A man doesn’t have time in his life
to have time for everything.
He doesn’t have seasons enough to have
a season for every purpose. Ecclesiastes
Was wrong about that.

A man needs to love and to hate at the same moment,
to laugh and cry with the same eyes,
with the same hands to throw stones and to gather them,
to make love in war and war in love.
And to hate and forgive and remember and forget,
to arrange and confuse, to eat and to digest
what history 
takes years and years to do.

A man doesn’t have time.
When he loses he seeks, when he finds
he forgets, when he forgets he loves, when he loves
he begins to forget.

And his soul is seasoned, his soul
is very professional.
Only his body remains forever
an amateur. It tries and it misses,
gets muddled, doesn’t learn a thing,
drunk and blind in its pleasures 
and its pains.

He will die as figs die in autumn,
Shriveled and full of himself and sweet,
the leaves growing dry on the ground,
the bare branches pointing to the place
where there’s time for everything. 

-Yehuda Amichai “A Man in His Life”

-AR

Pink Sherbert Photography

In these moments.. Moments of pure bliss from the (figurative) hands of another person.. In these moments we begin to doubt.. We question the purity and simplicity of the sparkling chemistry.. We dig too deep to understand the rate of speed our liking is traveling.. We search for any modicum of negativity that proves that these flutters in our stomach are nothing more than the leftover moths of loves past..

We believe that this.. Thing.. We’ve come across is “too good to be true”.. The magnetism is a sign of trouble rather than a sign to forge ahead, even if carefully so.. We read into every questionable action but disregard the simple cues that he really is “into” us.. We focus on the minute nicks in the new possible union that would surely shred this thing into unrecognizable pieces.. We take the time to wonder.. Why? Why am I so deserving of something like this.. So simple, easy.. carefree even?

In these moments of doubt.. We must remind ourselves that no thing is guaranteed.. But even so, we must discover all that life and love have to offer..

Last night.. I decided to seize the moments.. Allow each second of time to exist on its own accord knowing that I could not predict the future or change the past.. Knowing that so far.. So good.. Everything I have seen has led me to believe that forging ahead.. carefully and as carefree as possible will not be a one-way deal.. I have picked apart everything that I possibly could up until this point.. But logic made no sense in his presence..

Only emotions were allowed.. Emotions whether good or bad.. Allow us to open ourselves up to living boldly.. Logic forces us to “think it through”.. Today I said the hell with logic.. I decided to allow myself to live in the moment as long as I can..

If the moment only lasts a day.. I will have to be okay with that.. And if somehow.. The moment lasts longer.. I pray I’ll be blessed to revel in it.. Somewhere in those moments I will find happiness and laughter.. Perhaps I will find love.. But only time could tell you that.. Above all.. I hope to release negative thinking from my being and understand what it means to “carpe diem”..

I cannot deny that a strong force exists that draws us to each other.. So I won’t try.. I will just allow myself to live inside each moment totally.. I won’t focus on what may go wrong.. And I won’t worry about what may become of this.. I will only focus on the here and now..

I make this promise to myself and this mysterious creation of man.. To seek each moment in and of itself for as long as I am allowed and revel in it for as long as I possibly can..

Xoxo,

m. lauren..
carpe the moment

Kwame Kwei-Armah’s new play is showing at the Tricycle as part of its “Not Black and White” season.  A satire about the choices made by a potential black mayoral candidate for London, the script is erudite and taut, particularly in the second act, and the performances first rate.  Star plaudits go to Aml Ammen as Lavelle, a street thug with 11 a-grade GCSEs, a powerful radar for the politics of race and a screamingly obvious humanity. The celebrity candidate, Jeremy, is played with oodles of charm and winning naivety by Kobna Holdbrook-Smith, but he makes the right choices in the face of pressure from Karl Collins’  venal kingmaker Howard Jones (not the 80s pop star, one of the characters points out).  There are nice touches in the relationships between characters, particularly in the contrast between Jeremy’s sad, broken relationship with his wife Alice (Amelia Lowdell) and his testosterone-fueled affair with Susan (Sharon Duncan-Brewster), the girl who, bucking the tend in politics, really does turn out to be the love of his life.

Slickly directed by the author, the play, for all the humble venue and the lack of truly star names, is a hugely  rewarding experience, and unravels black politics for an audience of whatever colour in a way that is effortlessly unpatronising.

