You might have guilt after your long-term partner has passed away however after a certain amount of time you need to put your grieving aside and move on. You need to hold onto those memories. Remember the times when you were younger when you and your wife or husband looked forward to meeting up going out together. You need to create new memories and think your husband or wife would not of wanted you to site at home suffering.

If you have recently become divorced it can feel strange going out with someone for the first time. You might find you enjoy it more than when you were married. You might find that the nagging and constant moaning is gone, you enjoy cheerful conversation with someone new who introduces you to new things and people in life.

Only give information you are happy to divulge to you might think you might be able to trust them however confidence tricksters try to make their pray totally trust them. You should also be comfortable as to what amount of details you want to give away about yourself.

Remember it is never good to fall for someone on the rebound or rush into a relationship. As fast as your relationship has started it will quickly end. Your heart might take a lot longer to repair.

Online dating can be a great benefit for the over 50s. It gives you a chance to find love once again. If you are looking for love you should consider online dating, it is a great way to start conversing with other senior surfers. It is very important to get to create an honest profile for yourself. This might seem obvious but it is worth giving this some time and consideration, ask someone close for some advice.

If you want to meet your soulmate again we recommend you should try online dating. Most sites offer free registration. If you are entering the dating scene after many years of being in a relationship you might find things have moved on a bit. It is advisable to take your time get to know the other person, do not give personal details away. Chat to the other person online to make sure you can verify the person is who they say they are. View more than one photograph to make sure it is not photo from some Internet photo sharing website. If a person sends you a message but you don’t want to take things any further then don’t just ignore it. Contact them however be polite in your reply and let them know you are still looking.

It is important once you have signed up to be proactive, you must keep in regular contact with people there is the saying you must kiss plenty of frogs to find your prince, you must send out plenty of emails and browse profiles first to find your prince or princess. Sometimes after a break up emotions run deep, sometimes it is difficult to move forward and allow the healing into your life however as the saying goes there is always plenty of more fish in the sea.

How do you find love once again:

You need to set time to one side to pursue someone. You need to be proactive; the internet is the ideal place to look for a relationship. You need to log in regularly and be proactive in your search. It is important to contact other members on the dating community website and start chatting to them and build a presence on the dating website.

If your heat has been broken it is important to put it behind you and not feel every person of the opposite sex is the same. Do not fall into the trap of trusting someone who you meet straight away. Give yourself time to get over a break up or loss of a love one. It is important to get over the grieving time.

You need to realise it is over between you and your ex and learn from the past before you move on into the future. You can only find love if you love yourself. Take time to appreciate life and learn from others and enjoy the company of friends and relatives. Increase your social circles. If you do this you will realise you will one day start smiling again.

It is important to not be bitter. People who are bitter it normally shows on their face and it ages them.

It is important to improve your communication skills; we do not only talk with mouths we communicate in so many ways. Imagine an attractive woman chatting to a man. She or he would make eye contact. Possibly touch innocently the other person on the arm and stand facing the person they are talking to. You will notice they laugh a lot and the woman would possibly flick her hair. Hopefully you now have got the idea.

The ideal place to start is with a over 40s dating website because if you have a over 50s dating website there could be someone on there for instance 48 and you are fifty and you have completely missed the opportunity to meet someone special who is suitable for you.If you are thinking of getting back into dating you ideally need a dating website dedicated to mature dating so that you can find your ideal mature match.

The ideal place to start is with a over 40s dating website because if you have a over 50s dating website there could be someone on there for instance 48 and you are fifty and you have completely missed the opportunity to meet someone special who is suitable for you.

When you do meet someone who is more mature you have lots of advantages over someone who is younger. You more than likely have not got kids hanging onto your ankles and you do not want any more kids except for grand kids.

You are still young enough to live it up but not too old not get up out of the arm chair.  With more and more silversurfers out there you will be spoilt for choice.

If you have recently split up with someone remember there is plenty of more fish in the sea and you will soon quickly get hooked up with someone.

