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Blogs about: Scareded

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so here i am

the edges wrote 10 months ago: i’m writing so woohoo so great so well done i… i don’t have anything i want to tal … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, Being Good, e*a and me, Body, being good to be around, being in control, Dark things, circling birds

purchased on ebay in the last 24-48 hours

the edges wrote 10 months ago: 1/2 lb (2000-3000 stones) of blue lace agate: $10 ($5 + $5 for shipping) 1/2 lb (~120 stones) of sma … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, Being Good, taking care of people, feeling crazy, Body, talking about things we don't want to talk about, inter-system communication

we cried for the first third of our session with kathy

the edges wrote 10 months ago: and it isn’t any of anyone’s *fucking* business what we talked about so back the fuck of … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness

i don't even know what i'm scared of

the edges wrote 10 months ago: but i am petrified.  of everything.  of everyone.  i just, i cnat. people want to much they always d … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness

i have no idea whether this is apprpriate or not

the edges wrote 11 months ago: but m*riads told me once that the only (best?) defense they had was to tell and tell and tell.  and … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, e*a and me, Self-Hating, feeling crazy, Body, Nobody loves me, needing people, talking about things we don't want to talk about, protective/possessive

it's so easy

the edges wrote 11 months ago: you make them happy.  then they make you happy.  and you both need each other, so you both need to d … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, mom

this is not an entry i want to write

the edges wrote 11 months ago: okay. let’s start there. this is not an entry i want to write. i am writing it, but i don … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, Alters, Being Good, Dysfunctionality, taking care of people, the borderlines, being clingy/needy, mom, sex-being a bottom

what we're singing

the edges wrote 11 months ago: life preserves or how to watch … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, Audio, Music, mom, Scared, Sadness

(...)

the edges wrote 11 months ago: … more →

Tags: Update, pcture/graphic, Being Good, being hard on ourselves, feeling crazy, Nobody loves me, being in control, being an abuser, circling birds

someone inside says "i cried hysterically"

the edges wrote 11 months ago: like they are narrating. who knows. i know we are triggered. i know we are bad. i know we are a bad … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, Being Good, being clingy/needy, mom, Self-Hating, feeling crazy, Body, Nobody loves me, circling birds

i would just like to say, for the record,

the edges wrote 11 months ago: that clearly i am treating m*riad like my mother whom i need to save or they’ll leave me. i ju … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, Update, mom, Nobody loves me, needing people, protective/possessive, being in control, Being Bad, circling birds

plus

the edges wrote 11 months ago: we got all triggerred last nigth cuz m*riad basically told us that they were doing *us* a favor by l … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, trying to figure something out, Being Good, being clingy/needy, mom, smoking, Self-Hating, being good to be around, Self-harm

who am i kidding?

the edges wrote 11 months ago: if m*riad is running away, then i picked them because they would be running away.  and would probabl … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, Being Good, taking care of people, the borderlines, being clingy/needy, smoking, sex-being a bottom, Self-Hating, feeling crazy

some of us think it is hilarious that anyone thinks we would judge a*ron

the edges wrote 11 months ago: (laughs)  why?  cuz his “bad” parts have been detected and done “tangibly wrong … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, Body, Dark things, Being Bad, being an abuser, circling birds

i think it is really scary for us for m*riad to see a*ron

the edges wrote 11 months ago: i think some of us really believe they are going to come back angry at us (or some of them will be) … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, Being Good, mom, Programming, Help

wes had a good talk with m*riads

the edges wrote 11 months ago: and they told us about resentment and upset they’ve been feeling towards us and it was so … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, Update, Help, hidden anger

m*riad and us talked

the edges wrote 11 months ago: i think wes are really similar.  both of us are constantly striving for the other’s love/appor … more →

Tags: Stream of Consciousness, trying to figure something out, Update, Being Good, the borderlines, being clingy/needy, mom, being hard on ourselves, feeling crazy

wow

the edges wrote 11 months ago: i am so scared.  she must really not love me.  they must really not love me.  i must be a very bad g … more →

Tags: Rant, feeling crazy, Body, Being Bad

(bloodcurdling scream)

the edges wrote 11 months ago: why do they hate us so much?  why are they sacrificing us?  why don’t they love us?  why do th … more →

Tags: Rant, Stream of Consciousness


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