secret-world « WordPress.com Tag Feed

Nostalgia

anyanna — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 17:42:15 +0000

View from the window of our old flat. About 5 am.

Pink elephants and serious conversations

fairytalesandhokum — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 12:03:13 +0000

She looked up as the door opened again, expecting another couple to exit with their farewells. To her surprise, he emerged, holding two steaming mugs, attempting to wrestle the door closed with minimal spillage. She watched for a few moments, waiting, then he sighed and held out a mug without looking at her. She took it without a word, drinking as he pulled the door shut and sat on the stoop beside her, nursing his own beverage.

They sat in silence for a few moments, then he broke it. ”Too dull indoors, or do you just enjoy frostbite?”

She looked down, realizing slowly that she couldn’t feel her toes any longer. ”I forgot that I wasn’t wearing shoes.”

He nodded, taking another sip, and waited.

She sighed. ”You need to promise to relax and not run screaming.”

He looked surprised. ”As long as you don’t pull out a rusty knife, I think we’re good.”

She took a deep breath, then it all came spilling out, words tumbling over others in a rush to emerge into the real world. ”I… can’t be serious around you. It’s not that I don’t want to be, but simply that it is a very bad idea. In fact, I need to avoid you.” She waited, watching him from the corner of her eye for any sign of a reaction.

He took another drink, then looked down at his mug. ”Well, when you finished our conversation then practically ran from the room, I figured something was up.”

This was it. Now or never. She set down her mug and angled her body to face him slightly. ”You are a Good Man. You’re witty and smart and wickedly funny, and I see the deeper, more serious parts that you try to hide, too. I feel drawn to your soul, almost compelled to be near you, and that scares me more than a little bit, especially given–” she waved her hand, alluding to their earlier exchange, “everything. It’s not a good idea for me to talk to you, yet when we do I find myself truly enjoying the banter. You keep me on my toes, which is rare among my acquaintances,” she finished with a laugh.

He still stared down at his drink, his mouth unmoving, but his eyes crinkled for a moment.

She shrugged. ”Don’t say anything, don’t try to make me feel better because I don’t feel sad or embarrassed or awkward. I only wanted to tell you because I can only dance around for so long.” She waited a beat. ”And I might’ve overindulged on the egg nog.” Another beat. ”And I told myself that if by some miracle you came out here, I’d be honest with you whether you wanted to hear it or not.”

He finally looked at her, face impassive. ”Well. Thanks for your honesty.”

She grinned. ”Hey, who doesn’t want to hear that they’re compelling? Even though it’s a dead end road,” she finished quietly.

Something flashed across his face, faster than she could identify. ”Dead end? Are you sure you don’t have that knife around here?”

She laughed out loud and bumped his shoulder with her own. ”You know what I mean.”

He finally grinned in return.

She stood, brushing off invisible dirt. ”Well. I need to go drink a lot more. I promised Jessica that I would keep up with her, and she’s really slamming them back.”

He stood, and picked up their empty mugs. ”Oh, one quick thing.”

She looked up at him, realizing suddenly that he stood so close she could feel his body heat, and she forced her automatic hum of approval into a question. ”Mmm?”

“I agree.” His voice sounded gravelly. ”We should stay far apart and keep the banter shallow and witty.” Was he leaning closer?

She swallowed. ”Of course, shallow and witty is my natural state, so that won’t be too difficult for me.” He was telling her to keep away from him. She curled her fingers into fists to keep from reaching out to touch him.

His mouth quirked up in a grin, then suddenly he asked quietly, “Why are you with him?”

She blinked at his sudden desire to confront the elephant in the room. ”Uhm. What?”

He made an impatient gesture, his eyes intent. ”If we’re not going to have a serious conversation after this, then I’m going to ask my deep burning questions now.”

“Well…” she shrugged. ”He loves me. He knows me. He’ll be a good father, good husband. If I don’t have the fireworks and the fiery passionate craziness, that just means I’m a grown-up now, right?” She looked down at her fingers, twisting and clenching over one another.

“So he’s safe.” His voice was flat, a low monotone.

Her head snapped up, eyes angry. ”And?”

“And it’s a copout and you know it! You’re choosing the safe, steady path because you’re too afraid to risk anything, but the whole point of loving someone is that you risk everything, every day, all for that person who makes you so crazy with love and fear and anger that you’re dizzy every time you look at them, and they’re so irresistible to you that you’re practically ‘compelled’ to seek them out using the flimsiest of excuses just so you can be near them for a few blessed hours before parting ways again until the next time.” His voice had steadily risen until he was shouting, hands stabbing the air to make his point.

Her mouth hung open in shock. ”How dare you!”

He suddenly dropped the mugs on the lawn, grabbed her upper arms and yanked her to him, kissing her hard on the mouth and releasing her just as suddenly. ”Stay away from me!” he shouted, and turned to go inside.

She reached out to pull him back, whether to shake him or slap him was undecided, but he turned back and slid his arms around her just as she flung her arms around his neck, and their mouths fused in a desperate kiss, full of anger and longing and frustration and pent-up desire.

When he finally released her, there were tears on her cheeks. He gently touched her jaw with the back of his hand, and said quietly, “Go back inside, you’ll freeze out here.”

Her lips parted for a moment, and she hesitated, about to speak. But he bent down to pick up the forgotten mugs, and she relented, stumbling back inside the house, head whirling.

letters to the past

fairytalesandhokum — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 02:03:25 +0000

I cannot believe all that both of us have put up with from each other over the years. (Yes, I gave you a lot of pain. There’s no way I’m going to deny that. I’m sorry, for what it’s worth.)

I’ve known you for nearly half my life (off and on) and I think I’ve earned the right to be able to call your crap. You were my best friend. At one point, you were even my other half. You knew me upside down and inside out. And I’m fed up with your bullshit. (well, I was a while ago, but only thought to write this now.)

Let’s face it: we’re still going to keep running into each other due to various family connections and church and such (or because fate likes to make you her bitch), so hey guess what, we’re going to hash this out.

