year’, the ‘Top of the Decade’…ad nauseum.

The year wasn’t even over and we were already rating the songs and films that have been created, comparing apples to oranges. Then it got weirder. Best tweets. Best viral videos. Best broken marriages. Best reality show melt downs. Best political failures. Best new babies born. Best real housewives you’ve never heard of.

If it happened on a grand scale, we can slap a number on it like a pig at the county fair and smugly call ourselves an expert…because that’s what a lot of us journalists, comedians, writers and bloggers are paid to do, right?

But then, suddenly, there were best of lists written by EVERYONE.  I’m glad to know that people all over are enjoying Miike Snow or Radiohead, but when butchers and bakers and candle stick makers are publishing their Best of 2009 lists, it kind of dilutes the magical lists of whatever the fuck Pitchfork or Spin puts out there. If Paste Magazine posts their fifth favorite movie is Amelie and then 20,000 other people tweet the same thing within five minutes, then does precious Paste even make a dent? No wonder magazines are dying.

And then there’s the question that I’ve been aching to ask. Who cares? Your close friends might. If you are a top critic, a few fellow editors might. If you mention something obscure you might earn some “oh yeah, I totally forgot that one!’ points.  If you can write something interesting about your favorites, then you are a gifted writer or comedian and your talents really should be used elsewhere…like on television. Seriously, TV really needs some better writers.

So what’s with all the list making? Must we constantly analyze our past pop culture? Can’t we just box it up and send it into space for other species or our descendants to discover? Can’t we move forward and create the new? The next?

Everyone is entitled to blog, tweet and have an opinion and social media has given everyone a voice. That is the wave of the future. So perhaps it means the death rattle of the ever present Best or Top lists. I mean, hasn’t VH1 beat the living  ‘I Love The’ hell out of it? I was actually assigned a best of list…and then eventually declined to do it. I removed myself from the rabble and decided to once again, look towards the future.

Strangely enough, a few days later, I was contacted out of the blue by Barb Powell, psychic to the stars. Barb doesn’t know me at all, but found my blog and asked if perhaps there wasn’t something we could work on together…like she he had read my mind or something.

Barb Powell is a psychic from Western Canada, who started with a small local client base but is now popular in Los Angeles, and has worked with the cast of shows such as The Ghost Whisperer, Haunting in Connecticut, Brothers and Sisters and The Mentalist…can she predict that Simon Baker and I are meant for each other?

Barb works in a very specific way – she doesn’t need a client to ask a lot of questions, because she gives answers to questions you haven’t even asked. Barb offered to do a mini reading on me and without knowing a thing about me personally, nailed a specific health issue I had been dealing with. Color me impressed.

Before I could ask her questions about the future of music, movies and media,  she already knew what I was looking for. And then some.

Here’s a little bit of what you can expect for 2010:

Good news for people who like their music free…The big labels will continue to get it wrong and eventually cause a big crash!

I think they will get it wrong by pouring money into stopping piracy and legal matters instead of focusing where they should perhaps use subscription type of music channels, etc in order to download.  I think in the next year to two years we will see a crash and they will then HAVE to re-organize.  However I believe that someone will come in and build up independent artists who are good of course but where there is a new way of doing things by subscribing to a site and downloading whatever, whenever they want.  This would be outside the actual music industry or RIAA and how they do things.  In another word..music will be free.

Who will this Indie Robin Hood be? That is unclear. But so far the job is available, so Silverlakers and Williamsburgers apply within!

As far as the Indie film world, Barb sees strides for filmmakers who’s pockets aren’t lined with Avatar type dollars.

We will see an increase with independent films, for sure, what with some of the most popular and cheaper films that have become a success.

Good news for the new legion of Wes Anderson types out there who want to launch their own Bottle Rocket. But they will still have to battle Big Hollywood. However with 2010 studio offerings like Hot Tub Time Machine, it might not be hard for up and comers to win at the box office and beat the majors.

Sigh. Hot Tub Time Machine. Really John Cusack? Next time you’re thinking of doing a movie like this, let me know. I’ll come stand outside your window with a boom box playing a list of reasons of why you will soon be Rob Schneider if you don’t stop this nonsense.

On the topic of music mediocrity, Barb reports:

We will see some upset for the Nickelback lead singer…the band does well but we will see a fall out later part of 2010 due to addictions….but will bounce back in 2011 for an awesome comeback record.

I will wait with baited breath for more from them…people are ready to listen to more pop songs sung by the weird art school girl, whose gender was the biggest mystery of 2009. And her hate spewing internet Svengali will get a reality show – perhaps his crowning glory?

Lots of great things for Lady Gaga career in 2010 including a TV special. Perez Hilton (famed blogger) will have his own reality show although health will become an issue.

