So once again I find myself sleepless, but not in Seattle. Never the less, it’s about a boy. I did not intend for this blogspot to be my diary on line, I very much loath those people who do that, but it seems to be working better than therapy anyways so what the hell. We are all failing humans. If it helps, the function of me writing here will help fulfill my dream of becoming a writer some day, so I feel that makes up for my shortcomings in the world of love. So once again I will bug you with the Andy blog, with a promise of that next time I will write of something different… Like a job I have wheeled in whist bitching and moaning about my long lost nemesis.

Apparently my stop start and again blog did not work quite as well as I hoped in the telepathic department. Being a complete mess after leaving him behind, I slowly started to shed my shell of anger after only one week. Feeling rather good about that, since I originally had lesser thoughts of myself, you cannot believe the panic I went through when I saw his name come up on my phone a slow Sunday afternoon, about four weeks later. Why the hell would he call? The thought have been running through my mind ever since I pressed the little red button and hoped to God he would only try once before giving up. He has always made me aware of his pride in leaving people behind, and I know I am not special, he has made that perfectly clear. So what diagnoses does the doctor then have left? A lie maybe?

I have always known I am a bit of a, well I will not brag here, but those of you who have read my blog must at some point have thought “why does she bother with this”. For that question there are so many answers, but first and foremost: I am driven by curiosity. Nuts as that makes me, I cannot control it and the text blinking back at him as he regretted his phone call said “what do you want?”. His response: “nothing”. See this really bugs me by now, I know he is lying because he will never do something he does not profit from, and he rarely even does that so what on earth would possess him to make this phone call? I’m a slow thinker. So I let a day pass and sent an “I’m not mad, but still want you to piss off”-kind of message. Of course he responds in the same manner as your mirror image would scratch its head if you scratched yours. If he agrees, then why? It is getting quite clear to me that I am dealing with a monkey dressed up in a cool hat and socks. It sucks.

So you see my problem: endless curiosity mixed with repetitive head scratching ends up like a meeting between five philosophers discussing whether trees make noise when they fall in the woods even if you not there. It’s going nowhere, or nowhere smart for that matter. The last week I have spent trying to date other people, but since I am writing about Andy and not them you can guess the success I’ve had, and wondering if I should be mad and not forgiving in this situation. Anger is like the extra kilos in your bag, it will only weigh you down, but if the weight is lighter than his words maybe I should give it a go?

I did. Boiling up trying to save everything for the next time he would have another lonely moment, my bubble burst and I decided there will not be a next time. I was not pleasant in my writings, but he deserves no less and if anything would ever get through his thick and remarkably resistant scull I was going to make sure that it was this. Pond the replay is apparently his thing, though the text was broken (by the love of God I presume, or I would yet again have crumbled for his…. I’m all out of words) and I resumed down the path I had chosen, bombarding the unknown enemy with an order for silence. What he meant to say, I have realized all too late, does not matter because I don’t understand his line of thought. I will never grasp the phenomenon which he articulates because I am sane (enough) and reasoning this with the fact that I would understand a sane persons line of though any other day, I find he must not be. Or it’s all a lie. Curiosity is getting the better of me in this downward spiral. Lie or not, I know my own stands and views in this chaos and if I do not let go I will spend all my time in front of the mirror, scratching my head like any other monkey. Let this telepathic thought be sent from all of you to the most stubborn man in the world: “Get a life”

Upon that I beg your pardon for all the ponds I have showered you with. I will refrain from quoting movies and song titles next time.

I’m just beige. Boring. Normal. I tune out the rest of the world with music, I ignore everyone through reading, I hide away in my room every night doing homework, I write as I please and then scrap the idea ten seconds later. I have no significant quality that can amaze people, enthrall them, or even to relate to them. I spend more time in my room than I do anywhere else. I spend more time doing homework then hanging with my friends. I have no social life, and yet here I am, alive, well and sane. How does that work?

Normal people go insane from spending too much time on their own. They start talking to themselves and then they get kicked to the asylum and then forgotten. I guess I would count as forgotten. In my house, my door never open, no one bothers me. Ever. I could be screaming and I would never be heard. It’s just the way my life works, the way it always have. I’ve always lived up to my parents expectations. Doing well in school, never doing drugs, all the junk. And yet their star child is my sister who gets the most attention of everyone. The only time I get some kind of attention is if I do badly in school. I guess it’s reflexive for me to try to do my best in school, and maybe that’s why I shy away from too much attention. I wear black 24/7 to blend into the background, and yet half the time, I’m trying to be heard, by my peers or by my family. Forgotten. That’s the word for me.

