Warning: This post will be long. Stop if you don’t want to read a short story.

I’ve been waiting for this day since school started. Since September, my grades have not been the most pleasing things to look at. Plus, since I found out that term two’s grades build from term one, it only makes me more depressed. If it had started off from zero, my grades right now would be beautiful, but nooo .. Plus, with all those arguments and drifting away from friends, I could have just slit my wrists (okay, maybe not). The point is, I’m looking forward to the two week break I’m getting even though I have some homework to do.

Anyways, I spent all of Wednesday night cramming for my science unit test. I studied so hard, I was expecting the test would be a breeze for me. I should really stop assuming though. The test was definitely not well done. I feel a low mark waiting for me when I get back to school. (insert depressing atmosphere here). Plus, since I spent all that time studying for science, I totally bombed my business test as well. Sure, I’m not pleased with my test mark for that chapter, but my business mark is safe right now. I just want my math and science grades to go up. I’m praying I’ll pass the program’s standards this year.

A couple of days ago, my best friend sent me a link to a video. I was really hooked and I can’t get the song out of my head now. Here’s the video:

Yesterday was my last day of school before Winter break. All our classes were cut to 40 minutes per period and there was a Holiday assembly right after. Last year, I attended the holiday assembly and I really enjoyed it so I thought I’d stay to watch this year. This year was even better! There was a short skit about the true meaning of Christmas. It was hilarious. My friend’s brother demonstrated a short poem about the Holidays. There was something about the red and green apple of Christmas, and how we must “eat it, swallow it, digest it.” Clearly, it was meant to be humourous and not to be seriously taken as an inspirational poem. Another friend’s brother played the piano. He was amazingly good, it’s just … he lost most of the audience’s attention. There was a skit/dance where the kids in detention were bullying a nerd. He started to do a b-boy dance with the “bullies” dancing behind him. The song (New Boyz – So Dope) was cute and I loved the way they set it up. Since the song ended at the part where the lyrics go “If you’re cute, raise your hand.” and the nerd raised his hand while sitting a chair with all the ladies next to him. That might not be the best description, but I thought it was adorable. Here’s the song:

Anyways, there was also a girl who sang the song “Fireflies” by Owl City. Her voice was beautiful, and everyone in the audience pulled out their cellphones and iPods and waved them around to create a firefly effect.

This morning, my childhood best friend had to return back to Macau. She’s a foreign student who decided to come here and live with a host family. She basically studies at a high school in Toronto and goes back to Macau whenever she has a break. Last night, she came over so my dad can drive her to the airport in the morning. We stayed up late to watch Russell Peter’s “Red, White, and Brown” DVD and re-runs of old Friend’s episodes. Now, I would put clips here, but I think I overloaded on youtube videos for this post. So, if you want, you guys can go search that up yourself if you haven’t watched it before.

This morning, we woke up early to go to the airport and drop her off. There’s something about the airport that always makes me happy. I love the rush of running around with your luggage and knowing you’ll be on a plane soon heading to a new place. Sure, it wasn’t me who was leaving, but it was still enjoyable. The airport is just so big!

Next, I want to post some stories from a new site similar to MLIA and FML. It’s called GHM which stands for “Gives me Hope”. I’ll post some now.

Daily GMH:

1. I come from a large family where money is tight. My dad has called me a few times asking if the gift wrapped christmas gifts the kids have recieved are from me. They aren’t. Today I found a pile of reciepts belonging to my girlfriend, for all the gifts my siblings have annonomously recieved. GMH.

2. There was a kid at my high school who was a notorious truant. One day he stopped skipping and started attending regularly. Later, we found out he would visit his terminally ill friend in the hospital so he could be with him until the very end. He GMH.

3. One day, after substituting at a pretty tough high school, I was walking to my car, feeling rather beaten. I looked up to see one of the tenth graders who had given me trouble walking through the parking lot holding his 10-yr-old sister’s hand, carrying her Dora the Explorer backpack. Love GMH.

Also, there’s another new site called HatePost. Here’s some:

Daily HatePost:

1. I hate when middle-schoolers say that they want a “serious relationship”. Bitch, you still order off the kids menu.

2. I hate it when people drive at 40 miles per hour on the highway. Really? Where did you learn to drive? Cooking school?

3. I hate when I don’t finish my food my mom uses the “You know, there’s starving kids in Africa,” thing. She’s 400 pounds, and could feed a whole African tribe.

4. I hate it when you notice someones zipper is unzipped and are afraid to tell them because they will insist that you were staring at their crotch.

5. I hate how I weigh more than my friends and when I’m around them, they talk about how fat they are when they’re actually all really skinny. Well jeez, if you think you’re fat, I’d hate to think what you think about me.

Daily MLIA:

1. Today, I was at Burger King and I was about to open the door when I saw the label by the handle. “Push or Pull. Have it your way.” Why thank you Burger King, I think I will. MLIA

2. Today, was grab a butt day, and my school all participated. While I was waiting for my bus after school, I saw a guy run up and grab my teacher’s butt. My teacher promptly turned and punched this stuident in the face. MLIA.

3. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend’s mom for the first time. She said she liked my boots. Noticing how clean the floors were, I asked her if I should take them off before I went into the rest of the house. She stared at me for a really long time. Turns out she said she liked my pants. That’s one way for me to make an impression. MLIA.

