ill add more later, after my internet starts working faster. i have 10 favorites to put on here

Ich hoffe natürlich sehr, dass diese Hosen noch lieferbar sind. Die kauf ich dann nämlich sofort. Klar. 19 Dollar Fünfundneunzich, Mensch und für die Hälfte mehr ne lebenslange Garantie drauf. Ich dreh durch. ( via superpunch)

Norris and his facial hair have teamed up with Gameloft to launch their own iPhone game, Chuck Norris: Bring the Pain.

source @ www.kotaku.com

1. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

2. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
3. Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.
4. Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
5. If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
6. Chuck Norris once threated to sue Burger King because they refused to make it his way. When asked what “his way” detailed, he replied: “with barbed wire and nails, of course”. He then roundhouse kicked the reporter for even asking.
7. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

8. Chuck Norris’ evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard’s curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk.

9. Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot-outs. When a director once said he couldn’t, he replied, “Of course I can, I’m Chuck Norris,” and roundhouse kicked him in the face.

10. Chuck Norris never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Chuck”.

Content borrowed from different websites!

When Chuck Norris falls in water,

Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet.

Water gets Chuck Norris…

Vía: Chuck Norris Facts

In a world of choices, for one man there is no choice . . . he must face THE OCTAGON

Chuck Norris, Lee Van Cleef, Roundhouse Kick, Ninjas. O que se pode pedir mais?  Chuck Norris é a super-estrela deste filme que relata as aventuras de um mercenário que têm de enfrentar uma super organização chefiada pelo seu  meio-irmão. Sendo que Chuck e o tal de irmão são os únicos que sabem a arte ninja, a organização treina mercenários nessa mesma arte. Chuck e seu fiel compinha Lee Van Cleef começam a investigar onde se encontra sediada o campo de treinos da dita cuja, Após algumas cenas de perseguição, interrogatórios, falsas promessas e mais Roundhouse Kicks que palavras no dicionário, eis que descobrem a base na América do Sul, ai para os lados do Texas. Então o confronto final toma conta do ecrã, num festival de pancadaria, shurikens, Katanas e pontápes nas trombas. Um espectáculo. De Eric Karson, com Karen Clarson, Art Hindle, Carol Bagdasian, Tadashi Yamashita, Kim Lankford, Richard Norton e Kurt Grayson.

Tu disseste que o Marco Paulo sem Permamente é mais Bonito? Repete lá isso.

Mais vale ver o programa do Goucha

Um corajoso entrevistador aceitou o desafio de confrontar Chuck Norris.

Para quem não sabe, Chuck Norris virou uma celebridade na web, após o surgimento dos “Fatos sobre Chuck Norris”:

- Chuck Norris não liga o chuveiro. Ele o encara até fazer ele chorar.

- Chuck Norris não coloca gasolina no carro. Ele diz “corra” e o carro sai correndo.

Com a fama de invencível, ele virou uma celebridade na web, na Desciclopédia e em todo o canto.

Click here to watch Chuck Norris kick some ass

Women can't resist him because of his beard, big muscles and large amount of body hair, and the fact that he never cries.

Determination and discipline are keywords for martial arts expert Chuck Norris.

One thing Chuck Norris can and will not tolerate, is a bully who don't respect authority. He will hunt you down and stare at you with his fists clenched. Then, unless you get on your knees and beg for mercy, he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

If he sees a grizzly bear, he attacks.

He works out for two hours every day on his exercise machine system "Total Gym" which he invented himself.

Chuck Norris is a 6 times karate world champion. He invented his own martial art: Chun Kuk Do. And he holds an 8th degree Black Belt Grand Master recognition in the Tae Kwon Do martial arts system.

Today has been pretty darn good, I’m bloomin’ knackered from all the marching around.

I was impressed with Universal Studios, the Terminator and Mummy Returns rides being my favourites. A special mention for The Simpsons one too. We got countless daft photos with famous characters including one of me, Shaggy and Scooby Doo holding Simon much in the way he jumps into other people’s arms. Beetlejuice was a cool fella ‘n all. Some taggings to be had on Facebook shortly.

Simon went on to Santa Barbara when we got back and I’ll catch up with him there in a couple of days. So I’m on my Jack Jones (saw his Walk of Fame thingy star before) for a bit again now.