Currently: Working on a careers assignment

Reading: Just finished Beige by Cecil Castellucci, my insperation for todays blah. xP

Beginning to read: This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen

Listening to: Bad Boy by Cascada

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein

Yup. I'm definitely the crazy one

Well I thought this was a rather appropriate quote. I often think this at times. And then other times I’m thinking “What are these people on?”. But most of the time people have such opposite of the spectrum thoughts that it’s amazing we live in the same vicinity of each other.

Or…

Have you ever been somewhere to witness another person doing something so weird or out of the ordinary you pause to think “what are they possibly doing?” or “What could they possibly be thinking?” and then the situation could go one of two ways.

1) It turns out that the person was doing something completely sane, very well thought out, and completely logical and you feel like an idiot for second-guessing them

or

2) They actually are crazy and then you probably feel bad about making snide comments in your head.

Yeah, that’s the kind of luck I have So it turns out that I’m probably the crazy one in most situations. Imagine that!

OMG only 3 days left!!!

Question: Do you think that your mind thinks inside or outside of the box?

There is a quote by Thomas Szas that says

“Insanity is the only sane reaction to an insane society.”

This makes sense. If anyone has ever seen the movie “Revolutionary Road” with Kate Winslet and Leonardo Dicaprio, you would understand this better. The only person in that movie who made any sense was the guy who was locked in a mental institution. Sometimes I look around the world and I feel crazy, like I should be locked up, but I honestly think I am just way ahead of my time. And I’m not saying that because I think I am better than anyone or feel “holier-than-thou”, in fact it is the exact opposite.

I have self diagnosed myself with Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD). Here are the list of symptoms from Wikipedia:

* Hypersensitivity to criticism or rejection
* Self-imposed social isolation
* Extreme shyness in social situations, though feels a strong desire for close relationships
* Avoids interpersonal relationships
* Feelings of inadequacy
* Severe low self-esteem
* Mistrust of others
* Emotional distancing related to intimacy
* Highly self-conscious
* Self-critical about their problems relating to others
* Problems in occupational functioning
* Lonely self-perception
* Feeling inferior to others
* Utilizes fantasy as a form of escapism and to interrupt painful thoughts

After learning about this in Abnormal Psych class, I read over the symptoms a few times and it was like a giant slap in the face, because every single one of those is me.

I go to school, but I avoid social contact like the plague. I try to be friendly to people and smile but only because I don’t want people to not like me or think of me as a bitch. I would much rather eat lunch alone than with a group of friends. The reason for this is because I prefer living in my own world to having to socialize with the members of this toxic society. There are so many “insane” standards we are all supposed to live by, none of which I meet! I am not considered beautiful by society or have the right body type or think the same way or believe the same things and I feel incredibly alienated by the rest of the world so I avoid it.

Ever since I was a small child, I have escaped into my brain and created fantasies for myself to live in so I didn’t have to deal with reality. I recently learned that this is a survival mechanism used by many people in the world, including people who were held prisoner in war and victims of the holocaust. I have also learned that I am not the only non war survivor who does this. I believe everybody does this at certain times in their life to escape from every day troubles because honestly, how could we survive if we didn’t? If we were constantly living in the ‘real’ world, how would we be able to cope?? Why do we think books and movies and tv shows were created?? To help us escape the hardships that exist in the world. I am just one of those people who don’t necessarily need books or movies to help me, my own brain is enough.

I am always someone else in my fantasies, or at least a better version of myself. I am what society considers to be beautiful and thin and normal. I am just your everyday girl looking for where she belongs in the world, only she is brave enough to go out there and find it. She is brave enough to create herself.

I do believe I am different from people in the world, but I don’t necessarily believe I am crazy, or I have a ‘disorder’. I believe in 50 years from now people will think everyone who lived during our time to be ignorant and oblivious, just like we feel about our society 50 years ago. People will look at me and people alike as the John Givings of the early 21st century. We were thought of as insane, when in reality, we were the only sane ones living in our time.

I graduated therapy! My therapist told me she didn’t think I needed to come back after last night .

That’s pretty epic. Being deemed healthy enough 7 months after my Husband leaving me.

We had a long talk about S. And for the first time in my life, I was told that I was someone with an identity and that people who didn’t (S) are drawn to those who do, and get kind of upset when they don’t have our acceptance.

And when they don’t get that acceptance, they start blaming. And S blamed me for being the screwed up one.

WELL GUESS WHAT?! I’M SANE!

We also talked about how I need to make the choice of who I let in and who I don’t and that I do not have to let everyone in. That it’s okay that I’m alone.

Alone being different from lonely. Because I am NOT lonely. I have great people, I just don’t have a million of them and I do spend a fair amount of time doing things by myself.

It’s good and healthy.

I feel like I’m bragging (which is absurd that I would be about graduating therapy…but I kind of am…so whatevs!)

