So, Blogging every day – Turns out it’s fucking hard when you’re  a) not used to it and b) busy as you like. So without further adoo…

26th

A pretty good day. I got up in the morning and followed the morning routine to a T. Had a really good meditation and the fact that I was up early meant that I had spare time to work on the affiliate marketing idea.

I basically costed out the idea and reviewed the planned execution for christmas time. Realised It’s fucking cheap to set up an online business, will only cost about £300 max. Not sure how profitable online affiliate marketing really is, but I believe the best way to find out is to dive in. I’m willing to risk the money for the experience and potential pay off. The gain SEO and website experience will be transferable too – Pickup internship anyone? We’ll see…

The evening was a Trafalgar night Dinner. Was a great laugh. I really love the navy traditions and once it was out-pin, things got pretty fucking wild. Don’t think i’ve ever been more drunk in my life! Bonded with all. Talked with Blondie’s best friends about her and me… she likes me but there is other stuff going on. More and more is reinforcing my idea that she’s a bit wacko…..

27 & 28th

After about 4 hrs sleep, I spent all this day getting ready to go to Navy College. Won’t say too much, save to say it was a killer weekend, and met some good people.

I was NOT feeling it in the bar on the Saturday night, and felt that old awkwardness slightly. I just wanted to get the fuck out of there and go and sleep. Nevertheless I pressed on, getting drunker (Swear the Navy just drinks!) and we went on into town.

Really bonded with the guys from the unit – top banter.

Sarged a 3set in one pub. Was a sick set now I recall it. Got Jim to run interference on the friends whilst I sarged the target. Optimized myself well and had a genuinely interesting conversation. Bounced the girls to another club where I isolated and made out. She was ok, pretty but nothing special. Logistics worked against me, and despite the boys later suggestion that I find an ally, nothing more happened.

Top Navy experience, though they DEFINATELY toned it down for the civvies… was nothing on the PRMC.

29th

Some stuff on the river. Drove back, was good banter and good times.

Talk about setting up new Film business project. Arranged clothes. Pretty tired

Jamokes at a Cubs-Cardinals game during the first season of the new Busch Stadium in St. Louis.

Raaj is in India trying to make it as a freelance international journalist. He is unemployed but has some promising leads.

Check out Raaj’s slideshow.

Overnight I’ve become an incredibly busy man. Great for my future, Horrible for my sleep. Let alone women and sarging. It’s a schedule that shows no clear sign of letting up, t least until the winter. I stare down the long dark tunnel and face my greatest fear:

The return of the dark age.

A tumults time of hopes, dreams and celibacy.

FUCK THAT.

I will NEVER allow myself to return to “the dark side”. If I subtract sex, subtract hooking up at bars subtract “casual” friends, all of that. At the very lowest level one must continue to sarge. I’ve had some successes with day game in the past but always had a limiting belief that it was harder or I was “bothering” somebody. Chump. I know. Which is why I’ve come to begin a month long process of improving my day game. Even if its baby steps. As refered to in happy anniversary pickup

“Day game” is the skill set of meeting a girl on the street, coffee shop, grocery store, class etc. Although its refered to as “day game” I prefer the term “real life game” this is the place where the long lasting personality changes occur. The place where you meet true  quality women. Not saying that you can’t meet a quality chick at a bar or club. But I’m saying your chances are smaller. Night game is great and I love it but I find day game to be the “final frontier” for me. For that very reason it unnerves me.

I’ve decided to create a game for myself. To get me to improve my day game skills while I live my busy life. Since most of my time is spent around people cuties I made a game I call “sarge hard”

Sarge hard is a take on the newbie drill but it allows me to track success and make my goals higher. Rules are as follows. OUTSIDE OF WORK. I must approach a minimum of 3 women. 1 point for opening each single woman. Even I just ask for the time. I have to get in the habit of talking to strangers

I can approach dudes and they count for a half a point.

-A group of 2+ women a half point for every woman more than one.

 
-A mixed set guy/girl 1 point for ever guy in set as long as one girl in set.(the reason for the guys in set being worth more is that I believe approaching a mixed set is harder than a group of just women. And I need to concentrate on my game with mixed sets)

 
-Staying in set for 3 min 1 point. 10 min 2 points.

 
-Bouncing her to separate location for instant date 5 points.

-Getting a number 2 points 1 point of she pickups up or calls back.

-5 points for the kiss close

-20 points for the f close (not a goal)

There are two catches. For the purpose of concentrating on day game, none of these can occur at a bar/club/lounge. Doesn’t include resturaunts. And the key rule

If the minimum 3 approaches of WOMEN never take place no points are added. This to keep me from just trying ro rack up half points from random dudes.

To give an example. Say I approach 2 dudes that is 1 point BUT if until I approach 3 women I can’t add those point to my score.

It is my goal to play this game for 4 weeks. Every week out doing my score from the previous week.

The sunday of every week, in addition to whatever I post I will have an itemized list of points for that week.

as a special treat to you tweetaholics and treat friendly users you can follow my progress in more detail in real time.

Follow me: @DalaiCliquePUA

I will be tweeting immediately after each approach and what I did wrong and right.

What I need is accountability.

Can You help me on my journey?

Wishbone and I recently completed our move to Sunny, Sexy, SoCal and it made me realize that it had been a year since my nose dive into pick up and my legendary journey began. I thought I’d take this moment to explain some positives, negatives and lessons learned from pickup, directed at a waning rAFC (recovering average frustrated chump)

First thing is first, young PUA. There are hundreds and hundreds of “gurus”, instructors, systems, methods, plans, and process designed to teach you attraction and/or how to instantly start getting and attracting women RIGHT NOW. I’m here to tell you that in a world of crash dieting, weight-loss pills, and liposuction, YOU WILL NOT GET ALL THE WOMEN YOU WANT OVERNIGHT.

Period.

Just like the only way to lose weight and keep it off is through working out and eating right.  The same applies for picking up quality women, creating a new you and social circle.  You must be willing to experiment with what works best for you. In truth, what most gurus won’t tell you is that rejection is a fundamental part of pickup. In the last year I can unequivocally that I have been rejected more than I have been in my entire life, I’ve also met attracted and..so forth with more women than I have ever in my entire life. To many it sounds mind blowing but its the truth.

The essence of pick-up is not about the girl. It’s about you becoming the best you in all things. Learning to deal with rejection is probably the most important lesson in this craft. Most of us (as in normal americans) spend countless hours, days, and nights wasting away selling themselves short either aiming for goals or partners they regard as attainable, more commonly refered to as “in their league”. All of us have heard this countless times in different ways:

“No pain, No gain”
“Who Dares, wins”
“No guts, no glory”
My personal favorite:
“Cowards die a thousand times before their death, the valiant taste of death but once” – “Julius Caesar” – Shakespeare

You get the idea. This translates to everything worth while in life.

Are you a 9/10 guy dating 6/10 girls your whole life? Chances are you’re settling because of your fear of rejection. You will never be completely at peace with it, naturally. But the key is to be at peace with it as a natural part of reaching for your dreams or at least. Think of this with me. You have to get to work in the morning, you have a great job that you love. Naturally, you have to drive to work in the morning. There is a risk (especially on the 101 in LA) of getting in a collision, a collision of any magnitude ranging from a fenderbender to a metal twisting catastrophic fatal multiple car pileup. You take that risk everyday as opposed to working at the McDonald’s across the street because the risk is worth the reward. It’s the same for life changes especially involving women.

