There can be no debate on what the greatest Christmas movie of all time is: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.  An argument can perhaps be made for Elf.  Or Home Alone.  Or Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.  Or the underrated Bill Murray classic, Scrooged.  Okay, nevermind.  (While we’re on the subject of Christmas movies, I watched Fred Claus last night and it’s definitely underrated — or maybe I just like Vince Vaughn a lot.)

I’m going to follow RV:WT’s lead here and add a few things to the “Lexpatriates Recommends” section of this site.

Dexter is a show I would have never gotten into if it weren’t for the fact that the cable plan at my last apartment included essentially free Showtime; we paid a penny a day for it for a year.  This amazing deal combined with the fact that the only good original dramas you ever hear about on the pay channels come from HBO made me think that Showtime probably sucked.  But Dexter has become one of my favorite shows.  I’ve been catching up on Season 4 (which ended a couple weeks ago I think) through On Demand.  The show is essentially about Dexter, the “protagonist,” the “Everyman,” trying to balance his busy life and maintain his sanity.  He has a wonderful family, friends that care about him, a job he’s passionate about (blood-spatter analyst for the Miami Police’s homicide department), and an urge…to kill.  Serially.  Of course, Dexter lives by a code: he kills only those who deserve it.  He delivers justice to those whom the courts fail to properly convict when he, because of his job, knows with certainty the damning evidence.  Witnessing his mother murdered and cut into pieces when he was only 2 years old certainly contributes to his dark murderous compulsion.

There are several things that I think make Dexter interesting, great, entertaining drama.  First, the show explores that inherent human darkness that lies in us all — the “dark passenger,” as Dexter calls it. What do we do about it? Second, the show’s wickedly dark sense of humor.  Both of these themes are apparent through great voice-over narration from Dexter, something that if done wrong can ruin a show.  Third, Dexter trying to keep his secret life hidden from everyone else — his girlfriend, his sister, his co-workers whom he spends time with trying to catch other serial killers.  To me, the most interesting of these is his girlfriend, Rita, who eventually (not really giving anything away) becomes his wife, and her two kids. At first, his family might seem only a cover-up to make his life seem “normal.”  But throughout the seasons it becomes clear that he really cares about his family and wants to be there for them.  Put simply, a large portion of the show revolves around the tension between Dexter wanting a family he can love and be open and honest with, and the urges to kill that, understandably, he can share with no one.  Make no mistake, Dexter is at times uncomfortable to watch, not only for intensely violent and bloody sequences and because it’s unashamedly dark, but because you find yourself pulling for a serial killer.  CSI, eat your heart out.

I don’t know a lot about 3D movies.  Some say it’s the future of the movies (please God no), some say it’s just a gimmick.  No matter how you feel about it, one thing is for certain: I don’t see how the 2D version of Avatar can even compare to its 3D counterpart.  I have to say that watching a movie on the big screen in 3D is at first a little weird; you almost get queasy.  But once everything settles into view it becomes quite a cool experience.  I didn’t really know what this movie was about going in so I’ll try and give a quick summary here.  US scientists and military officers have set up shop on a planet called Pandora inhabited by people called the Na’vi.  There is a special and unique mineral only found on Pandora called Unobtanium.  The scientists want to study it and the Na’vi culture and environment, the military higher-ups want exploit the mineral and the people to make money.  To get an “inside look” they create avatars, or blue bodies that look like the Na’vi.  To imagine how the avatar works, think about those things that screw into the back of your head in The Matrix to transport you into the Matrix — I mean think exactly that.  Trouble ensues, inter-species love blossoms, good battles evil.  Pretty standard fare.  The story may not be original, but the way it’s told with 3D and great special effects is pretty awesome.  I don’t know enough about movies to know if Avatar is a breakthrough, all I know is that it does big and loud and computerized right.  You become totally immersed in the world of Pandora.  The last battle is epic.  The last scene of the movie works perfectly.  I’ve read where some people are upset because of the “apparent” message(s) the movie “apparently” promotes.  I say, who cares?  It’s a big-budget action flick.  Go enjoy it.

The only kind of music my dad listens to is Bluegrass…and John Prine.  He owns every John Prine album, and there was a time I didn’t understand why.  Prine’s songs are relatively simple (he’s admitted to knowing only 3 chords, though he obviously knows a few more) and his voice isn’t great by typical standards.  But one day I heard his words, full of honesty and humor; words that are pushed to the forefront by the simplicity of the melodies and words that came to endear his voice to my ears.  His album Souvenirs is a “greatest hits” of sorts; he takes some of his old classics, strips them down to mostly lush, acoustic production, and re-records them.  In fact, I will let Prine explain the album in his own words:

These songs are beautiful. They have been faithful companions throughout the years, never letting me down and constantly making me new friends, even when I was sleeping.

I re-recorded these songs so I could have my own master recordings of the songs. This collection of newly recorded versions was originally intended for European release only, as I have always wanted to be popular in Germany.

After we mixed, sequenced and listened to the songs, all of us at Oh Boy decided that perhaps we should release this in the U. S., as I would like to be popular there as well.

I hope you enjoy these recordings. If not, I promise to not re-record these songs for another 30 years.

Sincerely,
John Prine
President
Oh Boy Records

Some great lines to whet your appetite:

Just give me one good reason
And I promise I won’t ask you any more
Just give me one extra season
So I can figure out the other four -”Blue Umbrella”

Please don’t bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I’d rather have ‘em cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don’t mind the size -”Please Don’t Bury Me”

I’ve been popping in this album quite a bit in the last few weeks. Definitely check out some Prine. Prine Shrine Website

Anyway, the Cats are 13-0 (if you didn’t know), and we have plenty more basketball-related posts on the way, so stay tuned.

Merry Christmas!

From Another Day At The Office, I would like to wish everyone HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!

In addition to the Dunking on that Reindeer video I posted earlier, I would like to post some of my favorite moments from Christmas movies.

First, of course, Last Christmas by Wham. I know everyone is all about Mariah Carey’s christmas song, but I favor the 80s Wham Christmas song a lot more!