A) I contacted you again because I missed you. You were, at one time, the one person who knew me best, and I don’t believe in just tossing that aside lightly. I never learned the concept of “letting go.” and I never thought I would have to, when it came to you. However, you can relax. I did not want to ‘pick things up again’ because of several reasons, not the least of which was our personalities and the way we meshed. Bad idea all the way around. So stop acting so jumpy. I thought I’d made that clear, but I guess I should’ve set it in stone.

(And, to my surprise, contacting you worked! I loved being able to talk to you, to share, to have a small part of that old, pre-disaster connection. It was good, it was fun, it was “us” again. then… wtf.)

B) Like you said, I’ve changed. Grown-up me doesn’t believe in holding back, or pretending. Life is too short for games. There is a part of me that still loves you, (not in the ‘hey let’s date’ way, or the ‘unrequited’ way, but the ‘old friends who shared a lot’ affectionate way), and I probably always will. I’m not going to pretend that you didn’t mean a lot to me, or that you didn’t have a lot of influence in my life. (Not all of it was positive, but we’re human and that’s life.)

C) Good things about you: the way you are able to be attentive to the little things. don’t change that.

D) Bad things about you: never ever ever EVER tell a girl what is wrong with her physical appearance. We know. I still can’t believe I put up with it from you, or that you would have the sheer jackassery to even say it. It still makes me wish I had just outright punched you in the face.

E) Grown-ups say “hey, I’m seeing somebody, so peace.” or whatever excuse you want to use. (Even that is rude, but whatever.) Dropping off the face of the planet is the most cowardly of all possible recourses you could’ve used. And that’s sad. Even for you. I know you take ‘non-confrontation’ to new levels of ridiculous, but really. Man up. Even the unspoken one had the fortitude to call me, and he was the scum of the earth.

F) Along those lines, yes, the bf and I are together. I guess it’s not surprising to a lot of people, but it’s something that really never occurred to me before. I guess I win that age-old question of whether he loves you more than he loves me.

G) If you’re happy, then great. Really. I hope the east coast is amazing for you. If I ever see you again, I’ll smile and be nice, because like I said, life is too short for pretending. I just didn’t want to leave anything unsaid.

I’ll be honest, I’ve wished that I could just banish you forever. I know you said that it’s hard for you to ignore me, and that you wanted to see if I’d “reconnect the threads” or something. The truth is, I don’t think those ‘threads’ will ever fully break. And it frustrates me. A lot. You’ve said before that I was the one person you could count on for the rest of your life. Well… I’m holding that end of the bargain. Yes, our love has changed (drastically) from what it was. Perhaps, in your case, it’s faded entirely.

I give up. I’m putting all my cards on the table, because I’m at a place where it’s okay for me to completely humiliate myself in front of people who have demonstrated that they could care less whether I take a flying leap into the lake or whatever nonsense phrase you’d like to use. (It helps, I suppose, to know that I have someone who loves me and has never treated me half as badly as you did at one point.)

Let’s review, okay?

no more crap… I missed you, not in love with you, there’s a big difference… ummm… good and bad… other people…. oh yes. one last thing.

I have bigger balls than you.

Have a nice life.

Beta Bounder

ChainTrap — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:25:08 +0000

Something about Ysharros’ post about The Secret World beta has been idling at the back of my mind since I read it. A little nagging irritant of a thought, that demands attention, only to dodge behind some other matter when I turn my mind’s eye towards it. This thought has lurked at the periphery for a few hours, until a few minutes ago, when, whilst making custard, I pinned the little sod down and forced it to give me the skinny.

Games that I beta test are less likely to get my subscription. Or even get bought, and be played for that first month. This is probably not news, but I find it interesting nonetheless.

I started playing MMOs in 2001 when I bought Anarchy Online (though I had been active in MUDs, MUSHes and MOOs prior to that). I bought it, a couple of months after release, without ever having played it. It looked interesting; I loved the idea of the politics, and a persistent world seemed kinda fun. It was, and it got me hooked. In 2003 I beta tested the Shadowlands expansion, and within a couple of months I had quit playing AO on an extended break. I would go back to it for a couple of months thereafter, but never again would it have the same hold over me. Certainly, that I’d seen much of the Shadowlands prior to release was a factor, but it was by no means the entire reason. After all, my main was at level cap, whilst my beta toon was a starting character.

I beta tested Neocron – and never played it after release (it was a horrid game). I beta’ed Asheron’s Call 2; A Tale in the Desert; The Saga of Ryzom; Earth and Beyond; and Star Wars: Galaxies. None of them saw a penny of my money. I played Lineage 2 in beta, and enjoyed it. When it was released, I subscribed, and within a month had cancelled my sub. A grindy game was made all the less appealing by having to repeat the same grind I’d already completed. I tested Guild Wars too, and actually bought the game box at release – played it for a week, and retired bored from it. Aion recently got beta’ed – but it wasn’t compelling enough (or at all) for me to spend any hard earned on it. The same with Champions. I downloaded the beta of Gatheryn, but bugs prevented me from actually doing anything with it – reported them, but then didn’t bother. I actually gave away my beta key for Wrath of the Lich King to avoid any such problems!

The games I have played for any length of time are interesting. Let’s discount WoW – its horrendously addictive; I joined a guild full of my mates; and it came on a massive recommendation. I didn’t beta test Pirates of the Burning Sea, yet invested about 8 months of play time into it. OK, so it was a game that interested me anyway – the age of sail is a fascinating time – but I wonder whether I’d have played as long had I tested the game. Eve is an interesting case – I did beta test it back in 2003, but it didn’t grab me and i gave up on it. It would be this year, 6 years later, that I’d pick it up again and get hooked. 6 years to get over the beta test?

