We’ve all heard the old African proverb “it takes a village to raise a child.”  But does it really?

As Christian parents, we should consider what that really means through His eyes, from a Biblical perspective.  Honestly, I do NOT want a village (society) to raise my children.  If anything, *I* (and my husband) am to teach them diligently and protect them.  “And these words, which I command thee     this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto     thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and     when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest     up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be     as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of     thy house, and on thy gates” (Deut. 6:6-9).  And Provebs 22:6 “(Parents) train your children in the way they should go, when they grow old they won’t depart from it. ”  Scripture is pretty clear here.  Parents are to raise their children.  The title ‘Mom’ comes with one very important job description – to raise our children in the Lord. Kind of a big job, huh?

The truth is it DOESN’T and SHOULDN’T take a village to raise a child.  It takes a parent (or preferably two).  I read today, “If parents did what they were called to do, and if we do it right, we’ll change the VILLAGE.”  Now THAT’S what I’m talking about!! 

Don’t forget, even well meaning friends and family – even in Christian circles – can give “nice” wordly advise that sounds and “feels” good.  But is it Biblical or just does it just ”feel good?”  Make no mistake… our hearts are deceiving (Jer 17:9) - we are NOT to follow our hearts, we’re to LEAD them.  <3

If WE don’t teach OUR children to follow Christ, the world will teach them NOT to.

Be the Mommy He has called you to be.

It’s no secret that the world’s view and God’s view are vastly different.  To be honest, they’re at opposite ends of the spectrum.  The world tells us it’s all about ourselves, God tells us it’s all about Him.  The world tells us we should wear a certain size and have perfect hair and skin.  God tells us it’s our inward beauty that He seeks.  The world tells us we should have lots of “stuff”, have a huge house, expensive car, send our kids to the most elite schools, and only be seen in the “best of” circles. God tells us our true riches aren’t here.  Even if we can satisfy and meet some (or all in some cases) of these wordly goals, what does it really mean?  Are we satisfying ourselves?  Or God?  Please don’t misunderstand me – I don’t think that it’s wrong to have money or nice things.  It’s the means by which we obtain them and the reasons behind obtaining them that can blind us and cause us to loose focus of our true goal.   True joy and happiness isn’t found in material things, a lofty status, or by winning the popularity contest.  It’s found in Jesus alone.

As I did my morning devotion, my thoughts went back to Proverbs 31: 10-31… the virtuous wife.  So, flipping back to Proverbs, I reread those familiar verses.  These verses paint a picture of what a godly, virtuous wife is – am I that woman?  Am I striving to be a godly, virtuous woman?  Are my motives and heart where they should be?  As my mind raced, I did a personal inventory of my life.  The Lord has blessed me with a wonderful husband who not only provides for his family, but is equally dedicated to them.  But has the Lord blessed him with a godly, virtuous wife that he can trust and not be ashamed?

Verse 11 – “The heart of her husband safely trust her; So he will have no lack of gain.”  We should guard our hearts and give our husbands no reason to distrust us.  We should also be good stewards of what we are entrusted with.  Do we spend money like it grows on trees or are we frugal and thrifty, searching for the best deal for our family and avoid unnecessary purchases?

Verse 12 – “She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”   As the keeper of the home, are we making the best decisions for our family?  We should seek His guidance often concerning all matters.

Verses 13-18  Again, we should seek His guidance often.  God has given us a very important job of taking care of our family.  This is a never ending job – there are no coffee breaks or vacations.  Will I get up early and sacrifice that extra sleep to ensure my family is taken care of, that the lunches are packed, the clothes are ready, their breakfast is made, the dog is fed?  Will I do it with a joyful heart?  We should always do it with a joyful (but sometimes sleepy – lol) heart.

Verse 23 – “Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.”    I love how John MacArthur puts this verse into context.  He says “A man’s good reputation begins with his home and thus the virtue of his wife.”  How great is that?!  Behind every great man, should be a virtuous, godly woman.