Accept your fear, acknowledge it and drive on.
As in one of my favorite films, “London” (2006)
“Personally, I’d rather regret something I’d done than something I was too afraid to do”.

Next, not as equally important but will streamline your journey to make you get to the style of game that best suits you to get you meeting quality women of your choice and letting  the unbelievably true stories begin.

There is no one style or method of pickup or attracting women that works. That is why there are so many. It’s not an exact science. What you must do is start looking to the instructor and see if you see any of yourself or the person you want to be in them. Also, take a hard look at the women they attract and ask yourself what kind of women you want to attract. Don’t get too attached to a particular style of pickup because on some level they all work its important to take out the points of each that best suit you and make a congruent confident you. For instance mystery method is aimed at party chicks. Juggler method, more the book store cutie. “All deadly”

Your journey will not be perfect overnight, you will get worse before you get better. Understand it’s about the small victories. Always be making baby steps forward. Be fluid in trying out new stuff.

And most importantly,

HAVE FUN

Not to date myself here, but the recently I’ve been feeling like I’ve been approaching that age where people I know are starting to get married. That is until yesterday when I realized I’ve been feeling that same feeling for the last 2 years. I can make it official that I am DEEP into that age. That combined with the fact that 3 more people I know are taking the engagement leap.

Being young and walking the figurative “plank” myself. It leaves me wondering why? Why does everyone feel that regardless of the person they’re with why is the only logical next step after college, marriage? In a few words I would say that it comes down to societal social programming. Lest we not forget that I’m a product of the Midwest. Where being in your mid-twenties with no marriage prospects resonates to many as a clock ticking toward failure.

That’s not what this post is about.

To those that really know me know that deep under the wit and… absolute boyish charm, I am in fact a hopeless romantic combine that with being from the deep Midwest, it came as a shock to me that I don’t know if I ever want to get married.

I came to this revelation lately. I guess as a further evolution in my emotional/pickup journey. It started as a continuation of the idea behind my recent singularity. The first and most shallow reason is that according to United Nations Division of Statistics in this country alone there are 103 women to every 100 men. My point being there is more than enough to go around. With so much variety, so many potential great stories and misadventures you could find yourself in, it  makes it hard to choose just one. But the real reason is my relationship formula which, is incredibly rigorous but ultimately good in choosing a quality woman to invest my feelings and emotions into.

The formula at it’s most basic level: I must want to sit and hang out with her more than all of the potential women I could meet at that time.

Hard to live up to, I know. To break it down though there are a series of categories that must be met and passed with flying colors in order for me to even consider her are a committed partner.

First, (and let’s be honest) SEX: If I commit to someone I MUST feel like I’m not missing out on the good sex I could be having. (note to potential girlfriend candidates reading this: concentrate on your oral sex, talking dirty, getting loud in the bedroom, expanding your sexual limits, and your costumes).

Second: KISSING: Some of you might consider kissing a part of sex. But to you I say “nay”. Kissing to me, especially if its someone I am emotionally attached to, is an emotional investment and I need to to feel we are on the same page. Kissing, for a hopeless romantic is like fuel for the relationship. I can’t be worried about running out of gas before the journey even begins.

Third, SELF-WORTH: This includes sub categories.

• Self Confidence: the knowledge that you contribute something positive to others around you.
• Knowledge of your best weapons: with trying to break this down to the subatomic level its knowing what sets you apart from others I.e. Social, creative another part of that is your best weapon in our interactions whether it be a killer rear end, your eyes etc.
• Ambition: dreaming big for yourself and the motivation to get there. If you want to be a stay at home mom that’s cool but you prob won’t find yourself on my arm.

Fourth. Style: originally I was going to say fashion but it doesn’t necessarily have to be fashion . (although I do gravitate toward the fashionistas). I am in the 1% of guys  that know what they’re doing when it comes to color, style and fashion and I expect my special lady to know more, if not just as much as me.   Personal style is fine you just need to know what fits your personality and be able to match colors without looking like your in the waiting line for Ronald  McDonald tryouts.

Fifth. Chemistry: Now ,this one is hard to describe. I use a couple of logical checkpoints to help me determine whether there’s chemistry or not. The first ,and probably most important, is what she’s into I.E. fashion or film something I enjoy hearing her talk about and discussing myself? And vice versa for what I’m into? Do we have a banter?  like can “I crack a joke on her and she take it as a joke?” Can she dish IT out? I hate talking on the phone, do I enjoy talking on the phone to her? Do I enjoy cooking for her?

Sixth and probably most important is CRAZINESS: Better known as maintenance level (craziness sounded more fun). This is complex with a few sub categories.

• Is she one of those girls that will call you 15 times while you are hanging with your boys to figure out whether you’re cheating on her ot still love her.
• Maintenance level: does she need all of your attention all of the time to feel like things are aright? No-go.
• Chill factor: does she let things progress naturally? Or does she rely on an age old set of rules established before the sexual revolution but clung onto by much of society as a shield. Used by some controlling women as a logical legal document for them to assert their power over the modern chump.
• Does she always need to steer the interaction somewhere or does she enjoy the moment?

Some of you may be asking, “With standards like that how will you ever find a girlfriend? Let alone wife” I say to them. If you didn’t have standards like this, or even more so, how are your relationships turning out? Are you happy in them? If you can have these things before you commit to a person you’re doomed before you even begin. The key to a successful relationship is being alright and a complete person while you are alone. Two complete and whole people together are an unstoppable couple.

We must discuss the institution of marriage itself. You are saying to yourself and to the world “I am happy with only being with this person the rest of my life, I can’t scratch off the playboy model I always wanted, the girl next door I always wanted. I will never need or wanted anyone else….until the day I die.” that is a big commitment.

On a side note: I find it funny. These people that say “a tattoo? You know you’ll have that till you die? ” But they don’t think of marriage the same.

So many people get this idea in their head that marriage is the next “logical step” marriage shouldn’t be a logical step. Far from it, marriage should be that bolt of lightning. That one person meant for you in your entire life. That is IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO FIND THAT PERSON. Not :we’ve been together for x years its time to get married.”

In truth, marriage can be a beautiful thing. You are intimately and intricately intertwined with your partner. You share your life and experiences with them “the two of you against the world”. Awesome. But the next question: Can’t you have all of that without a title and large ceremony?

The downsides of marriage: LESS SEX (a divorcable offense in my book. Breach of contract if you will). Most marriages in this country end in divorce. All of us have heard the horror stories. One of the more recent ones I’ve heard is the story of a couple that had been together 5 years, living together 3 years. They get married and 3 months later they were divorced. What in marriage does this to couples? Is it the idea of what married couples are “supposed” to do and not do? I fear the trapped feeling. I sometimes wonder if I have it in me to turn off my wondering eye. Especially now that I have the knowledge and skills to capitalize.

