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	<title>satire-2 &amp;laquo; WordPress.com Tag Feed</title>
	<link>http://en.wordpress.com/tag/satire-2/</link>
	<description>Feed of posts on WordPress.com tagged "satire-2"</description>
	<pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 13:24:56 +0000</pubDate>

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<title><![CDATA[A Modest Proposal By Jonathan Swift,]]></title>
<link>http://free2livedotme.wordpress.com/2013/04/16/by-jonathan-swift/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 16 Apr 2013 22:32:15 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Ugly Stick</dc:creator>
<guid>http://free2livedotme.wordpress.com/2013/04/16/by-jonathan-swift/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[A recession buster from the 1729]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A recession buster from the 1729 <span class='embed-youtube' style='text-align:center; display: block;'><iframe class='youtube-player' type='text/html' width='640' height='390' src='http://www.youtube.com/embed/tMJ8CNb6Kuk?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;wmode=transparent' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></p>
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<title><![CDATA[Guy Does That Thing (R)]]></title>
<link>http://edwardhotspur.wordpress.com/2013/04/16/guy-does-that-thing-r/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 16 Apr 2013 21:57:13 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Edward Hotspur</dc:creator>
<guid>http://edwardhotspur.wordpress.com/2013/04/16/guy-does-that-thing-r/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Guy Does That Thing There&#8217;s a guy &#8211; name isn&#8217;t important He is holding a can of pa]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Guy Does That Thing There&#8217;s a guy &#8211; name isn&#8217;t important He is holding a can of pa]]></content:encoded>
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<title><![CDATA[Weiner comes back with a ‘Fun City’ revival plan (satire)]]></title>
<link>http://mbalton.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/weiner-comes-back-with-a-fun-city-revival-plan-satire/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:59:16 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>michaelbalton</dc:creator>
<guid>http://mbalton.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/weiner-comes-back-with-a-fun-city-revival-plan-satire/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[You want lies with that? New York &#8212; Distinguished former Congressman Anthony Weiner is testing]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 190px"><a href="http://mbalton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/6510-4713-1273times1.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image " id="i-864" title="Times Square" alt="Image" src="http://mbalton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/6510-4713-1273times1.jpg?w=180&#038;h=120" width="180" height="120" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">You want lies with that?</p></div>
<p>New York &#8212; Distinguished former Congressman Anthony Weiner is testing the waters for a run for mayor, releasing a multi-level plan that would return this metropolis to its Fun City roots.</p>
<p>For openers, the proposal would bring back the grit and grime of Times Square, and includes funding for the conversion of three theaters there into peep show palaces. “We would also erect more strip clubs throughout the city and remove the lap dance tax so these establishments can again be profitable,” a campaign booklet said.</p>
<p>Weiner distinguished himself two years ago by taking pornographic pictures of himself and texting the shots to unsuspecting women.   Then he tried to cover up the bizarre behavior with lies that corrupted the integrity of his  Congressional office.</p>
<p>The resulting uproar cost him his political career, but maybe not. Weiner’s Fun City plan takes advantage of his experience as a sleaze and digital stalker, offering voters some added value attributes that other candidates simply do not possess.</p>
<p>“Of course, the main objective of this plan is job creation,” the  brochure said. “By cleaning up Times Square, we lost an entire generation of lap performers, pole dancers and prostitutes. Mayor Anthony Weiner would bring those professions back into the city’s economy.”</p>
<p>The centerpiece of the would-be mayor’s concept is  the development of a 269 acre combination adult amusement park and pornography production facility called Weiner World.</p>
<p>“This would be the first-ever clothing optional entertainment complex,” the campaign brochure stated. “The plan is to build it in Staten Island, turning a landfill into a goldmine.”</p>
<p>Other major recommendations of the blueprint would revoke Mayor Bloomberg’s nanny reforms.</p>
<p>“Smoke all you want, wherever you want,” the  Weiner written pamphlet advises. “What do we care? Die young and help solve our Medicare problem.”</p>
<p>Similarly, the plan encourages the use of oversize beverage containers. “In fact, the larger the soda, the less the tax. We want people to enjoy  the full bouquet of their high fructose corn syrup.”</p>
<p>Surprisingly, prohibitions on narcotics and other controlled substances remain Intact under the Weiner plan. “That will keep organized crime  profitable,” the campaign literature said. ”We’re also going to revive Take a Thug to Lunch Day to keep the lines of communications open.”</p>
<p>Weiner had originally released a 64 point plan on ways to restore the city as a place for middle-class families. It was largely ignored, with critics who did read the offering describing its recommendations as “political clichés.”</p>
<p>In contrast, Anthony Weiner’s Fun City proposal has gotten rave reviews and may soon be converted into a major motion picture.</p>
<p>“We looked long and hard for an idea that will make this city stand up and notice. We believe this concept is now at hand.”</p>
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<title><![CDATA[“This Is Me Swallowing My Pride”]]></title>
<link>http://shsethematador.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/this-is-me-swallowing-my-pride/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 15 Apr 2013 17:33:49 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Mia Trentadue</dc:creator>
<guid>http://shsethematador.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/this-is-me-swallowing-my-pride/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Despite the undeniable success of Taylor Swift’s senior album Red, she has decided to ditch the whol]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Despite the undeniable success of Taylor Swift’s senior album <i>Red</i>, she has decided to ditch the whole innocent, country girl with a guitar persona. After “it [felt] like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters and make fun of [her] exes,” she not only realized that her musical career was far too mainstream but she also came to the conclusion that maybe she doesn’t “gotta be so mean” to her past boyfriends.</p>
<p>Swift recently issued an apology to all of her exes because she stated that since she “knew [they] were trouble when [they] walked in,” she should have “never ever ever” went out with them in the first place; however, she doesn’t feel too bad since, like, a million of her multi-platinum songs came about as a result of it. Looking back, Swift realizes that she was just going through her clingy ex-girlfriend phase that lasted 7 years in which she had 47 boyfriends. She argues that, “when you’re 15 and somebody tells you they love you, you’re gonna believe them;” however, she basically believed anyone that said that to her until “[she was] feelin’ 22.”</p>
<p>Luckily, she has insured the public that, for now, she’s done believing guys when they say that they’ll be together “forever and always,” and wouldn’t even have the time for a boyfriend anyway because only “half of [her] heart’s got a grip on the situation, [and] half of [her] heart needs time.” Time for what, you may ask? Who knows since she obviously can’t write any new lyrics without having some guy to whine about.</p>
<p>Not surprisingly, Swift states that she blames all of the problems with her past relationships on the guys but is grateful that they’ve helped her grow as a songwriter. And, as a thank you, she has decided that she’s willing to forgive them for all of the agony they caused her. It had to be all their faults the relationships failed, right? Like, she’s totally the perfect girlfriend.</p>
<p>Swift is so forgiving for their epic relationship fails that she has even decided to give her exes—all of them—a shot at working with her on her newest album. Through forming a new super group composed of her ex-boyfriends, Swift is generously giving them all the opportunity to help her write the lyrics for a new single that will be so incredibly underground that you’ll probably never hear of it. Swift comments, “Now there’s no way anyone can say that there’s an indie record that’s much cooler than mine.”</p>
<div id="attachment_465" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 283px"><a href="http://shsethematador.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/swift-meme-diylol-com.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-465" alt="The popular opinion supports the fact that Swift has never been the problem in her relationships. " src="http://shsethematador.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/swift-meme-diylol-com.jpg?w=273&#038;h=300" width="273" height="300" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">The popular opinion supports the fact that Swift has never been the problem in her relationships.</p></div>
<p>&#160;</p>
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<title><![CDATA[Leeds United’s “Life of Brian”]]></title>
<link>http://robertatkinson61.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/leeds-uniteds-life-of-brian/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 15 Apr 2013 16:50:51 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Rob Atkinson</dc:creator>
<guid>http://robertatkinson61.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/leeds-uniteds-life-of-brian/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[LIFE OF BRIAN In honour of our new Manager’s appointment, may I proudly present: Leeds United’s “Lif]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 497px"><a href="http://robertatkinson61.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/monty-pythons-life-of-brian.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image " id="i-2245" alt="Image" src="http://robertatkinson61.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/monty-pythons-life-of-brian.jpg?w=487&#038;h=274" width="487" height="274" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">LIFE OF BRIAN</p></div>
<p align="center"><i>In honour of our new Manager’s appointment, may I proudly present:</i></p>
<p align="center"><strong><i>Leeds United’s “Life of Brian”</i></strong></p>
<p align="center"><i>The “<strong>What Has Bates Ever Done For Us?</strong>” Scene, for those conspiracy theorists who maintain that Uncle Ken is still in charge.   (With sincere apologies to the Pythons.)</i></p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="center"><i><a href="http://robertatkinson61.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/life_of_brian.jpg"><img class=" wp-image alignleft" id="i-2248" alt="Image" src="http://robertatkinson61.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/life_of_brian.jpg?w=103&#038;h=147" width="103" height="147" /></a>The interior of <strong>COOPER&#8217;S </strong>house. A darkened room with a very conspiratorial atmosphere. <strong>BILLY</strong> and <strong>BIG JACK</strong> are seated at a table at one end of the room.<strong> EDDIE</strong>, dressed in Activist gear — white robes and a blue &#38; yellow sash around his head — is standing by a plan (of a palatial residence in Monaco) on the wall. He is addressing an audience of about eight <strong>MASKED ACTIVISTS</strong> including unsuspected double agent <strong>LASH</strong>. Their faces are partially hidden.</i></p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Eddie</strong>:  We get in through the underground heating system here&#8230; up through to the main audience chamber here&#8230; and Bates&#8217; wife&#8217;s bedroom is here. Having grabbed his wife, we inform Bates that she is in our custody and forthwith issue our demands. Any questions?</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Lash</strong>:  What exactly are the demands?</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Billy</strong>:  We&#8217;re giving Bates two days to dismantle the entire apparatus of LUFC Holdings and all related offshore companies, and if he doesn&#8217;t agree immediately we execute her.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Cooper</strong>:  Cut her head off?</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Eddie</strong>:  Cut <i>all</i> her bits off, send &#8216;em back every hour on the hour&#8230; show him we&#8217;re not to be trifled with.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Billy</strong>:  Also, we&#8217;re demanding a ten foot mahogany statue of Brian Mawhinney with his cock hanging out.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Big Jack</strong>:  What? He&#8217;ll never agree to that, Billy.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Billy</strong>: That&#8217;s just a bargaining counter. And of course, we point out that he bears full responsibility when we chop her up, <i>and</i>&#8230; that we shall <i>not</i> submit to blackmail.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>All</strong>:  <i>(Applause)</i> No blackmail!</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Billy</strong>:  He’s bled us Whites <i>white</i>, the bastard. He’s taken everything we had, not just from us, from our fathers and from our fathers&#8217; fathers.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Big Jack</strong>:  And from our fathers&#8217; fathers&#8217; fathers.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Billy</strong>:  Yes.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Big Jack</strong>:  And from our fathers&#8217; fathers&#8217; fathers&#8217; fathers.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Billy</strong>:  All right, Jack. Don&#8217;t labour the point. And what has he ever given us <i>in return</i>?</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Lash</strong>:  The New Improved East Stand.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Billy</strong>:  Oh yeah, yeah he gave us that. Yeah. That&#8217;s true.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Masked Activist</strong>:  And promotion!</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Big Jack</strong>:  Oh yes&#8230; promotion, Billy, you remember what League One used to be like.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Billy</strong>:  All right, I&#8217;ll grant you that the New Improved East Stand and promotion are two things that Bates <i>has</i> done&#8230;</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Cooper</strong>:  And the minus 15</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Billy</strong>:  <i>(sharply)</i> Well <i>yes obviously</i> the minus 15&#8230; the minus 15 goes without saying. But apart from the New Improved East Stand, promotion and the minus 15&#8230;</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Another Masked Activist</strong>:  Administration&#8230;</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Other Masked Voices</strong>:  Yorkshire Radio&#8230; LUTV&#8230; Billy’s Bar&#8230;</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Billy</strong>:  Yes&#8230; all right, fair enough&#8230;</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Activist Near Front</strong>:  And the Membership Scheme&#8230;</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>All</strong>:  Oh yes! True!</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Eddie</strong>:  Yeah. That&#8217;s something we&#8217;d really miss if Bates left, Billy.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Masked Activist at Back</strong>:  Public humiliations on TV!</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Big Jack</strong>:  <i>And</i> it&#8217;s nice and quiet sitting in the North Stand now.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Eddie</strong>:  Yes, he certainly knows how to keep order&#8230; <i>(general nodding)</i>&#8230; let&#8217;s face it, he’s the only one who could in a place like this.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><i>(rueful grins and more general murmurs of agreement)</i></p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Billy</strong>:  All right&#8230; all right&#8230; but apart from Administration and Yorkshire Radio and LUTV and Billy’s Bar and public humiliations on TV and minus 15 points and the Membership Scheme and stewards shutting everyone up and Stadium Security making us sit down or chucking us out&#8230;. what <i>has</i> Bates done for <i>us</i>?</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Lash</strong>:  Brought Warnock!?</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;" align="left"><strong>Billy</strong>: <i>(very angry, he&#8217;s not having a good meeting at all) </i>What!?  Warnock??  Oh&#8230; <i>(scornfully)</i> Warnock, yes&#8230; <strong><em>shut up!</em></strong><em>!</em></p>