Verse 27 – “ She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”   Quite frankly, are we being lazy?  Are we slacking off on our responsibilities?  Granted, we won’t always be able to tackle that mountain of laundry when all of the children (and maybe even our husbands!) are sick with a stomach bug, or when the toilet seems to mysteriously have sucked down that handful of Legos and is spewing water like Mount Vesuvius (wonder how they got in there in the first place…).  Life happens.  We just have to keep on going with that joyful heart and thank Him for the job that He has given us – even on the hardest of days.  Wife and Mommy are such amazing titles to be given, and with them comes a great deal of responsibility.  In my kitchen, I have a dry erase board that helps keep me on task.  On the top of that board I have written, “DO EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO TO THE GLORY OF THE ONE WHO MADE YOU…”  I always see that and it’s a constant reminder of not only WHY I do what I do, but FOR Whom, and HOW I should do it.

So, I won’t be upset when I have a prepay cellphone and don’t get the latest version of the Iphone or my dishwasher won’t work and I have to hand wash that teetering stack of dishes.  I won’t be upset that my clothes sizes aren’t in the single digits.  I will resist the urge to throw on that hat when my hair seems a little unruly and I wake up with a pimple. If my kids don’t go to (or get into) the “best” schools, I won’t freak out.  As a Jesus loving, wife and mother, I need to continually keep searching out, thinking on, and praying about my priority and motives to ensure they stay in line with God’s. I will embrace – joyfully – the amazing responsibilities the Lord has given me and do it with that same joyful heart.  I won’t feel as though I’m not “measuring up”.  The standards by which we need to live aren’t based on the world’s – they’re God’s.

The concept is pretty simple.  It’s a chart/tool for correcting/disciplining that is scripture based.  The child knows that “IF” they do this offense, THEN this is going to happen.  More details regarding this chart may be found at http://www.raisingarrows.net/2009/09/ifthen-chart/. 

THE CHART:  http://www.raisingarrows.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/If-Then-Chart.pdf

Proverbs 22:6 “ Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” 

Provers 13:24-”Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”

Being a parent is an awesome responsibility.  We are shaping lives and this is serious business.  Being a parent isn’t always fun and games (although we have quite a bit of that too   ) – sometimes it’s just plain old hard.  And we, as parents (just like our children), are not perfect.  We will fail.  Thankfully we have an instruction manual on how we should raise our children (reference: BIBLE).  We shouldn’t expect our children to be perfect and that they will always follow the rules (afterall, we as adults don’t always follow His rules either).  We should correct and discipline, but always show a measure of grace (as He so lovingly bestows upon us).  We are to be role models for our children – not just “do as I say, not as I do.”  They are watching…  And Children are a LOT smarter than we give them credit for.  They can see through a facade miles away.   If we expect them to walk the walk, we have to ensure that we are also talking the talk.

Since I posted the recipe for homemade laundry detergent (http://aheartforhis.wordpress.com/2012/08/29/homemade-laundry-detergent/), I guess it only makes sense to post the recipe for homemade fabric softener. LOL

You’ll need:

2 cups hair conditioner                                                                                                                 3 cups white distilled vinegar                                                                                                      6 cups boiling water                                                                                                                    pail / mixing spoon

Directions:  Pour the boiling water into your pail/bucket.  Add conditioner and vinegar, stir.    That’s it!  Once mixed, just pour into a container of your choice (don’t forget to correctly label the container as more than one well-meaning husbands have thought it was detergent instead of fabric softener).

When I first head about homemade laundry detergent, I was skeptical.  My curiosity doubled with my desire to be the frugal wife and mother I am called to be got the better of me.  Guess what I found?  IT WORKS!  Not only does it work, but it’s more cost effective than buying laundry detergent – which we all know can be rather pricey.  

For this (dry/powder) recipe you will need:

A bar of bath soap (Ivory or any other great smelling soap will work)

Borax (found on the laundry detergent aisle)

Washing Soda (found on the laundry detergent aisle)

Finely grate the bar of soap into a container.  Mix in with that 1/2 cup of each Borax and Washing Soda.  Stir.  That’s it!  I use a good tbsp per load (I’ll add more if it’s a heavy load.)

I’ve had friends snicker and ask me if it really DOES work.  Well, our clothes are clean and we don’t smell funny, so yes – I’d say it does work.