Although I was way too young and inexperienced in life to get married when I was younger, I will never regret being engaged. It showed me how fast life is and how quickly you can be staring down the barrel of a lifelong commitment.

I’m not sure how I feel about getting married. I don’t know that if I found the right girl or situation if I would want to make the leap of faith or whether I’m jaded about the whole thing.

With all of these doubts some might argue that these are enough to say that I am too jaded.

I don’t need to find the answers right now,

I am happy being single, living with variety and the looming possibility of a fantastic misadventure just over the horizon. I wouldn’t consider it a wasted life if I was on my death bed with no companion, as long as I live it to the fullest.

I have my great family, amazing friends and until the day I stare down the barrel of a loaded gun I will consider myself.

Bachelorius Perpetuus

Unstoppable. We return to “the garden” at this point I worked a job that had me off on Fridays so we hit up the one place we knew would be target rich. Trying out new styles. I opt for the business casual look. Not my usual style but a step in the right direction. Wishbone is in his PUA gear. The kinda gear the would be a billboard to anybody with a bit of knowledge of “the scene” but to most he’s just a man with some serious style.

The stage is set. We roll up to the garden all smiles. We know the absolute potential of this place and we prepare to capitalize.

This week on style’s model was demonstrate higher value (showing your different than other guys) this can be done any number of ways but for a guy on routine mode it means cheesy story, little funny test, or joke. My weapon of choice, “The Best Friends Test”.

The garden is sparse. On the left side one of the booths is empty followed by a booth with a cherishing guy/girl set. Next to them is a rowdy 2 guy 2 girl mixed set. Not being comfortable with mixed sets I quickly disqualified them from my list of potential targets. To the right is a 2 set a (7) asian with huge fake breasts and a (5) punk chick with blue eyes and tattoo sleeves on her arm.

Tending bar was a tall blonde guy with a goatee.a funny guy but with a slight whiff of douchebag about him. In the trenches with him, was Ruby looking as cute as ever in a tight black cutoff and pants.

Just as we settle into our seats a gorgeous (9) Brunette with green eyes, a tight black vest cutting off slightly below her belly button, but above her cut muscular midriff. A black belt latching onto denim jeans tirelessly holding on for dear life against her, incredibly tight, incredibly robust gluteus maximus. (Ms. Cocktail)

After wiping the drool from my chin and readjusting my pants, I look to wishbone. An expression is seared onto his face which left me wondering whether I should give him a high five or start rifling for his health insurance card. Finally though, he is able to mutter two words:

“The Wife”

Just then ruby floats over to us. I am nervous but excited. I know this is my chance to go where no man, or at least Dalai Clique, has gone.

“How are your White Russians?” I ask.

with a coy smile she responds “The best ever”.

“As long as you don’t make them with Bailey’s like the last time we were here” The hoop.

“Oh no, I make ‘em the right way” She floats away to make them.

Just then I enter ” The Zone”

Digress with me. ” The Zone” has come to mean many things, being drunk, writing up a storm, spacing out, being incredibly high…. don’t get too excited, they’re not all my personal examples..and you couldn’t prove it in court. But in relation to pickup, with me and my wing at least. It means that moment where all is fine and dandy, you are talking to your wing, scanning the room or even chumping around and then suddenly you enter that zone where you rise up. As if you are inhabited by the holy ghost, of Pickup you float over to a target set.

For the sake of organization I’ll refer to it as “The Approach Zone”.

In mid conversation with wishbone, like Moses from the chains of bondage, I rise from my seat and dart to the fake breasted two set at the  end of the bar.

Come at them at an angle. “Hey Guys, I gotta get back to my friend in a sec but Lemme get your opinion on something… If you were Brad Pitt, who would you rather date? Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Anniston?” The Opener.

Instantly the Fake Breasted Asian (ms. Asia) hogs the attention. “Angelina Jolie! because she’s so hot and sexy and I wanna make love to her”

I Think……She’s a stripper.

I then turn to the 5 tattooed chick. ms. Tattoo. She seems shy and nearly submissive to ms. Asia. “I’m not sure actually”

“defiantly Angelina!” Ms. Asia interjects.

DC: “Quiet. The adults are talking”.The Neg.

Ms. Tattoo: “Jennifer Anniston..?”

DC: “Awesome you just made me $5, see bein a Midwestern kid I’d say Jennifer anniston but most people in California seem to pick Angelina….anyways, I gotta get back it was nice to meet you.

I rock out.

Then turn back.

DC: “By the way how long have you known each other?”

Girls smile, “Since forever!”

DC: “That’s Why I asked, you look like best friends…you know what I’ll give you the best friends test.”

They’re eyes grow the size of full moons. Style describes in his seminar how much women, especially California women, love tests. He attributes it to the fact that everyone’s favorite subject is themselves.

DC: “how long have you actually known each other?”

Girls: “two years”

DC: hmm interesting…. Do you use the same shampoo?

The girls hesitate a minute and look at  each other.

DC: You passed!

They’re stunned.

DC: The test wasn’t your answers it was whether you looked at each other before you answered!

they both giggle uncontrollably. Suddenly I find myself nervous and out of material.

DC: Anyways I gotta get back, pleasure meeting you.

I eject. Feeling good, I plop back into my seat with white Russians waiting.

Ruby returns: “what do you think?”

DC: “Not bad, You can be my new White Russian maker”

she laughs and tends the other customers.

Again Ms. Cocktail brushes past us. The way wishbone was gazing at her one would think she was floating on a cloud playing a harp.

Wishbone: Dude, I’m gonna get that chick.

Loving his enthusiasm but being skeptical I reply, “get it done dude”.

We chat a bit and then finish our white Russians. Ruby is busy and Ms. Cocktail floats by, “Can I get you another White Russian?”

Wishbone: “Are you qualified to make them?”

I cringe.

Ms. Cocktail (with a coy smile): “well..I’m cute!”

Wishbone: “Yaaa, better get ruby”

She flips him a middle finger with a half smile, charges down the bar and grabs the fixin’s for our drink of drinks. Returns and gives them to us. Wishbone give her the one finger “come here” sign, she leans in he extends a hand out her her and rubs the top of he hand. “What do you got going on besides your looks?”

BOOM!

Stunned and desperate to find the answer. I.e. qualify she responds with only “ummmm, I have  lot besides my looks”

She leaves to tend her tables and returns. “What do you think of the White Russians?”

Wishbone: “They’re alright…good thing you’re cute.”

The night begins to wind down in the way of customers, leaving time for Ruby, ms. cocktail, wishbone, and myself to chat and have fun and ,more importantly, build attraction. We play little wordpad games and ruby is having a great time. She begins to qualify with some goofy jokes that aren’t really that funny but It was obvious that she was somewhat nervous.

Right where I want her.

The time had come to end on a high note. we leave the bar chat up the door man a bit, he’s a funny big man with a scruffy beard. (Mr. Bouncer).

All-in-All, no closes but much attraction and where it counts.

When it comes to our Pickup Journey.

We Proceeded On

For you devout readers, this field report is continuing from “the maelstrom” posts before “field fling” this is in effect my journey from last September.

It was on.

