Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

Tomorrow, I am making use of the American so called Black Friday. I’m going to get two dresses from House of Bias and some other lovely thing, and since the dollar is so weak + the sale is on, it’s going to feel so good. And I’ve got something very blasphemous ordered yesterday.

Essays are getting written and I don’t really have the attention span to write on two blogs in the same time.
But I would like to make a quick note of a couple of awesome experiences that I’ve had lately:

A very rewarding beginners bondage workshop with London’s own Esinem. A full day of ropetalk and tying. What not to like is there, really?!
Esinem works from the codex of ‘tie people, not parcels’. That means that it is the interaction with the involved that matters, actions and reactions. Tying people, not on armlenghts distance but being close. Expressing, with rope, the connection. Not talking about Two Knotty Boys here, but the oh so wonderful ways of connecting with ropebunny.

So, while he was learning us single and double column ties, he also spoke and showed us ways to keep the connection, keep it flowing and basically, keeping it hot and exciting. There was tricks there that suddenly fell into place, but at some points I also fell flat. Because suddenly a two column tie seemed like the toughest thing in the whole world. I react in the same way when going to a dance class. I concentrate so much on following the steps that I can’t do it at all. Very frustrating.
But as the day went on and more and more jute fluff flew around in the room I relaxed. A very nice relaxed lunch was topped with some videos with the work of Osada Steve, but also some of the work that Esinem himself has done. Here is an example of what I see is a very strong performance, using bondage in a provocative,political, thoughtful, creative and downright amazing way.

Anyhow, after some well deserved lunch we continued, and in the end of the day there was even some time to try out a chest-harness. Before that I decided to do some self-bondage and it became something really nice that I know enjoy a lot as an activity. In regards to the chest-harness I must admit that I only came halfway, but that halfway through a chestharness gave me more thoughts and insights that any other has done so far.
I can recommend the course, and if you feel that a beginners course is a bit to simple for you ( I would love to do the same again so I could frame everything better and practice with more supervision!) there is alos a intermediate course and a advanced.  It’s well worth the money, Esinem teaches very well, give you tips, insights, inspiration, and you will have a lot of fun.

A couple of days later I attended a peer-rope workshop. Which was also amazing. A sunday afternoon and evening and the hours flew by all to fast. Watched some wonderful ropework being done, including a lot of suspensions.  Did again some self-bondage, got some help with that, then had a really beautiful spiderharness done, and in the end having very fun with an amazing woman. We hid a bit, found a calm space with dimmed lightning and sat down on the floor. And this is where I keep coming back to. Those 20, 30 minutes with her. Because afterwards, my legs were shaking, I was giggly and calm in the same time. And I had been the one doing the tying. Not since this summer I had felt anything like it (yes, I miss Korrosion) and it made me love the event even more. So, if you are in London, like rope, not busy on a sunday,  check if the peer-rope is happening and go.

Last, but certainly not least. A new shining star on the club sky in London. Crimson is so fucking good. With a focus on the playspace, they must be the most well-equiped playclub in th U.K with at least two suspensionframes, numerous crosses, spankingbenches, a spitroast, bondagebed, medical play area, etc, etc. There is always space to play, but still very easy to be social and feel relaxed. All in all, it feels like a very, very big houseparty that is so kinky that it would make your jaw drop. Next one will be in february and I will be there.

//

V

It is that time of year, here in this part of the world, to give thanks for, well, everything. Gratitude is an incredible force in my life. I have been given the opportunity to do, be and explore so much in my life, especially over the last year and a half. I often joke about thanking certain people for “getting me into this” or pointing me down this road or showing me just how good it feels. This week, however, I am making it a point to honestly thank those people who have enabled me to live this life. There are a lot of people who helped me get this far, and who constantly encourage me to keep going. There are also people that I am grateful to, who have no idea where their support and teaching has allowed me to go. I thank them to, though more quietly and tactfully.

I am grateful to my husband for taking this journey with me. I am grateful to the one who took us to our first demonstration. I am grateful to the one who invited us to our first poly meeting. I am grateful to the one who invited us to our first dungeon and hosted my first kinky birthday celebration. I am grateful to the one who took me to my first Practice. I am grateful to the one who taught me the love of rope and the joy of suspension. I am grateful to the one who showed me how beautiful I am. I am grateful to those who welcomed us into this community. I am grateful to those who have brought love into my family. I am grateful to those who have taught me about myself. I am grateful to those who have accepted who I am. I am grateful to those who have listened and those who have offered advice. I am grateful to live in a time and a place where I can live my life however I chose.