Continue after the jump for the rest of the videos

The Island of Misfit Toys from “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”. One of my favorite songs from that movie. A gun that shoots jelly is CLASSIC!! A jack-in-the-box named Charlie? HIGHLARIOUS!!!

The ending scene of “A Charlie Brown Christmas”. This a good moment in the movie, next to the dance scene, lol.

My favorite Christmas movie of all time is “Scrooged” starring Bill Murray. This is the last scene in the movie when Bill’s character finds the true meaning of Christmas.

Since it’s Christmas Eve, here’s some Christmas stuff I like without comment and in no particular order:

I blog a lot about movies and television and books of course so I thought maybe I should make a list of my fav Holiday shows. Why not, right?

1. So Called Angels – My all-time fav is a surprise but an easy one for me. This is an episode from the television series My So Called Life which has often been called one of the best tv shows ever to be cancelled. This episode makes a serious point about what the holiday spirit really is and concentrates on personal relationships and homeless teens. Yet, for all it’s serious aim, it also has a couple really funny scenes in the script. This show made Claire Danes a star and for good reason. The theme song from this episode – Make Your Way Home – I’ve actually heard at a couple Christmas gatherings this season. Great show. Great song.

2. Scrooged - Hey it is a funny take on the Christmas Carol story and who doesn’t laugh at Bill Murray? This use to get shown on tv quite a bit but someone must’ve bought the rights because I haven’t seen it at all this season. Guess I need to buy the dvd.

3. It’s A Wonderful Life - When I was a kid you literally couldn’t turn on a tv the two weeks before Christmas and not find this movie playing on a channel somewhere. Often it would be playing on 2 or 3 channels at once. I think we all can relate to life in Bedford Falls to some degree. Way to go Frank Capra and Jimmy Stewart.

4. Christmas Carol - I have a tie about which is my favorite one between Patrick Stewart and the George C. Scott version. Both are well done and this story just never ages does it?

5. West Wing Season 1 - This show was good if not a little rosy in it’s portrayal but the first season Christmas episode about a White House aide whose card is found in a coat he donated on a homeless vet who froze to death is really good. The aide overstretches his reach a bit to arrange a proper military funeral. It’s just a good episode. You would think with all these shows about homelessness we’d get the picture but we don’t I guess.

6. Christmas Story - This movie has of course become a modern classic. My favorite part being where the mom calls another mom to tell her that her son said a dirty word and you hear the mom go “What???” drop the phone, walk across the room and just smack the kid. Then you hear the kid yelling “What’d I do?” It’s a funny movie and of course a boost to Chinese restaurants everywhere.

Happy Holidays everyone!

I’ve been thinking about posting this list for a long time. I’ve gone back and forth on it, but finally decided “what the hell.” So here it is.

There is only ONE requirement for this list, it has to take place on, or around, Christmas. That’s it. It doesn’t have to BE about Christmas, it just has to take place on, or around, it. Period.

You’ll notice the list is relatively new. There isn’t a single black and white movie on it. It’s not that I haven’t seen those old black and white movies, I have, I just don’t get the warm and fuzzies from them. And maybe since they’re so old, I feel like they’re cliche, even though they’re the movies that actually created the cliches in the first place.

Bottom line, this is my list, based on my preference, and I can totally agree with people who have different lists. I’m not going to say my list is the best, it’s just my list.

So here we go:

1. Die Hard
2. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
3. A Christmas Story
4. Lethal Weapon
5. Home Alone
6. Love Actually
7. A Charlie Brown Christmas
8. Scrooged
9. Elf
10. Gremlins

Why Die Hard at number 1? Why not!? It’s one of my favorite movies of all time, and it takes place on Christmas. So there you go. That’s enough to make it to number one on my list.

I hope everyone has a great Holiday season!

Enjoy.
-Steve

P.S. Having a cold for Christmas sucks.

That’s right its Christmassssssss time! More so then any other time of the year Christmas is chock full of traditions. There are simple ones like the candle lit Christmas eve mass and family parties. Then you get things like The Christmas Pickle.

An ancient Teutonic tradition (god bless the Germans!) the Christmas Pickle Ornament is as essential to a properly festooned Christmas tree as a star or angel are to most American trees. The story goes that the head of the family would hide a jar of Claussen pickles the prized pickle ornament in the tree and the children would compete to find it – the first to spot the pickle won a prize.

Or the Krampus

In Austria and some of the rural parts of Eastern Europe, there is a pre-Christian tradition that has hung around still today. It is the Krampus, an incubus who is considered by many the “evil alter-ego” to good ole Santa Claus. On December 5, bands of debaucherers outfitted in Krampus-wear (really elaborate and scary masks, horns, and sheepskin coats) roam the streets, drunk, looking for trouble, whipping those who’ve “been bad” (i.e. are standing within striking distance).

How about Broom hiding in Norway?

The hiding of all brooms on Christmas Eve night is a very old Norwegian tradition. In the old days people believed witches and evil spirits come out on this night looking for brooms to ride on, so they hid them in the safest places possible. Today, Norwegian women still hide their brooms, mops and brushes before going to sleep, while the men sometimes sneak out of the house and fire a shotgun to scare off the witches.

Not your cup of tea? Are you a single woman? Try Shoe tossing

In the Czech Republic single women perform a very unusual ritual on Christmas Eve Day, to find out if they will marry in the following year. With their backs to the house door, they throw one of their shoes over their shoulder. If the shoe lands with the heel towards the door, she will definitely stay single for another year, while if the front of the shoe points towards the door, it means she will move out of her parents’ house, and she should start making wedding preparations.

Now on to the traditions the wifey and I have. First is generally wrapping the remaining presents (though often this happens the morning of as we wait for the family!) This year is pretty different in that we’ve actually both finished wrapping presents way ahead of time. Go us!

The other tradition (going on 2 years now) is the family (her mom, step mom, dad and sis) come over to our tiny apartment for small breakfast and to open presents. My family (who I miss dearly) lives in Florida and so do not get to come over. Later that night we go to her moms or her dads house for dinner (it switches) and there are the traditional friends party.

