O pianista de Roman Polanski

França, 2002

Com Adrien Brody, Thomas Kretschmann , Frank Finlay , Maureen Lipman , Emilia Fox

Varsóvia, 1939. Um pianista tocando delicadamente Chopin, numa rádio. Repentinamente, o local começa a ser bombardeado, mas o pianista não deixa de tocar a sua música, mesmo que todos já tenham ido. É como se estivesse imerso num sonho; continua a tocar enquanto estilhaços de vidro e segmentos de pedra caem sobre sua cabeça. Ele vê o que ocorre à sua volta, mas prefere não desistir. Esse é Wladyslam Szpilman, personagem do filme O pianista. E é assim que somos apresentados a ele.

Roman Polanski, diretor do filme, ou melhor, da obra-prima, consegue chocar-nos com o filme. Retrata os horrores da Segunda Guerra Mundial. Hoje esse tema pode já estar um tanto repetitivo, porém depende do diretor que o aborda. E Roman Polanski, sem dúvida, conseguiu colocar O pianista como um dos melhores filmes atuais, vencedor de 3 Oscar (diretor, ator e roteiro adaptado).

Revendo filmes acerca do Holocausto e Segunda Guerra Mundial, O pianista se difere em um ponto importante: a proeza do herói é sobreviver. Parece que a morte lhe acompanha por todo o caminho, mas é como se ela desviasse de Szpilman. Ou ele desvia dela.

Acompanhamos Szpilman na sua tentativa de sobreviver. De um esconderijo a outro, ele consegue fugir. E assim, a cada tentativa de sobrevivência até o final da guerra, é que nos surpreendemos. O mais interessante é que não se trata de ficção, Szpilman realmente existiu. E o seu livro, hoje nomeado de O pianista, foi a base do roteiro. Após ter passado pela Segunda Guerra Mundial, ele relatou o que ocorrera, mas a sua perspectiva da guerra incomodara as autoridades (grande novidade). Assim, teve a tiragem de livros reduzida.

Para quem quiser ver o filme (o que aconselho, vale a pena), devo destacar que preste atenção nas músicas do filme. São do pianista polaco Chopin e são elas que direcionam o filme às melhores cenas. É surpreendente “sentir” a emoção da música, como se estivéssemos com Szpilman na mesma jornada. A cena em que ele toca Ballade nº1 diante de um soldado é incrivelmente emocionante e é o clímax do filme. Depois dela, não se sabe o que vai ocorrer com o personagem. É o primeiro momento que ele pôde tocar, deixar-se ouvir. A música, representando a alma de Szpilman, precisou manter-se reprimida para sobreviver. O toque do piano existia apenas na memória dele. Quando se depara com um futuro extremamente incerto, se sobreviverá ou não, Szpilman expõe sua alma e a infelicidade pela qual passara. E é Chopin que silencia-nos a fim de ouvirmos o sentimento do personagem. A música invade o filme e nos emociona.

O pianista do início do filme, aquele que continuou a tocar mesmo com a cidade sendo bombardeada, sempre esteve em Szpilman. A guerra apenas tratou de colocar o sobrevivente num palco principal. Apenas ele e o piano.

This isn’t a game of ‘ain’t it awful’ because we all know that people do awful things. What we don’t understand well enough is the paralysis that afflicts people who have a responsibility to protect the powerless, and the network of complicity that arises around centers of power…

Ireland’s police colluded with the Catholic church in covering up clerical child abuse in Dublin on a huge scale, according to a damning report on decades of sex crimes committed by priests.

The devastating report on the sexual and physical abuse of children by the clergy in Ireland’s capital from 1975 to 2004 accuses four former archbishops, a host of clergy and senior members of the Garda Síochána of a cover-up.

The three-volume report found that the “maintenance of secrecy, the avoidance of scandal, the protection of the reputation of the church and the preservation of its assets” was more important than justice for the victims.

Read the rest, here.