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<title><![CDATA[I Work from Home (and hello- YOLO!)]]></title>
<link>http://cprojectpatton.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/workfromhome/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 15 Apr 2013 14:19:06 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Christy</dc:creator>
<guid>http://cprojectpatton.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/workfromhome/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[My day is pretty much like anyone else&#8217;s day. Except way more awesome. Not to brag or anything]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h4 style="text-align:center;">My day is pretty much like anyone else&#8217;s day. Except way more awesome. Not to brag or anything. Just saying. Start oozing envy now, I work from home. Thermostat? All mine you whores!! Meetings? On the phone! Dress code? I say, Psssh what dress? YOLO!! I never wear pantyhose! Or panties!!</h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://cprojectpatton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/58053_10200105912908242_1408680731_n.jpg"><img alt="58053_10200105912908242_1408680731_n" src="http://cprojectpatton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/58053_10200105912908242_1408680731_n.jpg?w=388&#038;h=388" width="388" height="388" /></a></h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;">For serious, I really do work from home, for over a year now. It&#8217;s a full time job- keeps my bills paid ya knowassup! I&#8217;m a sales representative (product peddler) for some really fantastic skin care and supplements, organic stuff, all that Whole Foodsnesses. Bonus? I have no wrinkles for FREE! Yay- Bubble bathes for everyone!!! Yolo!!!</h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;">Also since I&#8217;m always home, I&#8217;m a part time animal supervisor.. Floor sweeper of hairs and birdseed. Wiper of bird shit from chairs and floorspaces.. Feeder of barking, slobbery, fiendish dogs. My wish for my feathered and furry animal children? Can&#8217;t I just lock them up all day in a vacuum chamber until 6pm?! Sadly, no. They have feelings.. and chambers are expensive. Animals you YOLO too!!! Also if they weren&#8217;t around I&#8217;d have no one to talk to at work!! YOLO!!!</h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;"></h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://cprojectpatton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/funny-pet-videos.gif"><img alt="FUNNY-PET-VIDEOS" src="http://cprojectpatton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/funny-pet-videos.gif?w=388&#038;h=497" width="388" height="497" /></a></h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;"></h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;">My day hits the wood floors running/slowly/depends around 9:15am. Is it Monday? Did I drink last night? Is it Wednesday? Why isn&#8217;t it Thursday!! Grumble! I wake up to the buzz, I hate the buzz, nagging buzz.. Angrily I snooze until 9:25. When I drag my lazy round ass out of bed, I pull my hair up. Nobody wants to see that mess. Then I cough down the hallway, as I walk to the bathroom where I proceed to pee while I check my email on my phone. With bloated crusty eyes, I judge myself in the mirror. Sometimes I wash my face. haha! Never.</h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;"></h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;">Then I let my dogs outside to pee. I always get to pee first, because I am alpha dog! Big dog YOLO!! Once the villains are back in the house, I stagger into my office, turn on the light, and open my Macbook pro. After a pause to check over my superior device for which I&#8217;m still making minimum ((YOLO!)) payments on (JK Dad!!) I turn on Spotify on and exit the room. I only use Spotify because I pay for it. I feel obligated to use it. (yolo again!!!) Plus my Facespace friends can stalk what I&#8217;m listening too (y&#8217;all Yolo y&#8217;all!!). I leave Spotify on all day long.</h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;"> At this point in now-awake-kingdom I realized I am (most likely) naked and throw on yesterdays (and the 2/3/4 days before?) dirty tribal printed shorts/vendor tshirt/paint splattered tank whatever is on the floor by my bed. It doesn&#8217;t matter, it&#8217;s almost always gross- but soo cute. Time to work!! I have my first espresso for the day. My adoring gemini mother bought me a DeLonghi espresso machine 6 months ago&#8230;yes!! YOLO!!! I&#8217;m so much more productive now! I don&#8217;t drink tea anymore, that shit is seriously for weak ass bitches. Coffee? Omg!! I&#8217;m like yesyesyes time to go to fucking work!!! I love going to work!!! Then I run into the next room over!!</h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://cprojectpatton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/562611_10152708955810187_1677652251_n.jpg"><img alt="562611_10152708955810187_1677652251_n" src="http://cprojectpatton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/562611_10152708955810187_1677652251_n.jpg?w=388&#038;h=291" width="388" height="291" /></a></h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;">I&#8217;m so much more productive now (since my yolo machine!!). Sometimes/ always I&#8217;m in here, on my ass on my computer, working. On my ass on my phone, talking. Like when I&#8217;m not on the road or something I&#8217;m working from home. Does that mean I don&#8217;t really actually always work at home? I&#8217;m not sure yet. I do travel. I may be lying inadvertently on occasion. You know, I&#8217;ve got the number one rated job on yahoo.com! It&#8217;s not google but whatever. Google wants you to work for them btw call them back. Also satan wants your soul, he rang. (yolo?)</h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;">I use the larger bedroom in my 100+yr old house for an office. It needs some (major) therapy but has nice windows. My bungalow is soo charming (swoon) filled with love and no fucking dishwasher. Big yard though! The mice are a total freebie bonus! Cha-ching, dog entertainment!!! Now I don&#8217;t have to lock them up! May be the birds can be mice hunters too- obvious bird YOLO!! Ok downside to this space I call my office, no closet. Seriously. People in 1900 didn&#8217;t wear clothes, that is fact. Hello, clever deduction! yolo clever!!!</h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;">Last year there was a pseudo wire coated piece o&#8217;shit &#8220;closet&#8221; installed on the wall but it fell. Like, fucking fell right off the wall, of course I was working. All my vintage merch fell with it, serious trauma to my stone incrusted and sequined heart! Yes, it was piled high. Whatever, it&#8217;s all fine now just holes in the wall. Note to self: never let x-roomie or Bf&#8217;s install closets. I made it work out ok though.. I just moved the mess into the living room, can&#8217;t let piles o&#8217;shit and rubble get in the way of a coffee induced feng shui binger!!! YIN/YANG YOLO!! Making it happen! Getting it done! Move that mess!!</h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;">Down side to working from home= develops hatred of showers= hermit life= does not make for good upkeep of socialization skills. I used to be the life of the party, now I dance in my kitchen with socks on. I have a friend who actually told me she can tell i&#8217;m pissed she calls me. Isn&#8217;t that fucked up! I get mad at my friends for calling me.. Hello I need to yolo! More! Especially if it&#8217;s been like less than 42 hours since we last spoke. I&#8217;m all like &#8220;learn maah rules biatches!&#8221; Loner? NO- YOLO? YES!</h4>
<h4><a href="http://cprojectpatton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/jesus-christ-im-a-lion.gif"><img class="aligncenter" alt="jesus-christ-im-a-lion" src="http://cprojectpatton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/jesus-christ-im-a-lion.gif?w=388&#038;h=483" width="388" height="483" /></a></h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;">I am a filthy asshole who hates her friends, cue friends grumbling. That&#8217;s part of the hermit-itis comes with alone, a type of lonely ancient hermit disease. Plus, I smell. My stenchsoaked dogs roll in poop piles outside, so they don&#8217;t care. Would you shower if your office was private? Pssshh bitch please, you would most assuredly not. I have no hygiene issues (really YOLO!!). No one wants to see this filth! Yesterday I put oil all over my head (and subsequently shoulders too! YOLO!) I left that oil all over my scalp and slept in it. You know why? Because I don&#8217;t have to go anywhere for a week. I just have to keep up with my demon worshiping animals and do my job.</h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;">Sometimes I do work like a normal person, like with clean hair. I&#8217;ll even eat lunch. I&#8217;ll heat that frozen burrito at 3pm, right after my 5th coffee refill, and I&#8217;ll forget about it until it burns. Sometimes I almost feel like I&#8217;m passing out and I&#8217;m like &#8220;Oh yeah time for food&#8221; whatever. Sometimes I drink so much coffee I can&#8217;t even sit down, so I don&#8217;t .. buzz buzz- weeeeee!! Productivity! I try to not drink too much coffee on days I spend on the phone, no body wants to talk to a overly chatty, coffee buzz whore, salesbitch at 10am, promise. That&#8217;s strictly an afternoon persona I&#8217;ve learned. their issue not mine! YOLO! I&#8217;m not wearing pants!!! Jokes on them!</h4>
<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://cprojectpatton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/cover-that-butt.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2528" alt="cover-that-butt" src="http://cprojectpatton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/cover-that-butt.jpg?w=388&#038;h=316" width="388" height="316" /></a></p>
<h4 style="text-align:center;">Majorly the only problem I have is space. Well not too much space, it&#8217;s more that I dont have like a huuuge downtown loft building or like a 20x35ft office space with a huge window that screams &#8220;here are your inspirational ideas/motivation you juiced bitch!&#8221; I have to work for inspiration and like, work, actually work for it. Mostly my job is just organizing shit.. and talking stores into letting me do events, trainings, sales. speaking.. all that. Then I get to organize for real, like.. yeeeah.. Products, paperwork which is all digital now (fucking-fuck yes), and fliers for more stuff. I stow all of this mega talent away in a 12.x14 space. I&#8217;m massive with talent!!!</h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://cprojectpatton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/522161_10151620294853833_749520569_n.jpg"><img alt="522161_10151620294853833_749520569_n" src="http://cprojectpatton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/522161_10151620294853833_749520569_n.jpg?w=350&#038;h=498" width="350" height="498" /></a></h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;">When I&#8217;m not feeling organized I really don&#8217;t work well. I scream at my co workers (dogs) and cry to my boss (myself). That is not an excuse I swear. When it rains I have the same problem with fuzz brain. When it rains piles of unorganized shit, I cry. boohoo I work from home. Boo hoo I have the number one most coveted job in the country on yahoo.com! I don&#8217;t shower daily. Ain&#8217;t nobody got time for all that. My commute is 5 seconds. I work from home.. I hate pants. YOLO!! is totally stupid.</h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://cprojectpatton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/yolo.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-2529" alt="YOLO" src="http://cprojectpatton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/yolo.jpg?w=388&#038;h=329" width="388" height="329" /></a></h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;">I will live FOREVER</h4>
<h4 style="text-align:center;">Christy</h4>
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<title><![CDATA[In Memoriam: Margaret Hilda Thatcher (1925 - 2013)]]></title>
<link>http://robertatkinson61.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/in-memoriam-margaret-hilda-thatcher-1925-2013/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 15 Apr 2013 11:51:42 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Rob Atkinson</dc:creator>
<guid>http://robertatkinson61.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/in-memoriam-margaret-hilda-thatcher-1925-2013/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[HM Maggie the Thatch An evil old woman was ThatcherFor cruelty you just couldn&#8217;t match &#8216;]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 400px"><a href="http://robertatkinson61.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/thatch.jpg"><img class=" wp-image " id="i-2215" title="HM Maggie the Thatch" alt="Image" src="http://robertatkinson61.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/thatch.jpg?w=390&#038;h=293" width="390" height="293" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">HM Maggie the Thatch</p></div>
<p style="text-align:center;">An evil old woman was Thatcher<br id=".reactRoot[42].[1][3][1]{comment236839849789309_952496}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0].[1]" />For cruelty you just couldn&#8217;t match &#8216;er<br id=".reactRoot[42].[1][3][1]{comment236839849789309_952496}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0].[3]" />She said she&#8217;d not turn<br id=".reactRoot[42].[1][3][1]{comment236839849789309_952496}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0].[5]" />But now she can burn<br id=".reactRoot[42].[1][3][1]{comment236839849789309_952496}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0].[7]" />For the Reaper has managed to catch &#8216;er</p>
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<title><![CDATA[Leeds United - Does the Fightback Start With This Sweetest of Wins?]]></title>
<link>http://robertatkinson61.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/leeds-united-does-the-fightback-start-with-this-sweetest-of-wins/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 15 Apr 2013 11:29:17 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Rob Atkinson</dc:creator>
<guid>http://robertatkinson61.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/leeds-united-does-the-fightback-start-with-this-sweetest-of-wins/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Leeds United Manager Brian McDermott Welcome to Leeds, Brian McDermott.  Whatever else happens durin]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 497px"><a href="http://robertatkinson61.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/brian-mcdermott-leeds-united.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image " id="i-2196" title="Leeds United Manager Brian McDermott" alt="Image" src="http://robertatkinson61.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/brian-mcdermott-leeds-united.jpg?w=487&#038;h=330" width="487" height="330" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Leeds United Manager Brian McDermott</p></div>
