Continued in “Comments”

We hate the blog Owl Tattoos.

1. WE HATE the frivolity of the internet. Oh sure, it’s great that nature photographers, nudists, and other societal rejects have an online home, but … c’mon. Before clicking that “Create Blog” button in your Blogger account ask yourself,  “does the world really need a blog about this?”  In the case of the creator of the blog Owl Tattoos, if that question even came up, the answer apparently was “hells yes!”

Of course, we’re cool with tattoos. Tattoos are great. And owls? Well, ok. Owls. Whatever. Tattoos depicting owls? Hey, it’s your skin.

A blog about owl tattoos? Hmph. See the name of this blog.

Look! A tattoo of an owl!

Look! A tattoo of an owl!

Look! A tattoo of an owl!

Look! A tattoo of an owl!

2. WE HATE how when we rapidly scroll through your blog, it’s like catching a psychedelic butcher shop out of the corner of our eye.

Look! A tattoo of an owl!

Look! A tattoo of an owl!

3. WE HATE the fact that owls are the new hot animal. It used to be penguins. We love penguins, but now owls are the new penguins. In line with its mission to make callous movies out of pop culture cliches, we assume Dreamworks is cooking up an animated owl movie featuring the voice talents of people like Tracy Morgan, Elizabeth Banks or Sarah Silverman in lieu of finding real actors.

Look! A tattoo of an owl!

Look! A tattoo of an owl!

4. WE HATE the fact that people want to mythologize the owl. Everything you think you know about owls is wrong. Owls are jerks:

(From the Wikipedia) Much of the owls’ hunting strategy depends on stealth and surprise. Owls have at least two adaptations that aid them in achieving stealth. First, the dull coloration of owls’ feathers can render them almost invisible under certain conditions. Secondly, serrated edges on the leading edge owls’ remiges muffle an owl’s wingbeats, allowing its flight to be practically silent. Some fish-eating owls, for which silence is of no evolutionary advantage, lack this adaptation.

Once prey has been captured, an owl’s sharp beak and powerful talons allow it to kill its prey before swallowing it whole (unless it is too big). Scientists studying the diets of owls are helped by their habit of regurgitating the indigestible parts of their prey (such as bones, scales and fur) in the form of pellets. These “owl pellets” — which are plentiful and easy to interpret — are often sold by companies to schools for dissection by students as a lesson in biology and ecology. ^[3]

Owls are the ninja assassins of the woodlands, not the professors. Keep that in mind, Owl Tattoos. You’re just feeding the Owl Agenda.

Look! A tattoo of an owl!

5. WE HATE photos of tattoos, now, after posting all of these. You know when a tattooed person asks you if you would care to see commands you to see their tattoos? Then they tell you the story of how they got the tattoo? And how much it hurt/didn’t hurt? And they tell you what the chaotic and overdrawn blob of ink on their calf means? And it means nothing to you? And they tell you why they had the tattoo drawn on their calf? And they tell the hilarious story of how they had to get the name of their ex covered up? And you start to lose interest right around the time they tell the story about how they got the one on their shoulder? Well, you’re trying to get laid by that person, so it’s ok. Without that at stake, random photos of fresh (and probably sore) owl tattoos just make up one more blog to hate. *sigh*

I’ve been on a bit of a documentary kick lately. I’ve already talked about I.O.U.S.A. and I just finished Maxed Out, which takes on personal debt and the credit card companies as opposed to the national debt. Just like I.O.U.S.A. it serves as a wake-up call for financial responsibility. I first had this wake-up call after attending a Dave Ramsey, Financial Peace class about a year ago and I can’t stress enough how important is for the individual to maintain financial responsibility. Debt is crushing people out there so I suggest you take control before it comes down on you. One probem I had with Maxed Out is that they never told the consumer to take control of their finances. All the film did was points it’s finger at the big, bad credit card companies and debt collectors and while I agree that these companies take advantage of consumers, I also believe that these consumers have the opportunity to avoid a lot of this if only they would take financial responsibility and control

Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room was another pretty fantastic film. It seems like between this one, I.O.U.S.A. and Maxed Out we cover governmental financial irresponsibility, corporate financial irresponsibility, and personal financial irresponsibility. So that makes for a nice trio. It’s a very interesting film and it leaves you with a pretty good understanding of why that company was destined to fail.

