My laptop has died. I was running behind on updating my blog in the first place, and then my laptop went and died on me. Technically, the laptop’s not mine, it’s T’s, but since we publicly agreed to share everything all those years ago, I can claim it as mine too. Anyways, it gave up the ghost on Tuesday and refused to power on despite all my entreaties. The guys from Hewlett-Packard are coming to take it away today. Hopefully, they’ll be able to restore it to its former glory. I am currently using a netbook. Again, it’s T’s. I don’t like netbooks, I find them too fiddly and too dinky. However, I don’t have much of a choice. I can either sit in bed with netbook on my lap, Ebaby lying next to me, and Etoddler toddling about in my warm room, or I can haul myself into the much colder study, Ebaby on my lap and pound away at my keyboard while trying to hold a very wriggly baby. I am a firm believer in ease and comfort, hence the fiddly, dinky Samsung netbook. I hope it stays alive, at least till I finish writing this.

Anyways, I digress. As usual.

We have this televised competition here where I live. It is called the X Factor. It is a singing contest, with contestants or acts who are mentored by any of four judges. One of the judges is called Simon Cowell. He came up with the format for the show. Whichever act wins gets a recording contract, in the meantime, they are all under a contractual obligation to the X-Factor till April next year, win or lose.

Every week, the great British public cast their votes for the act they like the most. The two acts with the fewest votes have to sing for their survival. The judges then vote for the act they want to save. In the event of their votes being tied, or ending up in ‘deadlock’ as they term it, the decision reverts back to the public, the act that received the fewest public votes then leaves the competition.

Following me so far?  The contestants this year have been a mixed bunch. Some can sing, but don’t have the likeability factor. Some can sing, and dance, and have the likeability factor.  Some can sing, can’t dance, and have the likeability factor. And there is this act called John and Edward. Or Jedward. They are 18-year-old twins. Their voices are decent enough, but they don’t got rhythm i.e they can’t dance. What they lack in rhythm though, they make up in sheer enthusiasm. They bound about on the stage with reckless abandon, their only concession to choreography being their matching outfits. It is quite a spectacle to see twins mirroring each other so well in everything, except when they attempt to dance.

They are the Sanjaya (American Idol) of X-Factor, the act that remains week after week, against all odds. They caused an uproar this week, because for the first time since the start of this competition, they ended up in the bottom two. Simon had the deciding vote, he cast it in their favour, and the decision as to whether or not they stayed was passed back to the public vote. They hadn’t received the fewest votes, and so were saved, at least for another week.

And then the uproar began. People the length and breadth of England expressed their outrage. They were mad at Simon. Because he had dared leave it to the voting public to decide who should stay and who should go. They railed at him for daring to use his vote to save the lads, after having denigrated, reviled, castigated and grudgingly praised them in turn over the past few weeks. ‘X Factor is a scam and a sham’ they cried. ‘Simon Cowell is an idiot’ others raged. They were angry that he had not taken the opportunity to vote off Jedward when he’d had the chance to, after he had spent so much time talking about why they did not belong in the competition. Some went as far as to say they were not going to watch the show anymore.

Me, I looked and I laughed. I believe strongly that a lot of the complaints were from people who had never cast a in favour of any of the acts in the first place, yet they had taken umbrage at the decision of the voting viewers. These people had also forgotten that Simon held all the cards regardless of whether or not one of his acts won the competition. He gets to sign the winning act to his record label, regardless of whether or not he was their mentor. He also gets to keep a proportion of the advertising revenue, as well as income generated from the phone votes. All in all, Mr. Cowell’s laughing all the way to the bank, regardless of all his detractors.

I have a favourite, his name is Olly Murs. I’ll cheer if he wins, but won’t shed a tear if he doesn’t. I don’t vote, so won’t be complaining about the results. I’ll also keep watching the X Factor. Thanks for stopping by.

I think Annop has an incredible sexy voice!

It will be interesting to see what style of music he decides to do.

He didn’t really classify what he wanted to do when he was on tour.

I think he’ be great for ballad songs, love songs, like David Archuleta.

He’s got that rich kind of voice.

The only advice I’d have for Anoop is to get an incredible designer to provide some snazzy outfits for him.

During the American Idol Show I wasn’t too crazy about some of the stuff he wore, it was more street clothing then performing.

