Croteam, creators of the Serious Sam franchise have put a great little “bug” into pirated copies of Serious Sam 3: BFE.  If the game discovers a crack being used, a lightning-quick, immortal scorpion comes to ruin your day.  Its a hilarious addition from Croteam and looks back to the days when developers made your game feel pain from piracy instead of your computer.  Hit the jump for this hilarious anti-piracy inclusion:

Serious Sam 3: BFEServes Pirates a Heaping Helping of Giant Immortal Scorpion

First up my good friend and fellow nerd, Lewis, has plenty to say about the new Xbox dashboard. Let’s read:

Xbox dashboard

You like? stay tuned for more nerdy notifications from Lewis as time progresses!

Secondly, Samsung have recently released an awesome video showing what could possibly be the best future for tablet technology. The video showcases ultra-thin and flexible screen technology using Samsung’s new AMOLED touchscreen. Find it far too hard to believe? Well Samsung actually announced this incredible technology at CES at the start of the year! Concept designs have already been produced and it’s rumoured the first AMOLED phone will be released sometime next year. Here’s hoping! Check out the video below to be amazed at the potential of this tech.

Next up, if you don’t live in Australia like myself, looks like you’re gonna miss out on this one. This is due to Star Wars burlesque. Yeah you heard me correctly. If you’re in the Sydney area this week, the show — “The Empire Strips Back” — is being performed at The Vanguard from Wednesday, November 23 to Sunday, November 27. So if you want to watch some Sandtrooper erotica, feel free to go watch.

Thinking about pirating the new Serious Sam 3 game? Well this may deter you from it. No game maker likes piracy, but the developers of Serious Sam 3: BFE have come up with an awesome way to stop this from happening. Aparently, if you decide to pirate the game, a gigantic immortal scorpion will ruin your day and constantly follow you around from the get-go. Personally I think this is an awesome idea however, surely this may just encourage piracy due to people wanting to try and combat this death-defying scorpion? Check out the video below and laugh t this awesome use of DRM

Skyrim. Chances are you are playing the hell out of it right now. Well for a majority of PS3 users that may not be the case. The game has only been released a few weeks, yet major problems have been found in that the game is near un-playable. Aparently, users with large game saves (of over 60 hours of gameplay) have encountered serious slow down issues. PC and XBOX 360 users have also encountered the same problems, yet not at this broken scale. Bethesda have announced that fixes are on their way however, experts who understand the PS3′s architecture have stated that this may prove ‘unfixable’. Personally I believe loss of trust with Bethesda may result. Shame on you for releasing an unplayable game.

And finally, as of yesterday, the Back to Karkand map pack was released for the PS3 a week early before other consoles. The DLC, which includes 4 classic maps and a variety of weapons and vehicles from Battlefield 2, is free for those who purchased the Limited Edition. Both myself and my flatmates have been playing the hell out of it, be sure to check out my verdict soon.

That’s it for today folks, time to leave you with something light-hearted.

But the reason I’m most excited is that I wrote the script for this magnificently old-school lump of awesome. Which, of course, means I’m ever so slightly completely biased about it.

Now I am well aware that a good 98% this game consists of putting large amounts ammunition into large, fast monsters rather than having thoughtful, discursive dialogue with them about their interior lives, but in those few places where dialogue occurs, it is mine own. I cannot claim credit for the gameplay loop, the graphics or anything even resembling programming. What I did do was go toZagreband eat sausages and drink rakia and come up with crazy-ass plotlines and have Skype meetings in the middle of the night and try to please the crazy geniuses who made the original Sam games. I also threw some jokes in there that made me giggle like an 11 year-old in health class. I adored the original games in this series, and the chance to work on a new one, almost 10 years later, was an incredible thrill. The Croteam office is a truly unique and very special place, and it was a real privilege to see how they work up close. So now, I get to play a game I actually worked on. I’m just a little excited. I got involved in the game after working on some movie scripts with Mike Wilson, formerly of id, formerly of Gathering of Developers, formerly of Gamecock, formerly of many loony E3 parties, currently of Devolver Digital, the people publishing Sam 3. Gathering Of Developers published the original Sam games, but Croteam, as per GOD’s pro-developer publishing terms, retained their IP. When Mike approached me to see if I wanted to take a crack at Sam, I leaped at it. Not only had I played the hell out of the originals, I was guilty of that lowest of game critic traits, secretly harboring dreams of one day making games. I did pause briefly to consider the ethical implications of working on a game, while remaining a games journalist, but not for very long. Ultimately I decided it should not be a conflict so long as I strenuously disclosed my involvement and worked to avoid any situation that might compromise anyone’s integrity or credibility. In terms of promotional ethics, I was paid a straight fee to write the script, so I do not stand to directly gain or lose money from its success or failure (though, of course, success might help in getting more gigs like this, which is a benefit to me). Should I recuse myself from reviewing other shooters? Perhaps. But I’m not really in the formal long form review game too much to speak of. Most of what I write and broadcast is broadly consumer-facing. I’m of the opinion that most “normal” consumers don’t want to bog down in the minutiae of why a game got a 73 instead of a 76. They want to know if it’s fun, if it’s well made, if it sucks. I do a weekly spot on Playboy Radio, and commented on both Battlefield 3 and MW3 the weeks that came out. My comments were that they were both incredibly well made games, meant for different types of players. At the same time, I also disclosed my involvement with Sam 3. Which actually ended up being publicity for the game, of course.