Another one that we’ve done the last couple of years is having friends over for dinner sometime in December. This year it took place the Sunday before Christmas. We the wifey cooks a delicious main course and the friends bring the sides, apps and desserts. There will be talking, hugging (present giving sometimes) drinking and much laughter. Someone may or may not chug the last vestiges of a rum bottle. A good time is all.

Love the eggnog the night before. Yum! One of these days we’ll make our own.

The wife and I also started a tradition of buying each other a Christmas Tree Ornament each year. We give each other these ornaments the night before Christmas. We’re gonna need a bigger tree soon probably:

This is all leads up to the real tradition. We watch Bill Murray in Scrooged. Never heard of or seen it? Oh man that pains me. Watch it! If you hate it that is okay (opinions are like assholes and all that jazz) but don’t tell me because I may hate you forever. We settle in together on the couch and watch this movie every year. We quote it year round and I could probably recite the entire movie line for line.

Scrooged trailer:

What are your traditions? Oh an Merry F’ing Christmas all of you!!!

On this day before Christmas Eve, it seemed like a good time to list my top five Christmas movies/specials:

1. A Christmas Story - Ralphie and his determined quest for a Red Rider B.B. Gun.  Along the way are flat tires, special “Italian” lamps, and tongues stuck to flag poles.  A classic.
2. A Charlie Brown Christmas – Charlie Brown goes looking for the real meaning of Christmas.  Forty years later, it is still the best.  A timeless classic (even though t.v. execs dismissed it as too religious).
3. Elf - Buddy the Elf pursues a relationship with his estranged father while getting acclimated to the “human” world.  Funny stuff and a great soundtrack to boot.
4. The Grinch Who Stole Christmas – Not the Jim Carey live action thing.  The original with Boris Karloff reading and Chuck Jones animating.
5. Scrooged – Bill Murray stars in a contemporary telling of A Christmas Carol.
6. Home Alone – “AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!”  One child left alone versus Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern.

“It’s Christmas Eve. It’s-it’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we-we-we smile a little easier, we-w-w-we-we-we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year we are the people that we always hoped we would be.” Bill Murray as Frank Cross in Scrooged

Well, not exactly Christmas Eve….but who’s counting?

Well just a couple of days left until Christmas Eve which if you are Catholic, Anglican or Orthodox actually counts the same as Christmas day for sacramental purposes.  The Parish that the Abbess attends is having its “Midnight Mass” at 9 PM but I should not criticize.  When I was out visiting the little camps of advisers on the Iraqi-Syrian border in 2007 I moved the Christmas Eve Vigil Mass to the 23^rd for the Marines and other advisers at COP South.  I figured no one else was out doing Christmas with these guys so why not, after all it was already Christmas Eve somewhere.

Anyway, I want to take this time to thank my readers and wish them a Merry Christmas, unless of course they are Jewish, Happy Hanukah.  Of course I have other friends and readers who are of different faiths or non-faiths.  I wish all my Wiccan readers a belated Happy Winter Solstice, my Moslem readers a Happy Eid. To my Atheist readers have a happy day off. Finally to the Jehovah’s Witness readers, sorry you get no presents and not only that if you guys are right only about one half of one percent of you will get to do anything other than pick fruit and pet animals for eternity anyway so enjoy. Heck even Atheists can buy presents for people at Christmas without any guilt because it helps the economy and makes people feel good.

So since everyone has reason to celebrate let us do so.  Of course many still have some hurdles to get over before you can open whatever presents you get, buy for yourself or can’t have because you’re a Jehovah’s Witness.  Among those things are fighting crowded malls, post offices, bad traffic and people infected with the holiday spirit which I think might also be called “road rage.”  Anyway most of us will navigate these treacherous waters as we travel over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s second ex-husband’s girlfriend’s brother’s house for some holiday cheer.  Actually the Abbess and I will spend it together and with our friends Pat and Jim, but most people call him Jim for Christmas day.

Anyway all seriousness aside the holidays, whichever one you celebrate, or don’t celebrate can be fraught with dangers toils and snares; from some of which we have not already come.  Yes there are the “Ghosts of Christmas Past,” the Christmas’s or other holidays that went to hell and are forever embedded in the back of our pea brains just waiting to jump out in the middle of the night.  Of course there are the “Ghost’s of Christmas Present,” the “demons” that crowd our daily lives that show up when we don’t want them to and causing us stress, pain and undue anxiety.  Finally there are the “Ghost’s of Christmas Yet to Come” that inhabit our dreams and either causing us to give in to fatalism and despair or to make a change for the better, I believe that in the latter case Christians call this repentance, but regardless of what it is called it is the better option.  Christmas and I guess other folk’s holidays can do this to you.

I mentioned in a previous article on this site about my crisis of faith since my return from Iraq how difficult Christmas can be and how fragile faith can be.  For a lot of people the holidays bring up all the hurt, pain, failure and rejection they have ever experienced rolled into a big turd sandwich served cold with chips instead of fries and Pepsi instead of Coke. Having gone through this last year I can understand just how people can despair in a time that should be full of hope, grace and peace. One person I know told me that Charlie Brown couldn’t compete with them. I

In our house this can be a difficult time mainly due to the Ghosts of Christmas past that inhabit both of our lives and the “Ghosts of Christmas Yet to Come: which occasionally pay their visits.  However we work hard not to let that happen. Over the past few weeks the Abbess has been working on making decorations for our tree.  Now we have tons of decorations for the tree, many from Germany.  However she has decided that she decided she wanted to do something different this year.  She made what has to be hundreds of ornaments out of various beads, crystals, ribbons and bows.  Between that and a lot of other activities we are exhausted.  I ended up after she went to bed decoration the tree.  The ornaments look great. I went to bed and of course got up before her to go to work. I turned on the tree lights and turned the other lights off. The tree was beautiful and when she got up she got to see the fruit of her hard work.  It was cool and the tree is beautiful.