Poor Perez. I’m sure many will come to his bedside to wish him well. After GLAAD came down hard on Perez (himself gay) in ‘09 for his anti-gay slurs and his trash talk, perhaps he’ll change his ways?

I’m not holding my breath. I wonder what Perez will draw on Miley’s face when it’s reported she is with child?

More news for the Miley Cyrus fans and watchers.  There will be pregnancy rumors once again and they will turn out to be true in 2010.

Another blight on the small screen will be more Sarah Palin. Not sure this is a prediction as much as most of America unable to stop her PR steamroller, but nonetheless it’s apparently about to happen, times eleventy. Just a warning in case you want to cancel your cable subscription in advance.

We will see more of Sarah Palin on TV in late 2010 early 2011…talk show.

Sarah Palin talk show. I just threw up in my mouth. What will her show’s ‘book club’ feature, aside from her own book? Pop ups?

Barb has predicted a lot of celebrity deaths, both expected and scarily unexpected. I’ve chosen not to list them all, but one, I thought I could safely mention without any tears being shed…

This isn’t a Hollywood prediction but interesting just the same…Charles Manson will die.

Maybe this will clear the way for Roman Polanski to return to the US? And perhaps maybe many of the grizzly man indie guitarists of LA will stop emulating his long bearded look and his quest for a harem? It didn’t work out well for Charlie, guys…

Two major highlights Barb has predicted for 2010 in the media, one uplifting, one disconcerting.

Major media involving China/Japan but more so China in regards to war.

War with China is scary…and 24 hour news coverage by cable news outlets is outright terrifying. Hopefully both diplomacy and real journalism will prevail.

Singers/Actors unite for the environment to promote saving the ocean and rain forest.

If we ever needed a new Geldof (Bob, not Peaches.) to step up and create a new World Aid, the time is now.

French/American company The Hours recently started the Tck Tck Tck campagin to save the environment and there are many others.

Now is the time to unite in this cause. I, for one, would be proud to be a part of this.

Barb has made many other predictions about celebrity career triumphs and failures and marriages and divorces. Seems like it’s going to be a chock filled year. She’s even said I’m going to go against type and get cast in a serious acting role:

There will be an ongoing role in a series that reminds me of CSI or Law & Order type of show where it seems you play a detective or bad ass type of woman who gets the bad bad people.

I’m so looking forward to kicking some bad, bad ass!

So what’s your biggest prediction for 2010?

Follow both Barb and me on Twitter at @aliontheair and @mediumBarbP  and tweet us your top 2010 prediction with the hashtags #aliontheair #barbpowell.

My favorite answer will win a free reading with Barb!

Until then, have a great and list free New Year!

Rob Schneider protects himself in the prison rape comedy Big Stan. One of the prison gangs in the movie are "the scientologists" (seen in back), just to give you an idea of this movie's character.

About a month ago my wife and mother-in-law came home after seeing a movie. I asked them what they went to see and my wife described it as the movie “where the guy needs to learn how to protect himself so he doesn’t get raped in prison. It was hilarious!”

I then asked what my religious, conservative mother-in-law thought about the movie, expecting the worst. “She was laughing just as much I was,” my wife said. A few minutes later I asked my mother-in-law how the movie was and she said it was “silly” and then giggled.

So what the hell is this movie I wondered. I went online to see what it was and it was called “A Prueba de los Hombres” in spanish. I think this translates directly to “Trying the Men,” but more accurately is something along the lines of “Giving Proof to the Men.” Aside from the name, I saw that the movie was directed by and starred Rob Schneider– this gave me a much better impression of what kind of movie it was.

I also found out the movie was originally called “Big Stan” in english. What’s funny is that this movie went straight to DVD in the U.S., but was released in the theaters here in Peru. Go figure how that decision gets made.

After acquiring a DVD of the movie, I finally watched it last night. I wanted to see what all the laughing was about. It’s exactly as simplistic as my wife described it.

The movie begins with Rob Schneider playing a con-artist who sells real estate to suckers. He gets caught and subsequently sentenced to prison. His crooked lawyer successfully bribes the judge, allowing Schneider’s character 6 months of freedom before he must report to prison. This gives our hero ample time to prepare for what he views as the ultimate danger of prison: getting raped. He enlists David Carradine as his trainer, and gets ready to protect himself from would-be assailants.

So can you make a full-length comedic movie about prison rape? Yes you can.

While I can’t really say that Big Stan was an incredible movie, I will admit that I laughed a considerable amount. The whole time I was also thinking about why it is that we often suspect our more conservative friends and relatives will be offended by silly movies and sexual jokes.

The best answer I can come up with is that we often forget that everyone is human and that sex is something that almost everyone thinks about even if they never choose to talk about it. I recall during one trip to visit my grandparents, it was just me and my grandpa watching tv. The only thing that was worth watching was the movie Naked Gun 2 1/2. If you aren’t familiar with this movie, it is full of raunchy jokes.

