And. So. It. Starts.

Howling Valkyries vent squalling funnels of rain at the truck. The KD (our knock-down shelter) buckles and sinks to its knees, a watery death with sodden mourners. As Mary slews to the left, rocking on her axles like a troubled child, the streets slide away, coursing, surging downstream in a flood of despair. Tangled limbs skewer deep drains that choke and overflow and the maelstrom spins into a whorl of hate, lashing all in its path with malevolent fury.

This is the prelude to the devastation wrought by ex-tropical cyclone Oswald, a storm cell of unprecedented force that slammed into the southern Queensland coast in January 2013.

The morning is a slate grey shroud, bruised-bellied clouds skud across an invisible horizon and water pelts from the sky, caught in a vortex of angry air.  Towns submerge before our eyes, all roads to the coast are closed and the highway is our final retreat.

In full flight and surfing a latent frill of fear, we let Mary off her leash…

It feels like this.
http://www.examiner.com

Russell Island is the largest of the Southern Moreton Bay Islands, a mob of curly coasted land snippets that wallow just off the coast of Brisbane. Funny place to take shelter you might think, but Russell lies in the lee of North Stradbroke Island, which promises protection from the elements. That and an open-hearted saltie, the indomitable Captain Dave, catcher of crays, who offers a port in the storm.

The car ferry rolls like a bitch; while the Tin Lid and I pitch queasily from side to side the Cowboy spends the hour at sea boning up on local info. According to the storyteller Karragarra is the gay island, a mere four kilometres of rainbow-hued hubris and a Ferrari owner who drives his pride and joy along the 300m of tarmac twice a day in a squeal of glory. Macleay is the site of a recent murder, an elderly woman robbed of not only her hidden fortune but her life. When we were there no-one was talking, a wall of silence that buffeted the police barge moored stubbornly in the ferry lane. The culprit, a ‘junk-mail deliverer’ has since been arrested. On Lamb Island there is much discussion as to how the mainlanders cope with ‘Australia’, that distant country just 20 minutes to the west.

Russell Island does not rate a mention.

As we wait out the storm at Captain Dave’s all hell breaks loose, a bellicose virago that scolds the landscape with her hysteria.

The power fails on the first day, the pier is inoperable and the ferries stymied; there are food and water shortages, produce rots in the darkened island store and the threat of structural collapse keeps people shuttered inside. Isolation takes on new meaning here, as visibility drops to a few feet and the long life milk the Tin Lid has stashed dwindles to a trickle.

For five days we are stranded. It’s all very Robinson Crusoe – with mango moonshine and board games for ten.

A quick game of mango bowls

In the aftermath the IGA is the place to be. It is eerily empty, shelves bare, save for a few hollow-eyed souls stocking up on Black and Gold.

A grey lady sporting grey mullet, teeth and skin, plus a dim outlook on life, is bereft in the biscuit section:

“We’ve ‘ad no power for four fucken days, no food, no help. No bugger came to see if we was alright or nuffink. We moved from bloody Gympie to get away from the water but me, I’d rahver be flooded there – at least there people come and check on yers. Drive through flooded roads and everythink. And some fuckers had power! So I didn’t have to throw all me bloody food away after all. Fuck ‘em. No-one even offered to help.”

Distraught and dejected she slides out into the rain carrying her yellow-and-black-hued treasure: cat litter, chicken soup, dunny roll and a ratty pack of Milk Arrowroots.

A disaster management plan is in place and flashing lights illuminate the damage. Finally we escape the confines of our isolation into an island that thrives on, well, isolation.

Kibbinkibbinwa Point and Ooncooncoo Bay, Turtle Swamp, Whistling Kite Wetlands and Wet Mouse, the island trails intrigue in its wake. With all the inherent issues of island life, Russell is a weathered soul, lines of frustration worn deep on a sunburnt face.

Once an Aboriginal hunting ground for shellfish, fish and turtles, the island was only settled recently. The local mob believe that the eerie searching sob of the curlews that stalk the corners are the souls of children who have died, “the call of the young ones”.

They left well alone, save for a crossing point from the northeast tip across across the passage to Stradbroke Island.

The whitefellas have no such quandaries, spreading out, kit homes in tow, like an unexplained rash. According to the Brisbane Times,

“The population is small, the views are priceless and the facilities are reasonably good  considering most things have to be shipped in. But the wide-spread land scam that dogs Russell’s reputation has likely kept many away from this spot in the past. During the early 1970s, large parcels of farmland were divided and heavily promoted by investors. Many unwary buyers found the blocks of land they had bought were not where they thought, and media reports at the time documented how some were even underwater at high tide.”