Speaking of the Hollywood stars pavement slabs, my collection is coming along nicely. I’m dividing it into 2 sections: greats and quirky/funny. A couple of examples of the former are Jack Lemmon and Jimmy Stewart and for the latter, Frankie Laine and Henry Winkler. I’m tracking Chuck Norris so he’d better get those roundhouse kicks of his on the go.

Also, did you know you have to pay 25 large just to get one of the star slabs? That’s why Clint Eastwood doesn’t have one and Britney Spears does, he said do one punk (or somet similar).

The facillities at the hostel are pretty good. The last 2 days I’ve been playing some basketball (I played Horse against 2 lads and was close to winning the first game but it soon went downhill) and then using the gym, I say gym, it’s consists of some dumbells and a sit-up bench but it does the trick well enough.

I’ve been eating quite well the past couple of days. It takes a while to find a routine with that sort of stuff when travelling, but after a while you realise it’s pretty easy. So with all the excercise too I’m feeling relatively healthy.

Saying that a mixture of the sun and tiredness has caused me to get a big ruddy coldsore; just before I was having my pic taken regularly with Lisa Simpson and the like, great. Thank buggery for Photoshop eh. If a geezer/sheezer was to find a permanent cure for this swine of a disease I have, then I tell you readers, I’d offer them a damn firm handshake, a damn firm one.

I was amused before when I got an email from the San Diego hostel enquiring (in a nice manner to be fair) why I described their staff as being Gestapo like in my Hostel World review. The answer being because they were (though maybe it was a tad harsh), I won’t bore you with the individual incidents.

As I only have 1 proper full day left in LA I’m going to go on a city tour tomorrow organised by the hostel. At $60 it’s pretty pricey for what it is (the stuff is all free to see anyway) and doesn’t do my budget any good. I’m going to make an exception this time though as it’s the only way I will fit stuff in.

With regards to the pic, for some reason Wayne Rooney and Ruud Van Nistelrooy were knocking about the studios, most likely filming a new ’soccer’ boot advert for Hi-Tec or something. Reluctantly I said hello.

Over folks. Watch your back Norris.

¡Enfríen sus sus cervezas! Hoy brindamos por el más Bad-ass de los actores que haya pasado por Hollywood.

A cotninuación, algunos de mis “Chuck Norris Facts” favoritos :

- The French did not send the Statue of Liberty to the United States as a sign of peace. They were trying to win a bet that Chuck Norris couldn’t fuck a one-hundred-fifty-foot-tall copper woman. Boy, they were wrong.

- Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fucking another.

- Chuck Norris drives an ice-cream truck covered in human skulls.

- Chuck Norris invented the Spanish language because he liked the word pantalones and needed a language to use in context.

- Chuck Norris is just like Jesus, except Chuck Norris won’t die for your sins. Instead, you’ll die for his.

- Chuck Norris has won every contest that he’s entered. Even Miss Nude Wisconsin

- There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And fear itself fears Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris doesn’t need a weapon. he IS one.

Y, por supuesto, uno alusivo a su nacimiento:

- When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, “Holy crap! That’s Chuck Norris!” Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third woman he had slept with.

This saddens me.

President Barack Obama retook the oath of office on Wednesday because of a miniscule slip up during his inauguration. That’s right. One missplaced word and everyone is flipping their shit.  The new administration is so worried that, because of this mistake, the general public will doubt the legitimacy of his presidency.

And the sad thing is that they’re probably right to do so.  You can just see the chain e-mails being formed in the extreme shallow ends of the American gene pool:

“OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DID YUO KNOW THAT BARKAC OBAMMA IS NOT REALLY THE PERSIDENT OF THE USA?!?!?!?!  BECAUSE HE MESSED UP ON HIS OATHS OF OFFICE HE IS UNABLE TO BECOME THE PREZ!!!! WHAT EVERYONE SHOULD DO IS RIGHT THERE CONGRESSMEN AND LET THEM KNOW NOT TOO TAKE ORDERS FORM THIS ILLIGITIMATE PREZIDENT!!!!!!  SEND THIS E-MAIL TO AT LEAST 10 PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST AND LET THEM KNOW ABOUT THIS TRAVISTY OF JUSTICE!!!!!!!! gOD BLESS AMERCA!!!!!!!11

Let’s just ignore that the 20th Amendment specifically states in section 1:

“The terms of the President and Vice President shall end at noon on the 20th day of January, and the terms of Senators and Representatives at noon on the 3d day of January, of the years in which such terms would have ended if this article had not been ratified; and the terms of their successors shall then begin.”