I knew it was a bit daring to make this viewing choice, and started to squirm a little bit during some particularly tasteless sexual jokes. What took place for the next hour and a half or so was amazing. I have never seen my grandpa laugh so hard in his life. I can still see him sitting in his recliner chair with his head tilted back trying to hold back tears from laughing so hard.

Now that I’ve seen Big Stan I realize that it was actually a lot tamer and less offensive than I thought it would be. Most people are willing to accept that rape happens in prison. As the movie is sure to make clear, it occurs (mostly) as an act of violence rather than sexuality. I’m sure it’s a movie that my wife and mother-in-law would have never planned to go see. But they saw it on a whim, and it turned out to be really fun for them.

I guess for me it’s a good reminder that people are always much more complicated and hard to predict than you think they would be.

Surf Ninjas (1993)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108258/

I remember this as being the best movie ever made. In 1993, I was 11 and this movie contained everything I ever wanted. Now it is 2008. The nostalgia factor is high with this movie, but I now lack that innocence that made this movie so great 15 years ago. At age 11, this would have receive 9/10. Today it gets 7.5/10

1. “Date Night” is a comedy featuring Tina Fey (“30 Rock”) and Steve Carell (“The Office”). They try to revive their marriage by going out on a date. Hilarity ensues after they are mistaken for another married couple who owe people money. If, like me, the comedic veterans aren’t enough to convince you to watch the movie, “Date Night” also stars rapper Common, Mila Kunis (“That ‘7os Show”), Mark Wahlberg (“Four Brothers”) and James Franco (“Pineapple Express”).

2. “Did You Hear About the Morgans?” also centers on a marriage on the rocks and a married couple on the run. This time around, though, Hugh Grant (“Notting Hill”) and Sarah Jessica Parker (“Sex and City”)  are placed in the witness protection program after seeing a murder. I’ve seen this trailer in theaters several times and every time, someone reacts to the last part of the trailer. Indeed, the laughs start once they relocate to Wyoming …

3. “Kick Ass” follows newcomer Aaron Johnson as he decides to become a superhero even though he has no powers. The tone of the film is similar to the humor in several Owen Wilson movies, such as “The Darjeeling Limited.” Christopher Mintz-Plasse, of “Superbad” fame, also stars. Johnson can also be seen in the John Lennon-film, “Nowhere Boy.” Its trailer is over here.

4. Acclaimed actor James McAvoy can next be seen in “The Last Station,” which focuses on the life of famed author Leo Tolstoy (Christopher Plummer). The trailer doesn’t reveal much else, but the film does have a 7.3 star rating on IMDb.com. The film’s early release is supposedly a ploy to secure Plummer an Oscar nomination in next year’s weak Best Actor race. McAvoy’s real-life wife, Anne Marie Duff, as well as Oscar favorites Helen Mirren and Paul Giamatti co-star.

5. Focus Features is set to release “Babies,” a documentary which chronicles one year in the lives of different newborns around the world, namely Tokyo, San Francisco, Mongolia and Namibia.

Edward Norton, Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, Robert Pattinson, Vanessa Hudgens, “Toy Story 3,” romantic comedies (Amy Adams! Nicholas Sparks!), potential Oscar nominees (George Clooney! Emily Blunt!) and more after the jump.

6. Hollywood takes another stab at “Beauty and the Beast” with the adaptation of Alex Flinn’s novel, “Beastly.” The teaser trailer is so abrupt that I’m not excited to see it in theaters. Relative unknown Alex Pettyfer and Vanessa Hudgens (“High School Musical”) star.

7. “Season of the Witch” reteams Nicolas Cage with “Gone in 60 Seconds” director, Dominic Sena. This heart-pounding action movie takes us with a band of knights who are tasked with moving a powerful witch to a monastery. Ron Perlman from “Hellboy” co-stars.

8. Amanda Seyfried (“Mamma Mia”) sure knows how to pick movies — at least, chick flicks that I want to see. First, there was Nicholas Sparks’s “Dear John.” Now, there’s “Letters to Juliet.” Seyfried stars as a girl who’s engaged to Gael Garcia Bernal (“Science of Sleep”) but goes on an adventure with Christopher Egan (“Eragon”) and Vanessa Redgrave after she finds Redgrave’s letter to a long lost love.

IMDb.com states that Hugh Dancy was originally cast in Bernal’s role but dropped out, which is a shame. Anyone who’s seen him in “The Jane Austen Book Club” knows that Dancy would have been perfect in this movie albeit in Egan’s role. Oh, well. Cue Taylor Swift’s “Love Story.”

9. Noah Baumbach (“The Squid and the Whale”) once again gifts us with his zing-damn-oh snap (!) dialogue in “Greenberg.” Ben Stiller tries his hand at drama as a man in a mid-life crisis. Jennifer Jason Leigh (“Single White Female”) and Rhys Ifans (to be seen in “Harry Potter 7″) round out the cast.