I am much more at peace with ending my relationship with S and T. It’s for the best. And as far as Ex-Husband goes, well, that’s also been for the best. I am happy. For the first time in a LONG time, I AM HAPPY!

HAPPY!

A colleague asked me the other day.  ”How do you stay sane in the midst of insanity?”  It seems our lives are filled with insanity and if we are not careful it is easy to get caught up in it!  A quick google search of the “phrase sane in the midst of insanity” revealed that there are a number of people searching for some kind of relief from the insanity in their lives.  I read posts from parent support groups to alcoholism support groups to the regular office worker trying to get by in his 9-5 job.

According to dictionary.com insanity means:  ”the condition of being insane; a derangement of the mind.”  Now, I think this definition could encompass many people suffering from many conditions.  So what is your “trigger point?”  What causes you to become insane or “crazy?”  I often to think of Homer Simpson when I think about someone going “crazy”

But then again there are lots of ways one can “go crazy” and more often than not we do not act like Homer and Simpson.

But when we feel like we are going “crazy” or start to become “insane” with trying to keep up with all the “stuff” in our lives we need help —  Then I begin to ask myself, where does my help come from?  Sure I have lots of support in my life.  I have my friends, my family and the community of the church that is there when I need them.  But for me it is more than that, my help also comes from the Holy Spirit which gives me power and courage to meet my daily challenges.

The Holy Spirit is there for you too, to help you face the challenges within your struggling marriage right now. …To face the challenges with your kids who may be driving you insane right now. … To face the challenges with your mother’s aging, your father’s aging……with their death. …To face the challenges with your aging and with your death. …

We watch as innocent lives are being taken around the world in war.   I weep at the injustice that so many people in our wold experience.  I see the strength of men and women who have hardships in their lives and yet they still move on and they not only survive but they thrive.  The only explanation that  I have is that when the Spirit is inside of you and the people around you, there is power, spiritual power and spiritual gentleness.

That spirit comes to us in our baptism.  Jesus was baptized not to get rid of his sins, but in order to carry our sins on the cross.  I don’t have to carry my past sins with me, my failures, my imperfections,  or my guilt. All the sins that I have done wrong and all the things that I haven’t done right are placed on his back, on his cross. Jesus is the one who carries the weight of sin. His baptism tells us he carries our sins the sins of the world.

I once read a story about a preacher who felt he was a gifted orator and had memorized Kipling’s poem, ‘If” for a high school thespian contest. The pastor recited the poem with great gusto.  He still remembered the poem and wanted to share it with his congregation.

“If you men can keep your heads when all about you, are losing theirs and blaming it on you.

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, and make allowances for their doubting too.

If you men can wait and not be tired of waiting. …Or being lied about, not deal in lies….

Or being hated and not give way to hating.  Yet don’t look too good nor talk too wise. …

If you men can dream and not make dreams your master….If you can think but not make thoughts your aim. …

If you can meet with triumph and disaster, and meet those two imposters just the same. …

If you men can fulfill the unforgiving minute, with sixty seconds left of distant run.

Yours is the earth and everything in it. And what is more, you will be a man, my son.”

As the pastor recited this poem, the “thespian” in him choked with emotion. He was on the edge of tears and filled with deep feelings. There was a long silent pause. During that pause and silence, a voice from the back of the room piped up, “What if you can’t?”

We can ask ourselves that —  no matter what is said or done, “What if you can’t?” What if you can’t master your dreams? What if you can’t meet triumph and disaster just the same? What if you lose your head when everybody else around you is keeping theirs? What if you can’t trust yourself? What if you can’t wait? What if you are tired of waiting? What if you are a lousy parent? What if you are a failure in marriage? What then?  …

Then you hear the words that you have been baptized, and that all of your burdens and imperfections and disappointments have been loaded onto the back of Christ, that everything is put on the shoulders of the one who carries the cross on our behalf.

In your baptism, you hear the words that Jesus Christ carries the sins of the whole world.  It is Jesus Christ who helps us stay sane in the midst of insanity.   Because I know if I did not have Jesus in my life, things would be harder, life would be more difficult and I very well might not make it from day to day.

So how do I stay sane in the midst of insanity?  I rely on the one who carried my sins to the cross – Jesus Christ.

Talk about the nuts running the asylum…  People suffering this severely from serious psychosis need to be institutionalized, not be put in charge.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

http://www.americanthinker.com/printpage/?url=http://www.americanthinker.com/2009/10/narcissistic_rage_in_the_white_1.html

Return to the Article

October 28, 2009

Narcissistic Rage in the White House

By James Lewis

The term “narcissistic rage” gets 26,000 citations in Google Scholar. It is a common feature of extreme or pathological narcissism.