If you have recently split up with someone then finding someone else can help you cope with a broken heart better sometimes.

If you are looking to meet up with someone just for friendship our website has lots of other singles looking friendship and as well as long-term relationships.

Lots of mature singles find it difficult to get their mojo back after a divorce however once you register on our dating website you be surprised at how many singles there are out there in a similar situation to yourself who have similar values and interests.

Ideal Match Dating:

The way to find your ideal match is to review dating profiles, chat with other singles online before getting to know them so that you do not spend valuable time traveling up and down the country meeting time wasters.

Find a dating website that has postcode searching facilities so that you can find, chat and meet up with other singles who live close to you.

By chatting to potential suitor for a period of time you get to know them and find out if they are false and how truthful they are.  If they are false and put on a presence you will find this out after a few meetings.

By chatting meeting someone after a few dates you soon find out if they want you for who you are and not what you have. Have they got habits which will eventually wind you up?

You can experience new things in life such as going on a new date to a new restaurant or pub you’ve never been to before.

You might not start a relationship with that person however you might enjoy yourself and form a friendship.

If you are reading this and thinking of joining a mature dating website for the over 40’s, 50′s and 60′s.

Joining Mature Dating Websites:

Now days it is not only youngsters who join mature dating websites. Senior singles realise as they get older they do not want to be alone.

If you meet someone online it is a lot more fun and also a better experience than meeting them offline. You can learn to flirt after you have joined a mature dating website and you have more choice of singles who have the same objectives as you to find someone to love and spend the rest of their lives with.

Joining an online dating website gives you the opportunity to meet people outside of your area.
Senior dating websites are a convenient for busy professionals who have not got time to spend looking offline for available singles.

Once you start chatting to someone online meeting up is going to be a lot easier now that both of you have an idea of the person you have meet online. Dating websites have a features that help people find a suitable partner with the same or similar interest.

British Mature Dating:

If you are based in Great Britain and decide to join a UK mature dating website you can really be selective about who you date and how far you want to travel or not travel.

By joining up with a really popular UK dating site you will have more success looking for someone because your search narrows down other singles from the shear volume of mature singles.

Most dating websites now check the profiles of members to ensure they protect their members identity and safety so that baby boomers who have entered the dating scene can really experience the enjoyment of meeting other singles from the comfort of their own homes.

Partnerships

Keep close to your family and friends. They are the those who will take care of you as you grow more mature, but more than that: these are the kinds that love you. Enhance and take care of all those interactions as you may age so that you will get even much closer as time goes on.

Research suggests that one method to stay an extended and far healthier life is to form deep societal contacts. Usually do not less than-quote the healing worth of giving and getting adore. Ensure you make amount of time in your daily schedule to experience and strengthen the really like partnerships in your life. When you have distressed interactions with members of the family, spend some time and energy to repair them. By healing others, you start recovery your self and relieve tension through your daily life.

All right, we have reviewed the first couple of points concerning senior dating, of course you realize they play an important role. Of course we strongly recommend you learn more about them. We know they are terrific and will aid you in your quest for solutions. However, we always stress that anyone takes a closer look at the overall big picture as it applies to this subject. Continue reading because you do not want to miss these crucial knowledge items. Partnerships are crucial while we grow older. Keeping friendships and loved ones relationships help keep your mind healthy. It’s very good to have out and spend time carrying out fun issues with other individuals. It could be as elementary as walking around the obstruct, going to play bingo or having a picnic together with the grandkids on the playground.

Link properly with your family. You need to make certain that you happen to be hooking up nicely with the ones that you care about, trying to keep your energy proceeding. Should you abandon partnerships, you are going to fall into growing older and may even grow to be rather stressed out. Having other individuals in your area offers you quite a lot of assist for problems you encounter at the same time.

In summary, you want to ensure that you will be in tip top design even though you are getting older. It is far from easy to combat the regulations of the outdoors, but there is lots that can be done to at the very least increase the results. Ideally the recommendation on this page will benefit you.