Moving house, island-style

A house with no stairs

True blue hidehole

This place has a healthy seam of blood-red Australiana running richly through it, a sticky viscosity of retro dagginess. A sulky teen butt-scoots along on a skateboard down a dirt track. A heavily mustached, tattooed and muscle-bound bloke leers from a Commodore, his vowels exorcised into an ocker drawl. His moll is a picture of suburban necessity, unscrunching her Aussie emblazoned boxers with an expert finger, uggs schlepping on wet concrete despite the tropical heat.

Island necessity breeds innovation in the sweetest style:

And a Sandman lolls insolently on a pebbledash drive:

The whisper of a dope-dealing mafia outpost that is protected “by a pit bull with aids” meets a tangle of rusted metal that marks the final resting place for a burnt-out ute, eaten alive by the sand. A man arrives home carrying an esky and a car battery, his stubbies rumpled from the ferry.

A scrabble of discarded fridges, rusted car bodies, old shoes and plasterboard stamp a heavy urban footprint. It is testament to Russell’s status as a human hideaway, a bolthole for artists, retirees and thieves. Million-dollar properties with waterfront views are lapped by a stain of underprivilege, a greasy scum that floats on the surface of paradise.

But despite the palpable pall of inequity that scents a wary breeze, there is a rich weave of society on Russell island and social debris and the clutter of commonality aside, nature has a way of burgeoning before your eyes, rampant, verdant and wealthy.

Precious wetlands, an abundance of woodlands, mangroves and tall trees, Russell is a conservation locus. It is here, among the whispering grasses, or knee-deep in a rock pool where liquid life churns between cool-skinned bones that this inscrutable curl of isolation truly exists.

Dirt tracks straight and true peter out with a sigh as the bush reclaims its own. Vacant lots have an air of resignation, plots with no plot. While humans challenge and develop and clutter, Russell Island strikes the sound of perfect silence all on it’s own.

And Captain Dave took the Tin Lid crabbing. Which made his little life…

For those of you who don’t know, Sandman is a really awesome comic series written by Neil Gaiman. It follows ‘Dream’, one of seven people in a highly dysfunctional family of god-like deities. Even though I really don’t like DC comics all that much, Sandman is a very unique comic – effectively using the comic book medium to deliver a unique blend of horror.

Anyways, next up: Sandman: ‘Preludes & Nocturnes’ The Sleep of the Just

Writer: Neil Gaiman

Artist: Shawn McManus

In this tale, Despair challenges Dream, provoking him, to see if he can pull a man by the name of Joshua Abraham Norton from the realm of Despair before he dies. Dream rises to the challenge spectacularly, and the Emperor of these United States is born.

Continue reading this post on my new blog at

http://annikisbookcase.com/2013/04/the-sandman-31-three-septembers-and-a-january/

Set in the DC Universe, The Sandman Volume 1 collects issues 1-8 of the comic book series written by Neil Gaiman and illustrated by Sam Keith, Mike Dringenberg and Malcolm Jones III.

A wizard who wants to live forever attempts to summon and trap Death, but inadvertantly traps her younger brother, Dream (aka Morpheus). Fearing retaliation, the wizard and his cohorts keep Morpheus imprisoned in a magical cell for a couple of lifetimes. When his captors make a mistake and Morpheus breaks free, he is weak from his time in imprisonment and also finds that his captors have stolen and have sold three of his possessions which help give him power. His helm, his bag of dust and his ruby pendant. With these items he will be close to full strength again, so he sets out to find them…but they are spread wide and though he is a god, Morpheus finds that some of them are guarded more closely than he would think. Teaming with well-known DC Comics characters like John Constantine and Martian Manhunter, Morpheus must go to Hell and back to find his things. Literally.

While this is not the strongest entry in the Sandman series, issues 1-8 are a great introduction to the world Morpheus inhabits and is a good set up to the wonderment that follows in later volumes. The artwork is great, but the colors in the collection versus the originals are a little bit off, a little bit darker. This might be problematic for some purists, but I think for the tone of the piece, the colors suit it well. Then again, the original colors were more dreamlike. It’s a coin toss on which you’ll like better.

This beginning collection is a story about starting over. Morpheus was content with where he was and with his station, overconfident that he had everything nailed down. When this was proven false by his imprisonment by a bunch of mortals, it shook him up a little. Weakened and forced to find alternate ways to deal with things, Morpheus becomes a compelling character. Though a god, he is still fallible.