I personally love this comedian, and if you don’t find this funny then there must be something wrong with you.

Jhumpha Lahiri has a remarkable ability to charm the socks off her high-brow reviewers. “Lahiri is ‘wow,’” says Caleb Crain for The New York Times, on Pulitzer Prize-winning Interpreter of Maladies. Colleague Michiko Kakutani calls The Namesake “a debut novel that is as assured and eloquent as the work of a longtime master of the craft.”

I’ve tried to like Lahiri’s writing. I really have. I found Interpreter of Maladies to be beautifully written, but thematically tepid. I read a few pages of The Namesake and became irate with her generalizations of Americans and Indians. I perused a few stories in Unaccustomed Earth and nearly threw the collection out the window. Ah, the art of the short story! The exposition of identity politics!

I became so fed up with Lahiri’s focus on identity that I vowed to write short stories where identity politics were incidental and irrelevant to the story. In trying to mask the politics of identity, I think I missed the point. As recent events and conversations have revealed to me, identity politics are heated and salient as ever. It’s that Lahiri presents them in clichés, platitudes, and obsessions with infidelity and apathy. She also writes about a very tiny subset of Indians – first and second generation wealthy, Bengalis who have studied and/or live in the one mile radius of Cambridge, Massachusetts. I lived in Cambridge for two years – this profile isn’t even me.

Where are the other Indians? East Asians? Jewish people? Other Bostonians? (Oh wait, I forget that people in Cambridge hardly ever cross the Charles River). Young professionals outside the medical field? Almost nowhere to be found – it’s like they don’t even exist, exposing both the limitations of Lahiri’s personal experience and imagination. Lahiri’s angst isn’t the issue – her characterization of it is outdated. A friend of mine remarked to me, “You know where Americans are stuck? Mississippi Masala. People still ask me if my life is like that.” Let me remind readers that this Mira Nair film was released almost two decades ago. Identity politics and culture is mutable and ever-evolving.

Admittedly, Lahiri has a fine flair for expressing tragedy. However, her characters are recycled and under-developed. I keep thinking to myself “Thank gods, I am not these people.” Her protagonists are passive and lukewarm, and her command of suspense incredibly poor. Her stories give me so little hope. There is no triumph after struggle.

In many ways, film and comedy are well-ahead of the curve over literature. Nair’s films have always been visionary. Bend It Like Beckham (Gurinder Chadha, 2002) is a film about South Asian identity politics; however, it’s also about the challenges young people face whenever they want to do something different. Harold and Kumar (Danny Leiner, 2004) is ground-breaking, because it’s really a story about two smart guys being total idiots. The cultural elements — the pressure on Kumar (Kal Penn) to get into medical school and the need for Harold (John Cho) to stand up against his manipulative, fraternity-boy co-workers — are presented through comedy. Comedian Russell Peters makes fun of Indian stereotypes and makes us laugh.

Short stories are difficult to write. An author has about 2500-5000 words to place point of view strategically, develop major and minor characters, frame the setting, spin the plot, and reveal the themes – in other words, to make the point. In my opinion, there are very few genuinely good short story writers: William Faulkner, Flannery ‘O Connor, Angela Carter, Edgar Allen Poe (who arguably invented the genre in English literature), and Anita Nair. Now there’s a South Asian writer you should read, along with Chitra Banerjee Divakuruni, who addresses domestic violence in her work. All the writers I mentioned incorporate the weird and gothic, strong elements of suspense, and/or even magical realism.

Why shouldn’t I write a collection of short stories focused on identity politics that is salient to my generation? Suddenly, the inspiration for stories and themes was all around me: pan-Asian identities; the relationships between first and second-generation South Asian peers; similarities in the immigrant story across cultures; where exoticism can turn out to be perceived as a liability for image-creation rather than an asset; the apparent success of Jewish-Indian romances; the paradoxical experience of being a third-culture kid; racial profiling; vulnerabilities in the workplace, where being young and a woman is equally problematic; and how class differences, of even the minutest kind, are often far more dividing than cultural ones or color lines.

Electing President Obama, who is white, black, second-generation, and a third-culture kid, is just a first-step; we as Americans still have a long, long way to go. The unfortunate fact is that humans are 99 percent similar to each other. Unlike Lahiri, who is obsessed with cross-cultural differences, I’m obsessed with cross-cultural parallels. The more I travel, the more I see that we are more similar than we are different. But we focus on the one percent that’s different: the one percent that causes all the conflicts, the one percent that is the reason for rich, cultural diversity in the world. “Identity politics are a whole lot more complex than they need to be,” I said to my friend with a deep sigh.

True lack of prejudice and worldliness is a necessary, two-way dream. To understand curiosities, one has to be curious. To be accepted, one has to accept. To globalize, one needs to be globalized as well. The real question is can we all get over ourselves in order to genuinely eliminate racial and cultural discrimination? I will not give up on the possibility.

A powerful short story of identity politics would be one which they are the undercurrent of the story and not the story itself. One in which the multiple layers of identity draw us together just as much as they pull us apart. The themes can (and perhaps should) be universal in nature. After all, as Lord Alfred Tennyson said, there are no new ideas, only new ways of expressing them.

Update:
(As per their facebook group) Tickets for December 6th & 7th are still available – all other nights are sold out!!