Today I was fortunate to get off a bit early.  I was able to get home and go with the Abbess to visit East Berlin to do some shopping.  This to locals is known as the base commissary although Wal-Mart is often very similar.  If you have read anything on this site regarding my dealings with the Ghost of PTSD know that crowds are not good for me unless they are in a ballpark. The commissary is a place that I do not like going but it was a necessary trip.  I survived though it did feel like my skin was crawling as I got stuck in the far corner of the store were the checkout line began, just like the stores in East Berlin before the Wall came down.  Having been to East Berlin and waited in long lines in crowded stores to attempt to buy what was not there I get flashbacks, especially when the line Nazi, or better put Line Stasi agent tells you which checkout stand to proceed to when you get to the front of the line.

Now I’m sure that many of you will visit your own version of East Berlin be it in a mall, a Wal-Mart or a base Exchange or commissary in the next couple of days, but be of good cheer in spite of everything you won’t have to brave this again until the 26^th when you have to take stuff back and deal with people in worse moods and dispositions than those that were out before Christmas as well as those who are angling for bargains and willing to kill you to get them. I can understand why Frank Costanza created “a Festivus for the rest of us.”  Of course in my family we sometimes experienced the airing of grievances but not the feats of strength associated with that holiday.  Serenity now!

So until Christmas or whatever holiday that you might or might not celebrate let us “don we now our happy clothing” as we “deck the halls” while we drive our SUVs to Grandmother’s ex-second husband’s girlfriend’s house to watch football games in anticipation of baseball season as spring training begins in just under two  months.

So until then have a blessed Christmas or whatever holiday you do or don’t do this year.

Peace, Padre Steve+

As someone who was not really fond of the holiday season for years — long story with familiar elements: divorce, family tension, bills, et cetera — I’m sort of surprised how many of my favorite movies are Christmas-themed. It starts with Die Hard, which is still one of the great action flicks of all time, where John McClane hands out whupass from a seemingly bottomless Santa bag in some of the best set pieces leavened with humor ever done.

Then there’s The Sure Thing, an underrated and underappreciated movie that was John Cusack’s first starring role.

Cusack plays a desperate college freshman traveling to L.A. to get laid. Directed by Rob Reiner, this could have been just another 80s teenage sex comedy. But the brilliant script by Steve Bloom and Jonathan Roberts is filled with sharp dialogue and smart scenes, like this one, delivered with veteran timing by Cusack:

Then, when I met my endlessly wonderful wife, I discovered her Christmas tradition: watching The Ref, with Denis Leary, Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis. It’s a deeply strange, unsentimental and still very funny look at how the holidays are almost always improved by an armed intruder.

When it comes to  more traditional Christmas movies, Scrooged is one of the only takes on the Dickens classic that I can stomach, even with all the souvenirs of another decade it includes, like Bobcat Goldthwait, “a top-of-the-line VCR,” David Johansen, and such. It has Bill Murray, and his performance can outshine any number of trouble spots. His dry, matter-of-fact delivery grounds every moment, no matter how strange or maudlin, right down to the dirt floor of reality. And if you don’t tear up at his closing monologue, well, you’re dead inside.

But my all-time favorite Christmas movie — and one of my all-time favorite movies — is Love Actually, which features a cast of mostly British actors being so ridiculously beautiful, smart and charming you wonder why all our lives can’t be a Richard Curtis movie.

With a cast that includes Liam Neeson, Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Colin Firth, Laura Linney and more, there are too many great scenes to list. Seriously, just go pick up the DVD. But here is my favorite:

Oh, and I’m also pretty fond of the line where the kid says, “All right, Dad. Let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by love.”

Merry Christmas and God bless us, every one.

One of the things I remember loving as a kid was that glorious, inexorable build up towards Christmas. Teachers became increasingly apathetic. Parents more frantic and thus more susceptible to nagging. And from about mid December onwards you always found yourself inundated with crappy Christmas themed movies.

Movies about Christmas angels teaching children the true meaning of the holiday season. Movies about old men who may… or may not… but just may actually be ol’ jolly Saint Nick. The Christmas episodes of your favorite cartoons (how were the Flintstones celebrating the birth of Christ in prehistoric Bedrock? Magic). And who of my generation has successfully managed to block out 1985’s ‘Santa Claus: The Movie’? Someone actually thought it was a good idea to make THIS guy:

John Lithgow in a more stable moment

… the villain in a live action kid’s film about Santa. And for him to say “Puce Juice” a lot.

However times passes. Childhood ends. Innocence dies. As do puppies. But at least we still got da movies!

Christmas movies have become an exercise in out’n'out suckitude recently. God knows what possessed Vince Vaughn to make ‘Fred Claus’ and ‘Four Holidays’ back to back. I hear ‘Elf’ is alright, but I think I can live without seeing Will Ferrell in tights.

Nor do I have ANY interest in seeing Tim Allen play Santa over and over and over again. Tim Allen? You just know that someone out there remembered that retarded ‘hoh hoh hoh hoh’ sound he used to make on ‘Home Improvement’ and screamed “Eureka! Hoh hoh hoh? What about ho ho ho! Gentlemen, we have our Santa!”

Go back to Tool Time, asshole!

That being said, I have a few festive faves tucked up my sleeves, and no, none of them are the usual It’s A Wonderful Miracle on a Reindeer’s Christmas Carol. Or whatever.

Ladies and gents, the Monkey’s Top 5 Yuletide Movies of choice:

5. JINGLE ALL THE WAY

Yes, I’m recommending another movie I haven’t actually seen. I spent a cumulative total of 6 years working in video and DVD stores, and you wouldn’t believe the demand for this piece of shit from December 20th-24th. The other 51 weeks of the year? Nada.

Just enjoy the idea that someone convinced the mighty Arnold Schwarzenegger that pulling THAT face was the best way to promote his movie. And to think during filming he could have ‘accidentally’ snapped Jake Lloyd and spared us all that particular take on Anakin Skywalker…

4. HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMASSir Anthony Hopkins solemnly narrating a Dr. Seuss book is weird. All those people wearing bizarre Seuss-ian make-up is weirder still. But one urban legend about this movie takes the cake…

Ron Howard wanted to audition Jim Carrey for the role of the titular green sominabitch. Unfortunately he chose to audition him whilst Jim was in the midst of making cruddy Andy Kaufman biopic, ‘Man on the Moon’. Carrey went completely cuckoo-magoo playing Kaufman, so much so that he had to audition as Andy Kaufman playing Jim Carrey playing The Grinch. One can only guess at what went through Howard’s mind… before bringing Carrey on board and paying him an estimated $20 million for his performance.