The characters are all really interesting. We get to meet the perky character of Death, we get to see a new and frightening/sad interpretation of Cain and Abel. There are dangerous and fantastical dream creatures and lots of magic thrown in.

If other DC characters weren’t tossed into the mix, you wouldn’t even think of it as a comic book story that exists in the world of superheroes, but Neil Gaiman has seamlessly integrated Morpheus and his mythos into the existing DC canon.

Give this a read, and especially later collections.

JOE Rating: ★★★★

For those of you who can’t bear to watch a talking head for twenty minutes (even if it could change your life forever), here are some highlights.

01:13 The nearest I had to a career plan was a list of things I wanted to do.

01:50 When you start out, you have no idea what you’re doing. This is great.

02:40 If you have an idea about what you’d like to do, do it.

03:43 Ask yourself, “Is this bringing me closer to my goal?”

04:40 Stop when it feels like work

04:59 Failure is good

06:10 Don’t do it for the money.

07:00 Artistic success brings problems too.

09:15 Mistakes are good.

10:10 When things get tough, make great art.

11:15 Make your art

12:10 My best work was what I was least certain about.

12:44 Some really didn’t succeed.

12:59 Secret freelancer knowledge

13:13 When asked, I lied.

14:13 People keep working if…

14:25 And 2 out of 3 is fine.

15:30 Enjoy yourself

17:10 Luck is useful

18:20 You can be as creative as you need to be

18:48 Pretend you’re someone who can do it.

19:00 Be wise

19:25 Go and make mistakes

But there are! In fact, there are many more lesser-known comic books that have enjoyed indie success and that would make excellent thought-provoking and quirky movies. Here are 5 comic books that I’d love to see turned into movies:

The Maxx

The Maxx is the giant purple protector of the Jungle Queen in the fantasy world known as the Outback. In real life, the Maxx is a homeless man who is being taken care of by social worker Julie Winters, who must come to terms with events that happened to her as a child. The comic explores the intersection of these two worlds, revealing profound insights.

This would be a hard one to translate to the big screen, which would make it even more amazing if a director were able to pull it off. There is some great potential for some visually stunning scenes in this story.

Sandman

A movie was once in development for this comic, and it went pretty far before being dropped. The same with a television version of the story. The creators struggled with getting the script and the story just right — an understandable problem considering the source material.

Sandman follows the exploits of the king of dreams, as well as the other “Endless:” Death, Destiny, Despair, Destruction, Desire, and Delirium. Much of the action takes place in the world of dreams and of abstract notions. This is another story that would create something groundbreaking and astonishing on the big screen if the right person were able to pull it off.

Preacher

Jesse Custer is a preacher who has been imbued with the spirit of the spawn of an angel and a demon, giving him powers that rival God. The story follows his quest to find God, along with his girlfriend and his best friend — a hard-drinking, Irish vampire.

Preacher has the potential to be a fast-paced action movie and one that poses deep philosophical questions about God, freewill, the nature of good and evil, and existence itself.

Bone

Drawn like a kids comic but with the material of an adult comic, this story follows Bone on a journey to try to free the Valley from a dark lord. Along the way, he learns about friendship and love.

Bone could be presented like a kid’s story, but I’d hate to see it lose any of its underlying edge. I’d be interested to see how this one was interpreted on the big screen.

Deadpool

Deadpool would fit right in with the current crop of comic-book action-hero movies. Deadpool is a mentally unstable mercenary for hire who also likes to crack jokes directly through the fourth wall. Deadpool appeared in the X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie, but we’d like to see him get his own movie (which there is talk will happen, starring Ryan Reynolds).

There are so many great untapped comic books that would make awesome movies. What comic books would you like to see get made into movies? Share your favorites in the comments!

Bio:

Chloe Trogden runs CollegeGrant.net, which serves as an up-to-date college guide for thousands of people all over the world. Her leisure activities include camping, swimming and playing her guitar.

The two episode “good” streak ends with Sands Of Crime. I was hoping that this one would follow the story of Sandman’s first appearance in the comics, where he ends his initial caper by demanding that a teacher write him a diploma. But the writers of Spider-Man ’67 have standards. This isn’t a damn comic book. This is television. And on television, you have to show some class.

