This week didn’t find me watching too much television. I was actually busy and wasn’t up at 3am channel surfing the cable stations looking for anything to occupy my fried brain. So I found myself watching “Say Yes to the Dress” where  the “bride-zilla’s” from all across the US come to Klienfled’s in NY City to try on and buy wedding dresses. The poor sales people have to put up with not only these highly snobbish bride’s but also the mother’s and the brides-zilla maid’s. They run around pulling dresses to fit these girls into, and have the wedding party in the background telling them how UGLY they all are and how it’s NOT the Dress.

I am married, I too went shopping for my dress with my mother, but I did it with dignity, politeness and respect for the people who were helping me. I also never would have thought about spending more than $500. (Before you think it or say it my dress was originally $4,000. Marked on clearance to $500.  I was taught early on how to bargain shop) There are beautiful gowns that are made at all price points. Not only did I find myself watching this crazy show, but it was the “best of” show, so I got the see the snobbish, rudest, crudest brides with some of the worst people ever. I hope they all watch and see just exactly how bad they really were acting, please don’t blame it on the editing team or the producer’s, that rude person on the TV is YOU! That is how YOU treat people and best of all, that’s how YOU treat your so-called best friend.  Maybe after the show they will realize how bad they speak to people and treat people and will make a concerted effort to be NICE.

To all those bride’s who have appointments and might get to be on the show, tell all your people you bring with you to behave, be nice, be respectful of the sales people, but most of all, be respectful to YOU! It’s is however all about YOU, and it will be all about YOU till your day comes and ends.

Besides having no patience for irritables caused by my family due to 20 years of being around them nonstop, we must remember that i am not, by nature, someone who gets easily upset to the point of insanity. If i appear this way, i sincerely apologize because it is accidental.

Sure, when small things happen throughout the day like missing the bus, someone is rude to me, or getting a bad grade i might get upset. But i’m not flipping out over it and planning revenge in my mind for the whole day.

But the stuff my family does really makes me crazy. And no, most of it is not the stupid stuff you find emo-teenagers whining about (especially the girls, oh lordy lordy i am so sick of teenage girl angst!!). I’m not mad because “GAWSH my family is so weird *sob* bla bla bla” or “nobody understands me, oh woe is me, *sob* bla bla bla”

NO. i want to make sure it is clear that we all understand this is NOT what i’m thinking about. Nope, this is stuff that is driving me nuts because of the personality each of my family member has. Some can, at times, be rude, selfish, of hurtful. And I really cannot believe that someone who is a part of your family (which, in my opinion, should be on good terms with each other since we are pretty much stuck with one another for the rest of our lives) can act this way.  And when one (such as myself) tries to bring it up so that we could remedy the problem, they insist on denying they are this way at all. Geez.

For example. My father really seems to enjoy being sarcastic and mean to people when he feels like it.

 He enjoys teasing my grandmother (his own mother!!) when she can’t see her way around, and gives her a hard time for having problems getting into the car. AND, also whenever she has problems with electronics he insists on losing his temper and yelling at her. Not to mention all the times he complains about her behind her back when my brother and I are both present in the room. I find it to be absolutely unforgivable to be so rude to your own mother.

My grandmother probably (well no, she DID) yell at my father a lot throughout his life, so i can understand if they don’t get along very well.

 However, when the woman is very near (8 months to be exact) being 90, is practically deaf and blind, and cannot feel things anymore, i think there should exist some shred of human compassion for the poor woman. It always shocks me too see my father mock my grandmother when she can’t get into the car, or when he yells at her to find the seatbelt even though she can’t feel it, and in restaurants he will blatantly tease her in front of the waitress and everyone else. It’s embarrassing and renders me speechless. I honestly cannot believe he would act this way, i find it to be absolutely deplorable and repulsive. What’s worse is that my grandmother is clueless to his behavior. Either that or she is ignoring it. My mother never wants to say anything if my brother or I bring the topic up with her. She generally defends my father by saying my grandmother was mean to him his whole life. But still, I find this no reason to treat an 89 year old practically blind/deaf woman this way.

——–

Besides that, my father also loves to push my buttons, as well as my mother and brother’s. I know he is doing it on purpose. Whenever he is in a bad mood, he will remind me and my brother that our room (in his case now, his apartment) is messy and disorganized, that we spend too much time on the computer, or we need to clean some other part of the house, or that we never get our acts together, or some other bizarre thing. With my mother, he will be sarcastic a lot, hold a grudge, etc. And the absolute worst is that when you ask him “Why are you being like this?” he’ll answer in a very innocent tone “acting like what? i’m not doing anything…” ugh. I don’t understand how a grown man thinks he’s fooling anyone with that repsonse.