<p style="text-align:justify;">Welcome to Leeds, Brian McDermott.  Whatever else happens during your reign at Elland Road, you could hardly have had a better start, and there were signs aplenty of much-needed change in application, atmosphere and attitude in the team, the crowd, the whole club.  And who better to win against in your first game?  Sweet as a nut.  Thank you so much.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;">Saturday&#8217;s 2-1 victory over Sheffield Wednesday was actually beyond sweet, for several reasons. Probably the most important of these was the fact that, after months of saying &#8220;we must win today to squeeze into the play-offs&#8221;, we&#8217;d finally woken up to the brutal reality that a run of poor results had brought us juddering down to; so now it was &#8220;we must win today because, oh sweet Jesus, we could get bloody relegated.&#8221;  That pressure has at least eased off slightly in the wake of a somewhat nervous but rapturously welcomed win.  We&#8217;re not out of the woods yet, but we may at least be out-distancing the wolf and leaving poor Grandma to face a bottom three finish on her own.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;">The other reasons for relishing Leeds United&#8217;s win at the expense of the Wendies, as we fondly think of them, date back to the return fixture at Hillsborough earlier in the season. For those who have forgotten, Leeds played awfully, went behind and looked well on the way to defeat.  Then Michael Tonge&#8217;s stunning equaliser was followed immediately by a yob invading the pitch from among the Leeds fans who&#8217;d turned up merely to watch the game, and proceeding to land the third-best punch of the evening on the unsuspecting face of Wendies &#8216;keeper Chris Kirkland.  The two <em>best</em> punches had been landed earlier in the piece by thuggish home defender Miguel Llera on two different Leeds players, and were ignored by the ref, in the normal FA-approved manner.  Llera, a lanky dork in a head-guard, might normally have been subject to some scrutiny after the game for his free interpretation of the rules regarding lamping your opponents in the jaw, but on this occasion the focus was almost entirely upon the actions of the miscreant who&#8217;d emerged from the away support.  Questions were asked in the House, resolutions were passed by the United Nations, the NATO alert status was upgraded to Amber and the Galactic Federation issued an ultimatum demanding that Leeds United be relocated to dwarf planet Pluto.  Or that&#8217;s how it felt.</p>
<div class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 198px"><a href="http://robertatkinson61.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/jones.jpg"><img class=" wp-image " id="i-2200" title="Quiet, Jones" alt="Image" src="http://robertatkinson61.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/jones.jpg?w=188&#038;h=209" width="188" height="209" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Quiet, Jones</p></div>
<p style="text-align:justify;">Strangely, the only person even <em>slightly</em> to distract the full attention of the Fourth Estate from this heinous act of a drunken thug, was Wendies manager Dave Jones, who seemed confused as to who the real victim was in the whole sorry episode.  Interviewed directly after the match, an over-emotional and highly-strung Jones was asked about his take on events, the interviewer clearly expecting a confirmation that his &#8216;keeper had been assaulted, that it was disgusting and that it was all Leeds United&#8217;s fault.  What Jones came up with though was a protracted whinge about the chants directed at him by Leeds fans, that he&#8217;d had this for years, that it was disgusting and that it was all Leeds United&#8217;s fault.  He rounded off his tirade of barely-suppressed sobs by stating that the Leeds fans were &#8220;vile animals&#8221;.  All of them.  No exceptions.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;">In the next few days, once the laughing over Jones&#8217; histrionics had died down somewhat, many Leeds fans took to posting pictures on social media of their sweet little eight or nine-year old lad or lass, clad in Leeds United regalia, clearly incapable of melting butter in their innocent little mouths, to point out that said little lass or lad had been tarred by the obnoxious and unwisely gobby Jones as a &#8220;Vile Animal&#8221;.  It was an apt demonstration of how silly it is to open your trap without first engaging your brain, but there was no real climb-down from the defiant Wendies boss, and &#8211; the rantings of the gutter press aside &#8211; it was generally agreed that he hadn&#8217;t come out of it too well, and had indeed made something of a prat of himself.  Apart from seeming entirely focused on his own perceived (non-physical) injuries, to the exclusion it appeared of his poor goalkeeper who had actually copped for a fourpenny one, Jones had also managed to cock a deaf &#8216;un to the vile &#8211; if I may borrow his word of choice &#8211; chants from the Wendies faithful about the two Leeds fans murdered in Istanbul.  Jones&#8217; lexicon of sick insults  would seem to be a highly selective publication.  If only he could have foreseen how the &#8220;Vile Animals&#8221; tag would be taken up by the Leeds faithful, almost as an inverted badge of honour, maybe wiser counsel would have prevailed.  But it&#8217;s probably fair to say that Jones doesn&#8217;t have a wiser counsel.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;">Annoyingly after all this, Mr David Jones, Sheffield Wednesday&#8217;s current manager, was not apparent on the touchline at Elland Road on Saturday.  We&#8217;d all been looking forward to renewing the acquaintance, to seeing Jones trying to avoid the scornful gaze of twenty thousand people, to watching him squirm as the hated Whites (hopefully) trod his on-form Wendies into the turf.  The victory came to pass, as we know; but Jones had managed to incur a highly convenient and opportune touchline ban, so was mercifully spared running the gauntlet of vile animals and copping for another load of earthy West Yorkshire humour.  Some would say that Jones had engineered this situation by deliberately making intemperate comments after a draw at Bristol City which he knew would see him wriggle out of an Elland Road ordeal, and that it was the act of a coward and a hypocrite.  And I&#8217;d be among their number.  Dave Jones is a ridiculous and embittered little man, and I can hardly think of a more fitting victim for what was &#8211; I sincerely hope &#8211; only the first of many McDermott-inspired victories for Leeds United.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;">So this victory was the ideal start, but the Strife of Brian may yet be lurking ahead.  Even if Leeds do finally pull well clear of the drop-zone in the remainder of this season, the new Gaffer certainly has his work cut out to rebuild the morale of a club that has lurched through a long drawn-out crisis of a season which has brought massive disappointment in the league, only partly assuaged by two decent Cup runs and the slaying of several Premier League &#8220;giants&#8221; at Elland Road &#8211; just to remind us what being Leeds used to be all about.  Can Brian restore these heady times and glory days?  It all depends, not least on the support he can winkle out of whoever owns the club by the time summer finally comes.  Next season will be a success if the playing style can be found to suit the personnel available, and if the team actually compete like they mean it, instead of strolling through the motions like case-studies for chronic apathy.  Promotion would be nice, but it&#8217;s not mandatory, not in a manager&#8217;s first season.  Let&#8217;s just battle, show some application and skill, and let&#8217;s get that old Leeds United spirit back, so that we can be not just loud, but proud again.</p>
<p style="text-align:justify;">Oh &#8211; and if Mr Jones has somehow clung on to his Hillsborough hot-seat &#8211; six points off the Wendies would be just lovely too.  Thanks again.</p>
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<title><![CDATA[Obama's Stupendous, Spectacular, Sequestration Tour, Ch. 3  [satire]]]></title>
<link>http://peskytruth.wordpress.com/2013/04/14/obamas-stupendous-spectacular-sequestration-tour-ch-3-satire/</link>
<pubDate>Sun, 14 Apr 2013 17:13:48 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>garnet92</dc:creator>
<guid>http://peskytruth.wordpress.com/2013/04/14/obamas-stupendous-spectacular-sequestration-tour-ch-3-satire/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Obama’s Frugal Vacation Ch. 3 of 4, I’m going to Disney World NOTE: This is the 3rd chapter of Obama]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h3 style="text-align:center;"><strong><span style="color:#0000ff;"> <b>Obama’s Frugal Vacation</b></span></strong></h3>
<p style="text-align:center;"><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">Ch. 3 of 4, I’m going to Disney World</span></strong></p>
<p style="text-align:left;">NOTE: This is the 3rd chapter of Obama’s frugal vacation. If you missed the first part, you can access it <a href="http://peskytruth.wordpress.com/2013/03/11/obamas-stupendous-spectacular-sequestration-tour-satire/">HERE</a> – the second chapter is available <a href="http://peskytruth.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/obamas-stupendous-spectacular-sequestration-tour-ch-2-satire/">HERE</a>. Ideally, they should be read in sequence. Also note that originally, this was to be a three-part story. Chapter 3 got so long, I decided to end it and continue the story in a newly added (and final) Chapter Four.</p>
<p style="text-align:center;">~~~</p>
<p>As before, the plan was to get up about seven to get on the road early. They’d hook up and head out, stopping just south of Savannah at a truck stop to fuel up and eat a quick breakfast.</p>
<p><a href="http://peskytruth.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/gas-prices-04.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-1085 alignleft" alt="Gas prices 04" src="http://peskytruth.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/gas-prices-04.jpg?w=190&#038;h=259" width="190" height="259" /></a>“<i>Get your gas two ways: food and fuel</i>” was the advertising slogan for the <i>On the Run</i> truck stop. It was a favorite stop for truckers traveling I-95 who liked the breakfast burritos and good prices for diesel. Reason enough for it to have been chosen as a morning stop by the caravan’s trip coordinator, Jacque Strapp.</p>
<p>The group split up into groups, some refueling while others ate a quick breakfast. As they finished, they swapped places.</p>
<p>But Murphy’s Law reared its head and Jacque’s wife who wasn’t due to deliver for another three weeks went into labor and he had to catch a quick commuter flight back to DC. He left his taxpayer-funded AMEX credit card with the Agent in Charge, Phil Landerer. The plan was to put all charges on Strapp’s card.</p>
<p>But there was a problem, when it came time to settle up, the system wouldn’t accept Landerer’s signature for the charges. So, they owed a total of $1,759.25 for food and fuel and the taxpayer’s AMEX card wouldn’t accept the charges.</p>
<p>The station’s manager called the owner, a Mr. Heinz Sight, and asked for approval to accept the president’s word that they’d pay a bill sent to the White House.</p>
<p>But Mr. Sight wasn’t buying it. <i>“The president’s word? You got to be kiddin’ me. He ain’t never paid for nothing yet. He don’t pay nobody back. He lives on credit and I have to pay my bills with cash.” </i>Mr. Sight made it plain that he didn’t trust Mr. Obama as far as he could throw a Peterbilt tractor.</p>
<p>But even if they pooled all their cash, the group didn’t have $1,759.25 and since they were living according to the Obama philosophy, (overextended) all of them were already over their personal card limits.</p>
<p>So, being a wily businessman, Heinz Sight offered a solution. If president Obama would sign an IOU (a legal promissory note), he’d let them move on.</p>
<p>With little other choice, Obama reluctantly signed the IOU. It really pissed him off when Mr. Sight chuckled, “<i>Heh, heh, heh, and laughed at the president’s predicament</i>.”</p>
<p>Obama didn’t like being embarrassed, but he had no other choice. He would have preferred to have one of the agents simply “<i>bust a cap in that mother******,</i>” but that could be messy what with the press monitoring their actions. Maybe he’d send a Predator back to visit Mr. Sight.</p>
<p>Damn, he was going to need a lot more drones.</p>
<p align="center">~~~</p>
<p>Finally, they were on the road again.</p>
<p>Riding shotgun in the passenger seat, Ben O’Drill was casually scanning the countryside checking out the farms and pastures and counting cows until &#8230; <i>whoa</i> &#8230; <i>what was that</i> &#8230; <i>something flew by &#8230; too big to be a bird</i>. He only saw it for a few seconds, but it &#8230; it looked like &#8230; <i>a drone!</i></p>
<p><i>“Chee, did you see that? I swear I thought I saw a Predator fly by. You don’t think that Joe Biden could have &#8230;”</i></p>
<p>The driver, Chee Spurger laughed, but wasn’t alarmed,<i> “No way, it couldn’t be Joe, we hid the keys, he’ll never find them. And Joe couldn’t find his ass with both hands.” </i></p>
<p><i>“Yeah, I know, we did hide ‘em, it couldn’t be him, and he’s not smart enough to hot-wire one. I must be seeing things, must’ve been a really big bird.”</i></p>
<p>About a minute later &#8230;</p>
<h2><b><span style="text-decoration:underline;"><a href="http://peskytruth.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/predator-strike.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-1087 alignleft" style="width:304px;" alt="Predator strike" src="http://peskytruth.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/predator-strike.jpg?w=314&#038;h=259" width="314" height="259" /></a></span></b><span style="color:#ff0000;"><b><span style="text-decoration:underline;">KA-BOOM!</span></b></span></h2>
<p>There was an explosion less than a mile up ahead. All traffic screeched to an immediate stop.</p>
<p><i>“Holy crap, what was that?”</i></p>
<p><i>“I dunno, but it hit smack dab in the middle of the highway not more than a half-mile away.”</i></p>
<p><i>“You don’t think &#8230;” </i></p>
<p>“<i>Nah, it couldn’t be.</i>”</p>
<p><a href="http://peskytruth.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/interstate-traffic-04.jpg"><img class=" wp-image-1088 alignleft" style="width:306px;height:227px;" alt="??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????" src="http://peskytruth.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/interstate-traffic-04.jpg?w=300&#038;h=223" width="300" height="223" /></a>The explosion and damage to the highway stopped all southbound traffic for almost an hour.</p>
<p>Interstate traffic was backed up for miles.</p>
<p>Finally, the state police starting moving vehicles off of I-95 and onto a state road, taking the motorists past the blast area. At one point as they went by, everyone did get a brief glimpse of the destruction through the trees and saw the one vehicle that was completely destroyed.</p>
<p>It was &#8230; <i>a pickup truck pulling a silver-bodied trailer. The plot thickens &#8230;</i></p>
<p>A half-hour later, back on I-95 and approaching Jacksonville, the two agents were still talking about the near miss explosion. Was it a coincidence that the blast demolished a pickup pulling a trailer? Did Ben really see a Predator? If so, who was controlling it? Regardless of the unanswered questions, it was too much a coincidence for it to have been an accident – which could only mean that <i>it was meant for POTUS</i>.</p>
<p>They were both deep in thought, when the music of Taylor Swift’s latest love-gone-bad tune slowly faded out and was replaced with a musical tone signaling a Homeland Security audio alert.</p>
