Saturday Night Live will welcome host Taylor Lautner and James Franco in December. The New Moon star will appear with Bon Jovi on Dec. 12; and Franco — the big-screen actor currently appearing on General Hospital – will appear with Muse on Dec. 19.

I wonder if Taylor Swift landed him the role…

It’s one thing that they do all the annoying couple things that we hate to see – finish each others sentences, eat off of each others plates without asking, have couple inside jokes, and show more unnecessary and disgusting pda than the Hot Tub Lovers from Saturday Night Live.

However, they have been together so long that it’s arguable that they’ve gotten a little too comfortable in their relationship.  The mystery is gone and the curtain has lifted:

- They’ve started to watch the same tv shows.  Here’s their TiVo show list: Glee, MANswers, American Idol, Secret Girlfriend, So You Think You Can Dance, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and Project Runway.  Surprisingly, the last one is his choice because he thinks Tim Gunn has a “snappy sense of style” and is a “great mentor figure for the designers.”

- They’ve started to dress alike.  Guess which one is wearing Lane Bryant stretch pants and who’s wearing sweat pants, they’ll never tell.  And who can forget Kangol – thank goodness for their matching his and hers tracks suits that come with complementary newsie hats.

- Hygiene has been thrown out the door.  Let’s just leave it at that.

- They’ve adopted the same mannerism.  She watches tv with one hand down her pants and he tries on multiple outfits before heading out to get “just the right look.”

- They’ve imparted useless knowledge upon each other.  He finally knows where the Oyster Fork is located on a formal place setting and she can identify his favorite football team’s “Strong Right Motion 84 Pass-Pitch” play by how the players line up from the huddle.

- Last and not least, they’ve begun to use the bathroom with the door open.  There’s no secrets between them after this.  When visiting them, make sure to never show up unannounced or let your curiosity get the best of you and go into the bathroom with your eyes open.  There are no winners in that game.

UPDATE: Found a mostly-usable form of the video from 22 Minutes, not on their site but at YouTube.  I dunno, but did anyone hear what Palin actually said the same way I did?  In fairness, I didn’t hear “dismantle,” only that the government should share the market with the private sector, IOW a single (big) step backwards, not the giant leap.  No difference though.  “Commonsense conservatism”?  Sweetheart, it left the U.S. during/after the Revolution, and remained among Canada’s Red Tories until they lost their party in the Harper/Reform takeover a couple years ago.  And Sarah and Steve ain’t it!

The other thing I noticed is that, while the lovable “Marg Delahunty” (OK, I really can’t take the voice, but admire her “all lies” review of the book!!) was woman-handled out of the library, her camera crew was allowed to stay.  PURE PHOTO-OP!  No questions, just pictures.  I hope Muscle-Melon wasn’t on the public payroll facilitating that ‘un-campaign’ appearance for Palin.

——————————————

ORIGINAL: That’s right, the Canadians who ‘punked’ W. got last week what may be the only policy remarks Alaska’s disgraced, resigned, unqualified, eye-candy governor will allow herself to be drawn on involuntarily, unscripted, during her eternal, fluff book tour/photo-op … and her own country is not the subject (nor is Russia!): ‘Yup, yup,’ like most self-important Republican politicos, she’s now become an expert on Canada’s model single-payer healthcare system — and all she cares about is corporate profiteering instead, and RATIONING on the basis of wealth, Whiteness, suburban residence, non-Indigenous status, etc.

If that’s “going rogue,” then John McCain’s a maverick!  The free ride she’s been getting from the MSM ever since her (losing) nomination is a danger to America and the world, because the hard right wing will back her as their savior just to feel they get back in power, even if she doesn’t know what to do with it in any way that will benefit, apparently, anyone other than CEOs and wealthy stockholders … short-term, anyway….  TALK ABOUT “DEATH PANELS”!!!  ‘Whose plug would Jesus pull?’

Jimmy Fallon no siempre logra ser cómico, pero a veces tiene unos momentos de genialidad indudables. El más reciente fue su cover de la canción de Fresh Prince of Bell Air, pero como si fuera Neil Young en los setenta.

Si no se recuerdan acá va la original

Y si les suena raro es porque seguramente estuvieron acostumbrado a escucharla en español, en Venevisión, con el voice over de la muerte dando los nombres de los actores.

y de ñapa les dejo la versión gallega que nunca había escuchado JA!