Feministe links to an article by French philosopher Bernard Henri-Levi on the Polanski case that is so one-sided you’d never know that Polanski plead guilty to a crime. I think there are parallels here. Power is attractive. Power can bestow favors. Standing with the people who are injured in the rush to power is costly. Social disapproval is a powerful weapon. You could end up dis-invited to a lot of parties, or denied Communion.

Some belated justice is necessary, but it’s not enough. Understanding the social protection that lets abusers get away with their crimes is crucial, because prevention is the best cure.

The Magna Sententia Podcast with Anna and Ellie Sherise. Hosted by Rodger McMillan.

This week:

• Guilt & Forgiveness
• “Hacked E-Mails Fuel Global Warming Debate” (Wired.com)
• “Lambert’s Album Sells Well In Wake Of Controversy” (CNN.com)
• “Swiss: Polanski In Jail Until At Least Monday” (AP)

Download Episode 6

So this the spot where I apologize for not doing anything blog-worthy in a few weeks. And throw in some vague nods to projects which refuse closure and we’re on course!

And The Trailer Park Six is on hiatus until after the holidays. Like you care! Like I care!

The director’s sister-in-law Mathilde Seigner hinted that the leader has been instrumental to the recent development.

“I wouldn’t go so far as to say that it is thanks to the President that Roman has been freed, but he has been super. The President has been very effective,” Times Online quoted her as telling Le Parisien newspaper.

Sarkozy had earlier expressed his views on the director being held on a US warrant for having unlawful sex with a 13-year-old girl in 1977. (via Nicolas Sarkozy ‘helped’ Roman Polanski get bail).

Joseph Wambaugh on Hollywood

For years now, I have been avid reader of Joseph Wambaugh – a policeman turned writer. His comedies, wrapped in (mostly) LA or (sometimes) New York milieu, are in the style of Raymond Chandler under halogen lamp. The darker areas get better light. The chrome glints more. Glamour quotient gets mixed with large doses of warmth and understanding. Unlike Chandler, Wambaugh’s is never judgmental – which make his characters very real.

I read Wambaugh’s Glitter Dome, and twenty years later I remember one of his interesting observations on Hollywood,

Parking, not pussy, is at a premium around these parts, they said.

Sex, Cinema and Fashion

Hollywood, Bollywood (a patronizing name by which Indian film industry calls itself), haute couture businesses have a rather blase attitude about sex. Hence, to hold Hollywood to ordinary behavioural norms, has a puritanical air about it. In the Polanski affaire, the alleged victim, Samantha Geimer, wants the case closed.

But anyway, coming to why this story gets me curious, is why did Anand Jon, a haute couture designer get such a harsh sentence. Unwilling /semi-willing /actively willing sex in Hollywood /Bollywood /haute couture businesses is what (I have been given to believe is) normal. I mean these days, stars /starlets ‘leak’ sex tapes on the internet.

And no one has ever been seriously prosecuted, convicted and sentenced – as Anand Jon has been!

Where is the balance

I am assuming that Anand Jon is guilty. Is it the first time that models have tried advancing their career by sleeping with designers? Has it not happened before? I wonder what is it that Anand Jon did, which brought down the entire American judicial establishment onto him like ton of bricks. The case of the Sri Lankan Rajarathnam has similar smell to it.

The US prosecuting authority, Preet Bharara, the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, alleges that the Galleon Fund made some US$20 million out of this insider trading. I am sure that Galleon Fund (more than US$5 billion in assets under management) spent more than US$20 million on tea, coffee, espresso, soda, Evian and paper napkins. Rajrathnam’s own net worth was estimated by “Forbes” to be US$ 1.3 billion.

Is there any sense, any balance to these cases. Is Preet Bharara, indulging in reverse ‘affirmative action’ by prosecuting Rajarathnam? Is Preet Bharara trying to prove that he is colour blind?

“If you’re a wealthy trader, you aren’t special,” Bloomberg quoted Manhattan U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara as saying at a press conference. “Knock on our door before we come knocking on yours.”

If you ask me, he should investigate Hank Paulson, the Former Treasury Secretary, under whose watch many bankruptcies happened conveniently in favour of JP Morgan and Goldman Sachs.