The Amman Stand Up Comedy Festival is back for it’s 2nd year and it’s bigger than ever! This year’s Festival has been expanded to 7 nights and will feature close to 25 comedians from around the world. The Festival will be held December 4-10, 2009 and all shows will be held at the Al-Hussein Cultural Center in Amman.

December 4th, 2009 – International Show
Maz Jobrani
Russ Meneve
Ali Hassan
Sherry Davey
Nemr Abou Nassar
Dean Obeidallah

December 5th, 2009 – International Show
Maz Jobrani
Russ Meneve
Ali Hassan
Sherry Davey
Nemr Abou Nassar
Dean Obeidallah

December 6th, 2009 – Arabic Speaking Night
Nabil Sawalha
Maysoon Zayid
Eman Morgan
Amer Zahr
Wonho Chung

December 7th, 2009 – Arabic Speaking Night
Nabil Sawalha
Maysoon Zayid
Eman Morgan
Amer Zahr
Wonho Chung

December 8th, 2009 – Arabian Night
Ahmed Ahmed
Mike Batayeh
Aron Kader
Eman Al-Husseini
Maysoon Zayed
Amer Zahr
Eman Morgan

December 9th, 2009 – Closing Nights
***Russell Peters***
Gabriel Iglesias
Angelo Tsarouchas
Larry Omaha
Dean Obeidallah
Ahmed Ahmed

December 10th, 2009 – Closing Nights
***Russell Peters***
Gabriel Iglesias
Angelo Tsarouchas
Larry Omaha
Dean Obeidallah
Aron Kader

Ticket price for each show is 25 Jordanian Dinars. For ticket info please call + 962 6 476 8267.

Doors open at 7:00 PM
Show starts at 8:00 PM

Or try these links:
http://www.ascf.jo/index.html
http://www.facebook.com/#/event.php?eid=162125487972&index=1

Seriously kids, Russell Peters is from Bramalea not Brampton . . .

Take It and Go

The Quill & Quire is reporting Doubleday Canada has acquired the rights to publish the first book by the second funniest man to ever come out of Bramalea — the No. 1 funny guy spot will forever belong to retired BSS teacher Harry Mellon — Russell Peters.

Apparently the the book will be a first-person memoir detailing his youth growing up in near proximity to the Bramalea City Centre to his rise to worldwide comedic stardom.

There’s no word on a title for the autobiography, but I’m sure he’ll figure out something funny to name it by the time it’s set to be released in the fall of 2010.

I can’t wait to read the chapter about Chinguacousy Park.  Did you know I once saw Maestro Fresh Wes on Canada Day at the old bandshell back in the 90’s? I wonder if Russell was in the house?

Russell, how you taunt me!

When I was bed-ridden with swine flu last week, there was one beacon of hope that kept my spirits up. The top ten finalists in the Russell Peters BFF contest were to be announced mid-week and I knew that if I made the top ten, it would more than balance out all of the negative health issues that had befallen me. Making the top ten would be my light at the end of the tunnel, my diamond in the pile of steaming dog shit, so to speak.

With this kind of storybook ending waiting to be written, it is inevitable that I did not make the top ten. Nope. I lost. Once again. The Sirius site shows how many votes each of the contestants received. The leading video received 329 votes. The person who finished tenth received 75 votes. My video received 33 votes. I was only 41 votes away from making the top ten.

I won’t lie. This defeat stung a little bit. It definitely hurt a great deal more than not making the MuchMusic VJ Search because a) the contest was for stand-up comedy, which is my passion, and b) I was so close.

At first, I blamed myself. How could I only get thirty-three votes? I graduated with a degree in business, specializing in marketing. With this educational background, I should have been able to create more than thirty-three votes worth of excitement. I should have personally messaged people; I should have started a grassroots campaign to amass an army of voters behind me. I should have encouraged my computer-savvy friends to attempt to hack the voting system. I should have done something.

I didn’t send out that many contest updates because I hate being that guy who inundates people with Facebook messages. I really do. I know it is a very necessary tool when you are trying to market yourself, but I don’t want to be known as the douchebag always sending out self-serving messages. Nobody likes that guy.

To make matters worse, when I did send out Facebook messages, the messaging usually went something like, “ Hey guys, I would really appreciate it if you voted for me. (Witty remark). Thanks a lot.” I was too subtle and didn’t convey the real desperation I felt. I should have been more up-front and said, “I need to win this contest more than you know. I am currently a nobody and winning this contest could take me one step closer to not being a total unpaid loser comedian. I beg of you. Please vote for me. I will give you a foot rub if you want one. I mean it. I am desperate.”

There are many areas in which I could have improved now that I look back on the contest with the benefit of retrospect. Initially, I blamed myself for my failure. Then I had a revelation on the weekend when I was searching for ways to transfer the blame in an effort to alleviate my suicidal thoughts. It was at this point that I realized that it’s not my fault. No, it’s yours. Yeah, you. You people are so focused on your own goals and happiness that you lost sight of what’s most important: my goals and my happiness.

You need to stop being so selfish and focus on helping others more often. And by others, I mean me. You should have woke each morning thinking of new ways to spread my name to the masses. You should have constantly been concocting hare-brained guerilla marketing schemes to recruit new voters. Instead, you were probably focused on your insignificant issues. You say stuff like, “Hey, I’ve got my own career, I’ve got kids, my brother’s in the hospital, I’m struggling with debt, yada yada.” Listen, I’ve heard it all. Your excuses sicken me.