I think if he changed his style of dress, did some cool songs, he would do well with album sales!

That’s only my opinion but from what I’ve seen of the Stars, the way you dress can influence people in a BIG way!

Look at Sanjaya he was known for his wacky sense of humor and hair! LOL

Remember when Heidi Montag’s sister Holly claimed that: “She’s not nude,” her sister Holly Montag told Us Weekly. “Her Maxim cover was so gorgeous and tasteful, and I know Playboy is going to be the same.”
And yes, Holly is dating Sanjaya Malakar from American Idol. Whereas Stephanie Pratt is dating Brett Novek of VH1’s America’s Most Smartest Models. Lets chalk this up as Pratts 1, Montags -5.

Yes, you read right, the SHEPratt is dating this guy… Amazing – I guess even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while (shout out EK).

The point of American Idol isn’t the music.  If viewers just wanted to hear good singers, they have any number of options that waste less time and brain cells than watching Idol once a week: that is, albums, YouTube videos, concert footage, etc.

Why do people watch it, then?  For the bad music.  That’s why it’s amusing: we can watch people like Alexis Cohen (RIP), William Hung, or Sanjaya.  Yeah, we love Jennifer Hudson (speaking of Motown style) and Adam Lambert because they can actually sing.  But we buy their albums and see their films regardless of American Idol–that is to say, they have appeal that can carry them beyond their 15 minutes of novelty fame.  But the other ones would never come to public attention without the show.

Better entertainment than some of the truly horrific performances, though, are the judges.  I’m not talking about Randy and Kara.  I mean Simon Cowell’s snark and Paula Abdul’s absurdity.  This last is what Salon writers hated on a few weeks ago:

…Paula Abdul is a disaster in slow motion.  Every time the camera turns its focus to her, she smiles weakly and looks embarrassed, then searches wildly for something to say.  She stumbles on her words, giggles nervously, and trails off halfway mid-sentence, or is interrupted by an impatient Cowell.  It’s like handing a 2-year-old a Mr. Microphone.

From the few times I’ve seen the show (and from my little brother Donovan’s testimony, who loves it so much that he once told me to call him back in an hour when I called him inadvertently during Idol to say happy birthday), this is more or less an accurate description.

Americans by and large don’t watch TV for competence (with the notable exception of successful shows like Mad Men, et al.).  We watch the talking heads spewing what we know to be inaccuracies (i.e. Lou Dobbs and the Obama birther conspiracy), reality shows that make a point of sleep-depriving and inebriating their contestants for maximum argument potential, etc.  I’m not judging; I’m just telling it like it is.

And we don’t watch American Idol to see good music.  We watch it to see Paula make a train wreck of herself, hope at least a few contestants do the same, listen to Simon tear both apart, and when all that’s over with, perhaps hear a decent singer or two.

That’s why I’m actually sad that Paula’s leaving, unlike Salon’s TV staff.  The pop-music phenomenon that is American Idol is, in the end, much more dependent on Americans’ taste for spectacular failure and the rare burst of success against steep odds: that is, more dependent on our ideas about the music business than on our ideas about the aesthetics of music itself.  Without the quirks of the many personalities involved in making it, Idol producers won’t have a show, even if they keep sifting through the chaff of the American quest for fame and finding decent performers.

UPDATE: Speaking of Obama birthers…Salon thinks Orly Taitz should be the next Paula Abdul.  Orly Taitz is indeed an amusing nutjob, but I’m more partial to their suggestion of Sarah Palin.  It’s perfect for all involved: America loves to watch Palin self-immolate (the fake America, that is–the real America loves her non-ironically); Palin loves America’s attention; Palin will need a job once she realizes that she has no chance in the next election cycle.  Courtney Love is potentially also a good choice, but she seems less pugilistic than Sarah Palin, which means she wouldn’t be as funny.

There are tons of bad hair days to be had by peeps all around the world. Celebrities get the most flak when their hair isn’t perfect for the red carpet or when the paps come sneaking up on them for a pic. I couldn’t help but to show some bad hair on a few randoms and some who were/are on Hollywood’s “B” list.

Like this guy… Sanjaya from American Idol. Hardly a celebrity but ppl still go up to him for autographs. For doing what? Recently he was on NBC’s reality show I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. Gawd.