Thank you for reading my blog.

Warmth Turns To Passion

The Chef & The meal

This is the beginning of a new tool I’ll be using to train. I’m getting some climbing webbing and will use it to pull a fully loaded tire. Sand and other objects to make it heavy. This will work my arms, lower back, shoulders, legs and my cardiovascular system for sure!

Otto on the move.

happy thanksgiving every one, here are some tied up birds enjoy!!

Scarlett in G.I.Joe America’s Elite issues #5-7. Art by Nelson Blake II and Stefano Caselli.

Wonder Woman in the opening arc 2006 volume of her title, starting with issue #1. Art by Terry Dodson.

Issue #3

Issue #4

Wonder Woman, in her strip running in Wednesday Comics, issue 10. Art by Ben Caldwell.

Doms or subs – who has the better deal?

Well, subs, obviously. Der. Because as a sub(/bottom/whatever), you get to:

• Lie down, or at least slump against something. (Oftentimes the burden of supporting your own weight is thoughtfully alleviated by ropes and restraints)
• Not do any work (unless service is your thing, but we’ll leave that out of this for the moment)
• Not think
• Be the recipient of sensation
• Forget about your everyday responsibilities
• Get high on endorphins
• Collapse in a big heap after a big session and drool

Seriously, what’s not to love? Why, why, why would anyone want to be on top?

At the beginning of this year, Whipslave wrote (somewhat jokingly) in his Livejournal that being a domme must suck. I totally knew what he meant. He was talking about the way that the sub gets to feel a whole bunch of sensations, while the domme remains unmarked (and, as is insinuated, unmoved).

My take on it is slightly different. See, in my opinion, in any scenario where there are two people and one of them is doing physical labour, I’d take the role of the slacker any day. Sure, I see the benefits of doing work, which is why I do do some occasionally, but it’s not exactly my idea of a good time.

Laziness aside, there’s also subspace. A dreamy, soothing, surreal, headspace that comes to me when I submit. Out of body. Better than drugs. Escapism in its most extreme form – escaping from inside your own head.

I once asked Dragongirl if, being a domme, it was stressful being responsible for another person’s wellbeing. She said she puts her own responsibilities aside so as to focus wholly on the other person, so it’s actually quite liberating. I found this answer to be very insightful and quite lovely.

Still, it wasn’t enough to push the concept of topping from the cerebral to the visceral. My first attempts at caning and flogging were enjoyable, but not transcendently so. Not bad, but not good enough to even approach the joy I had experienced through submission.

But for those who’ve been paying attention to this blog, you’ll know by now that my thoughts on the subject of topping have changed. I guess it was a matter of finding the right person, but also coming into a place in life where I’m comfortable with myself and also a bit more confident.

Recently I’ve been playing privately with a marvellous man, and I feel that I’ve rediscovered BDSM – I’m seeing it through fresh eyes. It’s mostly all new to him, and I’m picking up on his excited energy, but beyond that, I’m realising that ‘submissive’ isn’t so much the bedrock of all that I am, but a label that is, as all labels are, not quite accurate.

I gave it a name a long time ago because it seemed to fit. And it did for a long time – expressing myself as a submissive for the first time was like coming home. This part of myself, this dark, weird, kinked bit, the part that made me different and which I eventually came to love – this part will never change. Freak, weirdo, creep.

But I’m discovering that this same strange dark energy can be directed outwards; externalised. I suppose this is not much of a newsflash to a seasoned switch, but for me this has been a massive revelation.

The same headspace I’m used to experiencing as a submissive was there to greet me when I broke through the fearful barriers I had up that were preventing me from truly letting go as a top. (I was scared about hurting people, and worried that I would be judged for not being perfectly skilled or expert). But god, the rush! The joy! The trembling bigness of it, pushing into my head, breathing through me, laughing, laughing.

And the love. Coming from a place of love – this has been the key. Hurting someone because they love to be hurt and because you love to hurt them. (A sinister extension of the old adage ‘to love and be loved in return’). Certainly, I knew about this from being submissive, but I didn’t realise it went the other way. This is what I kink hardest on – the loving closeness of it, the emotional rawness, the sheer, perfect, pure beauty that is trust.