<p>“<i>Wait – what’s that &#8211; turn it up.”</i></p>
<p><i>“We interrupt the program in progress to bring you an urgent live message from the Vice President of the United States.”</i></p>
<p><span style="color:#0000ff;"><i>“My fellow Americans, this is your Vice President, Joe Biden. I have some sad news. I come to you with a heart filled with great sorrow. I’ve just been informed that our North Korean adversary, General Kim Phat Phuc, has hacked into our Predator drone control system and directed one of our own drones to strike at the very heart and soul of this country, at our dear leader, our most beloved &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230;”</i></span></p>
<p>[An off-mike unintelligible voice says something we can’t quite make out.]</p>
<p>[And we hear Joe respond, his hand not completely covering the mike, <i>“What? Are you shittin’ me? Who says? Are they sure? Damn, how the hell did it miss? Give me a f**king break.”</i>]<i></i></p>
<p><span style="color:#0000ff;"><i>“My fellow Americans &#8230; (a long silent pause) &#8230; never mind &#8230;.”</i></span></p>
<p><i>“We now return to our previously scheduled program.”</i></p>
<p>Taylor Swift resumes singing that “<i>Someday her prince (Harry) will come</i>.”</p>
<p>Ben and Chee decided that something must be done, they (and the president) were sitting ducks. Ben radioed Phil Landerer, the Agent in Charge of Obama’s security detail and suggested that when they stopped again for a pee-break that they send an urgent signal for the president’s personal superhero to check out Joe Biden.</p>
<p style="text-align:left;" align="center">They had a secret weapon, a resource of last resort that they could call without alerting the other federal agencies. They could send up a “bat signal” for [<em>ta ta taaaa</em>] <b><i><span style="color:#ff0000;">Female-Man</span>.</i></b></p>
<p><a href="http://peskytruth.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/bertha-venation-2.jpg"><img class=" wp-image-1090 alignleft" style="width:280px;height:321px;" alt="Bertha Venation 2" src="http://peskytruth.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/bertha-venation-2.jpg?w=226&#038;h=300" width="226" height="300" /></a>In times of peril, we’ve always had heroes that emerge to save the good guys from evildoers (Superman, Spiderman, etc.).</p>
<p>Today, our way of life is under siege by foul and loathsome forces and we need a superhero more than ever.</p>
<p>Enter &#8230; [<em>ta ta taaaa</em>] <span style="color:#ff0000;"><b><i>Female-Man</i></b></span>, the masked crime fighter.</p>
<p>During peaceful times, she is Holotta Heiney, mild-mannered masseuse, but when the chips are down, when push comes to shove, when the fit hits the shan &#8230; she’ll find a vacant airplane hangar, struggle into her costume and become &#8230;</p>
<p>[<em>ta ta taaaa</em>] <span style="color:#ff0000;"><b><i>Female-Man</i></b></span>.</p>
<p>Faster than a speeding walrus, more powerful than stomach cramps, and able to leap a wiener dog in a single bound, she is &#8230;</p>
<p>[<em>ta ta taaaa</em>] <span style="color:#ff0000;"><b><i>Female-Man</i></b></span>.</p>
<p>She don’t fly so good, her ample bottom keeps bumping along the ground (limiting her altitude), and she’s strong as an ox (and almost as pretty), but she’s got <i>gumption</i>!</p>
<p>She already had a big “G” for her costume and wanted to be called “Gumption Gal,” but that was already taken by another superhero, so she settled on &#8230;</p>
<p>[<em>ta ta taaaa</em>] <span style="color:#ff0000;"><b><i>Female-Man</i></b></span>.</p>
<p><span style="color:#0000ff;">“♪♪ <span style="color:#ff0000;"><i>Here she comes to save your can, here she comes, she’s Female-Man</i> </span>♪♪”</span></p>
<p align="center">~~~</p>
<p>The “<b>F</b>”ing signal went off in Female-Man’s cave, alerting her that she was being called to fight evildoers once again. Sue Shee, her Japanese assistant, helped Holotta butter up so she could get into her costume. The problem with using butter as a lubricant was that when she got hot, she smelled like a grilled cheese sandwich &#8211; which had the effect of alerting her adversaries while making bystanders hungry.</p>
<p>Holotta read the text message sent by Phil Landerer and was aghast and taken aback (how often does a superhero get “taken aback” and “aghasted” in the same sentence?).</p>
<p>But this one was a doozy.</p>
<p><i>The Secret Service was concerned that the VP, Joe Biden, might have gone rogue and directed a Predator drone attack on the president. </i></p>
<p>Female-Man had a crush on the skinny, big-eared president. She longed to wrap her meaty arms around his under-loved frame and squeeze him till he cried mama (she liked to think of herself as his Uhhbama mama). One day, she longed to wrestle his pseudo-wife and evil villain, Moochelle, for the right to bare his babies – just thinking about it, she began to flush. Uh oh, there goes that grilled cheese smell again.</p>
<p>If it was true that Joe Biden had tried to snuff Uhhbama, she would do unspeakable things to him. She texted Landerer back that she would go undercover (a bright red-orange greyhound bus is difficult to keep undercover) to check out the allegation.</p>
<p align="center">~~~</p>
<p>Now that [<em>ta ta taaaa</em>] <span style="color:#ff0000;"><b><i>Female-Man</i></b> </span>was on the case, Phil turned his attention back to their scheduled stop for lunch in Jacksonville.</p>
<p>They were just approaching the northern outskirts of the city when he got a call from Sam Sonite, the agent currently driving the SUV with the first lady as a passenger. She was complaining that she needed to relieve herself and couldn’t wait ‘till the lunch stop, still about an hour and a half away. She <i>demanded</i> that they stop.</p>
<p>So the AC radioed the other rigs that they had an unscheduled urination situation. When the first lady’s bladder ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. Luckily, they were in an open stretch of highway and pulling over didn’t result in any serious safety concerns.</p>
<p><a href="http://peskytruth.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/bathroom-02.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-1096 alignleft" alt="Bathroom 02" src="http://peskytruth.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/bathroom-02.jpg?w=239&#038;h=300" width="239" height="300" /></a>When the convoy stopped, Bertha Venation did her duty as pee-coordinator and assigned the first lady to Airstream No. 8022. It was Michelle’s first time in that unit and she was pleased to see that the bathroom had recently been renovated and there was one of those nice padded soft seats on the toilet.</p>
<p>After completing her task, she was distressed to find that she couldn’t get up. The toilet seat appeared to have attached itself to her ample bottom and wouldn’t let go. She tried and tried, even pushing down on the seat while attempting to stand – to no avail.</p>
<p>She heard Bertha’s whistle signaling that the pee-break was over and they should return to their vehicles. Thirty seconds later, there was another blast on Bertha’s whistle.</p>
<p>The first lady yelled <b>“<i>Rachel!</i>”</b></p>
<p>Rachel Slurr was one of Michelle’s handmaidens (butt-maiden would be more accurate). Her main duty was to apply <i>Boudreaux’s Butt Paste</i> to the first lady’s derriere to keep it supple and smooth (gag). Boudreaux’s was a Louisiana product once touted by Oprah on her TV show as wonderful for diaper rash on babies. Rachel had applied a generous coating to the first lady’s bottom this very morning.</p>
<p><b>“<i>RACHEL!</i>” </b></p>
<p><b><i>“$%%**@#@ RACHEL!</i></b><b>”</b></p>
<p>But, (no pun intended) what with the noise of traffic whizzing by and the noise deadening padding recently installed in the renovated Airstream, no one heard her bellow.</p>
<p>Fortunately, just before the caravan moved out, Bertha noticed that the first lady hadn’t returned the keys to the trailer. She went to No. 8022 and went inside. That’s when she heard Michelle screaming at the top of her lungs, <b><i>“GET ME THE %$*&#38; OUTTA HERE!”</i></b></p>
<p>Bertha carefully opened the door to find Michelle sitting there &#8230; fuming &#8230; and really, really pissed. “<i>What’s wrong?</i>”</p>
<p><b>“<i>I’m stuck to this</i></b> <b><i>&#38;%$&#38;%*$$ TOILET SEAT! That’s what’s wrong!</i></b>” “<b><i>Get Rachel Slurr in here! NOW!</i></b>” “<i>Yes, maam</i>.”</p>
<p>It seems that Rachel had used a brand new jar of Boudreaux’s Butt Paste on the first lady this morning. It was from a case that was a gift, thoughtfully sent to Michelle by Oprah. There was already no love lost between the two. Michelle was jealous of the attention that Oprah got whenever she was with Obama, but this was too much. Gluing Michelle’s bottom to a toilet seat was too much. Oprah would pay for this humiliation.</p>
<p>Michelle’s butt was apparently stuck fast to the seat and the women had no idea how to free it. They called for the men to remove the seat from the toilet and Michelle would just have to “wear” it until Jacksonville when they could consult a doctor.</p>
<p>The men decided that the lowest ranking aide would get the task. Various tools were discussed, like a hammer and chisel, a hacksaw, a box cutter, and a chainsaw. Finally, they decided that they didn’t want to damage the toilet seat and it should just be removed.</p>
<p>Armed with a pair of pliers and a baseball cap to shield his eyes from Michelle’s bottom (the sight of which could easily induce convulsions and blindness); Sigfried Denroy reluctantly went into the “lair of the beast.”</p>
<p>Chee Spurger (the comedian among the agents) suggested that if they couldn’t pry her loose, <i>they might have to blast,</i> <i>nyuk, nyuk,</i> <i>nyuk</i> (it was obvious that Chee had seen too many Three Stooges bits).</p>
<p>If you&#8217;ll note the picture of the bathroom, you can see that Sigfried had to get &#8220;up close&#8221; and verrrryyy personal with Mrs. Obama in order to remove the bolts. In fact, they got so close that Michelle was calling him &#8220;sugar&#8221; and &#8220;honey&#8221; before it was over.</p>
<p>Denroy was finally successful in removing the two bolts that held the seat to the toilet and allowed the first lady to get up. Since shorts and pants were no longer an option, one of her aides cut a hole in a <i>large</i> picnic table-sized tablecloth and she was able to exit the Airstream wearing that.</p>
<p>Always the smartass, Chee Spurger wondered whether she would ask “<i>does this toilet seat make my butt look big?</i>” She didn’t.</p>
<p>Ben O’Drill called ahead for a doctor to meet them at the restaurant. Dr. Benny Factor, a physician specializing in separating butts glued by Krazy Glue to toilet seats, could handle the separation and he could treat the first lady in one of the Airstreams. They’d give him the coordinates when they were closer.</p>
<p>Now back on the road and almost 90 minutes behind schedule, the GPS would lead them to the restaurant. At least that’s where they <i>thought</i> they were going. Instead, as a surprise, the first lady had arranged for the convoy to stop in a city park where the meal would be catered.</p>
<p>One inescapable problem for a caravan of twelve pickups/SUVs pulling trailers was that a large amount of space was required just to park the units – too much space for all but a few truck stops. Michelle had convinced Jacque Strapp (their trip coordinator) that park surroundings and a catered meal would be a welcome change. So he contacted the park management as well as a restaurant that would supply and deliver their lunch.</p>
<p><a href="http://peskytruth.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/airstream-52.jpg"><img class=" wp-image-1098 alignleft" alt="Airstream 52" src="http://peskytruth.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/airstream-52.jpg?w=300&#038;h=223" width="300" height="223" /></a>They pulled into Riverside Park and the park director showed them where they could park along the road, just across from the picnic grounds. Their late arrival wasn’t a problem for the park, but it was for the restaurant. Since no one in the caravan but Michelle knew about the arrangements, and she was in no mood to be bothered about anything except her own bottom, no one had contacted the caterer.</p>
<p>After waiting a full hour, the catering van returned to the restaurant, thinking that the order had been a hoax. So, there the travelers were, tired, without food, and waiting for Dr. Benny Factor to arrive so he could separate the seat from Michelle’s bottom.</p>
<p>And so, dear readers, the trials and tribulations of Michelle’s posterior will provide an appropriate <i>end</i> to this episode.</p>
<p align="center">~~~</p>
<p>Tune in again for the next chapter in the ongoing saga of: <b><span style="color:#0000ff;">The Obama Family’s Stupendous, Spectacular, Sequestration Tour.</span> </b></p>
<p><a href="http://peskytruth.wordpress.com/2013/04/27/obamas-stupendous-spectacular-sequestration-tour-ch-4-satire/"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><b>Chapter FOUR asks the burning question: </b><b>Who was <i>behind</i> the attack on Michelle’s <i>derriere</i> which made her the <i>butt</i> of Secret Service jokes?</b></span></a></p>
<p style="text-align:left;" align="center"><span style="color:#0000ff;"><strong><em>Pesky Truth©</em></strong></span></p>
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<title><![CDATA[Gun debate leads to a rise in suicides ]]></title>
<link>http://mbalton.wordpress.com/2013/04/13/gun-debate-leads-to-a-rise-in-suicides/</link>
<pubDate>Sat, 13 Apr 2013 21:37:26 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>michaelbalton</dc:creator>
<guid>http://mbalton.wordpress.com/2013/04/13/gun-debate-leads-to-a-rise-in-suicides/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Washington, DC &#8212; As the gun control debate enters its fifth month with no end in sight, mental]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Washington, DC &#8212; As the gun control debate enters its fifth month with no end in sight, mental health authorities are blaming the drawn out policy dispute for a rise in the nation’s suicide rate.</p>
<div id="attachment_857" class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 200px"><a href="http://mbalton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/19111-2555-1295capitol.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-857" alt="How a bill becomes a bore." src="http://mbalton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/19111-2555-1295capitol.jpg?w=190&#038;h=143" width="190" height="143" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">How a bill becomes a bore.</p></div>
<p>The major television ratings bureaus report a 12.2% increase in “terminal opt outs” for the first quarter of 2013.</p>
<p>Interpreting the figures, a spokesman explained: “These viewers have left behind suicide notes blaming politicians and pundits for literally boring them to death.</p>
<p>“They couldn’t take anymore blather about assault rifles, oversized clips and registration procedures. They have tuned out forever.”</p>
<p>Soon-to-be released studies by the Bored with Content Board confirm that repetitive rehashes of the gun control issue have been increasingly squeezing out fresh pop-culture coverage.</p>
<p>“They’re cutting into my Kourtney and Kim time,” a typical suicide note read. “Chris Matthews may have a nose for news, but the Kardashians  know how to sniff out the more interesting parts of a story.”</p>
<p>In a related action, an organization that represents the certifiably deranged is planning legal action against any lawmaker who proposes background checks as a requirement for gun ownership.</p>
<p>“What about my Second Amendment rights? I may be nuts, but I know how to read,” challenged Sam Maras, president of the advocacy group Psychos Without Borders.  “What about Catch 22? Slaughterhouse Five? And Stalag 17? All about nuts and guns, a classic combination.““</p>
<p>Maras took the occasion of his group’s first press conference to wear his Elmer Fudd outfit.</p>
<p>“Let’s say I want to settle an old score. You expect me to strangle that tricky rabbit with my bare hands? I‘ll come off looking like Dick Cheney at Easter dinner.”</p>