Look below at this gorgeous two-tone amazing hair!

I want this look for my wedding. (jokes)

Cornfields. I also hated the Children of the Corn movie franchise.

Def NOT in the running toward becoming America’s Next Top Model.

Scary in pictures and scary in real life.
Smile harder please.

Miss Fuggy Fug in the houseeee.

Ok, this pic is old but sorry guys… the hair is super WHACK!

Her tears have taken her a long way… Now she goes backstage with Allison Iraheta!

It has been a while since I have posted but I feel some recent events are blog worthy.

Let me give this story a little bit of a background. We were in LA a few months back and I really needed a haircut but it was Memorial Day, so most barbershops were closed. I finally found one that was open, hopped in a cab by myself (bad idea) and was on my way. Long story short, I arrived at the barbershop, to discover it was a guys house and his barbershop, it was not the most sanitary of conditions but I needed a haircut. I got my haircut, and tried to ignore the lack of barbicide to keep things clean.

Fast forward to this week, my hair had finally grown out and I was feeling the itch to cut it. Hopefully the itch isn’t lice from the barbershop in LA.

I made an appointment at Supreme Cuts in Seattle, with John. The only guy I trust to cut my hair. Living in suburbia I have had some not so pleasant hair experiences (getting your fade, taper or line up is not meant to be done in the South Hill mall, so please parents spare your children). I wanted this hair cut to be different, I was tired of my usual haircut. So I hit up Google and finally found what I wanted. Being me, I printed out a picture brought it to Supreme Cuts and John made magic happen.

I left the shop, met up with some friends at Tutta Bella, they loved it. I get home to see my wife and her response was emotion filled too. “Babe, no you didn’t.” I replied, “Didn’t do what?” She then retracted and said she liked it. It took much coercion to get her real opinion out. When it came out it was really funny. Here’s how the dialogue went. “What do you not like about my hair, be honest?” She replied, “Well, I think it looks like Sanjaya!” I couldn’t even respond, I just started laughing.

In closing, I can deal with Sanjaya. My style has always been forward. But I have never been compared to Sanjaya. Hopefully this comparison will never be made again.

TJ Sparks brought my attention to a forum the other day that had a topic on it of a “Things I hate” so, I decided why not put one up, so here we go…

- Today, in my English 12 class, we got asked, “In 5 years down the road, where do you see yourself?” I actually got mad at this question and the teacher who asked us to write about it. How the fuck am I supposed to plan or ’see’ myself in the future. It is fucking ridiculous. I should explain… I am the guy who always see the glass as half empty instead of half full. I look at almost everything in a negative sense. So, I must be weird or something because I just don’t see the planning and preparation that goes into something like this. How can anyone in the right state of mind…?

- Everyone tells me, I should have dreams and goals, but I do not. This goes with the whole rant about “5 years from now.” I have dreams and goals, I usually end up just failing at them anyway. If I have a goal or dream and one little part of it doesn’t work. I go almost bat shit crazy. I rather just live day to day and just hope I get to be tormented and demeaned another day.

- Working hard — fine. Playing hard — not really a massive fan. From what I can gather, ‘playing hard’ mainly involves clocking off from work, not even having time to change your socks or have any food or drinks, immediately engaging in some kind of contact sport and not having a bathing after wards, then drinking beer and taking the piss out of your schoolmate Jack for his terrible bloody taste in smokes while missing the newest episodes of Scrubs, before finally going to a nightclub and staying up really late talking to girls who’ve never even heard of Fallout 3. Er… no thanks!

- I hate how any gay guy can feel up, one of their chicks and yet when I do it, it gets all, “Oh, that’s really creepy and inappropriate, I think you should just leave, and now I’m in a really difficult position because I don’t know whether to tell your girlfriend or not. Anyway, you’re not even really my friend, you’re just a mate of Jason’s and I only met you about two hours ago. No seriously, stop touching them.” It’s a double standard, plain and simple.

- Fucking mutes. They always seem to be witnessing something. A murder, a robbery, a rape. It’s like they’ve always got to be sticking their big silent beaks in where they’re not wanted. Eh, mutes — how about you just get on with your own lives for once?

