Yes, I’ve been the legal drinking age for about 1.5 years now and no, I had never had a scorpion bowl until last night. It was quite the experience.

When my friend Lauren texted me and invited me out for these infamous “scorp” bowls I couldn’t resist. Plus, it’s on my list. It was fate.

Lauren, Alicia, Ashlee, and I went to Osaka in downtown Northampton and paid what was considered by us to be too much ($16 for one!). Ashlee said she once ordered one for only $5 somewhere else. Together, we got two and shared in pairs.

Scorpion bowls are quite delicious; fruity and refreshing and carry quite an abundance of rum. Ashlee and I thought ours tasted kind of sandy…there was something grainy-like in the drink but Lauren and Alicia said theirs was fine. Maybe it was just us.

In the middle of the goblet you get is a flame, which was exciting for us. Ashlee, who is the only one of us who has ever had a scorpion bowl before, said that when the flame goes out the liquid left over can be taken as a shot. Alicia and Lauren tasted it a little with their straws but said it mostly just tasted like candle-wax.

We kept trying to think of a funny joke or pun about scorpions and bowls but all Lauren could come up with was “There’s a scorpion in my bowl!” (like “There’s a snake in my boot!”). Hence the title of this post.

Despite the sandy texture that we sometimes got, the drink was fabulous. Perfect for summer but in no way were these drinks the start to a sober night.

Alicia and I on the left and Lauren and Ashlee on the right. And Lauren on the bottom.

Thanks,

Samantha

Great way to end the night (can’t wait to do it again)

Ready to see some buns

I had a stress-filled day

The night began near the American Embassy, where my friend Erin and I grabbed some tapas and then rendez-vous’d with embassy employees.  In the two minute walk between embassy and tapas, I had my friend English celebrity siting: Mark Francis, from Made In Chelsea.  And I freaked out a little.  If you’ve read the blog much, you know I regard Made in Chelsea as the ultimate guilty pleasure and I’ve been a regular watcher since arriving in this country.  So the night kicked off with a little thrill.

We went to a club called Amber, near the Barbican Centre.  It was a sprawling nightclub complex, really, which three different dance floors.  We stuck to the one that had a light-up Rubik’s Cube dance floor and go-go dancers (some on roller skates) wearing orange legwarmers.  For me, though, the highlight of Amber was the giant disco-ball drinks – the only other place I’d had communal drinks like that was at Asian restaurants, where they’re typically called Scorpion Bowls.  But these came served in the bottom half of a disco ball.

We were among the last to leave the club, around midnight, when we went to a bar a few blocks away (it had a sort of vintage feel and a big booth for all of us, but I forget what it was called or where it is).  And then around 1:30 am, we went to a Bar Nightjar.  I am obviously unschooled in London nightlife, but Nightjar is apparently a big deal.  By showing up at 1:30, we were able to waltz right in and get a booth in a little alcove in the back, and then we each got an incredibly complicated, lovingly-crafted cocktail.  When they kicked us out hours later, we paused at the little stage (pictured above, although the picture is an advertisement) to play some Beatles tunes. The waitstaff was so bemused by this display that they just stood there and waited for us to finish.

I didn’t realise until later, but when I told my friend Robert we’d gone there he said “And you just walked in? No waiting? No crappy table?So lucky!”  So my advice is, if you go, go really, really late at night.

The next day, having not really recovered, I left for Switzerland and had a mercifully wholesome holiday, with lots of looking at cathedrals and brisk walking and bread and cheese, but not a lot of copious quantities of alcohol.

On to the birthday party recap! Yes, this was my third birthday event - my friends and I really like birthdays, what can I say!

For the past few years, I’ve host my nearest and dearest at a themed birthday event. We’ve done all kinds of events: luaus, pirate ships,  angels & devils and few others in there.  This year was no exception. I pulled together my pals for an AmericANNE Idol style Karaoke Bash at Kings in Boston. As some of you know, my name is Anne – so AmericANNE Idol seemed like a perfectly punny birthday theme to me.  SO. MUCH. FUN. As you may remember from my bestie’s Bachteawer Weekend;  we like to do it up.

Before the guests arrived,  I decorated the judges tables.  We need to keep things looking professional, you know?

I bought wristbands for all the contestants that had darling phrases on them like “trashed’, “wasted” or “pickled” – all in good fun, you see?

I next welcomed all the guests to the competition:

Some of the contestants bound for glory (wow, I take terrible group shots)

And then I passed out mustaches….

And more mustaches…..

And one more mustache……

My pal Stacey once said “Mustaches are fun” – oh yes, they sure are.

In addition to mustaches, I had hats and costumes for the contestants to put on to ahem, help with their singing.

