I was at the airport this morning and I looked down at my feet and saw a black leather suitcase. Upon opening it I discovered a thick manuscript titled ‘Twilight 3: Scrappy-Doo Makes A Boo-Boo’. Obviously someone had made a huge mistake and left an item of great value behind.  However a quick skim and I found out that in a jealous rage Scrappy attacks Edward with a meat cleaver and then forces himself on to Bella. Now I thought this was odd as Scrappy, other than being an asexual minor, was in fact a fictional cartoon character. Would it be like when Paula Abdul danced with MC Skat Kat in the ‘Opposites Attract’ film clip? It just wouldn’t work. Surely this version was a clever decoy to keep the “Twihards” guessing. So I installed the latest copy of Microsoft Decoder on my laptop and proceeded to retype the whole script. A day later when I hit DECODE I was presented with ‘Twilight 3: Hot Runnings’. I noticed it was fairly similar to that Disney movie about the guys that form a Jamaican bobsled team, except this was set in Iceland and Edward, Bella, Jacob, Hitler and Gandalf form a relay team that hopes to compete in London 2012. Hilarity ensues when Gandalf realises he was in a superior movie trilogy and plots the deaths of his teammates. After succeeding he has a tea party with Jude Law and Bono. Ha! Nice try, I figured this was also a decoy script as there would be no way Gandalf would let this pass – he would not kill off Hitler and then dine with Bono.

Even though both decoys proved to be of a higher quality in comparison to Twilight 1 and 2, I was still sick of being stuffed around by jackass writers. I was ready to give up. But I decided to give it one last go. Luckily as the true plot was revealed titled ‘Twilight 3: Edward vs Dracula’. Edward is enjoying a quiet nighttime read of ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ at a local beatnik cafe when the Count comes up behind him, taps him on the shoulder and asks him “are you serious with all this shit?” before ripping his head off and feasting on his jugular. As the petrified cafe patrons look on Dracula boldly declares: “Who is glittering now, bitch?”. The end. Turns out it’s a short film that they plan on running during the halftime show of the 2010 Superbowl.

In conclusion how much did my blog hits just go up? Would it be as much as a post titled ‘2 and a Half Men Is  Abreast Of The Rest’? Results in a few days.

Pulled this out and thought I’d share it*:

Beo-WOOF**

SCENE 1:

Heorot, the great hall of HROTHGAR. The King of the Danes is seated upon his throne, AESCHERE is at his side. UNFERTH and the DANISH WARRIORS are milling about in typical Viking fashion.

HROTHGAR: (visibly upset) Oh, great gods of the North. Why have you forsaken your chosen people and sent this horrible beast to prey upon us?

AESCHERE: My Lord. (leans closer to HROTHGAR, as if whispering in his ear) Perhaps one of your warriors have done something to anger Odin and the gods. (HROTHGAR lifts a hand as if to swat AESCHERE away. AESCHERE cowers) My Lord, I mean no disrespect, but–

Funky ’70s music can be heard. HROTHGAR looks around confused. He claps his hands and two DANISH WARRIORS march off stage. They return seconds later with FRED, DAPHNE, VELMA, SHAGGY and SCOOBY-DOO. The funky music gets louder, than stops.

HROTHGAR: Who are these strange travelers who come before me?

FRED: Hey. My name’s Fred. My friends and I were on our way to a really groovy barn dance and our van broke down. Do you guys have a phone we can use to call for–

HROTHGAR: Groovy! Barn dance! Van! PHONE!! WHAT ARE THESE STRANGE WORDS!!??!! Who sent you?

SHAGGY: Like, no one sent us, man. Like Freddie said, our van like broke down a few miles down the road.

AESCHERE: Perhaps, my Lord, this van they speak of is some kind of chariot.

HROTHGAR: (considering AESCHERE’s words) Perhaps. If you be pilgrims in my land, than you are welcome to stay in Heorot for the night. But be warned, the Danes are a cursed people.

SHAGGY and SCOOBY-DOO: C-c-c-cursed!!!!!

VELMA: Relax you two chickens. Who are you?

UNFERTH: (stepping between HROTHGAR and the kids) This is our king and lord. Hrothgar, the great king of the Danes. And this is his glorious hall: Heorot.

SHAGGY: Zoinks! King of the Danes…like, wow! Scoob, you’re a Dane, like a Great Dane at that. (laughs)

SCOOBY-DOO: (laughs hysterically…than stops and considers the joke) Ry ron’t ret it.

HROTHGAR: This is no time to laugh, strange furry man. Heorot is a cursed hall.

DAPHNE: Cursed? How?

UNFERTH: Our mighty king is plagued by Grendel.

VELMA: What’s a Grendel?

UNFERTH: Grendel is a hideous creature who comes out of the blackness around Heorot and slays the king’s mightiest warriors in the night. He is a plague and blight. He can not be stopped. (turns to HROTHGAR) We must abandon Heorot now, my lord, while some of us still draw breath.

FRED: Sounds like you have a ghost on your hands.

SHAGGY and SCOOBY-DOO: (shuddering, holding each other) A g-g-g-ghost!

HROTHGAR: (waves a dismissive hand) Grendel is no ghost. He is a demon. Flesh and blood like you or I.

SHAGGY and SCOOBY-DOO: (still cowering) A d-d-d-demon!

VELMA: Are you sure it’s a demon? It might be a ghost.

DAPHNE: Velma’s right. Maybe it’s a ghost demon.

FRED: We’ve faced ghosts before. Maybe we can solve this mystery for you.

HROTHGAR: ’Tis no mystery. ’Tis a curse. You are welcome to spend the night in my hall, but beware the claws of Grendel when the sun sets. (claps his hands) Let the night’s feast begin! If we are to die tonight, let it not be of hunger.