- I hate people who are obsessed with horses and talk about them all the livelong day and have posters of them on their bedroom walls/are convinced that by not owning a horse, their lives are unfulfilled. And, if they do own a horse. Oh my god, the fuck sake can’t save you from that.

- Those teachers who set ridiculous amounts of work *cough* Mrs. Vance *cough*, expect you to do it at an amazing and expectantly rate of speed and amazement that they want to see everyone get hand cramps in class and be rolling in the floor in crippled agony and disgust.

- I hate days that are gray but don’t rain. What’s the point? If it’s going to be cloudy and gloomy, then go ahead and rain. It’s like a wasted effect. Sure, just go ahead and depress the hell outta everyone, but don’t finish the job.

- I hate pushy drivers. It’s just irritating. Here she comes, in an SUV, talking on a cell, smoking a cig and going about 30 MPH faster than I’m going and I’m already behind someone traveling the right speed on a two-lane road. But does that stop her? Nope. She just keeps barreling up to my bumper and then starts veering over to make sure I notice her in all of my rear-view mirrors. I could go on, but I’m sure you’ve been there. She’s probably got pure McDonald’s coffee in her veins.

- Cigarette smoke smells on clothing. Way worse than just the pure smoke. Especially on chain smokers. You know the type, they are usually in K-Mart (I did that on purpose) and you get behind them or are checking them out and “wooohf!” it just takes over the entire aisle and then permeates YOUR clothing too like it’s ALIVE, it’s ALIVE!!! Get me out of there!

- People who are late. Especially those who show up with zero excuse. Come on, at least make something up! Last time this happened to me the girl just looked at me as if to say, “What? This is normal for me.” I’ve dropped habitual late friends from my list. Including my own mother. Seriously. This is a big deal for me.

- Impatient people. Watch out, because if I’m helping you that only makes me want to make you wait longer.

- Bret Michaels not admitting to wearing a weave or wig. Come on dude. I mean, he was good with Poison, but now he is just getting sad. Who in there right mind would wanna date him or his VH1 dating show brother, Flava Flav? Plus, adding on with the reality show hating, knowing that people like Omarosa, Sanjaya, and New York from Flavor of Love exist.

- Jon and Kate Plus Eight. Those kids are damn brats and the women is a bitch and dude is a whipped prick.

- People who hate the show Scrubs……LOOKING AT YOU, MR. TROY “TJ” SPARKS!

- Not having enough time to blog, read, watch DVD’s, or sleep. I miss all of these things terribly. I really want to finish my the No Country For Old Men book.

- Teenagers who act like idiots in public.

- People who actually think Disturbed’s song, “Down With The Sickness” is a good song. Only people who listen to that song are chicks who want to think they are ‘metal’.

- You.

Tonight’s recap for those of you who missed it, First celebrity eliminated from the jungle was Sanjaya, second celebrity was Patti, leaving the remaining celebrities: Torrie, John and Lou to battle it out, tomorrow is going to be special because all of the the past eliminated are going to visit the camp, I know this is going to be exciting!!

Votes are now open again, so save your fave!

Tonight was the last episode before tomorrow’s finale. The celebrities reflected on their favorite moments on the camp. They also got to have Jungle Award, where they got to title themselves and other camp-mates that have left. There was another individual food trial tonight, each celebritites must obtain 5 flags on a rope across a river. Sanjaya and John were the 2 fastest persons to finish the challenge, so they got to eat bread salad tonight.

Also tonight, double elimination. The host announced that Torri and Lou were, so Sanjaya, John, and Patti were not. Sanjaya became the first person to leave tonight. He had done really well in the game; he won 9 out of 12 trials. When interviewed, Sanjaya said that he had grown up from jungle boy into a rainforest man. The also asked about his “relationship” with Holly, but he was being very shy about it. The next celebrity to go was Patti. During her stay in the camp, she developed friendships with everyone, especially John. She even planning to do a reunion camping with everyone next year. She was hoping Torri to win to represent the girl.