I don’t want to harp on you for too long. I’m sure you feel awful enough already. I know I sure as hell did – before I learned the value of blame transference. So what can we learn from this debacle? I don’t know, this isn’t a Disney movie. I just know it’s your fault. Because of your failure as a fan and a friend, now I have to achieve success by getting on stage and getting better and networking and all that stuff. You know, the traditional way. I have to have determination and perseverance and all that garbage. Ugh, brutal.

(Thanks to the thirty-three of you who voted. Ah, what the hell. Even if you didn’t vote, I ain’t mad at cha. I’m on way too much Xanax to be mad.)

Me and the legend, Russell Peters.

I realized last night that I had never actually been IN LA.  I’ve visited Orange County and San Diego a number of times, but apart from LAX have never been in Los Angeles.  However, with my secondhand knowledge gained from watching reality TV, I immediately recognized landmarks like The Standard hotel, Chauteu Marmont, and The Laugh Factory as we drove down Sunset to the Boa Steakhouse for the Larry King Cardiac Foundation fundraiser.

This was the first time I was attending a fundraiser as a guest; during my politics stint, I had worked at countless campaign fundraisers, where I didn’t speak unless spoken to and was at the campaign manager’s disposal to do…well, anything.  Walking into the event, being guided to the back room where Larry and Shawn were greeting guests, I started to get nervous.  Nervous that I would spill red wine on my black and white dress, nervous that I would trip over my new shoes, nervous that I would say something stupid to Larry King…

Well, you get the point.

After being introduced to Larry King Jr. (whose birthday was yesterday as well), he located his father and brought him to where we were standing.  While meeting the legend, my father and my boss took the reins of the conversation while I stood quietly and smiled.  During a silence I asked him how his interview with Barack Obama’s brother was (a very interesting man, he replied) and silently thanked myself for following Larry King on Twitter.  We took the picture at the step-and-repeat, and Larry was once again whisked away.

The main nerve-wracking part of the evening completed, I relaxed, indulged in the tray appetizers of fingerling potatoes stuffed with oysters and tuna tartare, a couple of glasses of an excellent Chilean cabernet, and people watched as I attempted to keep up with my boss’ long legs as he traversed the party.

We flowed into the garden area for the comedy show, and after chatting with several people, we settled into our seats and watched the show.  Larry welcomed his guests, talked about his foundation, awarded a local doctor and thanked his guests, and introduced the acts.

Larry King welcoming his guests, talking about his foundation

The first comedian, whose name I can’t even recollect, wasn’t all too funny.  The second comedian, however, was my favorite: Russell Peters.  The guy is HILARIOUS.  He had my parents and my boss in stitches, and his stand-up act was all too short.  Now that my parents are new fans, perhaps I can convince them to check out one of his upcoming full-length shows   He was also extremely nice and gracious when I introduced myself after his act and took a picture with him.

Russell Peters, doing his thing.

The show ended with Larry inviting his wife Shawn to the stage, and regaling the attendees with a small song and dance number.  I enjoyed the fact that they were both wearing matching outfits (jeans, black shirts, leather jackets), and they closed the show singing Sinatra’s “Makin’ Whoopee” acapella (a song that Larry had apparently serenaded Shawn with during  a drive from Palm Springs to Los Angeles while they were dating).

Larry and Shawn King

After the show, having been up for approximately 20 hours (I woke up at 4 a.m. EST), all of us were naturally exhausted.  While I left my dad and boss to go find a cab, I quickly darted to the dessert table and filled a napkin with several tiny treats.  Walking out of the restaurant and into the car, we then settled back into the traffic on the 101 and arrived at the hotel much later than we should have for a 20 mile journey (LA traffic is worse than they all day).  It was a very LA night.

This week couldn’t have started off worse.  Coming down with swine flu and having to forego work, my runs, and food with flavor for boiled rice and countless hours of sleep had me quite grumpy, to say the least.  The week quickly turned around, and now I’m in Los Angeles, enjoying the gorgeous weather and feeling extremely grateful for the many good things in my life.

DISCLAIMER: This post isn’t intended for me to tout my achievements or request praise.  I wrote it to remind myself that however bad I may be feeling, things can turn up in a bit.  And to remind myself to keep working hard and pushing, and good things will come.

Here’s what made my week so great:

• I was accepted to Boston University for my master’s in project management.  The program is solely online and a great preparation for the PMP certification exam.  It also means I am no longer the only Palepu cousin with only a bachelor’s degree.  Watch out cousins…
• My blog was featured on the front page of WordPress!  I am surprised and thankful that the people at WP saw SOMETHING in my blog that wanted them to feature it.  To my new readers: welcome, and I hope you continue visiting.
• I no longer have swine flu.  YAY.
• Tonight, I am attending Larry King’s fundraiser for his foundation.  Not only will I get the chance to meet him, but my favorite comedian Russell Peters is performing stand-up at the event.  I’m most definitely going to try fenangle an introduction.  So.  Excited.

The only way this day could’ve gotten better is if my beloved UW Huskies had managed to beat UCLA   But a 23-24 loss is a VAST improvement over a 0-12 season last year.  I’ll take it.