When life gets me down, I just think of this song.  Today is a day in which I thought of this song…

Here are the lyrics:
I know a girl who was schooled in Manhattan
She reads dusty books and learns phrases in Latin
She is an author, or maybe a poet
A genius, but it’s just this world doesn’t know it
She works on her novel most everyday
If you laugh she will say

Chorus
Seize the day – seize whatever you can
‘Cause life slips away just like hourglass sand
Seize the day – pray for grace from God’s hand
Then nothing will stand in your way
Seize the day

Well I know a doctor, a fine young physician
Left his six figure job for a mission position
He’s healing the sick in an African village
He works in the dirt and writes home to the cynics
He says ‘We work through the night so most everyday
As we watch the sun rise we can say….

Repeat Chorus

I know a man who’s been doing some thinking
He’s as bitter and cold as the whiskey he’s drinking
He’s talking ’bout fear, about chances not taken
If you listen to him you can hear his heart breaking
He says ‘One day you’re a boy and the next day you’re dead
I wish way back when someone had said….

Repeat Chorus

Well one thing I’ve noticed wherever I wander
Everyone’s got a dream he can follow or squander
You can do what you will with the days you are given
I’m trying to spend mine on the business of living
So I’m singing my songs off of any old stage
You can laugh if you want – I’ll still say….

Repeat Chorus

Carpe diem.  Seize the day.  Make the most of today.  Everyday.  Of life.

I keep thinking about how important it is to be true to yourself and to satisfy yourself- your spirit, your soul, your aspirations and goals- on a broader scale rather than on day to day, quotidian terms.  I don’t want to take for granted my time here… I want to take advantage of it.  I want to go out and explore.  Take pictures. Feel free.  Connect.  Be happy.

The song “I Wish I Could Go Back to College” from the musical Avenue Q keeps coming back to me… it goes “I wish I could go back to college/ …I wish I had taken more pictures”.  I know my time here, both in France and in college, is short.  The song kind of reminds me of that and how I don’t want to look back with regrets.

I already posted a “Words to Live By” quote by Mark Twain here, but I think it captures this feeling perfectly, so I’ll share it again.  It goes:

In 20 years, you will be more disappointed by what you didn’t do than by what you did.

I think it’s something we all need to be reminded of once in awhile

Make the most of your day life.

xxo

“Baila como si nadie te estuviera viendo. Ama como si nunca te hubieran herido. Canta como si nadie te oyera. Trabaja como si no necesitaras el dinero. Vive como si hoy fuera tu último día.”

Wherever you are, whatever you are doing…be all there. Put your all into it because you’ll wash your hands of regrets. Someone once said, when people are breathing their last moments, they never say “I wish I had never done this…” but instead, they utter a lot of “I wish I had done…”

Life is huge. There is room for mistakes, room for tears, room for failures…but also a gazillion opportunities out there to make your life worth living, mistakes worth making, things and people worth crying for, and successes whose prerequisite is failure.

Aja! Co len! Fighting!

It’s so crazy for me to think that” Bryan asked me to marry him more than one year ago. I can hardly believe how fast the year flew by! I remember being asked nearly every day “So, when’s the big day!?” this question was repeatedly asked by so many people, strangers and friends that I missed the journey, and I focused in on “the big day,” instead of every individual day leading up to it.

There is so much pressure to get that “career job,” so much anticipation leading up to “the big day,” and so many voices asking “what are you going to do next” after graduation that we miss the journey, and become slaves to the destination. I’m not ready for the destination – I’m too young, too inexperienced, and interested in too many different things to settle down and focus on one. The destination is the end and I’m only a few steps from the starting line. Enjoy the journey.

Growth is all that matters. If you’re growing and learning in everything you do, then you’re moving in the right direction, you’re taking steps toward where you ultimately want to be. If you’re not – then get out and find something that will help you grow. Attitude is an extremely powerful thing – some would say it’s everything. If you keep telling yourself that you’re stuck in a rut with no way out, you’ll ultimately always hold yourself back. But if your attitude is that you aren’t putting anything off – that you’re working your way toward achieving your goals and dreams, then you WILL get there. Keep working, continue networking and meeting new people, use the tools around you to your advantage, write, communicate, and continually shape and mold your reputation.

Now, that I have a wonderful job, and am continually asked “what do you do?” in regards to career, I am careful not to become a slave to my career.

Remember when you were a kid how easy it was to just let things go – to live without worry – when the biggest concern was who got to play the dad and who was stuck as the dog playing “House” during recess? Somewhere along the way we lost that innocence.