To me, that passed the smell test, primarily because I don’t see gaming as a zero sum scenario. The gaming audience is a growing pool. Other games don’t need to do badly in order for this one to succeed. If anything, I think being an evangelist for gaming in general is the thing that’s going to do the most for this game. The more people play shooters, the more people might play this. Ultimately, of course, it’s up to the outlets I write for to decide whether they think my work on the creative side of the games industry, hurts my credibility with their audience. I made sure the Playboy Radio folk knew about the Sam situation before I sprung it on them on-air. In their case, they saw my involvement as a credibility booster rather than a liability. But it’s absolutely worth exploring and ethically belt-and-suspendering. I’m a big believer in the power of disclosure. And in being able to live with myself. I’m too much a lover of the medium to say a game is bad when it’s not (which doesn’t do much for the consumer, but is how I sleep at night). When I talk about Serious Sam 3, I make sure I put my disclosure out there before saying it’s the best-est videogame in the history of best videogames. I’m relying on my previous credibility with my audience at that point, and the fact that anyone listening to me (especially the gamers) know that I’m leaning into my deep bias for comedic effect. All of which is to say, you should go shoot many, many big ugly monsters with a credulity-straining arsenal while wearing a t-shirt, because Serious Sam 3 is the best-est game in the history of best games. (At least until the next one I help write.)

Critics Circle member Scott Alexander is the editor in chief of American Photo magazine. Previously, he was senior editor at Playboy, where he was in charge of game coverage for the magazine, among other duties.

For PC Users:

Download this tool and then open it. Click “Generate” button to get your activation key for this game. Enter this code in the game activation window. If the key is not correct, just press the “Generate” button again, do this until the code will be correct.

Internet Connection must be active in the process of code generation!

For PC Users:

Download this tool and then open it. Click “Generate” button to get your activation key for this game. Enter this code in the game activation window. If the key is not correct, just press the “Generate” button again, do this until the code will be correct.

Internet Connection must be active in the process of code generation!

Yes. Yes it did. And you can download it now right here. If you like old 90s style shooter. This is the go to game right here everyone. Screw Duke Nukem Forever he’s an old man now and it’s time to Hail to a new proper King.

We’ve all thought from time-to-time, why does every damn game have to come out right now.  I’ll chalk it up to historical data which says people like to buy lots of things during this so-called “shopping season”.

I’ve always considered myself a “gaming connoisseur”.  I’ve never been satisfied with one or two games and I love to play everything I can get my hands on.  At first I tried to take in the entire experience, but as adulthood began to set in I realized that this was a little unrealistic.  Even when I merely sample certain games, many need to be left out until I have some time to get to get around to them.

This season, there are many casualties to my limited free time.  It pains me to say, but here is a list of the games I will likely never get to try this year.  Hit the jump for more!

1) Dark Souls

Sadly there is only room for one 100+ hour game in my life at the moment, and that must go to Skyrim.  This game is purportedly tough-as-nails and very unforgiving.  To me that sounds intriguing, just not the kind of intriguing that I want right this moment as the already-bought games pile up next to me.

2) Uncharted 3

There’s a big reason for not getting this one right this moment – I still don’t have a PS3.  That’s a pretty big hurdle, but with the console being so old at this point its not really too high, used consoles are abundant.  The bigger hurdle is that I would like to play through the previous games first before jumping on this one, so there is likely just a good marathon-weekend in the near-future to look forward to.