I also just recently saw Harvard Beats Yale 29-29. Certainly an interesting little documentary about an extremely interesting football game. It’s wild how many people are mentioned as being associated with the team, who went on to become quite famous. People like George W. Bush, Al Gore, Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones, and Garry Trudeau. I also was very impressed to learn about Brian Dowling. Dowling was the inspiration for B.D. in Trudeau’s Doonesbury comic and up to the point of that tie, there had not been a game in which Dowling had started and finished and been on the losing team since the 7th grade. That is just amazing. I do not know how he fared collegiately from a W-L standpoint after the Harvard game, but that’s a remarkable feat. He didn’t fare too well in the NFL though.

I also just watched Super High Me, which chronicles comedian Doug Benson’s “investigation” into the affects of marijuana on the human body and mind. Inspired by Morgan Spurlock’s Super Size Me, Benson takes it on himself to not smoke marijuana for 30 days while undergoing a litany of tests. Then he follows that up with 30 days where he smokes so much that he’s high during pretty much every waking hour. I think he could have done more in the way of medical testing. I exaggerated when I used the term “litany”. There is also a point where the DEA is raiding and shutting down medicinal marijuana dispensaries and I believe he should have done more to show the legality of those actions. Yes, the filmmaker did point out it was legal with a quick message on the screen, but no one ever dared argue with the protesters who were acting so offended or even ask those tough questions to play devil’s advocate and inspire the protesters to choose their words wisely. At one point you hear a protester yell (Or maybe this is a combination of two quotes) “The DEA isn’t doing their job! Their job is to stay out of California!” …uhhh, how remarkably stupid is that? That is the DEA’s job? Well why isn’t someone paying me? I’ve stayed out of California my whole life. In this film we also see Sarah Silverman, Patton Oswalt (of Big Fan fame), Dave Navarro, and the apparent Prince of Pot, Marc Emery. (Who knew?)

So do I feel more educated? Well, I dunno. I certainly prefer the classroom. Not in the sense that it’s more enjoyable, or easier to have a conversation about. But in the sense that if you take a class on a topic you should leave it with a pretty solid foundation of knowledge. These films are great for digging that hole for you to pour that foundation, but they are not a foundation. For one they are almost always biased. Maybe the bias is subtle (I.O.U.S.A.) or maybe the bias is obvious (Super High Me). Either way it exists. Yes, I’m sure it exists in the classroom also, but in the class room you spend much more time on the topics, also you are usually sent out to write things like research papers, which encourage you to do your own fact finding. This leads to a more rounded informational intake. Which in itself is probably the main reason the class room is a better way to learn. The breadth of information is much wider. That can’t even be denied so I’m not gonna to even explain myself.

I have another batch of documentaries lined up to watch so maybe in a couple weeks I’ll be doing this again. I don’t see why not. I would suggest all of these if you have plenty of time. It just turns out that the way I ordered them in this blog is probably the same order I’d suggest watching them.

Stand up is the least respected of all the performing arts. As if being a stand-up comic weren’t hard enough; the years of being judged by every person who owns a liquor license and a microphone, driving six hours to a non-existent gig, begging moronic agents and managers who are looking for a “new, original and exciting” talent, to come out to see your show only to be asked why you aren’t more “Seinfeld-ish.” On top of that it takes years to develop an act and find your voice on stage. There are child actors, child musicians, tiny dancers and even I would guess a few very young working writers but no child comics. Why? Because stand-up comedy is the only experientially based art form. Kids can tell “jokes” but they can’t do stand-up. Stand-up comedy, really good stand-up comedy has evolved from joke telling into a personal narrative dialogue with the audience.

Still, every now and then some elitist hack with a degree from the right college and the proper connections gets a job at a failing weekly magazine and decides to take a shot at you and your profession, feeling they are qualified to judge this art form because they know how to laugh and talk. This is rarely if ever done with other art forms. Seriously folks, when is the last time you saw an article about actors who can’t act, dancers who can’t dance, painters who can’t paint or pointless “performance artists.” Yet, about every six months some “critic” declares a number of famous comics “not funny.”   

Ms. Sarah Ball of the soon defunct Newsweek is the latest to declare some great comics “not funny.” In her article, which I found on Newsweek.com she lists 12 acts and gives snarky put downs of their talents. I found it interesting that Ms. Ball’s list is mostly west coast, politically conservative/moderate comics. Apparently if you are from New York and ultra liberal Ms. Ball finds you hilarious!

Topping her list is every elitist favorite comedy punching bag Larry the Cable Guy. Larry’s sin seems to be his is a little too lowbrow for Ms. Ball whom I am sure worships at the altar of urinator Larry David, and  christophobe Sarah Silverman. There are a couple of folks working at the top of the intellectual chart. When talking about Dane Cook (I admit, not my favorite) she heaps praise on Louis C.K. (a guy I happen to also enjoy) who also tends towards the scatological for his humor.