While psychiatrists often say they can’t do long-distance diagnosis, it really isn’t that hard if you have a lot of information about a person and can watch how he operates from day to day. Intelligence agencies around the world have psychiatric staffs for exactly that purpose.

While most people are pretty hard to predict, extreme narcissists are comparatively simple. They constantly hunger for ego gratification (sounds like a certain always-in-the-spotlight president I know), they are immature (constantly lashing out at those who disagree with him), constantly need to demonstrate their own superiority (or perceived superiority), often need endless sexual conquests (like Bill Clinton), are manipulative (right again), constant liars (NAILED IT!), are completely cold about the human beings they harm (like John Edwards), and they deal with frustration by uncontrollable fits of rage.  (the classic clinical description of “pathological narcissism” describes Barack Hussein Obama to a T)

I think that’s what we saw last week with the White House lashing out at Fox News.

According to the New York Times,

“Speaking privately at the White House on Monday with a group of columnists and commentators, including Rachel S. Maddow and Keith Olbermann of MSNBC and Maureen Dowd, Frank Rich and Bob Herbert of The New York Times,

President Obama himself gave vent to sentiments about the (Fox) network, according to people briefed on the conversation… ” (italics added).  (“Waaahhh, waaahhh, waaahhh!  Those mean people disagree with me!  I’m going to beat them up!)

So Obama didn’t even keep this thing on background. He allowed himself to be quoted in his favorite rag, the New York Times. Dowd, Maddow, Herbert, and Rich did their part by going into attack-dog mode against conservatives. They know exactly what Obama needs and wants, and to keep in good stead with this White House, they feed that hungry ego with the most outrageous flattery and imitation.

It is a perfect symbiosis. Obama is easy to manipulate, and liberal commentators are used to demonize the opposition. They’ve all been raised on Rules for Radicals.

Obama’s thin skin is shared by his coterie. US News and World Report wrote:

Team Obama was pushed over the brink by a growing list of what it considered outrageous anti-Obama conduct by Fox that showed no sign of stopping. Obama’s advisers say that they seethed while Fox commentators used their shows to encourage protests against Obama’s healthcare proposals last summer. Team Obama fumed as Fox personalities tried to pressure some controversial Obama advisers to resign.

White House officials say that Fox has continued to stir the pot against Obama in a regular pattern — raising a criticism, having Republican congressional leaders comment on it, and then using those comments to keep the criticism alive.  (In other words, Fox News was doing EXACTLY what journalists are supposed to do.  They are supposed to be skeptical, supposed to question EVERYONE, and supposed to verify EVERYTHING.)

A break point came when Fox tried to create the impression that angry anti-Obama protesters at congressional town hall meetings last summer signaled that Obama’s healthcare proposals were dying, a story line that other news organization picked up. White House officials say this was untrue, that those proposals were not dying at all.

Another break point came when Fox commentator Chris Wallace called White House officials “crybabies.” A senior Obama adviser tells U.S. News that White House staffers developed “a growing realization” that the president would never get a fair shake from Fox.  (To Obama and his zOmbies, it’s only fair if it’s what Obama thinks and wants you to say.)

Notice the need to have total obedience from the whole press. Fox News is a small part of the total media, but they’ve driven the Obees into a fit. Of course, every single president in American history has been targeted by the media, and generally much, much worse than Obama has. Take George W. Bush, for example. (But I forgot…Bush was Evil, and Obama is Good.  Well, that explains it.)

Last week’s coordinated Obama attack on Fox News made no PR sense. Fox increased its viewership by 10%. Obama lost points in the polls; you can give the American people only so many demonstrations of the Chicago Way before they figure out you aren’t the Great Healer after all.

Obama is far and away the biggest and most naïve narcissist in living memory to occupy the White House. He hasn’t been smoothed and polished by years of deal-making in the Senate like LBJ. The outrage looks like it was just an uncontrollable expression of who Obama and his crew are. If we get more of this, Obama’s carefully buffed sheen will be permanently damaged for the saner 70% of the population. The other 30% will always fall for him anyway.

Pathological narcissism is a reflection of weakness, not strength. Tom Bevan at RealClearPolitics points out how much of it has been happening in less than a year of this administration, including months of a honeymoon period. Obama constantly uses wild and irresponsible accusations against his perceived enemies. Bevan writes:

In the first nine months in office President Obama and/or members of his administration have accused doctors of performing unnecessary medical procedures for profit; demonized bond holders as ‘speculators’; produced a report suggesting military veterans are prone to becoming right wing extremists; attacked insurance companies and threatened them with legislative retribution; ridiculed talk show hosts and political commentators by name from the White House podium; dismissed and demeaned protesters and town hall attendees as either unauthentic or fringe characters; maligned a white police officer for arresting a black man without knowing the facts of the case; launched an orchestrated campaign to marginalize the country’s biggest pro-business group; and publicly declared war on a news organization.