So on the finale tomorrow: Torri Wilson, Lou Diamond, and John Salley. The winner will also decided by public vote. The phone lines are now open, and we’ll find out who will be the King or Queen of the Jungle. To vote for John, call 1-877-5-keep-05, Lou call 1-877-5-keep-06, or Torri call 1-877-5-keep-11. You can also vote online at nbc.com/im-a-celebrity. Tomorrow on the finale, all the celebrities would meet again. It should be interesting to see, so don’t forget to tune in tomorrow at 8 pm EST.

have you noticed?

mohawks are so awesome, they even make these guys look sexy…

"London" from Daisy of Love

Sanjaya from I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here

Plus, Bonus Celebrity Baby Mohawk:

    I bet you are thinking this will be a philosophical monologue about reality, well you would be wrong. It’s a monologue about a reality of sorts though, reality TV. Oh yes, that wonderful fluffishness, semi-scripted, time waster. I have to admit that I love that crap and I don’t feel the need to apologize for my love of bubble-gum-fluffy-faux-reality television programs. You will just have to deal with it. I think they are fun. My sister also loves it and she is uber intelligent so I feel quite justified in my love of crap tv. If it’s good enough for her, it’s most certainly good enough for me.

    Once again I have fallen prey to the brain freezing effects of a new tv show, ‘I’m a celebrity, get me out of here!’ I got sucked in. Janice Dickinson is fabulous, and by fabulous I mean a complete hot mess. She’s got Sanjaya (he of American Idol fame…if you can call it fame…) on a short leash. Ok so it’s a diamond studded leash probably from Harry Winston, but it’s still short. The mohawk sporting Idol wannabe is a self proclaimed ‘jungle boy’. He LOVES the jungle. It’s his happy place. He’s literally covered in insect bites. His gangly limbs flail around and he jumps like you put a firecracker under his ass every time Janice squawks that she needs her feet rubbed, or her back rubbed, or I am guessing…her ego rubbed.

    But for me what makes this show watchable is the inclusion of Speidi. For those of you not in ‘the know’, Speidi are Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt from the Hills. Ahh the Hills, another ‘reality’ show. It’s scripted, it’s craptacular, it’s all about fabulous looking twenty-somethings who live in the Hollywood Hills. I recommend that unless you can afford to lose a few IQ points that you avoid this show like the plague.

    Heidi spends her time in the jungle trying to destroy the ozone layer by constantly spraying her hair extensions with dry shampoo. When she’s not crying because there are bugs and the jungle is dirty, she’s vomiting because she has been ‘tortured’ by having to live in a dark dirty shed with little food and lots of bugs. A few of the other celebs stole Heidi’s belongings including her precious dry shampoo. The barbarians even ripped the labels off her bottles. Awwww. Poor Heidi. She’s either crying or spraying her hair. It’s a win win situation here people.

    Spencer Pratt, and believe me his is one, a HUGE one, found Jesus whilst in the jungle. And you’ll love this part…Stephen Baldwin baptized him in the jungle river. You just can’t make this shit up! Oh wait…you can. Sorry. Stephen Baldwin, in my opinion, is all sorts of crazy. Still, Spencer is so annoying that if I were Stevie B I would have left his head under the water a tad longer…

    It may not have replaced ‘American Idol’ in my heart, but since there is nothing worth while on television during the summer, I will continue to stayed tuned to the trainwreck that is ‘Get me out of here, I’m a celebrity!” Sadly Speidi left the jungle in a fit, but then came back. Then they left again because they are too famous. These two can’t make up their minds. But they DO make for fantastic tv viewing. Who knows if they are off the show for good. Only time will tell. Are Heidi and Spencer desperate losers or brilliant actors who have parleyed their famewhoring ways into a fortune? You be the judge.

    That’s me then.

I watched it again last night, “I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here.”  It’s become a dark pleasure.  It started as a catch-up with Sanjaya  and his jungle boy ways, but as of last night it’s all about Janet Dickinson.

At first it was only skin deep. She’s a rich, former super model, right? So why, at 55, does her face pull in all the wrong directions?  Maybe a bad surgery, but I like her lips. I guess people aren’t satisfied with growing older gracefully–at least nobody in Hollywood.

Janet is misunderstood. The Baldwin Brothers pick on her.  Okay, she peed in camp but a part of me relates.  We all do things that don’t turn out the way we want and, depending on how hurting we are,  people’s reactions can feel like persecution.

She snuck a whole bar on her own and asked for more.  The other ladies shared the remaining three granola bars with her, knowing she probably already took one.  She just stood there with her hand out and took all they would give.  That made me angry at first; but those other women gave her the benefit of the doubt and, hungry as they were, forked over a full share.