So, are these factors linked? After all, correlation is not cause. Is it the fact that a beta exposes me to the content ahead of time, and I’m just not interested in repeating that content again? Well, countless alliance WoW alts would suggest that repetition alone is not enough of a barrier for me. And I generally only play one race/class combo in beta – so it’s not as if there aren’t different areas and content open to me. So is it investment? If I pay for a game, am I more likely to persevere with it? Well possibly, but I have many offline games here that I’ve paid for and never played, and yet I continue to repeat play certain games. Are offline games subject to the same rules, even? Is my beta-block to do with seeing the game in an incomplete and bugged form? Well, let’s not forget that I played AO for years; a more incomplete and bugged release you’d be hard pressed to find – it earned the game a place in MMO infamy. Lastly, is it simply that the games that interest me are the ones that I buy, and I beta test the rest? I don’t think so.

I’m not sure that I have a conclusion for you. It’s probably a composite of all of these things and a few that I’ve not thought of yet. But in the light of these thoughts, I turn back to the pay-beta that Funcom are creating for the Secret World. And if there are many people like me out there, then they are probably wise. Because the chances are that if they don’t get their money pre-beta, they may not get it at all.

NB for Ragnar and/or any others from Funcom: I’m only kidding! I’ll buy your game, even after a beta… g’wan…. let me in… you know you wanna…

I Can Haz Secret World?

HarbingerZero — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:18:34 +0000

I got a notice from FunCom that I have 2 weeks free of Conan (also heads up: a free week of LotRO starts tomorrow). But that wasn’t the interesting part of the email:

Subscribe for 3 months and get guaranteed access to the closed beta test of The Secret World + the reward above*

Oh shame on your FunCom! You tempt me to send you money for a best test…I’m wise to your ways. But am I strong enough to resist?

trivial pursuits, or It's Not Stalking If It's On The Internet

fairytalesandhokum — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 01:07:03 +0000

No, I’m not talking about the hypothetical occasional facebook-stalking of my ex. (which never happens.)

Or my sick obsession with The Superficial. (seriously, what is with that? I can’t stand shows like The Real Housewives of Atlanta/OC/Trailer Trash and I really judge people who watch The Hills or anything affiliated with MTV or VH1, but that site is strangely addicting. perhaps it’s his scorn for… well, everyone that amuses me.)

I am referring to my newest internet crush: she (cleolinda) says brilliant things. Things that answer all the questions to life. For example, that bad boy obsession that all girls have, but are somehow unable to properly explain?

2) Girls like bad boys: Believe it or not, this is actually tied to Point #1. I’ve held this as a general theory for a while, so listen up, nice guys (or Nice Guys), but maybe not for the reason you’d think. I actually don’t think girls like a guy who treats them bad. But I do think they–we–get off a little on the idea of changing someone for the better, or the idea of having the power that someone loves us so much that he’ll change or sacrifice something for us. (I don’t have the patience for fixer-uppers in real life–if I’m going to be with you, I want you to be a fully formed, fully actualized self before I get there–but I’m a sucker for the trope in literature.) A nice guy doesn’t need to change, and, most importantly, he’s already nice to everyone. How do you know that you’re special if he treats everyone else with as much kindness and respect as he treats you? The “bad boy” type, though? He may range from simple, garden-variety jackhole (hello, Sawyer!) to appalling psychopath (hello, Dr. Lecter!), but you know he loves you because he’s completely different around you. You are an exception to his very nature. This is how “villain” ends up drifting towards “antihero”–Dracula, the Phantom of the Opera, Spike on Buffy, fanfic!Draco Malfoy–but you even see it with straightforward heroes: Mr. Darcy and Mr. Rochester are both cold, prickly, withdrawn types until Lizzie Bennet and Jane Eyre arrive, respectively, to bewilder and melt them. That’s the fantasy. (Note: this is not a comparison of quality.)

It’s true! This is your answer, boys who are constantly confused by our compulsion to, as Chandler put it, “date leather-wearing alcoholics and complain about them… to you.”

Of course, most girls end up making the mistake of dating that type. Then, when they meet a truly Nice Guy, they don’t quite know what to do with them and usually end up heading for the hills. (He opens the car door for me, Mom. Who does that? I’m breaking up with him tomorrow.) (no, I do not have personal experience in that area at all.)

I’ll see you guys later; I’m busy catching up on her deep and philosophical musings.

And reading Growing Up Cullen.

saint_renegade: let’s talk about Edward during most of new moon
saint_renegade: when he was away from bella/his family
oxymoronassoc: JAUNTING ABOUT
oxymoronassoc: BEING EMO
oxymoronassoc: IN SOUTH AMERICA
saint_renegade: you know he sent long letters to emmett/rosalie
saint_renegade: just weeping the whole time
saint_renegade: talking about his great woe

oxymoronassoc: he’s chilling, sparkling, under a mango tree in the amazon
oxymoronassoc: hoping to get eaten by a snake or whatever
saint_renegade: I AM A BOTTOMLESS PIT OF SADNESS
oxymoronassoc: I DESERVE NO LESS THAN TO BE STRANGLED BY THIS ANACONDA
saint_renegade: just lying there sobbing for days at a time
oxymoronassoc: the locals think the forest is haunted
oxymoronassoc: or that there is a cow
oxymoronassoc: slowly dying
oxymoronassoc: in some quicksand
oxymoronassoc: I HAVE SCARED AWAY THE LOCALS
oxymoronassoc: THEY COULD NOT BEAR THE SOUND OF MY ANGUISH
oxymoronassoc: NOW I MUST BEAR THAT BURDEN TOO: I AM A SOCIAL PARIAH

yeah. will my life ever be normal again?

Fun times with Funcom

arbitrary — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 13:42:12 +0000

Ysharros reminded me about The Secret World, an MMO I’m totally fascinated about, I just want to see one in a real world setting. I love the idea of paranoia, secret societies, and three factions. I want to see how a classless system works. And I have faith it’ll be interesting enough to give a good shot.

But, it did remind me of my sole concern. We all had fun with the ‘what secret society are you’ test Funcom put up as marketing hype and beta sign-up. And we spanned the three factions Dragon, Illuminati, Templars. Now, you can only pick one, and you only work for that one. I can imagine some groups of friends having some real problems sorting out which faction they want to play together in. Or – will we do something more radical and all play in the same world together, and chat, but play for different factions.

I know as it draws near I’ll be having a few words with friends over which faction seems the best fit for us. Any thoughts how you’ll tackle this?