Here is another thing that annoys me worst than Barney Frank, several times Ms. Ball demeans comics for being less than original and yet in her writing she uses a number of “stock” lines, clichés and banal comments. She also works for a magazine which recently selected a cover picture of Sarah Palin that was borrowed from a shoot for another magazine and used without contextual reference.

Ms. Ball also apparently hasn’t seen some of the comics she lists in some time. For Emo Phillips she uses an outdated photo, (again Newsweek using a photo out of context!) and critiques the vocal and delivery style he was using in the 90’s. Artists grow and change Ms. Ball; you might want to catch Bob Goldthwaite sometime this century too!  Her total critique of Jeff Dunham is that he is a ventriloquist, a comedy form she declared “went out of vogue in the Eisenhower era.” So did unbiased journalism and accurate reporting, Ms. Ball, but I’ll save that for another blog. Ventriloquism is experiencing a great revival outside elitist circles with Ronn Lucas and Terry Fator being two of the top draws in Las Vegas. While Jay Johnson, Jeff Dunham and Dan Horn wow audiences across the country. It might do Ms. Ball good to get out of Manhattan once in awhile and see what us rubes are doing out here in Flyoverland.

There are a lot of comics who I don’t find funny but I realize that my taste in comedy is skewered by my values, faith, politics and a number of other factors. I would never declare Bill Maher “not funny.” Thought I find his drug addled ramblings repulsive at times I realize that a number of equally intelligent folks find him hysterical. I might say I find his humor “baffling” or call him an “alleged” comedian but to declare him “not funny” isn’t fair to Bill or his fans.

People like different things, that’s why they put numbers on horses at the track. I would expect an open and fair minded progressive person like Ms. Ball to be a little more…what’s that word? Tolerant!

This weekend the popular kids show Yo Gabba Gabba opened up their new on-stage show with some serious star power. Celebrity parents came out in full force to see “There’s A Party In My City” live this weekend in Los Angeles.

Christina Aguilera partied with her son Max on day one along with Jason Bateman, Dennis Quaid, Marissa Jaret Winokur, Sarah Silverman and Busy Philipps.

Snoop Dogg not only brought his kiddies, but performed on stage during day two, where Travis Barker and Taylor Hanson enjoyed the show with their families. Other celebrities in attendance were Monet Mazur, Biz Markie, Jon Heder Amber Valletta and actress Poppy Montgomery.

If you missed the show in LA, there are still a bunch of shows left!

The 3 shows in NYC next weekend are sold out, but the 2 cities below still have tickets.

• Dallas, TX @ Dr. Pepper Arena Saturday, Nov. 28, 2009 11AM, 3PM
• Chicago, IL @ Rosemont Theatre Saturday, December 5, 2009 11AM, 3PM

I have a huge crush on Sarah Silverman.

But of course, nothing beats a cute Urdu-speaking nerd with big teeth and green eyes

Watch Dawn French exploring the relationship between Beauty and Comedy

Recebi um comentário que achei hilário,e seguindo seu conselho, estou saindo um pouco do mundo das lamúrias.

Vejam este hilário video onde Sarah Silverman confessa ao namorado Jimmy Kimmel que está…bem, vejam o video.

Vi no You Tube – Paul1410

E não acabou, também no Paul1410, a resposta do namorado Jimmy, que não deixou por menos.
Celebridades que participaram da brincadeira:
BRAD PITT – HARRISON FORD – JOAN JETT – ROBIN WILLIAMS – DON CHEADLE – MEAT LOAF – PETE WENTZ – DOMINIC MONAGHAN -MACY GRAY – PERRY FARRELL – LANCE BASS – HUEY LEWIS – JOSH GROBAN – CHRISTOPHER MINTZ-PLASSE – JOEL MADDEN – BENJI MADDEN – DICKY BARRETT – REBECCA ROMIJN – CHRISTINA APPLEGATE – CAMERON DIAZ

The following are scans from the Über-Zionist Maurice Samuel’s 1924 book, You Gentiles, in which he is in agreement with Adolf Hitler’s view, expressed in Mein Kampf, that The Jew is the eternal enemy of humanity. However, strangely, Mr Samuel disagreed with Herr Hitler regarding the Jewish Money Power. But he agreed that The Jew is (by His Divine Nature, according to Samuel, the Talmud and the Zohar) compelled to destroy everything non-Jewish

Since Herr Hitler wrote his work between November 1923 and December 1924, it seems unlikely that he could have been influenced by his Zionist gleichdenker, unless perhaps Samuel visited the Der Klenier Gefreiter in his Landsburg rest home, but no doubt young Hitler was greatly inspired by similar declarations of eternal war from the Jews he met in Vienna and so on.