<p>Meanwhile, proposals from membership organizations representing gun owners triggered the highest rate of suicide responses. Particularly effective was a bumper sticker jointly developed by the gun groups and the U.S. Postal Service:</p>
<p>“Come sleet, or snow, or heavy rains, it takes a gun to blow out your brains.”</p>
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<title><![CDATA[Brave New World]]></title>
<link>http://deweydecimalsbutler.wordpress.com/2013/04/13/brave-new-world/</link>
<pubDate>Sat, 13 Apr 2013 10:47:11 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>deweydecimalsbutler</dc:creator>
<guid>http://deweydecimalsbutler.wordpress.com/2013/04/13/brave-new-world/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Ok, so the best book to start this blog off would have to be Aldous Huxley&#8217;s Brave New World. ]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ok, so the best book to start this blog off would have to be Aldous Huxley&#8217;s <em>Brave New World</em>.  The first three chapters are all setup and attempting to orient you to this futuristic society in which Henry Ford is worshiped.  A lot of folks are put off by those first chapters, but if you&#8217;re paying attention to what&#8217;s going on at all then you&#8217;d understand why.  I mean, what palantir did Huxley have hidden in his pantry to predict in 1932 concepts such as cloning, virtual reality, and test tube babies?!  Chapter three is a particular bitch with the whole conversation collage going on.  But hey, how else could he fit in several hundred years of agenda pushing, bias, conditioning, and reconstructing reality without either writing an entirely separate book or predicting Fox News?   </p>
<p>Anyhow, this book is amazing, aside from the fact that Huxley took every single scientific aspect of his time and twisted it around on top of our heads, in that it seems particularly poignant today as well.  I mean, we may not have cocaine pills, but soma can have another form other than Huxley&#8217;s ominous tablets.  I&#8217;m referring to your cellular phone, the smart one.  Whatever model or version you have, odds are you&#8217;re checking it constantly and might even get stressed if you leave it at home.  I&#8217;m guilty here as well.  I&#8217;m the first one to admit when I&#8217;m in a long line that phone comes out, and I&#8217;m usually on Facebook (the other other soma) bitching about long lines.  In some ways this is good because it stops me from bitching to the guy ahead of me, but in other ways the phones have taken over.  We&#8217;ve become very bovine in our complacency about things outside of them.  Anyhow, that&#8217;s my tangent, back to Huxley.</p>
<p>Another awesome thing about this book is the total Shakespeare quote trivia coming from John.  I especially like his quotes from <em>King Lear </em>when he&#8217;s angry at Lenina.  Sulfurous pit&#8230;so friggin&#8217; accurate, right?  No?  I see everything in there from <em>King Lear, Othello, Macbeth, Hamlet, The Merchant of Venice</em>, and, of course, <em>The Tempest</em>.  (BTW, did you notice the use of the Oxford Comma?  It&#8217;s here &#8211; deal.)  I&#8217;ve noticed that <em>The Tempest</em> references pop up in another place, referring to something along the same lines as Huxley&#8217;s book, the film <em>Serenity.</em>  If you haven&#8217;t seen it, don&#8217;t&#8230;go and buy the <em>Firefly</em> series, watch it, and then see the movie.  It&#8217;ll all make sense, especially the reference to Miranda.  You&#8217;re welcome. </p>
<p>The society itself is amazingly horrifying in the same way a wreck on the opposite side of the highway is.  We see the infants getting intentional brain damage, we see the conditioning (admit it, there was something in it that made a little too much sense &#8211; make someone perfect for the job he&#8217;s got to do), we see the strict class structure and all the other nonsense, and for just a bit we&#8217;d like to live in this world where we can behave carelessly and have no repercussions.  I think that&#8217;s part of the charm of the book; it&#8217;s appealing on a very real level.  Anyone who has ever had to search unrewardingly for jobs will understand the appeal of having one assigned to you before you&#8217;re even born, I mean decanted.  There have been countless examples throughout history, both near and far, where people have sat back and let the group/government/tribe/family do the thinking for them.  It certainly seems easier, and that&#8217;s where Huxley gets us.  We see how it is for the average citizen, and then we see the oddballs: Bernard, Helmholtz, John, and even Lenina with her tendency towards monogamy.  We see what happens when what the majority accepts conflicts with what our personal needs are.  (Yes, I&#8217;ll cover <em>Anthem</em> later.  Happy?)  It&#8217;s more than a little disconcerting that despite our horror at Huxley&#8217;s London, we move closer to it with each passing generation.  Not in the details, of course, but in the attitude and general behavior.  Ok, enough doom and gloom.  One thing that makes literature kick ass is that it contributes to what the stiffs in the Ivory Tower call &#8220;The Great Conversation.&#8221;  (I know, the same reason why sci-fi and fantasy don&#8217;t make the cut.  Piss on that.)  Literature contributes to the never ending question of &#8220;Us.&#8221;  In Huxley&#8217;s case, it contributes in the form of a warning in that we have a tendency to complacency that must be both acknowledged and resisted. </p>
<p>Funny enough, the hippies all but worshipped Huxley.  Of course, the Summer of Love looked closer to Orgy Porgy than anything else in that time, so I suppose they just read it wrong.  Maybe they just read the Sparknotes version.  Oops. </p>
<p><a href="http://deweydecimalsbutler.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/brave-new-world.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-63" alt="Brave New World" src="http://deweydecimalsbutler.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/brave-new-world.jpg?w=300&#038;h=300" width="300" height="300" /></a></p>
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<title><![CDATA[Satire: President signs utility bill]]></title>
<link>http://cassiusclub.com/2013/04/13/president-signs-utility-bill/</link>
<pubDate>Sat, 13 Apr 2013 10:00:25 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Ali Breland</dc:creator>
<guid>http://cassiusclub.com/2013/04/13/president-signs-utility-bill/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[In a highly controversial move yesterday President Obama signed his Utility Bill. The bill was for h]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[In a highly controversial move yesterday President Obama signed his Utility Bill. The bill was for h]]></content:encoded>
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<title><![CDATA[Rockstar Games WISHES I wrote for them...]]></title>
<link>http://thecalloftheancestors.wordpress.com/2013/04/13/robbiecommecials/</link>
<pubDate>Sat, 13 Apr 2013 08:23:56 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Siegfried S.</dc:creator>
<guid>http://thecalloftheancestors.wordpress.com/2013/04/13/robbiecommecials/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Much thanks to Renegade Ranting.(even though this audio first aired on Truth Militia&#8217;s blogtal]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<span class='embed-youtube' style='text-align:center; display: block;'><iframe class='youtube-player' type='text/html' width='640' height='390' src='http://www.youtube.com/embed/Lt5K7PEhnlg?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;wmode=transparent' frameborder='0'></iframe></span>
<p><strong>Much thanks to Renegade Ranting.</strong>(even though this audio first aired on Truth Militia&#8217;s blogtalk channel)</p>
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<title><![CDATA[The Size of Your Face]]></title>
<link>http://rampageproductions.net/2013/04/12/the-size-of-your-face/</link>
<pubDate>Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:00:24 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Rampage Productions</dc:creator>
<guid>http://rampageproductions.net/2013/04/12/the-size-of-your-face/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[So if you needed another reason not to go to Sri Lanka, aside from ignorance of its geographic locat]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[So if you needed another reason not to go to Sri Lanka, aside from ignorance of its geographic locat]]></content:encoded>
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<title><![CDATA[Margaret Thatcher : An Apology]]></title>
<link>http://ranknews.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/margaret-thatcher-an-apology/</link>
<pubDate>Fri, 12 Apr 2013 02:20:29 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>daveh75</dc:creator>
<guid>http://ranknews.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/margaret-thatcher-an-apology/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[The death of former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has caused a great deal of soul-searching at th]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[The death of former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has caused a great deal of soul-searching at th]]></content:encoded>
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<title><![CDATA[What's in a joke? (i)]]></title>
<link>http://contestedterritories.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/whats-in-a-joke-i/</link>
<pubDate>Fri, 12 Apr 2013 01:35:09 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>paulbower</dc:creator>
<guid>http://contestedterritories.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/whats-in-a-joke-i/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[What&#8217;s in a Joke? Satire, the Northern Irish conflict and architecture (amongst other things)]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-439" alt="IMG_1438 copy" src="http://contestedterritories.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/img_1438-copy.jpg?w=470&#038;h=377" width="470" height="377" /><br />
</strong></p>
<p>What&#8217;s in a Joke? Satire, the Northern Irish conflict and architecture (amongst other things)</p>
<p>What&#8217;s in a joke? quite a lot it would appear. The subversive power of satire and &#8216;the joke&#8217; as a political and emancipatory tool are covered in two publications I have recently read; Stephen Graham&#8217;s 2010 book: <a href="http://www.versobooks.com/books/1030-cities-under-siege">&#8216;Cities Under Siege: The New Military Urbanism&#8217;</a> (Verso:London) and most recently Metahaven&#8217;s 2013 ebook: <a href="http://www.art-agenda.com/shows/strelka-press-announces-metahavens-can-jokes-bring-down-governments/">&#8216;Can Jokes Bring Down Governments?&#8217;</a> (Strelka Press:Moscow). Where as Graham talks about Satire as one of six suggested overlapping &#8216;countergeographies&#8217; to confront and undermine &#8216;new military urbanism&#8217;, a term he uses to describe the dominant structure behind current everyday life in the West; Metahaven takes an even broader role for the joke and prank, in its potential power to overthrow governments and topple regimes. And yet both see humour in the militaristic and militarism potential in the humorous. Metahaven aptly reminds us of Monty Python&#8217;s 1969 fantasy of &#8220;joke warfare&#8221; &#8211; military deployment of jokes by opposing armies:</p>
<span class='embed-youtube' style='text-align:center; display: block;'><iframe class='youtube-player' type='text/html' width='640' height='390' src='http://www.youtube.com/embed/LhmnOpoGAPw?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;fs=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;wmode=transparent' frameborder='0'></iframe></span>
<p>Metahaven states very clearly: <em>&#8220;why jokes? And why now? Here&#8217;s why. <strong>Jokes are low budget.</strong> They are among the cheapest goods we all have access to; they don&#8217;t cost anything, and they work. They are austerity-proof. <strong>Jokes, like laughs, are contagious, even if their intention is deadly serious</strong>. Governments the world over are fortifying themselves against their own citizens, and most of all against their jokes. <strong>But jokes easily pass through walls of the fortresses.</strong> The joke is <strong>an open-source weapon of the public</strong>.&#8221; (2013:Section 4: Jokes &#8211; emphasis added by the blog author)</em></p>
<p>Graham, echoes this sentiment when he says: <em>&#8220;subverting militarisation and neoliberalisation through satire is part of a long tradition and offers rich possibilities. Inherently moralising, such interventions are especially successful at exposing the pretensions and absurdities of power and authority.&#8221; (2010:374)</em></p>
<p>I will unpack and write more critically about both of these significant books at a later date, however I raise &#8216;satire and the joke&#8217; here as a potential trajectory to explore further and question what may satire and the joke offer post-conflict architecture (architecture as societal/cultural structure) in Northern Ireland. In a lunchtime seminar held at the Linen Hall Library last year entitled: <a href="http://www.bellylaughsbelfast.com/comedy-and-conflict-laughing-at-our-troubles/">&#8216;Comedy and Conflict: Laughing at our Troubles?&#8217;</a> a group consisting of leading Northern Irish commentators, comedians and journalists gathered to examine and discuss the role of humour in Northern Ireland and its relationship to the conflict. In the brief write up afterwards the festival said the following:</p>
<article>
<p style="padding-left:90px;">&#8220;Although there is extensive literature on the role of comedy and humour in society, as far as I know there have been no studies on the role of comedy and conflict transformation in Northern Ireland, which is perhaps surprising given the anecdotal views voiced by a number of cultural commentators that humour has played an important role in contextualising the Northern Irish conflict.</p>
<p style="padding-left:90px;">For example, Ian S. Kennedy, the former Head of TV in BBC Northern Ireland, described his experience of humour during the ‘Troubles’ as:</p>
<p style="padding-left:90px;"><em>“….every day life goes on, people have survived, and one of the mechanisms they use is humour.  They will laugh, therefore at things that other people would not find in the least bit funny.  And it’s a black humour- if they don’t laugh they are going to cry, as the old cliché says.” {1}</em></p>
<p style="padding-left:90px;">Dixon and Falvey, writing about Irish comedy, have also noted:</p>
<p style="padding-left:90px;"><em>“Humour in Northern Ireland, not unexpectedly for a place that has experienced decades of conflict, pain and terror, tends towards the blacker side of dark.  Tragedy and comedy are close cousins – and the evidence for it is on the streets.”{2}</em></p>
<div id="attachment_448" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 480px"><img class="size-full wp-image-448" alt="Cartoon by Martyn Turner (1998)" src="http://contestedterritories.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/img_1430.jpg?w=470&#038;h=352" width="470" height="352" /><p class="wp-caption-text">Cartoon by Martyn Turner (1998)</p></div>
<p style="padding-left:90px;">There is a view, not surprisingly expressed by local comedians in particular, that we have a unique, sardonic form of humour often delivered in an aggressive, slaggy manner which reflects our experience of conflict.  However, I’m not sure about this as I have found similarities in the comedy output of other post-conflict regions such as South Africa, Bosnia, and Israel/Palestine.</p>
<p style="padding-left:90px;">According to Craig Zelizer (2010), commenting on the wider international dimension of comedy as a tool in peace building:</p>