Sirius Satellite Radio and Russell Peters have teamed up for an online video comedy contest.  For the past 3 weeks comics and wannabe comics have been posting some of their best LIVE stand up routines.  Well, I’m not one to pass up a chance to place 4th in any comedy contest.  I got some help from my help Dale Wolfe and I posted a video he shot of me from a set I did at Yuk Yuks in Vancouver. Please take a minute and vote for me at http://www.russellpetersbff.com/ You have to register to vote.  You don’t have to put a real email address.  Go to the website and click on Top Rated and I’m on the 3rd page.

Or you can try this link.

When I die someday, I hope that people will talk about how kind and thoughtful I was, maybe mention my sharp wit and intellect, and finish off the eulogy by talking about the massive size of my genitalia.

But I am well aware that many people will remember that I was often an idiot.

On that note, I have to give you a little update on this Russell Peters contest.  I erroneously thought that the top ten videos would be chosen on October 31st. It turns out that the real voting period happens from November 1st until November 8th at 5 pm, at which point the top ten will be chosen.  I am not sure why they had a voting period before the 31st.  I guess that was just practice voting?  They should try that in Afghanistan. (Was that a political joke?  This guy can do it all!)

I need your votes more than ever over the next few days until November 8th.  Without your help, I can’t finish in the top ten and I have no chance of opening for Mr. Peters.  I apologize for giving you a false sense of urgency earlier, but now I really need you.  Please vote for both of my videos (first one here, second one here) and I will be eternally indebted to you.

By the way, I have really big genitalia.  I figure if I keep mentioning that, someone will mention it at my funeral someday.  If you repeat something enough, people believe it as truth.  George Bush taught me that important lesson when he invaded Iraq in search of Weapons of Mass Destruction.

(Another political joke? This guy is on fire!)

Thanks again everyone.  I appreciate every single vote.

Whenever the subject of Asian parents and discipline comes up, I think of Russell Peters’ skit about his dad and spankings.

BigWOWO posted a reaction to Alfie Kohn’s article on “unconditional parenting.” As Daniel Willingham aptly points out, Alfie Kohn “has made a virtual industry out of finding interesting and provocative insights” on education and child development. On the Britannica blog (Yes, the encyclopedia people), the comments to Kohn’s reaction to Willingham’s reaction to his work is the best indication of how successful he is at what he does.

I don’t believe his critics. In fact, I agree with most of Kohn’s initial assertions. He’s right when he says that parents should love their children unconditionally. He makes a good point in his criticism of the Supernanny. Her solutions do seem superficial and temporary. And I do agree that homework for homework’s sake is counterproductive. The purpose of homework is to practice skills (both newly acquired and existing).  

I like the ideas of student-directed curriculum and child-centered parenting. The former being the consideration of students’ interests and concerns in the application of classroom curriculum. The latter being the inclusion of the child’s voice in serious family decisions.

However, as practice they are flawed. Student-directed and child-centered approaches place premature burdens on the audience they seek to serve. Children do not yet have the life experiences for the cognition Kohn is demanding of them. In the case of the former, consistently appealing to a child’s interest does not provide him or her with the strategies needed to contend with moments of tedium or instances when other’s interests supersede his or her own. Without strategies for tedium, the child will most likely give up when a problem is too hard and he or she feels bored and frustrated.

In the latter, the child is thrown into a sink-or-swim situation. Without the prior experiences to navigate the nuances of social relationships or the powers at play, children can easily make potentially harmful decisions. Or they are simply expected “to know” without reasonable preparation or experience. It is the difference between asking a five year old: “Do you know why what you did was wrong?” and telling that five year old: “What you did was wrong because XYZ could have gotten hurt.”

Kohn was the daddy I wanted when I was 13. The permissive daddy who never shouted and never spanked. Who would coo and coddle me even when I failed my tests. My Baba is the daddy I am happy I got at 21. Unlike a Kohn Daddy, my Baba set down rules and helped me understand that rationality and morality were subjective. They rely heavily on a person’s cultural sensibilities and understanding of the world. And the world is often very Kafka-esque, possessed of a hermetic logic.

Now, a father myself, I have an even greater respect for the sacrifices my parents made for me. And I don’t mean material sacrifices. I mean the emotional ones of denying me a car when I was a teenager because they knew I liked to go out and more often than not over do it in libations. I hated them at the time but now it’s different. Now I have a context for the past. Now I realize that they made tough choices and placed themselves in the roles of villains because they were guarding my well being and nurturing my potential.

I believe our children depend on us to make decisions when they are either unprepared to or unwilling to. They depend on us as parents to willingly be the bad guys for their greater good. I am not a fan of “free range” parenting promoted by Kohn. And I can’t help wondering how many of the college students Assor, Roth, and Deci interviewed were culturally Asian. I bring culture up because I wonder if the interviewee’s feelings of estrangement are consequences of something other than their failures or a lack of coddling.

I hope you all had a kick-ass weekend. My weekend was fantastic, thanks for asking. Yesterday, I went to Niagara Falls to be there on the finish line when my girlfriend completed her first ever half-marathon. I know, I know – I’m an amazing boyfriend.

Unfortunately, I never made it to the finish line in time because I had to wait for CAA to meet me in the parking lot. Why was I waiting for CAA? Oh, just because I had locked my keys in the car.

While the car was running.

I know I’m an idiot, but it provides for good comedy material so I really can’t complain. However, I’ve already locked my keys in a running car once in my life, so I didn’t need any more material on that particular subject. Ah well, beggars can’t be choosers. I still had an awesome day, and my girlfriend had a great race.