Samuel later co-wrote the autobiography of Chaim Weizman, President of the World Zionist Organization, and first President of the Jewish State.

Another classic quote from this Zionist intellectual:

There came together into this small place [the artists’ colony at Taos, New Mexico], representatives of the African Negro, the American and Chinese Mongol, the Semite and the Aryan … free intermarriage had set in … Why does this picture, part actual, part fanciful, fill me with a strange loathing, suggest the obscene, the obscurely beastly? … Why then does that village which my fancy conjures up call to mind a heap of reptiles breeding uglily in a bucket?

[Maurice Samuel, I, the Jew, 1927, pp.244-6.]

I pledge allegiance… to the band… of Mr. Schneebly… and will not fight him… for creative control… and will defer to him on all issues related to the musical direction of the band.

– Dewey Finn

To purge myself of the horror movie binge that I’ve been in for the past week, I wanted to watch a comedy. The School of Rock was a movie that I intended to see; because the positive buzz, it received a couple of years ago. It’s a breath of fresh rockin’ air.

Jack Black delivers a solid comedic performance as Dewey Finn, a slacker rock guitarist that is crashing on his friend’s, Ned Schneebly (Mike White) couch. Ned’s frigid girlfriend, Patty (Sarah Silverman) wants to kick him out unless he gets a job to pay the rent.

His band, No Vacancy decides to let him go, because of his showboating, the twenty-minute solos and him stage diving to no one. Desperate to find work, he wants to sell one of his Gibson guitars. Fate comes in when Dewey answers a call that was meant for Ned for a substitute teacher job from the principal of Horace Green Prep, Rosalie Mullins (Joan Cusack).

Dewey pretends to be Ned to get a job. When he goes into the classroom, he is hung over from the night before and he doesn’t want to teach the kids anything. Dewey learns that every Tuesday, the kids have music class. He likes what he hears, but he doesn’t like their stuffy type of music. He wants to teach the kids the fundamentals of rock.

Now that he is band-less, he shapes the kids to be his band so he could make it for Battle of the Bands in three weeks. It’s a secret project.

I am not a rock listener, per se, but I love watching people dealing with rock. It’s weird. I thought that the kids were very good. Jack Black was playing Jack Black, but turned up to eleven. I loved that he was Mr. Chips for the 2000s.

Judgment: A kick ass movie that makes you want to rock.

Rating: ****

Much of LA becomes consumed with the buying and selling of features this week as 8000 gather at the American Film Market which kicks off W 11/4 and runs through W 11/11 concurrently with AFI Fest. Ground zero is the Loews Santa Monica Beach Hotel where 400 distributors are getting ready to rumble.  As the distributors are there to sell, the first half of AFM belongs mostly to the buyers.  You need a full market badge ($895) for access to the upper floors during this time, but its free to linger to the lobby and lounge by the pool putting together target lists which many do in prep for half badge face time ($345) starting Su 11/8.  Day badges $275.  To see the market in action check out these videos from Film Specific’s Stacey Parks, UpsideDownTV’s Johnny Neurotic and Variety’s Michael Jones.

Here is the list of IFTA members where you can dig deep for contact information, slate and budgets. You can also pick up free in the Loews lobby the AFM directory in the bumper copies of Variety, The Hollywood Reporter, Screen International and The Business of Film.

On the Variety & THR list of AFM targets are Akin Gump ($600mm for 60 films), Endgame (3-5@$10-40mm), Exclusive Media ($100mm for 2-3 films), Incentive Filmed Entertainment ($100mm for 10@$15mm each), Liddell (3-4 films@$5-20mm each), Magnet Media (Jeanette Buerling & Magie Monteith), Natural Selection ($100mm for 20 films@ $5mm+ each), Overnight Prods (3@$10-40mm), Sheppard Mullin ($65mm), Social Capital (2-3@$2-20mm each), Stroock Stroock ($5-100mm), Tic Tock (2-3 films@$10mm each), WestEnd Films (Maya Amsellem & Eve Schoukroun), Winchester Capital (3-4 films@$10-40mm each), plus those in bold above.