When Obama runs into brick walls, he seems to reflexively go into a state of rage. Bill Clinton was the same way, and so was LBJ. But Clinton and LBJ had a lot of time to learn to moderate their own worst instincts. The best thing that ever happened to Bill Clinton as president was the election of the Gingrich Congress in 1994, which forced him to deal with reality. Jimmy Carter has been on a constant narcissistic revenge campaign since he lost to Ronald Reagan and never got a second term. It explains a lot about Jimmy’s amazing destructiveness against his favorite whipping boy, Israel.

The same thing will happen to Obama if and when he loses the election in 2012. Since narcissists in power keep people around them in a constant state of fear — everybody gets targeted and feels insecure — you can expect a ton of dirty tricks in elections to come. But then Democrats constantly use dirty tricks.

I fear two things with Obama. One is if the GOP fails to elect a House majority in 2010 to keep Obama within the bounds of sanity. A GOP majority is essential for the safety of the country and the world. But even if Obama is defeated in 2012, he will just turn into an angrier version of Al Gore and Jimmy Carter. He will haunt the political future of this country as long as he is alive, because that famished ego never gets enough. Malignant narcissism often gets worse over time. And on the Left and among blacks, Obama will still have love and adoration enough to keep him supplied. He is an easy target for flattery by the Saudis, even the Iranians — in fact, by all the real enemies we have.

So even if the voters throw out this very dangerous cult-like administration, you can expect Obama to be popping up in our politics for years to come. He will haunt the Democrats, which might be a good thing. But he will haunt the United States as well, even if he is defeated in 2012.

Page Printed from: http://www.americanthinker.com/2009/10/narcissistic_rage_in_the_white_1.html at October 30, 2009 – 03:02:26 PM EDT

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

It was 1973 and there is an American social psychologist David Rosenhan who was confident that he could have “sane” people go into a mental health facility by fabricating symptoms of a mental disorder and get a common diagnosis. They went to the hospitals crisis center and claimed that they were hearing voices.  When asked what the voices were saying they responded “empty,” “hollow,” and “thud” (Rosenhan, 1973).  There were five men and three women who were pseudo patients. All eight were admitted to twelve different hospitals over a period of time. Upon admission on to the unit all of the pseudo patients stopped the fabrication of any symptoms. Seven of the pseudo patients were admitted to the mental health facility with a diagnosis of Schizophrenia. One was diagnosed with Major Depression. However, all pseudo patients were discharged from the mental health facility with a diagnosis of Schizophrenia in remission.

During their hospitalization they took notes of everything; their surrounds, other patients’ reaction to them, and hospital staff. None of the hospital staff realized that they did not have any form of mental illness. All of the pseudo patients were prescribed medication to help with their “voices”, but none of them actually took it. They would “cheek their meds”. They would pretend to take it and then return to their rooms and flush it down the toilet. The pseudo patients soon realized everyone was “cheeking their meds”; as they would find other patients medications also being flushed down the toilet. Real patients were starting to notice that the pseudo patient did not have mental disorder. Nevertheless, they reassured the patients that “they were sick before” but improved during their hospital stay (Rosenhan, 1973). Even Rosenhan participated in his own study; he had an hour and a half conversation with the psychiatrist about something only mental health professionals would know, after getting the records of his hospital stay, the psychiatrist said that he had “delusions of grandeur”.

There were two parts to Rosenhan’s study the first part was to show how easy it was to get a diagnosis, the second part was to see how much hospital staff interacted with patients. Also they were to observe; if they maintained eye contact while asked a question and what kind of answer they received. Pseudo patients were to ask staff:”Pardon me, Mr. [or Dr. or Mrs.] X, could you tell me when I will be eligible for grounds privileges?” (or “… when I will be presented at the staff meeting?” or “… when I am likely to be discharged?”) (Rosenhan, 1973)  Most of the time pseudo patients got a one sentence answer when asking a nurse and usually had a very hard time even finding a psychiatrist to speak to; only one time did a pseudo patient have a full conversation with a nurse. Pseudo patient also noticed how much patient-staff segregation there was in four public hospitals; pseudo patient called the glassed areas “the cage” (Rosenhan, 1973). Pseudo patients saw that hospital staff rarely came out of the “cage”; they interpreted that as hospital staff was feeling as if they would catch their mental disorders.  Staff occasionally came out to “mingle” with patients while they were in the watching television. But only in one hospital did one staff member play cards with a patient. Hospital Staff usually only interacted with patients while doing the mandatory tasks such as running groups and giving out meds.