If you want to vote for me in the Russell Peters contest again (Video 1 here, Video 2 here), that would be amazing. My videos’ ratings went up briefly after I put up my last post about the contest. I can only assume this happened because you all voted for me. Once again, I appreciate it a lot.

However, my ratings have been going down over the past couple of days. I am pretty sure I know exactly why this has happened. There are people who just give every other person in the competition a zero. I know this because my sister has been doing it to everyone else’s videos but mine. She’s the best.  I’m not suggesting you engage in this highly unethical practice, but if you want to combat the zeroes that people are giving me, then I need you to give me some more fives. Unless you’re too busy. But I already know you’re not because you’re reading this right now. Ha!

Hello? Is this thing on?

(By the way, have you noticed that some woman laughs in this video before I’ve even said a word? Am I that funny looking that people just break up when they look at me? I am not sure if I should be insulted or pleased with myself.)

A big thank you goes out to everyone who checked out my most recent Yuk Yuk’s performance that I uploaded to YouTube yesterday. In less than one day, it has 400 views.  I know 400 views doesn’t seem like a lot, especially when you consider that a stoned cat can get eight million views.

However, I only have nine friends (and two of them don’t have access to YouTube due to the fact they are relatively imaginary), so that means that close to 400 strangers have viewed my video.  That means a lot to me.

I have uploaded this stand-up to the Russell Peters contest.  If you want to do something nice for me, I would appreciate it if you gave me a great rating.  I know I ask a lot of you and I don’t give you a whole lot in return.  In the future, hopefully I can do something for you.  In the meantime, how about you just give me a good rating?  We’ll worry about you later, alright?  You selfish bastard.

Oh by the way, I wear hearing aids. Anyone who has been reading this blog and didn’t know I am hearing impaired was probably slightly taken aback when you saw my most recent stand-up. I apologize for keeping it from you for so long.  We cool homes? (*Pound fists*).

Quite a delay between the last one and this post (well, by previous standards, this is too soon :]). The days are passing by quite quickly. I’ve recently discovered my love for my guitar and am strumming it even at ridiculous hours during day and night. The next door neighbor (live in a corner room hence 1 neighbor) is quite tolerant thought. One reason why I never got around to learn playing guitar in the past 4 months is coz I was too lazy to take it out of it’s cover. Hence, I’ve decided that it shall no more see the inside of the cover. This makes it a lot easier to just pick it up and start strumming arbitrarily, in the middle of an assignment, in between two short naps, while chatting with someone, or even while reading something (twice while typing off this post ).

The good news is that, courtesy the awesome videos of youtube, I’ve finally started learning tit-bits of stuff to play on it. So what if my finger tips are already sore and ‘can’t feel anything while typing this. All’s well worth the effort. I’ve got around making my otherwise rigid and stuck-with-each-other fingers a bit supple, owing to some practice. A and D chords are coming up with relatively less efforts now. The other chords still remain elusive. Hopefully, ‘will tame those too. Godspeed.

With so many classes in the last two days, a lot seems to have happened. For the Advanced marketing research (quantitative) course, 6 out of the total 10 sessions happened in the span of two days. Though many might disagree with me, owing to the widespread dislike of statistical methods of ANOVA, Factor analysis, MLR etc, and SPSS package, of course, I still happened to like the course, primarily for two reasons:
1. The professor is quite dedicated, has normal, comprehensible accent and apparently really good knowledge about what he’s speaking.
2. Some of his one-liners are really funny. Not the ROFLMAO funny but the ones that certainly bring a smile on your face. Some of these include “We Indians are so smitten with white skin that if British were Africans, we wouldn’t have let them rule us for 400 years”. This was in reference to the research conducted on the use of Fair & Lovely fairness cream, which had astonishingly unraveled that there was a sizable consumer base of men for the product (later prompting Himani to come up with Fair & Handsome). Another, a more recent one, “If Comte d’Aché had won the battle of Pondicherry, this class would be happening in French and not English”. Though he didn’t remember the name of Comte (which I dug up on the interwebz), he did mention the name of the battle. Needless to say, he seems to have some interest in history too.

One thing that I like about this guy (the prof.) is that though he seems to be quite young, he seems to be quite comfortable with himself, without caring to ‘look normal’ by society’s definition. To clarify, he sports a tiny brahmin ponytail and usually has sandal paste smeared across his forehead. It is notable that he did his higher studies at the University of Maryland. It did make me think of how we seek societal approval in most of the things we do on a daily basis, most prominently in how we carry ourselves. There have been numerous occasions when I’ve walked into the mess at 2 am, in proper attire, still wearing shoes, only to attract furtive glances as if something’s wrong with me. Similar reactions when I decided to go spikey with my hairdo. Though that also attracted some appreciation too but it does make me wonder about the pressure that everyone feels to fit into what the crowd is doing. I feel if someone is comfortable one way or the other, he/she shouldn’t take pains to seek everyone’s approval. Just be yourself. This strange phenomena to want to not be yourself but what you think others want you to be, is, in my honest opinion, quite ridiculous. Get over it.

The other day, I was watching the stand-up comedy of Russell Peters. He mentioned something similar to this. If a guy thinks to ‘turn on’ the cool in front of a crowd (or a girl), he just shouldn’t ‘cuz if he was cool de facto, he wouldn’t need to turn it on in the first place, and if he does it, he’s not being himself, which makes him look even more desperate for attention/approval. It clearly shows a clear external locus of control. Another post on that concept sometime later.