Plot:

If Spider-Man is around police and something goes wrong, the police will immediately think Spider-Man was the cause of it. And Spider-Man is caught red handed pretty often, but to the police of 1967 NYC, catching Spider-Man in the act usually means walking into a room, seeing Spider-Man next to someone laughing and holding diamonds and a severed human head, and doing what any normal person would do: asking the maniac if he needs any assistance in carrying that heavy baggage and telling the guy who saves the city on a daily basis to freeze or they’ll shoot. That’s how this episode starts out, with Spider-Man not noticing that a mound of sand has infiltrated the area four feet to his right, and then getting framed.

That sneaky pile of minerals in the Sandman, a villain notable elsewhere for his ability to be sand and known here for the calm, raspy way he speaks. Every other bad guy on this show speaks in the same, wild tone. If you’re wondering what they sounds like, yell “GEYAHHH!” to yourself. There.

We see J. Jonah Jameson talking to the press about the diamonds, soon learning that Spider-Man just “stole” them. Spider-Man is shown swinging away from the police, which makes the “Spider-Man gets framed” arc of this episode last longer than any other continuous plot line in the series thus far, as it lasted longer than one scene. The Sandman demands one million to return the diamond, and when he is given a briefcase filled with scraps of paper, subsequently demands two million for its return. I don’t know the exact term for this type of storytelling technique, but it would be like if they invented a second Death Star in the Star Wars series, after the failure of the fir…oh. It’s the screenwriting equivalent of thinking about baseball during sex.

Jameson fears for his life, so he sends his photographer to die instead. Spider-Man goes to Sandman’s hideout in the rock quarry, and they do battle, a fight which is really oddly paced, considering that, at one point, Sandman disappears into the ground and doesn’t reappear in the time it takes for Spider-Man to get a bulldozer, mill around on it, and look like a complete moron. Sandman just turns into a giant block and runs into the piece of equipment, destroying it and ruining Spider-Man’s plan(?) of toiling the earth enough that Sandman gets mad about his lawn.

“Shit” – Sandman.

Sandman then, in a bizarre tactical display, operates two different kinds of cranes in order to kill Spidey. This yields embarrassing results from someone who could have ended the fight simply by telling Spider-Man to turn around and then bashing his skull in when the idiot wasn’t looking. Spider-Man ends up shooting a hose at Sandman, rendering him incapable of any defense, and so continues the theme of Spider-Man beating his foes through the power of sheer humiliation.

Animation Woe:

It seems someone hired a small child with no muscle tone to be Spider-Man’s cartoon body double for a few seconds.

Amazing Spidey Quote:

J. Jonah Jameson: It just goes to show you, you can’t send a teenager to do a man’s job!

Usually, the show ends with Peter Parker getting the physical/moral victory by muttering something under his breath. I choose this as my favorite quote of the episode if only because we don’t end the show on a bad pun created by our completely unlikable neighborhood Spider-Man.

For more Spider action, go to the Cartoons section.

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Tuesday, June 13^th, 2006 – Trenton, New Jersey – Some Arena That Either I Didn’t Hear Them Say or They Didn’t Announce – Welcome to a series of blogs on the first few episodes of WWE’s third brand, ECW!  Granted this wasn’t the original Extreme Championship Wrestling, but I enjoyed the original airings of WWECW.  So, wanting to give it another spin, I’ll be reviewing the first few episodes I recorded on VHS, and then dubbed onto DVD years later.  Hope you guys enjoy the reviews!

The show started with Drowning Pool’s “Bodies” theme, along with ECW’s One Night Stand pay-per-view 48 hours prior, along with John Cena saying on Monday Night Raw the night before that he’ll show up on ECW, trying to gain retribution for losing the WWE title to RVD on Sunday night!

Segment One: Paul Heyman was welcomed by the “ECW” fans at Trenton, New Jersey, and by Justin Roberts, the ECW ring announcer.  The fans love seeing Paul E. back and I can’t blame them.  Joey Styles and Tazz are our announcers for the show, and a team I really enjoyed at the announce booth.

After Styles and Tazz did their opening speal, Heyman introduced the WWE Champion, who carried the spinner belt.  Man, am I ever happy the spinner belt was ditched and the new WWE title debuted about a month ago.

Rob Van Dam thanked Paul and also thanked the fans for the cheers and support to their new champion.  Van Dam mentioned that Cena claims he’d show up and wants him to “do the right thing” and help celebrate ECW’s debut on the SciFi network!

Heyman mentions that since RVD defeated Cena two nights before at ECW’s One Night Stand, Heyman wants to crown RVD as the NEW EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!

Paul asked RVD what he’ll do with the WWE title, and Rob responded by saying he’ll defend both titles.  Moments after, Edge’s theme hit and he and Lita came to the ring.  The crowd chanted “Thank You Edge!” because it was Edge that helped RVD win two nights before, defeating John Cena.