Stoking his hair while pinching his nipples. Kissing the welted red marks seared across his skin. Giving him all the time he needs to recover but not backing down on that final stroke, because it must be done, it will be done, and besides, neither of us has a say in it anymore, because we’ve been sucked into the passing slipstream of a greater thing, a monster, a god.

Oh. Oh my.

It’s heady. Standing there, watching him writhe, grimace, gasp, sweat and swear and choke, and yet stick his arse back out for me, determined to follow through. Watching with wonder as his pain blossoms into bliss. Guiding him to a place he’s never been. Leading him through blindness, through darkness; pushing him, but never leaving his side.

There are some practical things I’ve also discovered.

Blindfolds, for instance. As a submissive, I always felt a bit selfish and greedy for wanting to be blindfolded. For it envelops you in your own world of sensation – it makes you disappear deep inside of yourself to the point where you’re nearly hiding. I never understood how blindfolds could be enjoyable for the person on top, but now I do. First of all, since I know what a pleasure it is, it makes me hot to be able to supply that pleasure for another. Beyond that, I love the way it makes them go all loose and compliant. They get distracted inside their enchanted pleasure world, while you can do just about anything you want with their body. You can extract your own pleasure from their body while they’re incapacitated. You can shed your identity. You can act in a way that’s out of character – you can be anyone, anything.

I’ve also realised that of course you don’t have to be an expert, and it’s perfectly all right to make it up as you go along. Better, even. Because BDSM is all about energy exchange – and if you were to stick to a carefully choreographed routine you’d be missing the point. See, it’s not you who is doing these crazy, sadistic things. I didn’t realise that being a top is about letting go, too. You have to let the control freak inside you slide, and play things by ear. Let the energy go where it wants to go.

Bringing it back to my being lazy, I can now see that being on top is actually sometimes less effort than being submissive. You don’t have to go through a physical ordeal in order to reap the benefits, because the energy is shared. They take the pain while you leech off the beautiful intensity playing out over their face, their skin. Also you don’t have to keep thinking about new, creative, evil things to do to them – because they’ll just happen. No need to write a thesis about it – just do. And watch, awestruck, as it unfolds.

I’ll always, always love submitting, and I still do. But topping has given it an added richness, for which I’m grateful. Because I’d reached a bit of a dead end with my kink, but it’s been revived, set on fire. I’m alive.

Last Tuesday night, I grabbed a friend, and off we went, intent to find out what happens when you combine burlesque and fetish models, with rope, music and eager artists. In a small side-door off 100 Ossington, lies the Keyhole Sessions studio. We find a spot near the back of the surprisingly crowded studio. Behind a sheer curtain to my left I can see models primping and stretching. It’s very warm – which is to be expected when you combine nudity with this many people – and there is a general buzz of excitement in the air.

The session starts out with a single model, clad in a pink and black sexy kitten look, and a number of quick one-minute poses. It was great to be thrown in the deep end of figurative drawing again. The low-down-dirty tones of the Pink Panther theme play from the iPod speakers at the back of the room. Otherwise, the room is silent, except for scribbling pencils.

The first half rounds out with a 15 minute, classic pinup pose. As I’m putting the finishing touches on the model’s nipple tassels, I hear ‘TIME’! After a short intermission, we’re back…and out comes the rope. Of course, as mentioned, it is the fine work of in-house rigger, JP Robichaud . This time there are two models, clad fedoras and chest harnesses. The session climaxed (pun totally intended…c’mon, have we met??) in a two model pose, with arm binding, a blindfold and both on their knees. Hot.

All in all, totally worth the price of admission. The season wraps up next Tuesday December 1st with an extended session. Go! Draw! Maybe I’ll see you there.

-Nerdy Girl

Visit the Keyhole Sessions website here

Some of my work:

It’s been since Monday since my last booking. It is now Friday. I am not pleased. There should not be such a big gap in bookings. I need to find a new marketing strategy. You’d think it’d be easy for me considering. At least I have one tonight.

Monday is Japanese Bondage day. A new potential client is flying in to London Monday and wants to use some Japanese breast bondage for him to enjoy. He purchased some nice rope from India that he says I may have afterwards.