Fun times!

Nhớ

Onaty Dinh — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 05:21:09 +0000

Qúa nhiều nỗi nhớ để có thể gọi tên…

Không chỉ là một người nhất định, không chỉ là một nơi nhất định, mà là nhiều người, nhiều nơi, thực ảo lẫn lộn.

Suýt khóc trong lớp khi khoảnh khắc nhớ nhà hiện về, không phải là đứa yếu đuối để dễ rơi lệ, nhưng đã tưởng không thể ngăn mình lại. Rồi cũng bình tĩnh được, không thì chắc thành biểu tượng “thần kinh không bình thường” của lớp mất thôi

Nhớ một tình yêu từng ra sức bảo vệ, có sống chết có anti cũng bỏ ngoài tai, vì một niềm tin mãnh liệt vào tình yêu của họ, vâng, tình yêu của họ, không liên quan đến mình, nhưng nó là một phần của mình…

Tìm một nơi để chia sẻ, một nơi để muốn viết gì thì viết đó, nói gì thì nói đó, loay hoay qua mấy cái nhà, rốt cuộc không viết trong cái nhà nào cả, giữ đấy, chừng nào điên thì hay

Lâu lâu kiếm một người chọc cười, kiếm một người hỏi mình ăn tối chưa, lâu lâu muốn được người khác chăm chứ không muốn chăm người khác, luẩn quẩn cũng mỗi bé TaeTae dụi dụi đầu vào cổ mẹ nó ra vẻ an ủi, trông nó lúc ấy đáng yêu thật

Không phải nhớ vì bị bỏ rơi hay cô đơn, mà đơn giản nhớ vì muốn nhớ, thèm nhớ và không thể không nhớ… Đầy mà không đủ, không bao giờ đủ, không bao giờ…

Thôi dừng ở đây, để nỗi nhớ đấy, thỉnh thoảng mang ra xem, mỉm cười vì ít ra mình còn thứ để nhớ

magic rocks

M. E. Wickham — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 00:56:45 +0000

During Week Three of The Artist’s Way, we are given a series of fill-in-the-blank phrases in an exercise called “Detective Work.” I enjoyed the exercise very much — once I got past an initial blocked phase where I could not seem to recall anything at all. The first time through the list, it was as if I’d never seen a movie before the age of 15, never played with a toy as a child, and as if the ink in my pen had dried up quite suddenly when confronted with such phrases as “If I had had a perfect childhood I’d have grown up to be….”

But after we’d passed on into Week Four, and then Week Five, I found that page of the notebook again and found all the answers flowing easily from the pen nib. Almost too easily. The corresponding memories popped up clearly, too, as though they’d always been there, just shrouded in a stubborn mist.

And my favorite childhood toy, the first on the list, was a classic “scientific” toy:

Of course, I learned no science whatsoever from the magic rocks. I remember receiving them as a Christmas gift — and I assuredly wasn’t yet 10 in the memory, which means either (a) my parents ignored the age-appropriate guideline, or (b) the decade in which I spent my young childhood was not very regulated yet, and there may have been no guidelines at all back then. Both scenarios are equally likely. I know for a fact that my parents thought the age guidelines were pointless if they intended to personally supervise my engagement with any toy, and also know for a fact that it was common enough to place a baby in a baby carrier on the floorboard of your car, or even unbuckled in the passenger seat, in the 1970s.

I actually fell out of a moving car — albeit moving very slowly — in 1979 on the way to a ballet lesson by — get this — leaning my back against the passenger side door. I’d been sitting on my knees with my elbows propped on the dashboard just previously, making the windshield fog up so I could draw pictures in it. I fell out wearing my tights and tap shoes, and when the man who’d been driving the car behind us ran up to check on me, I asked him worriedly if he could catch my mom now driving away because otherwise I was going to miss dance class. (How’s that for priorities? Sadly, I did miss dance class, spending that time at the hospital being checked for concussion.)

So child safety regulation was, let’s say, a little more lax than circa 2009. If car seats and seat belts weren’t yet de rigeur, it’s possible that a toy made of water-soluble metallic salts and a packet of liquid sodium silicate slid easily under the radar.

My dad and I did the actual stalagmite-creation process together, although I remember him being a little frustrated with the lack of a decent explanation of why it worked and what scientific principle it illustrated. We didn’t have Google back then, so he couldn’t show me this. But being Daddy, he speculated at length on the possible point of the experiment. Daddy had done graduate work in Chemistry, worked for the army’s Explosive Ordinance Division, learned about the disarmament of Vietnam-era chemical weapons (among other topics), and likes to figure things out. I think he would have gladly taken apart my little plastic aquarium and done other experiments with the stalagmites therein, until nothing remained but cloudy colored water or dust — just to be sure.

But it was far too late for that. I’d fallen in love with my new fantasy world in a jar while he lectured. I couldn’t stop staring at the world within the little octagonal plastic aquarium. From every facet of the octagon, I had another window into this realm under the sea. And I doubled the whole kingdom by sitting it in front of the mirror atop my dresser.

From that day until the rocks finally dissolved some three years later, the magic rocks became my partner in crime, a trigger to my subconscious to kick in creatively when I wanted to go to my room, shut the door, and daydream myself far away. I say “crime,” of course, because this behavior was repeatedly and many times harshly discouraged.

Oftentimes the shaming word “lazy” was invoked, and Week Nine of the Artist’s Way, where we are now, has a few wonderful things to say about how artists are mis-named “lazy” by parents and others who view the desire to make art as an act of rebellion against them, and how we then apply this term “laziness” to what is actually a potent fear of separation, abandonment or loss, along with the usual contingent of guilt for even wanting to do our own thing and thereby terribly disappointing our loved ones, all of this unexamined and stuffed emotion blocking us from even taking the first steps to make Art. (I had a dual reaction to most of this chapter: part of me wanted to hide it away and felt embarassed by it, like it was unseemly even to say some of this stuff, and part of me wanted to laugh out loud and send copies of it to everyone who ever discouraged my art, even peripherally.)