I don’t know what the future will bring for Janice and her fellow campers. That’s why I’ll be watching. She has a chance to grow and maybe a chance to snatch another granola bar. They have a chance to lose control. Either way I’ll be watching.

The show may not be so much about Janet’s heart and whether or not she comes up good.  Maybe the beauty of someone like Janet is what she can bring out in the rest of us.

I am usually freaking out when I’m watching this show since I hate frogs, bugs, snakes, lizards, spiders, and all the other creepy creatures that these people are having to deal with on reguarly basis.  But more importantly, here are some quotables from tonight’s show.

• Spencer using his name as a verb… “You don’t want to see me Spence Out.”
• John Salley officially called this show “Jesus Camp”
• Spencer uttering the words “I decided to think before I talk….” – My hubby thought that one was really funny
• Spencer yelling and screaming in the middle of the jungle, “Jesus can you hear us!!!! Of course you can!!!”

Sanjaya…. this kid is really entertaining.  He is trying to communicate with the jungle animals.  He is making crafts, furniture, tools and other things with materials he is finding in the jungle.  And he is just overall super happy kid.

Speidi is officially off the show again.  But I’m not sure if I totally buy that.  I would not be surprised if they walk back on to the camp site.

Just in case you were wondering, as a Christian, yes, I do find it really annoying that Heidi and Spencer are going around yelling religious things around the camp.  I feel like if you are a true Christian, you don’t have to go around pushing religion/God in people’s faces….

Now that it’s summer hiatus and there isn’t much new on TV to watch or write about, I’ve decided to take on an experiment of sorts.  Each week I will force myself to sit through a show I can’t stand, but for some inexplicable reason gets a lot of press and somewhat decent ratings.  It’s going to be painful, but interesting…I hope.  For the first edition, I decided to watch the reality show I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.  This damn show is in the news every day – why????  I could care less if Hedi and Spencer Pratt have quit the show…oh no wait they’re back…oh they quit again…just kidding now they’re back and one of them is dying or some shit.  Ugghhhh…make it go away.  Okay, back to the experiment.  After suffering through this ridiculous show here are my thoughts on it.

First of all, let’s start with the title “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.”  Ummmm…I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but no, you’re not celebrities.  I’m not even sure who half of you are and I’m pretty on top of my celeb gossip.  Let’s check out the list of “celebrities” on the show:

Heidi and Spencer Pratt: Two douches who waded through the douche pool of LA to somehow find each other and morph into the Uber-Douche.  Oh and they really heart Jesus or at least they claim this on the show.  Sorry Heidi and Spencer, but I just talked to Jesus and he says, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Stephen Baldwin: Alec Baldwin’s brother who made a couple movies in the ’90s.  Not famous.

Daniel Baldwin: Same as Stepehn Baldwin, cept he didn’t make a couple movies in the ’90s.

Janice Dickinson: Okay Janice, I’ll give this one to you.  You’re kind of a celebrity, but only kind of.

Sanjaya Malakar: People voted for this kid on American Idol, because he massively sucked and they thought it was funny.  This doesn’t make you a celebrity, this makes you a national joke.

Torrie Wilson: Can someone please tell me who this chick is?  NBC says she’s a former pro-wrestler, but she weighs like 90 lbs.  How can she be a wrestler?  I feel like my 13 year old cousin could take her on and win.

John Salley: No idea. Athlete?? Maybe??

Lou Diamond Phillips: Hi, my name is Lou.  I was La Bamba and famous in the ’80s.  Now…not so much.

Frangela: I’ve seen these chicks on those Vh1 I Love the Whatever shows.  They’re actually pretty funny, but I still wouldn’t call them celebrities.

Now let’s talk about the show and my reactions to it.  Firstly, the so called “torture” of Heidi and Spencer that was so hyped up in the media was the biggest let down ever.  That was not torture.  You know what torture is?  Having to watch these two tools on TV.  Next time, try making them watch clips of themselves on The Hills over and over and over again.  No one can survive that kind of psychological torture and actually, this is what the U.S. uses now instead of water-boarding.

Next impression. I thought I was watching a reality show, when did this become bible camp?  Seriously, I haven’t heard so many people talk about God and Jesus since the CCD classes my Mom made me take as a kid.