And since the Inauguration was running behind schedule anyway (I’m looking at you, Yo-Yo Ma) Obama was technically president before he took the oath.  I’m no constitutional scholar, but I take this to mean that, had he wanted to, Obama could have run up to the podium, karate chopped the Lincoln Bible in half, roundhouse kicked Chief Justice John Roberts in the chest, and declared himself the President of The United States of I-Just-Rocked-Your-World.

Best.  Inauguration. Ever.

OMG..! That was awsome…

Akhir-akhir ini di kampus saya, khususnya di lingkungan teknik Elektro ITB, banyak sekali yang membicarakan mengenai Chuck Norris. Ada apa? tidak ada apa-apa sebenarnya dengan saudara Chuck Norris tersebut, hanya banyak bermunculan “fakta-fakta aneh” yang “boleh percaya boleh tidak” mengenai Chuck Norris. Ini salah satu contoh:

“Google won’t search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.“

Adalah saya dan saudara Arya Antaputra(baca: BeEl) ketika masih di Radiokampus ITB membaca buku The Alphabets of Manliness. Dalam salah satu bab di buku itu dibahas mengenai Chuck Norris. Dalam buku tersebut, dideskripsikan sosok jati diri Chuck Norris secara hiperbolic, oleh karena itu saya menyebut lelucon-lelucon mengenai fakta Chuck Norris sebagai hiperbolic based humors.

Dari situ saya dan BeEl mulai mengumpulkan ‘fakta’ mengenai Chuck Norris dari Internet. Gilanya, sampai ada web site yang menyediakan Random Chuck Norris Facts Generator! Saya mulai menggunakan facts tersebut sebagai status YM, kemudian mempromosikan abang Chuck Norris ini ke beberapa teman, khususnya di lingkungan subjurusan Teknik Komputer ITB. Alhasil, virus Chuck Norris mulai menyebar, banyak teman yang sekarang menggunakan Chuck Norris’s facts sebagai status YM

Here’s some of my favorites:

“There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.”

“Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.”

“Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.”

“Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.”

“There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.”

“Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.”

“Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.”

“Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.”

“Chuck Norris can divide by zero.”

“When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.”

“When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.”

“In the beginning there was nothing…then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.”

“Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.”

“Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.”

“A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer”

“Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.”

“Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.”

“As President Roosevelt said: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris.” “

so, which is yours?

So I went to kickboxing Monday, and let me tell you: it’s intense.

Here is a good article that breaks down how usual kickboxing classes work and what to do and not do (it’s a women’s site, but kickboxing is a great workout for men, too).

So the class began; about 40 other girls and I were punching and boxer shuffling before we knew it. We hardly warmed up and it was non-stop the entire hour. There were only two, VERY short, water breaks. Then, in the middle of the workout, the instructor starting screaming “Turbo!” which shocked all of us. Apparently, we weren’t going fast enough, so turbo means doing kickboxing double-time. (For you non-musical readers, double-time means twice as fast as the beat of the music — and since the music was techno, it was already really fast.)

It was a jumble of chaos. Everyone was going in different directions and kicking and punching at different times. It gave me a headache and my face was so red that the instructor had to come over and make sure I was alright — that was not embarrassing at all.

So far, it has not done much for my coordination — probably since as I was falling over during half of the class. However, I am in a lot of pain and according to the instructor of the class, that means it’s working — joy.

Despite everything, it was fun. I learned how to do a roundhouse kick, like Chuck Norris, and how to move and punch and kick simultaneously!

I am definitely feeling it, but I’ll probably go back next week.

I found this list of safety tips for kickboxing that my instructor didn’t tell me — it’s only for kickboxing with a partner, but it could be helpful…

UPDATE: If anything, my coordination has only gotten worse. Today, I made soup and a glass of water for lunch and it ended up all over my kitchen. Basically, I spilt the water, thought I had wiped it all up, and slipped on a puddle while carrying the soup. By the time I finished mopping up all of the hot and cold liquids, I wasn’t very hungry anymore.

Por Bruna Torres

Chuck Norris não fica molhado, a água fica Chuck Norris. Essa é uma das frases sobre Chuck Norris, o ator e lutador de artes-marciais norte-americano. Existe um site, Chuck Norris Facts, que também fala dessas frases, e ainda sobre as preferidas dele.