Some are speaking at the AFM seminars:

F 11/6 9-12:30
AFM Finance Conference
with Media Rights Capital, Hyde Park Entertainment, NatGeo..
Fairmont Miramar, 101 Wilshire
2008 Videos

F 11/6 4-5:30
FILMART/HK Co-Production Partners
with Screen International, Distribution Workshop, Imagi Studios
Le Merigot, 1740 Ocean
2008 Videos

Sa 11/7 9-12:30
Pitch Me!
Producers for Bee Season, Capote, Nurse Betty
Fairmont Miramar, 101 Wilshire

Sa 11/7 9:15-5:30
Distribution U
9:15 Breakfast/Introductions
10:15 Fans, Friends, Followers – Scott Kirsner
11:15, Break
11:30, New World of Distribution I – Peter Broderick
12:30, Lunch with Adam Chapnick, Distribber.com, Thomas Mai, Festival Darlings, Jon Reiss, Thinking Outside of the Box (Office), Adrian Belic, Beyond the Call, Genghis Blues, Justine Jacob, Ready Set Bag
2, New World of Distribution II – Peter Broderick
3, Case Studies/Anvil!, Good Dick
4, Booksigning/Thinking Outside the Box (Office)
4:15-5:30, Pitch Workshop
USC, Davidson Conference Center, 3415 South Figueroa

Sa 11/7 2-5:30
Produce and Sell Your Film with Dov S-S Simens
Topics include: Theatrical Deal Memo Points, 7 Major Revenue Sources, Profit Participation Scenarios, Cable/TV/DVD Licenses, Publicity & Festivals, On-Demand vs PPV, Global Revenues, Foreign Sales, Private Placements, Investor Offerings, Gross vs Net, Split Rights & 50-50 Deals, Production-Distribution Agreements, plus Producer’s Workbook/Directory
Fairmont Miramar, 101 Wilshire

Su 11/8 11-12:30
Changing Indie Distribution Strategies
Ted Mundorff, Landmark Theatres, Jon Reiss, Think Outside the Box (Office)…
Le Merigot, 1740 Ocean

Su 11/8 2-3:30
DIY Distribution Playbook
with Adam Chapnick, Distribber.com, Matt Tyrnauer, Valentino, Sacha Gervasi, Anvil!, Scott Hamilton Kennedy, The Garden, Lisa Smithline, Trouble The Waters
Le Merigot, 1740 Ocean
2008 Videos

Su 11/8 4-5:30
SAG/A Filmmaker’s Resource
Le Merigot, 1740 Ocean

M 11/9 11-12:30pm
WGA/Writing for the Genre World
Mick Garris, Larry Cohen, Juliet Snowden, Stiles White, Stephen Susco
Le Merigot, 1740 Ocean

M 11/9 2-3:30
DGA/Online Piracy
Brad Beutlich, DtecNet, Darcy Antonellis, Warner, Jonathan Dayton, Little Miss Sunshine, Andrew Horton, Mark Monitor, Alann McNeil, Deluxe’s Web Watch
Le Merigot, 1740 Ocean

M 11/9 4-5:30
PGA/Package and Finance Indies Oversees
Aurora Productions, Akin Gump, Endgame Entertainment, The Film Department, Paradigm
Le Merigot, 1740 Ocean

Tu 11/10 11-12:30
Indie Marketing with Ondi Timoner, We Live In Public…
Le Merigot, 1740 Ocean

Tu 11/10 2-3:30
WIF/New Hollywood Movie Studio & Social Networking
Le Merigot, 1740 Ocean

Tu 11/10 4-5:30
ASC/Film or Digital
Le Merigot, 1740 Ocean

Sa 11/7 – Tu 11/10 9:30-5
Favorite Film Pitch
Le Merigot, 1740 Ocean

For newbies, there are AFM first-timers guides on working the market at:
IFTA , FilmSpecific, and IndieGoGo.

As for AFM Hotels, many were booked by 10/2 but feel free to try:
- Georgian, 1415 Ocean 90401 ($242-384) 310-395-9945
- Ocean View Hotel, 1447 Ocean 90401 ($224-272) 310-458-4888
- Hotel California, 1670 Ocean 90401 ($260,299+) 310-393-2363
- Hotel Shangrila, 1301 Ocean 90401 ($319-489) 310-394-2791
- Le Merigot Marriott, 1740 Ocean 90401 ($365+) 310-395-9700
- Viceroy, 1819 Ocean 90401 ($348+) 310-260-7500
- Fairmont Miramar, 101 Wilshire 90401 ($324+) 310-576-7777
- Hotel Casa del Mar, 1910 Ocean 90405 ($459+) 310-581-5533
- Sheraton Delfina, 530 Pico 90405 ($267-320) 310-399-9344
- Doubletree, 1707 4th 90401 ($270-$282) 310-395-3332
- Holiday Inn, 120 Colorado 90401 ($248-258) 310-451-0676
- Hotel Carmel, 201 Broadway 90401 ($175-232) 310-451-2469
- Ambrose, 1255 20th Street 90404 ($192-227) 310-315-1555
- Best Western, 1920 Santa Monica Blvd 90404 ($170) 310-829-9100
- Shutters, One Pico 90405 ($575+) 310-458-0030
- Huntley, 1111 Second, 90403 ($350) 310-394-5454
*There is a shuttle for the AFM hotels, parking lots and screenings.