But I can daydream to my heart’s content nowadays. Well, except for the duties of adult life which intervene now and then. Still, it’s a lot freer than feeling I must do it clandestinely, somehow unobserved, lest I disappoint those I love and invite censure and criticism of my very character.

So bring on the magic rocks!

Problem: how to locate a vintage toy? I ended up going to e-bay and ordering a classic 1980s set because all of the modern versions looked so strange with their non-octagonal aquariums and lots of little stickers to tart up the ensemble. If the trick worked and I ended up with a rainbow-hued garden of coral forms, why would I ever want to ruin it with a sticker? No way! Plus, the modern versions were rather expensive. So was mine, once I paid for shipping — and I learned afterward that you can usually buy a basic set for about $3 at a local discount store.

However, I was pleased with myself for not only planning an artist date, but actually exercising the forethought to have an item shipped for the occasion. And to have unearthed a heretofore unrecognized wishlist item from excavating my own past felt, well, strangely comforting. I could almost use the word “re-parenting” here — but that word still feels dirty and disloyal.

My artist child felt pretty special, I can tell you… and she could hardly wait to open the package and get cracking.

Do you see what I mean about a magical underwater realm? Can’t you just imagine all the mermaids swimming between the rocks, sitting on the cracked and fallen branches of coral, making their homes in the cool, bejeweled caves at the base of those palace-shaped formations?

I could. Still can, it turns out — although when the process was first completed, I couldn’t think of anything at first. I could only stare and stare and wonder if this artist date had turned out to be a waste of an hour and $13. My artist child seemed supremely happy with the outcome, not at all concerned about how empty the underwater world appeared to be. I even wondered out loud if you had to be a child for the “trick” to work, at which point I distinctly heard her giggling at me.

This did not put me in the best of moods.

I put the jar (found it on my Artist Date in Week One, remember?) filled with the new kingdom in fresh, clean water on top of my desk and left it there overnight. Nothing happened for a couple of days, except that I kept staring at it and even took it repeatedly to the mirror atop my dresser to double the size of the world in a flash. But … nada. No swirls of color, no movement. This world was empty. Maybe even dead.

The experiment had caused me nothing but grief and frustration this time around. Well, mixed with a little beauty, I suppose. Not a total loss, then.

But the very next morning, after morning pages, a lovely mermaid with spiky peach-colored hair and turquoise and silver fish scales came swimming right up to the glass to introduce herself and take me on a tour of her world.

Apparently they just had to trust me first. They were there all the time. (Although they were totally different mermaids than I knew before, and it was a totally different city than the one that finally crumbled to sediment in my childhood. Of course! I am a totally different human being now, too — although some similarities remain, and one mermaid I have met assured me she recognized me vaguely from her grandmother’s stories.)

There’s a lesson in there somewhere. I’m not quite sure how to articulate it. About trusting oneself and Art taking patience and the Muse absolutely impossible to lure out until things are not just calm and beautiful, but ready for her. About working with your subconscious and not expecting duplicate results and — well, I’m sure all of my fellow Artist’s Way travelers could add to this list. Perhaps I can’t entirely articulate it because parts of it are communicated to me without words. Maybe I just need time for the words to come to me….

Meanwhile, if you need me anytime soon, I might be completely and joyfully lost in another world.

Funcom's New game - The Secret World

Xzion — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:10:06 +0000

Funcom, most known for their game’s Anarchy Online, and Age of Conan, are up to it again…This time, they are going for a more futuristic feel. The game is called “The Secret World” ( development started in 2007 ). It will be based around conspiracy, myths, secrets, and factions.

The Secret World is not in beta yet, but the site boasts “Win Beta Access” by taking their test to determine which order / faction would suit you best. So one can only hope that the beta testing will commence soon, however there has been no official word.

As of right now, there are three factions which have been released which are the ”Dragon, Illuminati and Templar”. These “Orders” are said to not affect race, or skills, but rather intertwine to make one heck of a story line.

Based on the game site, the graphics, and concept seem to have much potential…but will this be another Funcom flop? Need we all remember the hype in regards to their recent fail Age of Conan? It was plagued with many of the same issues as AO (Anarchy Online), such as memory leaks, random lag, and broken promises.

So far the buzz is up about Secret World, but will Funcom make with the goods this time? Lets hope so, because this looks like a “Can’t Miss”.

Keep up to date on this mmo, and check out some of these sites :

Official Game Site

MMORPG

1up

The Secret World Wiki

Drunk

digitalempire — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 16:21:30 +0000

My tribute to the Xbox 360 for if it weren’t for its incredible array of video games, I wouldn

anyanna — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 21:32:00 +0000

Our new flat. 9:30 pm.

Rỗng

Onaty Dinh — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 16:05:30 +0000

Full or Empty

Rỗng là chẳng có gì, do vốn dĩ không có gì hoặc đã từng có nhưng vì một lý do nào đấy đã cạn kiệt mà thành rỗng.

Cảm giác ấy ai hiểu được khi mà họ chưa từng trải qua? Không phải mình không nói hay không chịu tâm sự, đơn giản là đừng đặt những tràng câu hỏi rỗng và bắt người khác trả lời, vô vị lắm khi biết rằng dù có cố đến mấy thì bạn cũng sẽ không bao giờ hiểu được. Cảm giác là điều rất riêng tư, chưa từng trải qua thì sẽ không hiểu thấu, vậy thôi.

Mỗi lần nghe thấy thứ nhạc ngâm nga ấy đều cố giữ mình không rơi vào trạng thái rỗng, vì thứ rỗng đó là do quá cạn kiệt cảm xúc mà thành. Một khi đã không còn gì để nghĩ nghĩa là đã nghĩ quá nhiều.

Ghét phải một mình và chìm vào vô vị, ghét phải nghĩ đến những thứ biết sẽ bế tắc, ghét bị làm phiền theo cách này hay cách khác.

Một khi lòng đã rỗng, dù xung quanh là bao nhiêu âm thanh hay ánh sáng thì nó cũng chỉ là không gian cộng hưởng bởi sự im lặng đáng sợ và bóng tối dày đặc mà thôi.