My brother and I hardly ever go to him for advice or sympathy. Why, you ask? Well, he clearly dislikes hearing us talk about our problems because he clearly finds that it is always whining, although I can safely say it is not. My brother would go to him when he has money woes and he’s scared about his future.

My father usually answers by saying “well all you do is buy cd’s and cigarettes. Go get a second job if it bothers you that much.”

If my brother talks about how he is lonely because he has not friends or a girlfriend, my father replies “well go out and do something! Stop going to our house every day. You need a life.” so my brother obviously feels worse about himself. Is it any wonder he has severe depression?

And the pièce to resistance, me and my father. Hmm. If I had a problem when I was dating Mr. Toasty (see earlier posts) but i told him i loved him and didn’t know what to do, he would answer “Well you got yourself into this mess. maybe he doesn’t love you i don’t know” gee thanks dad.

 And when I was nervous about going to Paris, and I needed comforting because this is my first big trip away from my family (about damn time too, clearly) he would get frustrated with me and say “well if you’re so scared then don’t go! stop complaining!” gee thanks dad.

And today, i wasn’t even looking for help. I was just talking. But even that seems to be enough to get him annoyed. I told him about how my TS2 was crashing on the PC, and i was just telling him about what i had been trying to do to fix it. He answers “i don’t know, just go do something else stop messing with the computer you’ll break it“…ummm are you serious? it was HIS fault the computer now has double-folders for everything since he screwed up our backup files. And it was just a conversation. Why must he make everything so negative???! Gee thanks dad.

Most of the things my father gives me and my brother as a “gift” is really all about him. My brother got a laptop yesterday for his birthday. How nice of my dad, right? Hmm. Well, both my brother and I KNOW that the only reason he got it was to get my brother off our computer. He absolutely hates my brother being on the computer.

 My dad stands like a vulture at night behind my brother in the office room to get him uncomfortable and get off. Then my dad will ask in an annoyed tone “Are you leaving yet?” as in to go home. Aww, my father cares that my brother needs to get home before it gets late. HA! wrong. My dad wants my brother to leave so that HE can lock the door and go to bed. For cryin out loud. I could do the lock-up at night if he asked me to. My dad hates when my brother comes over. He doesn’t want him on his computer, eating his food, watching his tv, etc.

Enough about him. Personally, my gut feeling tells me that he isn’t behaving like a grown man AND a father should. But maybe it’s just me? I can’t tell anymore.

———————————————————-

Favoritism. My mom’s to blame for this. It’s very real yet i would never dare bring it up with her, because she will start yelling at me thinking i’m making it up.

Ever since my brother went to college (IN 2000!), i have noticed my mother has become more sympathetic with him. Alright, I can see why. He’s on his own, he has money problems, etc. But there’s a point where it kind of hurts me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like i think she shouldn’t care about the well-being of her son (clearly my father thinks otherwise), i find it to be a no-brainer that she should care about him. But just little things began happening, and now it really just makes me sad.

My mom LOVES listening to my brother most of the time now. My mom has ADD, so she usually has a hard time focusing. But nowadays when my brother talks, she gives him her full attention. She laughs at his jokes, you can see in her face how much she lights up when she sees him enjoying the conversation. When it’s just them and my brother is talking to her about his problems (obviously not with my father anymore), she will give him her undivided attention and actually give him advice.

Of course there are times when my brother bugs her. I’m not going to act like she never gets annoyed with him. But lately she seems to get way more annoyed with me than with him.

How so? Well, let’s see here:

When i’m talking, and when the rest of the family is there, about 8 times out of 10 she will interrupt me. Yes, i know it’s ADD, that’s not what bugs me. What BUGS ME is that those 8/10 times she wasn’t actually listening to me (is it because i am boring? is she tired of me talking? i wish i knew so i could stop whatever it is i’m doing), so when she interrupts she didn’t mean to of course, but it shows that she wasn’t giving me her undivided attention like when my brother speaks, because maybe she just doesn’t find that i have anything worth listening to anymore????????

When it’s just me and her, she’s ALWAYSSSSSSSSSSSS reading a magazine, on her laptop, looking through the paper, watching tv. Yes, i know there are times when i come in to talk with her and she was already doing that, and that’s my fault. BUT, more often than not, once i start talking, she’ll just pick up a magazine and start reading it. Or a newspaper, or go on her laptop, or whatever. So there i am, talking and she just nods and makes “uh huh” “hmm” noises. Luckily i caught on to this pattern at a young age. So i began to stop talking suddenly in mid-sentence and just look at her, to see if that’ll bring her attention to me. Sometimes it will and she’ll just say “…what? I’m sorry i’m sorry”…..well, sorry used to be good enough. now it’s wearing paper-thin. it really hurts. when i was little i couldn’t understand what was wrong. i was so forgiving and assumed it wouldn’t happen over and over again. but now i can’t take it anymore.