You should always pick a public place for a first date to keep safe. That’s no more the way it is. Limit your search to sites that offer a standard as well as totally free membership.

Whether you may be recently single, or have gone quite a while without a companion, you’ll need to practice safe sex if you decide to “go all the way” with your date. Just as the Internet has changed dating services, technologies have improved dating since the last time you were single. Correspond with the person via e-mail for a time.

Mingle with friends and family, take instructional classes, as well as join church and seniors groups to ease back into the social world. Doing this you can see whether you actually like the dating site before paying for a membership. Make your user profile short and also to the point.

When dating in your 50s, it’s natural for you to wish to make yourself appear more of a catch. Older rules of adult dating are no longer observed and implementing them can hurt you. It is very important whenever looking for a brand new relationship to find a gentleman that has an abundance of patience.

The less embarrassed you might be, the more likely you you actually are going to be satisfied in your self, and you’ll present a stronger opportunity for a date. To have the confindence to become familiar with your date, avoid loud eating houses and also impersonal clubs with music way too loud to hear each other seeing that intimacy necessitates a personal connection. Whether it is close friends or perhaps loved ones, get a supporting network around you. Based on Frugal Living, “Smoking is awful on our bodies, lungs and also skin because it will certainly age you more quickly than most activities.”

Folks dating in their 50s sometimes feel awkward. Think carefully before you decide to saddle yourself with living up to someone else’s expectations if you aren’t completely at ease with them. As an example, if asked about physical activity, you can put in something about how you’re not as quick as an Olympic runner, nevertheless, you can still get yourself around the track. It is not necessary to write in great length with regards to retirement, grand kids or even previous romantic relationships.

We hope that you have found this post constructive on older women dating and I would highly advise to you check out this brand-new eBook relating to dating for professionals over 50 from Amazon to acquire more information, I’m sure you are going to like it!

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Consider it getting together with a friend for coffee and some small talk, not an interview with a brand new partner in life. This is definitely no longer the case. Before you get your feet wet, you might not want to provide your credit card information or commit to a monthly fee.

If perhaps you were in a monogamous romantic relationship or marriage for several years and want a refresher course in making use of a condom, check out information on the Mayo Clinic website or on a similar medical site. Work your way through the search engine results (other sites aside from the age-relevant types will be listed) and also note those that seem interesting to you. A senior who is conducting a search could get bored with exactly the same one-line openings.

Get back to the singles dating world gradually over time. Doing this you can determine whether you actually like the dating site before you spend money for a membership. People who are looking at a senior profile do not want to read your life story.

Search through your wardrobe and eliminate unflattering items. Write a single page informal article describing who you are, your strong points and your interests. For the very first date with someone new, ensure that it stays relaxed and short.

Along with the growth of internet dating, the stigma for being single 50 plus has lessened. Be ready to discuss specifics of your life, particular hobbies and unique stories, and also continue to be receptive to hear the same from her. Choose a partner who will be on time to dates and appointments and keeps his commitments. Stay hydrated and make sure you get sufficient sleep every evening.

It is normal to be uneasy as well as excited on the first date; but now you’ve got the confidence and finesse necessary to get to know someone minus the mind games. This means that you’ve still got a lot of time remaining, although not as much as you had at the time you were 20 or so. Mature adults that happen to be searching may welcome a new face, and also a good sense of humor to the mature dating scene. There is no need to write in great length with regards to retirement, grand kids or even past relationships.

I trust you have found this short article helpful and furthermore we would highly suggest to you see this brand new book regarding senior people meet at Amazon to find out more, I’m certain you will find it great!

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The validity of senior dating sites has always been an issue of debate. The reasons are also valid. With marked difference between the young dating and seniors dating, websites built on the same guidelines and patterns of the young often fail in their purpose.  But with better understating of the needs and wants of the seniors, many Australia based senior dating sites are now offering what the seniors are really looking for.         