The earliest Roman Polanski would be released from prison is Monday, the Swiss justice ministry says.

By Soraya Roberts
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

NYDailyNews.com

Friday, November 27th 2009, 2:05 PM

Inmate: Roman Polanski gets special treatment in Swiss jail

Roman Polanski has been getting the star treatment behind bars.

The filmmaker, 76, was allowed regular calls to his wife, French actress Emmanuelle Seigner, and his attorneys, according to Yussi Akram, an inmate who served time with Polanski. Prison guards also kept the “Rosemary’s Baby” director away from other inmates, Akram told Zurich’s Radio One.

Polanski’s cell phone was equipped with an emergency button to summon guards, The Los Angeles Times reports.

Director Janusz Morgenstern, a close friend of Polanski’s, told Radio One the director is depressed and has lost 30 pounds.

A propos of  nothing, Roman Polanski a du s’éclater devant cet épisode.

via Bernard-Henri Lévy

The decision to free Roman Polanski is a wise decision…At this very moment, I am thinking about Emmanuelle, his wife. I am thinking about his two kids who saw their dad’s name ignominiously dragged through the mud. I am mostly thinking about him: Roman Polanski…Nothing will repair the days he has spent in prison. Nothing will erase the immense, unbelievable injustice he has been subjected to. Nothing will take away the hysteria of those ones who have never stopped pouring contempt upon him, hounding him through hatred and asking for his punishment as if we were living the darkest and most ferocious hours of the McCarthysm era all over again. At least, the nightmare is about to end. At least the end of the hell is looming.

How ’bout you start “mostly thinking” about your white, upper-class, male privilege instead?  This guy’s a French philosopher of what, the MRA movement?  Asswipe.

A pesar de que la Corte le concedió una posibilidad de libertad condicional, el director Roman Polanski no saldrá aún de la prisión. De acuerdo a la orden, no podrá ser liberado cuando menos hasta la próxima semana, y aún no hay seguridad de que así sea. Hasta ahora, la única explicación que se ha dado es que se dará la oportunidad para que se realice alguna apelación, lo cual suena extraño considerando que no se mencionó en todo el proceso.

The Guardian’s Comment is Free section is certainly no bastion for solid, conscientious journalism. In fact, I’ve come across less non sequiturs and discombobulated arguments in the writings of pre-pubescent Korean children. However, it was still something of a shock to come across Agnès Poirier – vainglorious Myspace photo included – profile on the Guardian’s website.

The first two articles I read contained:

1. The most frivolous defense of Foie Gras I have ever encountered.
2. A violin sonata on the arrest of Roman Polanski.

You’d be tempted to think she was some sort of postmodern and oh-so-sophisticated French correspondent. Wait…

Here is her – oh isn’t it all just a big joke? - argument regarding the potential banning of the pâté:

Another pleasure to go down the drain after smoking, drinking and parental spanking. If we ban foie gras, I suggest we also ban human force-feeding, you know, obesity, and make it a crime for all who encourage it and all who indulge in it. Cadbury should be forced to close down, so should Häagen Dazs and many others, and let’s lock up everyone with a BMI above 25. Yes, you, filthy foie gras eater.

And here she is on the arrest of a self-confessed statutory rapist:

There is a feeling in France that the US justice department is acting out some kind of prudish revenge against a great talent who never abided by American rules even when he was the most celebrated director in Hollywood.

Sometimes I really think it’s all a big scripted joke.

Good morning Conflucians! I’m a bit late this morning, because I stayed up practically all night reading a murder mystery that I couldn’t put down. At least I wasn’t working. It looks like a pretty slow news day, as you might expect. There’s still quite a bit of talk about the couple who crashed the White House state dinner the other night. According to the Washington Post,

A woman describing herself as a publicist for the Salahis denied that they were interlopers. Pressed for details, Mahogany Jones sent a statement saying simply: “The Salahis were honored to be a part of such a prestigious event. . . . They both had a wonderful time.”