Edge shook RVD’s hand and said he’s looking forward to challenging him for the WWE title at Vengence, and got speared for believing Edge only wanted to shake hands.  Edge and Lita tried to leave in the crowd but Cena showed up and tossed him back to the ringside area and the three men battled each other for a few minutes.

After the commercial break, Heyman was backstage with the ECW roster and told his roster that if the Raw roster wanted to show them what they were about, the ECW roster will show up on Monday Night Raw, on the USA Network, and show the Raw guys what they’re about!  Yes!

Match One: the Zombie versus the Sandman

When the Zombie got into the ring, he went over to Justin Roberts and grabbed the mic and spoke “Zombie language,” grunting into the mic.  Maybe 15 seconds into his grunts, the Sandman’s theme hit, and he came down through the crowd, with beer and the kendo stick in hand!

Before the bell rang, Sandman nailed the Zombie with the Kendo Stick, tagging with a pop from the crowd!  The bell rang and the Sandman wen to town with the Kendo Stick when the Zombie was on the ground.

The Sandman picked him up and hit him with the White Russian Leg Sweep, pinned him, and scored the victory!

Winner: the Sandman!

For the first match, I am pleased that this lasted minutes, if that, and allowing the new ECW audience to see what the Sandman was all about.  I have to give this match a * and ½ * rating, since it was super short, and we saw a Kendo Stick beating on a “dead dude!”

Segment Two: Kelly Kelly tells us all about what she’s about…that she’s all about taking her clothes off!  The crowd popped huge for that statement!  What horny teenage boys and young-20-somethings!

After the commercial break, we see a video package from ECW One Night Stand and we see the match Tazz and Jerry Lawler had.  I guess you can say this was ECW’s second match.

Match Two: Tazz versus Jerry “the King” Lawler (from ECW One Night Stand 2006)

The crowd at the arena where the PPV took place was a “vintage ECW crowd,” cheering for Tazz and booing hugely when Lawler’s theme hit.  To gain more heat, Lawler walked over to where Styles was sitting at and slapped him across the face, making sure the fans hated him.  Another great clip to show the ECW fans what they were about.

Styles ran down to the ring and jumped Lawler.  He didn’t get far, since Lawler was a trained wrestler and he wasn’t.  Lawler threw him off of him and was about to hit the piledriver on Style, but Tazz grabbed Lawler and put him in the Tazzmission.

The King passed out to the Tazzmission and Tazz picked up the victory!

Winner: Tazz!

I have to give this match a * and ¾ * rating, because it was short, and told an awesome story.  Like mentioned for the Sandman match, Lawler put over Tazz great, helping show the world what ECW was about and helped continue the rivalry that Lawler and ECW had back in the 90’s.  If you don’t know what I’m referring to, find the ECW documentary and watch it.  WWE’s “Rise and Fall of ECW” tells it perfectly on why Lawler didn’t like ECW at the time.

Match Three: Kurt Angle versus Justin Credible

The first thing that happened was when Credible entered the ring, he ran towards Angle and Angle hit the double leg take down onto Justin Credible and showed the fans what WWE “never allowed” him to do, and that’s be the “Wrestling Machine,” and show off his amateur moves.

Angle let Credible up and Credible got into Angle’s face, I guess telling him that Angle has nothing on him, and Angle responded with a headbutt, which Credible kneeled because of it, and Angle locked on a choke hold, which caused Credible to tap out.

Winner: Kurt Angle!

I have to give this match a * star rating, since it was all Angle, and seemed a lot like a squash match, which isn’t bad at all.  Helps put Angle over as a Wrestling Machine and shows the WWE Universe the new style Angle was trying to put over.

Angle grabbed the mic said that it doesn’t matter what set of rules he faces Randy Orton because he’ll make Orton tap out at Vengeance and he’s the new face of ECW!

Segment Three: Paul Heyman’s backstage and asked us if we want to fell extreme.  Heyman threw out all his plans and said that the main event would be a ten man Extreme Battle Royal and the winner would face John Cena at Vengeance.  Great way to put over the winner of the Battle Royal.

Segment Four: Kelly Kelly’s Exposé.  Yup, Kelly Kelly danced and tried to take her clothes off.  What else can I say?  Not much of a reaction, which I was surprised.  Whatever.

Match Four: the Extreme Battle Royal!