Compatibility and tuning are two major pillars on which the entire relationship of seniors takes shape. Due to the fact that you have crossed a certain age, seen it all and lived it all, all you now need is a companion to support you, share your responsibilities and make you feel loved. This is what is the essence found in the new sites for senior dating in Australia. Free, reliable and exhaustive, these over 40 dating sites are here to assist you in your search.

With profile members from all over Australia, the biggest pool of single seniors or seniors wishing for long term commitments are waiting to connect. Forget the worries and the tensions. Let go of the loneliness. It is time to live life again. Become a member today of these popular sites and get loads of people to interact and know; because the right one for you is waiting there.

Hello, my name is Katgarr. I’m a ten-year-old boy from New Bark Town and because our society values Pokémon over education, I’ve never had to go to school, ever. There aren’t even any schools in this region. Or anywhere. We’re not very smart. Stretching and leaving the comforts of bed, I walked over to my laptop to check my email. Yes, I’m ten years old and I have my own laptop, a TV, and a Wii. My mom isn’t very responsible, but hey, I ain’t complaining. Now, back to my email. Hey, I got a new email! I hope it isn’t another ad for senior dating: I hate spam mail. Hmm, it’s from my friend Lyra. Let’s see what she sent me… “Adventure! Excited! I love Pokémon!” … Thanks for the breaking news, Lyra.

Fascinating

I descended downstairs and was greeted by my mom, who informed me that Lyra was out playing with her Marill. What?! She has a Pokémon and I don’t? What is this crap? Then she informed me that Professor Elm wanted to see me. Aww yeah, I know what that means. I’m gonna get my first Pokémon, and it’ll be much cooler than a wimpy Marill! I rushed quickly out of the house and off to the lab… or rather I shambled as slow as possible towards the front door. Why the hell can’t I run?

I shuffled slowly outside, and as soon as I stepped onto the porch a blue blur slammed straight into my chest. I let out a small groan of surprise as I stumbled backwards. Looking down, I saw Lyra’s Marill staring up at me. Lyra immediately came barreling over, the blue little puffball rushing over to her. I called out a greeting, but that little hoebag just grabbed Marill and ran off. Why am I friends with her again? Forget her, I’ll just go to the lab.

As I walked towards the lab, I saw something odd: a red-headed boy staring into the side window. Curious, I walked over and asked him what he was doing. He turned to me and mumbled, “… What are you staring at?” before bumping me out of the way. I was prepared to smash his stupid face in, but it wasn’t worth it… not yet, anyway. I’ll get my Pokémon, then I’ll use it to exact revenge. So into the lab I went.

This jerk right here

The first person I saw once I stepped inside was a lab assistant. I went to inquire about the location of the professor, but he stopped me and informed me that he wasn’t the professor. Yeah, I got that. Don’t just assume I’m as stupid as you. I look towards the back of the lab and see the professor tinkering with some machines. I walk over and go to introduce myself. He’s ecstatic to see me, and I’ll admit it’s a bit creepy how happy this older man is to see me. Let’s just suppress those feelings for now. As we were talking, he was interrupted by an email. It turns out that his friend Mr. Pokémon has found something and needs the professor to go see it. Being the lazy git that he is, Elm decides that I should go do his work for him. I think about warning him of the creepy kid staring at us through the window as we speak, but now I’m annoyed, so forget you, Elm.

Me: (thinking) What a lazy bum. Forget you, Elm.

Elm: Now before you go, you should pick a Pokémon to take with you.

Me: All is forgiven!

The three starter Pokémon are released and I take a good look at each one. I immediately dismiss Chikorita because that’s a stupid Pokémon. I find that Totodile is a very lively one, and that could be a good asset to have, but there’s something about Cyndaquil… he stares up at me with a gentle gaze, but in his eyes I can see the fire of battle raging inside. That’s the Pokémon I want on my team. Professor Elm tries to interest me in Chikorita, but no dice. I take Cyndaquil’s pokéball and Elm reminds me to go show my mother. As I walk out of the lab, I hear the professor mutter to Chikorita, “I’m never gonna get rid of you.”

