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	<title>sausage-and-chips &amp;laquo; WordPress.com Tag Feed</title>
	<link>http://en.wordpress.com/tag/sausage-and-chips/</link>
	<description>Feed of posts on WordPress.com tagged "sausage-and-chips"</description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 31 Dec 2009 04:35:57 +0000</pubDate>

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<title><![CDATA[In Pursuit of Glory]]></title>
<link>http://dulwichonview.org.uk/2008/06/10/in-pursuit-of-glory/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 10 Jun 2008 06:00:37 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>stevejslack</dc:creator>
<guid>http://dulwichonview.org.uk/2008/06/10/in-pursuit-of-glory/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Steve Slack’s diary of a week in the life of the pub quiz continues. His team are eager for a win. F]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Steve Slack’s diary of a week in the life of the pub quiz continues. His team are eager for a win. F]]></content:encoded>
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<title><![CDATA[There's Rhinoceros Eating My Tea!]]></title>
<link>http://purplepoppy.wordpress.com/2007/10/25/theres-a-rhinoceros-eating-my-tea/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 25 Oct 2007 20:13:50 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>kimmikat</dc:creator>
<guid>http://purplepoppy.wordpress.com/2007/10/25/theres-a-rhinoceros-eating-my-tea/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Johnny was on his way home from his school. He&#8217;d be glad to get in even though lessons were co]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">Johnny was on his way home from his school.<br />
He&#8217;d be glad to get in even though lessons were cool.<br />
They&#8217;d learned about animals in far away lands,<br />
in the ocean, and desserts and leafy woodlands.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">Now Johnny&#8217;s mind turned to the question of tea.<br />
His mum&#8217;s daily menu he couldn&#8217;t guarantee,<br />
but he hoped it would either be sausage and chips,<br />
or perhaps something barbequed, accompanied by dips.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">As he opened the gate, and walked up the front path,<br />
he found himself wishing it was time for his bath.<br />
He was tired, after cricket and so many lessons,<br />
Geography, English and dull music sessions.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">As he opened the back door, and stepped forward an inch,<br />
he dropped his school bag, gave his arm a sharp pinch.<br />
He must be dreaming, this couldn&#8217;t be right,<br />
In front of his eyes was an incredible sight.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">For there, at the table, wedged in his dad&#8217;s chair,<br />
with his mouth full of cake and seemingly unaware<br />
that he was dropping iced gooey bits all over the floor,<br />
was a rhino, the size of his dad&#8217;s garage door!</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">Johnny couldn&#8217;t believe what he saw and he gasped;<br />
&#8216;Oh Mum! there&#8217;s a rhino&#8217;, and quickly he grasped<br />
the door handle and fled to the back garden shed.<br />
The rhino had filled him with terror and dread.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">He waited and listened. No noises could be heard.<br />
This surely, he thought, is just so absurd.<br />
He peered round the shed door, hoping to see<br />
his mum or his dad trying to find him for tea!</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">After several more minutes, he decided to move,<br />
He&#8217;d look through the window and hope it would prove,<br />
that there was no rhinoceros, eating his tea,<br />
spilling orange juice and sponge cake and burping with glee.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">He crept back to the house, but because he was small<br />
He couldn&#8217;t reach up, and he wished he was tall.<br />
Finding a flowerpot he climbed on the top,<br />
hoping the pot would not break so he&#8217;d drop.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">But he needn&#8217;t have worried because the rhino was busy.<br />
He&#8217;d been in the fridge and had drunk something fizzy.<br />
Johnny could see fizz coming out of his nose,<br />
A long steady stream right down to his toes!</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">Johnny shook his head, desperately trying to clear<br />
the thought that this couldn&#8217;t be happening here.<br />
A rhinoceros doesn&#8217;t drink fizzy pop or fruit juice,<br />
Surely that would be thought of as rhino abuse?</span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">The kitchen was dark, and it was difficult to see,<br />
but that didn&#8217;t matter; he could hear the TV.<br />
Then he heard crashing, followed by a loud bang.<br />
The table had fallen with a clattering clang.</span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">&#8216;Oh no&#8217; Johnny thought, &#8216;our house will be wrecked.<br />
This rhinoceros must be stopped&#8217;, and he checked<br />
that the back door was open and he could get in,<br />
hopefully undetected amidst all the din.</span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"> </span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">The rhino was dancing, attempting the tango,<br />
while chomping his way through a rather large mango.<br />
He was far too preoccupied, to notice the boy<br />
who had slipped by so quietly, his fun to destroy.</span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">Johnny raced up the stairs to his parents’ bedroom,<br />
which smelled of fresh bedding and his mother&#8217;s perfume.<br />
He located the telephone, next to the bed,<br />
but the emergency number went clean out of his head.</p>
<p>&#8216;Oh come on&#8217;, he thought. &#8216;What is the right number?&#8217;<br />
And with that he fell into a deep restful slumber.<br />
A short while later he heard his mum call;<br />
&#8216; Come on Johnny, teas ready, and then it&#8217;s football&#8217;.</p>
<p>He opened his eyes and was stunned to realise,<br />
he was on his mums bed, he could tell by the size!<br />
How did he get here? This wasn&#8217;t his bed.<br />
Befuddled the memories rushed into his head.</p>
<p>There had been a rhinoceros eating his tea;<br />
And dancing to music, but how can that be?<br />
He remembered he had come here to pick up the ‘phone.<br />
He remembered the smell of perfume and cologne.</p>
<p>His mum popped her head round the edge of the door.<br />
&#8216;Are you awake love, I&#8217;ve been hearing you snore.<br />
You must have been very tired to sleep before tea.<br />
What with lessons and then cricket, such a busy little bee!&#8217;</p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">Johnny was not sure that his dream was a dream.<br />
He remembered the rhino&#8217;s face covered in cream. <br />
If it was just a dream, how come he was here,<br />
sleeping in mums room? It was all so unclear.</span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">He decided he wouldn&#8217;t tell what he had seen.<br />
He wasn&#8217;t sure anyway if there really had been<br />
a rhino, or whether he just dreamed it up.<br />
A rhinoceros? In England? In leafy Sidcup?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">So he put all his memories to the back of his head,<br />
until one day his father looked at him and said;<br />
‘ Let&#8217;s go to the zoo, say hello to some creatures.<br />
Then tomorrow at school you can tell all your teachers’.</span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">So they spent the whole day, exploring the cages.<br />
Johnny loved the meercats and watched them for ages.<br />
Then they saw lions, bears and strange birds,<br />
and wilder beast rambling around in their herds.</span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">Then suddenly, out of the corner of his eye,<br />
Johnny saw something and he let out a cry!<br />
There was a rhino, lying flat in the mud.<br />
Johnny&#8217;s old memories returned in a flood.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">He stared at the beast who rolled over and over,<br />
enjoying his mud bath, as if it was clover.<br />
Then as he watched, the beast turned to look at him,<br />
and Johnny was sure that he gave him a grin.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">Rhinos don&#8217;t grin, Johnny tried to think straight.<br />
Rhinos don&#8217;t drink orange, or learn how to skate;<br />
They don&#8217;t eat sponge cake, mangos or cream;<br />
Well maybe, perhaps, as a part of a dream.</span></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"> </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">But as he was about to turn round and move on,<br />
The rhino stood up and faced him head on.<br />
Looking at Johnny and appearing to think,<br />
the rhino gave Johnny a whopping great wink.</span></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"> </span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">So, was it a dream, or was it for real?<br />
Johnny doesn&#8217;t know what to think or to feel.<br />
But he has wondered many times, how a rhino was able,<br />
to squeeze through the door and sit down at the table!<br />
</span></span><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';"><span style="font-family:'Tahoma','sans-serif';">©DF2007<br />
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