It’s so hard to get her to really enjoy my conversations and stuff. She only laughs when i make up silly stories. God i’m too old for silly stories. But that’s the only way to get her to listen to me. I can start with a dumbass story and then if i’m lucky enough i can get to what i really needed to say.

When i talk about my worries for school, she just goes “uh huh” “hmm” and sometimes she’ll apologize and say she was thinking about work, or redecorating the house, or whatever. But lately she gets fed up like my dad. I told her about how I’m nervous about my theatre paper. I don’t know what to do about it since the topic is really hard to find sources for. She made an exasperated noise and just said “oh well” and left. um….ouch?

A few things are evident here. 1) i must be talking about my problems too much. 2) i must inadvertently be talking about them in an annoying manner, since both my father AND mother don’t like to hear about them. 3) my mom is being a bit selfish. Whaaa? Yes! It doesn’t make sense now, but I’ll tell you why i think this:

Why would my mom be selfish for not listening to my problems, you say? Well, because SHE continuously talks about HER problems to all of us all the time. And not only that, but she’ll get visibly angry if you dismiss them. She complains about back pain, neck pain, wrist, elbows, headaches, ankles. She complains about work, life, the house. And don’t you dare just go “uh huh” “hmm” to her. She’ll get offended and tell you “yeah well you complain too!” so, i have learned over the years to look very sympathetic and stuff. But now i’m finding it hard to care.

————————————————————-

As i have gotten older, it has become readily apparent that many things are unfair in this family. And i have gotten tired of trying to keep everyone happy. My mom would say the same thing. I think she also has the same problems as i do, but would never admit them to me. Although when she drinks she loves to tell me what she hates about our family’s behavior and that it just so awkward to hear from your mother.

I’ve gotten to the point where i can’t just lie to myself anymore and feed into everyone else’s bad behavior. I don’t want my father to get away with his rude behavior with his mother or with my mother and brother. I don’t care if he’s mean to me, i can shrug it off. But i care about how he treats my family. I don’t want my mother to get away with being pampered by the rest of us by having to be so sympathetic to her problems, when she doesn’t want to do the same for me.

It has gotten so bad that i don’t really want to interact with my family anymore. Do you see why Paris is so important to me now?

———————————————————————–

For years i have dreamt of getting away from all this. Since i was at least 9. Yes. I can’t believe it either. Around 9 years old i saw that my brother was having depression issues, my parents argued a bit….i could hear their conversations very well from my room. (Thanks to stupid 1948 construction of a suburban house i guess?) so i have always been “in the loop” about the problems my parents go through. What’s awful is that i don’t want to be, obviously. But no matter where in the house i was, i could hear it. And my mom would absent-mindedly keep a diary open by the computer, or a web page open, so that when i got there, I thought i had forgotten something and would read it. Epic fail. I wish she had remembered to hide those things. No, the things that i learned don’t bug me on a day-to-day basis, but they are in the back of my mind a lot. but they don’t bug me, it’s just something to remember.

 I wanted so bad to be allowed to go out and do anything i wanted, but i was only a kid and didn’t get to do much.

Once I was allowed to go out, i didn’t do it. Why? because i knew my parents would be concerned to see their kid just leaving the house randomly (we aren’t that kind of family) and when they asked “where are you going?” i’d say “out.  anywhere.” i knew they’d be worried. And despite the fact that they drive me nuts, i can’t get myself to do anything that would make them worried or hurt. because i love them. they’re my family. But they really are making me insane.

I always daydreamed of just going away somewhere. And once i was there, i wouldn’t keep contact with my family. I wanted so bad to just let go of the whole burden and be myself without any of that extra baggage. Because really, if you just looked at me and who i am, and not my background and stuff, I really am i decent human being. I’m healthy, i’m intelligent, i’m responsible, sympathetic, friendly. Looking at Marguerite just as a single mammal, i’m fine. Nothing hinders me otherwise.

Which is why i cannot wait to go to Paris. I can finally see for myself if i really am a capable human in society. And it’s not like going off to college where one might go home for the holidays and stuff. Nope. Just me, myself and I for 5 whole months. Although i am well aware that being far away doesn’t mean that my problems will disappear. They’ll always be here. But hopefully being physically 3,500mi away could give me a well-needed breather??