No one likes you, Chikorita. You can’t even get stolen. Go back in your pokéball where you belong.

I go back to my house and show off Cyndaquil to my mom. He shyly looks around the room while she gushes over how cute he is. Of course. “At least you didn’t pick Chikorita,” she told me, “or I would’ve disowned you.”

Mom: So have you given a name to your Cyndaquil?

Me: Yes; I named him Inferno.

Mom: That’s a better name than Greenslash.

Me: What does that mean?

Mom: Ohh, nothing.

[Next time: Innocence is Relative (pt. 2)!]

A grand surprise for you is that senior dating is not a thing of criticism now, at least in the eyes of medical science. Medical innovation has helped elderly people to increase their life span. Cosmetic surgery is a bonus on this, which can rectify prominent aging signs from your face and body! Thus, today seniors are very dynamic and more energetic to build up a new love relationship.

Those raised eyebrows do not count at all these days as there are more and more options for dating at 50s that are emerging every day. The picture has completely changed from the time when elderly people entered into the love relationship or got engaged into a dating affair only to earn dejection from the society. Internet innovation has given a new face to senior dating, and you can trust this new friend to take over 50s dating to the next level! You will be amazed to see the plethora of cyber world sites that are solely dedicated for senior dating and matured relationships!

Over 50s dating is no longer considered as a perverted sexual appetite. It is now acknowledged that sometimes a good company has more to offer for a matured person than sheer conjugal pleasures. Today’s technological innovation has made the desire of seeking companionship post 50 a fulfilling experience. All that is required is your aptitude to treat age as a mere digit and your enthusiasm to participate in that romantic journey.

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Whether you are on your virgin voyage – writing your very first online dating profile – or re-writing it for the tenth time, avoid TMI (too much information.)

  Leave something up to the reader’s imagination.

Coy and cute is far superior to a barrage of cold, hard facts linked together like a shopping list. Okay, so you are proud of your car, career, cats, kids, kayaking prowess, philately or church choir debut. Merely listing these attributes or accomplishments is dull times three.

And, yes, it’s great your kid just graduated from an Ivy League school – however, all that bragging about your offspring (a la Pimp My Kid) might just as well be mentioned later. Every day, there is a new parade of hopeful romantics who sign up for Match, JDate, and Perfect Match and Plenty of Fish – your goal: grab attention, quietly.

Don’t try this at home

Remember: quirky isn’t cute; it’s been done and it’s a bore. The 2001 photograph of you dressed as a French maid or peeking over feather duster may garner the wrong kind of attention. And, writing your profile – from your dog’s point of view – may have been funny for a sixth-grade assignment, but not at this juncture.

Bragging about your myriad accomplishments – medals, trophies, and clubs? Slow down and wait on that. Finally, thinking about blasting or attacking your evil Ex?  Fuggedaboutit. No one wants to hear about your divorce – or your colonoscopy. Seriously.

It’s all about you.

Take the time to look at what other people your age are writing. Review the profiles of people your own age.  Check out the competition. Some dating profiles will inspire, others will bore, and some may spark your attention. It’s called ‘comparative shopping,’ and it works.

So, bravo for you – and have fun as you navigate the waters of the dating pool.

“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” — Mae West

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com. Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column — click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.

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Full story here:

Love Sue’s comment: “So if you do meet a man you fancy and trust and he invites you to share his bed, take a leap of faith.”

Here at iFancy Senior dating we’re seeing a massive growth in the number of senior singles looking for a date joining our sites. We put it down to more and more singles becoming aware of the internet for online dating and the fact that it really is that easy!

Meet John, 59 from County Antrim. Never married because he didn’t stay in one place long enough, John has spent time living in Canada, Africa and London, and has recently returned to life in Belfast. John enjoys short city breaks, the gym, swimming, reading, writing, golf and believes in honesty and tolerance.