For some insane reason, Hulu deleted Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s amazing monologue from his Saturday Night Live episode, so it’s only available on YouTube presently in a lesser form. Can’t these jackasses on YouTube that manage to get past copyright infringement blocks at least upload widescreen videos correctly?

It’s always a pleasure to see Joseph Gordon-Levitt showing up around every corner being infinitely charming and genuine. He’s clearly a multi-talented, multi-faceted guy and a constant surprise. (500) DAYS OF SUMMER is a wonderful movie, and he played that part perfectly. His roles in recent years have all shown an excellent taste for roles (Cobra Commander excluded?). My realization of just how damn cool this guy really is came when he and the equally charming and all-around perfect woman Zooey Deschanel made the following music video for one of her songs, “Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?”, from her band, She & Him, from SUMMER’s director, Marc Webb:

That’s the best music video ever. Plain and simple. I will not be hearing arguments. I could gush and gush about this video, that movie, and these people all day long.

Check out Joseph Gordon-Levitt charming the pants off of America talking with Jimmy Fallon and playing laser tag with the gusto of a 10-year-old boy. I can’t help but think of the new trailer for Christopher Nolan’s INCEPTION while he runs, jumps, and dives around the set.

When Taboo and the Peas did their SNL performance, Taboo found out he was in the company of a fellow sneaker pimp, Jason Sudeikis so he got him laced up in the TABOOXJUMPs.

And of course, the band, Bucky Johnson gotta be looking fresh.

A few years ago, Malcom Gladwell wrote a book titled, The Tipping Point.  Basically, Gladwell explains that “the tipping point is the biography of an idea, and the idea is very simple.  It is that the best way to understand the emergence of fashion trends, the ebb and flow of crime waves, or, for that matter, the transformation of unknown books into bestsellers, or the rise of teenage smoking, or the phenomena of word of mouth, or any number of the other mysterious changes that mark everyday life is to think of them as epidemics. Ideas and products and messages and behaviors spread just like viruses do.”

My favorite example that Gladwell explores is how former Mayor Rudy Giuliani and his team of leaders dramatically reduced crime in New York City in the 1990’s.  The book sites the statistic that in 1992, there were 2,154 murders in NYC and 626,182 serious crimes. 

So how in five years did the murder rate drop 64.3% to 770 and total crimes drop to 355,893?  What was the tipping point?

The obvious answer to attack these types of terrible crimes would be more police on the streets, which was an expensive solution.

But that’s not what they did. With William Bratton as the head of the police department and Giuliani as mayor, they collaborated on the “broken window theory.”  Attack the lesser crimes in order to decrease the number of more serious crimes.  These are noted as “quality of life” crimes, examples are public urination, public drunkenness. They arrested repeat offenders and cracked down on graffiti.

In fact, David Gunn, the head of the subway department, said that “the graffiti was the symbolic collapse of the system.”  And you know it’s making an impact when Saturday Night Live spoofs the situation, which they did.  (I have searched and can’t find that youtube video.  If you can find it, I would love to see it again and attach it to this blog post.)

Even though these crimes are insignificant compared to the more violent offenses, they were the tipping points in order to make an impact of the decline on more serious crimes.

So what does all of this have to do with healthcare reform?  I’m not an economist, nor do I even have a business degree. But in my humble opinion, there has GOT to be a tipping point in order to fix our broken healthcare system.

Spending more money to tackle the big problem is just not going to work. It’s like putting more cops on the street.  How does that help? 

I’m a strong believer in healthcare reform, but reform in the right way.  Therefore, I feel we, as Americans, should be asking our politicians what are the tipping points that will actually make a difference…what is healthcare reform’s graffiti?

Again, I’m not an economist, but I believe tort reform and strict mandates on buying insurance are the start to tip this thing back in our favor. 

Why? 

Tort reform will lower the ability for patients to sue their doctors, which would lower their malpractice insurance, which would lower their costs for services.

Strict mandates on individuals will force the young, healthier people into the insurance pool, which would 1) get them covered and 2) would lower the premiums for everyone else because of them buying into the system.

Wasn’t that the goal in the first place, insure more people at a lower cost?  Hmm…

Maybe this makes no sense at all; maybe it makes too much sense.  Either way, we really need to watch Washington and make sure they are not just putting more cops on the street when we really need to go after the graffiti.

O ‘Saturday Night Live’ já descobriu: o que causará o começo do fim do mundo em 2012 será a eleição de Sarah Palin à presidência dos EUA.