<p style="padding-left:90px;"><em>“Around the world today, the use of humour can play a critical role in building positive relations or potentially inflaming conflicts. There are countless examples of individuals and groups using jokes and humour in conflict settings as a means for survival.  Comedy can help people cope with the impact of conflict, be used as a tool for building bridges across the conflict divide, or exacerbate conflict by intentionally or unintentionally demonizing others.”{3}</em></p>
<p style="padding-left:90px;">&#8230;Comedy is by no means a panacea for resolving conflicts, however, I would argue that it can play a positive role in a number of contexts and is worthy of exploration in seminars of this nature.  As a member of the audience commented after watching the Israeli-Palestinian Comedy Tour perform in Israel, “Comedy can lighten up dialogue between people who otherwise would not be able to speak in the same way” (Audience 2007).&#8221;1</p>
<div id="attachment_418" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 480px"><img class="size-full wp-image-418" alt="Cartoon by Martyn Turner (1993)" src="http://contestedterritories.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/cartoon-scary-belfast.jpeg?w=470&#038;h=234" width="470" height="234" /><p class="wp-caption-text">Cartoon by Martyn Turner (1993-95)</p></div>
<p>Conflict and sectarianism in Northern Ireland has permeated and affected every level of society, therefore it isn&#8217;t too surprising that the Northern Irish conflict has had an impact and legacy on its comedy. The next question then surely is: can the jokes and humour that helped people get through the most violent times be used to understand and tackle the issues that persist and surround us in so called &#8216;post-conflict&#8217; Northern Ireland? Namely faltering political governance; a province increasingly made up of minorities; the changing role of paramilitarism; perceived alienation from the Loyalist community, increasing gaps in socio-economic inequality and impending public sector cuts. (Nolan, 2013) I would like to think so&#8230;</p>
<p>It is clear that jokes can divide as well as unite, depending on who or what is being made fun of or poked, but most importantly jokes don&#8217;t make people laugh by sitting on the fence &#8211; unless the fence is a peacewall and then sitting on top of it might provoke an emotion or two. Jokes can be disarmingly effective to reveal the connections and differences between us all &#8211; often created out of shared and common experience, humour can expose our anxieties and awkwardness around a subject. Jokes can be contagiously epidemic; enough to agitate protest, disrupt habits and lead change of the status quo. Jokes hold unforetold power. So what may the joke(s) for post-conflict architecture be? and how many &#8216;architects&#8217; does it take to change its architecture?</p>
<p><strong>References</strong></p>
<p>1. <a href="http://www.bellylaughsbelfast.com/comedy-and-conflict-laughing-away-our-troubles/" rel="nofollow">http://www.bellylaughsbelfast.com/comedy-and-conflict-laughing-away-our-troubles/</a> [accessed 12/02/13] &#8211; references contained within:</p>
<p style="padding-left:30px;">1. Quoted in Dixon. Stephen and Falvey, Deirdre (2009). “The Gift of the Gag – the Explosion in Irish Comedy”. Blackstaff Press, Belfast. p220.</p>
<p style="padding-left:30px;">2.  Dixon. Stephen and Falvey, Deirdre (2009). “The Gift of the Gag – the Explosion in Irish Comedy”. Blackstaff Press, Belfast. p220.</p>
<p style="padding-left:30px;">3. Zelizer, Craig (2010). “Laughing our Way to Peace or War: Humour and Peacebuilding”.Journal of Conflictology. Vol. 1, Iss. 2. Campus for Peace, UOC.</p>
<p>2. Nolan, P. (2013) The Northern Ireland Peace Monitoring Report, Number Two, Community Relations Council [released 10th April 2013]</p>
<p>3. Turner, M. 1998, <i>Brace yourself, bridge it! :a guide to Irish political relationships, 1996-1998, </i>Blackstaff Press in association with Irish Times Books, Belfast.</p>
<p>4. Turner, M. 1995, <i>Pack Up Your Troubles: 25 Years of Northern Ireland Cartoons, </i>Blackstaff Press in association with Irish Times Books, Belfast.</p>
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<title><![CDATA[Advice to my son - Isaacola AA]]></title>
<link>http://isaacolanewnaija.com/2013/04/11/advice-to-my-son-isaacola-aa/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 11 Apr 2013 18:15:16 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Isaacola AA</dc:creator>
<guid>http://isaacolanewnaija.com/2013/04/11/advice-to-my-son-isaacola-aa/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Honesty, they say is the best policy but to you my son, NEVER! That maxim is unacceptable, impractic]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Honesty, they say is the best policy but to you my son, NEVER! That maxim is unacceptable, impractic]]></content:encoded>
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<title><![CDATA[The Eternal Eatery]]></title>
<link>http://creamofconsciousness.com/2013/04/10/the-eternal-eatery/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 10 Apr 2013 08:00:54 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Erik Dobko</dc:creator>
<guid>http://creamofconsciousness.com/2013/04/10/the-eternal-eatery/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[As I got dressed for dinner, I reflected on the legends that I’d heard about this restaurant. Anthon]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>As I got dressed for dinner, I reflected on the legends that I’d heard about this restaurant. Anthony Bourdain hailed it as one of the best eateries in San Diego. Guy Fieri described the aromas that lingered inside it as a reason for one to live life. It has even been said that Martha Stewart had received her foundational kitchen apprenticeship at this place when she was in her early 20s. With a curious combination of both desire and apprehension, I strutted through the front door to begin what would likely be the most significant restaurant review of my life.</p>
<p>Upon entering, I was surprised to find but only a single table. I couldn’t help but think that surely a restaurant with 4.9 stars on Yelp would have seating for at least more than a single party. But perhaps that’s just how they’ve managed to produce such a high demand for their culinary delights. So I resolved to leave any past pressures on the coat rack, take a seat in one of the four mahogany chairs and enjoy dinner without reservations.</p>
<p>As I waited for the service to acknowledge my arrival, the ambience left me stupefied. Words such as luxurious, avant-garde, flamboyant and posh came to mind right away—but not as words to describe the environment, but rather descriptions that the restaurant had seemed to evade completely. While it was somewhat, well … homely, I couldn’t help but wonder if the cleaning crew was on leave for vacation or simply a tornado had swept through the room.</p>
<p>A variety of unlikely objects were scattered throughout: a stack of envelopes, old clothes, surfboards, bicycles, and what appeared to be a spear gun. And where my past experiences at restaurants dictate a placemat should be, I found nothing but a small pile of sand. It struck me that maybe this was just another one of those eccentric dining experiments for the eater wearisome of routine, but my skepticism was coming to surface nonetheless.</p>
<p>With the hopes that the food quality might serve as an antidote for my growing disenchantment with this restaurant, I diverted my attention from the strange atmosphere and resolved to hold off on any potential cynicism until I had gotten what I came here for—the food. And so, I waited for the service to come. And then I waited some more.</p>
<p>Forty-five minutes had passed and yet I had not even been given a glass of water, let alone a menu. The only help I had received so far was from the weevils cleaning up old grains of rice off the floor. The sands of time were moving just about as fast as that off-putting pile that still sat in front of me, and I was getting quite tired of waiting. Unable to take it any longer, I rose up from out of my seat to see what was the hold-up and stormed into the kitchen. But when I got there, I discovered something even more disturbing than the lack of customer appeasement.</p>
<p>I took cautious steps across the old battleground of a war waged by green onions and egg shells. The pungent aroma of whiskey and over-fermented kombucha assailed my nasal canals. A sink flooded with unwashed dishes encrusted with old seafood devastated my senses. All of the ceiling lights had burnt out, except for one that was flickering—much like my courage to remain in this distasteful restaurant. And most unsettling of all … there was not a soul in sight.</p>
<p>Where were the employees? Where were the chefs? Where was the owner? I had entered into what appeared—but wait … no … it couldn’t be. Not … the diner of death!</p>
<p>Trapped in food critic purgatory, I could not escape. I had been warned by my colleagues, but I naïvely disregarded their forebodings of the future. My restaurant reviews had not pleased the gods, and I had thus been vanquished to an afterlife of infinite digestive peril. Within these four walls I would be fated to spend eternity, imprisoned in the culinary void—the really, really bad restaurant of pseudo-existence.</p>
<p>As the sound of eating lousy food forevermore amplified within my mind like an endless feedback loop, suddenly the front door burst open.</p>
<p>“Satan, is that you?”</p>
<p>The silhouette grew as it entered the room and walked towards me. With raised hand, it slapped me across the face.</p>
<p>“Dobko, what the hell is wrong with you. Seriously…”</p>
<p>It was my roommate. I had not even left home.</p>
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<title><![CDATA[How To Determine The Blogger's Line Of Work From The Blog They Write]]></title>
<link>http://armyofawesomepeople.com/2013/04/10/how-to-determine-the-bloggers-line-of-work-from-the-blog-they-write/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 10 Apr 2013 04:01:15 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>List of X</dc:creator>
<guid>http://armyofawesomepeople.com/2013/04/10/how-to-determine-the-bloggers-line-of-work-from-the-blog-they-write/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Dual monitors: perfect for working and writing a blog at the same time. Many people who write blogs]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Dual monitors: perfect for working and writing a blog at the same time. Many people who write blogs]]></content:encoded>
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<title><![CDATA[Misinformed Reviews #4: The Knifes - Milkshaking the Habitual]]></title>
<link>http://myeffinlife.wordpress.com/2013/04/09/misinformed-reviews-4-the-knifes-milkshaking-the-habitual/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 10 Apr 2013 02:45:04 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Dusty</dc:creator>
<guid>http://myeffinlife.wordpress.com/2013/04/09/misinformed-reviews-4-the-knifes-milkshaking-the-habitual/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Swedish duo The Knifes are back and more fun than ever! Grab your sunscreen because your gonna wanna]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://myeffinlife.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/the-knifes.jpg"><img class="aligncenter  wp-image-395" alt="The Knifes - Milkshaking the Habitual" src="http://myeffinlife.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/the-knifes.jpg?w=456&#038;h=456" width="456" height="456" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align:center;">
<p style="text-align:left;">Swedish duo The Knifes are back and more fun than ever! Grab your sunscreen because your gonna wanna be blasting this one while on the beach or cruisin in your Corvette convertible on the way to the mall.</p>
<p style="text-align:left;">The Knifes members are siblings (see also: The Proclaimers, Nelson, Mackymore &#38; Paul Ryan, etc.). And like most cool European brothers and sisters, they like to party. This album comes off of the critical acclaim of Karin&#8217;s 2009 solo record &#8220;Sugar Ray.&#8221; So there was a lot of expectations with this album. The Knifes ended up creating this incredible concept record: &#8220;Milkshaking the Habitual.&#8221;</p>
<p style="text-align:left;">The album title is obviously an obscure reference to Kelis&#8217; underground hit &#8220;Milkshake&#8221; &#8211; whom The Knifes have always cited as an influence. It shows on this album. The title is also a clear indicator of the style they&#8217;re going for. The songs are sugary sweet and creamy, just like a milkshake (YUM!). The tracklist is an onslaught of short and simple pop songs. Move over T. Swift, bcuz tha Knifes are here and you&#8217;re in <strong><em>TROUBLE</em></strong>.</p>
<p style="text-align:left;">Songs like &#8220;A Tooth for An Eye Candy&#8221; are reminiscent of Britney Spears&#8217; &#8220;E-mail My Heart.&#8221; Hovering above all the cutesy crush canoodling is some higher thinking though. You could say that the album is tribute to decadence and commercialism. Think Kanye West but BIGGER. These swedes LOVE money and they&#8217;re not afraid to talk about it. Whether they&#8217;re name dropping name brands (like Marc Jacobs&#8217; new &#8220;Fracking Fluid&#8221; line) or fashionable trends (like gender equality, so fetch) they are up on every that glitz. The Knifes <em>love</em> money and they simply <em>cannot</em> get enough of it. They just want more and more. The Knife portrays themselves as the capitalist dream realized and they are livin&#8217; it up. Don&#8217;t worry about other things in life. If you&#8217;ve got money it&#8217;s alllllll goooood, they&#8217;d say.</p>
<p style="text-align:left;">Karin swoons with her hush baby-doll vocals on &#8220;Full of Flower.&#8221; She serenades &#8220;Sometimes I get problems that are hard to solve *giggle* what&#8217;s your story?&#8221; over a chip-tune beat. Then her brother Olof comes in at the end with his super strong, powerful masculine vocals &#8220;lets talk about you and me.&#8221; It&#8217;s super cute how it shows a boy pursuing a girl as she waits patiently for him as she should. &#8220;Old Dreamz Waitin&#8217; 2 Cum True&#8221; is the obvz club banger here, though I think they could&#8217;ve added another verse or something. It goes by really fast. Can&#8217;t wait to hear &#8220;Raging Lung&#8221; at high school dances and wedding receptions this year.</p>
<p style="text-align:left;">In the spirit of the album, I&#8217;m going to give it $999,999 out of $1,000,000 (I only left out $1 to keep them motivated to make more &#8211; free market baby!!!). All in all, this is The Knifes most accessible work to date. It&#8217;s fun, spunky, and just a good time waiting to happen.</p>
<p style="text-align:left;">xOxO ~*~ThE kNiF3s 4LyFe~*~</p>
<p><em>Previous Misinformed Review: <a href="http://myeffinlife.wordpress.com/2013/02/03/misinformed-reviewsmy-bloody-valletime-m-p-3/">My Bloody Valentino &#8211; m p 3</a></em></p>
<p><em>Follow me on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/DustyEffinHenry">@DustyEffinHenry</a></em></p>
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<title><![CDATA[Korean tyrant buys world domination plan from US defense firm]]></title>
<link>http://mbalton.wordpress.com/2013/04/09/korean-tyrant-buys-world-domination-plan-from-us-defense-firm/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 09 Apr 2013 16:07:10 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>michaelbalton</dc:creator>
<guid>http://mbalton.wordpress.com/2013/04/09/korean-tyrant-buys-world-domination-plan-from-us-defense-firm/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Pyongyang, North Korea &#8212; Spring is the season when a young man’s fancy turns toward world domi]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Pyongyang, North Korea &#8212; Spring is the season when a young man’s fancy turns toward world domination. And so it goes with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, who recently purchased a blueprint to take over the world from an unnamed US defense contractor.</p>
<p>Driving the plan is this year-long schedule of recommended actions by Kim Jong Un:</p>
<p>April &#8211; Make last payment on nuclear enrichment equipment. Thank the Germans for the technology and for throwing in the complimentary “concentration” ca</p>