If you think you could be John’s perfect companion, why not send him a message and get talking. You never know where it could lead.

If you’re not yet a member but would like to send John a message, why not sign up to TheSeniorDatingAgency.com today.

What’s more, if you like The Senior Dating Agency Facebook page, you’ll automatically be entered into our draw to win yourself 1 months free membership. We’ll be announcing our winner on Valentine’s Day!

So come on, don’t be shy – visit our Facebook page and give us the big thumbs up!

Thanks,

The Senior Dating Agency

As Sitting Bull said, after the Battle of the Little Bighorn, “There are two sides to every story.” 

And, because I would heartily agree, I hereby present a rebuttal from Movie Man. Movie Man, aka Mike, is actually a Good Guy and he has become a good friend of Susan’s, in spite of their first date.  When Susan told him I was writing a series about her dating life, he asked her if he was in it.  She said not, because she hadn’t read the post. Subsequently, Mike did and sent her the following email:

My Dear Laz – I am mentioned (albeit with a bit of poetic license).  I knew you couldn’t resist telling all your friends.  I knew I would be thought of and remembered as just one of a long list of “comical adventures in your life”.   If someone was writing my book they would say “always looking to make more productive use of his time by multitasking and always thinking outside of the box….Michael took the bold step of doing much-needed shopping in the middle of viewing a sub par movie.  Being as considerate as possible, he left without disturbing his date’s enjoyment of the movie and yet returned before the end to continue his fabulous date of dinner and a movie and returned his date home safe and sound.  What a guy.”

Susan, of course, sent his email to me and I, as the respectful human being I am of people’s most private correspondence, asked if I could post it. Susan asked Mike and he replied:

Have you no shame?   You have taken what I consider one of our most intimate moments together and tried to make a mockery of it. It took just 9 minutes to reach Renee’s ears.  I am an advocate for truth and justice so of course I have no objection to the FULL story being told.  She can use my first name .  I’m proud,  just no last name and no social security number.

So there you have it, dear Readers. I regret that there is no photo of Mike and Susan together, nor his last name and social security number.  I tried.  Susan drew the line.  I am relentless in both my journalistic integrity and my prurient interest. And that really does end the current series of posts.  Rest assured, there will be more in the future, as Susan finds yet more creative ways to push the dating envelope beyond all reason.

In the meantime, you will all have a much-needed rest from my written spewings.  I’m off to Anna Maria Island, Florida for a week.  Anna Maria is a magical (and not well-known)  oasis located 10 miles north of Sarasota.  It’s old time Florida: NO chain stores, chain restaurants, high rises, malls.  I’ll be cavorting with my two co-authors, Jean Peelen and Joyce Kramer.  We have two book signing scheduled while I am there:

January 24 1-3 Ginny and Jane E’s on the Island

January 25 1-4 Circle Books on St Armand’s Circle in Sarasota

If any of you are within striking distance, I would love to meet you.  If not, I’ll resume posting when I get back. And, if any of you run into Susan during the week, tell her not to behave while I’m gone. I need material for future posts.

I’ve had a lot of fun writing about Susan this week.  Many of you, consisting of one person, asked if Susan was real.  I have actually asked her that same question on several occasions, and she has always considered thoughtfully and then told me to shut up. Susan and I have been friends since 1998.  She’s an interesting person. Not many people have been tossed out of a country and told not to come back, immortalized in the Woodstock movie, and survived a fire in such a way that a producer wanted to make a movie about her. And those are just the items I can discuss in public.

Together, Susan and I have wreaked havoc at a sweat lodge (causing a Cree elder to have a heart attack,) run a speed dating company, been audited, and generally gotten into more trouble than two women over the age of 50 thought could be humanly possible. In future posts, I’ll write about some of our antics, but for now, I’ll wrap up this series on her dating life with an episode I had forgotten to include:

When Susan agreed to my rules about coffee only and a 60 minute maximum time frame, she decided it would be a good idea to knock out (well, not literally) as many men as possible on a daily basis, and thus began setting up two coffee dates per weekend day, one per hour. The venue was a local bagel bakery in a crowded suburb of DC.