While the White House offered no official explanation, it appears to be the first time in modern history that anyone has crashed a White House state dinner. The uninvited guests were in the same room as President Obama, first lady Michelle Obama and Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, although it is unknown whether they met the Obamas and the guest of honor.

If they really were crashers–and it sure sounds like it–the White House needs to be a lot more careful in the future.

The New York Times has an interesting story about the Massachusetts Senate race: 4 Vie for Kennedy’s Seat, but Only 3 Seek His Mantle. The NYT seems surprised that the candidate who isn’t constantly invoking the memory of Ted Kennedy and swearing to follow in his footsteps is the one who is leading the race. Yep, that’s Attorney General Martha Coakley.

A liberal Democrat like her rivals, Ms. Coakley has nonetheless billed herself as “a different kind of leader,” a phrase flashed in her campaign ads. Those ads have not mentioned Senator Kennedy, and yet she has outraised her opponents (though Mr. Pagliuca has spent more, by dipping into his personal fortune) and won the highest favorability ratings, which a Boston Globe poll published Sunday put at 71 percent.

“Martha has cut her own image, and it’s worked,” said Dan Payne, a Democratic media consultant in Boston who has remained neutral in the race. “She doesn’t need to glom onto the Kennedy legacy, because she’s the only one with statewide experience and exposure.”

In her biggest political risk to date, Ms. Coakley attacked the health care plan passed on Nov. 7 by the House because of its restrictions on abortion coverage. She said she would not support it, a stance that could help her among women but could also backfire among voters eager for a health care overhaul.

Maybe Massachusetts voters just aren’t as stupid as the NYT thinks we are. I guess they’ve forgotten that Hillary Clinton won the Democratic primary here, despite Ted’s endorsement of “The One.” Maybe it actually means something to us that Martha Coakley fought for the votes of Florida and Michigan to be counted and that she stood up against the pressure and voted for Clinton at the Convention? Maybe we appreciate that fact that she can see the “health care reform” bill is scam that treats women like third class citizens?

Roman Polanski is still in jail, but will back living in the lap of luxury by Monday.

The 76-year-old has been granted bail after being arrested in September.

He has been wanted in the US since fleeing the country in 1978 after pleading guilty to having unlawful sex with an underage girl.

The Swiss Federal Criminal Court granted the Oscar-winning director $4.5m (£2.7m) bail, pending proceedings for his possible extradition to the US.

He was ordered to surrender his passport and be fitted with an electronic bracelet that will activate if he attempts to abscond from his chalet in the ski resort of Gstaad.

And speaking of child sexual abuse, the Catholic Church is caught up in a bit of a scandal in Ireland.

The crime of inaction

One priest admitted sexually abusing children every two weeks for 25 years. Some boys who were abused by one priest were later passed on to their friends and abused again. Another priest admitted abusing over 100 children. And as often the case with sexual violence, this is only the tip of the iceberg – for every victim who came forward, there are many more who seek peace in silence. These are only some of the findings of the report published yesterday by the commission of investigation into Dublin’s Catholic archdiocese. The commission’s report covers the period between 1 January 1975 and 30 April 2004. One can only assume that there were many more cases of child sex abuse prior to 1975, and even more cases of abuse around the Republic of Ireland outside of Dublin.

Dublin Bishop Says Vatican Silence on Abuse Cases ‘Regrettable’

Sexual abuse of children in the archdiocese between 1975 and 2004 was routinely covered up by church leaders, the independent commission, appointed in 2006 by the Irish government, said in a report published yesterday.

The church’s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, which was set up to spread Catholic teaching, didn’t reply to requests from the commission’s investigators for the release of information it holds about the sexual abuse of children in Dublin, the panel said. A Vatican spokeswoman declined to comment on the matter today when contacted by telephone.

Investigators were seeking information on the abuse cases that had been sent to the Vatican agency by the archdiocese itself, so the material wouldn’t have been any more “substantive” than that already available to the panel, according to Walsh. Still, the Vatican should have shown “courtesy and cooperation” with the panel by responding to the request for information, he said.