Games news

xollothnews — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 03:46:07 +0000

το Secret World καθυστερεί

Η Funcom διώχνει κόσμο, το Secret World καθυστερεί | byteme

Καθυστερεί το Secret World το οποίο αναμενόταν να κάνει την εμφάνισή του μέσα στο 2010. Αιτία οι περικοπές που αναγκάστηκε να κάνει η Funcom η οποία και απέλυσε περίπου το 20% του δυναμικού της, με την δημιουργό εταιρεία του Age of Conan να μετακομίζει προσφάτως στο Quebec του Καναδά σε μια προσπάθεια να γλυτώσει τουλάχιστον τους φόρους.[next]

Η Apple η πιο «cool» μάρκα στον κόσμο

Η Apple η πιο «cool» μάρκα στον κόσμο | byteme

Για τη σεζόν 2009-2010 λοιπόν, στην κορυφή βρέθηκε το iPhone, με την περυσινή νικήτρια Aston Martin να πέφτει στη δεύτερη θέση και την ίδια την Apple να ακολουθεί στην τρίτη κάνοντας έτσι το… 1-3! Η εταιρεία του Steve Jobs κατέχει και την τέταρτη θέση με το iPod και θα συνέχιζε έτσι μέχρι την δέκατη αν είχε λανσάρει και άλλα brands![next]

ARMA II -review

GameWorld – ARMA II (PC)

Η αρχή έγινε το 2001, όταν η Bohemia Interactive, μια Tσέχικη ανεξάρτητη εταιρεία, κυκλοφόρησε το Operation Flashpoint. Τότε, αρκετοί gamers βασισμένοι στον αυξημένο ρεαλισμό του, μιλούσαν για ένα νεο είδος παιχνιδιού, αν και το τότε FPS δεν ξεχώριζε τόσο από άλλα αντίστοιχα του είδους. Όταν πέντε χρόνια μετά κυκλοφόρησε το «αδερφάκι» του Operation Flashpoint, το ArmA: Armed Assault, όλα έδειχναν πως η Bohemia -ίσως από μόνη της- είχε καθιερώσει ένα νέο είδος, αυτό του στρατιωτικού εξομοιωτή. Ήρθε λοιπόν η ώρα να ρίξουμε μια ματιά στο τρίτο κατά σειρά παιχνίδι της εταιρείας, το ArmA II.[next]

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To demo του FIFA 10 είναι το πιο δημοφιλές στην ιστορία της ΕΑ

To demo του FIFA 10 είναι το πιο δημοφιλές στην ιστορία της ΕΑ | Game 2.0

Μπορεί το FIFA 10 να κυκλοφορεί σε λίγες μέρες, αλλά η ΕΑ ήδη ξέρει το τί θα επακολουθήσει και γι αυτό τρίβει τα χέρια της. Με λίγα λόγια, θα γίνει χαμός.

Αυτό φαίνεται και από την υποδοχή που επιφύλαξαν οι gamers στο demo του παιχνιδιού, το οποίο έσπασε όλα τα ρεκόρ και έγινε το πιο δημοφιλές demo στην ιστορία της ΕΑ[next]

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Πάνω από 300.000 πωλήσεις για το Trials HD, καθοδόν το DLC

Πάνω από 300.000 πωλήσεις για το Trials HD, καθοδόν το DLC | Game 2.0

H RedLynx ανακοίνωσε ότι το εκπληκτικό Trials HD ξεπέρασε τις 300.000 πωλήσεις στο Xbox Live Arcade και έτσι αποτελεί άλλο ένα ’success story’ της συγκεκριμένης πλατφόρμας.[next]

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Racing mini-game της Audi καθοδόν στο Home

Racing mini-game της Audi καθοδόν στο Home | Game 2.0

Όπως ανακοίνωσε η Sony στην Ε3, η Audi θα αποκτήσει τον δικό της χώρο στο Home σύντομα.

Στο Audi space θα βρείτε μεταξύ άλλων ένα racing mini-game και ένα τηλεοπτικό κανάλι με περιεχόμενο σχετικό με την εταιρεία.[next]

Διαθέσιμο στο Live το πρώτο επεισόδιο του Fable II

Διαθέσιμο στο Live το πρώτο επεισόδιο του Fable II | Game 2.0

To πρώτο επεισόδιο του Fable II είναι πλέον διαθέσιμο δωρεάν στο Xbox Live Marketplace.

Υπενθυμίζω ότι η Microsoft χώρισε το Fable II σε πέντε downloadable επεισόδια και μόλις ολοκληρώσετε το πρώτο, μπορείτε να αγοράσετε το επόμενο όταν αυτό γίνει διαθέσιμο.[next]

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Η Rockstar “πιστεύει” στο L.A.Noir

Η Rockstar “πιστεύει” στο L.A.Noir – Gameover.gr

Ένα πέπλο μυστηρίου καλύπτει το L.A.Noir και παρά το γεγονός ότι η γενικότερη μυστικοπάθεια της Rockstar βάζει τους φίλους της σε υποψίες, η ίδια η εταιρία εμφανίζεται ιδιαίτερα καθησυχαστική. Σύμφωνα με ένα δελτίο Τύπου, η ανάπτυξη του τίτλου όχι μόνο συνεχίζεται κανονικά, αλλά απεναντίας βρίσκεται σε προχωρημένο στάδιο[next]

Την άνοιξη του 2010 το Front Mission

Την άνοιξη του 2010 το Front Mission – Gameover.gr

Η Square Enix αποφάσισε τελικά να πάρει θέση σχετικά με την ημερομηνία κυκλοφορίας του Front Mission: Evolved, μια ανακοίνωση την οποία οι περισσότεροι ανέμεναν να γίνει κατά τη διάρκεια του Tokyo Games Show.[next]

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Στις 20/11 το Pokémon Explorers of the Sky