On one especially lucrative day, Susan managed to schedule three men, back-to-back. She set up a 10:00 a.m. date, went in, got a cup of coffee, sat innocently at the table in a bright Chartreuse shirt (easily identifiable so that no man would ever mistake another woman for her), and waited for her date. Enter Date #1. He found her, they chatted. After approximately 50 minutes, she walked him out the door, said good-bye in the parking lot and then headed back into the bagel place.

She then touched up her lipstick, rid herself of the cup of coffee, and checked to make sure her mascara was still in place. I’m not sure why Susan felt that the act of drinking coffee would damage her mascara, unless the coffee were so hot as to make her make up evaporate, in which case, it would also have been suitable material for a lawsuit.

She then purchased another cup of coffee and waited for her next victim date. Date #2 entered, and he and Susan went through the same scenario. In 45-50 minutes, Date #2 was out the door. For her third date, Susan re-entered the bagel bakery, and she was handed her third cup of coffee. As she walked away from the counter to pay for it, she overheard one of the cashiers whisper to another cashier “Ah, here comes the Bagel Hooker again.”

(Susan, looking for trouble in Vietnam)

*****

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When Susan arranges her first meetings with men, she has to make sure she meets the right person.  This is because she has, on at least one occasion, had an entire conversation with the wrong person in a public place.  His wife, when she arrived, was not amused.

Susan’s way of making sure that this situation would never occur again was to ask the next man she was to meet to wear something distinctive so that she would recognize him. He did. When she entered the restaurant, he was wearing a pair of antlers. He wore them throughout the meal. As this was not during hunting season, and, as the restaurant was not located in Disney World, Susan was a bit embarrassed. (Reader note: Susan did not ask him to remove the antlers, nor did she use the “I’m going to the ladies room” ploy to leave.) Antler Man spent most of the evening assuring Susan that although he was “way over the hill,” his parts were all in working order. (I will not make an obvious joke, here). After dinner, Susan didn’t want him to walk her to her car, so she told him she had shopping to do, at which point he decided to accompany her to the local bookstore. Once in the store, he proceeded to pop out of the aisles to surprise her, antlers still intact.

This experience taught Susan that asking for something “distinctive,” might not be a good idea, at least in a public place. So, for her next encounter, she and her date agreed to each wear paper bags over their heads. He came to her condo complex and stood outside her garage. She entered the garage through the building, opened the door, and, at the count of three, each of them ceremoniously lifted the bags over their head. The fact that Susan wanted him to immediately put his bag back on was a minor issue. The major issue was why Susan would have suggested paper bags and why he would have agreed.

To be fair to Susan, some of her dates wore interesting items even when she didn’t require them. One of them wore bedroom slippers to a fairly nice restaurant, telling her he liked to be comfortable. I guess she should have been happy that he didn’t wear his pajamas.

On the other hand, some men presented a problem by what they didn’t wear. We will not discuss that at this time.  Photos will be sent on request.

Most of the above scenarios occurred in restaurants. But Susan has also arranged to meet men on park benches, and in bookstores, bars, parks, public bathrooms, and outpatient surgery waiting rooms. We will explore some of these in Part 4.

Welcome to a five-part series of reposts, a veritable cornucopia of past drivel, a best of, a past hits, a test of quantum physics.  If all reality isn’t reality at all, and if everything is happening at the same time with no past, present, or future, then not only isn’t this a repost, the events portrayed are still happening as you read these words. Somewhere. In some quantum physics-created universe. But that’s not my problem. I’m just too busy this week to write a bunch of new posts.

*****

My friend Susan has had such a long, varied and rocky career as a dating single, that I, as one of her closest and dearest friends, listen to her tragic stories, and I, as the caring, compassionate person I am, laugh myself sick.