Patients often felt they were invisible to staff, they felt totally powerless and felt as if there was some major depersonalization going on. Patients were “shorn of credibility by virtue of his psychiatric label” (Rosenhan, 1973). Patients felt that their label of mental illness made them powerless in the eyes of the hospital staff. They had no privacy at all; the staff was not understanding at all with patients and would look at everything the patients did as pathological. Participants in the study knew they did belong in this sort of institution but they did succumb to some aspects of depersonalization, “a graduate student in psychology who was a participant, asked his wife to bring his textbooks to the hospital so he could catch up on his homework” (Rosenhan, 1973). The length of the pseudo patients’ hospitalizations ranged from seven to fifty-two days, with an average stay lasting nineteen days (Hansell and Damour, 2007). After Rosenhan disclosed that he sent pseudo patients into numerous mental health facilities, he said that one of more pseudo patients would be admitted in the next three months. Staff were to rate all new admissions on a ten point scale, one meant that the patient was a pseudo patient. “Over three months one hundred and ninety three patients were admitted but none of them were pseudo patients but forty-one patients were said to be fake by one staff member. Twenty-three were suspected by a psychiatrist and nineteen were suspected by a psychiatrist and a staff member” (Rosenhan, 1973).

A View from Being on the Inside

Being admitted into a mental health facility is a very scary thing. The whole process is very degrading, the body search, and staff going through ones belongings. Meeting with a psychiatrist for a maximum of ten minutes, who decides the fate of your mental status and changes one’s life as they know it because you now have a diagnosis. As in the Rosenhan study there were type-two errors happening; diagnosing one with a mental disorder/illness when they did not have one at all, as they were just pseudo patients in Rosenhan’s study. This is cause for great discomfort in one’s life as it changes everything; one now has a label that is put on them with their diagnosis, possibly not even being the correct one. One already has a label before the diagnosis as one being admitted to a mental health facility makes them “crazy”. Mental health has such a stigma attached to it, but with medical issues such as cancer there is not that stigma to stay away from one who has it. One having a mental disorder may have this illness as a pre existing condition, something that just happens beyond one’s control. It may be a chemical imbalance in ones brain, or an adaptation that had to happen in order for one to stay alive. Mental health should not have the kind of stigma that it has had since the ancient Greeks and Romans, it is 2009 and times are changing, technology is increasing. But yet there are still things scientists still do not know about it, “more people suffer from depression than heart disease, cancer and AIDS combined” (Skodol, 2007). One who suffers from a mental illness most likely always has an option to be on some type of medication; while medication can help some it may hinder others. Most hospital facilities tend to medicate for everything slowly adding to the idea of a “Prozac Nation”. It is fascinating that mental health facilities do not check their patients’ mouth to make sure they have taken their proper medication. In mental health facilities in 2009, they usually check ones mouth to make sure that medication is properly swallowed.

 There could be a correlation with Rosenhan’s study and the length of stay with patients in nineteen seventy-three. If patients were not taking their medication and disposing of it in the toilet as patients and pseudo patients did in the study they would not be able to receive the benefits of the medication. Medication can have great benefits for some patients especially patients with chemical imbalances within their brain. In 2009 in some mental health facilities the staff interacts with patients quite often, a lot more than in the Rosenhan study. Staff interaction can be a key component in maintaining calm, quiet within their unit. If staff does not interact with patients then they will not know if there is a patient having a difficult time. Also a psychiatrist should always observe a patients behavior because it could be different then what is exhibited within their consultations. Psychiatrists, nurses, and therapists should always be willing to answer ones questions when it concerns appropriate matters. As in Rosenhan’s study the patients of 2009 also feel as they have no privacy within a mental health facility mostly because of shared rooms. A lot of the common comforts of one’s home do not exist within a mental health facility; such as food choices and comfortable beds. But also patients have to realize that for some mental health facilities are not a choice, it is not a vacation destination. Mental health facilities do have their flaws but they do help one stay safe from danger.

Conclusion

David Rosenhan’s study showed the United States a lot about mental health and its practices. It also showed the stigma of mental health that still exists today. Pseudo patients got to experience what it is like to be in a mental health facility in the United States. Pseudo patients may still exist today within mental health facilities. Many aspects of the mental system got light shed on them, possibly changing the practices within them. Possibly having a smaller ratio between staff and patient, maybe more time out of “the cage”? Consequently, a change in medication procedures, limiting the amount of patients “cheeking” their meds by checking their mouths before they leave the medication window changes the effect of medication on a patient.  What has not changed from 1973 is the stigma of one’s mental illness. There is still a great deal of repercussion in relation to the type-two errors occurring in psychiatry. Misdiagnosis is prevalent among a percentage who claims to have a mental disorder. Just as in Rosenhan’s study with type-one errors there are professionals in mental health facilities today that feel some patients to be pseudo patients, in some cases it could be a manifestation of one’s symptoms, but no one really knows, not even scientists. When psychology students read of Rosenhan’s study they get to see the advancements in mental health and things that have remained the same. It is all in perspective.