My family wants to go visit me, mainly because my mom wants to go to Paris. I am well aware she is jealous, and she likes to indulge herself on many things lately. I told them i don’t really want to see them, since it’d be difficult to have family for like a week then you’re on your own again. I’d rather just be there alone.

alone, alone! Ah, such a wonderful word! I love it. I’ve always been a rather independent child. I loved being in my room by myself. I still do. Lately i tried to hang out with my mom a lot, since i will very much miss my mother when i am gone, but she is very annoyed having me around so much.

So i’m just like “psh well fine, family. Since all i seem to do is bore you with my conversations, or irritate you with my problems, i guess it would benefit us all if i was not around for a while”. God i wish it was more than just a while.

I cannot wait for the day when my life is on track. When i’m self-sufficient. I would call once a month perhaps, but otherwise i could just be me. Finally. Because my family and I just don’t mix as well as we used to. And each year that passes by, i feel more and more apart from them. So let it be this way, if it must be so.

I love my family, don’t get me wrong. But when things are this unbalanced, and no one is willing to change it, i have to let go a bit. Because like i said, Marguerite the human by herself is a decent human. And there’s no reason to ruin that, especially when my life hasn’t really started much. So i will always love them, but i need to protect myself, my sanity, my gut feelings. I don’t want to become a person who is selfish and rude to their mother, or any of that.

Well, i should go. This whole post has created quite a large knot in my throat. plus it’s way too long anyway haha

59 days till Paris!

Den sidste uges tid har vi fulgt Josefin på Frederiksborggade og her er resultatet. Jeg er meget glad for billederne og Josefins fine og dejlig selvironiske stil. Og så er jeg godt nok misundelig på den fantastiske popo hun render rundt med. -Skøn det er hun, Josefin!

Hvilken dag kan i bedst li? Jeg er vild med fredag, men det er svært at vælge for hun ser jo lækker ud alle dagene.

I dag var det desværre også Josefins sidste dag hos os i Rude , hun skal nemlig ud og rejse rundt i verden. Vi har været glade for at have Josefin i butikken og kommer til at savne hendes altid gode humør.

Pas nu godt på dig selv Josefin og kom forbi butikken når du er i København næste gang så vi kan drikke en kop kaffe og høre hvordan det går dig.

Noget af det tøj Josefin har på kan man få på vore webshop.

Mandag: Det er ikke kommet på webben endnu, så i må i butikkerne.

Tirsdag: Paliet leggings, gummistøvler og Dr. Denim jakke.

Onsdag: Samme som mandag.

Torsdag: Dr. Denim kjole. Den samme som pigerne har på her.

Fredag: Paliet kjole, tights, Casio ur og nittetaske.

Lørdag: Denim skjorte.

Mandag: Hat, tørklæde og tights.

Everyone likes to think they’re different, but at the heart of things we are all a lot alike.  Today one of my friends was apologizing to me because for the past week he has been kind of nasty.  One of his statements was:  “I never do anything to purposefully hurt you.”

How many people do go out and think I’m going to hurt someone today?  Pretty much no one, but maybe a few sociopaths.  All humans are pretty similar.  We all want to feel safe and happy, and most of the time we don’t go out of our way to hurt others.

I feel like my friend puts a lot on himself.  Honestly him being rude or not, doesn’t really affect my day.  While he might say something that cause a few pangs in my heart, it doesn’t really have a lasting affect on me or our friendship.

Der kommer ofte sælgere i butikkerne der ønsker at vi skal købe et nyt mærke eller varer fra dem. Det er forskelligt hvor godt jeg mener at produkterne passer i vores butikker.

Forleden var der en svensk smykke designer inde for at sælge hendes smykker Sägen smykker. Pigerne i butikken var begejstret for dem og ville ha at jeg skulle kigge på dem. Nu tænkte jeg at jeg ville vise dem til jer… -hva siger i?

Jeg har umiddelbart sagt nej tak til at købe dem hjem, fordi jeg syntes at de er for dyre. Tror armbåndet skulle koste ca. 300 -eller var det 400?,-  og en ring ca. 200,-.

 Life is so full of wierd people. But, most of all- people you can’t trust. People that is mankind. A friend that isn’t really a friend anymore, I saw her true-self. Her true identity. The person she really is. Manipulative. Liar. Just so… messed up. Immature. Little kid. She refuses to grow up I guess. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made mistakes. But, this girl plays games, and she lies, and she makes the world hate you because she isn’t happy unless she makes your life miserable. Yet, I can’t seem to get my mind around why someone would be like that. Why someone would do that. Why someone would even just be that rude, that selfish, self-centered. She talks horrible about people (roasting on them) when she really has no clue what she’s saying and how cruel it is. Or, who am I kidding. She probably knows but, she just doesn’t care, it just suits her so well. I don’t really want to talk bad about her, because I’m not that type of person… but, the truth is bad. I refuse to let all the people, online, know; But, I’m about to confront her in a really immature way, because I can play that game, too.