It IS the season for giving I guess.

3. SCROOGED

Because there was a time when all Bill Murray cared about was being pants-shittingly funny. A dark take on the Christmas Carol we’ve seen a billion times, this movie was supposed to be darker still until studio execs came to their senses / ruined our fun. Brief glimpses of what this movie should have been are seen in the little details…

Murray plays Frank Cross, a heartless TV exec (there’s another kind?) that needs to learn the true meaning of blahblahblah. Behind Frank’s desk, his wall is emblazoned in huge letters with the dictionary definition-like:

‘Cross – something people get nailed to’.

Ouch! If you haven’t seen it, you won’t be disappointed.

2. BAD SANTAIn what must have been quite a stretch for Billy Bob Thornton, he plays an ill-tempered, child hating, alcoholic asshole who takes a job as a department store Santa so as to rob it with his midget crim buddy, who’s posing as an elf.

Of the 5 movies I’m listing, ‘Bad Santa’ easily has the most anal sex jokes (unless there’s deleted scenes in The Grinch I haven’t seen yet), which makes it fun for the whole family in my book. You gather round the tree, eating pudding and sugar cookies whilst Junior asks you what “You’re not gonna shit right for a week” means… now THAT’S Christmas. Yup, it’s gonna be a while before we get the Rankin & Bass version of ‘Bad Santa’.

Sharp writing, great performances… the only thing lacking that could have pushed this film to another level was Bill Murray, who had to withdraw from the project due to scheduling issues with ‘Lost in Translation’. Damn you, Sofia Coppola!

1. DIE HARDIt taught us how to laugh. It taught us how to love. It taught us how to make fists with our toes…

‘Die Hard’.

How is this a Christmas film? Well, it DOES take place on Christmas eve. It DOES have Christmas music (as performed by Run DMC). And we even get a weird Santa impression from Alan ‘Motherf’n’ Rickman.

Not only do we get Bruce Willis turning the cool factor up to 11, but its a film that espouses the purest ideals of the season. John McClane always puts his family first, even when his wife changes her last name (oh that Holly Gennaro). He’s always prepared to give (machine gun fire) rather than receive. By sharing and caring with his new black cop buddy Al, John helps Al to learn and grow and to eventually kill again (death by cop, baby). And just like Jesus, he’ll pummel a Euro-scum terrorist to death with his bare hands if the situation calls for it.

We could all stand to learn something from John McClane.

Until next time, I’ll be adding that chesty Bonds singlet to my Christmas list and trying to achieve male pattern baldness as quickly as possible. May your days be Yippee-kay-ay and Motherfucker,

BPM

]]> http://lordwhatsmymotivation.wordpress.com/2009/12/21/top-20-christmas-movies-everyone-should-watch/ Mon, 21 Dec 2009 03:20:17 +0000 erikball123 http://lordwhatsmymotivation.wordpress.com/2009/12/21/top-20-christmas-movies-everyone-should-watch/ http://theinternationalmom.wordpress.com/2009/12/20/scrooged/ Sun, 20 Dec 2009 18:40:38 +0000 theinternationalmom http://theinternationalmom.wordpress.com/2009/12/20/scrooged/ http://dtmmr.wordpress.com/2009/12/19/scrooged-1988/ Sat, 19 Dec 2009 19:15:53 +0000 cmrok93 http://dtmmr.wordpress.com/2009/12/19/scrooged-1988/

Bill Murray would be the best scrooge of all-time.

Cold-hearted TV exec Bill Murray is about to discover the true meaning of Christmas — the hard way. This wild, woolly spin on Dickens’s A Christmas Carol sees Murray visited by three high-spirited spirits … and while there are laughs aplenty, Murray’s reformation and redemption are immensely powerful.

The film is basically a modern re-telling of the Dickens’s novel A Christmas Carol. We see all things that we have seen in others: how much of a jerk the main character is, three different ghosts, and as always the change at the end of the story.

The film is a basic and humorous take on a lot of the TV industry. There were little inside, ironic jokes that actually did make me laugh. They weren’t forced even if they did seem a little lackluster at points.

I felt at times though it was a bit of a cheap imitation of Murray’s highly other famous film, Ghostbusters. Some jokes are more obvious than others, but once you hear them you will know exactly what the lame reference is. Also, many jokes that happened were funny, but they kept on going on and on with them to the point of where I was just annoyed.

Bill Murray looks like he is having a lot of fun with this film all the way throughout. The ad-libs he uses are funny, and he plays this character that goes through many transitions and doesn’t seem unbelievable at all.

The ending is what had me cringe a lot more than others. In every little Christmas movie there’s always a sweet and poignant little message. That sweet and little message was kind of ruined here, as Murray delivers the final message in a very awkward and shouting way to where you don’t even seem like your having a good time.

Consensus: Not the ideal Christmas film, Scrooged with its style and humor, but features a good lead performance from Murray and at times funny jokes.

6/10=Rental!!!

can it really only be one more week? (sad sigh)

regretfully, i’ve yet to feel the fa la la.

even with a tree that would resurrect liberace, boughs of holly decking my halls, and celine dion feliz navidad-ing me  every four hours on sirius radio (the only way french-canadien chanteuses can) i still can’t get into the holiday humor.

usually a couple “o holy nights”,

a whiff of belle fleur neroli pine,

and a few venti drips in the “special” cup

and i’m ready to ho ho ho.

but so far. bleh.

it’s time to bring in hollywood.

the following films never fail to jingle my jolly buttons. i usually watch them on or the day before christmas. but you know what they say: desperate times call for cuter outfits!!

here are my best-loved holiday humdingers.

"scrooged"....had to use this shot since it's my favorite scene (big smile).

have to say…..just amassing the movies and links (click the images for film info) is getting me into a one horse open sleigh kinda mood.

have a ring-a-ling, hear them sing weekend friends.