My husband and I are so thankful to have found a church where we really feel accepted. Last weekend, Bryan and I met these amazing women who told us that they’ve been friends/roomates since the begining of college! When I was in college I remember feeling like it was never going to end. I felt untouchable, invincible, that I could do anything I wanted. And now I’ve graduated. And , yes everythin has changed! Suddenly, my friends are dispersed across the country and my husband and I are talking kids and mortgage!

We are so anxious (including myself) to preach that work/life balance myth. I think the only way one is able to integrate the two into one happy passionate lifestyle is when you absolutely enjoy what you do every single day. Save your love for what really matters. When I move on from this life and leave this world, I’d much rather be remembered as a loving wife, an admirable mother, and a devoted friend before people say I was a hard worker and a successful businesswoman. I welcome my career as a part of my life, but I refuse to let BE my life.

I totally enjoy my job, but enjoy and love are different things. Love is a strong word – a word that shouldn’t even be used for your work. I Love my husband, I love making new friends, I love my parents, and my siblings. But, a job? That doesn’t require love. It requires commitment, dedication, hard work, maybe even passion – but not love. If you like you’re job – commited, ded the rest will fall into place, and it won’t feel like “work”.

Now is the time to “Seize the Day”. You have your whole life to figure out where you are going to live and work.

Sometimes the best of plans go awry. And my 21-day Promise did just that. I can blame it on vacation, the trying to catch-up after vacation–and I still have things to unpack–the busy life we all have. The macro above is ground foliage beside the Black River in Gogebic County, Michigan.

The List

10/21 Friday, Day 1 of Vacation– I did not rush or freak ot when we departed alter than expected. I just moved slower and accepted the pace.

11/21 Saturday, Day 2 of Vacation–Thanks to pre-trip planning the lack of a microwave (promised with our room) was no big deal I ate a bowl of Quaker Oat Squares with almonds and Okios yogurt. The slow pace set from yesterday was good training for my feet as rain slowed us further on the trails of the Porcupine Mountains.

12/21 Sunday, Day 3 of Vacation–Sun still not out, Mike and I raise early and expectant and head to Lake of the Clouds with an inner glow. I accepted the spontaneity needed on the rainy trip and flowed as needed.

13/21 Monday, Day 4 of Vacation–It was a secret that we arrived home last night. I claimed this day as mine by not rushing back into my work week. Letting my muscles recover. Not hearing the phone ring off the hook.

14/21 Tuesday and Back-to-Work–I started the day knowing the weight I gained on the trip was temporary and packed a good healthy lunch and snack.

15/21 Wednesday–Started my day with physical therapy, difficult and deep neck adjustments that left me sore for two days. I still planned fitness for later in the day meeting with Olivia for coaching on my running. Ran the inner trails of Presque Isle.

16/21 Thursday–Realizing I could have called this Promise and List Carpe Diem–Seize the Day. But it seems too strong of wording. Today claiming the morning meant sleeping to 7:45 and waking to a beautiful sunrise.

Soundtrack-Beitrag von Wax Tailor zum Film “Paris”

Forget Carpe Diem – seize the day. It’s much more fun to seize the crazy. (And, yeah, I know, it’s probably not correct Latin. But the crazy doesn’t care.)

“Carpe loco – seize the crazy” is available on t-shirts and other stuff at my shop at CafePress.

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tags humor, humorous, fun, funny, tshirt, tshirts, t-shirt, t-shirts, comedy. comic, silly,

One day, one day, one day. Some day. She chanted as she spun, feeling the soft fabric brush against her thighs and the cool sharp grass under her feet. One day, one day, one day. Some day it would happen. The light broke into a kaleidoscope of sound, dancing around her eyes and playing in her auburn hair, pulling her down with it. One day, one day. One. Day.  A beetle stoically, heroically climbed its way up the mountain of her shoulder, clinging to her bare skin and rested in all its dignity upon her lonely throat. One day, one day, one day. The movements were a massage for his exhausted feet; he decided that this mountain was a friend and he would stay awhile longer. One day, one day. Some day. Some day she would make it, what ‘it’ was she was not entirely sure. But one day, one day, one day. She felt the beetle on her lips. One……  no more could she say. Unfocused, her eyes tracked his stillness. The little creature flew out into the sky, her lips closed and the sounds ran free back to the light. Stoically, heroically, she stood and went out into the day.

In a rare deviation from the yarn marketers are paid to spin, this is a true story.