And yet the Vatican wants to tell American women and our so-called representatives what we can do with our own bodies. Shame!

Please post your links in the comments, and if you can find cheerful news, all the better! Have a FABULOUS Friday!!

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Polanski’s sister-in-law, Mathilde Seigner, admits she is delighted the star will soon be free, telling French newspaper Le Parisien, “I am very happy and relieved. We’re going to drink a nice glass of champagne and toast together.” [source]

Yeah, and then he’ll throw in some forced sodomy, ’cause that’s just how he rolls. Seriously, you’re talking to the national media and you bring up champagne?

What’s worse: that these people are simply unaware of the impression they are giving the rest of the world, or that they are, in fact, very much aware, and couldn’t give a damn? And then they have the nerve to complain about how their family has been negatively affected by this situation? Because, clearly, the utter sense of entitlement and “it’s OK to get away with rape for as long as you’re a celebrated genius” means that society needs to roll over and drool for your benefit?

He better still get extradited. Otherwise, I might have to quit humanity.

There isn’t anything else I’d like to say about this, so I’ll let appropriate gif be appropriate:

(source : http://www.contre-informations.fr/?p=3557  27/11/09)

Hier midi sur I-télé, le journaliste Joseph Macé-Scaron a évoqué la libération prochaine sous caution de Roman Polanski.

Selon lui, l’époque à laquelle s’est déroulé s’est déroulé le crime de Polanski était caractérisée par la libération des corps. « C’est un peu comme si on jugeait Woodstock avec les idées de Christine Boutin ou Christian Vanneste » a-t-il ajouté.

La référence à Boutin et Vaneste, deux politiques connus pour leurs engagement catholique traditionaliste, particulièrement réactionnaire et homophobe, ne doit rien au hasard.

En fait, ce commentaire est typiquement français.

En France, il est courant de se prévaloir de manière vantarde d’une liberté de mœurs censé être opposée, suivant une approche chauvine très prononcée, au puritanisme « anglo-saxon ».

La France a une longue tradition anti-cléricale « bouffeur de curés » qui plaît particulièrement aux petits-bourgeois qui s’imaginent ainsi « rebelles », alors que cette attitude, par sa radicalité anti-dialectique, relève du pur idéalisme ayant justement échoué à se libérer de la religion.

La religion est en effet à comprendre de manière dialectique, à la fois par son côté violemment réactionnaire et patriarcal, mais aussi son aspect attaché à la justice et la solidarité entre les humains.

Bien sûr, ce sont ces principes positifs qui ont pour but de reléguer les aspirations révolutionnaires des masses derrière l’application d’une « justice divine ». C’est en cela que la religion est « l’opium du peuple » et que les masses ne s’en détacheront complètement que dans la pratique révolutionnaire.

Mais en France, l’idéalisme anti-religieux, qui est l’expression dialectique du sentiment religieux lui-même, sert souvent à fanfaronner de manière puérile sur le côté « coincé » (sexuellement) de la religion.

La remarque de Joseph Macé-Scaron s’inscrit complètement dans cette ordre d’idée, typique de la petite-bourgeoise qui se croit « libérée ».

En France, la peur de se faire taxer de « coincé » joue pour beaucoup dans la tolérance affichée envers les décadences bourgeoises typiques du capitalisme, comme l’ont montré récemment les réactions clémentes de la bourgeoisie envers le viol commis par Roman Polanski en 1977 ou le tourisme sexuel pratiqué par Frédéric Mitterrand.

Pourtant, les masses ne tolèrent pas que le viol d’une jeune fille de 13 ans soit légitimé au nom de la référence manipulatrice au mouvement hippie ou que le recours à la prostitution lors de voyages soit banalisé.

Un viol ou le tourisme sexuel ne relèvent en rien de la libération sexuelle, mais bien de l’infâme oppression des êtres humains par les capitalistes, et principalement des femmes!

Il n’y aura de libération sexuelle qu’après la destruction totale du patriarcat, élément central du capitalisme, sous les coups du prolétariat révolutionnaire!