Famoso pelo chute circular, conhecido como Roundhouse Kick, Chuck Norris vai ter um jogo para celular, produzido pela Gameloft. Ispirado no site Chuck Norris Facts, Chuck Norris: Bring on the Pain, nome do game, vai trazer o valentão para enfrentar diversas pessoas com o intuito de “vencer o comunismo”. Alguns exemplos de inimigos são Fidel Castro e o ditador norte-coreano Kim Jong-il.

No game, o jogador poderá inserir rostos de pessoas nos personagens que vão lutar contra Chuck Norris. Essa é uma ótima  oportunidade para colocar aquela pessoa que você adoraria dar uma voadora, mas não tem coragem. Aproveitem e deixem que Norris faça o trabalho sujo.

O Roundhouse Kick é um golpe de Karatê (Mawashi Gueri) ou de Taekwondo (Tuyio Mondolyo Rurio Tchagui) em que o atacante move a perna num movimento circular, batendo no adversário com a perna ou pé. De acordo com a Desciclopédia, Chuck Norris é o único que pode aplicar o golpe lendário do estilo Chun Kuk Do, o Roundhouse Kick (Cliquem para ver o vídeo, não deu pra postar ele aqui). Eu  levei um desse golpe na orelha, e dei na cabeça de um colega, na época em que praticava Karatê, mas espero que o Norris não saiba! Rs!

Bring on the Pain promete trazer o senso de humor irônico dos internautas em diversos sites que falam sobre o ídolo das artes marciais. A previsão é de que o game saia ainda este mês.

Para descontrair um pouco, entrem aqui, digitem Find Chuck Norris e cliquem em Estou com Sorte. Vejam o que aparece. Pode ser old para alguns, mas vale a pena ver de novo.

]]> http://thelittlestwinslow.wordpress.com/2008/07/30/how-the-hell-did-walker-texas-ranger-last-for-9-seasons/ Wed, 30 Jul 2008 17:31:50 +0000 NICK http://thelittlestwinslow.wordpress.com/2008/07/30/how-the-hell-did-walker-texas-ranger-last-for-9-seasons/

Being home during the day allows you to accomplish many unimportant and menial tasks. I can catch up on my reading, lay by the pool, yada yada yada… and oh, yeah: catch fascinating daytime television marathons like….Walker Texas Ranger?

The Chuck Norris jokes are fantastic. And yes, Walker is entertaining in a B-movie type of way. Over the top, unintentionally funny, and absolutely insane. Because its absolutely insane that a network would let this show run for 9+ seasons! (The “+” indicated the TV movie made after the show’s final season, just in case you were wondering!).

A reviewer on Amazon writes: “In the world of Walker, Texas Ranger, there’s no problem that can’t be solved with a big truck, a few roundhouse kicks, and the unflappable-bordering-on-comatose cool of martial-arts-champion-turned-B-movie-star Chuck Norris”.  How many CBS heads ALLOWED this to go on for so long?

Watching the show now, I just don’t understand it! I’m racking my brain to try to summon up the answers I’m looking for, and as I do, Walker is staring me in the face: morals ablaze, face as stern as ever. But hey, at least someone will help find the mother who abandoned her baby with Walker’s girlfriend DA in the supermarket. Yes, that was seriously an entire episode.

No one ever sat around a huge corporate CBS table and said, “Yanno, this Walker Texas Ranger show is kind of crazy, no? Just a little…out there?”  Really? Really?!?!?!

I don’t really know how to end this, so here are a few related tidbits about everyone’s favorite (apparently!) kung fu cowboy ranger.  (See! It’s asinine!)

Proof that I’ve been watching this all morning:

Proof that I’m not the only skeptic:

A Chuck Norris fact:

Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Goodday.

Les dejo este video para que vean a Chuck Norris leer sus propios facts y vean como los aprueba

—————————-

Revisando verdades sobre Chuck Norris con Geexteam

Been a while since a Chuck Norris picture. The only problem with Chuck Norris Action Jeans is the fact that only Chuck Norris can wear them without being roundhouse kicked through a windshield. Pay no attention to the slogans. These will bind your legs.

 Thanks.

Did you know that Chuck Norris is 68 years old?