Not a thing I might be able to do every time I post something here, but yet again this post made met think of a song where the lyrics conveyed the idea I mention here. ‘Complicated’ by Avril Lavigne

I like you the way you are
—
but you’ve become
Somebody else round everyone else
You’re watching your back like you can’t relax
You’re tryin’ to be cool you look like a fool to me

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you’re acting like you’re somebody else gets me frustrated
Life’s like this
And you fall and you crawl
and you break and you take
what you get and you turn it into honesty
and promise me I’m never gonna find you fake it

I find the lack of originality in people’s personality quite disturbing. Quit being someone else. You are way better at being yourself. Trust me.
Signing off,
Sadaf

OUR TOWN: Is there any other business whose highest-profile members donate their talents so often and so freely? And no, this isn’t a quiz. The answer is

MacDONALD: Laughing Like Crazy

No. And when our stars go into support mode, they give it all they’ve got. Which is why you should know that seasoned smile-maker Mike MacDonald, a guy who always puts the ‘fun’ back in fund-raiser, returns to T.O. this weekend to headline Laughing Like Crazy, a benefit for the Mood Disorder Association of Ontario. Another amusing fellow, Second City alumnus Patrick McKenna hosts the Saturday night event at the Panasonic Theatre. For tickets, click here … and yes, it’s a much smaller venue than the stadiums he usually plays, but Russell Peters will return to host the annual Gilda’s Club benefit, It’s Always Something, on Nov. 23

CARVER: Songs to celebrate

at the Princess Of Wales. To order tickets, click here … and what do Brent Carver, Michael Burgess, Bruce Dow, Ted Dykstra, Melanie Doane, Theresa Tova, Adam Brazier, Sharron Matthews, Avery Saltzman, Aaron Walpole, Elicia MacKenzie (Maria in The Sound Of Music) and cast members from Jersey Boys all have in common? They’re all performing in Songs & Celebration, a November fundraiser for the Harold Green Jewish Theatre company hosted by Colin Mochrie and Deb McGrath. For more information, and to order tickets, just click here.

NO PEOPLE LIKE SHOW PEOPLE: Dancap chief Aubrey Dan is honourary chair of the third annual Bright Lights Of Broadway scholarship

PARSONS: coming to T.O.

fundraiser at the Carlu on Oct. 28 …Cheyenne Jackson, currently providing the swoon quotient for the Broadway revival of Finian’s Rainbow, will be moonlighting this season in a guest stint on 30 Rock, playing the new cast member Alec Baldwin wants Tina Fey to hire … who’da thunk it? Tie Domi is surprisingly fast on his feet in CBC’s current Battle Of The Blades competition. Can’t wait to watch him trip the light fantastic tonight with Rick Mercer on the Rick Mercer Report … and Oscar winner Estelle Parsons (remember Bonnie & Clyde?) reprises her praise-winning Broadway turn as Violet, the matriarch from hell, when Pulitzer Prize and Tony Award winning drama August:

DOMI & MERCER: on ice tonight

Osage County opens here next month  for a limited 10-night run.

WOT’S IN A NAME: A new reality show on BBC America features an imperious retail consultant Mary Portas — “What I don’t know about shops isn’t worth knowing” – who attempts to bring elegance to one tacky clothing store each episode. The name of the series? Mary Queen Of Shops … and the new Monty Python series that launched in the U.S. last weekend has a great title too: Monty Python: Almost The Truth (The Lawyer’s Cut.) Episode titles for the six-part IFC

PYTHON: Almost the truth

series, appropriately sponsored by Beefeater gin, are equally engaging, e.g., The Not-So-Exciting Beginnings, The Much Funnier Second Episode and The Last Episode Ever … For Now. Don’t know why I’m surprised; who else would dub their electronic home base Monty Python’s Completely Useless Website? In any case, Python devotees are already waiting for the DVD to come out do they can add it to their collection, but the good news is that Bravo! will premiere the series in Canada, starting this Saturday at 9 pm. So don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

MAPLE LEAF JOKES? WE’VE GOT A MILLION OF ‘EM!:

Q: What do the Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto Argonauts and the Toronto Blue Jays all have in common besides being based in Toronto ?
A. None of them can play hockey.

TOMORROW: All about GLEE.

-/-

What’s hip-hop-happening, y’all?

I had a meeting with Virgin Mobile (my former employer) on Friday. I am going to be involved in a really cool project with them and I have to start ASAP. Consequently, I don’t have much time to write this post.  OK, I’ll admit it – I just watched four episodes of Californication.  But now it’s time to get to work!

I just wanted to let you know that I entered this really cool contest put on by Sirius.  The winner gets the performance opportunity of a lifetime, as well as two free passes to watch Russell Peters in action.

As of right now, after fifty views, my video has a rating of 1. Out of 5. That is awful. I know I’m not Jerry Seinfeld, but a 1 out of 5? I’m better than that, no? If I truly am that awful, perhaps I’ve chosen the wrong profession. But that never stopped Ashlee Simpson from pursuing her dreams, so I’ll use her as my inspiration.