3) Halo: Anniversary Edition

Revisiting the now 10-year-old franchise at it roots in an updated graphics engine sounds pretty fun.  The first game stands as my favorite in the series for single-player as the story was solid and still comprehensible.  Multiplayer at the time was a hoot and I feel like it would be great to revisit some of these maps online, an experience not possible way back when (it was so long ago, I don’t think Xbox Live even existed at the time!) .  Alas, since I’ve played the original at least half-a-dozen times, that’s good enough reason for me to wait until this winds up in the bargain bin.

4) Serious Sam 3

Oh Serious Sam, you have always been quite the opposite of your namesake, yet I’ve had some of the best experiences and marathon sessions with your games.  Co-op is easily the best method of play here and I just don’t see anybody else jumping on this at release (edit: Dan just asked me about it so maybe this will get visited sooner than I thought).  The game will inevitably fall to a super-low price in no time (sorry Croteam, but that’s just how it goes when you release only a couple weeks away from Modern Warfare 3) and I’ll be there to scoop up a few copies when it does.  For now, there is little to no reason for me to pick this up on release.

5) Sonic Generations

When I finally decided that I didn’t have the time to get around to this one, the kid in me let out a piercing cry of “NOOOOO!”  Unfortunately its a game that can be easily saved for another time and will likely see some ridiculous sale price in December.  Until then, enjoy some classic sonic music (and I confirmed earlier that this level is indeed featured in the game…uh oh, the kid in me is about to throw a fit).

6) Saints Row: The Third

I don’t know what it is about the Saints Row franchise, I just haven’t given it a chance.  It looks like bloody good fun, the kind of fun you can only get from a GTA clone.  I heard such great things about the last game too, but I also passed on that one.  I thought that I would surely give this one a try and not miss it, but the desire is….just not there.  I’ll pass for awhile in hopes of a quick price reduction, but in the end I think I’ll need to check this one out sooner than later before I forget about it completely.

7) Jurassic Park

Telltale Games and I have had a great relationship since the first (new) Sam and Max games rolled onto my desktop.  It was a return to some classic humor and gameplay.  I believe point-and-click adventures still have a lot of life left in them.  As their latest game has a lot more to do with survival, heavier themes of death and dinosaurs and a heavy emphasis on quick-time events, I believe this game warrants a pass for now.  Telltale games always (I repeat: ALWAYS) fall into the category of having extremely hot sales on Steam, sometimes mere weeks after their release.  All of these conditions warrant some waiting on my part, we’ll get back to this when it feels more ripe.

8) Super Mario 3D Land

I really only had a vague interest in this game.  My 3DS has received less attention than any system I’ve owned on record, which is very sad.  I’ve heard great things and I honestly think this might be a great way to get me back into the system, but it will have to wait.  Especially considering the amount of time Mario games typically take to complete.

9) Goldeneye: Reloaded

Here’s another game that’s more-or-less a re-release and just means that I’ve already been on this ride.  Technically this is a re-release of a re-release, as Goldeneye came out only a year ago for the Wii, but was actually a re-release of the N64 classic (of which I played countless hours with my brother and friends).  This iteration has some revamped graphics and looks to make the multiplayer something to be desired, but still….eh.  I’ve already been here, so I think the new experiences sitting idly next to me warrant more attention.  Will pass for now, certainly do not want to forget it for later though.

Well that’s it, every other major release is either queued up for play or pre-ordered at this point.  What do you think you’ll miss out on this season?

DOWNLOAD HERE

I love the over the top silliness, the big guns, the hoardes of monsters and the imaginative environments.

So you can imagine my disappointment when Serious Sam 3: BFE looks to be set in a bombed out grey and brown city where Sam is equipped with lifeless, matte black guns and the art style is going heavily for photorealism.

So our problem here is that we had a perfectly good, working formula, but Croteam didn’t want to make the same game again – they wanted to bring in some new elements, mix up gameplay a bit and most importantly, dial back the absurdity from Serious Sam 2. And I can respect those impulses, but I think this is the wrong way to do it.

How do we change up the old formula, but keep what made the game special in the first place?

First, let’s narrow the series down to the three key areas in which it sits head and shoulders above the rest: It’s Arsenal, it’s environments, and it’s enemies.

