I give up. You win John McCain, you can have all of the headlines until the election. You aren’t going to win the election, but you have the attention of the press again. Well, okay, YOU specifically don’t, but your daughter VP does.

So today’s hot story is that Sarah Palin’s 17 year old, unwed daughter is knocked up. Yes, this is precisely the role model women want for their children. The conservatives freaked out about Clinton and having to discuss his affairs with their kids, do you really think they are voting for someone who is going to force them to talk about teen sex?!!! Uh, no. Most Evangelicals just hand their kids some kind of light pamphlet about waiting until marriage and consider that sex-ed. These people are averse to serious discussions about sex with their kids and Sarah Palin isn’t helping with this. Maybe it’s just me, but I want my VP to have as little in common with Lynn Spears as possible. Did McCain’s campaign vet her at all?

Oh, but we aren’t done yet. See Sarah Palin really ends the whole role model for our young daughters thing by being photographed in a t-shirt that says “I may be broke, but I ain’t flat-busted”. Yes, because today’s impressionable young girls need to be told that wealth and intelligence don’t matter as long as you have big tits. This is going to look great on the next Focus on The Family magazine cover.

I just cannot imagine this country electing a Vice President, one who would be much closer to being president than ever before with McCain being so old and having had cancer twice, who is just so unpresidential.

This isn’t a Vice President of the US.

This isn’t even the Vice President of the Piggly Wiggly!

Sarah Palin is making George Bush looked refined and dignified. I don’t want my daughters wearing a shirt that says this:

This is the same woman mired in abuse of power and ethics scandals, tied to big oil, self proclaimed ignorant on foreign policy, and is firmly against women’s issues like equal pay for women and abortion under any circumstances (including rape and incest). Plainly said, Sarah Palin is a disaster of a ploy by John McCain and the polls clearly show the American people see right through it. Sarah Palin isn’t change, she is George Bush’s long lost little sister.

And finally, Sarah Palin caps off a busy day of ruining John McCain’s campaign by dropping this little gem in a questionnaire regarding the pledge of allegiance;

Question: Are you offended by the phrase “Under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance? Why or why not?

Palin: Not on your life. If it was good enough for the founding fathers, its good enough for me and I’ll fight in defense of our Pledge of Allegiance.

Founding fathers? Bless her stupid little heart. I almost can’t bear to tell her that the pledge wasn’t around back then or that “Under God” wasn’t added until the 1950’s. Of course her Evangelical demographic won’t actually know this so it probably won’t matter to them, but it really is the icing on her crap cake.

A big thanks to “Sarah Barracuda” for single-handedly shredding John McCain’s chance at the White House.

You know, I’m almost convinced she is a mole for the Obama team. I wouldn’t be surprised to see her walk out on stage in the middle of a Presidential Debate, hit McCain over the head with a steel chair, and rip off her shirt revealing an Obama ‘08 t-shirt underneath. I can totally see Will.i.am’s “Yes We Can” playing over the loudspeakers, while the WWE’s Jim Ross cries out, “Dear God! That’s…that’s Barack Obama’s music!” as Sarah Palin and Barack Obama join hands in the middle of the stage and raise them overhead in victory.

On the other hand, I may have just had too much to drink on Labor Day. I guess what I am saying is that at this point, when it comes to Sarah Palin, nothing would surprise me. And if you are selecting someone who will be a heartbeat away from being President, that’s the last thing you want.