Film Catalogue/445 screenings, 73 premieres including:
- American Sunset (Global Universal) – Corey Haim, Frank Molina
- Blue Seduction (Global Universal Pictures) – Estella Warren*
- Bobby Fischer Live (Amadeus)
- Chloe (StudioCanal, budget $10-25mm) – Julianne Moore
- Dorian Gray (Ealing Studios, budget $10-25mm) – Colin Firth
- From Time to Time (Ealing Studios, budget $5-10m) – Maggie Smith
- Get Low (K5) – Bill Murray
- Glorious 39 (The Works International) – Julie Christie
- Harry Brown (HanWay) – Michael Caine
- Hawaii A Voice For Sovereignty (ITN)
- Junkyard Dog (Epic) – Vivica Fox**
- Kill Speed (Epic) – Nick Carter, Tom Arnold**
- Life During Wartime (Fortissimo) – Ally Sheedy & Paul Reubens
- Love & Other Impossible Pursuits (Essential Ent) – Natalie Portman
- Mama I Want to Sing! (Vision Films) – Ciara & Billy Zane
- Mao’s Last Dancer (Celluloid Dreams) – Kyle MacLachlan, Joan Cheng
- Rounds (Global Universal) – Billy Drago, Mark Attenza
- Saint John of Las Vegas (E1) – Sarah Silverman & Steve Buscemi
- Snowmen (MPower) – Ray Liotta, Christopher Lloyd
- Stay Cool (American Cinema) – Wynona Ryder, Hilary Duff
- The Making of Plus One (New Films) film market wheeling and dealing
- The Meaning of the 21st Century (WWFilmEnt, bud $3-5m) – Michael Douglas
- The Next Three Days (Mandate Intl) – Russell Crowe
*no screening, ** got picked up by Independent Feature Films

And more:
- AFI Fest - free tx to screenings, red carpet events, details here
- IBM/USC Imagine The World in 2050 invite-only event
- TromaDance Film Festival press conference
- 8th Samurai screening at the Consul General of Japan

Events that recap AFM:
- 12/1 Distribution U, San Francisco
- 12/8 DMW/Variety’s Future of Film, Sheraton Delfina

Last Sunday, I had the pleasure of sitting down and watching a new episode of my favorite television show of all time Curb Your Enthusiasm. The episode was about several different things including women who wear shirts showing off a less than flattering midriff, not scooting over to make room for someone at the dining table and of course, Larry’s character having trouble controlling his medication-induced extremely strong stream of urine. Needless to say, three brilliant concepts to pack into one show. At one point, Larry accidentally splashes a picture of Jesus with spray from his strong steam and his midriff-showing secretary and her mother take it to be a miracle as it appears the piss makes Jesus look like he was crying. Hilarious, and a pretty awesome social satire in my humble opinion. Of course, some people didn’t think so.

Bill Donohue, the president of the “Catholic League” (what kind of sport they play I’m not exactly sure) released this statement regarding the episode:

Mention Larry David in a word association game and “Seinfeld” rolls off the lips. That show, which David created, wrote and produced, was brilliant. “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is not. Indeed, last night’s episode demonstrates that David’s best years are behind him. He ought to quit while he’s ahead.

At one point in the show, David goes to the bathroom in a Catholic home and splatters urine on a picture of Jesus; he doesn’t clean it off. Then a Catholic woman goes to the bathroom, sees the picture and concludes that Jesus is crying. She then summons her equally stupid mother and the two of them fall to their knees in prayer. When David and Jerry Seinfeld (playing himself) are asked if they ever experienced a miracle, David answers, “every erection is a miracle.” That’s what passes for creativity these days.

Was Larry David always this crude? Would he think it comedic if someone urinated on a picture of his mother? This might be fun to watch, but since HBO only likes to dump on Catholics (it was just a couple of weeks ago that Sarah Silverman insulted Catholics on “Real Time with Bill Maher”), and David is Jewish, we’ll never know.

Pretty ridiculous, right? I thought so too. Let’s start with the first paragraph of this so called “statement”.

Nice job Bill, you’ve managed to point out that Larry David was a co-creator of Seinfeld, something that everyone and their brother (Jerry Christ in Jesus’ case) knows. Further more, I like how you mentioned that Larry’s days of brilliance are behind him and that he should quit. That’s really Christian of you. Who knew that you could judge people and personally insult their work and it would be perfectly within the bounds of how Jesus said a Christian should live? And, who made you the authority on what is considered good and bad? I personally don’t like Seinfeld and never did, yet I find Curb Your Enthusiasm brilliant and important all the same. The difference being, I don’t pretend to adhere to religious dogma that tells me “Don’t Judge, Lest You Be Judged.” That’s your guy that said that Bill, remember? It’s in that one book, I think. Strike one.