]]> http://padresteve.wordpress.com/2009/12/16/2349/ Thu, 17 Dec 2009 04:59:03 +0000 padresteve http://padresteve.wordpress.com/2009/12/16/2349/

A few thoughts for the mid-week…

First an Icon of American Religious life passed away yesterday.  Oral Roberts died at the age of 91.  Regardless of one’s views of his ministry, theology or lifestyle Reverend Roberts was a trendsetter. For better or worse he was a major influence on American religious life. Roberts in his television ministry, crusades and university helped to bring Pentecostalism into the mainstream of American life.  His positive message of “Something good is going to happen to you” inspired many who were not Pentecostals.   The University that bears his will likely be his legacy in merging his beliefs with an institution that became regionally accredited breaking out of the simple unaccredited Bible College tradition that was a hallmark of Pentecostalism and Evangelicalism.  There are some that loved him and some that loathed him but one cannot deny his influence on the American religious life and culture.  His departure from the scene leaves Billy Graham, Pat Robertson and Paul Crouch from the pioneers of modern Christian media.  While Roberts was controversial in terms of some of his pleas for financial support and criticism of his lifestyle, he never seemed to me to have the angry edge of other early televangelists including Jimmy Swaggart, Jerry Fallwell (in his early ministry) and others.  Having worked in a television ministry while I was in seminary back in the early 1990s I am not a big fan of  television ministries from the standpoint of the huge amounts of money involved and potential for abuse.  However one cannot deny the impact that Oral Roberts had on the American religious scene.

Tiger Woods has crashed hard and I pray that for the sake of him and his family that he will be reconciled with his wife and make amends.  I have no double that he will return to greatness on the PGA Tour but for now I hope that he is able to reclaim his life.  As much as his actions speak poorly of him as a person I am disappointed with the media which has used every opportunity to take him down further.  Of course this was aided by his media advisers who let him be a target and did not pre-empt  things that they obviously knew would come to light.  Can anyone say Bill Clinton or Richard Nixon?  I hope that the media frenzy around Tiger dies down so he and his wife can attempt to salvage their marriage if it is even possible now.

The Phillies, Blue Jays and Mariners deal to bring Roy Halliday to Philly and send Cliff Lee to Seattle looks to me like a bad deal for the Phillies, Halliday is a great pitcher but unproven in the post-season and the Phillies gave up their best pitcher and top pitching prospect to get him.  The addition of John Lackey to the Red Sox makes their rotation very strong.  The departure of Hideki Matsui for the Yankees to the Angels helps the Halos who had lost Chone Figgens and Lackey.  The Angels will need to find a good starter to replace Lackey.  The Yankees picked up Curtis Granderson from the Tigers at very little expense to them.  The Giants have not done much as of yet and the Orioles acquired starting pitcher Kevin Millwood from the Rangers and came to terms with Matt Albers and Cla Meredith.  The Orioles could use some power in their offensive lineup.

Barry Bonds agent Jeff Borris stated last week that Barry Bonds would not return to playing baseball.  Bonds has not played the last two season but not retired.  His name will be forever linked to the steroids controversy and his reputation tainted for years to come.  I do not know if he will get in the Hall of Fame, but if the players from the 1940s and 1950s who used amphetamines can be admitted and Gaylord Perry who admitted using the spit-ball, which was illegal can be in the club I see no reason not to admit Bonds.  Many players have been named in the scandal but only Bonds has been pursued by investigators and prosecutors who have spent millions of dollars of our tax money over the past number of years to attempt to catch Bonds.  However, their misconduct of investigators and prosecutors themselves who violated the law in attempt to gather evidence to convict Bonds is shameful and their inability to get charges to stick shows the weakness of their case.  It is time for the investigation of Bonds and the others to end. Let baseball fans, writers and players determine their future.

The Most Valuable Network which I had been invited on in the summer to write The View From 102 went Tango Uniform last week.  I had been unable to post as they had been going through a transition that did not work out. I am contacting media outlets who are taking writers from MVN to relaunch the View from 102.

The Navy released the promotion zone message for FY 2011.  I am right in the middle of the zone for consideration to the grade of Commander.  I hope that I make it.

My Bishop for the Armed Services visited this week for a trip to the USS Carl Vinson.  We had a nice time with him and I deeply appreciate him.  Bishop Woodall is a dear friend.

I am looking at a couple of writing projects for actual books.  As they develop you may see snippets of them here.

I watched two of my favorite Christmas movies last night Scrooged and Christmas Vacation. They are classic albeit a bit twisted.  Would you expect anything else from me?

In less than two weeks I will have oral surgery to emplace my implant where the Undead Tooth of Terror used to live. While I look forward to getting something back into the empty slot were the Undead Tooth of Terror lived, thrived and survived I am not looking forward to the surgery, the anesthesia or the excavation and drilling process.

Christmas is coming and I am nowhere near ready.  Maybe I should move my celebration to January 6th, the Russian Orthodox Christmas…more time plus post Christmas sales….hmmm….

I have duty tomorrow, get to stay in house at the medical center.

Peace

Padre Steve+

"Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs..."

I know this is the week of James Cameron’s Avatar and I know you’re probably expecting me to shoot off a few more posts about it (and that crappy marketing campaign.) But I really think there is nothing more to say about that film… without actually seeing it. So, in honor of that other J.C. whose birthday most of us will be celebrating, one way or another, sometime next week, I’ve decided to compile a list of my favorite holiday movies. I don’t think there’s an order to these…

Die Hard. Just watched it last night… This classic stars Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman and – unquestionably — kicks ass. If you haven’t seen it… well, I don’t know why you’re reading this blog. And yes: it is a Christmas movie. The terrorist take over the building on Christmas Eve… and only two people can save the day: Jesus Christ himself (but I guess he’s off doing other things) or John McClane, a NYPD detective who just so happens to be visiting his estranged wife that very night, in that exact building. Awesomeness ensues. Contrary to what some people think (mainly a confused coworker of mine who once told me Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was a good movie – if you’re reading this, dude, you owe me the ten bucks I spent on that dvd) the movie has held up rather well over time. Sure it has the look and feel of mid-80s cinema… but is that so wrong? If you think about the film as a period piece, it’s completely acceptable.