A few of these also helped with their singing.

Everyone enjoyed some drinks and appetizers (standard bare fare) while we waited for karaoke to get set up.

Once everyone was properly fueled (ie slightly liquored up) the real fun began.

Contestants doing their best to make their dreams come true:

What is a competition without scoring. We had a very meticulous scoring system in place. As you can see, ethics were of the highest order.

After a neck in neck competition (ie whoever was left at the end of the night) – was crowned our AmericANNE Idol!

• Bean – Most Original
• Rude – Best Effort
• Nurse – Most prize-begging
• American Idol Winner:  Nandrea!

We are the champions

Our runners up won Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards; and while our Idol didn’t win a recording contract; she did win an itunes gift card. Please note that several of the winners are drinking out of their trophy cups. True champions.

I kind of love all of these people. Alot.

We ended the night with one of these beauties.

A winning end to a great night.

Salad. Out.

Haha, this is funny. Someone needs to do this.

I know what you’re wondering, Ava V., you write about dating all the time, but you never give any tips to men.  Well here’s one that’s pretty simple:

Want me to let you in on a little secret girls keep?  If you’re reasonably good-looking (not gorgeous more like average), you can get most girls to like you.  But how you ask?  Show interest.  Yes, it’s that simple!  Most any girl will look at you differently once you show interest, and will say to herself, “you know, he’s actually kind of cute.”  This happens so often, and to be honest it happened to me with a few guys (oh sophomore year…why was I always the one getting hit on by bouncers?).  They weren’t the cutest guys, but they were nice, showed interest, and most importantly weren’t creepy.  You must show interest without being creepy, which for some of you is probably a bit tricky.  So I’ll lay out some examples of what NOT to say for you.

1. If you think she’s cute don’t ask her if she works at the Foxy Lady.

2. Don’t ask her if she’s drunk yet.

3. Never text/call past 11 pm unless you saw her out previously.  Even still use caution.

4. Don’t ask her to go get scorpion bowls at 3 in the afternoon.

5. Don’t make animal noises in her presence.

Just remember if you’re not sure if you’re seeming creepy you probably are.  And if you’re still not sure email me (avavmail@gmail.com).

P.S. All of the examples of what not to say came from text messages in my inbox. 

After the responses I got from Cosmo’s Best Places To Meet Men, I decided to continue my attack on the magazine.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great magazine for the beach or plane trip, but it’s so superficial and it ignores all the real issues.  So with that said, let’s take a look at what Cosmo calls “Four Guys You Think You Should Date…but Shouldn’t!” and my reasons why you should.

Guy #1: The Adrenaline Junkie

Cosmo describes these men as guys that will do “anything for that rush.”  They’ll go skydiving, run with the bulls, or anything else that sparks fear in most people.  I, myself, have a fear of heights, so getting me on a ferris wheel is a huge accomplishment.  Yet there is a reason for me and others to date someone like this…it gets us out of our comfort zone.  They’ll add some spice to your life and get you to do something that in their mind is mild like surfing or the NASCAR experience.  Even if you just have the chance to date a guy like this once, do it and I swear you won’t regret it (I don’t).

Guy #2: Nice Guy with a Chip on His Shoulder

These are the nice guys deep down but for one reason or another they spend most of their time picking on others.  This is one type of guy most of us probably dated in high school.  You dated them until you realized how much of a loser they are for tooling on other people all the time.  This is one guy Cosmo actually got right.

Guy #3: Smooth Operator

These are the Casanovas.  They have lots of confidence and give girls lots of attention, and obviously you’re never the only one they’re looking at.  But if you’re looking for fun, they’re it.  They take you out for scorpion bowls, throw great Halloween parties, or just say lines like “why are you a zero when you can be with a hero” (yes that line was used on me by a smooth operator).  They’re not great for a serious relationship, but they’re someone everyone needs to date in time.

Guy #4: Workaholic Hotshot

These guys work all the time, so they’re pretty loaded.  So it’s important to understand you will be the second love in their life because money will always be first.  If you want someone to shower you with gifts and expensive dinners this guy will do it.  He’ll make you feel special at moments and like dirt the next (hey, that’s starting to sound like most relationships).  If you want arm candy, he’s a good choice.  But if you want more of a reason to date him other than to show him off to your friends, I’d suggest someone who will put in the time.  So maybe Cosmo got this one right too….damn them.

In my experience I’ve dated guys like all of ones listed above.  I’m glad I got a wide variety in the mix, but other than that they just make good memories.  I guess the point of this post is to say you’ll only know what you want by finding out what you don’t.  So get out there and date guys you wouldn’t ordinarily and for me that could mean dating “nerds.”