Larry David, Creator and Star of Curb Your Enthusiasm

Cross the desert with 12 men and land right on paragraph two. You take issue with the fact that Larry pisses on a picture of Jesus, but doesn’t clean it off. Would it be better if he had cleaned it off? What difference does him cleaning off the picture make? It’s a picture, it’s not like he’s pissing on Jesus Christ himself. Here’s the funny part, later in the episode Larry accidentally DOES piss on his bare midriffed secretary and you seem to have no problem with that. According to your logic, wouldn’t that be offensive to women? Shouldn’t you take issue with that? Don’t the rights and respect of women matter? I also like how you point out that the CATHOLIC mother and daughter tandem in the episode are “stupid”. That’s really great that you’d call your own folks by such a Christian-appropriate term. The funny thing is, this kind of thing happens all of the time across the country. People see the Virgin Mary in grilled cheese sandwiches, Jesus in pancakes, the baby Jesus on a brick wall, but these people are perfectly logical? Or, are you calling all of the people who follow your sect of Christianity stupid?

Also, I find it really funny that you have a problem with Larry saying “every erection is a miracle”. Perhaps if it weren’t so easy for your lot to get erections from sexually abusing underaged altar boys against their will, I’d be interested in your take on this situation. You are not the judge of humor and you certainly aren’t the judge of who does what with their sexual organs. Strike Two.

And here we are at your swan song, the third and final paragraph. You bring up the fact that Catholics are apparently being targeted by HBO which is just so blatantly untrue it’s laughable. In the case of Curb Your Enthusiasm alone I’ve seen Larry David make fun of Jews, Christians, African Americans, Asians, dentists, doctors, patients, nurses, comedians, parking attendants, lawyers, chefs, holocaust survivors, survivor cast members, lesbians, Ted Danson, old people, child singers, private investigators, adoption, cousins, Richard Lewis, hookers, corpses, dogs, hurricane Katrina survivors, dolls, children, deli’s, HBO, freaks, car salesman and women who wear bras, and that’s probably just one season. Boy, it is time for you guys to grow up and stop making everything about you. It’s vain, and I’m pretty sure Jesus was against that too.

Also, nice job making mention of Sarah Silverman and Larry David, and pointing out that Larry happens to be Jewish (so is Sarah for the record which I’m sure you knew, hence mentioning them together). So, to get this straight it’s not okay for Larry to poke fun at people of the Christian faith, but it’s okay for you to insinuate that Larry can make fun of Catholics (which he never does directly by the way) because he is Jewish? That sounds pretty pretttttty pretttttttttttty anti-Semitic to me, buddy. Strike Three, you’re out.

So, Bill, here we are. You’ve officially shown us in a short three paragraph “statement” about the last episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm that the truest of Christian ideals and values apparently don’t need to be applied to someone in a position of authority in the “Catholic League” like yourself. Why should these humble values of charity, forgiveness and lack of judgment apply to the stupid (your word) followers of your religion but not yourself? Sounds kinda hypoctrical there, Bill.

What Larry David did with Seinfeld and what he is doing with Curb Your Enthusiasm is to point out some of the more ridiculous aspects of our society for the sake of amusing people, making people laugh. Larry David takes what our society has given him and puts something positive back out into the world, in the form of humor. Rather than judge and insult Larry David, why not commend him for encouraging people to not take themselves so seriously and allowing them to laugh at themselves and the world around them? Why not show the world that the Catholics can turn the other cheek and laugh just like every other group (including fat people, bald people, Paul Simon fans, independent clothing store owners, and widows alike) has been able to do? Or, if none of this suits what you want to do, why not change the fucking channel?

I’m not sure Sarah Silverman is a genius, but she is pretty funny. Her lasted adventure involves some serious real state venture with the Vatican and the eradication of world hunger. I’m not sure if Pope Benedict XVI will approve of this, but props to Sarah Silverman for always pushing the enveloped.

Enjoy:

Oh, this campaign might not sell for its political correctness, but it does raise some serious questions and thought provoking ideas. Oh humour– so dark, so cruel, and at times so true.

- Lady of Press

For you comedy fans out there, it looks like tickets are still available to see Sarah Silverman and her crew perform at the 9:30 Club this Sunday.