Hilário!

While I loved the Taylor Swift Twilight parody that aired a couple of weeks ago, I can’t say the same for last Saturday’s cold opening on SNL. In trying to poke fun at President Obama’s U.S. policy and programs, SNL decided to do a ching chong skit based on the president’s recent trip to Asia.

Sorry Will Forte, but mumbling fake Chinese as President Hu JinTao did not make it any less offensive, nor was Nasim Pedrad’s fake accent as his translator any more amusing. Of course, it’s hard to expect a higher standard for good taste when the actor playing the first black president is white. Really SNL? Really? Just because you got away with blackface doesn’t mean that yellowface is okay too. In fact, neither one with them was cool to begin with.

If you can afford to pay Amy Poehler and Tina Fey for guest appearances, couldn’t you have easily hired Ken Jeong for a one-time gig? There are really no excuses for not using an Asian/Asian American actor when you already have one on NBC’s payroll. Not to mention, he’s has a pretty impressive resume having been in almost every blockbuster bromance comedy since Knocked Up.

I don’t typically watch Saturday Night Live these days. While I can clearly see that it must be a blast to work on the show, it’s hardly entertaining enough to watch on a consistant basis. But, when I went to the Hulu homepage and saw that Joseph Gordon-Levitt was the host last week, I decided to give it another shot.

In an obviously staged discussion between Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel to help promote their recent film, (500) Days of Summer, G-L admitted that he often listens to music to get him ready before he acts.

And from his performance on SNL this past week, it seems that G-L has a bit of a pension for bursting into song at the drop of his hat. Nearly all of his skits contained some sort of music component, and I don’t think this was the case just because Dave Matthews Band was the guest musician. From the second G-L appeared on stage at the beginning of the show to introduce himself, he appeared to be gushing with the kind of giddy energy that is the thing musicals are made from.

And though it’s hard to tell for sure, he didn’t sound half-bad. Will J G-L follow in Zooey Deschanel’s footsteps and try his hand at music? I might be fine with that… as long as he doesn’t give up acting in delightfully quirky roles.

If you haven’t seen Saturday Night Live’s 2012 video on Sarah Palin you should check it out. Keith Olbermann called it Sarahpocalypse last night and I think that was a pretty good description.

I stopped thinking these were funny after the “Iran so Far” one with the dude from Maroon 5. They seemed like they were trying to hard and it just wasn’t working for me. I decided to watch this one this morning and I actually liked it. Hilarious if you ask me.

So I think we should stop being concerned at whether or not Lady GaGa is a man or a woman, and just agree that it is freaking disgusting. The creature and its costumes don’t even make sense. They aren’t even outrageous, they are just disgusting. It’s as if she takes a shit and then gets inspired by her shit to design costumes. Saturday Night Live made the joke that her costumes were made from just garbage, but it seems to be beyond that. Upon seeing an advertisement for Lady GaGa guest appearing on a late night talk show, my 40 year old uncle asked “What the hell is a Lady GaGa?” I don’t think I could’ve asked it better myself. I can’t believe I use to beat off violently to Lady GaGa. Well, I still do it, but it ends with me crying violently now.

[Source IDon'tLikeYouInThatWay]

• The St. Louis Post-Dispatch says 90210 is “succeeding.”
• TVGuideMagazine.com has 90210 casting spoilers.
• The New York Times has an article on the webseries trend, which mentions Jennie Garth (Kelly, Beverly Hills 90210) and The Broadroom.
• I watched Grey’s Anatomy for the first time last night and saw that James Pickens Jr. (Henry, Beverly Hills 90210) is in it.
• Beverly Hills 90210 on DVD made EW.com’s Holiday Gift Guide. (I heard Dawson’s Creek is in there, too, but I can’t find it.)
• Brian Austin Green (David, Beverly Hills 90210), Ed Westwick (Chuck, Gossip Girl) and Jessica Szohr (Vanessa, Gossip Girl) are all included in PEOPLE.com’s Couples Watch.
• PEOPLE.com has an interview with Szohr about her style compared to Vanessa’s.
• Blake Lively (Serena, Gossip Girl) will host Saturday Night Live on December 5.
• Kristen Bell (Gossip Girl, Gossip Girl) was a presenter at the American Music Awards.
• Examiner.com has more on the Sophia Bush (Brooke, One Tree Hill) and Austin Nichols (Julian, One Tree Hill) appearance on a USO Tour.
• James Lafferty (Nathan, One Tree Hill), Robert Buckley (Clay, One Tree Hill) and Eric Balfour (Eddie, The O.C.) are all starring in The Legend of Hell’s Gate: An American Conspiracy.
• There’s an interesting reference to The O.C. in this Huffington Post piece.
• SoapNet will air the two O.C. specials–The O.C.: Obsess Completely and Welcome to The O.C.: A Day in the Life–Tuesday at 1 and 2pm.
• Joshua Jackson (Pacey, Dawson’s Creek) will star in UFO, a film based on a British television show.