<div id="attachment_841" class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 160px"><a href="http://mbalton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/27107-1508globe.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-841" alt="The whole world in his hands?" src="http://mbalton.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/27107-1508globe.jpg?w=150&#038;h=200" width="150" height="200" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">The whole world in his hands?</p></div>
<p>mping gear.</p>
<p>May &#8211; Call 1-800 BOOM/BLOOMS. Order a Mother’s Day  “Surprise Bouquet” for every Japanese MILF on your mailing list. Nuke Tokyo.</p>
<p>June &#8211; Find a new barber. Return the old one to Trump.</p>
<p>July -  Call Jenny Craig to find out how she gets away with starving thousands of people over long periods of time. Nuke Los Angeles.</p>
<p>August &#8211; Rent the James Bond film “Goldfinger” again. Watch for pointers on how to corner the gold market.  Corner the gold market.</p>
<p>September &#8211; Reignite the Korean War. Fund it by creating a reality television show that follows an American medical unit working on the front lines. The show ends when a clerical error by Radar O’Reilly reveals that the South Koreans don’t have health insurance.</p>
<p>October -  Sign up the entire population of North Korea to appear in the next Weight Watchers™ commercial.  Nuke McDonald’s.</p>
<p>November -  Lighten up  your image. Turn North Korea’s green tea industry into a 7-Up bottling franchise so you can walk around as the Uncola Guy.</p>
<p>December &#8211; Hire New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg and his police force to stop and frisk South Korea. Nuke Rosetta Stone before Bloomberg has a chance to give new meaning to the phrase &#8220;tortured Korean.&#8221;</p>
<p>January &#8211; There can only be one Kim Jong Un. File a lawsuit against the UN for appropriating your name. Upon settlement, nuke the UN.</p>
<p>February &#8211; Outlaw Valentine’s Day, love, marriage and fornication. That should open more dating opportunities for you.</p>
<p>March &#8211; This month’s name says it all. March into South Korea and take over its factories, transportation facilities and valuable labor force. From this foothold, begin picking off additional countries until you have dominated the entire world. It’s like playing Risk™, but with less rules.</p>
<p>A spokesman for the US defense contractor that provided the plan denied its own existence, and offered its assurance that a former vice president of the United States is not involved.</p>
<p>The defense firm did however offer to support the blueprint’s recommendations with materials, weaponry and lies “for the right price.”</p>
<p>“Our resume reflects long and profitable operations in Vietnam, Iraq, Iran, and Afghanistan.  Detecting weapons of mass destruction and hunting “accidents” are our specialties. Shipping and handling not included.”</p>
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<title><![CDATA[Truth in Advertising]]></title>
<link>http://turdpolishertv.wordpress.com/2013/04/09/truth-in-advertising/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 09 Apr 2013 11:36:32 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>turdpolishertv</dc:creator>
<guid>http://turdpolishertv.wordpress.com/2013/04/09/truth-in-advertising/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Have you looked for a job in television lately? Someone changed all the positions! No longer are the]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://turdpolishertv.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/canonical-ubuntu-help-wanted.gif"><img class="size-full wp-image-856 alignleft" alt="canonical-ubuntu-help-wanted" src="http://turdpolishertv.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/canonical-ubuntu-help-wanted.gif?w=252&#038;h=215" width="252" height="215" /></a>Have you looked for a job in television lately? Someone changed all the positions! No longer are there reporters and photographers, producers or assignment managers, the whole freeking news business has lost it&#8217;s mind while I wasn&#8217;t looking.</p>
<p>Managers and HR professionals, in an effort to lure unsuspecting neophytes into this crazy industry have re-named many of the time-honored positions to make them more hip for the younger generation. And the job descriptions? Sheesh.</p>
<p>We here at turdpolishertv find this trend disturbing and, though we have not been able to abolish the new titles, we have been able to amend the job descriptions to something a little more truthful.</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://turdpolishertv.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/2012-03-20-09-29-37.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-851" alt="SAMSUNG" src="http://turdpolishertv.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/2012-03-20-09-29-37.jpg?w=300&#038;h=225" width="300" height="225" /></a>Content Center Coordinator:</strong> This sounds fancy enough. Maybe you&#8217;ll be the master of your own domain, dispatching intelligence to and fro from your vast information center. The only thing a CCC dispatches are worker bees. This is a thankless vocation chained to a desk with scanners blaring in one ear, and everyone else bitching in the other. A horrid existence balancing the needs of prima donna reporters who won&#8217;t work with certain photogs and photogs who won&#8217;t work at all with those of know-nothing producers who want it all. Answering phones. Sending emails. Presiding over meetings about meetings. Refereeing hissy-fits. Wiping asses. Kissing asses. And placating assholes.</p>
<p><img class="size-medium wp-image-850 alignleft" style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;cursor:default;float:left;display:inline;max-width:100%;height:auto;border-width:0;margin:4px 24px 12px 0;" alt="100_5768" src="http://turdpolishertv.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/100_5768.jpg?w=300&#038;h=225" width="300" height="225" /></p>
<p style="font-size:16px;margin-bottom:24px;"><strong>Digital Visual Content Collection Tech: </strong>Photog? Peshaw! Shooters were back in the Stone Age. In the digital era, managers would have you believe the smelly guy in cabanawear is an IT guru. Actually that guy smells like a pack mule because he is one. Be ready to schlepp half-a-ton of gear through exciting locales like sewer plants, fertilizer factories, and the fabulous ghettos of the Serengeti. You&#8217;ll learn to walk backwards, dodge flying phlegm, and drive at high rates of speed while texting with one hand, eating with the other all while flipping off the old lady in the slow lane and steering with you knees. But be careful, your chariot has logos and someone is bound to notice.</p>
<p style="font-size:16px;margin-bottom:24px;"><a href="http://turdpolishertv.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/news-reporter.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-852" alt="News-Reporter" src="http://turdpolishertv.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/news-reporter.jpg?w=300&#038;h=180" width="300" height="180" /></a><strong style="color:#000000;font-weight:bold;">Purveyor of Information: </strong>In another time, you may have been a reporter, digging for facts, and asking tough questions. These days, it&#8217;s more important to get the information fast. Forget about finding the truth. Just parrot what the gasbag in the overpriced suit just told you on your twitter, facebook, instagram, linked in accounts, then, don&#8217;t forget about the station&#8217;s matching accounts. And don&#8217;t forget to let the guys back at the station know about it too. They&#8217;re way too busy making work for you to actually follow any of those sites.</p>
<p style="font-size:16px;margin-bottom:24px;"><strong style="color:#000000;font-weight:bold;"><a href="http://turdpolishertv.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/contact-us-anchorman-quotes.jpg"><img class=" wp-image-853 alignleft" alt="Contact-us-anchorman-quotes" src="http://turdpolishertv.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/contact-us-anchorman-quotes.jpg?w=300&#038;h=254" width="300" height="254" /></a>Content Repurposer: </strong>This is where the HR guys screwed the pooch. You&#8217;d think they could have found a better title for the most important job in the newsroom. Alas, while trying to invent something new and digital for stacker, they landed a little too close to the truth. No longer do stackers just stack. And while it is true they generate little content themselves, they take all those tweets and pics and blurbs and statuses, then reconfigure them into something fit for the web. You know the web. It&#8217;s that vast array of tubes and wires Al Gore put together before he became Climatologist Emeritus. Stations continue to use CRs to push all their information through the interwebs, but have yet to learn how to monetize so that maybe one day HR can get interns to do all this for free.</p>
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<title><![CDATA[Undercover Operation (V2)]]></title>
<link>http://thehistoricalnerds.com/2013/04/09/undercover-operation-v2/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 09 Apr 2013 06:07:47 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>nhossan</dc:creator>
<guid>http://thehistoricalnerds.com/2013/04/09/undercover-operation-v2/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[By Nick Hossan Hey guys, I did a re-edit on Undercover Operation. I hope that it is just as good or]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>By Nick Hossan</p>
<p>Hey guys, I did a re-edit on Undercover Operation. I hope that it is just as good or better than the first.</p>
<div id="v-eTfUt357-1" class="video-player" style="width:400px;height:224px">
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<div class="videopress-title" style="display:inline;position:absolute;margin: 20px 20px 0 20px;padding: 4px 8px;vertical-align: top;text-align:left;left: 0" dir="ltr" lang="en"><span style="padding:3px 0;line-height:1.5em;background-color:rgba(0,0,0,0.8);color: rgb(255, 255, 255)">Undercover Operation (V2)</span></div><img class="videopress-poster" alt="Undercover Operation (V2)" title="Watch: Undercover Operation (V2)" src="http://i2.wp.com/videos.videopress.com/eTfUt357/undercover-operation-v2_dvd.original.jpg" width="400" height="224" style="margin:0;padding:0;border:0" />
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<title><![CDATA[What is Not Funny: Using Surveys in Teaching Humor]]></title>
<link>http://humorinamerica.wordpress.com/2013/04/08/what-is-not-funny-using-surveys-to-teach-humor/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 08 Apr 2013 07:55:28 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Jeffrey Melton</dc:creator>
<guid>http://humorinamerica.wordpress.com/2013/04/08/what-is-not-funny-using-surveys-to-teach-humor/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Teaching American Humor It’s just a joke. I was only joking. Can’t you take a joke? In an earlier po]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Teaching American Humor</p>
<p>It’s just a joke. I was only joking. Can’t you take a joke?</p>
<p>In an earlier post, I discussed how I have used opinion surveys as a way for students to examine their own tastes in humor and as a way to introduce humor as a vibrant and crucial component of American culture.  In the first part of the surveys, students name their favorite films and television shows and classify their tastes. I have found it is a useful way to establish a context for discussion of theoretical concepts in humor while also getting students to open up about their expectations for the course. Here is a link to that post, &#8220;<a href="http://humorinamerica.wordpress.com/2013/02/04/what-is-funny-using-surveys-in-teaching-humor/">What is Funny: Using Surveys in Teaching Humor</a>&#8220;.</p>
<p>In the second part of the survey, students must address the potential complications to their enjoyment of humor. What if the person next to them not only doesn’t share their sense of humor but finds it offensive? When is a joke not a joke but an attack? And even if that “joke” is a veiled attack, should it be silenced? These are complicated issues and demand much more space (and brain power) than I can offer here, but no class on humor can rightly avoid the ever-present tension concerning differing opinions on what <i>is</i> and what <i>is not</i> funny.</p>
<p>Steve Brykman recently posted an excellent discussion concerning social and political challenges inherent in this issue. The underlying violence associated with much of American humor becomes especially troublesome when the humor concerns political figures, in particular the President of the United States. The post, “Is a Joke a Joke?,” can provide an astute and perfectly concise introduction for students who must consider the potential power of humor not only to the change the world but also blow it up. A joke can be provocative, but what if it is more accurately described as incendiary speech? Here is a link to <a href="http://humorinamerica.wordpress.com/2013/04/04/is-a-joke-a-joke/">Steve’s post</a>.</p>
<p>As a way to force a potentially tense discussion, I use the survey to ask students to address this issue so that initially they can provide comments anonymously.  They must answer the following two paired questions. In each case, I provide a list, but they are also encouraged to add items if they see fit to do so:</p>
<p><b>1. What subject matter is off-limits for humor with you personally if someone is kidding with you? (Circle as many, or as few, as you wish)</b></p>
<p>Your mother</p>
<p>Your religion</p>
<p>Your gender</p>
<p>Your race</p>
<p>Your sexual orientation</p>
<p>Your body (height, weight, etc.)</p>
<p>Your disabilities or challenges</p>
<p><b>2.  What subject matter is off-limits for humor socially when the audience is public? (Circle as many, or as few, as you wish)</b></p>
<p>mothers</p>
<p>religions</p>
<p>genders</p>
<p>races</p>
<p>sexual orientations</p>
<p>bodies (height, weight, etc.)</p>
<p>disabilities or challenges</p>
<p>deaths and/or tragedies affecting real people</p>
<p><!--more--></p>
<p>The responses to these questions vary slightly, but I can assert without hesitation that students consistently are willing to accept more critical humor directed at them than they are willing to allow in with a public audience. The key, of course, is that their “friends” can tease them without much concern for alienation. Generally, most students do not place limits on jokes that may be at their expense. There are exceptions. Students who are in distinct minorities in any given classroom are more tentative because they know, more so than “mainstream” students that the personal and political lines are often blurred. And this is the rub of such an introductory discussion. We are all willing to take personal “attacks” via humor if we feel safe with the person who offers the joke. That is a complicated dynamic when placed in the public sphere. And, of course, they are related.</p>
<p>I do not discuss the answers to this first question in the classroom beyond a general overview, though I encourage students to talk with me at any point about such issues. The fact is that, although the answers are provided anonymously, I have found that so few students place limits on personal jokes that it is wise to infer that they have endured unpleasant jokes personally based most often on religion, race, sexual orientation, bodies, and/or disabilities. Gender, as the only other demographic category, is largely free from problems of this sort since the numbers are generally equal for males and females in the classroom, thus providing secure anonymity (I am not saying that gender is free from problems). The only non-demographic issue of concern for this discussion is “bodies,” which can present the same level of discomfort as the items mentioned above. The fact is that any discussion of <i>specific</i> answers to this question could reveal individual student&#8217;s answers and thus compromise the goals of the discussion.</p>