SHAGGY: Like, did he say feast?

Lights fade to black.

SCENE 2:

Later that night. SHAGGY and SCOOBY-DOO are still wearing the napkins from dinner around their necks.

HROTHGAR: Now that the feast has ended, let us retire for the night. Sleep well my brave warriors.

HROTHGAR closes his eyes and sleeps on his throne. UNFERTH and AESCHERE curl up in front of the king’s throne. The DANISH WARRIORS sleep wherever they can find space.

FRED: Okay gang, let’s get some sleep. Shaggy, you and Scoob go sleep over there (points across the stage) and the girls and I will sleep here.

SHAGGY and SCOOBY-DOO start to cross the stage. SHAGGY stops and looks back at FRED, DAPHNE and VELMA.

SHAGGY: Like, wait a minute, Freddie. Like how come I always get stuck with Scooby and you get to sleep with the girls?

FRED: (diplomatically) Come on, Shag. Someone has to protect the girls from this ghost. Besides, Scooby is YOUR dog. (SHAGGY considers this) Now, get your skinny stoner ass over there with your mutt and let me and the girls get some…sleep.

Lights fade to black.

SCENE 3:

Middle of the night. The stage is dark and everyone appears to be sleeping.

DAPHNE: Ohhh, Freddie.

FRED: Mmmmm. That’s right, Daph. Yeah. You know what I like.

DAPHNE: Put it right there. Right. There. Don’t stop.

VELMA: Oh, yes Daphne. Oh god…that’s SO GOOD!

DAPHNE: You like that?

FRED, DAPHNE, and VELMA moan with pleasure.

A crashing is heard off-stage, followed by a vicious snarling and growling sound.

AESCHERE: MY LORD! GRENDEL APPROACHES!!!!

The lights come on. HROTHGAR tosses aside his blanket and teddy bear and looks around. UNFERTH and the DANISH WARRIORS get to their feet, weapons ready. SHAGGY and SCOOBY-DOO wake up first. Across the stage, FRED, DAPHNE and VELMA are hidden under a blanket.

HROTHGAR: Unferth, go and warn the others. Bring every able-bodied warrior to me.

UNFERTH: (bowing) Yes, my lord. (exits)

SHAGGY: Like, what’s going on, man?

HROTHGAR: It is Grendel. He comes.

SCOOBY-DOO: Rendel? Re rums??

SHAGGY: Like oh man. (SHAGGY takes a pipe out of his pocket. He and SCOOBY-DOO smoke a bowl) Like, zoinks, Scoob.

SCOOBY-DOO: Reah, Raggy. (giggles) Roinks.

FRED, DAPHNE and VELMA emerge from their blanket. Their clothes and hair are in disarray. DAPHNE is wearing VELMA’s glasses.

FRED: Shag. Scoob. What’s going on?

SHAGGY: It’s like…y’know…like that Grendel guy. He’s like…here, Freddie.

VELMA: Hey. (takes her glasses back from DAPHNE) Give me those. I can’t see a thing without my glasses.

DAPHNE: (real flirtatious) You didn’t have a problem finding my–

FRED: DAPHNE!!

DAPHNE: Oh…ahem…right. So, where’s this demon?

FRED: Ghost.

VELMA: Demon ghost.

DANISH WARRIOR 1: My lord! Grendel approaches!!

GRENDEL enters, shambling like a B-movie monster from the ’50s. SHAGGY and SCOOBY-DOO grab each other and shiver. HROTHGAR stands, weapon raised. The DANISH WARRIORS charge.

GRENDEL: (growling) Hrothgar…Hrothgar…Leave this place. (DANISH WARRIOR 1 attacks GRENDEL with a spear) Foolish Dane! (he knocks the WARRIOR down) No one can stop Grendel!

DANISH WARRIOR 2: My lord, we need more men!

HROTHGAR: (swinging his sword over his head) Where is Unferth?

GRENDEL grapples with the remaining DANISH WARRIORS. SHAGGY and SCOOBY-DOO run around the stage in various directions. They finally hide behind the throne.

AESCHERE: (from behind the throne) Hey…get out of here. This is my hiding place.

SHAGGY: Like, relax, man. There’s plenty of room.

SCOOBY-DOO: Reah. Renty of room.

DANISH WARRIOR 2: Take that foul beast! (thrusts his spear at GRENDEL)

GRENDEL: (grabs his side) Ow…you sonuva–I, ah, I mean GROWL!! ROAR!! GRRRRrrrrrrrr!!

FRED: Hmmmm.

GRENDEL: GRENDEL WILL FEAST ON YOUR FLESH! CHEW ON YOUR BONES! WEAR YOUR SLIMY ENTRAILS AS A SCARF!! Ummm…USE YOUR STOMACH AS A HAT!!…yeah.

HROTHGAR: KEEP FIGHTING MEN!!

DANISH WARRIOR 3 and 4: DIE DEMON!!!! (both WARRIORS charge GRENDEL with their spears)

GRENDEL: (stumbling backwards) Oww…quit it. (pausing, as if remembering something) GRRRR. GROOOOOWL. ROAR!

SHAGGY: Like, what’s going on out there, Scoob.

GRENDEL lopes towards the throne.

SCOOBY-DOO: Ry ron’t row, Raggy.

SHAGGY: Like, why don’t ya take a look, pal.

SCOOBY-DOO peeks out from behind the throne just as GRENDEL reaches it.

SCOOBY-DOO: (waving sheepishly at GRENDEL) Heh heh…rello.