Tommy Dream, Sabu, Al Snow, Stevie Richards, Road Kill, some guy who I don’t know and was never named, the FBI, Balls Mahoney, and the Big Show all participated in the Battle Royal.  All this humanity in a hardcore Battle Royal, I’m excited!  It’ll be hard to do a play-by-play for this match; I’ll mention some of the highlights.

Hands down, the Big Show was highlighted off and on throughout the battle royal.  Makes me wonder on whom’ll get put over in this match.  Hmm, interesting.

Road Kill and Tommy Dreamer both tried at individual times to take out the Big Show with weapons and they both didn’t get far.  Well, the only time they went far was when the Big Show tossed them out of the ring.  Good paycheck for them, I suppose.

Big Guido and the Big Show went at it and the Big Show almost eliminated Guido, until Guido held onto the Show and Sabu grabbed a chair and jumped and smacked the Show on the back, eliminated him!

Winner: Sabu!

I have to say that this match has to be a ** star match.  The weapons helped to put this match and episode over.  I am looking forward to future episodes, since I edited this down; ECW was only 45 minutes long, which I really enjoyed.  If the WWE wants to keep all the shows that they currently have, I don’t know why they bump Raw down to two hours, Smackdown to an hour, and have the Main Event on Wednesday nights stay an hour, and have Saturday Morning Slam 30 minutes long, because that’d be an easy dose to put down for WWE.

But that’s my opinion.  As a “debut episode,” I have to give this show a ** and a ¼ * rating, since it showcased some of the main stars on ECW and gave the new audience a taste of what’s to come.  Like said, I really enjoyed the hour television format because it was easy to digest and forces the WWE to hit the main points rather fast.  If you can, go out and find this episode.

I stumbled upon the art of Autumm Fredrickson, who goes by the moniker Freddy Scribbles, at Stockton Con last December. I was on the upper level looking below and saw someone flipping though her portfolio and was immediately drawn to the most adorable little print of Loki and I had to have it! It’s currently hanging above my bed Freddy Scribbles art consists of many beloved characters from nerd culture — not only does she have the cutest Loki print, but she has all of the Avengers (even Nick Fury and Phil Coulson)! She also makes plushies called Cubies (kyoo-bees) and currently has The Hulk, Thor, Harley Quinn, and some Avengers keychains available in her store (pictured below).

I hope you all enjoy the art of Freddy Scribbles! Be prepared to say “awww!”

Iron Man

Hawkeye and Black Widow

Captain America

Thor and Loki

The Hulk

Phil Coulson and Nick Fury

Hulk and Thor Cubies

White Phoenix

Vanellope Von Schweetz

Death and Delirium from Neil Gaiman’s “Sandman”

“The Doctor and Sexy”

Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn

Harley Quinn Holiday Cubie

Wonder Woman

You can follow Freddy Scribbles and check out the rest of her art on:

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Etsy
• GCHub
• Portfolio Blog
• Sketch Blog

Cheers,
Nina

Come out & support your favorite artist. In true Apollo style, you decide the winner of the cash prize!!!

Come early to sign up for open mic slots, for your chance to win the prize money!! Doors @7:30pm

$10-15 suggested donation (more if/less if)

I know snoring is no laughing matter, especially to the other person occupying the the right side of the bed who can’t sleep, due to the massive logs being sawed next to her…more like a buzz saw emanating from those nostrils.  How does this rhythmic rhino sleep through his own band of breaths.  How does he manage to open the floodgates of  an airway to bring in ‘da Funk, bring in ‘da Nose….relentlessly causing him to  not Breath Right.  This is nothing to sneeze at.

The only semi cure to calm his turbulent turbinates is to roll him on his side so his schnoz is facing East.  If he is resistant to that change in venue and chooses to remain on his back pausing to inhale; he will face the pillow of doom hovering over his face as he’s Waiting to Exhale.

  I tried that once. It was a mere threat…..in jesture .  My  recidivist  snore hog (snog)  awoke to the Scent of a Woman who uses too much fru-fru fabric softener in the laundry, so he hurled a ginormous sneeze onto the pillow case:

“Were you holding a pillow over my face?”…..he asks Eyes Wide Shut incrusted with sleep particles.

“No, darling,  you were dreaming.”….she coos, replacing the deformed microfoam  to the head of the bed…for Her Eyes Only.

“You were holding a pillow over my head thinking to smother me with down feathers,”…he smirks with laughing Eyes.

“Don’t be Batt(y) sweet heart,  that material contains too much airspace, if I truly wanted to off you I’d use the fiber- filled decorative  throw pillows;  everyone knows Polyester doesn’t breath”.

“So..you were trying to kill me in my sleep.” ….He spills out trying to suppress laughter.