BRINGITON.

No!  Don’t go in there!  They’re right behind you!  That’s what she said!  Run, bitch, run!

He has modeled his movie going experience after Statler and Waldorf from The Muppet Show.  Thinking it is his own personal Mystery Science Theater 3000 and he’s sitting front row center between Crow and Servo, he throws up zingers and one liners like the actors in the movie can actually hear him.  Hopefully he’s at a screening of Rocky Horror Picture Show because if not, his “audience participation” will be frowned upon more than when he tries to discretely take that ever so important phone call an hour into the movie.

No, we don’t care if the actor is obviously going to get killed when they walk into the deserted cabin.  It makes sense that they are slowly searching closets on the second floor of the house whose power has been cut when there is a serial killer on the loose.  Of course the scantily clad sorority girl will be able to outrun the killer through the woods and there’s no chance at all that she’ll trip, fall, and twist an ankle.  Really, what could go wrong with midnight skinny dipping in Crystal Lake?

Tjek lige det er billede af Sally Jane. Det er jo absolut fantastisk!

Jeg er vild med de farver og kan ikke vente til jeg får tid til at gå en tur i skoven (snart håber jeg). Lækkert, lækkert, lækkert.

If you design/make/illustrate/program things… you get it.
Clients from Hell, hilarious and sadly… so real.

Please share your experiences of censorship and “entanglements” with Miriam, the self-styled and self-appointed “prophetess” of EndTimesPropheticWords.

Have your posts asking hard questions of Miriam been censored? Have you been unnecessarily rebuffed, rebuked or chastised by Ms. Franklin for not agreeing with every jot and tittle of *her* writings.

It seems Ms. Franklin has a pattern of abusing posters who she does not agree with because, of course, they do not *agree* with her.

Her respones do not carry the mercy nor grace of our Lord Jesus Christ yet rather Ms. Franklin repeatedly attempts to publicly humiliate anyone who dare to disagree often telling them they are “having a childish tantrum” when it is Ms. Franklin who goes into lengthy tirades against posters who dare not toe her line of thinking.

This is spiritual abuse.

If you have been wronged or abused by Ms. Franklin for merely speaking your mind, please share your experience.

Ms. Franklin – you persistently tell your detractors to repent – never once is their *any* hint of contrition on your part for the terse and rude manner in which you interact with your detractors.

Rather than follow Matthew 18 you publicly humiliate posters and make all sorts of accusations against them.

Since it is known you have been approached in private regarding your questionable attitude towards various posters and you have ever to reply, now it is time for you to publicly repent (as you call all who disagree with you) for your horrific behavior and censorship of anyone who does anything but hang onto your every word.

Forleden dag drak jeg kaffe med Sabine som har arbejdet i Rude på Istedgade, mens hun læste til bygningsinstruktør. Sabine blev færdig med uddannelsen her i sommer og er kommet videre ud i det voksne arbejdsliv. Det var super dejligt at se Sabine igen og snakke om gode gamle dage, samt hvad der er sket det sidste halve år hvor vi ikke har haft ugentlig kontakt.

Og så fik jeg en fin gave:-)

-Jeg blev meget rørt over sådan at få gave, bare sådan uden videre… heldige mig:-)

Why am I fuming about how UNPROFESSIONAL Warner Brothers is, and why they ruined my A-list movie premiere red carpet?

LONG STORY SHORT:  UNPROFESSIONAL AND RUDE.

Gladly e-mail:  john.lee@warnerbros.com to complain!

For More Pictures Click Above!

Click Picture Above for Video!

Well, for the new Sandra Bullock movie, “The Blind Side”, I had confirmed with them for PRESS PASSES for the night. I spoke to the publicity department and also the people in charge of the photography press.  I was so excited! I arrived with m good friend Elisa and we noticed the line for photography press was huge!  They had two separate lines depending on if you were there to video or photograph.

Looking so young, we were asked a few times if we were with press. I explained what website we were covering it for and we had spoken to people and we would be on the list.  After waiting outside for over an hour in the cold, finally they let the photographers start lining up and given out press credentials.  They could not find our names on the list and we were told we would get in.  Then I showed them an e-mail sent confirming we have a spot.  The lovely man (note “lovely” is sarcastic) John Lee, not only told us we were not approved to get in, but he let in FREELANCE photographers and then proceeded to tell us “there’s no more room”.  Clearly there was room.  He was snide and made sure he talked down to us.  He spent zero time trying to accommodate us.  He seemed like he LOVED the fact he got to turn away SOMEONE.