“This pickup stuff works” there is no longer any doubt in my mind. I decided to hunker down and methodically improve my game. Aiming for less instant gratification and just working on the skills at hand I take Neil Strauss’ advice and concentrate on a specific stage of attraction a week. This week was the Soul Piercing and by far the scariest part of attraction.

The Approach. (queue the Vincent Price laugh from “Thriller”)

Let me take a minute to explain this to you.  On paper, well on computer screen..or blackberry..or iphone if you have no sense, this may seem simple. “go up and talk to them” you may think “nay” I say to you. All of us have experienced approach anxiety, but most of us never put ourselves in a situation to have to really deal with it. For you fellas it’s that cutie sitting right across from you on the train. Everything about you is into her, you know she’s there for the taking you thinkg of the best thing to strike up a conversation, your mind explodes with a hundred thousand ways she will reject you and you heart jumps just a lil bit quicker.

To be clear, we PUAs differentiate between two diff types of approaches.

First – Cold approach: the approach of a complete stranger with out them showing any previous signs of interest or having an interaction. Considered the most difficult approach.

Second – Warm approach: the approach of a stranger who has shown interest in you. Types of shows of interest include, but are not limited to. Solid eye contact, a flirtatious smile, standing in proximity and continually grazing. Types of warm approaches vary in degrees of difficulty based on the venue and the type of interest shown.

I decide Cold Approach will be the best way for me to learn. The thinking is that, after it everything will be easier

Wishbone informs me of a bar/music venue near SOMA playing electronic music some of his friends are attending. A night for 18+ although this is not usually my thing I decide it would be a good place to practice my opening, assuming that the little tykes would be young and easy.

We roll up to the venue and are nearly heartbroken by the length of the line leaving the door and stretching down the block. Luckily we meet up with wishbones friends. One of them is a tall robust looking guy with long light brown hair and a beard (PUAlonghair). The other a skinny medium height guy with glasses and a babyface (PUAskinny). Along with their girlfriends, who are under 21. They break the news to me That they are fellow puas. Speaking mostly in PUA language, so as not to alert their special ladies.  I inform them that I’m a relatively new PUA and I’m concentrating on my openers tonight. I make a goal of 5 approaches minimum. Again easier said than done.

We finally enter. The bar is smaller than expected I can’t tell if its the size the place or the number of people. It  has hardwood floors and white walls on either side. A few steps in on the right side is a fully stocked bar facing opposite of a staircase on the left leading to the second story view. Further in is a crowded dance floor buzzing with a range of hipster chicks and club chicks. The dance floor walls are covered in maroon drapes with a dance stage on the far side. On the dance floor located next to the bar is the wicked DJ playing beloved house beats. Although a bit too loud for my liking, there were opportunities abound. We troll the bar looking for the best spot to chill. We head up the stairs. There is a funky area with rickshaw seats, couches and a small bar. We all grab a drink and a seat. Restless, I jump up and begin searching for targets. Plenty to be found.
A mixed 5 set with a (8)  blond cutie? No..
A two set of (7) hipster cuties? No…
Maybe a mixed 3 set with a gorgeous brunette? No..

The anxiety consumed me. I would find excuses for all of them.

On a side note: one of the great things ab being amongst PUAs (close ones) is that they understand that you’re on journey of self improvement so you may be open and tell them things you are feeling you usually wouldn’t a new friend. I return to the group and instead of making an “oh its too loud”/ “oh they’re all ugly” excuse, I simply explain my anxiety woes. PUAlonghair gives his GF a kiss and Jumps up.

“Alright we’re gonna get you opening”

We walk over to the balcony where the Blond mixed set is. The Blond is wearing a short grey dress, a bright red tie and arm warmers. There are an assortment of cuties surrounding her, ranging from 6-8 and A slightly douche looking Guy. The blond obviously owns the group. They are standing in a circle seemingly plotting their next move.

“What do you think of the blond?” PUALonghair asks.

DC: “She’s a cutie dude”

PUALonghair: “Use the ketchup/mustard opener”

DC: “I don’t really think-”  He walks away from me and, like a bull in Spain, runs into the group.

“Cheers, Cheers!” he bumps every one’s glasses as they look confused.

One thing I have never done and will never do is leave a man in the trenches taking grenades.

I rush over, he is playing a drunken angle.

DC: Sorry for my friend

PUALonghair: Ask them

DC: no no.(I rock out) fuck it, we’re taking a bet, what’s better? ketchup or mustard?

The group moves to include us, we are locked in. I turn to the right and point to each and ask them. Most of them pick ketchup near the end a short brunette picks mustard. It’s time to neg the target.  Cute blond picked ketchup. When the brunette picked mustard I exclaim”Finally someone with some taste!” the group goes “OH no no!” cutie next to me gives me a loving jab. I’m in but gotta take care of the guy and figure out his place. I hit him with a Classic.”Oh dude! where’d you get that shirt?”. Somewhat stunned that I even acknowledge his presence “H&M” he gives nervous laugh. I cross the group and stand next to him between him and the blond “well because I used to have one just like it and it was my favorite shirt…I let a girl wear it one night….and you know how that goes” The group explodes in laughter.The group begins to splinter into side conversations, PUALonghair keeping the set engaged. Blonde cutie elbows me “That was a good question” she has piercing blue eyes.

I Think “No it wasn’t”

DC: I Try. (I turn to the balcony and ask) Do you come here a lot?

Blondie: you could say that. my friend is the DJ

DC: You’ll have to introduce us.

Blondie: maybe

I notice PUALonghair leaving the set, Out of material, I was suddenly flustered.”Good to meet you” I shoot out. Confused she replies. “Uh you too” and I ninja vanish.

Infused nervous energy and joy, I roll back to the group and let them know the score. PUALonghair is shocked that I’ve returned but not surprised. We all head down to the dance floor we all dance there are some cuties giving the look but The inner chump returns and I am afraid to approach. My wings try to push me into sets but stubborn I don’t budge. We all set down at a couch near the doorway. Feeling the chump return I refuse to go back to “The Dark Age”. I hop up and with the focus of a terminator I glide upstairs.

Like a gift from the heavens a dirty blond (8) with green eyes and a hipster style waits. I nervously run jealous girlfriend on her. As she responds a guy comes up and chats her. The bf I’m thinking, I lock out and ask “Oh by the way, how do you know each other?” they look at each other “oh we just met”

damn, I think.

I return to home base.

Adjacent to the couch, is a (6) brunette, seemingly waiting for someone.I run jealous girlfriend she hooks, wanting to take it a step further I try to run a new comfort game I learned, I barely make it through it, I neg her way too hard and way too many times, she is annoyed and leaves. My companions laugh but give me a pep talk. I’m shaken and the chump consumes. I walk to PUAskinny a bit about his journey and any suggestions he has. The thesis of his talk was, “Have fun and don’t take it so seriously”, we then discuss the best places to sarge in the area. Everyone decides it’s time to go. With 3 down and new wind in my sails I ask wishbone to stay back so that I can get this done.

Just then, a (7) brunette cutie with blue eyes and an orange tank top materializes nearby.

I can’t do it.

She stands alone.

I finally approach and run jealous girlfriend. She seems unbelievably closed off But I barrel through it, and she responds just as a tall skinny bike riding looking hippy guy with dirty blond dreads approaches. My spider sense tingles..

“This is my boyfriend” she explains.

“I’m Fucked” I Think. This is the first time I’ve sarged a girl and had a bf approach…what do I do? What do I do?

Act natural.

“cool maybe you can help” I run it on both of them. We chat a bit they are having fun. When it’s time for them to go They exclaim “Good to meet you”

The bar is closing.

I must complete my task.

A short tattooed black frizzie haired (5) brushes past.

“Hey!” she looked shocked “Ketchup or mustard?”

she loosens up and without a pause “Mustard, Duh” and sails into the night.

A good night although excruciating at times.

Cons:

-let the anxiety get to me.

-thought of it as a job as opposed to having fun.

-didn’t know material well enough.

Pros:

-Made a challenging, but realistic goal and accomplished it.

-Continued to power through to achieve my goal as opposed to taking the cushioned easy road.

-Tried new material.

-Thought on my toes when boyfriend approached and continued mission.

Feeling like a man who can actually get this stuff done. We go out the next night.

I dawn one of my crazy, stylish outfits that I bought during “The Dark Age” many refer to it as my Kanye West or Justin Timberlake outfit.

Wishbone heard of a mashup concert at a bar near downtown. I Sense Electronic Music chicks and good music. I had no choice. We rolled up to the place hella early to take advantage of the free, early cover and coat check. The place was a somewhat gothic with a wood balcony and faux brick upstairs. It was huge with great dark corners for isolation. “This is Sparta” I think. No one was there..yet

No problem. We decide to get our hand stamped and scope out the local bars. Besides the next door gay bar and the tranny bar down the street, there were opportunities abound. Taking the path of least resistance, we head to a bar where supposedly the booze is cheap and the women…well..are too. Perfect sarge opportunity. We confidently stroll in.

The bar is a medium size room. On the right side is wall of mirrors facing opposite of the side of the bar. A sliver of carpet between then leading to a dance floor at the back side of the room. A few more steps reveal the bar is in fact an island in the center of the room giving the impression of multiple rooms. It was pretty loud but not unbearable. It would be a great bar for a chump seeing as though the place obviously gets packed so you could inadvertently find yourself bumping into a beautiful (drunk) baby. Wishbone and I take up battle stations at the bar and scan for possible targets. “can I get you anythin?” rings in my ears. Taking my concentration off of the scanning ,I look to see a stunning tall brunette bartender with blue eyes and a busty pink tank top rolled up to reveal a flat toned stomach..a 10. Rolling my tongue back into my mouth, I ask for a blue moon. When she brings it back she adds “you look good” ..shocked I replied with some canned line that came off more like an asshole then a neg. Not quite blown out but definatly losing interest ,she makes a small joke and continues her bartender rounds. Feeling anxious and stuck in place the anxiety builds. Just then, a cute (6) tall blond comes up and orders a drink. I lean over and run jealous GF on her. I am somewhat nervous but manage to sputter it all out. Uninterested she leans into me and blurts out:

“Nice Story”

Blown out.

Trying to preserve my pride, I feign offended.

She leaves. I turn to wishbone and go over the event. Just then I notice a good looking  late 20 something man, well dressed with a peach fuzz beard. He is alone and obviously uncomfortable Thinking back to what many PUAs say about dynamics ”befriend the bar” I urge wishbone to befriend him. After a few pep talks he does and you can see a sigh of relief in the dude’s face. Some good conversation ensues, we find out he was in the army too. We all then scope out the scene and discuss our mutual interest.

Women.

The bar is well populated at that point but not crowded. Plenty of opportunities to be had. Suddenly across the bar I spot a silver and pink tiara floating atop a short blond head. Across her body was a sash and when she turned our way. The holy words on it read “bachelorette”.

A quick rewind. Back in the pre-dark age with wishbone we had our greatest success with bachelorette party’s. They love being approached, there is always more than enough to talk about, their tongues are loose along with their morals. But that’s another post.

Wishbone leans over and says “bachelorette party!” knowing this is my chance to get it done I try to think of the best way to approach. But I’m having the Preapproach brain freeze. I tell wishbone the dilemma. He gives me the most money line. I say I dunno about it. And says “if you don’t use it I will.”

I kick into auto pilot.

I float over to the bachelorette. Short blond (6) and her taller cuter, athletic, green eyed brunette counterpart. (8). I walk next to them and say over the shoulder. “where’d you get the hat? And don’t say toys r us!” she gives out a huge laugh.
B (bachalorette): I actually got it at Spencer’s
Dalai Clique: see I looked there for a pink one and they didn’t have my size (smile). Ok so where’s the list! For the party I’m gonna help you check these off!
B: oh I actually don’t have it. I think (blah) has it.
Greeneyes: do you have a 6 pack?
Dc: who’s asking?
B:that’s one of the things! To touch a guys 6 pack.
Greeneyes: ya pull you shirt up.
Dc: (laughing) I only do that for special girls!
Both: oh we’re not special?!
I give greeneyes the up and down inspection.
Dc: I haven’t figured it out yet
Bachelorette gives me a small punch In the arm. And her bigger (4) friend comes over with the bachelorette party check list. The two flip though it.
B: grab a strangers ass!
She plants a quick grasp of my ass.
Dc: you can’t do that!
She looks at me like a little kid caught red handed in the cookie jar. I let the tension build for a second.
Dc: you gotta grab like this!
put a firm grasp on her ass.
Dc: also I’m not a stranger anymore. You gotta come up to me and do it.
I walk between them and lean on the bar, role playing that I don’t see them. Across the bar I see wishbone and army cheering me on. B comes up and said “excuse me sir” and puts a firm grab on my ass.

DC: haha my mom warned me about girls like you!

they all laugh and talk amongst themselves. All of a sudden a group of 6 girls descend upon us. The Bachelorette introduces me to all of them. we joke and laugh and they suggest we take a picture. I put my arm around greeneyes. She is shy but enjoys the attention. Another light brown haired cutie with blue eyes in a black halter top is giving me a deep intrusive look. I grab her to pull her into the picture, she is obviously drunk, after the picture she begins rubbing between my legs and whispers into my ear “You’re trouble” I smiles at her and give her a knowing look. It just so happens she is standing in front of the next picture, I tell her “watch out, you’re blocking” she bounces out of the way with angry look, she starts grilling me with questions trying to shit test me. I answer the questions while talking to greeneyes. Knowing greeneyes was my type, I pay more attention to her. Announcing that more are coming to the bar the group moves to a booth with all of their jackets. They leave greeneyes and me alone. I chat her up a while build comfort, she starts alluding to the fact that they will keep partying afterward, that they will be taking a party bus and an after party as she gives me a shy and coy smile.

Just when it’s going well bachaelorette calls over green eyes to say Hi to the friends that just came in. Greeneyes drags me over and introduces all of us. Altogether I am handling 10 drunken horny girls alone, I’m good but not that good.Just when I am in over my head:

 The Cavalry arrives

Wishbone and Army roll up and ask “what’s the password here?” everything goes well the girls are happy they boys are happy. The bachelorette and green eyes splinter off to buy a drink and trusting my boys I leave the group to talk to them and seal the deal with greeneyes. After about ten minutes, wishbone walks up behind me and whispers “got blown out” and walks away. I let the girls know I’ll be back.

After the debrief, I realize that Wishbone got psyched out when one of the newer girls didn’t know him. Everyone else knew how money he was but in the particular situation he hit a road bump and bailed. Not wanting to re-engage or commit to the set, we just bailed and went back to the mash up concert, which turned out to be too loud to take care of business.

Cons:

-Didn’t let wings know the plans, assumed chemistry was stronger than it was

-Didn’t actively, know where I was taking interaction.

Pros:

-Opened with ease.

-Created Solid attraction

-kept entire group engaged.

-disqualified myself and made them qualify.

-rolled with the punches

-separated the dragon from the group and rolled on

All In All – Legendary.

So I return from LA and realize that I’ll be in SF for a while. I begin the process of laying down some roots. Wishbone and I realize that it’s time we get this stuff down cold. It just so happens that weekend is labor day. I call this weekend ” The Maelstrom” the weekend where this stuff clicked, I became the new me and the “age of enlightenment” began. A 4 day weekend for wishbone and being unemployed at the time, A normal weekend for me. So, we decide to return to “The Garden” after having some success and the fact that we loved the chill atmosphere.

We roll in a bit apprehensive, but feeling good. The bar is somewhat dead. A group of guys and girls in the booth against the wall. A couple dudes at the bar and a guy/girl set on the other side of the bar. Bar tending on the side closes to the door with the dudes, was a blue eyed red-haired cutie with a “girl next door” face and an ass outlawed in 3 states. She’s was a solid 8. I’ll call her “ruby” I’m lovestruck by ruby. I wished I could always get a bartender especially One as cute. But I don’t forget the task at hand. On the other side of the bar was a tall blond guy bar tending Occasionally running drinks down to the girl in the guy/girl set . Wishbone and I take up position in the middle of the bar, drinking White Russians and figuring out our next move. While strategizing, I saw the girl in the guy/girl set give us the look a couple times. She was a short wavy haired brunette with a dyed red streak, green eyes and a nose stud. She had a low cut white halter top, which reveled her… assets were not great but more than enough to keep you interested. Ill refer to her as ms. Jaeger. She looked obviously bored by the guy she with and seemed almost like she was begging to be liberated. The stage was set.

Anxiety check.

Opener check.

Strategy check.

Wishbone peels off into the bathroom. Being at the end of my white russian. I approach the bar within earshot of the dude and Ms. Jaeger and say to them. “Hey do you know any good drinks?” They are somewhat stunned and look at each other. I continue “‘cus my friend suggested a white russian..its not my thing. I’m tryin to learn some new drinks.”

Ms. Jaeger: try a (don’t remember)
DC: You’ll prob suggest some  drink from sex in the city. I need a man’s drink.
DC:Any ideas dude?
Dude kinda trips over his words suggesting a jack and coke etc. Ms. Jaeger, obviously not used to being second fiddle, leans in looking at me hard. She suggests a drink twice. I ask “what? do you work for them?” she responds “sometimes” I look at the dude and ask. “Can you vouch for this girl” kinda laughing. He qualifies to her (being a chump) and says “oh yes, of course.” I buy the drink she suggests and hate it. Feeling like I negged too many times I let her know I like it (qualifying) I then ask them “what are cool places around here” being new and all. Just then wishbone bounces back from the bathroom and asks “what’s the password here?” I introduce him then give him the drink Ms. Jaeger suggested. After tasting it, a look of disgust washes over his face and he asks “who suggested this?” Ms. Jaeger, responds proudly. He begins to mess with her. Sensing it was on with wishbone and jaeger I run interference on the guy. He is more than happy to chat. I am positioned so as not to have the guy easily turn to see wishbone and jaeger groping  each other. After about 15 minutes she gets up. Wishbone comes over and asks me if we should go to this electronic after party she invited us to. We both decide that staying up till 6am wasn’t a good idea this night. Resting on our laurels we sit down and chat up the bartenders for the night.

Cons:

-Qualified to her.

-Showed no intent to target.

Pros:

-Opened

-Stuck to plan

-Improved wingman chemistry

After the night out in the Marina I was bitten by the bug. I saw how attainable the goal of the new me was.

It just so happened Mike, an old Army friend of mine, had gotten into Pick-Up recently. Now, It’s time I pause a minute for bromance. Mike and I went to basic training together. Back then he had huge bottle bottom glasses, pale white skin  and a posture of a squirrel. He was soft spoken and always had a dazed look in his eyes (think revenge of the nerds). I met him in the crazy frenzy of “YOU HAVE, 30 seconds to get off this bus!”. I don’t remember how or why we started talking but I had always enjoyed talking to him and we stayed in touch long after. I was proud of him because he took that all important step of saying to himself “I don’t have to be like this, I wanna be the man I know I can be” (a step most guys never admit to themselves).

The point.

He happened to be down in LA for the weekend, visiting some family the same weekend I was scoping out a film school. We decided to get together and sarge. He was staying at a hotel which doubled as an over flow for a local hostel. The hotel left plenty to be desired. Because of the neighborhood there were about 6ft red brick walls with razor sharp barbed wire surrounding the building. It had the decor of an old 60s swanky James Bond hotel….which hadn’t been remodeled since then. in the middle was an old pool which only one or two brave souls dare enter and a patio on either side with flimsy white chairs.

What’s the upside you ask?

Well besides the free drink tickets that came with the room. Chicks, European chicks to be exact (what dreams are made of) mostly Germans and Danes with Irish and Swedes peppered in.

Enter: Mike and myself. Feeling a bit more confident, I strut into the patio and take up a position at the makeshift bar next to the pool. Our bartender is a bald semi-sleezy older guy in a horrendous Hawaiian shirt. We decide to chat him up a bit to raise our value. We find out he used to be in the army, after trading war stories.  He explains that his boss at the hotel used to be under his command. While talking, I spot a couple of sets open. Then close. I am just prolonging the conversation while I let the anxiety pass..it shows no signs of letting up. Bartender informs us that the free drink bar is around the corner and is about to close. We scurry around there and see a group of German chicks and British dudes having a merry time. Next to them is a 2-set talking. One about a (6) brunette with a retro looking button up blouse and skinny jeans. The other an (8) blond cutie with green eyes and a short purple dress to boot.

The anxiety begins.

Mike and I chat at the jukebox over music..procrastinating. A moment of clarity sets in and I float over to the girls. Asking “Hey real quick guys, I have to get back to my friend. but my friend has been dating this girl for 3 months. He still talks to his ex from college. The new Girlfriend says he needs to stop or they’ll have a problem. Is there a problem with that?”….damn botched the jealous GF opener. But delivered with solid eye contact and body language. The blond looks to the brunette and the brunette explodes with advice….to the point where I almost can’t get a word in. The bar closes but they aren’t done talking. Mike joins and we take them out to the patio where we chat a bit and she finishes giving advice for my imaginary friend. I then suggest I sense an accent. She says “Sweden” (I knew god loved me). We talk about Europe and their trip to America their misadventures etc. The blond chiming in every so often but staying quiet and actively listening. Still stuck in routine mode and not understanding the fundamentals, I try to neg with “….those shoes look comfortable” no avail she takes it as a compliment. The patio closes. Without hesitation I declare “I’m having too much fun, we’ll take it to our room”. Brunette 6 complies with no hesitation. We all get up and head to the room. About halfway there the 8 says she doesn’t want to go. The girls talk in Swedish for a second the 6 turns to me and says “she’d rather go to our room”…inside my head I shout “fuck yes! I don’t care where as long as it’s on”.

I respond. “that’s cool”

We head through a maze of plants and rooms to finally arrive at a group of chairs and tables in front of a room. The girls sit………then we sit…and chat…some more. The comfort is on. I try to run a comfort game but I don’t know it well enough. We start talking politics and President Bush and Sweden. 45 minutes later just when I realize its not going down, a group of Swedish dudes that apparently knew them joins us and the mood is killed. After I concede defeat Mike stayed a bit longer and I began the journey back to our hotel room , I run into some Irish cuties who I’d seen on my bus ride to LA. I run jealous GF on then to great success they are having fun. I tell them I’m psychic and guessed they rode a bus from SF to LA last night. In shock they are hooked. One of them (the less attractive one) disappears to talk to a guy nearby, Irish cutie asks me how I knew. I admit I was on the same bus. She gives me the “let’s do this look”. Partially stunned this stuff worked, partially stunned I’m in this situation and partially stunned that I didn’t know any more  material, a weird awkwardness floated above the interaction. Soon after her friend pulled her away. Being nearly 4 am I call it quits and head back to the room.

Cons:
- Didn’t know material well enough.
-Little to no kino.
-Didn’t sarge forward even after no material
-Didn’t identify target and keep her engaged long enough.
-When target lmr’d didn’t deal with it.
-Energy level too low.

Pros:
-Opened and ran two solid sets.
-Good body language.
-Kept value high with bartender.
-Bounced set to multiple locations.

All in all it was a great sarge for a n00b I was proud of myself and my wing.

So I though for the beginning I’d take you all back to the beginning.

I knew my wing ‘wishbone’ from before I moved to California. I met him shortly before “The Dark Age”, we would go out to some (chump) success. Well, I mean honestly I would get numbers etc. But it was more fools game than anything. I was relying on my looks and that I was less chump then the other guys there. He transplanted to California about a year before I did. He is also the one who bestowed the holy grail of success with women “The Game”.

We agree , finally, go out and get some “Sarging” (chatting up/ interacting with women) done. I meet up with him at his place pretty early. We sit in his kitchen catching up on our history with women and what we we’ve been up to the last year while getting some material from Neil Strauss’ (Style) computer pick up seminar. He asks what part of town we should go to? He explains his favorite parts are “The Mission” where the chicks are more wholesome or hipster. And “The Marina” where the chicks are more.. image conscience, barbie doll-esque if you will. (more “SoCal” as I like to call it). Lemme preface this by saying that this was a period in which Ms. X and I talked semi-regularly over texting and phone (When I would answer). Toxic, yes. I was still trying to put put her out of my mind though. Ms. X is a wholesome looking chick as well as all of my ex’s (minus one super fly honey. But later post I promise). Trying to put that in the past I opt for the cougar/fake-in-bake chica option.

We arrive at the Marina and meet up with our tiny and belligerent companion. The others trade war stories of legendary douchbags in the Marina. We roll up to our first place. Its an incredibly modern and swanky place with seats near the floor almost no light and mirrors galore. There were cuties wall to wall with douchebags to match. We waltz into the bar with a star crossed look in our eyes as if we were a group of kids chasing after an alcoholic father in Vegas. Nervously pacing through the bar, we quickly find ourselves out of space to procastinate. Trying our best not to be those guys. I scanned the room looking for potential prey. Maybe this blond cute looking my way? She smiles. Yes this might be it! A guy bumps past me with two fists of drinks toward her, damn..  Every girl I consider suitable is taken. Oh, a young brunette cutie. I go to approach… but my feet don’t move, my heart races, my head suddenly feels cold and my hands shake….

this must be approach anxiety I think

..I can’t do it.

Our third amigo then turns to says “This place sucks. Let’s find another spot”, thank god. I’m saved by the bell. We cross the street to a kinda dive bar with a quaint vibe in a 1950s Tarantino-esque way.

Ill call it “the garden”.
We roll in with about the same “deer caught in the headlights” energy level. The place is packed but not unnegtioable. A couple beautiful babies but mostly dudes. We work our way to the bar. An adorable blond blue eyed bartender floats over and asks “What can I get ya?” in a heavenly Aussie accent. “if only” I think. We order our signature White Russians and she informs us she doesn’t have milk but an amazing recipe for one (It ended up being horrible). While waiting I look over to see gorgeous body covered in a loose green dress. The eyes and less then desirable face are gazing in my direction, but talking to a guy. I think back to “The Game” and the millions of things I could do to destroy this guys game…the anxiety returns and my drink arrives. Then suddenly, I feel a brush near my shoulder. To my right, the green dress is inadvetlrtantly standing next to me. Wishbone leans over to me and whispers “proximity alert”. It’s do or die time. I nervously lean over. “Can I ask you a question?”. Excited she replies “Sure!”. I nervously stumble through Style’s “Jealous girlfriend”opener. She seems interested and maybe a bit too eager. It goes well. Wishbone and the third amigo try to get me to go but in having too much fun. I’m feeling ballsy so I move forward with another attraction game but I’m so nervous It blows up in my face…she’s still giving me buying signs though. For a third time the guys try to pull me away. Knowing I’d prob regret it if I stayed we left to take a $30 cab ride to Daly City to meet up with third amigos friends and supposed hot chicks.. But as they say, “All good thing come to an end”. There was nearly anyone at this bar, on top of that there was more sausage than a lifetime supply of Oscar-Meijer.

All in all it was a step forward.

A baby step in action, a leap in self confidence

As far as interactions go, Juggler says something powerful in this regard. You’re the sun shining on all those around you. You’re warm, friendly and giving. People bask in your light. If they appreciate it, great, if not, great, there will be other people who will.

I think it’s always best to start with reality. So, above I discussed one technique of how to make powerful impressions. You yourself said it’s important to treat yourself kindly. I think that’s crucial. In fact I’d say that’s probably the most important thing of all, because once you treat yourself with kindness, you will pretty much automatically treat everybody else the same way. Kindness is very powerful.

But how to bring across your kindness in a specific interaction?

I’ll walk you through specific steps as to how to connect with women and people in general through specific skills as taught by Charismaarts:

First off, your VIBE — your PRESENCE

Think of what would make YOU comfortable. How would somebody have to behave around you to make you comfortable. Do that. Watch other people who are good at this. Learn by observation.

BODY LANGUAGE: Stand up straight, arms by your sides. It feels very vulnerable and uncomfortable at first but vulnerability is the point. If you’re standing there with arms crossed or all fidgety you’ll probably make her feel defensive and fidgety. If you’re vulnerable that shows strength. Only confident people allow themselves to be vulnerable. This may seem counter intuitive but go with me here.

EYE CONTACT: Look her in the eye when you say something to her. Don’t stare, but confidently look at her, especially when you’re listening.

SMILE: However, don’t be weird PERMA GRIN GUY. When you listen to her, stop smiling, just have a face of quiet expectancy, and look at her. When you speak be expressive and smile. The idea is to be dynamic.

Okay now as to SPECIFIC CONVERSATION SKILLS:

MAKE IT PERSONAL — – I Statements and YOU questions

What’s an I-Statement?

A major part of the Juggler method lies in making people comfortable enough to allow them to share their unique qualities. An instructor I know says: “Everybody’s interesting. It’s my business to bring that out in them”.

I’ll give you three specific ways on how do to that: I-Statements, OEQs and The Vacuum:

I-Statements: The idea here is that you share who you are and this will make people comfortable sharing who they are.

These statements are as SPECIFIC as possible and genuine. You talk in a relatable way about what you truly care about. Example: “I love skiing. I skied almost every day growing up. I love the feel of the wind in my face and the rush of the speed”. Here’s another one. “I enjoy walking in the surf. I like the feel of the cold water on my bare feet, the heat of the sun on my back and the salty air in my nose. It relaxes me.”

In both these statements she gets a feel for what kind of a person you are.

Next: OEQ (Open ended questions):

In order to find out about her you ask her OEQs. These questions are as GENERIC as possible: “How, what, why?”

Examples:
What do you like about basket ball?
How did that feel?
What’s Paris like?
Why?

If you share with her who you are through I-Statements and ask her Open Ended Questions chances are you’ll get to something that truly excites you and that you can SOI her on. So, there it is.

Oops, one last ingredient: The famous “Vacuum”.

After you ask a big question there may be a tendency on your part to fill in the empty space as she thinks about an answer. Don’t. Look at her with quiet expectancy. Look into her eyes to possibly build sexual energy. The vacuum is powerful. If she balks, just ask her a smaller question. i.e. “What do you think of traveling?” “Oh, I don’t know”. “Well, what was the last place you traveled to?” However, do not go on “questions trains”, meaning don’t keep asking questions. If you don’t get anything just answer your own question and either vacuum to see what she might want to say next or ask another OEQ.

I hope this helps.

One last thing to keep in mind: Have the conversation be about 50-50. You do 50 percent of the talking and so does she.

In that post I also addressed as to how to get out of the “Friend Zone” and make it sexual by SOI’ing a girl.

The new site is up, but it is still up in test mode phase. Please give in your input on the new site and what you would like to see.

http://www.latinstylez.com/

We decided to go to a club in town which is quite an emo/goth/alternative vibe. The line was crazy long so we ended up at the shack next door. Choded around in the beginning. Started getting annoyed so said ‘fuck it’ and  opened 1^st set which went well. Gamed a normal chick, ie no countless piercings and tattoos, was cool and kino’ed and played with her. Teased friends a bit. The friends were a bit bitchy to me but not too bad. Should’ve been less reactive and more funny about it. Should’ve been more sexual with her and maybe tried isolation then makeout. Opened goth set up stairs. Went fairly well and the one friend was showing quite a bit of interest in me. Did some kino but not suffice. Need to be more fucken sexual. They then left and we ended up chatting to their friends. Kino’d too early and chick changed to other couch. Was quite a superficial chick though. Then sat down and started chatting to 2 set outside. My mate knew them so we chatted for a while. Not much kino. Kino’d sister of the one. She was quite into me. Lost frame and maybe came across as needy/uncool. She left. Then tried opening 2 set inside on couches and they were not too responsive. Should’ve plowed on. Then left and opened young girls outside and chatted a bit. Had some IOI’s there. Drove them home, maybe AFCish. Was getting kino’d a bit by the blonde in the car.

Overall a decent night of fun and confidence building. The fact that I went up and initiated conversation with roughly 5 girls is something I would have never imagined a few months prior. I’m still not bringing home but it is sure a far cry from the times I’d go out and not say a word to a random girl…

2009 Was started with a massive 3 day trance party up in the mountains. I was still very new to the game and had gone up with some fellow pua’s that had been in the game for about 3 years. These guys inspired me and depressed me at the same time. I was amazed at how easily they approached and interacted with beautiful girls but at the same time irritated that I couldn’t do it nearly as well. This attitude didn’t go down too well and I ended up not kissing one girl and only getting one number, although it was from a HB Brazilian, for the whole three days. Talk about massive choding!

When I got finally got back to my luxurious house, relative to my 2 man tent and monotonous supply of bread for 3 days, I decided to go out and try make up for my dismal performance over the trance party.

I went to the mall for some day gaming. I luckily had a shirt to take back  which made the approach a lot more authentic. I ended up chatting to the hottest assistant. I Flirted with her and got her name at end. She actually seemed like quite a cool person. I then went to the next shop and tried on sunglass’s. I asked an older lady of about 30 for help but she didn’t think she was cool enough to help. I then asked a girl for her advice but she was quite hesitant, possibly because mother was there. I also wasn’t as smooth as possible. Went to gym and chatted a bit to gym girl assistant. All and all a good start to 2009. I really need to get out of my comfort zone more. I called up HB brazilian girl and set up a day 2.She seemed interested but ended up  flaking on me but was not too phased and deleted her number from my phone to reduce any needy habits.

AFC(average frustrated chump): A pre game person that is not good with women and only ever gets with them through luck.

AMOG(alpha male other Guy): To show your dominance and alphaness over another male to increase your chances of getting the girl. If an amog comes into your set he will try make himself seem better and more confident than you and the girl will be attracted to him instead.

Bitch shield: A women who is bitchy to you because she is so sick and tired of having countless AFC’s approach her and waste her time. You need to break through that shield by proving that you are a confident man and not another lame AFC.

Chode: A person that is not good with girls and is quite loserish. Used interchangably with AFC

Choding: Acting like a chode. Standing ar0und talking instead of approaching girls and escalating interactions. “We’re choding too much, time to approach and stop wasting time.”

Day game: Approaching and gaming girls during the day. Its usually done at malls and in streets. Very important set to have as you want to be able to attract any girl you’re interested in anytime.

Ejecting: Leaving the set when you know it is only going to get worse OR leaving on a high note so you can come back and continue at a later stage.

F Close: Having sex with the girl.

HB(hot babe): Rated on a scale of 1-10. Usually described as HB7 or HB10 depending on beauty.

K Close: Kissing the girl on the lips.

LJBF(lets just be friends): This happens with you don’t show enough alpha-ness and sexuality and the women loses her sexual attraction for you.

LMR(last minute resistance): This is when a women decides at the last minute that she is not ready for sex with you and you need to either avoid it completely or overcome it to entice her for the final run.

Neg: An underhand negative comment to bring a hot girl down a few notches so she does not think she is too good for you. “Those freckles are really cute.” You are most likely pointing out a sensitive spot and she will be more concious and less bitchy.

Night game: Approaching girls at night clubs and bars. This is where most of the pick up happens and it requires a lot of skill to attract beautiful women due to bitch shields.

Sarging: The act of going out to purposefully approach and meet many women. This is what the game is all about.

Social value: This is determined by how many people know you and the more girls you talk to the higher other girls will value your status. Skipping the long line at a club because you know the bouncer gives you super high social value.