<p>The broader point is that the personal is political&#8211;nothing too surprising there&#8211;and that humor weaves through the perilous fabric of our culture by exploiting our personal frailties and vulnerabilities as well as our cultural sins and failures. Funny, eh? (Even as a type this, I cringe, noting yet again that in the first week of a class that promises to be filled with the joy of laughter&#8211;rightfully so&#8211;I also imply that they will rarely be able to fully enjoy any of it and must always be mindful of the sorrow of laughter, too. No wonder students get tired of academics, but I digress…)</p>
<p>The second question is the one we discuss at length in the classroom. In the most recent section of a popular humor course, the survey produced these responses, which are in line with those of previous sections. “What subject matter is off limits with a public audience?”:</p>
<p>Mothers     6</p>
<p>Religion     15</p>
<p>Gender        3</p>
<p>Race            11</p>
<p>Sexual Orientation         11</p>
<p>Bodies          8</p>
<p>Death/Tragedy          27</p>
<p>Disability           8</p>
<p>The numbers are larger in the “public” question than the “private” one, with the exception of  “gender”&#8211;for reasons that I think are made clear is the discussion above. Those who may have had specific individual concerns were not joined by other students, most of whom felt no threat in a room balanced regarding gender. The other items, which are more deeply troubled historically by the personal/political dynamic, earned strong responses from the students on the whole. The results show a broad awareness among students to the trouble spots in American culture and, moreover, a willingness to acknowledge those spots as valid points of potential limits on the use of humor publically. Based on the discussions over the years, those respondents who do not join in this acknowledgement do so from a strong devotion to “freedom of speech” and beleive that &#8220;anything goes&#8221; with humor. No doubt some of them are being reactionary to cultural debates, but most, I believe, have consistent attitudes on speech issues.</p>
<p>The only consensus point is in response to death and tragedy, though a few of the stalwart free speech advocates held on there, too. I am not exactly sure about that one other than to note that the permanence tied to death exceeds all other fears. Most of us agree that there must be a time of mourning free from laughter. The arguments along those lines are fought out around time&#8211;how long to wait&#8211;rather than arguing about whether humor may return.</p>
<p>In any case, I hasten to add that our class discussions do not resolve anything. Nor do we need to. Our task in studying American humor is to recognize the complexity of the art of humor and the world it responds to and continually remakes. And we also need to laugh from time to time.</p>
<p>The third question in the survey asks a seemingly unrelated question:</p>
<p><b>3. Do you use humor in social interactions?</b><b> </b></p>
<p>Often              33</p>
<p>Sometimes     2</p>
<p>Rarely             0</p>
<p>Never              0</p>
<p>They all use humor. And so do the rest of us. Given the complexity of humor and how it works personally and politically in American culture, one thing is certain: when we tell a joke, we are engaging in risky behavior.  And that applies to students, to teachers as they stand in front of the classrooms, and to anybody who ever jokes about someone&#8217;s mother.</p>
<p>(c) 2013, Jeffrey Melton</p>
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<title><![CDATA[How to Learn to Love the March of Jackboots or… Hear Music Instead]]></title>
<link>http://wendyedavis.net/2013/04/07/how-to-learn-to-love-the-march-of-jackboots-or-hear-music-instead/</link>
<pubDate>Sun, 07 Apr 2013 21:41:57 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>wendyedavis</dc:creator>
<guid>http://wendyedavis.net/2013/04/07/how-to-learn-to-love-the-march-of-jackboots-or-hear-music-instead/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[It was a dark and stormy night-before-last, and I’d headed downtown to the Librul Latte Internet Caf]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://wendyedavis.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/upending_trendsjournal_acmeilloz_thumb.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-173 alignright" alt="Upending_TrendsJournal_AcmeIlloz_THUMB" src="http://wendyedavis.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/upending_trendsjournal_acmeilloz_thumb.jpg?w=122&#038;h=122" width="122" height="122" /></a>It was a dark and stormy night-before-last, and I’d headed downtown to the Librul Latte Internet Café in Bumfuck, Colorado seeking the warmth and security of the ambient glow of laptop screens.  Early that morning, a friend had emailed me a <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/03/sunday-review/the-holocaust-just-got-more-shocking.html?hp&#38;_r=0"><em>NY Times </em></a>piece about the staggering new compilation of Third Reich holocaust ghettos and camps completed by the Holocaust Museum over the past ten years, some 42,500 across Europe.  At the end of the piece, one of the researchers was quoted about his virtual certainty that, given their ubiquity, citizens had to have known about the camps.</p>
<p><!--more-->Musing about that inevitably led to the dual questions: ‘Can it happen here?’ and if so, ‘How many Americans would claim not to have known?’  Within the hour, we had swapped a couple links that served to raise our alarm levels even further than they’d been previously due to the NDAA and its pre-emptive indefinite detentions of American citizens clauses.</p>
<p>As I was feverishly searching for more evidence of security state onslaughts on our civil rights online, my erstwhile friend Paul. E. Ahna sat down, and asked what was cooking.  During the Bush years, we’d shared a fairly simpatico political view, but had over the past four years found it hard to be not only on the same page, but even <em>in the same goddam book.</em>  But, knowing that sometimes a piece of news can change a mind, and also being a Very Silly Woman, I hipped him to my concerns, reckoning I’d ease my way into my discoveries…</p>
<p>‘What the fuck, Paul E.; have you seen this Cnet piece concerning the new Homeland Security memo on retro-fitting Predator drones for domestic use?  They’re being equipped with technology that can track and monitor cell locations and conversations, and can even fucking tell if their ‘target’ is armed or not!’</p>
<p>With a bemused smile, my friend advised me, ‘Simmer down, now, <em>wendydavis</em>; surely you know that Congress will pass Lofgren and Poe’s privacy bill, and DHS will have to get a warrant before doing any of that shit.  Ha!  And anyway,  if you’re not guilty of anything, why worry?  What, you want to give terrorists and illegals sneaking over the border some kind of free pass or something?  We need to be vigilant, don’t we? And anyway, the FAA will address privacy concerns soon, you can take that to the bank!’</p>
<p>‘Hell’s bells, <em>amigo</em>, do you really imagine that’s gonna stop it all, even if their<a href="http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/113/hr637"> ‘Privacy’ bill</a> did by some miracle pass?  Oh, yeah; they go for a warrant after the fact if at all.’</p>
<p>‘Well, I happen to know that the Lofgren-Poe bill says that State laws on the use of Unmanned Aerial Systems (UAS) in the airspace of the state can’t be preempted, and that neither private nor law enforcement drones can be equipped with firearms or explosives in U.S.  You really are starting to seem a bit paranoid lately, my friend.’ Warned Paul E.</p>
<p>Wondering if my communication might be sounding a bit too strident, I urged myself to take a few deep, cleansing breaths to calm myself  and gear down my voice.  A fragment of an ‘ohhhmmm’ may have slid out on my last exhale, but never mind.</p>
<p>‘What you may not be aware of, Paul E. is that through a FOIA request, the folks at the Electronic Privacy Information Center had obtained a <a href="http://epic.org/2013/02/epic-foia---us-drones-intercep.html">redacted</a> copy of a memo about all this from the Bureau of Customs and Border Protection, and later ‘unearthed’ (read: were leaked?) an <em><a href="http://politechbot.com/docs/dhs.uav.drone.specification.030113.html">unredacted</a> copy</em>.  Here; let me boot up the CNet piece and read you a couple bits:</p>
<blockquote>
<div>
<p><em>‘</em><em><strong>The documents show that CBP specified that the “tracking accuracy should be sufficient to allow target designation,” and the agency <a href="http://www.cbp.gov/xp/cgov/border_security/am/operations/oam_vessels/aircraft/uas/uas_archive/predator_arcrft.xml">notes</a> on its Web site that its Predator B series is capable of “targeting and weapons delivery”</strong> (the military version carries multiple 100-pound Hellfire missiles). CBP says, however, that its Predator aircraft are unarmed. </em></p>
<p><em>Gene Hoffman, a Silicon Valley entrepreneur who’s the chairman of the Calguns Foundation, said CBP “needs to be very careful with attempts to identify armed individuals in the border area” when aerial surveillance touches on a constitutional right. </em></p>
<p><em>“In the border area of California and Arizona, it may be actively dangerous for the law-abiding to not carry firearms precisely due to the illegal flow of drugs and immigrants across the border in those areas,” Hoffman says. </em></p>
</div>
</blockquote>
<p>‘My, my; we are excited today, aren’t we?  See?  They’re unarmed.  And if they arm them, I’m sure if you read further you’d see it’s just about killing dangerous animals or something.  Like those escaped from zoos or something.  And mainly they’re likely used just for border patrol as they’re saying.’</p>
<p>‘Sure, or when fucking ‘austerity’ cuts kick in, and food, gas, and heating oil prices spike again, and mass numbers of us get out on the street, that point where so many reckon, ‘there’s nothing left to lose’, eh?  And they fire on <em>US</em> like we’re those same escaped wild animals!’</p>
<p>Some bright movement caught my eye, and my old nemesis T. Pardee, sporting his tri-cornered tinfoil hat sat down, and said that he couldn’t help but overhear some of conversation.  Once upon a time, he’d been an old-style Libertarian, but in the current political atmosphere of Dipstick County, Colorado, he’d become a little unpredictable as to where he’d come down on a particular issue.  I’d long noticed how the old hard-right and the old hard-left used to meet on a few issues.  So, I wasn’t totally shocked when he advised me to google ‘ACLU’ and ‘Constitution-free zone’.  Did it, got the link, but it crashed my crap Internet Explorer three times.  Pasted it into my Firefox, and I read aloud <a href="http://www.aclu.org/know-your-rights-constitution-free-zone-map">some of it:</a></p>
<blockquote>
<div>
<p><strong><em>Did you know that over 200 million Americans live in a Constitution Free Zone? This is a zone that according to the ACLU, seems to be legally exempt from providing you with your Constitutional rights and specifically violates the 4th and 5th Amendments of the Constitution. </em></strong></p>
<p><em>According to the Government and the Border Patrol, jurisdiction of the border patrol is within 100 miles of any border, effectively claiming 2 out of every 3 Americans as a resident within their jurisdiction. These boundaries or “jurisdiction” create <a href="http://www.aclu.org/technology-and-liberty/fact-sheet-us-constitution-free-zone">what is defined by the ACLU, as the Constitutional Free Zone</a>, where your fourth amendment right against unreasonable search and seizure, and your fifth amendment right to a fair trial and being innocent until proven guilty by a jury seem to just become void.</em></p>
</div>
</blockquote>
<p>Of course I told T. Pardee about the CBP memo, and he duly flipped his tri-corner, we gargled on a bit in fury and outrage about the massive police state, the sound of jackboots on the march in the US; you know, radical shit like that.</p>
<p><em></em>At length, my good buddy Paul E. Ahna stood to go, and left us with some good advice.</p>
<p>‘You know, you two are forgetting something.  This is all being done under a Democratic administration.  I’m sure I don’t have to remind you that it’s always been The Party of The People, and all this stuff is simply for your safety and mine.  Now, knowing that you’re both suffering some unwarranted angst and delusions (okay, paranoid reactions) about all this, <em>please, please, go and see your physicians!  </em>I was feeling a little uncomfortable back in ’09 or ’10, and my doc gave me some Paxill, Valium, Lunesta, a bit of Lithium now and again. I sleep like a baby now, and my outlook is <em>decidedly</em> more cheerful.  I almost always look on the bright side of life now!’</p>
<p><!--YouTube Error: bad URL entered--></p>
<p><em>(this video was brought to you courtesy of BigPharma)</em></p>
<p><em>[Because it’s important, a bit of FYI: The interactive 'Constitutional-free map link and page about the rights you have as an American citizen won’t boot up today; nor will my original ACLU link on either of my browsers.  I googled the terms again, thinking other sites may have picked it up; <a href="http://livingnotsurviving.com/2011/11/07/constitution-free-zone-engulfs-two-hundred-million-americans">I found one</a>, but it’s ACLU link won’t boot either.  I find that odd and a half; maybe I should ask T. Pardee for his hat-maker’s address.</em></p>
<p><em>Luckily, when the Liberty Underground Newsletter came in this morning, Jack Balkwill had more on the subject, and said:</em></p>
<p><em>‘Even though so-called "border checkpoints" can now by law be within 100 miles of any U.S. border, you can still get away with exercising your rights, or at least enough to convince security goons that you still have some. <strong>The law says that a border guard (again, this could be 100 miles from any border) can ask you only one thing without probable cause: "Are you a U.S. citizen?" That's it. You may choose not to answer, which <a title="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&#38;v=u4Ku17CqdZg" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&#38;v=u4Ku17CqdZg">these righteous people</a> did, or you may choose to say "yes." After that, by law they must let you go on your way.</strong></em></p>
<p><em>He is not an attorney, although I assume he'd copied that from the ACLU's website, so google ‘ACLU’ and ‘border checkpoints rights’; I hope something boots for you.  This is all bullshit, and I wish I thought I could be as brave as the guys in the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&#38;v=u4Ku17CqdZg">video link</a>.]</em></p>
<p>[Update]: CTuttle just brought this gem to the comment thread:  <strong><a href="http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2013/03/obama-admin-says-it-can-use-lethal-force-against-americans-us-soil">‘Obama Administration </a>Says President Can Use Lethal Force Against Americans on US Soil’.  </strong>Holder: caveat, caveat…then:</p>
<blockquote>
<div>
<p>The question you have posed is therefore entirely hypothetical, unlikely to occur, and one we hope no president will ever have to confront. It is possible, I suppose, to imagine an extraordinary circumstance in which it would be necessary and appropriate under the Constitution and applicable laws of the United States for the President to authorize the military to use lethal force within the territory of the United States. For example, the president could conceivably have no choice but to authorize the military to use such force if necessary to protect the homeland in the circumstances like a catastrophic attack like the ones suffered on December 7, 1941, and September 11, 2001.</p>
</div>
</blockquote>
<p>The letter concludes, “were such an emergency to arise, I would examine the particular facts and circumstances before advising the president of the scope of his authority.”</p>
<p>Okay; I just deleted my questions; you have the floor.  Dark Days.  When did Congress suspend Posse Comitatus again?</p>
<p><strong><br />
</strong></p>
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