“Not exactly honey -pie,  it was more like adding a muffler to your mouth piece.  You’re snoring”.

“I don’t snore.”..he deniably stated  looking through the eyes behind his head.

(Oh..that’s right, how could you possibly hear yourself snore over the the clamor emitting from your palate as you lie there in your sleep number coma, oblivious to the affect is has on your neighboring bed mate.  She beamed through her Betty Davis Eyes….).

That was the last time I tried the Muffle effect.

My next approach was during a visit out  west staying with relatives and  I tried the Extended- Arm -Prop- to -the -back technique. This enables your snog to remain on his side for the night, quieting the rumbling gasps;  however, it will leave you Sleepless in Seattle with an Achy Breaky Arm in the morning.  One night I chose to use the retractable-limb method: Once your snore victim is on his side, your arm repeatedly jumps out into action with the slightest inkling of him turning onto his back.  Sometimes this method calls for two arms to be utilized as you are dealing with  unconscious weight.  Weight that has been tipping the scales of  late night snacking.  There are repercussions when using this tactic, especially if you work out at the gym three to four days a week, as my husband once fell victim to the floor:

“You pushed me out of bed?”,   he blew out after the THUD landing.

“No darling, you were dreaming”,...she winces, eyes squinting in guilt.

“You could have killed me”,   he puffs out.

“No sweetums, the chili peppers you loaded onto your late night burrito will kill you, thus the THUD when you hit the carpet, I was merely administering a minor love tap to your back helping the jalapeno’s adjust”,  she quips as her eyes search for a Eurythmic’s lyric….

“Would I Lie to you honey?…..ok..ok….you were snoring.”

“I don’t snore”,  he freely denies …again…

This lead me to my third and final modus operandi: Which is a full proof  formula so easy a dog could master it. This ritual  not only works but will provide your slumbering snog the  body of evidence that which he is being accused of: Disturbing the Peace(ful) sleeping wife:

I video taped him.

I filmed him in all his snore glory.

I showed him my presentation after I jiggled him awake.  Just try and deny the snoring now my little sweet apnea…

“You filmed me sleeping?”, he says as as his Eyes roll to the Heavens.

“Yes, pumpkin, now there is no confusion as to your snoring or not. Here you are, In Living Color, lying on your back, breathing and expiring the snuffle shuffle through your nose to the tune of She Drives Me Crazy”. 

“So what do you have to say now Mr. I Don’t Snore?”.( Her EYES have it!).

“THAT’S NOT ME”,….rolls over….fade to black..

(EYE GIVE UP!)

Top Five:  Worst Comic Book Haircuts

It’s episode #37. Aren’t you thrilled?

We recorded this in simpler times, before one of our favorite books (SAGA) become embroiled in a stupid controversy (PENISES).

But back in those halcyon days, we could all agree on one thing:  COMIC BOOK COVERS WITH SHINY HOLOGRAPHIC STRIPS ARE THE BOMB! Also? DA BOMB!

Issue 37 has a holographic strip. Episode 37 has holographic strippers. THIS IS NOT a coincidence.

So, to recap: Holograms.  Penises.

Enjoy: Earth 603 Podcast – Episode #37

On Sunday April 7th, Sandman presented another installment of The PCP Series. This special edition paid tribute to local legend, Larry Larr. Hosted by Lady Merk & Ace McClowd with Music by DJ Philly Will.

Performers included Shelliano, B. Dot Holla, Hy Deff, Isis Tha Saviour, D.O.E. Boy Philly and Chris Vance among others.

After my opening review of Preludes and Nocturnes of the Sandman series I’ve flown through the next three volumes so expect reviews shortly. I’ve been reading these ones on Tabby the tablet (a cheap version of an iPad) which I must say is a great way to read comics.

I’ve spent the last three evenings wading through adapting the rest of the Tintwistle radio script, and this weekend will be collaring my good friend to play the voice of Cleopatra Bonny, the Victorian brothel madam. It’s not a big stretch for her.

Glitterwolf Issue Three is proving a surprisingly huge success since we launched the website http://www.glitterwolf.com. Its really gratifying to see the project turn a profit which lets me launch other projects. We’ve done an initial print run of a collected Issues 1-3 which look wonderful apart from a few small print issues. Like the entirety of the six word stories being printed in what looks like robot language.

End of the Rainbow (you thought I’d forgotten didn’t you!) marches on–we now have full character designs and a start on several issues, which I’m very excited about.