You HAVE to watch this video.  I almost fell out of my chair, both from shock that SNL would do this, and from laughter.

Saturday Night Live is just a part of the right-wing hate machine at Fox News. The show is on NBC (the New Barack Channel), you say? That can’t be true. If that’s true, then it would appear that NBC is straying from the Barreservation.

Could it be that the TRUTH is finally sinking in to the thick skulls of these liberal political whores who have sold their journalistic souls to liberalism? Is it becoming apparent that spending a trillion dollars is not how to save a billion dollars? Is it becoming apparent that The American Rape Program (TARP), often called a “stimulus” by the left, doesn’t save or create jobs, doesn’t stimulate the economy, and only pays political debts while enslaving Americans economically for generations to come? Is it becoming apparent that Obama and nut-job liberals like Pelosi and Reid are willing and determined to sell YOUR soul to accomplish THEIR political and ideological goals?

We can only hope that there is somewhat of an awakening beginning to occur in the lame-stream media. Our future is going to be painful no matter what we do. But it will be much more painful than necessary, and possibly even destroy our nation if we don’t put a stop to Obama and the liberals NOW.

I don’t think we can afford to wait until 2010 anymore. Every city and state needs to begin the process to recall and fire the politicians who are supporting Obama’s anti-American policies, and they need to start NOW. If we wait, they will destroy too much by the time they are simply voted from office.

And if Youtube won’t give it to you here’s a Link………Click………

Here’s the video: (H/T Neil Simpson)

If the video is removed, try watching it here.

And here’s the transcript:

ANNOUNCER: We will now take you live to Beijing for the joint press conference already underway between U.S. President Obama and Chinese President Hu Jintao.

OBAMA: As I already said privately, I would like to thank President Jintao for his kind welcome and generous hospitality, and I hope that during this visit we can have a productive dialogue about the serious issues of concern that remain between our two countries — issues ranging from the unfair valuation of your currency to the trade imbalance, and most importantly, human rights. I believe there can be a great partnership between us but it will require compromise and understanding.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Thank you, Mr. President. I would like to add that I completely understand why you feel entitled to come here and lecture China on our shortcomings. After all, my country does owe the United States a great deal of money. Oh, wait. Hold on a moment. I believe I had that backwards. In fact, now that I think about it, it is your country that owes us a large sum of money. Is this correct?

OBAMA: Uh… yes.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Now, it’s coming back to me. I believe it’s $800 billion.

OBAMA: That is correct.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Such a large sum.

OBAMA: Yes, it is.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: And yet you haven’t even mentioned it. That’s so odd.

OBAMA: Uh, look, you’re going to get your money.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Are we? Are we going to get our money? Because from what I read your country is in the middle of a serious recession.

OBAMA: Uh, while this is true, there are signs that our bailout has steadied the financial markets and our stimulus package has been effective in fixing the job crisis.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: I’m curious. How many jobs has it created?

OBAMA: Uh, so far, none.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: I see.

OBAMA: But our health care reform plan, we’re confident, is going to lead to enormous savings.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: How exactly is extending health care coverage to 30 million people going to save you money?

OBAMA: I… don’t know.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: And this “Cash for Clunkers” program– I have read that you purchased many clunkers with our money.

OBAMA: Yes, we have.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: What does this word “clunkers” mean?

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

OBAMA: Well, a clunker is a car…

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: I know what a clunker is. And just so there is no misunderstanding, you are not allowed to pay us back in clunkers.

OBAMA:Of course not.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: You know, as I listen to you, I am noticing that each of your plans to save money involves spending even more money. This does not inspire confidence.

OBAMA: I assure you, you’re going to get your money.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Will you kiss me?

OBAMA: Sorry?

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Will you kiss me?

OBAMA: I don’t understand.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: I like to be kissed, (shouts) when someone is doing sex to me!

OBAMA: There’s no need for that.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: No? You know how many uninsured we have in China? One and a quarter billion, billion. But I’ll tell you this: We don’t owe anyone $800 billion.

OBAMA: Well, obviously, we take our debt to you very seriously.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: I suppose if I really wanted to get my money I could call and say I was a Wall Street banker who needs his bonus. But really, why should I have to stoop to that level?

OBAMA: You don’t have to stoop to any level.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Please understand if it were my $800 billion I wouldn’t care, but it belongs to my country. I feel like I should bring it up.

OBAMA: You’re going to get your money.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Say, while you’re here, are you at least going to treat me to dinner and a movie?

OBAMA: I’m sorry?

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: I think it’s the polite thing to do, (shouts) before doing sex to me!

OBAMA: Mr. President, please.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Very well.

OBAMA: I assure you that as soon we solve this economic crisis…

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Which one? The one that your country’s reckless real estate speculation caused? That one? I just want to make sure I know which one we’re talking about.

OBAMA: We are taking steps to make sure that what happened will never happen again.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: What steps?

OBAMA: Uh, reform of banking regulations.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Do I look like Mrs. Obama?

OBAMA: What?

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Do I look like Mrs. Obama?

OBAMA: Of course not.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Then why are you trying to (shouts) do sex to me like I was Mrs. Obama?

OBAMA: Now, now.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Just do it. Get it over with.

OBAMA: Mr. President!

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Don’t be a tease.

OBAMA: I just…

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: I can take it.

OBAMA: This is not the time or place.

(Hu Jintao “speaks.”)

INTERPRETER: Very well. In that case, I call this press conference to a close, and Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!

The latest issue of Entertainment Weekly has a piece on that comedy stalwart, Saturday Night Live, that almost reads like a surrender treaty. The article basically says that while there are some chuckles, the show just is a bit toothless, but that “Saturday Night Live is a pop cultural machine that’s likely to continue until producer Lorne Michaels decides to end it.” The show still averages 6.6 million viewers, but after not laughing through most of this season, I have to wonder why online video hasn’t finally killed Saturday Night Live?

It’s funny to look back on the different ways I’ve enjoyed the show. When I was a kid, I’d stay up late. In college, we’d have some drinks and watch with a dorm room full of people. There was a time when I just didn’t watch it at all (the bar years). Now with a DVR, I never miss an episode, and I can easily zip through the boring parts — and there are many, many boring parts. This isn’t meant to spark a “when did SNL start sucking” debate, but it seems like the most efficient way to watch the program anymore is just to wait and see which clips pop up on my social networks and watch those.

Built from five minute sketches, the show’s format is perfect for those with short attention spans, and fits even better on the web, where it can be easily broken up into snackable chunks. And Saturday Night Live has always been about the parts, rather than the whole. We remember “D*ck in a Box” and “I’m Gumby, Dammit” not the particular episodes that delivered those sketches.

Since it’s such a web friendly format, does anyone actually watch the whole 90 minute shebang from start to finish any more (do you)? When you DVR it, you can fast forward once you know a sketch is a dud. Blogs and social networks like Twitter and Facebook, will show what your friends are watching and talking about, and help you avoid the unfunny stuff entirely and zero in on what people are buzzing about.

People have been predicting the demise of SNL since pretty much the show began, and it’s still kicking around. I figured I wasn’t the first person to write about the web’s potential impact on the show, and I’m not. A Network World (of all places) headline from an October 2006 post reads “Will the Internet Kill SNL?” At the same time we talk about how the web will impact the show’s future, it’s important to remember that Saturday Night Live’s Lazy Sunday was a pivotal moment for online video history and in particular, web video giant YouTube. That sketch went viral and exposed millions of people to the burgeoning service (and most likely inspired a generation of DIY comedians).

Thanks to video embeds and on-demand video services like Hulu, making sure you tune into the actual show just isn’t as important anymore. If there’s some pop culturally significant moment you missed, twenty of your friends will tweet about it and you can catch up right away. Given the topical nature of the show, there’s no sense in NBC (s GE) imposing a delayed release window before putting it online because it would lose all value.

In a weird way, Saturday Night Live is more reliant on the web than ever — but that reliance could wind up eliminating the need for the show altogether. Or not. It’s a whole chicken and egg thing. Plus, as Entertainment Weekly concludes: “It may be an old habit, this Saturday Night Live, but we don’t seem to want to shake our addiction.”