‘[ .... many of the ladies were very highly sexual, but were (still are!)  very 'horsey'-types - loved horses and spent most of their lives sitting on them... many of them looked like Prince Charles' wife -  Camilla]

….   but they would only fuck each other if it “didn’t frighten the horses“

I hope you and I using the rope won’t frighten the horses either … you are going to love it…’

We all know that Dyneema is an amazing material, being both strong and low in stretch. For those of us who are really, and I mean REALLY interested in rope, there is more to Dyneema than you may think. The standard grade of Dyneema for many years was SK 75. This was very low in stretch, strong, but had a problem with creep. Creep is long term/ non recoverable elongation and can be a problem in some applications. A few years ago DSM (the makers of Dyneema) introduced SK 78, which had about half the creep of SK 75. This was a great improvement, but still not good enough to compete with Vectran and Kevlar in sailmaking and long length rigging applications. This week at METS in Amsterdam, DSM had announced their newest grade, SK 90. The advantages here are a 12-15% increase in strength and a 15-20% increase in modulus over SK 75. The fact of creep still remains an issue for Dyneema, but initial stretch will be greatly reduced. It will be interesting to see how this fiber reacts for pre stretching as SK 75 does. At this point I know that most US rope makers will have the fiber by the end of the year and many European producers are already working with it. It turns out that SK 90 was heavily used by Alinghi in the last Cup, so the product is well tested.

Below is the press release from DSM

Dyneema® SK90 raises performance standards for yacht racing

Amsterdam,NL,17-Nov-2009

Today, at the METS exhibition, customers of DSM Dyneema launch products made with Dyneema® SK90, an even stronger fiber grade pushing the boundaries of light weight and extreme strength. Dyneema® SK90 enables sailing teams to streamline rigging performance. Ropes designed with higher modulus (resistance to stretch) Dyneema® SK90 offers increased direct control and less energy absorption allowing a precise trim control and an efficient rigging experience. In addition, the lighter weight of the grade helps reduce the load above the waterline, an overriding goal of professional sailors. The technically advanced fiber, proven in world class competition, was designed for extreme performance, tested by world leading manufacturers and approved by top-notch sailing teams. Ropes made with Dyneema® SK90 are proven in demanding sailing environments such as the Americas Cup where team Alinghi managed to successfully defend their title and the Dutch sailors Marceline & Lobke who won a medal in the 470 class during the Olympic Games in China. “DSM’s innovations helped us to get great results,” says Lobke Berkhout, Olympic Sailing Athlete. “Dyneema® SK90 offered peace-of-mind performance during the last Olympic games.” “We are honored to provide professional sailing teams with the latest technology available to help them to perform at their very best during the most challenging sailing events in the world,” says Marcel Alberts, Marketing Manager Sports, DSM Dyneema. “We look forward to meet and exceed the future demands of today’s top sailing teams and support them in their most challenging sporting events.”

The gal and I just came back from the GTA Rope Social, a monthly event in which kinky folk get together to fuck around with rope: a demo, some hands-on practice and some socializing. It’s not a play party, no scenes, just… practice.

The people out and about in the kink scene are very gregarious, but it’s a bit of departure for me. I find myself have to balance my shy, introverted tendencies with the desire to get out there and meet people. It’s getting easier, though, and it turns out that, as well as getting my rocks off, it’s having a therapeutic effect for latent social anxieties.

We’ve been going to a few munches with a group called Toronto TNG and meeting some cool people. A couple months back we went to a private play party at someone’s house, a friend having got us on the guest list. That was pretty strange, not entirely enjoyable. We chose to go because of the invite and the opportunity to break the ice of playing in public: it was a femdom party, and we don’t have a D/S dynamic in our relationship. Also, my gal’s a bit reticent when it comes to taking the reins, so I was having to whisper shit to tell her what to do while trying to make it look like her idea — house rules states that men were not supposed to speak out of turn, take a domineering role, etc. We also tried playing in one of the dungeon play spaces, but found people crowding too close while waiting for their turn, talking too loudly about taxes and home renos, and generally being inconsiderate douchebags. Tacky! But good to get out and demystify some of this world of public kink.