Dance of the Vampires is a musical based on the Roman Polanski movie of the same name. It was written by Jim Steinman (music) and Michael Kunze (book).

Plot:
Professor Abronsius (Gernot Kranner) travels with his young assistant Alfred (Lukas Perman) to find Vampires. They end up in a remote village, which is strangely obsessed with garlic. They stay at the inn, where Alfred falls in love with Sarah (Marjan Shaki). Sarah likes him, too, but her heart is set on bigger things. Therefore she isn’t really unhappy from the attention she gets from the mysterious Graf von Krolock (Thomas Borchert). And things only go downhill from there.

Dance of the Vampires is an awesome mix of comedy and kitsch – it doesn’t play with all the Vampire stereotypes, it revels in them. The music is awesome (even if mostly recycled from previous Steinman works) and this particular production isn’t bad either.

Dance of the Vampires premiered 12 years ago in Vienna and it’s the first time that it’s been back here since then. I saw it during its first run and I loved it. So, when I heard that it came back, I had to see it.

Some of the cast stayed the same, which is awesome – Gernot Kranner and James Sbano (Chagal, the Innkeeper) for example. Unfortunately, Steve Barton, who played Krolock in the first production, died. Thomas Borchert, who took his part, had big shoes to fill: Barton was definitely an audience favourite. And though Borchert wasn’t bad, he couldn’t quite achieve the same heights.

Lukas Perman as Alfred isn’t bad, but Marja Shaki was very disappointing. Her voice is quite bland. And if that wasn’t bad enough, she actually needed a “body double” for the dancing… I really wonder what she did in this show.

They didn’t just use the old sets but made a new stage design, partly with video projections. This worked well for the most part, but they really screwed up the projection of Krolock’s castle. It was all weird Escher-like angles, in a bad way.

In any case, I’d recommend listening to the music if you don’t already know it. And if you know it and like it, you should really try to catch this live. The Viennese production is definitely worth seeing.

Cette liberté est regardée comme une  victoire pour le cinéaste qui souffrirait d’ennuis de santé,  et dont plusieurs demandes de remise en liberté avaient été refusées. Une victoire que des proches ont attribué… à Nicolas Sarkozy.

Alain Delon sur RMC a attribué la libération sous caution (3 millions d’euros tout de même) de Roman Polanski à l’activisme de Nicolas Sarkozy dans ce dossier.

Mathilde Seigner, belle soeur de Roman Polanski, dans les colonnes du Parisien-Aujourd’hui en France, nuance à peine: “Je n’irais pas jusqu’à dire que c’est grâce au président que Roman a été libéré. Mais il a été super. Et il l’a beaucoup soutenu. Le président a été très efficace.”

Frédéric Mitterrand, ministre de la Culture, avait précisé au début de l’affaire (et de la polémique qui avait aussitôt suivi) que Nicolas Sarkozy suivait le dossier “très attentivement”. D’après le JDD, il aurait appelé Barack Obama pour s’entretenir du dossier avec le président américain… sans succès car la procédure relève de la justice californienne.

Un soutien qui a payé?

Côté procédure judiciaire, les avocats du cinéaste ont l’intention de plaider la relaxe lors du procès en appel qui devrait se tenir à Los Angeles en décembre…

A lire sur LePost.fr:

- Polanski bientôt libre?
- Polanski: le courage de Bernard-Henri Levy
- Affaire Roman Polanski: le cinéaste sera-t-il relaxé le 10 décembre?

Woooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look who it is Kittens!!! Darwin, the Crudely Interupted mailbag mule is here!!!

We all know what that means don’t we? It’s time for a long overdue installment of the fan favorite Crudely Interupted mailbag!!

I must first apologize to you Kittens, as well to Darwin the mule. Several weeks and even recently re-settling has made it hard for your mail to find me, it isn’t that I don’t love answering your praise filled letters. So, with that let’s jump right in to the top of the pile and see what we have shall we?