I really can’t stand thinking about this show anymore, so here are a few of final thoughts on this farce of a show.  One, I felt worse for the animals in that weird tank of water challenge than I did for Janice or Sanjaya.  Two, Heidi went to the hospital…but I heard she came back, yet another let down.  Three, I had to turn this show off a little over an hour into it and four, I’m never watching it again.

Check back next week to see how my second edition of Experimental TV goes.  I’m thinking about suffering through The Bachelorette, but if guys have any suggestions for another horrible show – feel free to let me know!

After a gut-wrenching first 3 episodes this is the final night in the first week of the show. Sorry if you hate it but I became hooked. Anyway it’s time for the first vote off tonight.

Patti is the first contestant saved from elimination.

Who will be eliminated tonight?

To be completely honest I would toss out Torrie. So far she’s the only person that I haven’t really noticed unless I’m just not paying attention to her specifically, however, everyone else’s personality has stood out to me already.

Anyway big night.

Double the Baldwins.
Minus one female.
Plus the two most fearless people on the show…none other than….SPEIDI!! That is if they survive AND if they’re islandmates even want them around anymore.

Spencer seems to be having a bi-polar, schitzo thing going on here. Every other shot you see him in almost he’s a completely different person from the shot before. If he is playing some kind of weird mental strategy on us all to get him to stay then kudos, Spence you are doing an amazing job. However, as I relive some of these lovely moments over and over again (thank you NBC-very prompt!) it seems to me his big tough macho act is getting fueled with him being caught like a fool for not actually being able to endure the mental and pyhiscal feats, and bugs! It’s o.k. Spence not even a non-celebrity would be Rambo in the jungle. We’ll forgive you if you keep it cool this time…but then what’s the fun in watching you?

“I’m a celebrity get me out of here!‘ is PURE entertainment in sooo many different levels.  John and I just watched the first 3 episodes back to back and even John laughed out loud couple of times.  Trust me, that’s a really rare thing.  Here are some memorable moments from the show.

HEIDI and SPENCER.  SPEIDI… I don’t even know where to begin with this.  Spencer is an ass and because he’s an ass, it’s HILARIOUS on the show.  Here are some memorable moments of Heidi and Spencer so far.

1. Heidi and Spencer already walked out of the show 3 times and came back. 
2. Spencer got baptized in the river by Stephen Baldwin before walking off one more time. 
3. The other celebrities decided to split Heidi and Spencer’s items after they walked off, and when they came back, Heidi cried and cried because they took the label off of her hair spray.
4. Heidi and Spencer prayed for Patti Blagojevich while holding hands.
5. Spencer “faking” the other contestants or as he calls them, his “servants”.
6. Heidi claiming that the “devil” got them to leave the show for the 3rd time on Live TV.
7. Spencer losing a challenge because he ate the garnish as well as the bug.
8. Heidi/Spencer/Sanjaya doing the fire dance  around the camp fire.
9. Heidi and Spencer sleeping with their mouths open in a hammock as the othere celebrities were taking pictures of them.

And it goes on and on and on and on.  And yes, John Salley cried because Janice Dickenson wouldn’t accept his apology….   This show got me out of my mourning period of Fringe’s season being over.

I think I just might have to give a daily update on this show.  Too entertaining not to.  Did I mention that Gina and I actually met one of the contestants on the show?

The first season of this show was terrible. I remember watching the beginning few episodes before losing interest but I have to say despite Heidi and mainly Spencer playing up to the cameras…I didn’t think it was that bad. Spencer was almost to much to bare sometimes but I got over it just to see what a buffoon he really is. The only thing I know about the Hills is what I get from Joel McHale and The Soup so I already have a huge amount of disdain for the two of them and clearly Heidi and Spencer didn’t know what they were signing up for.

Besides these two we have the usual cast of celebreality people. Washed up actors, Stephen Baldwin, has been athletes, and little known commedians… you know the usual group. A few surprises have to be Sanjaya and Patti Blagojevich however both of them are somewhat timely cast despite nobody knowing who they are in a couple of years…someone should tell that to Spencer.

Unfortunately this show might turn into crap…like crap….it is a summer reality tv show mind you with Spencer and Heidi calling it quits so soon but I can enjoy this first episode. Patti got caught in the river, Stephen Baldwin tried to be the leader and Frangela was completely out of shape. Sanjaya was a bit to keen to be back in the spotlight and I am pretty sure Lou Diamond and John Salley were wondering what they were doing out there.