10. “Crazy Heart” is another film with an earlier-than-scheduled release date. Again, the movie studio is trying to nab its star, Jeff Bridges, a Best Actor nod. Bridges (“Iron Man”) stars as a country music star who’s down on his luck until his path crosses with a journalist (Maggie Gyllenhaal).

11. According to IMDb.com, “Remember Me” is up by 658 percent in popularity this week. The most probable reason? Robert Pattinson (“Twilight”) is the star. He is joined by Pierce Brosnan (“James Bond”), Chris Cooper (“The Kingdom”) and Emilie de Ravin (“Lost”).

12. In “Leaves of Grass,” Edward Norton plays twin brothers who plot to kill their small town’s drug lord. The supporting cast includes Susan Sarandon (“Stepmom”) and Keri Russell (“August Rush”).

13. “Extraordinary Measures” is based on the true story of John and Aileen Crowley who race to find a cure for their dying child. Brendan Fraser (“The Mummy”), Russell (“Felicity”) and Harrison Ford (“Indiana Jones”) star.

14. “In Ireland, women can propose to men on the 29th of February.” This is the premise of “Leap Year,” in which Amy Adams (“Enchanted”) takes it upon herself to propose to her longtime boyfriend. Fate intervenes when she lands in Wales instead and runs into Matthew Goode (“Chasing Liberty”).

15. In “Grown Ups,” five childhood friends reunite after 30 years. The movie’s cast is a who’s who of comedy, namely David Spade (“The Benchwarmers”), Chris Rock (“Down to Earth”), Adam Sandler (“Spanglish”), Kevin James (“Hitch”), Rob Schneider (“Hot Chick”), Maya Rudolph (“Away We Go”), Salma Hayek (“Frida”) and Maria Bello (“Coyote Ugly”).

16. After failing to impress the girl of his dreams, Michael Cera (“Superbad”) decides to rebel in the comedy, “Youth in Revolt.” Justin Long (“Accepted”) and Zach Galifianakis (“The Hangover”) also star in the movie. Trailer no.1 and trailer no. 2 follow:

17. Soon there won’t be another Sparks’s novel to film, and the world as we know it will come to an end. “The Last Song” is Hollywood’s latest try at the author’s romantic novels. Miley Cyrus (“Hannah Montana”) stars as a rebellious teenager who, along with her younger brother, is sent to spend the summer with her estranged dad. Cyrus, also a musical prodigy, falls in love and makes amends with her father.

I guess that means two things. 1) We can look forward to Cyrus-filled soundtrack. 2) Supposedly, the studio thought Mandy Moore in two Sparks’s adaptations would have been too much. Nonetheless, Greg Kinnear (“Little Miss Sunshine”) and Kelly Preston (“Jerry Maguire”) lend the movie some credibility.

18. Maybe you’ve heard of James Cameron’s (“Titanic”) latest venture, “Avatar.” An adventure in another world and another time pits  human soldiers against an entirely new species. Sam Worthington (“Terminator: Salvation”), Sigourney Weaver (“Alien”), Zoe Saldana (“Star Trek”) and Michelle Rodriguez (“Girl Fight”) star.

19. It’s just a teaser trailer, but “Clash of the Titans” looks pretty amazing. Whoever created the score is some kind of genius. Liam Neeson (Batman Begins”), Ralph Fiennes (“Harry Potter”) and Worthington  are all part of the remake.

20. Catch the “Toy Story 3″ teaser and full trailers below:

21. Emily Blunt is “The Young Victoria.” From the looks of the trailer, Blunt (“The Devil Wears Prada”) will give another powerhouse performance as Queen Victoria. She is paired with Rupert Friend (“Pride and Prejudice”) as her Prince Albert. The ensemble cast includes Paul Bettany (“The Da Vinci Code”) and Jim Broadbent (“The Chronicles of Narnia”).

22. Clooney may have cinched another Oscar nomination with his performance in “Up in the Air.” In fact, director Jason Reitman (“Juno”), actresses Anna Kendrick (“Twilight”) and Vera Farmiga (“The Departed”) all have Oscar buzz surrounding them. Clooney is the guy that companies hire to travel all over the globe and fire people for them.

The film was originally meant to be a satire like Reitman’s “Thank You for Not Smoking,” but the recession called for a revamping of the movie. The first trailer below tells you more about the story, but the second trailer is by far the better one. Fasten your seatbelts …

Personally, I’m looking forward to “Up in the Air,” “The Young Victoria,” “Leap Year” and “Letters to Juliet” although I’d probably watch some, such as “Avatar” and “Did You Hear About the Morgans?” if my friends want to see them. What about you? Sound off in the comments!

//