Hey you Bastard Ass Clown,

Jimmy, Age 9 Toronto Canada

Geez Jimmy, I wish I didn’t have to be the one to tell you this but your whore mothers trick was right. Santa doesn’t exist. Well, that is only partially true. He doesn’t exist in the way that you know him. He isn’t a nice fat old jolly man that lives with Mrs Claus at the North Pole with some elf slaves who brings you toys. The toys you get at Christmas are the ones that your mother gets from charities and shoplifts.

The real Santa is a defrocked Catholic priest who lives under your bed who eats house pets and loves the taste of your nightmares. This is the real Santa.

While we are at it Jimmy, since you are going to find these things out eventually anyways, there is also no god, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Jesus, Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster, Han Solo, Hannah Montana or ice cream man without a criminal record.

I suggest you prepare yourself now for a life of sadness that is nothing more than one protracted kick in the balls after another as you realize that all of the beliefs that you hoped were true like justice for all are nothing more than packs of lies that other cheap swindlers besides your mother have told you to make behave yourself.

Well that was fun wasn’t it Kittens? Let’s keep going shall we?

Hey Dumbass,

Ben-Ben, Lansing Michigan

Hmmm….geez Ben-Ben until you asked I had no idea who Adam Lambert even is. I had to Google him. He does in fact seem very gay and in some deep trouble for trying to bum his band mate on live America television though. This seems odd to me since I am neither gay nor American and therefor thankfully have no idea who he is, that America who are celebrating their Thanksgiving today are upset about this considering they will be spending the day watching American football which is truly the gayest sport ever created. Grown men in tight capri pants and shoulder pads playing a game with rules like “unnecessary roughness”? “Ooooohh….that was rough, and unnecessary.” Gay.

I’m not sure if you have a shot with him Ben-Ben but he seems gayer than a Mazda Miata so I suggest you pack your bag(s) and go find yourself some gay love.

We never cease to learn new things here at Crudely Interupted Kittens. I had no idea who Adam Lambert was, or that he was gay. Humpf. Now I can go back to not caring at all about television.

On to the next letter then.

Hey Big Daddy,

Tickles the Touchy Clown, Location Withheld

Interesting question Tickles and may I say “ewwwwwwww.”

I must Tickles that the idea of letting a man who pleaded guilty having all sort of sex with a 13 year old girl against her will, was convicted of it and then ran away out of jail so he can sit around in a Swiss Chalet sipping brandy and watching DVD’s of his own movies with his friends doesn’t exactly seem like justice to me. Actually, it sounds like what happens when rich famous people go to jail. They usually get out.

He is under house arrest in Switzerland in his chalet. That isn’t arrest, that is a very nice vacation for the rest of us. He can still ski over to his local pub, buy some lovely Swiss cheese to fondue and will be surrounded by people bring him lots and lots of fresh 13 year old Swiss girls for his amusement. He has the money and means to escape if he wants, which he may or may not do because now that he is free to watch Swiss mud wrestling on a gigantic television in his home he will probably fight extradition until he dies. In Switzerland. In a chalet. On the Alps.

That isn’t exactly what I would call justice Tickles, and I assume if (when) you are arrested for a similar crime you will have a much harder time trying to find a judge to let you out of jail so you can go skiing while you prepare your case.

Now that I need a shower, let’s read a few more letters Kittens.

Hey Dickhead,

Frieda, San Diego California

Hey Frieda, thanks for caring. Right now I am replying to the flood of letters that we get here at the Mighty Crudely Interupted towers whilst listening to a good bit of music and pondering life.

Mostly though I am replying to the letters, thinking a few pints later on and listening to music since pondering life doesn’t take all that much ponder but just some planning about spending some many years an Atlantic ocean away far from here.

Oooooh….this looks like an interesting question. Let’s give this one a read Kittens.

Hey Douche.

Bernie, Bangor Maine

Bernie that is a good question because the media today just plain flat out sucks goat balls. I do have a few particularly hated ones but in all honesty just about every major news publication routinely bypasses real interesting news stories and instead reports on what celebrity is waving their crotch at a camerma these days.