So…. to add insult to injury, we had to cross the street and wait there in hopes of grabbing a  picture of two.  I wasn’t very successful but I did put together a video and photographs (see above).
We made the best of the situation and we found a few events going on that night…. so we covered:

Enjoy the pictures and video…. totally e-mail john.lee@warnerbros.com!!!!!

November 17, 2009

The Blind Side Movie Premiere
- Sandra Bullock, Faith Hill

American Eagle Store Opening
- Adrian Grenier
- Christian Siriano

A Steady Rain on Broadway
- Hugh Jackman
- Daniel Craig

-Cell phones, Blackberrys,  iPhones, etc. should be shut off during holiday gatherings.  No sports scores, twittering, or texting is important during Holiday gathering.  It is just plain rude behavior. If you have Teens, teen texting should be discussed as being  not polite prior to arriving to holiday gatherings.  One should give their attention and focus to family and friends,  it’s why you are there.

-It’s not okay to change up Aunt Elizabeth’s table seating, no matter how far she put you from your significant other.  She’s your host, so  accept her wishes.  However you could always ask her nicely, before the meal to change it for you just respect her answer.  Interesting enough, these awkward moments of sitting next to strangers often lead to some pretty powerful new connections.

-A token gift for your host or hostess, is lovely gestures anytime of year, the old school Emily Post  etiquette says one is  NOT required.  However walking into a home or party empty-handed is just plain selfish and thoughtless.  Chocolates, candles, cute holiday napkins, 2010 calendar planner, home made cookies, wine, a plant, and a warm smile shows respect of being ask to be a guest.  If you want to be invited back, a hostess gift does matter in manners and etiquette.  This small token of appreciation is a example of class, etiquette, and manners.   Lets Face it, entertaining costs money, takes time, and should be appreciated in 2009.

-Volunteering as a family.  Not only does this give you a chance to spend time together this Holiday Season, but it is also perhaps the best way to show your children the importance of giving back.  Children naturally mimic their parent’s actions, so they will be much more inclined to get involved if you do, too.

-A lovely way to stay in touch  is Holiday cards, but if you don’t have the money or time, it’s okay to skip a year as you can always pick up sending them out next year. You can also cut back the list,  but if it’s a question of time, send them a week or two into the New Year.

-Spending holidays with family is a tradition.  If your single, and you siblings are married with kids.  You can begin to dread going home to family and their “why aren’t you married?   Single People, there’s nothing wrong with delivering an ultimatum if your single.  “Ask why I’m not married, even once, and I’m off to the tropics with friends.”  You matter too.

I går aftes var vi inde og sige tillykke til Stig P som kunne holde 40 års fødselsdag. Jeg som var så stolt at vores 16 år, må indrømme at have en hel del respekt for 40 år på bagen. Der er heller ikke tvivl om at Stig P efterhånden er en institution i København. Jeg husker tydeligt at jeg som teenager, med ærefrygt gik forbi det smukke lokale hvor butikken stadigvæk ligger. Jeg turde ikke gå ind for pigerne der arbejdede der var så smarte og jeg følte mig lille og ikke fin nok.  Nogle år senere var der dog ingen vej udenom, jeg måtte ta mod til mig og gå ind for at købe et par Dicobukser. Det er ca. 10 år siden for jeg kan huske at jeg havde dem på da jeg mødte min mand. Sjovt som tiden går, nu syntes jeg at pigerne i Stig P er noget så søde og imødekommende. Jeg tror faktisk altid at de har været det, jeg var bare meget usikker og genert.

Ovenfor på billedet er det Stig P pigerne: Maria og Camille med næsten samme frisyre bar forskellig farve , samt Fransisca (som også var en stor del af Rude engang).

I’m going to talk about anonymity. Online anonymity and what people act like when anonymous.

Before I go on, if you are new to MLM or just researching any other info. Craigslist forums is NOT the the place to do it. Just “google it”.

I visited a forum recently where I was new. Most of the time, most forums have what you might call a “queen bee” which is typically a female or on occasion you might even get the odd guy trying to be the “boss of the board” so to speak. Typically however, it’s women. Maybe we can examine why later. For now, lets talk about their online behaviors.

Anonymity affords many people an opportunity to “show their true colors” and not face the consequences. Maybe to their family, they’re the nice, self respecting mom of who knows how many kids and wife of who knows who. BUT, online under the guise of either fake names or as it appears to be on Craigslist “Gray Handles”, they can be who they “really are”. Nasty and hostile to those of us who might find success when they do not. I found that who they really are happens to be extremely rude, nasty and unprofessional at best.  Of course not all gray handles are created equal. I have met some who actually had a positive contribution. Consequently, those turned out to be men. Now, keep in mind that I “assume” the ones I talk about were female because the rest of their posting history was in “women’s issues”, “romantic this or that” or whatever. One even mentioned her husband. They seemed to be just simply rude to most everyone, especially new people.

Now I wonder, how would they behave online if we actually knew who they really were? Had their names and phone numbers? My guess is they would behave much differently. After all, they wouldn’t call somebody at the grocery store who didn’t behave the way they thought they should, face to face, an idiot would they? Of course not. Keep in mind there are many reasons to be anonymous online however, much of the time, it’s simply because they’re to chicken shit to state their mind in their own identity. Me, I am okay with stating my opinion and speaking my mind. I don’t need to rely on the veil of anonymity. Those who post trashy things and insult people who are simply seeking help, doing research and asking questions, while they themselves hide under the guise of anonymity or some fake name have ZERO credibility and more often than not, lack any kind of control in their own lives.

Let me tell you this, if I give you a bitch out, it will come from me, me directly in my own name and not while I’m hiding behind a wall so you can’t see me. If I give you praise, it will come from me, me directly and not while hiding behind a wall so you can’t see me. If you linked here from Craigslist, you know who the “Gray Handle Brigade” is and know this, they really are powerless people in their own lives and if they truly believed sincerely and openly what they say they wouldn’t need to hide their identity. To the Gray Handle Brigade, F-You! Stop being so insulting, degrading and demeaning to new people who just want to know things, expand their breadth of knowledge and have questions to ask. You clearly are NOT the queen bee in your own life or you would not need to be that way online and hide while you’re at it. Get off your fat asses and be real with us if you want even an ounce of credibility because when you hide behind the walls of anonymity, insulting others and being demeaning to them it tells me you are afraid to speak your mind in your own identity and are a very weak person in real life. Sorry about you and your weakness. To me and those of us like me who do NOT feel the need to hide, good for us! We actually are strong enough to speak our minds and share our thoughts in our own identity because we don’t have to worry about who we are. We aren’t nasty, rude people like those who insult while hiding behind the wall. Like those who throw stones while outside of our view, in fear. You’re a chicken.

Where do you draw the line between politeness, professionalism, and hygiene? It’s a tough one.

Going on the assumption that he either didn’t realize he cut his head while shaving or thought the nick was no longer actively seeping, would you have:

A) Quietly pulled him aside and told him that his head was bleeding
B) Discretely handed him a wet nap
C) Licked your thumb and done the mom thing
D) Said nothing, took a picture and then watched with disgust as he discovered the wound and picked at the coagulated mass on and off from 10:02 am. to 2:48 pm???

Because that’s what I did.

For five days Jamaica Queens has been where I lay my head and wake up in the morning. Quickly I realized that many of the preconceived notions that lots of non-New Yorkers have about NY is just not true. As I breathed in the air, the foul smell of garbage on the streets consumed my nostrils. Taxi’s honking their horns, hundreds of people on one street walking by at every second, the sounds of the subway underground, the meat carts on every block that sold everything from gyro’s to cigarettes; it was all so New York. And I was taking in every bit of it.

Being in a new state as large as New York I felt like a foreigner in an unfamiliar country. Knowing I had to learn the complex subway and bus system along with locations of certain places was overwhelming to say the least. My biggest fear was not getting robbed, pulled into a dark ally or even seeing a rat, but instead it was the subway.

On my first day in Queens I set the alarm for 10 in the morning but procrastinated getting out of the
bed until 12:15, all because I did not want to get on the subway. That day was dreary and rainy in the city, which were all the signs of a could be horrible first day in the city. I emailed folks, wrote a new status on Facebook, called people, googled and the whole nine to find out as much information about the subway as I could. I opened the door to my room to go downstairs and searched the refrigerator while the white cat stared at me as if she was asking, ‘Who are you?’ After a failed attempt of finding 10-minute ready food,  I headed back upstairs to prepare to get ready for the day. Motivation was what I desperately needed so I had to put on some music that would get me pumped, so I inserted Camron’s Crime Pays into my laptop and got to it!

As I headed out the door, locked the two bottom locks I told God, “You have to be with me and look over me.” After those ten words, for some reason I knew I was good. On Linden Ave I saw the various bus stops and I looked for the Q4, which I knew I needed to get to the Jamaica Center train station. Because I over prepared for my venture into the city, I knew the bus only took coins or the metro card, no dollar bills were allowed. I quickly ran into to CVS for change and asked for a subway map. The clerk told me that didn’t have any and asked, “Where you going?” “Wall Street,” I replied. “Oh just go out here catch the Q4 bus and then take the J train all the way into town and get off on Broad street, “ she said. “Thank you.” I thought to myself that this is one of the preconceived notions that was wrong. So many people say New Yorkers are rude, don’t ask for directions, don’t do this, don’t do that. But here this lady was willingly giving me directions when I hadn’t even asked. Are some New Yorkers rude? Hell yeah. But aren’t some Nashvilleans, Texans and people from every other place in the world?

Of course the bus was packed so I stood in my flip flops holding on to my wet umbrella with one hand and the rail with the other. While riding the bus I carefully looked at all the stores, people, streets and how the buildings were made. If at any point someone thought I was a tourist, it would have to be at this moment. New Yorkers do not look around out the window because they see the same things I was in awe of, every day. After maybe 7 minutes the bus pulled up to Parsons and Archer Ave which is where I exited to get on the train. Once inside the station and underground I went to the machine and purchased my all day unlimited metro pass. I figured if it stopped raining maybe I’d even venture to Brooklyn. Even though I knew that wasn’t happening.

I must admit that swiping the metro card has a silly technique to it that took me 10 attempts before it finally went through. When I stepped onto the subway I looked around and surprisingly I found a seat. Days later I did find out that you may have to stand for about 5 stops before getting a seat during rush hours. Observing the people on the train I eliminated yet another preconceived notion. No one had on those old school pouches that clip around your waste because of the myth that you shouldn’t carry a purse in New York. In fact mostly everyone carried rather large and fashionable purses and women were not clutching them for dear life. No one looked nervous, no guys were standing behind women trying to cop a feel and no one was overly rambunctious. Everyone was in their own world trying to get to their destination. Passing Marcy Ave- Jay Z’s former stumping grounds- and Brooklyn Bridge inspired me to pull out my Reporter’s pad.

Two guys were getting off at their stop and saw that I was writing. “You writing lyrics,” he said? I just smiled and shook my head no because you’re not “supposed” to talk to random New Yorkers. “Well if you writing a book and yo picture gon be on it, let me know. I’ll be looking for that,” he said. We all laughed and he said, “Have a nice day.” “You too,” I said. Yeah I broke the rule and talked to him, what the hell. Ain’t no harm in being polite.

So in one bus and subway ride venture I realized people are just people. Wherever you go there are all types of people. Some rude, some nice, some talkative, some reserved, some smart and some dumb. But just because you’re in New York doesn’t mean someone won’t ask you how you’re doing or tell you to have a nice day.

Four days later and I’m on the hustle and bustle of things just like I was born to be here.  I’ve seen some of Queens: Jamaica Ave, Linden Ave, Merrick Blvd, met a Queens dude, caught the train to Brooklyn, rode around Brooklyn, went to Ihop (something I thought only us Southerners do), drove through Times Square, attended Jay Z’s whack ass 40/40 club, which I left after 45 minutes, walked around midtown Manhattan to find another club, saw the clubs Home, Mansion and Guesthouse all on the same strip, met a Brooklyn dude, went to church, applied for jobs on Broadway and started my internship at Vibe magazine. And now I’m sitting on my couch ironically watching Sex in the City and writing about it.

Everything I went through to get to this point in my life was well worth it. God knows exactly what He is doing and why He allows certain things to happen to you. I’m here and making it. I will forever say when you dream big, big things happen. And you know what…

In five day’s I’m in love. So in love with the Big Apple.

Jeg har leget lidt med det her “polaroidkamera” i dag -sjov effekt:-)

Billedet er fra butikken på Istedgade.

Forrige uge var jeg guest star på min søster Brinjas fantastiske blog under temaet what I wore this week. Som i kan se er jeg gravid og det medføre en masse hormoner i kroppen, så jeg ser lidt sur på trods af at min mand han så sødt prøver at tage billeder af mig. Den er særlig gal mandag og torsdag…hihi.  Jeg prøver virkelig at styre dem -hormonerne og det går da også fint det meste af tiden:-)

Det er begrænset hvad man kan ta på med en mave, så jeg har anskaffet mig en masse nyt tøj (“for en gangs skyld”). En del af det har vi i butikkerne nu.

Mandag: Den Chanelinspireret cardigan

Tirsdag: Blondekjole samme som jeg har på Fredag, cardigan og hue

Onsdag: Er alt sammen ældre tøj

Torsdag: Strik