As a conscripted recruit over a decade ago, my daily objective was unwavering: get away with doing as little as possible. The point came when I was given a choice as to which of two guts-and-glory paths I would prefer to pursue for the remainder of my military stint. It is hardly surprising that I declined both and requested the path of least resistance – or so it was perceived.

The interviewer, roughly twice my age, took it in his stride. With a knowing nod, he said:

Be careful what you wish for, because what you think you want may not be what you think it is.

I didn’t get what I thought I wanted, and I’m thankful. Because true enough, it wasn’t quite what I imagined it to be.

The moral of this story is simply that whoever tells you to seize life by the balls often forgets to say keep your eyes open so you know when to let go.

I’m a bit nostalgic today.  Hubby’s cousin has just announced he’s Europe bound with no concrete plans, no return ticket and probably very little money in his pocket.  Here’s a mere 25, not working and about to embark on a life changing experience.  And, to be totally honest…. I’m green with envy! 

I’ve been suggesting that he take this trip for years.   I’ll admit, I’m a bit biased, I myself have taken this journey of self exploration twice in my life.  Once right out of college and, a second time when I was “trying to find myself” a couple of years later.  Deciding to take this adventure was a scary step and at times it was overwhelming but I can say, unequivocally, that it was the best experience of my life.   Through both trips, I backpacked through 19 different countries, I sucked up as much culture and beauty as each country could offer.  I met wonderful people, I drank amazing wine, sunned myself on extravagant beaches, absorbed inspiring history, and even tested my will as I trekked on glaciers in the Swiss Alps.  It was a time of my life where I could go anywhere, at any time and do anything I wanted.  I was FREE!  Free of responsibility, free to explore, free to live!  It was a time in my life, where I gained tremendous self confidence and I learned to be independent and self sufficient.  To this day, I would argue that I gained more valuable life skills from this trip than I had from any other experience before or after.

These trips were over 15 yeas ago.  And the memories and knowledge that I gained from this journey have continued to serve me well in every aspect of my life to this very day.  I’m grateful for the opportunity, and I’m grateful my parents encouraged me to explore not only other cultures but also myself.

So, what’s the point of my post.. .other than my own trip down memory lane?  

Well, I guess it’s to suggest taking a different perspective on seizing opportunities that present themselves.  Taking that first step can be scary and overwhelming but, without taking a single step, you may never have the opportunity to see what’s out there or, to open the door to new experiences.

Obviously, I’m in a far different place right now than I was in my early 20s.   I have responsibilities, a husband, a mortgage and so on.  But, if you find yourself unemployed, and there’s something you’ve always wanted to do.  Perhaps the lesson here is to take that leap and experience life to it’s fullest.  Who knows what sort of learning will come from it. 

And, maybe 15 years later, you’ll look back and say, “you know what, that was the best thing I ever did!”.

30 Years + 3 Days

***

Today was a weird day.  There’s a lot of things going on in Trish-land, from planning travel arrangements some of my friends and family deem completely insane, to wavering on whether or not to tell a guy friend of mine I’ve had feelings for him for probably a few months…or six…no, seven?  What can I say?  I take awhile to process things.

The former is a bunch of logistics, like whether or not my 75 year-old landlord will possibly let me out of my lease a month or two early (what do you bribe 75 year-olds with?  Gift cards to cheesy restaurants like Carrow’s?).  The latter is much more complicated…not only because I met him through friends, but because once it’s out there you can’t take it back and no matter what anyone says it will change the relationship as you know it forever…even if you both never formally act on it.

One thing that definitely changes from your 20’s to 30’s is that you realize how rare it is to meet people of the opposite sex that you are not only attracted to, but actually want to spend more than the time it takes to down a grande latte with.  Maybe it’s the biological clock tick-ticking or the fact that most of my girlfriends are in serious relationships (and some with children!), but my “game playing” days might finally be over.  I want to find someone special.  There, I said it.  Oh, and when I say game playing, I really mean emotionally guarded dysfunction.  It’s hard to give up because I’m so darn good at it.

29 Year-Old Trish: Tell a guy you like him?!?  Pssssshhhh.  Are you freaking serious??  Have you not seen He’s Just Not That Into You?

30 Year-Old Trish: Enough with that movie already, geesh.  You’re so scary only the cockiest a-holes are brave or dumb enough to approach you.  Isn’t it about time we let the Great Walls of Trish down?  How many good guys have we shut out over the years who could’ve been amazing?