“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is
suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends. If they're okay, then it's you.” — Rita Mae Brown

Summary: Coming out of the closet as someone engaged in BDSM and/or D/s can be a scary and complicated process. With involvement in the community and education of others, we find pride in who we are and the lifestyle.

I was engaged in a discussion last night with several people of varying experience with BDSM and D/s. This experience included one lady who had no experience with the lifestyle to another lady with over 17 years of experience. The discussion focused on the lady that had no experience. She was interested in BDSM and played around with it a bit on the internet, but was afraid to engage in the lifestyle in real life. After some discussion, it became clear that she was afraid of pursuing the lifestyle for several reasons and the two most evident reasons why were her lack of trust in other people and her own internalized shame over having BDSM and D/s tendencies.

The discussion reminded me of when I first started engaging in the lifestyle. I was scared as hell, but with a little bit of courage and after reading some books I ventured into the scene in real life for the first time. I can remember that some of that fear was shame and guilt based. I felt weird and alone for having an interest in the lifestyle and I also had preconceived notions on what the community was like before actually immersing myself in the community.

These preconceived notions, I feel, are a big reason why many of us stay “in the closet” when it comes to our lifestyle. What I mean by “preconceived notions” is the stereotypes that we all have about the lifestyle which include visions of whips and chains, leather-daddies clad in chaps preying on young boys, sexual deviance, and the “sinful” and “abusive” nature of engaging in BDSM and D/s activities. Let’s face it, the lifestyle has gotten a bad rap and this has been due in part to the still long held puritanical belief system that we have here in the United States. Upon actually engaging in the community, I found these stereotypes to be not only untrue, but also discriminating, unfounded, and unfair to a group of people mostly comprised of well-educated and professional persons.

To this day, I have to pick and choose who I choose to share my involvement with the community with. Not all people are receptive and open to my lifestyle. In particular, I do not share my lifestyle with my family, because they are very uncomfortable with it. It is interesting, being a gay male, I had to already come out of the closet once about my sexuality. I was happy to find that my family was loving and supporting of me and my sexual identity. However, I had to come out a second time with my BDSM and D/s lifestyle and was deeply hurt by the cold reception that came from my family. How could they be alright with me being gay, but not alright with me engaging in BDSM and D/s? The only answer that I could come up with is that they, like many people, see the lifestyle as being extremely deviant and extreme.

I would encourage greater education and exposure to people of what the community is all about and like. More events such as the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco and formalized luncheons/discussion groups that do not involve any play activity may help to better educate the public concerning our lifestyle. There is nothing wrong or anything to feel guilty or shamed about by being part of this community. If anything, there is a lot to be proud of. One thing that I think of the most when I start to feel guilt or shame about being part of the lifestyle is that, with BDSM and D/s, there is an expression of true trust that occurs between two or more people that just does not occur in vanilla encounters. There is also the concept of Safe, Sane, and Consensual that we all live by – a code of conduct that fosters mutual respect for one another and allows us to practice good boundaries. These are just a couple of the positive aspects of the lifestyle that I like to keep in mind that make me proud to be part of it.

If you find yourself having a hard time engaging the community for any of these reasons, I would encourage you to keep the aforementioned in mind, read a lot of books, attend a luncheon or gathering that does not include play, and find a friend or play partner that you can trust so that you can attend your first event together. Do not be afraid to come out of the closet as one who engages in BDSM and/or D/s, but also be weary of who you choose to share this information with. Ultimately, it is your sexuality which really is of no one’s business in the first place. When we do this, we take back control from others judging us based on our lifestyle and bring back control to ourselves which fosters feelings of pride instead of shame and guilt. Most of all, go about things at your own pace and never do anything that you are uncomfortable with. With a little investigation and more experience, you too will find yourself finally out of the BDSM/D/s closet with a sense of pride and comfort about your lifestyle.

**************************************************************

”An idea, like a ghost, must be spoken to a little before it will explain itself.”

                                                 ~ Charles Dickens ~

***************************************************************

When I say “wedding reception,” what do you think of? (Comments always welcome, of course!) For me, I think a hotel (or country club) ballroom, floral centerpieces, floor-length linens, lots of waitstaff, placecards, head table with the bride and groom and all their party, and a whole host of other traditional “weddingy” things.