It’s tough not to.  Susan seems to attract a lot of really interesting and unique men.  So many, in fact, that I’ve decided to divide this saga of her dating life into five parts.  We’ll start with the initial responses she gets from various men on the dating sites.  Note to any men out there who might recognize themselves in any of this: I’m not talking about you.

Some of the “handles” should not be read on an empty stomach:

pistolhead

riding cowboy

katlicker

dixiekraut

pistolpete

swabjock

Now for the actual words:

“I haven’t been with a woman in eight years.”

If someone wrote that to me, I would immediately consult an attorney to find out which criminal offenses would have resulted in an eight year prison term.

“Do ya judge the book by the appearance of the cover, or do ya open the cover to find out if the table of contents captures and peaks your interest enough to read more?”

Actually, I like to scan the index first, then check out the footnotes.  Sometimes, I read the jacket, but other times I flip right to the author’s biography at the end….

This one is from “Looking For Busty”: “I am an older, independent, very safe, straight man in good shape and I like very much the younger woman who is busty, local and in very good shape for extra-curricular activities.”

Hey LFB, there are about 10,000 other guys waiting in line for Busty, also.  It got so bad, she had to go into the Witness protection Program.

“I am looking for one woman, not two or more…”

I’m wondering about a person who has to clarify this.  Has he had negative experiences with trying to find a soul mate, and instead was tricked into having group sex?

“I am a very outgoing person and I always see the glass as half full.  I’ve been told that I have a very humorist personality.”

Ah, I know about this.  It is also called the “Will Rogers Syndrome.”

“I’d like to volunteer this: I look and act a lot younger than I actually am.”

I’d like to volunteer this: 95% of people over the age of 45 would probably write exactly the same thing about themselves.  The other 5% would use capital letters when they wrote the words “a lot.”

A recent poem Susan received had these lines hidden among all the others that professed undying love: “When someone is willing to do without, So your life is complete”

This would stop me in my tracks.  This guy was either Bernie Madoff writing from his North Carolina jail cell or a man looking for someone to donate a kidney.

“Hang out and talk .and size each outher up?????????we could find out about the real thoughts and dreams of the outher person,wishs in life…also being a free sprite and with out family or baggage, i can travel or relocate for the right reasons of course ??…Either Way Welcome Onbroad The “Fish” U Will enjoy and meet some really Great People ???”

I charge this person with Greatest Abuse of Question Marks.

Susan was really excited when I told her I would write columns about her attempts at internet dating.

“You can be my blind author!” she exclaimed.

“I think you meant ‘ghost writer,’” I clarified.

Oh boy, are we going to have fun with this one.

As long as a person is within one and one half hours from me it should be zero problem to date him but it seems that men my age who are willing to talk on the phone are unwilling to get into their vehicle and drive an hour once a week to take me out. By the way, not to toot my own horn, but honestly … I am worth the drive!

I will turn 67 in a couple of weeks. I say this to make a point. That point is that I am well aware as we get up in years we tend to limit our driving to the daylight hours. I do. I do because I think others on the road might get a little upset at me. I mean, last time I ventured out after dark I nearly missed my turn because I could not see where the darn street was! I now wink at my grandson and tell him how big and brave he is to drive me after dark. I think he agrees . . . especially after his last trip after dark with Nana at the wheel. But, not all seniors suffer as I do. And even if they do, so what! Lots of day light hours in the day to take a nice lady to lunch so what’s the problem?

I think I may be up against it here thinking that it would be nice to have a special friend to go do things with. I love baseball and Dayton has a wonderful minor league team. I love to visit the farmers markets too and the area around Dayton has plenty to go to. I love to go to garage sales and last time I noticed they end (usually) by four or so in the afternoon. So, maybe – just maybe – the night driving for a feller living an hour away is not the issue. Maybe it is simply he is to lazy to make the effort. Maybe he just wants things easy easy easy and if dating takes to much effort on his part he is not willing. What ever the reason I am getting nowhere with this dating thing and I’m about to give it up completely!

Why bother with anyone who is unwilling to bother with a little drive.