If you think I am better than a 1 out of 5, go to the site and give me a better rating. If I dip below 0.5, I am going to start making my Facebook statuses (stati?) thinly veiled suicide references.  While this would undoubtedly be extremely entertaining, please give me a high rating so I don’t have to sink to those depths.

Thank you once again from your favourite serial contest-enterer, Donald James Demers.

Jason Beck broke into stand-up in the late 90s and has developed a reputation for wry wit, quick one-liners and over-the-top song parodies. His material is clean, friendly and topical while entirely based on real life experiences. Delving into relationships, family life and popular culture, Jason is an observational comic with a sarcastic edge.

Jason performs , has performed in the CBC Winnipeg Comedy Festival, has appeared on the CBC’s “So, You Think You’re Funny?” and also performs across the country from time to time on the Yuk Yuk’s Comedy Club circuit. Jason spent a decade as a regular cast member of the Beer and Skits sketch variety show and has performed with such comics as Emo Philips, Russell Peters, Mike MacDonald, Brent Butt, Bobcat Goldthwait, Derek Edwards, Greg Proops, Ron James, Glen Foster, Gerry Dee, Stewart Francis, Orny Adams, Alonzo Bodden, Dean Haglund, Pete Zedlacher and Kerry Talmage.

He has also performed (middled) at Yuk Yuk’s in Edmonton, Alberta, and Regina, Saskatchewan, and done guest spots at Yuk Yuk’s in Vancouver, British Columbia and the downtown Yuk Yuk’s in Toronto, Ontario. Across the border, Jason’s resume includes performances at Zanies Comedy Club in Chicago and The Comedy Store in Hollywood, California.

Russell Peters talks stand-up, film and failing driver’s tests

By Lindsey Rivait, The Lance (University of Windsor)

Ontario native Russell Peters, now a resident of the state of Nevada, is not only celebrating 20 years in comedy – he’s also fighting with the DMV.

“I’ve been trying to get my Nevada driver’s licence today. And I fucking failed yesterday and today. But they ask you stupid questions that have nothing to do with driving,” explains Peters, who has been on the road, legally, for 23 years.

He elaborates. “One of them was, ‘You can change lanes in an intersection, true or false?’ I’m like, ‘No, you can’t change lanes in an intersection.’ It’s like, ‘True, you can.’ I’m like, ‘What?’ That’s ridiculous.”

His 20th anniversary tour is the largest comedy tour in Canadian history, with over 120,000 Canadians buying tickets. The show features a mix of some favourite bits and some all-new material. DJs and video screens will also be used.

Now on the second leg of his tour, Peters has already performed sold out shows in Halifax, Calgary, Montreal, and two each in Toronto and Vancouver. The Montreal show was part of the Just for Laughs festival, and was the largest indoor comedy show in the festival’s history.

He’s sold out arenas and theatres worldwide, from London to Sydney to Los Angeles. He was the first South Asian to sell out the Apollo Theatre and the first ever to sell out the Air Canada Centre in Toronto – twice.

All this and more has been accomplished on his sheer talent and charm alone. No sitcoms, films, reality TV shows, or paparazzi drama needed here.

While his comedy clips are famous staples on YouTube, enjoying well over 35 million views, Peters has had trouble with bootleg videos being posted online. He now views the Internet as a double-edged sword.

“It’s good when you’re coming up, it’s good for getting known. But for stand-up, when you’re writing new material all the time and you have to keep it fresh for your shows, it doesn’t benefit you at all if it gets on the Internet,” he says.

Peters began his comedic career when he was 19.

“It was one of those things where you just do it. I was a fan of comedy and figured I’d try,” he said.

To him, stand-up is not really a job – something we all wish we could say about our own work life – and the only downside he can think of isn’t really a downside at all, for him.

“And that’s just never really being able to stay in one place for longer than a few weeks. If that’s the worst problem you have, count your blessings,” he says.

Even after 20 years in the business, Peters has no plans for slowing down.

“I’m going to keep on going until I can’t think of anything anymore. I’m going to mine it until the well runs dry,” he said.

In the next year, Peters is doing two films, one with Norman Jewison and another with Billy Crystal. He’ll also continue touring extensively with his stand-up act.

“I don’t think you can ever count out a comedian. Eddie Murphy, he’s the only one that retired and never came back. Well, him and Steve Martin. They just moved on to acting and forgot all about stand-up,” said Peters.

But Peters is still all about his stand-up work. His DVDs, the last two of which (“Outsourced” and “Red, White, and Brown”) sold more than 250,000 copies each, usually take Peters two years to record and release.

While there are plans for more DVDs, Peters says he’ll take three years with the next one. The extra time will give him a chance to produce a sharper product for his fans.

“The last few have been okay, but if you look at the stuff I put out before that, it was a little bit more polished and that was because I had a lot more time to get it ready. That’s the way I’m going to approach this one,” he explains.

Beyond that, Peters doesn’t look too far ahead to the future.

“Who plans their future really?” he asks. “I’ve never been a planner. I would like to marry my girlfriend, hopefully. If she’ll have me. Hopefully she can tolerate my bullshit.”

Before he goes back to prepare for his third stint with Nevada’s DMV – hopefully this time with better luck – he leaves some advice for aspiring comedians, which has served him well in his own career.

“Do it because you want to make people laugh, don’t do it for any other reasons,” he says. “Don’t do it to get rich, don’t do it to get famous, do it because you like to make people happy.”