Favorite scene: When McClane sends the dead-baddie down in the elevator with the note written on his chest: “Now I have a machine gun. Ho-Ho-Ho.” (see it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KShj0gPAH0g . Why the little shit has the embed option disabled is beyond me… but I’m over it.) Though the scene where he throws the C-4 plastic explosive down the elevator shaft is pretty awesome as well.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. This classic stars Chevy Chase and has to be the funniest, legitimate Christmas movie, at least that I can think of. The story is simple, the Griswolds celebrate Christmas, but the laughs are many. I actually haven’t seen this movie in years but I feel it probably holds up rather well. If the film has a downside its that it makes you miss Chevy Chase… what the hell happened to his career?!

Favorite Scene: When the SWAT team storms the house… all to the tune of Here Comes Santa Claus by Gene Autry. Haha. Love it.

Gremlins. Another non-traditional but totally Christmas-based classic. Steven Spielberg produced, Chris Columbus written, and Joe Dante directed, this film hits the spot. It’s comedy. It’s horror. It teaches kids how to responsibly own animals. If this film has a downside… it’s that I now hate each of the filmmakers listed above – Spielberg: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull; Columbus: Bicentennial Man; Dante: Gremlins 2 (he frustrates me to the most. I loved Innerspace!)

Favorite Scene: Phoebe Cates (the hot) explains how she found out there was no Santa Claus. The story is completely random, it rambles on, and it ends up having one of the best dark comedy punch lines ever. Brilliant.

Scrooged. This classic (in my mind at least) stars Bill Murray, is directed by Richard Donner (who also directed Lethal Weapon, another Christmas classic close to being on this list), and is a simple retelling of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Hmm.  Seems as though the ‘80s were full of dark comedy Christmas movies, a genre that seems to have entirely disappeared. Anyway, in Scrooged you have classic Bill Murray, the biggest, most sarcastic ass of them all. What more do you need?

Favorite Scene: The part where Bill Murray… does something… funny…. Ah, hell. I don’t know. Here’s a clip from Elf instead:

So, what have I forgotten?  Let’s hear it…

“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny Kaye.”

This is the time of year that a lot of Christmas movies are shown on almost every television outlet known to humanity.  Of course there are many that are absolutely timeless such as “Miracle on 34^th Street,” “White Christmas” and “It’s a Wonderful Life.” There are also ones of various religious themes, usually involving the birth of Jesus, like no duh, it’s Christmas. Unfortunately most of these films as classic as they are bore me to tears.  Yes they have nice messages and tug at the heartstrings but without wanting to sound too much like Scrooge I get bored by them.  I guess part of this is a generational thing.  The ones set in the 1930s and 1940s are from a different era, an era that I know from history books and family members but not something that is a part of my life.  It’s like the film “The Bell’s of Saint Mary’s” is about the Roman Catholic Church of a half century ago, not the one that I know.  They are fictional and while touching are indelibly tied to their time.  The religious themed films tended often to be major productions and Hollywood Gospel.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that but I’m sorry Cecil B. De Mille did not write the 5^th Gospel, or the 6^th Book of Moses (You have to know your Luther Bible for that one.)

Frank Cross (Bill Murray) with the Ghost of Christmas Past

Instead every year there are several Christmas movies and television shows that I cannot live without seeing.  Of the television shows my all time favorite is “A Charlie Brown Christmas” followed by “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” As a kid I had a deep affinity for both Charlie Brown and Linus. The frustration of Charlie Brown with the commercialization of Christmas was something that resonated in me at a young age.  Likewise Linus’ reading of the Luke’s account of the Angel’s message to the shepherds always brings tears to my eyes.  As for the Grinch, and I mean the television Grinch where Boris Karloff voiced the part of the Grinch not the Jim Carey movie version it has always been a favorite of mine.  I find the plot of the Grinch to steal Christmas from the “Whos” of “Whoville” to be a masterful account of how the message of Christmas can touch even the smallest and coldest of hearts.  Of course I absolutely loved the Grinch’s dog “Max.”

As far as movies I have watched “Scrooged” and “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” almost religiously and am doing so tonight.  I relate to both of the main characters in both movies.  That’s not necessarily a compliment to me, but when I watch both there are times that I almost need to cover my eyes because of the resemblance, especially the scene in Christmas Vacation” where Clark Griswold, played by Chevy Chase starts kicking his decorative reindeer and sleigh across the lawn when he can’t get his house lights on and his rants about when his Christmas Tree goes up in flames and when his family tries to leave are scary close to the way that I can act under the stress of the holidays.  The Abbess says that this indeed is me and I agree.  Three other films that get me are “Home Alone” and “A Christmas Story” and though not really a Christmas story “Trading Places.” These are what I grew up with and which were the films about Christmas as it takes place in the United States that I became an adult in that typify my era, not that of my grandparents.  I think that is why they are my favorites and not the classics of a bygone time.  Of course there is the “Festivus” episode of “Seinfeld” that is almost scary in how things were in my house with my folks, I think at times we only lacked the “feats of strength” and the Festivus Pole to complete the picture.  Likewise when George makes up a fake charity called “The Human Fund: Money for People” to give to the folks at Kruger Industrial Smoothing it cracks me up because I know that there are people who give gifts in other people’s names to charity.

Finally I like the “X-Files” Christmas episode where Ed Asner and Lilly Tomlin played ghosts in a haunted house that Agents Scully and Mulder get trapped in while investigating a case.

Okay, so these are not the classics of a bygone era, but they are my classics and I will enjoy Charlie Brown, Linus, the Grinch, Clark Griswold, Frank Cross, the Costanzas and the rest of my warped favorites as I rediscover Christmas.

Peace,

Padre Steve+

Bill Murray is one of the finest comedic actors of all time and he shows you why in this 1988 film - a modern take on Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.  You also gotta love Buster Poindexter (David Johansen from the  band the New York Dolls) playing the Ghost of Christmas Past.  Great movie.