Στις 20/11 το Pokémon Explorers of the Sky – Gameover.gr

H Nintendo επιβεβαίωσε πως το Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky, θα κυκλοφορήσει στην Ευρώπη για Nintendo DSi και Nintendo DS στις 20 Νοεμβρίου. Τα Phanpy, Vulpix, Riolu, Shinx και Eevee θα ενταχθούν στο ρόστερ των Pokémon για πρώτη φορά, με τα Partner Pokémon να φτάνουν τα 21 και τα Hero Pokémon τα 19.[next]

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Οι εκδόσεις του Assassin’s Creed II

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Σχεδόν δύο μήνες πριν την άκρως αναμενόμενη κυκλοφορία του, η Ubisoft ανακοίνωσε τις τελικές εκδόσεις του Assassin’s Creed II. Πέρα από την απλή έκδοση, η νέα δημιουργία της Ubisoft θα διατεθεί σε δύο, ειδικές συλλεκτικές συσκευασίες, με τις διαφορές μεταξύ τους να μην είναι απλά και μόνο χρωματικές. Η “Black” έκδοση θα περιλαμβάνει μια μαύρη, “Master Assassin”, φιγούρα του Ezio, τρεις έξτρα αποστολές εντός του παιχνιδιού, ένα αποκλειστικό “conspiracy” βιβλίο και το soundtrack του τίτλου.[next]

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The Seekrit Post

badjawa — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 07:58:48 +0000

Wotcha everyone,

Last night I decided to have a look at a couple of games heading to a server near me soon, and ended up joining The Templars.

Well, I was just having a look, really.

My curiosity had been piqued by Ysharros’s adventures in Tha Seekrit Wurld; it’s always fun looking at games, and daydreaming about all the possibilities that they offer. And I’m finding it really hard to call it The Secret World since Ysharros made me giggle muchly.

I’d had a look at Aion, and was mildly interested. The concept of combat in flight is nice, but I’m just wondering if it’s going to be hovering in place blasting spells off, as opposed to standing on the ground blasting spells off. I’m also somewhat wary of NCSoft’s fantasy offerings since I had a brief look at Lineage 2.

I didn’t play Lineage 2 for long. I chalk up my negative experiences in Lineage 2 to a small number of annoying players, rather than a bad game, but it was still enough to put me off playing the game for any appreciable length of time. I shall see what the reviews of Aion are like, and if any of my friends are intending to play it before I decide to part with moneys. Yes, I’m far too experience-biased. It’s one of the reasons I don’t play SOE games any more. And cry every time a good looking game gets tagged by them. Looking at you, Pirates of the Burning Sea.

Then I had a look at Tha Seekrit Wurld (heheh. Heheheh). I went on their website and took the Which Flavour Do You Like? test, and ended up with Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie: In your face, and not too subtle. Or “The Templars”, as the site called it.

One thing it did do was make me sit up and wonder about the various groups that are at the core of the PvP mechanic. Previously I’d just seen marketing artwork and dismissed the various uniforms and outfits. Well done Funcom, credit where it’s due.

I must admit to a certain amount of over-analysis when it comes to choosing a side. Like so many, I love the sure Special Snowflakeyness of choosing the least popular side. So I shall investigate the differing factions a little more. Probably in another post. Too much rambling here already.

I also like putting on my ANGRY face when doing these sorts of tests. I think it’s because I am, on the whole (and as mentioned previously) a humanist. I *like* playing the humans, so when I see a game background that talks about fighting squacky monsties bent on eating people’s faces off, my protective gene wakes up and starts looking for a shotgun. It makes me want to boot down doors, aim for the face, and laugh maniacally as I save humanity from such squamous and rugose terrors. No, the ends do not justify the means…

That makes me a Templar, it seems.

So at the very least, Ysharros, you’ll have someone to beat up.

None of this is hiding the fact that I really, really hope Funcom get this one right. I enjoyed playing Age of Conan (the bits that worked, that is) and whilst it had its major flaws, I felt that there was more to it than some pretty pictures and some awful gender politics (and a bucket-load of bugs, flaws and mistakes). Target-less healing was one of the lovely things I saw. Cones are cool, and for more than just ice-cream or roadworks.

Here’s hoping that Funcom’s attempts to change the way we look at, and play games, works this time. I’m really hoping that the class-less system works; the last time I saw that was in Star Wars Galaxies (can you see why I don’t play SOE games any more?), and I’d love to see another game where character progression is not tied to killing monsters (Oh look, having just killed this Nastypainydeathosaur[1], I’ve now learned how to make +2 Chainmail Hoodies and Plum-Cola!).

There is a large part of me that wonders if this classless concept tied to PvP will lead to cookie-cutter builds with a flavour-of-the-month feel, but I’m not too worried about that. For a start, it will mean I really stand out with my focus on healing stuff. Furthermore, those builds tend towards the solo, whereas it doesn’t matter how good your build is if:

a) You can’t play that well, and

b) I have 20 mates pounding you into the dirt.

Because I’m rubbish at looking for new games (being the instant-gratification sort, I hate waiting for that whole alpha/beta/open beta cycle to finish, yet really appreciate it when a game is not released early), I’m wondering if it’s worth checking out reviews for Aion, and possibly ordering it for Friday’s release.

I shall ponder. Tea shall be required for this one.

Cheers,

Hawley.

[1] The Nastypainydeathosaur was discovered near Preston, Lancashire in 1924, by a small child who was out walking what was soon to be a very disappointed dog.

The Secret World Beta Sign Up

Eddie — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 23:56:32 +0000

For information on The Secret World and Beta sign up please visit our article The Secret World Beta

Imágenes de Secret World

Armando — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 15:46:25 +0000

El hypeante juego de Funcom que nos traslada a un mundo esotérico y lleno de seres malvados y cuervos se deja mostrar escuetamente con 4 imágenes. Esperemos que el juego siga un camino diferente que el Age of Conan… o no.