GRENDEL: GRRRRRR! (knocks throne over and reaches for SHAGGY, SCOOBY-DOO and AESCHERE)

SHAGGY: Zoinks! (He and SCOOBY-DOO jump up and run)

GRENDEL grabs AESCHERE by the legs and drags him off stage

DANISH WARRIOR 2: (lifting spear triumphantly) Run, foul creature.

DANISH WARRIOR 4: Think twice before invading the hall of King Hrothgar, creature.

DANISH WARRIOR 3: Umm…yeah…we RULE!

HROTHGAR: (adjusting his crown) Yes, my mighty warriors. You did well. Such strength. Such bravery. However, one of your number has fallen (points to DANISH WARRIOR 1 laying on the stage) and my trusted advisor has been taken.

UNFERTH enters, running. He is panting, out of breath.

HROTHGAR: Unferth! Where in the realm of Midgard have you been?

UNFERTH: (still panting) I am sorry, my lord. I was attacked from behind by the beast. By the time I came to, I heard your cheers of victory.

FRED: Hmmm.

DAPHNE: That’s the second time you said that.

FRED: Something doesn’t feel right.

VELMA: Jinkies. (points to the floor) Look you guys. (bends down and picks up a scrap of paper)

DAPHNE: What is it baby…I–uh–I mean, Velma.

VELMA: (studying paper) It’s a torn piece of paper…I’m not sure, but it looks like it came from a set of blueprints.

FRED: Hmmm.

VELMA and DAPHNE: STOP THAT!

FRED: Oh. Sorry. But I think I’ve finally gotten to the bottom of this little mystery.

HROTHGAR: ’Tis no mystery! ’Tis a curse!

FRED: Whatever. Come on, gang. I have an idea.

FRED, DAPHNE, VELMA, SHAGGY and SCOOBY-DOO exit. Lights fade to black.

SCENE 4:

The stage is empty. FRED, DAPHNE, VELMA, SHAGGY and SCOOBY-DOO enter.

FRED: Come on, Scoob. It’ll be easy.

SCOOBY-DOO: Ruh-uh.

VELMA: (holding up a box) Will you do it for a Scooby-Snack?

SCOOBY-DOO: (shakes his head) Ro.

VELMA: Two Scooby-Snacks?

SCOOBY-DOO: Rope.

FRED: Okay, Scoob. What DO you want? The whole box?

SCOOBY-DOO: Ruh-uh. (looks at DAPHNE, nods his head and pants)

DAPHNE: Oh no. No way, you little freak! (SCOOBY-DOO snickers) NO WAY IN HELL!!

SHAGGY: Like, if you’re offering Daph, I’ll, like, do it instead of Scoob.

DAPHNE: (hiding her face in her hands) Oh God…why me…WHY??

FRED: (whispering to DAPHNE) Relax, babe. Scooby’s neutered. Besides, Velma and I will make it up to you later.

DAPHNE sobs quietly as lights fade to black.

SCENE 5:

The following night. The stage is dimly lit. HROTHGAR and the DANISH WARRIORS are asleep. Snarling is heard off-stage, followed by the same crashing heard the night before.

GRENDEL enters.

GRENDEL: GRRR! ROAR! I AM GRENDEL. DEMON-SPAWN OF CAIN!! (GRENDEL grabs the nearest WARRIOR) Come with me mighty Dane.

(The lights come on to reveal that the WARRIOR is actually SCOOBY-DOO wearing a fake beard and a Viking helmet)

SCOOBY-DOO: Rurprise! (he licks GRENDEL)

GRENDEL: AHH!!

FRED: (from off-stage) NOW!

(DAPHNE and VELMA charge onto the stage and throw a net over GRENDEL)

GRENDEL: (struggling under the net) GRRR! I am Grendel! No mortal man can stop–

DAPHNE: (kicks GRENDEL) Oh, knock it off!

FRED enters.

DAPHNE: We got him, Fred.

FRED: Good job, gang. Uh…wait a minute…where’s Shaggy?

SHAGGY enters, a little unsteadily. He’s munching a bag of chips.

SHAGGY: Like sorry, gang. Got a little, like, y’know, distracted. Some of these wooden walls are, like, reeeeeally interesting.

HROTHGAR gets off his throne and approaches the captured GRENDEL. The DANISH WARRIORS follow.

HROTHGAR: Good work, brave travelers. However, my trusted Aeschere remains lost to us.

FRED: (arrogantly) Not exactly, Your Highness. Scoob.

SCOOBY-DOO runs off-stage, barking. He returns, dragging AESCHERE by his pants, or whatever it is Vikings wear.

HROTHGAR: Oh, by Odin’s mercy! Aeschere, my trusted advisor. You have been spared! Unferth! Unferth, come and see how Aeschere has survived his ordeal… (looking around) Unferth, where have you gone?

VELMA: (to HROTHGAR) You’re really very stupid, aren’t you?

HROTHGAR: I do not understand what you mean.

FRED: Aeschere is part of this. He’s Grendel’s partner.

HROTHGAR and the DANISH WARRIORS laugh hearty Viking laughs.

HROTHGAR: (still chuckling) I will never believe that.

AESCHERE: (sniveling like any self-respecting sycophant) My lord. Do not believe these strangers. They are servants of Loki. I had nothing to do with this. It was all him…all his idea…

Fade to black.

SCENE 6:

AESCHERE and GRENDEL are tied up together. FRED, DAPHNE, VELMA, SHAGGY and SCOOBY-DOO stand next to them. HROTHGAR looks on, obviously confused. The SHERIFF and his three DEPUTIES complete the group.

FRED: Here you go, Sheriff. Grendel and his partner.

VELMA: And, if I’m not mistaken, you’ll find that Grendel really isn’t a demon.

HROTHGAR: Of course he is a demon. He was sent by the gods to curse me and my great hall. He–

DAPHNE: Stop! Okay, just stop.

VELMA: (taking off GRENDEL’s mask and revealing it to be UNFERTH) See. It was a mask all along. Unferth and Aeschere were trying to scare everyone out of Heorot.

HROTHGAR: That can not be. Aeschere and Unferth were both in my hall when Grendel appeared.

FRED: No. They were in your hall when you first heard Grendel. You sent Unferth for help, remember?

SHAGGY: And that’s when he, like, put on his Grendel costume.

HROTHGAR: But how did we hear the creature if both of them were in my hall?

VELMA: With this. (reaches into AESCHERE’s clothes and pulls out a tape-recorder) Listen. (pushes button on the tape-recorder and the crashing and snarling noises are heard) Aeschere played the tape before each attack and then Unferth would run out to put on his costume.

HROTHGAR: But, Unferth was attacked by the beast.

FRED: (to HROTHGAR) God, you’re so fucking stupid! If Grendel wanted to kill your people, why did he just knock Unferth out and leave him? Huh? Why?

HROTHGAR: (a little befuddled) Well, Unferth is a brave and noble warrior. The demon was obviously frightened by his might and valor.

SHERIFF: Okay. So Unferth and Aeschere were partners in this whole Grendel business. But why?

VELMA: That’s easy Sheriff. (hands him the scrap of paper) Unferth dropped this during last night’s fight. It’s a blueprint…or a piece of one, at least.

SHERIFF: Blueprint, huh?

VELMA: Yes. For a Starbuck’s. The Starbuck’s corporation has been trying to break into the Danish market for sometime. They figure Vikings just can’t resist a moccachino. Aeschere knew that Starbuck’s tried to buy the land Heorot was built on from Hrothgar, but he wouldn’t sell.

SHAGGY: Right. So, like, Aeschere and Unferth cooked up this whole scheme to, like, scare Hrothgar away. Then they’d, like, sell the land to Starbuck’s.

DAPHNE: And make a fortune.

UNFERTH: And we would have gotten away with it, too, if–

FRED: Don’t. Don’t say it.

UNFERTH: (pleading) Oh come on…everyone else got to say it. Why can’t I? It’s not fair…it’s not–

FRED: Okay. Say it. But make it quick.

UNFERTH: (pleased with himself) Ahem…we would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids and your nosey dog.

SHERIFF and his DEPUTIES take UNFERTH and AESCHERE off-stage.

HROTHGAR: How can I ever repay you, strange travelers. You have saved my kingdom.

FRED: Don’t worry about it, Hrothgar. It’s what we do.

HROTHGAR: Well, my friends. You are welcome to return to my great hall whenever you please. You will be treated as the brave and noble warriors that you are.

SHAGGY: Hey, like, thanks.

SCOOBY-DOO: Reah. Ranks.

HROTHGAR: No. Thank you, Scooby-Doo. I may be the King of the Danes, but you, Scooby-Doo, are truly a GREAT DANE.

FRED, DAPHNE, VELMA, SHAGGY, SCOOBY-DOO and HROTHGAR all laugh as the lights fade to black.

========================================

*: That’s what she said.

**: I neither own, nor claim to own, any of the characters used in this piece. Except the Sheriff. He was all mine.

The Threadless Holiday Sale is here, folks! $12 tees all week long! Pick up some amazing tees that you’ve been waiting for, along with fresh new tees! Here are some of my favorites:

Fringe

Scary 3D Movie

We've Got Some Work To Do Now

Love Your Fellow As Yourself

Grizzly Adventures

This is just the first part of the holiday sale, so be sure to check back with Threadless weekly for new deals to satisfy your holiday shopping needs! What will you be picking up this week?

This song is already number 18 in the charts!

The problem with young people today is that they think they know everything.

When I was a lad, young people were ignorant – and we were smart enough to know it.

We understood that wisdom came with experience, maturity and age. Knowledge was the purview of the educated, the wealthy and the gainfully employed, not feckless pinheads with an over-inflated sense of self-worth and Wikipedia book marked on their laptops.

In my day young people didn’t presume to understand important issues let alone have an opinion on them. If my old dad told me the piano teacher from down the road was a communist sympathiser, I didn’t offer up some lukewarm retread of the First Amendment in response – I shunned the man in public, pelted his house with crab apples and joined with a mob to run him out of town.

And even if we did think we knew better than our parents we kept our mouths shut. Contradict my father? I may have been ignorant but I sure as Hell wasn’t stupid.

But nowadays, every blowhole of a 15-year old thinks they have the answer to everything from healthcare reform to global warming to the pitching needs of the New York Yankees. And all based on their extensive experience sitting in their parent’s basement watching Scooby Doo Cartons, Ashton Kutcher movies and stuffing their mouths with Ding-Dongs, Skittles and Baby Ruth candy bars.

I blame television for the whole damned mess.

At first, children’s programs were meant to do little more than stop an unattended sprog from sticking his tongue in an electrical outlet but somewhere along the line they started slipping in nasty messages telling these damned kids they were unique, smart and had opinions worth sharing.

Well let me tell you, that damned Elmo may think you’re special but as far as I’m concerned until you’ve hung up your hoodie, held down a job and paid into the tax system, you’re just some know-nothing teenager who’d be wise to keep your damned mouth shut, your opinions to yourself and let the adults do your thinking for you.

That’s just my opinion. But unless you’re over 40, I don’t want to hear any argument.

They think they know everything. That’s the problem with young people today.

Hey there, Anna-Liza here. I usually leave the pig-licking to Lyda, because she’s so darn good at it (wait, what?), but I still have a house full of boxes and no voice, and Thanksgiving is imminent, and and and … so I figured I might as well force our readers into a similar state of distraction find a way to use this scattered state of mind for good. Well, for entertainment, anyway.

Thanksgiving! Gah! I’m making a (mostly) traditional dinner, but I’m deliberately planning it for leftovers, as only two thirds of my family will be here on the day itself.  Zombie Son, Knitting Sprite and her guy will be spending the day with their dad and stepmom and some family friends, but we’re still trying to coordinate schedules so they can all be here at the same time at some later point in the weekend.

So what should we call the guy of Knitting Sprite? I’ve already started calling my granddaughter-to-be “Wee Sprite”, as it seems like the only way to go, really, but what of Wee Sprite’s dad? I think I may have pondered this before, but didn’t come to a conclusion as he is rarely mentioned here. I’ve a feeling he’ll be mentioned more regularly now. So let’s see … hmmm …

MOKS? GOKS? (Man of Knitting Sprite, Guy of Knitting Sprite). Nah, GOKS sounds like an evil species out of Tolkien, and MOKS is too close to Moxie, the head kitty around here.

Outlaw Son? Since they’re not married, so he’s not technically my son-in-law. But … mmm, not really the right vibe.

Well, I’m open to suggestions. He’s tall and blond, athletic, bearded, wears hats, is a student of capoeira and is something of a Luddite. He’s a really good guy. OH! And he’s learning to knit! I’ve been asked to be available on a consulting basis.

Back to Thanksgiving (can I digress in a post that is all a series of digressions, really?) here’s the blog post that, in a weird way, inspired me to lick the pig. A pumpkin shortage? I did notice that there were no double-size cans of Libby’s puree at my grocery store, but there were still plenty of singles. And there are other brands. (Gasp! Blasphemy!) I always save a Libby’s label so I have The Recipe, just in case.

And you have heard, no doubt, of the looming Eggo shortage? Yes, Kellogg’s is now rationing Eggos. You know, just as with the Libby’s pumpkin, there are lots and lots of other brands of frozen waffles out there, and lots of them are (dare I say it?) better than Eggos.

I should perhaps mention that one could dig out that waffle iron one received for one’s wedding and make one’s own fresh hot waffles. It’s not much more difficult than making pancakes, which is to say not at all. And far tastier than the frozen varieties, although I do understand the workday time crunch may relegate this solution to weekends.

You know, the leisurely weekend breakfast, with waffles and syrup (or fruit and whipped cream), bacon, coffee, orange juice, and the morning paper? Or pleasant conversation with loved ones? Remember those?

I do remember those. We’ll have to do one sometime soon. Oh wait, the morning paper and pleasant conversation was pre-kids … well, I’m sure I can still enjoy such a breakfast while talking about Scooby-Doo, Pokémon, and Bakugan.

And, another digression-within-a-digression here, were you even aware of the existence of waffle-recipe.com? Me either. I bet they’re getting to be very popular now, though!

I’ve bought the turkey – about 13 pounds. I have it in the fridge. However, I have very little faith in it actually thawing. I have never had any luck thawing a turkey in the fridge. Maybe if I bought it and put in there a month ahead? Anyway, I’m giving it another try, but I’m also expecting that at some point, I’m going to have to do it the old-fashioned highly dangerous way. You know, the way all our moms did without ever poisoning any of us?

And I still have to get the stuff for the green salad, and I forgot the cranberry sauce. I used to make my own, but Darlin’ K confessed that he actually prefers the jellied, canned kind, so that’s one thing crossed of the list. (The salad recipe is at the bottom of that post I linked to).

I don’t make my own pie crusts, either. I surely admire anyone who makes really good homemade pie crust, but mine turns out slightly less good than the frozen kind, so why torture myself or my family? I do make the filling using the Libby’s recipe on the can. I’ve never found a better one. I don’t care much for all the fancy “pumpkin chiffon” or “pumpkin cheesecake” substitutes.

For me, Thanksgiving is all about the comfort food. Green bean casserole with fried onions on top. Pumpkin pie with real whipped cream. Mashed potatoes with freshly made turkey gravey.

But I do diverge on some points. Can’t bear that sweet-potato-with-marshmallows casserole, so I usually bake garnet yams instead. Same way you bake potatoes. They are so sweet on their own and very yummy this way, no need at all for brown sugar or anything else, although you do need to put a cookie sheet under them or they might bubble over and leave black sticky globs on the bottom of your oven. Yum.

And after Thanksgiving, on Saturday, we’ll be having our annual Christmas Tree Hunt! At the moment it looks like the weather is going to cooperate. And we now have higher ceilings and more space, so we can maybe get a less Charlie-Brown-like slightly larger, fuller tree this year. No idea where it will go yet, but hey. What’s Christmas without moving furniture? Although, you know, we’ve just done a lot of that.

Wow. You know what? I think I need a nap.

Peter Kay’s All Star Band perform for Children In Need 2009. Included in the medley are:  Can You Feel It (0:00), Don’t Stop (1:24), Jai Ho (2:14), Tubthumping (2:58), Never Forget (3:16), Hey Jude (3:36), One Day Like This/Hey Jude (3:55).

The music video features over 100 animated characters from different production companies. All characters are voiced by their current voice artists with the exception of Thomas The Tank Engine, who is voiced by orignal narrator Ringo Starr.

Peter Kay’s All Star Band perform for Children In Need 2009. Included in the medley are:  Can You Feel It (0:00), Don’t Stop (1:08), Jai Ho (2:12), Tubthumping (2:41), Never Forget (2:59), Hey Jude (3:18), One Day Like This (3:37).

The music video features over 100 animated characters from different production companies. All characters are voiced by their current voice artists with the exception of Thomas The Tank Engine, who is voiced by orignal narrator Ringo Starr.

I have a couple of things to say now as I’m taking a break from packing. I’m packing to go to MO to see my family for the thanksgiving break. My school gets the whole week off so my family and I are taking advantage of that. Now it’s thanksgiving, so we should all be thankful and in the comments, let’s start a trend – write what you feel thankful for there. I’ll go first – I’m thankful for my friends, the opportunities I’ve gotten this year, and for the music that’s helped me through alot too. Now we’ll start on that list of things I said I have to say. 

First off – I may or may not have internet for the next week while I’m gone. I’m not sure whether my aunt has wireless in her house, but I’m bringing my laptop just in case. If anyone needs to reach me, they can try my facebook or phone because my facebook is connected to my phone. if you cant reach me through either, try contacting one of my friends to contact me for you. You probably find this all irrelavent because no one really needs to reach me, but still. 

Second off – My nanowrimo never really took off too well. I was so wrapped up in school work and theater that I never had time to write so I only have 4000 words. I’ll be trying to write like crazy during the travel day tomoro. 16 hours in the car spent writing and sleeping. 

Third off – I propose a question and random thing to comment on for you all. So recently at school I’ve gotten two new nicknames from two completely unrelated things. 1. Scooby doo because those are my initials and 2. Yoshi because I apparently looked like an anime character one day so my friends thought of the first thing that popped into their heads. I love how random my friends are. So also in the comments again, post a nickname you’ve gotten through your friends and the story behind it. Thankful memories. haha. 

I think thats all i have to say for now because I better get back to packing my bags for the trip tomoro. Though I will say that the fall play, Charley’s Aunt (see post below) is going great. Our last performance is tonight. I’m excited though sad that it’ll be the end. 

Happy thanksgiving everybody!!!

~Sabrina

Looking out of my window, one frosty morn, I happened to glance upon a goat smoking a cigarette.  He did this is in such a completely nonchalant manner that it suggested that he knew what he was doing.  Rubbing my eyes in disbelief, I pulled on my favourite Scooby Doo t-shirt and pantaloons and blah, blah blah.

Did I really do all that? Of course not.  I’d never wear a Scooby Doo t-shirt.  I did see a goat smoking a cigarette though.  He was called Fred.  Fred The Goat.  Which is a pretty boring name really.  But it was the first thing that sprang to mind when I made it up.

Did I say that I made it up?? Of course I didn’t, it’s his real name.  Honest.  Actually, I’m not allowed to tell you Fred’s real name as he is part of the Witness Protection Programme.  He’s not actually even a goat.  He’s a she and she’s a sheep.  But don’t tell anyone that I told you.

Did I really tell you? Of course not.  You just imagined that I did.  The imagination is a very powerful tool.  Use it carefully though.  There was once a man who imagined that his belly was made of out frogs.  It wasn’t, but the mere act of imagining it caused a lake to boil and the ensuing cloud of steam menaced Norfolk for months.  The man cried at the misery that he had wrought.

Did he really cry? Yes. Yes he did.

“You’re the most murderous, meddling parent!  You think you’re so cute, but you’re mean!”  -Pike, when he didn’t get anything at the gift shop.

“I don’t want your dirty old plan.”  -Pike, when I told him I had a plan for us that night.

“Those hopped out of me like bunnies.”  -Marcello, telling Pike about his burp this morning.

I loved the video for the Children in Need single. Me and Daughter sat and screamed excitedly at the telly:

“Thomas!”

“Wombles!”

“Scooby!!!!”

“Pingu!!!”

“Chippy Minton!!!!!”

“Who?” asks Daughter, (guess I didn’t bring her up right).

I think it’s a phenomenal piece of work, getting all these animated characters together. Peter Kay described it as “joyous” and I couldn’t agree more. It’s put the biggest smile on our faces and it’s going to be a DVD single!!!! Hurray!!

But where was renowned first bass of the Grumbley and District Choral Society? (You might know him better as Ivor the Engine).

Lua Nova:

atores, diretor e saga em busca de reconhecimento

Se falar da saga Crepúsculo sem recair em preconceitos não é fácil, falar sobre seus protagonistas sem simplesmente rotulá-los é mais difícil ainda. É realmente tentador chamar Robert Pattinson de canastrão, Kristen Stuart de decepcionante e praticamente todo restante do elenco de medíocre, mas por um questão de justiça é preciso um pouco mais de zelo.

• Especial: A saga Crepúsculo (Parte I)

Robert Pattinson (Edward) foi sem dúvida o alvo principal das críticas. Não houve quem – além das fãs histéricas – lhe poupasse dos piores adjetivos. O problema é que facilmente a coisa deixou de ser pontual.  Pattinson tem um currículo curtissimo, nunca tinha sido protagonista de coisa alguma e o seu filme mais conhecido foi  Harry Potter – A Ordem da Fenix, onde fez o Cedric, amigo de Potter que. Se saiu bem no papel, que é bem pequeno, e só.

Kristen Stewart tem um curriculo mais respeitável. Esteve bem em o Quarto do Pânico (2002), como Sarah, a filha de  Judi Foster, e fez uma pequena e expessiva participação em Natureza Selvagem (2007), dirigido por Sean Penn (foto ao lado). Era de se esperar, portanto, que seu desempenho como Bella fosse bem melhor do que foi. Infelizmente Stewart foi caricata. As eternas caretas de ‘descontentes’ ou de ‘contrariada’ ou de ‘contrangida’ de Bella são mais esperadas de atores mirins dos enlatados televisivos americanos, mas não de alguém com alguam experiência.