Morning all.

Well we’ve done three of the four best Christmas movie of all time this weekend: The Holiday, Scrooged and Die Hard. And this week we’ll hit others, including It’s a Wonderful Life. But in between we had to have a rest. I was getting Rudolphobia. With so much holiday cheer, I was threatening to hurl. Another reference to the weather being frightful of Charles Dickens and I’d be going out, buying a shotgun and turning Santa’s reindeer into a fetching hat and coat combo.

So we switched to Back to the Future and the Naked Gun. Ahhhh…. comedy.

On Sunday wifey trawled through four (count them… FOUR!) supermarkets/ department stores/ large shops, with me in tow like a petulant child, grumbling and kicking things as I passed. Shopping and I don’t mix. If I can’t buy it at the BookDepository.co.uk or Play.com or Cheerleaderfantasy.com then I don’t shop. I don’t do supermarkets. And every time I move from one aisle to another in a shop, my mood darkens slightly. If I spend too long in a supermarket I have been known to surreptitiously kick stacks of cans and make angry faces at kids milling about like confused geese in the corridors. I have once been escorted from a supermarket by security. Not for theft or anything like that, but for losing my temper with a rack of toothpaste. In retrospect, I fear the toothpaste won.

I have decided on two things I need to write. I know that I’m in the middle of a sequel to one of my books and planning another, along with a third, unconnected novel, but there are two ideas standing in the line of inspiration and jumping up and down and waving their arms.

A screenplay for a big heist comedy caper involving four drunken down and outs in Santa suits who happen across a plan belonging to some real villains. I feel that’s a Christmas winner.

The second, after reading the lastest entry by Bluesleepy, is a Christmas Zombie movie. There HAS to be room for a Christmas zombie movie. Or rather, a seasonal one. I see no reason why we can’t have Jewish zombies at Hanukkah too, with Jewish protagonists sharpening their candelabras to do away with the zombie menace. Winner, you think?

This week I will do some more writing, even if it kills me!

Ciao all and season’s greetings!

A greedy, selfish and Christmas hating TV executive gets visited by the ghosts of Christmas.

Directed by – Richard Donner

Written by – Mitch Glazer, Michael O’Donoghue

Starring – Bill Murray, Karen Allen, John Forsythe, John Glover, Bobcat Goldthwait, David Johansen, Carol Kane, Robert Mitchum, Nicholas Phillips, Michael J. Pollard, Alfre Woodard, Mabel King, John Murray, Jamie Farr, Robert Goulet, Buddy Hackett, John Houseman, Lee Majors, Pat McCormick, Brian Doyle-Murray, Mary Lou Retton

I almost missed posting this today and that would be a shame because its such a great movie. I’ve never really been a big fan of the Scrooge story. It’s always depressing through most of the story until the final scenes when Scrooge becomes a new man. Scrooged takes the very serious storyline and injects it full of humour. Sure it still has it’s tear-jerker moments but without those the entire message would be lost anyway. The main character has to face some tough lessons to bring him to his final moment where he realizes what an ass he’s been.

This ranks up there with my favorite movies, not only for the holiday but for all time. It’s just not as much fun to watch this in the middle of the summer instead of the Christmas season. Easily the best part of the movie for me is Bill Murray. I’m a huge fan and love everything I’ve seen him in. He’s got a touch of class mixed in with a touch of ass in this one and his comedic timing is perfect. I’m not sure I would enjoy this movie with anyone else in the role.

Bill Murray takes over for Scrooge.

While Bill Murray may be my favorite part of the flick, there’s plenty of other characters to love. David Johansen as the Ghost of Christmas Past and Carol Kane as the Ghost of Christmas Present are both hilarious. Submitting Bill Murray to bumps, punches and groin hits. All for the sake of Christmas of course! Along with the Ghosts there’s also Bobcat Goldthwait as Eliot Loudermilk who spends most of the movie getting the worlds garbage dumped on him before he finally snaps and decides to make Bill Murray a special present of buckshot between the eyeballs.

Bobcat, a little less screamy but still as unstable as you remember.

One of the things that always stood out for me in this movie was Bill Murray’s face whenever Karen Allen as Claire Phillips was around him. He spends so much of the movie being the hard ass boss, screaming and yelling to get his way that it’s easy to see him as the bad guy, but when Claire comes into the picture you can actually see his face light up. It’s a small moment really, but always impressed on me what great acting is. I honestly believed that he loved Claire with all his heart and that she was the one who got away. You could see it in his eyes and read it all over his face. A subtle moment that I’ve come to love.

There are so many scenes that I really love in Scrooged that I won’t even bother going into them. Well, a couple at least I guess. The first visit from a ghost where the rat pushes the golf ball out of his head, Bill Murray trying to walk through a door like the Ghost of Christmas Past, stapling antlers to mice, and my absolute favorite moment in the whole movie is when Bill Murray is in the restaurant and thinks the waiter is on fire. He quickly runs over and throws a bucket of water all over him only to realize that he wasn’t on fire. As he goes to leave the restaurant, he slips and then falls flat on his ass. It never fails to make me burst out laughing. It seems like it was a pure accident but was just too damn funny to leave out of the movie. That and I love watching people fall down or walk into sliding glass doors, always a good time!

Under the mistletoe – Will

I love Christmas!  The kid in me comes alive each year.  What can I say?  I love the food, the singing, presents and decorations – but Christmas is not complete without some classic Christmas movies.  But you won’t find A Christmas Story or It’s A Wonderful Life on this list I’m afraid.

1. Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (because, it’s just awesome)

2. Nightmare Before Christmas (same as above)

3. Bad Santa (because drunk Santas are funny)

4. Elf (because it’s Will Ferrell’s best movie)

5. Edward Scissorhands (not technically Christmas, but snowy and magical)

6. Black Christmas (Canadian Christmas horror at its best)

7. Scrooged (Bill Murray..hahaha)

8. While You Were Sleeping (because the girl in me has to cry at something)

9. The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (who doesn’t love Whoville??)

10. Harry Potter (because there’s no better time to watch 10 hours of Harry Potter movies than over the holidays)

Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer