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Words of Inspiration

I have never written more beautiful or poignant words. I’m starting to get all misty-eyed.

I think I may have a bright future in inspirational writing. 28 more words

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People - A Comedic Look at Depression

Pot smokers talk about pot, and being stoned, and remember that time I was so stoned? I was so wasted, man!

Depressed people talk about being depressed, and I’m so depressed, and I can’t cope, and I just want to kill myself, and blah blah blah… and it’s depressing. 850 more words


Also Known As

Known aliases include:

Rescinder of allowances,

Gatekeeper of screen time,

Architect of misery.

Also known as

Enforcer of arbitrary and unfair rules,

Callous denier of fun and… 73 more words

Musings, Rants, And Everything In Between

If you want to visit this Irish town.... shhhhhhhhh!

QMI Agency reports that a bakery in a village in Waterville, Ireland has posted a signing banning “loud” American tourists. Reportedly part of the problems is that Americans are using the bathrooms and not buying anything. 102 more words


Take It Easy, Daniel Is Funny. I'll See You Later

Two things:

First of all, I’d like to give a hearty “Thank you so, so much” to everyone who has read and enjoyed danielsfunny.com over the past 3 years. 152 more words


Purity Pledge

From this day forward, in the presence of family, church leaders, friends, medical professionals, and politicians, I pledge to have the cleanest vagina the world has ever seen! 203 more words



I am put in mind of my youth by this drunken douche in a Jag pulling up to my booth. He has the same bravado of those long-dead warriors, the same secret hope that his shiny, top-of-the-line equipment will protect him from a hostile universe. 731 more words