In October we went to NorthBound Leather’s Tribe party; if you live in Toronto, you’ve doubtless seen the flyers featuring a guy in a black leather, spiked hood posted all over town. It’s the world’s single biggest fetish party, hosted at the Sound Academy and with over 4,000 in attendance. My gal said it reminded her a lot of Fashion Cares: snazzy DJ, massive and elaborate fashion show, booze and dancing. Seems that, for a lot of people, “fetish” is a matter of style rather than sexual practice: a lot of people there, especially the gay men, were decked out in leather harnesses and whatnot but expressed ambivalence about kinky sex. There was a public play space set up there, and we spent some time there, joined by a friend who lent some helping hands. It’s incredible to see the range of outfits and personae that people adopt at an event of this scale: wildly creative, totally banal, formulaic, original, slutty, uptight, classy — it’s quite the carnival.

We’ve also been playing privately with a third. Not going to get too much into that here, other than to say it’s been a great experience. While I’m touched by all the concerned friends who think that bringing a third to bed is dropping a bomb in the relationship, I assure you that the worry is unfounded. The partner has been wonderful and has shared our curiosity and willingness to explore the dynamics of three-way play and sex, and I’m delighted to report that it’s been going every bit as well as I had hoped.

The challenge in coming months will be to balance interest and growing commitment to the scene with work, school and life — not to mention the impending return to schooltown in January for the next bout of learnin’.

Edit (19 November): there was a glitch when I first posted this blog and the line “We chose to go because of the invite and the opportunity to break the ice of playing in public” was repeated four times at the bottom of the post. Odd, and a little eerie, that that line amongst all the others should have been chosen and repeated like some creepy mantra.

09/07/09

Video by: Baxtersunderbite

This video is also viewable at: MySpaceTV | DailyMotion

Upcoming on Team Perv….

Tuesday November 17th – We’re at the Keyhole Sessions! Sexy, edgy models, rope and loads of attitude. Grab a sketch pad, and come on out to the Lower Ossington Theatre. See website for details.

Reviews! We’re working furiously (hehe) to review all the lube we can get our (sometimes greasy) hands on! Stay tuned for what’s best to get (and keep) you slick and sliding!

Savannah, Georgia. ©Calvin Palmer 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Zeiss Planar T*, ISO 640, 1/100sec, f/4, Canon 40D.

© Photographer | Agency: Dreamstime.com

Description:
Free Stock Photo Bright pinky Orange Sea buoy.
keywords:
beach, buoy, fishing, float, mooring, orange, pink, rope, sand, sea, tether, water

I’m still feeling the after-effects of an insanely busy show this past weekend.

For those of you who stopped in to say ‘hello!’ – Thank You!! It was great seeing some old friends and meeting new ones! Especially my wonderfully supportive TNGers, I don’t know what I would’ve done without you guys. I was a little worried when there was but a small handful of us on Friday, and didn’t see the swarm come in until late evening pouring over into Saturday!

Doing fifteen suspensions in 2.5 days is exhausting, especially when you’re included in those numbers. It was a pleasure suspending previous bottoms I had suspended, giving a good friend her first suspension, and even teaching a few new friends some basic techniques! I even tied some innocent bystanders that seemed overly curious about rope bondage. It was the first time I had done a self suspension in a vanilla setting for hundreds of people that cycled through the dungeon. I rarely tie my chest into self suspensions as it’s too constricting to manoeuver in it once I’m tied. However, I tried a few different techniques and did a variation of a futomomo-tsuri and a regular inversion. I was terribly nervous before the weekend began, but a very kind gift from one of my mentors helped ease some of those fears. The note of encouragement was truly touching – words can’t truly convey my gratitude. I can assure you that the rope was well used and felt wonderful in my hands!

The air was cold on dry on Friday and the speed at which I was pulling my ropes was fast as usual. The combined dry cold air managed to crack my knuckles and opened some old wounds which dripped blood on some of my rope. No permanent harm done, I threw a bottle of hand cream into the duffle bag for the next day.

One of my ‘rope’ friends also convinced me to purchase one of her amazing hand-crafted leather strap-on harnesses. I’m the proud new owner of a beautiful white leather harness from Aslan Leather and a silver dildo to match of course! There were two distinct responses from the men that saw me sporting a silver cock on Saturday. They either glanced and quickly glanced away shielding their eyes, or they overtly gawked and continuously stared. It was really quite hilarious! My very first strap-on, and a blog post to be added in the future regarding its purpose…

All in all it was a great weekend, even though I had really no idea what to expect! Thank you Master John and Lady J for orchestrating the masses of volunteers and demonstrations! It was a pleasure meeting and working with you both this weekend!

Now we’re back to my wonderfully vanilla life, and a long work week ahead.