Again all the drama really centered around Spencer and Heidi who tried to quit multiple times and then came back. When the other contestants thought they had left they took their things and then Spencer and Heidi walked back into camp. Spencer was already extremely pissed off so he decided to start a large fight and then moments later he “apologized” in probably some of the worst acting (if you can call it that) I’ve ever seen. However now that nobody thinks that The Hills is real it was quite funny seeing Spencer talking about Heidi crying real tears on camera for the first time.

So with Heidi and Spencer gone, and they will gladly champion this, the ratings will go down and quite frankly the show won’t be worth watching. Janice has the upper hand after coming in second in the eighth series of the UK version but I can even see her getting eliminated early probably leaving us with an incredibly boring final week. What is worse though were how bad sports Heidi and Spencer were the whole time, they didn’t even compete in whatever challenge the show had at the end of the show…spoiled much? It will be great seeing these two still try to famewhores when The Hills ever ends.

Last night we watched I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here. At first we thought Heidi and Spencer were semi-brilliant for going on this show because we got to see a different side of them- a human side.  But then it got out of hand.  Heidi showed a nymph side saying she couldn’t go three weeks without having sex without Spencer.

But very shortly after, Speidi was up to their old tricks.  It was like an episode of theHills. The group thought Speidi left like they threatened to do seventeen times, so someone took Heidi’s shampoo/hair spray and removed the labels.   So Spencer goes in “revenge mode” and hides another contestant’s (wrestler Torri Wilson) backpack.

Next thing you know Spencer’s slapping a water bottle out of Angela Shelton, a female VH1 comedians hand!  That’s not all, he gets in her face like he wants to fight her.  This is making Jason’s Wahler’s allegations of Spencer fighting like a girl seem all too true.

Click here to see Spencer act like a girl

Then Spencer calls the NBC chairmen to tell them he’s too good to be on the show with a bunch of nobody’s.  He says:

“I’m too rich and I’m too famous to be sitting with these people and cleaning up their s*** in the jungle, my man. And this cast is devaluing our fame right now. I’m sitting next to VH1 comedians that I have never even seen before… I thought it was gonna be all celebrities,” Spencer told Ben. “Stars of shows get treated like stars, dude. I’m f***ing supposed to be cleaning up John Salley’s s*** in a bucket? Dude! You’ve never cleaned up your own s*** let alone taken John Salley’s s*** to the creek, have you? Don’t throw me in the jungle and try and make me your little guinea pig torture act.”

After NBC convinces him to stay, he tells the rest of the group he’s too rich and famous to do the show.

Honestly, Spencer Pratt, who do you think you are?  You’re certainly no where near any Forbes list.  And those celebrities didn’t know who you were anymore than you claim not to know who they are.  Sanjaya had to explain to John Salley and Lou Diamond Phillips who a Heidi and a Spencer was.  And as for those “VH1 comedians” Spencer put down, at least they have some talent.  Once theHills is over who’s gonna listen to Heidi sing or Spencer rap?  Because besides theHills, appearances and other money they get because they’re relevant, what else are they bringing in?  John Salley had enlightening words when he said fame is an addiction.  It is, and it kills people.

Now, the Pratts have reportedly had another tantrum and left the show.  They wouldn’t have left if they were winning money at the end instead of giving it to charity.

And the worst part is Spencer may be acting like an idiot just for publicity and manipulation, just like on theHills. We’re about ready to stop giving it to him.  He says:

“We went into this whole show with the plan of making everybody just have no idea what to think about us — whether [we] are somebody they wanna make an alliance with or worthless,” he said in another confessional cam. “I don’t trust anybody right now. Janice [Dickinson] is my only pseudo alliance because I respect her and I like her, but right now it’s all about winning.”

Although Heidi was way less annoying than Spencer, she married him and usually seems okay with his antics.  The picture of Heidi crying that surfaced yesterday is perhaps enough karma for their dreadful behavior on the show.  Of Heidi’s crying, Spence says, “First time your crying on TV is not fake.”

Click here to see Heidi’s breakdown

Did they not know there were hidden cameras on them at all times?