Νέο trailer και πρώτες in-game εικόνες για το The Secret World

xollothnews — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 03:18:00 +0000

Νέο trailer και πρώτες in-game εικόνες για το The Secret World | Game 2.0

H Funcom έδωσε στη δημοσιότητα άλλο ένα trailer του νέου ΜΜΟ που ετοιμάζει, ονόματι The Secret World. Δυστυχώς, και αυτό το trailer είναι CGI, οπότε θα πρέπει να αρκεστείτε στις πρώτες in-game εικόνες του παιχνιδιού[next]

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Piano, guitar - trống. Tulip - xương rồng

Onaty Dinh — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 19:29:37 +0000

Có gì mâu thuẫn nhau không trong những khái niện trên? Hình như không, chúng tồn tại độc lập, không cộng sinh.

Vậy có gì mâu thuẫn nhau không nếu chúng tồn tại trong cùng một chỉnh thể như những khía cạnh khác nhau không tách rời? Điều này thì tôi không rõ.

Ngày bé tôi thích được học piano và guitar lắm, thích cảm giác những ngón tay lướt trên phím đàn tạo ra thứ âm thanh dịu ngọt và mê đắm. Nhắm mắt và lắng nghe…

Cũng từ ngày bé tôi thích mình làm chủ một bộ trống, để có thể đập liên hồi vào đấy những âm thanh rộn rã, đôi khi là âm thanh của cơn thịnh nộ đangbộc phát. Dốc hết sức và giải phóng cơ thể…

Nếu thấy một Tôi mê mẩn nghe một bản hòa tấu của piano và guitar, bạn sẽ không tưởng tượng được một Tôi huỳnh huỵch với trống và rock. Hay ngược lại.

Như tulip đơn giản và tinh tế, còn xương rồng gai góc và mạnh mẽ.

Cả hai tính cách tồn tại song song.

Hai đêm nay đi từ bất ngờ này đến bất ngờ khác, cả ngày trong đầu chỉ chứa một câu hỏi và một ý nghĩ thôi thúc, nhưng càng lao vào càng thấy mình lọng cọng và không thể nắm bắt được nữa. Khi sự bỡ ngỡ và bất ngờ dần mất đi nhường chỗ cho phân tích và cân lượng, ấy là khi biết mình không thực sự sẵn sàng để đón nhận.

“Hãy để cuộc sống tự nhiên trôi, tự nhiên chảy, những người có duyên với nhau sẽ tìm thấy nhau!”

Secret World

duzitozz — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:39:29 +0000

Maluco…primeiras imagens do jogo…ptuz…fodastico….

A Funcom (Age of Conan) esta prestes a lançar seu proximo trabalho o MMORPG (game online para multidões) Secret World.

Com inspirações em mitologia, teorias da conspiração e mistérios de todos os tipos, o jogo vem prometendo juntar a realidade aumentada e redes sociais. Você escolhe entre três categorias : Illuminati, Dragons e Templars. Os Jogadores não tem nenhum tipo de nivel e as experiências obtidas seram direcionadas a aprender novos poderes e abilidades mantendo assim um equilibrio entre jogadores antigos e novos.


Vai sair para o esquentadinho 360 e o play 3 até o momento (vai que decidem sair pra pc tambem). Não tem data marcada para lançamento mas o game promete. Vamos ver se só é grafico ou se vai ser divertido. Assim que sair novidades estaremos informando.



Shhhh... pt 2.
ChainTrap — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 14:13:02 +0000
I know… i know… there’s only so many times I can use Shhhh as a title for a post about The Secret World. But I’m not in a terribly creative place today, and in keeping with the theme of not being creatve, this post is a simple linky post to Ysharros’ guide to TSW info already out there. Read it, for TSW info is good. Even if it does come from a Dargon!!1oneone.



The Secret World - Factional Archetypes
Templar_unknown — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 13:33:14 +0000
Today is a truly exciting day, as I look through the Packet handed to me by the mysterious man. The information contained within has many revelations, and even corroborates some of my findings.
But, some of these findings also terrify me as well. Can there truly be such evil awaiting us? And do those who are attempting to hold back the tide have the power to complete their missions?
It seems each of the Factions are doing so in their own way. So, first let me go over this information on these entities and see if we can glean some hope against this future of despair..
____________________________________________


The Dragon:

For the members of the Dragon society, war is deception, patience, and virtue. The Templar believe in righteousness; the Illuminati believe in doing whatever it takes; but the Dragon believe in manipulating others to fight one another, and biding their time until the right moment to make their mark. This includes constantly pitting the Illuminati and the Templars against one another, watching from the shadows in secret while the two ancient enemies engage in combat.

Of the three societies, the Dragon could be considered the wildcard, as the least is known about them. They make their home in Seoul.
(Source)
____________________________________________

The Illuminati:
A subterranean base below a warehouse in New York is the home of the Illuminati, and they are quite the nasty bunch. To them, power represents, well, everything and they’ll do anything to get it, even if it means blackmail or worse. They don’t believe in blood or heritage like the Templar. In this organization, it’s all about what you’ve done and what you can do for the society. The Illuminati are effectively the super secretive bad boys, but ultimately their goals are similar to the other two factions — at least, we think.
(Source)
____________________________________________

The Templar’s:
The Templars, an ancient group around since the dawn of time. Grounded in discipline and unshakable faith, they are crusaders. With an enormous stone HQ in the center of London they are far from surreptitious and notably un-secret in their society. Holding tradition and honor dear, The Templars are the closest you can get to playing with the good guys in The Secret World, though they’ll take down anything and anyone for the greater good.
(Source)
____________________________________________
The only information which holds ground in this data, is the fact that the Templar and the Illuminati are true enemies against each other, yet the Dragon looks to create a balance, but through Chaos.
Could we surmise that the Templar’s and the Illuminati are trying for Order and Law? But each in their own way?
The only other data we have at this point is that the Templar are headquartered in London, The Illuminati in New York (as I surmised) and the Dragon in Seoul, S. Korea.
The headquarters of each will allow the group to hide from each other. But, as well, discussion of infiltrations have been noted by some factions. Flags of the Illuminati have been found on Templar soil.
I am still going through the packet, and have gathered quite a bit of lore on a place known as Agartha. I will try to post more as I have time.
Today I am off to Ground Zero as the families and victims of 9/11 gather, I wish to make sure nothing goes wrong in this time of mourning…