Tanto Pattinson quanto Stewart são atores jovens e, apesar disso não os eximir da responsabilidade de se apresentarem bem melhor do aquilo que mostraram em Crepúsculo, há de se fazer a ressalva: a direção do filme é igualmente responsável pelo resultado final das interpretações.

• Robert Pattinson pode ser ‘índio’ e gigolô em próximas produções

Como disse na primeira parte desse especial, Catherine Hardwicke foi um desastre na direção desse longa. Se não conseguiu contar a história como devia – também por culpa da roteirista/adaptadora Melissa Rosenberg – ficou mais longe ainda de auxiliar e corrigir os atores. Isso também é função de diretor. É de se notar, por exemplo, que atores mais experientes se saíram bem melhor em seus papéis. Billy Burke, que faz Charlie Swan, o pai de Bella, por exemplo, apesar da participação pequena não deixou a peteca cair. A única coisa que a crítica se questionou foi: “como Burke se  meteu numa furada dessa?”.

Lua Nova (New Moon) e seu novo protagonista

O segundo filme da saga estreia mundialmente dia 20 de novembro. Nem precisava dizer, afinal, Lua Nova deve ter um dos maiores investimentos em publicidade cinematográfica dos últimos anos. Não há sites, blogs que não o estejam comentando. É a palavra mais escrita há dias no twitter. Mesmo que você não queira você vai ouvir falar da produção.

A história agora ganha um novo protagonista. Se em Crepúsculo – tanto no livro quando no filme – Jacob (Taylor Lautner) é pouco mais que um figurante, em Lua Nova ele deixa o vampiro Edward em segundo plano. Robert Pattinson não escondeu de ninguém o alívio ao deixar os holofotes .

Lautner tem mais curriculo que Stewart e Pattinson juntos. Ele é conhecido de enlatados como “Eu, a patro e as crianças” (que até hoje passa no SBT), mas também de grandes produção como O que Há de Novo, Scooby-Doo? e Doze é demais 2 (foto ao lado, ele de branco à direita) . Nada que o credencie a ser chamado de grande ator, é verdade. Mas até mesmo pelo seu desempenho razoável em Crepúsculo, é de se esperar que em Lua Nova ele se saia melhor que seus colegas de elenco.

Aliás, o segundo filme da série traz algumas expectativas. Primeiro, que os atores tenham aprendido com as chicotadas de crítica que levaram e apresentem-se com mais profissionalismo; segundo, que com a mudança de direção – agora é Chris Weitz quem está a frente da saga – a história seja contada de forma mais verossímel; e terceiro, que a Summit tenha gasto com a produção mais do que gastou em propaganda e possamos ver cenas de qualidade, efeitos especiais que não nos lembre os anos 80 e imagens que não nos façam pensar em ‘Malhação’ bem no  meio do filme.

• Lua Nova: Ingressos já estão à venda

Chris Weitz é uma incógnita. Acho impossível que ele se saia pior que Hardwicke, mas seu filme A Bússola de Ouro (2007) não é considerado uma das piores adaptações da literatura para o cinema já feito. Mas também é conhecida a briga entre Weitz e o estúdio New Line por conta do roteiro. O estúdio queria uma coisa, o diretor e o escritor Philip Pullman e aí terminou como terminou. Weitz alega que o próprio estúdio fez mudanças no filme sem sua autorização.

Lua Nova tem o encargo então se der a tentativa de redenção de Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stuart e Chris Weitz. Todos tendo que provar para si mesmo que podem ser melhor do que já fizeram no passado. Quem gosta de cinema precisa sempre torcer a favor de um filme e de seus atores e lhes dar todas as chances possíveis até sua estreia. É o que estou me esforçando para fazer, há um certo custo é verdade.

Leia Mais sobre a Saga Crepúsculo:

• Lua Nova muda história para garantir presença de Robert Pattinson
• Encerram gravações de Eclipse
• Músicas que farão parte da trilha de “Lua Nova”

Leia Mais sobre Vampiros

• Del Toro apresenta seus vampiros
• Deixe Ela Entrar, não deixe de assistir
• Minha Estante: Entrevista com o Vampiro
• Robert Downey Jr. será Lestat

Adriana Chaves

Essa foi uma montagem feita por mim para o Desafio Photoshop Brasil. Fiquei em 16° . O Crítério era usar a primeira imagem que está no mof conforme a criatividade dos participantes.

Scooby Doo, Shaggy, Velma, Daphne, Freddie were driving around in the Mystery Machine when suddenly they hit a bump. ‘Ow’ cried Velma ‘that hurt’. ‘Jinkies’ said Freddie. ‘Seems like the radiator’s finished’ coughed Velma. ‘Zoiks’ cried Scooby and Shaggy. ‘We’re going to that town over there’ called the kids. ‘And bring back some food too’ they called back.

‘Hey Scoob, I know where Velma keeps the Scooby snacks’. So Shaggy opened the back of the Mystery Machine and took out the Scooby snacks. ‘Like it’s the last one’ sighed Shaggy. Then they fighted over it. But then a rabbit with antlers came and ate it. Just then he went into a cave and the cave was dark. ‘Let’s go back’ said Scooby. But just then the alien invaders came. But in the morning they found Crystal and Amber. They went for a ride in Amber’s car to the MP government’s place. She lied to Shaggy. She said she was a nature photographer and she made a confession.

And then they went into the cafe where Lexter and the kids were waiting for them. And just then Lexter stood up and waved his arms frantically and knocked over breakfast that Dottie was carrying. Then the kids went to the pitstop and a man was fixing a car. So then they went out and Shaggy and Scooby and Amber were already in the cave.