Silverman’s performance is part of the Bentzen Ball comedy festival hosted by several area clubs this week and weekend.  The ball benefits Walter Reed Memorial Hospital and features nearly 60 comic performances.

Doors open at 7pm and the show begins at 8pm.  Buy your tickets here. Tickets are $30 each.

I know what you’re thinking.

Wait, actually I don’t and actually I don’t care. Cause it’s probably something like “Hey Come on respect the woman” or something like that.

And this is all I have to say : Marge Simpson is in Playboy.

Ok? Get it? Your argument is moot. That means it’s invalid. And Amy Sedaris is fucking hot. Why? Cause she told us she is. That’s right, she didn’t pussy foot around it like these waify little chicks of Hollywood. She just went out an owned it.

Look let’s back track. You’re probably like “Wait, WTF does Marge Simpson appearing in the November issue of Playboy Magazine have to do with anything?!” Well let’s have a look:

Sure that’s great and all if you .. I don’t know, like yellow skin and don’t have access to real porn, or skinamax, or facebook.. or still have a myspace account…

But seriously it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. In fact the truth is, anyone with a curious eye an internet connection has probably stumbled upon Marge and the Other Simpsons doing much, much worse then posing naked. There’s tons upon tons of ‘Fan Friction’ (I’ll call it) penned from horny illustrator wanna be’s with ‘The Yellow Fever’ as it were. So what’s the big deal about Marge being in playboy?

“So in a way, you’d be stroking off to Matt Groening”

Well the truth is, this is Matt Groaning’s Marge – So in a way, you’d be stroking off to Matt Groening. Assuming that’s your interest in that particular magazine and said “article” within.

And Funny women or not, Marge is a culmination of almost entirely male brains. Hollywood, and the Simpsons is no excuse, is a Man’s world (more or less). So come on guys. If you really want to sensationalize a woman for her funny side, for being “real”, hell for being 3 dimensional – Amy Sedaris is the only option. (and yes Sarah Silverman is a damn good second chair.)

And I want you to realize, I’m not a super fan. I’m not going out of my way to listen to NPR just in hopes of hearing the awe inspiring quip’s and chaff’s of this acclaimed funny women.  But if she so happens to settle on in to an episode of Conan, I’ll now I’m in for a good ride. Which in a way, I wish was a favor I could return to the frolicking fairy of foolery.

Point being, as you settle in with your subscription to an 80 year old mans legacy (talking about Hugh Hefner here) and open up to the illustrated pictures of 55 year old man (that one’s Groening) just remember there are real women out there that are not only 3 Dimensional, they’re funny and intelligent.

We hate Michael Ian Black and we hate the post Mad Pimpin.’

1. We hate that you’re a little depressed with your career right now, Michael. Here’s why. We didn’t hate “Stella.” We didn’t hate “Michael and Michael Have Issues.” And, we most certainly didn’t hate the new Klondike Bar commercials. You’re on a good run, probably a better run than Sarah Silverman and, to boot, you’re not forced to watch Jimmy Kimmel every night. You’re on a way better run than David Cross who – let’s be frank, here – outthought his own career. And, you’re doing way, way, way better than Jeff Dunham. He got his own show, sure, but he still has to look himself in the mirror and admit that he stuffs his hand up a puppet’s ass for a laugh.

Does Dane Cook have his own children's book? He could knit a sweater a night with all of the co-ed wool thrown at him after a show, but can he tuck his kids in at night with his own children's book?

2. We hate that you admit that you don’t know what you’re doing:

The other thing is a vague unease with my entire career. I can define the unease like this: ‘I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.’

If you don’t know what you’re doing, then you tacitly admit that VH1 didn’t know what it was doing by having you in all those “I Love the (insert decade here)’s” episodes and, without without this important television, we wouldn’t know what childhood nostalgia to remember. When shopping online for the hippest message tees or watching “Family Guy,” this knowledge is vital.

3. We hated Levar Burton during “LeWar,” but we must admit that we began following both of you at that time. This was during our Twitter honeymoon when we added everyone whose name we recognized. We are now at the seven-year itch stage with Twitter and peruse Twitter divorce lawyers while at work.

Blow away, sir.

4. We hate Hollywood, too. We think Hollywood is responsible for Sarah Palin’s career. We’re not sure how, but it likely involves the Illuminati, orbital mind control lasers and some faceless studio exec with an idea he stole from someone intelligent during the writer’s strike.

Those Philistines didn't deserve a second season, Michael.

5. We hate seeing you like this. And yet, we can’t help but note that we have no such problems with our career and this is probably because we are calm, level-headed goyum, just like that protestant Craig Ferguson. Look how far Christianity got him. Not too shabby!