25 Year-Old Trish: Whatever!  If a guy likes you HE’S supposed to tell YOU!!!!!  Jump through any and every fiery hoop!  You’re so OLD and…and STUPID!!!

30 Year-Old Trish: You never listen.  A guy is not going to tell you he likes you if you act like an aloof snob.

22 Year-Old Trish: But I’m not a snob!  I’m super nice to everyone!

30 Year-Old Trish: Yeah.  EXCEPT GUYS YOU LIKE!

Talking to my previous selves…on a blog.  This can’t be healthy.  Time to wrap this up!

A minor detail I should include is that I may have waited too long.  He’s now in a relationship and we’re not communicating as much.  So yeah…this would be more about me just expressing myself honestly for once (in the love department that is) than any kind of romantic happy ending (at least certainly for now).

But I should do it, right?  With age comes growth?  Seize the day?  No regrets!

Though he did forgot to text me on my birthday…so lame…hmmm…I could just wait a few more months…

We’ll see.  Growing (up) kinda sucks.

(to be continued…who knows how darn long…)

There are so many things that we take for granted in life. Let me share one that is not so philosophical. We take Long Island for granted. Now, some of you that are reading this blog have moved away and only remember the Long Island of growing up and for those of you who are still living on LI you see the Rt. 110 traffic, LIE craziness and the tons of strip malls and mega malls Long Island. But I am here to tell you, that yesterday; Chaim and I took advantage of one of Long Island’s greatest resources, the BEACH. We forget we live on an island, yes, much like any other island, Bahamas, Jamaica, etc. Ok, so we don’t have palm trees and most of the year it is too cold to enjoy our island beaches, but still, this is an island and there is sand and sun to be enjoyed.
Taking all the precautions I need to (covering up so I am not exposed to too much sun, wearing sneakers instead of flip flops as not to step on anything and get a cut) we went down to Robert Moses and enjoyed a tremendous beach day. It happened to be a “feel good” weekend for me (not chemo side effects), seems to be the weekend before chemo is the best, so I am definitely made the best of the day and this whole weekend.
So, let’s dive into Carpe diem – seize the day and not taking anything for granted. Since we know we never know what will be and with all the planning one might do, there are always glitches and wrenches thrown in and things change. So what have you not done that would allow you to Carpe Diem? What are you not taking advantage of? What are you waiting for? Please feel free to comment here and really let me know what you would do.
As my “feeling good” weekend comes to an end, I am trying to think what else I can do to Carpe diem. I will start the day with a nice brisk walk because believe it or not, exercise is something not to take for advantage. When I am feeling good a brisk walk is an amazing thing to be able to do, walking let’s me think, clears my mind, puts things in perspective and burns calories. You don’t need classes or fancy exercise machines, just a good pair of legs and sneakers. Last week, I could only think about walking, I was so physically down, so my friends go take a brisk walk, 3o minutes can change your life, do that today, and start a new routine. Don’t take that ability for granted.
The other thing I would do is spend time with your family and friend. I have a special relationship with my husband. We spend a lot of time together and that has always kept us close. So I combine my walking and my husband and every day that we can, we have our time to connect while we take a walk. If you have a special partner or friend, use that time to walk.
So off I go, Chaim is waiting…

More prints from Studio Mela’s Etsy Shop below…

Becoming your own time 'lord'

Where did the year go?

If you’ve found yourself uttering this, you’ve recognised that time speeds up as you get older. The main reason is that as we age, each new year becomes  an ever diminishing proportion of our total time on the planet. Between the age of one and two that year represents living half of your life again. Whereas by the age of ten, another year means living a tenth of your life. And on it goes, the incredibly shrinking year. When you were a child and you were told ‘we’re going out in a hour’, you’d think ‘No! Do I have to wait a whole hour?’ Now if someone says you’ll be going out in an hour you’d complain ‘An hour? I’ll never be ready in time’.

So the question is, can we do anything about it? Can we slow time?

Slowing It Down, Spicy Style
In Making Time,  Steve Taylor sets out the psychological laws of time and how we can change our perception of time. One law follows the theme of ‘variety is the spice of life’ or ‘a change is as good as a rest’.  So to slow down time you need to seek out new experiences and new environments. Do you have any secret goes or ambitions that you forego for a few hours in front of the television? Just breaking up your routine can help. Have you ever noticed that the first time you go somewhere no, the journey seems longer than the next time? That’s because the second time you go your brain has mapped out the journey and it’s already started to become familiar and for some of the decision you react automatically. So mix things up a little. Take different routes on familiar journeys, try a new food every week, go shopping at different places, read a type of book or newspaper different to your normal choices, try out some classes and so on. Try some personal experiments doing different things to see if you can slow time. Also, write down some short-term, medium term and long term goals and act on them.