To be continued

From the newly printed t-shirts on Threadless, I had no choice but to feature We´ve Got Some Work To Do Now by Travis Pitts. This design had a great score of 3.92 out of 5 when it was submitted for voting. The post-apocalyptic scene is great, the style of drawing is great, the Scooby Doo reference just makes it even better, and details like the RIP heart on the van are just brilliant. If you wanna have a look at this design in more detail, just click on the image, or use the link on the sidebar to go to Threadless’s homepage.
Threadless also announced the release of Threadless Especial, a new line of wall graphics from Threadless+Bilk. You can read about it here.

I’m not the first person to say this, and I certainly won’t be the last, but it needs to be established, factually, through irrefutable argument, that Scooby-Doo and Shaggy are potheads.

This has been addressed before within the Scoobyverse. In the 2oo2 movie, Shaggy’s love interest is named “Mary Jane,” exhibiting an identical level of subtlety as the movie Half Baked. But references in the 2002 film do not change the facts of the matter as they exist in the original 1969 TV program “Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?” However, I nevertheless contend that the original show provides a substantial amount of evidence to prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that Shaggy and Scooby-Doo are not just casual smokers of marijuana, but certifiable potheads.

For one, they eat constantly. And they don’t just eat constantly: they eat anything constantly, the weirder the better, the more indulgent the better. Pizza with ice-cream, Worcester sauce with ice cream, pretty much anything with ice-cream. Not only that, but at the request of famed Top 40 DJ Casey Kasem, the original voice of Shaggy, the character is almost always depicted as a vegetarian. And, of course, we know that all twenty-something male vegetarians are stoners. It’s an irrefutable fact.

Additionally, they are lazy. “Go investigate that haunted house,” Fred says. “Fuck that,” say Shaggy and Scooby. “We’re staying here. There’s tons of shit to eat out here, and we’re happy just hanging out in the van.”

“But there’s a mystery to solve,” Velma reminds them.

“This is rucking ridiculous,” Scooby says. “I’m a rucking rog. Re’re not rupposed to re investigating raranormal activities.” (Did I overdo the Rs? Perhaps.)

Freddy, of course, is the white Protestant male elite. There is no other way to explain his leadership of the group. He gives all the orders but does none of the work, he never gets chased by the monster, and if he does, he never has to do something demeaning to get out of it like pretend to be the monster’s friend or confuse him with a poor facsimile of a diner. “Oh, Mr. Monster, of course, we recommend the soup du jour,” and the monster seems confused, but enticed, and when he’s finally fallen for it, Scooby and Shaggy bolt.

Which of course makes absolutely no sense, because we learn in fifteen minutes that it was a well-educated local running some kind of real-estate scam. “I’ll scare you off the property, and then I’ll be able to buy it for nothing so I can search for the gold alone! Bwahahaha!”

But, of course, the only people who ever seem to talk about the place is the guy himself, who earlier told the Scooby gang not to go to a certain place, which is the only reason they ended up going in the first place. So they’re really biting themselves on the ass with that one.

But Freddy’s privilege is a topic for another day. Back to the stoner issue.

Exhibit C: They are paranoid. Every week they run into one of these supposedly supernatural mysteries, and every week it’s the same thing: guy in a costume. This is one thing I like about Scooby-Doo. It’s the opposite of the X-Files.  In the X-Files, every single episode it turns out to be the least likely explanation. Every time! You would think at least one of the time it would have just been a regular crazy person. But on Scooby-Doo, every time it was a guy in a suit.

And yet, every time Scooby and Shaggy are terrified. They think this is the time it’s a real monster, man. Don’t you see, man? Those other fake monsters have tricked us into a false sense of complacency, man! Don’t you get it?

Fourthly, and I’ve alluded to this before, but THEY LIVE IN A VAN. Now, I know this implicates Freddy, Daphne, and Velma to a degree, as well, but I never felt like their whole existence was the van. Certainly, Daphne had well-to-do parents. Freddy could have expected an easy middle management job in his father’s company when he returned home, and Velma was clearly college bound.

Not so for Shaggy and Scooby. Possessing no apparent skills save an ability to pose as the bait in monster traps (guy-in-a-suit-pretending-to-be-a-monster traps, I guess), they seem to have nothing waiting for them at home.

Number Five: they never drive. They always just hang out in the back of the van, goofing off (or eating). While this might not alone convict them, certainly the preponderance of evidence that came before would.

If you’re not convinced now, you never will be.

Sinopse: Protegendo o inocente, combatendo a injustiça e fazendo grandes refeições com biscoitos Scooby! É isso aí! A dupla de combatentes do crime mais famosa da história, Batman e Robin, soma forças a Scooby-Doo e toda a gangue da Mistérios S.A.
A ação começa quando o Coringa e o Pinguim tentam faturar uma bolada em dinheiro através de um esquema ilegal, somente para, depois, serem detidos pelo Trio Dinâmico: Batman, Robin e Scooby-Doo! Mas o Coringa e o Pinguim retornam para tentar roubar um traje voador: até que Scooby-Doo e seus amigos provam que, com alguma ajuda, eles também conseguem combater esses azarados vilões!

Informação:
Tamanho:695MB
Gênero:Animação/Infantil
Duração:01h22min
Formato:DVDRip
Idioma:Português

Download Scooby-Doo Encontra o Batman
Download KMPlayer Plus 2009

Cateva din cele mai importante personaje de desene animate..daca ma gandesc bine cred ca sunt cele mai iubite din totdeauna.

I aint smelling that for a thousand scooby snacks

Picture by: dunno source Caption by: dunno source via Our LOL Builder

» View All Captions