When I say “party,” what do you think of? (Comments again, people!) I think jeans, beer, dips, lots of people, laughing, music and generally having a blast.

And except for maybe the jeans thing, I’m probably more a fan of a party than I am of a traditional wedding reception. It has everything I want without all the extra hoopla associated with the Wedding Industrial Complex (or the WIC, gratefully swiped from the head of Meg over at A Practical Wedding). A lot of wedding-related things (note the “things,” as that’s what most of it is) seem over-the-top and just wasteful. And not us.

When the FI and I got engaged, I asked him if he wouldn’t mind calling the bit after the church “our party” instead of “our reception,” in hopes that we both stay a little more grounded in this planning process. In doing that, we’ve already been able to visit a couple of venues and look at them as how we’d like to party, not how we’d like to have our reception. And it’s been fantastic.

You might not be able to see the difference between the two, and I’m not bashing anyone who is having a reception, but it’s a small distinction that helps to keep us grounded and sane.

What do you think?

I am in contact with beings from another world. They speak to me through my alphabet soup and alphabet cereal. Currently they are teaching me how to build fully functional magnetic propulsion system. So far it sounds surprisingly simple. I have to be careful though. The neighbor across the street is ex-CIA, I think. If I’m not careful he might report me to the government. I’m sure the government would confiscate everything. They might even interrogate and/or experiment on me. I’m really not cut out for that sort of thing. I would freak out and try to appeal to my persecutor’s humanity but it wouldn’t work because he will be a hardened professional.

My room has padded walls… This is because I like to be free to move around all crazy when I get excited. It is not because I am crazy and live in an asylum. If you tell anyone that I’m crazy my alien friends will prank you. They do some really good pranks. They once did this thing to a guy where they had all of his best friends go to his house and throw him a surprise party in bed and they were all giving him awesome presents like wii games and ice cream, but then they pulled off their faces and it turned out that they weren’t his best friends they were my best friends (the aliens) and the guy wasn’t in a bed, he was on a lab table. So needless to say they totally freaked him out. The worst part is they didn’t even let him keep any of the awesome presents. They just dropped him off naked somewhere and told him to enjoy being told that he is crazy.

So anyway, I can talk to aliens who are badass and I’m going to win the nobel prize just like Obama and Gore and everyone will love me. And, I’m completely sane and not at all crazy.

School Has Gone Back

For that I am into two minds about…..

I am glad that the house is quieter during the day, but also at the same time sad that it is quiet.

Does that make sense? Not sure if does, but it is what it is.

I love being busy, and having the five boys at home sure keep me busy. But I also love the quiet times.

Take yesterday for instance. It was NOT one of my good days. I was low on energy and then the boys picked up on that and became even more loud, even more boisterous then normal. Which soon became like a never ending circle….me trying to keep calm (which did not last for long) with the boys becoming even more difficult to get back down off the ceiling.

You may laugh but it is not a funny matter.

I had pleaded with David take at least one of the boys with him to a conference in Brisbane that he was attending but he did not really understand my “Please don’t leave me home with five boys by myself today as I am so very tired!!” pleading…pleading.

So here I was trying to take deep breathes while they ran through the house, stirring and teasing each other. To which they thought was so very funny. I even (silly me!!) asked my second oldest to clean out the fridge for me…for which would be a job that he would be payed for.  It was all going really well, until he thought it would be funny to get a capsicum out of the fridge and proceed to throw it through the house. Of course the said capsicum did not stay intact…in fact it ended up in three different rooms of the house

While I was taking double breathes…..and trying my hardest not to cry, the same gorgeous child then decided cleaning out the fridge was way too boring….left the fridge door ajar and went out the back yard to tie his younger brothers bike up a tree as a “silly joke”. Will that was when I really lost it….I am sorry but no deep breathing would work this time.

I let rip…..”please take the bike out of the tree” at the top of my voice.  Second oldest was not happy with being pulled up for his so called “Joke”. I was at my wits end, so what did I do? Stuck my bum in the air…head down and cleaned out the fridge. Well it needed to be done and it was the only way I could think of to cool down Oh and had a good cry!!

So at the end of the day…the house was finally cleaned. The kids were feed and I let David have it!! Not sure if he was game enough to come to bed last night as I went to bed early, and he was left to get his own dinner.

Today was a better day….So much better.

David did not even have to ask if he should take some of the boys shopping with him….he just let me know that he was taking two of them!!

I did not ask any of them to help with cleaning the house…..actually I did not even try to clean the house.

Today I let it all go….and for that I am smiling.

Smiling and thinking, tomorrow is another day.

Oh and its Monday, which means schools on again!

Love sent to all the families that have children as fun as ours, and to all parents that stay as sane as me:)

Lisa