Speeding It Up (but being happier)
Another psychological law of time is something of a paradox. When we are absorbed in something we love doing then time seems to go more quickly. However to balance this, time spent in these states of total absorption is one definition of happiness. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (Chick-sent-me-high) calls this state of absorption being in ‘flow’. At the heart of his philosophy is also goal-setting. I remember a conversation with my granddad when I was about 14 years old. I asked him if he had any regrets. He had two: getting a tattoo and not planning for his retirement. I never understood the significance of ‘planning for retirement’ until I read Flow. We can set goals for just about anything, they are promises to ourselves – something to get out of bed, or off the couch  for.

The Alternative
Now there is an alternative ways to slow down time. Just sit there and do nothing just staring blankly into space. Paradoxically, each day will drag interminably but years will seem to fly by.

It’s Your Life So Take It Personally
As a teacher and a coach I subscribe to the philosophy  ‘It’s your life so take it personally‘. So don’t ‘kill time’ and don’t complain about having too much time on your hands or not enough time to do the things you like. Many of us waste time by choosing to do nothing else instead. You don’t have to look back over another year and ask ‘where the hell did the year go and what have I done with it?’ Okay, so you may not become a time ‘lord’ in the sense that you can travel across the universe but by using the psychological laws of time you can take charge of your destiny. So take a deep breath and get started. Time flies – seize the day.

Links:

Self-Help Videos

Good Morning Heart.

Welcome to the breaking of a new morning.

Open your eyes, stretch your imagination, and waken your mind.. and prepare yourself for an adventure you can scarcely imagine. Your life.

Each morning the world is anew with the light of day.

Now roll out of bed and put your feet on the floor. The sun is waking with it’s promise of a new beginning.

You can breathe easy. You hold in your hands the leash of fate. This day is yours, and anything to make happen if you choose it.

Today is your own.

Now all you have to do is seize it.

Last week I spent around forty minutes in an attempt to coax my friend to rise before the sun. I wanted to see it. I wanted to see a sunrise like the many I’ve seen. I wanted to get out of the house before the streetlights shut off for the day and go and walk and do something. We missed the sunrise. Instead we waded up to our knees in water still freezing from the night’s chill, murky with silt, forever unsettled. During my time arguing with this friend, she accused me of guilting her into it. I called her lazy-bones. I regard myself as a bit of an experience addict. I remember being briefly disappointed when faced with the fact that I don’t need braces. What teenager doesn’t have orthodontistry at some point? To make up for it, I spend the time I would spend with some person’s rubber gloved hand in my mouth watching the sun rise over Lake Michigan. Again. I wade ankle deep in the frigid waters, look at the upturned silt, swirling like my very thoughts. My father always told the best stories. When he was eleven or so he and a small group of friends took to navigating themselves around the storm drain system of his home town. Once his sisters jumped him and strapped him to a chair in order to apply make-up and a wig to see what he would look like as a girl. I find myself nostalgic of the spectacular childhood I never had, but he did. I’d better have an excellent adolescence. I have been reckless enough to satisfy my hormonal urges. My father can show off the scar on his chin from diving into the kiddie pool. I can show off three homemade piercings to my future children. And I regret none of it. My least favorite emotion, regret is an ugly smudge, an embarrassing pimple forever obscuring how awesome whatever you did like glass on which someone has puked. Been there, done that. If I shouldn’t do it again, there is no need, my experience addiction has been pacified. Yet there is so much left to do, it makes me mourn that I am not an early riser. I need to read a book, see a film, meet a friend. I need to eat avocado ice cream, dance badly in public, enter a fur shop merely to pet everything. I need to see that sunrise one more time with my feet submerged and obscured in tumultuous silt-water. I want to be able to recite Shakespeare as an arguing point. I want to have the confidence to break into song and dance. I want to get out there in any way I can and live! My time is far from up but I want no regrets, no coulda shoulda woulda, just a mental scrapbook filled to the brim and no physical scrapbook because I was too busy living to make one. I want to form a secret society, pretend I have superpowers, complete a bucket list before I can vote. I want to, and I plan to, go out and seize the day. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do.