There have however been two great examples by the same Toronto newspaper recently that have left me both baffled and ready to shit a chicken. The first one was written about in this very blog where the Toronto Star wrote a story in their Health section about how Cocoa Rice Krispies would not protect you from swine flu.
I truly thought that was the mother load. Boy was I wrong.

Today, the same paper has a story in their News section about how an insurance commercial isn’t going to be on television anymore, and that they are happy about that.

It wasn’t in their opinion section, or even in an editorial. it is in their fucking news section.

This, is news.

A commercial. Off the air.

Jesus tap dancing Christ.

Alrighty Kittens. Now that I have removed some of the letters that seem to contain either dead rat bits, some sort of ticking devices and anything addressed from a person with the stalkerrific catchy net handle WWGMD, let’s continue shall we?

Dearest Loser.

Name an location withheld

Ummm….yeah….thanks. I’ve been hearing quite a bit of that lately. Go figure. People are ust fucked I guess.

Okay then Kittens. We have time for one more…

Hey Big Daddy.

Brent. Ontario Canada.

Funny you should ask Ron. Aside from the stuff about my mother being a dirty poor gypsy that lives on welfare row (which you don’t have to just read, some people are kind enough to say it to your face) I would have to say something I read this very morning about a gang in Peru murdering some folks not for their healthy hearts, livers and kidneys so sick rich bastards (not Roman Polanski…I think) can use them for transplants like Steve Jobs, but for their FAT.

From The New York Times

Peru’s Police Say Gang Drained Victims’ Fat

All three are charged with homicide, criminal conspiracy, illegal firearms possession and drug trafficking, according to a statement from Lima Superior Court.

There you have it Brent and the rest of my Kittens.

Murdering people so their fat can be used on withering old peoples faces to look younger.

Just when you thought you had heard the worst of what humanity has to offer up, and I’m not talking about the gypsy crack, you have people who are willing to kill for fat, and others willing to pay for it.

I suppose the only question is, why poor Peruvians?

Have you seen Americans lately? They’re fucking gigantic!!

Massive hulking leviathans of redundant protoplasm wandering around malls stuffing icing sugared sausage waffle sandwiches into their faces with one hand and a super sized soda in the other.

Poor Peruvians aren’t chunky. Sure they are poor, live in a foreign land that nobody really cares about so when they disappear it isn’t really a big deal, but really, why them?

You’d have to squeeze plenty poor Peruvians to get the same amount of human fat out of just one average American.

Hell, today is their Thanksgiving and they are celebrating the genocide of their natives by stuffing food into more food and sitting on the couch? These killers should go to America and kill off a few of these pricks for their fat.

I have to admit it Kittens, whenever Americans kill each other, I don’t mind very much. Actually I am usually slightly relieved. You now, just one or two of them less to annoy me. I don’t own stock in any of their fast food restaurants so I don’t feel the pain of losing a customer or anything like that.

My suggestion to the gang who has been killing these people is to do exactly what Roman Polanski did. Make bail and find somebody to chew your ankle bracelt off. Then really freak Lou Dobbs out and make your way to America so you can find a nice squishy American family sitting down to their Thanksgiving day feast….and kill them so you can steal their fat.

You will get a lot of it so bring plenty of buckets, and that is just what you will find hanging off of Mom and Dads necks. They might squeal a little bit when you are getting them out of their casings but it will be worth it. Just be prepared for the smell because unlike the stereotype they do not smell at all like wet dog but more like deep fried bacon dipped in gravy and light beer.

Please however be sure to sell it to the greediest, sickest most impossibly vain horrifying humans ever who actually think that rubbing human ass fat on their faces makes them more attractive and appealing. You may be pleasantly surprised to know that you will never run out of customers because just like fat Americans, people will always be horrible and will stop at nothing to look like something they are not.

There you have it Kittens. I thought it would be nice to end todays Mailbag on a nice uplifting story for a change.

Have a lovely day and Jimmy, check under your bed tonight. Mommy isn’t coming home till late and Santa is hungry for your tears.

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