And finally, the Masquerade project. I have, in fact, only completed reading two novels since I decided to do it. I started work on a short story based on Tom Cardamone’s Pumpkin Teeth but just ended up writing porn. It currently languishes in the state of ‘redraft needed’ which I shall endeavour to complete. Mainly because I look forward to writing a Brenda and Effy story which was the other novel I finished…

And that is mostly it…

So, anyway, I’ve been drawing Sandman related things for the character’s upcoming (35th?) anniversary. I suppose I should know the number of the anniversary, but, anyway… I drew the Sandman  and then Death, of course, who might have been even more popular than the title character which goes to figure. For me, what started out as a Sandman drawing was turning into  more of a ‘Death’ drawing. I kept wanting to make her more prominent… About midway through my initial Sandman Tribute sketch, I decided that I should probably featuring the main character.. the TITLE character a little more… So that’s what I’m aiming to do. Meanwhile, I do like drawing The Sandman’s older sister, so  I did some drawings of her and made one of them into a ‘New 52′ faux cover.

I can’t say I’ve liked the black jeans and T-shirt look of the characters. It seemed like Neil Gaiman and his artists were always aiming for the viewers of that ancient MTV show ’120 Minutes’ right down to their wardrobe. When I look at those old issues of Sandman, it doesn’t appear that the artists worked very hard at designing the characters (and I say that being a HUGE Sam Keith fan). The charcaters look very much like products of the 80s. I didn’t want to draw that, so I put Death in a suit and gave her an umbrella and a derby. I think artist Chris Bachallo drew her with a bowler if I remember right, but anyway, that’s what I did. Most of the other sketches involved skulls naturally, but EVERYone draws her with a skull, so I did the next best thing and put her in a graveyard (and I like drawing graveyards).

I didn’t think the line art turned out very well on this, but I was happy with how the colors turned out. I’m usually not like other art-types when they color stuff. I uusually don’t really have a plan or at least a concrete plan. I just sorta’ wing it until it looks right to me. The background started out looking like a typical sunset.. The oranges and yellows and all of that, but it looked pretty darn gawdy… At least more than it does now. The greenish hues came about from trying to make it less loud. I initially was trying to make the ground to the sky, but ended up doing the reverse. I think it worked out pretty good since I made the logo’s colors match.

The logo was easy. I just used an already existing font with some modifications… Recognize the lettering style? Longtime fans of Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi should recognize it. The only thing I did was make the ‘T’ into an ankh like what the character wears around her neck (which took all of a minute). I guess I made the letters thinner, too. Then I threw all of the ‘New 52′ stuff on there and “Voila!” Instant cover.

I tried coming up with a better name than ‘Kiss Of Death’… I was trying to think of a well known phrase that would fit, but the only thing I could think of (other than this) was “Because I Could Not Stop For Death”… Yes. Emily Dickinson. I passed 9th grade English. I think my mom liked that poem, too. The little kiss imprints were from a logo design that I did for Marat Mychaels that I had not filed… Nothing like reusing old art.

So there that is. Now I’m going to watch what will probably be an AWFUL ‘Redbox’ selection, ‘Bad Kids Go To Hell’. Sound like a stinker? I hope not. Don’t ask me why, but one of the few comics/graphic novels I brought back from the 2010 San Diego Comic Convention was called (yes): ’Bad Kids Go To Hell’. I thought there were some good things as well as some not so good things I liked about the comic, so hopefully they took mostly just the good things and translated into a decent low budget based on a comic book B-Movie. I’ll let you know what I think later.

Thank you to everyone that came out to Refuse To Destroy mixed media group show! It was wonderful. Here are some photos. My very first group gallery show that was as long as week! Also, thank you to those buying my biology + mermaid = awesome Mer-kingdom Coloring Book on Amazon! Such encouragement to make more!!

On the note of making more, I am taking a few days off from making more. Reading webcomics, continue reading Sandman and Saga through COMIXOLOGY, imbibe in the beauty of internet, and upload my newest Muertita photos for sharing. Oh, and find a new RSS feeder now that Google Reader is no longer.

Chris Rigg, many thanks once again for taking amazing photos.

Thank you all who read, share, respond, and color books. It’s a good feeling. There are words for it. Something like…sweetly beholden…yeah…something like that.

Episode 5: Spiderman 3 aka “the poorly framed episode.” I made some mistakes with camera placements but i hope you enjoy the episode, its only the 5th i have done and any feedback or comments are greatly appreciated.
A big thanks to anyone who sent in questions and shown support!
If you enjoyed the show, check out the other episodes.
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Tom