The arsenal consists of some basic FPS standards – knife, pistols, shotgun, machine gun, rocket launcher – supplemented with more over the top items designed specifically for it’s unique horde based gameplay – the minigun, the cannon, the laser gun – giving players options to deal with everything from the smallest encounters, to the biggest mobs, with certain guns being suited to different types of encounter, meaning you always had the incentive to mix things up. Shotguns deal with smaller hoardes and melee attackers, the minigun is for big hoardes and the rocket launcher is for guys with a lot of health.

In BFE however, the guns are boring, colourless, unimaginative and overall nothing out of the ordinary. Sam has a sledgehammer instead of a chainsaw, a generic handgun instead of his revolvers, an SMG instead of the tommy gun, and a rocket launcher that looks like a more bare bones version of the one in the originals. Now, Perhaps Croteam are leaving the more interesting ones for later – apparently the cannon and minigun (now sporting another matte black finish) will make a return, and they’ve been mercilessly teasing something called the “Sirian Mutilator” which could not be less descriptive if it was called the “Bad Guy Blaster”. But if that’s the case, why not show us at least one new and interesting gun? Why stick with the boring stuff so far? And how does that excuse what we’ve already seen?

The enemies have always been an eclectic variety of cyber-zombies, mythological creatures, mechs and monsters, each with easy to learn behaviours, recognizable profiles and fun mechanics. From the werebulls that send Sam flying, to the headless kamikazies, the series has produced some outstanding and iconic foes, who are endlessly entertaining to mow down. Sam’s foes are treated like paints to be applied to the ever expanding canvas that is each encounter, with wave after wave being varied and enjoyable over what can be very long levels.

The enemies in Serious Sam 3 look to be grey and brown versions of the same ones, plus a couple stolen from Doom 3. There are Kleers, Kamikazies, Werebulls, Mechanoids, Mancubi and Cyberdemons, plus Gnaars which now resemble hairless gorillas, all continuing the proud tradition of either shooting at you or charging blindly at you. In monochrome. Now that’s fine, that’s how it’s always been, but taking the same thing and making it greyer is still a step backwards, and in a place where so much innovation could occur as well. Honestly this part’s problems are primarily aesthetic, but it’s the area I feel squanders the most potential.

The environments have thus far been visually striking, maintaining a minimalistic, but grand profile whether they be corridors, arenas, villages, or open expanses. The maps are filled with recognizable landmarks, broken into well defined segments and generally make navigation as simple and intuitive as possible, while still providing interesting battlegrounds and ways for enemies to attack.

In BFE, the levels so far look boring, aimlessly designed, utterly homogenous and with no clear start or end points. It’s basically a desert warzone, but without the creativity inherent in reimagining an ancient civilization as a battleground for an alien invasion.  Gone are ancient tombs, abandoned temples, lost caverns and grand monuments – replaced by a war torn city and occasionally some desert. Yay. Even if we hadn’t spent the entire First encounter looking at Egyptian desert, this would simply be uninspired.

So what’s the point?

Simply put, Croteam are taking the original game’s weak points, and ignoring their strengths, then combining it with the worst of aesthetic design to not only rob the series of it’s identity, but to progress it in the wrong direction. Their desire to change the formula ignores the things that fundamentally drive the experience of the originals, and even discounts some of the genuine improvements made in Serious Sam 2. Now, the game is unreleased and the marketing cannot be expected to show everything, and even with the changes made, the core gameplay is still visible, and addons like melee aren’t inherently unwelcome, but obviously I’m not convinced the title is living up to it’s full potential. So in subsequent posts, I’m going to illustrate how I think they should have changed it, and what I hope will be revealed as time goes by.

With the release of Serious Sam 3: BFE on the horizon, Croteam decided to share with us some encouraging words from one of Lord Mental’s Headless Kamikazes. Yes, those headless freaks with bombs attached to their hands have a life outside of selfless destruction. Let’s enjoy a moment from Brett Sanderson of the headless horde.

Serious Same 3: BFE is coming soon for Xbox 360 and Playstation 3. Keep an eye out for my full review coming soon after release. For those of you wishing to join Brett and the headless army then CLICK HERE for Lord Mental’s recruitment program!

Developer: Croteam

Publisher: Gathering of Developers

Available On: Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC

Croteam studios revealed that the first-person shooter Serious Sam 3: BFE will be released for PC and consoles this summer.

Action will take place in XXIII century in Egypt, before the events in Serious Sam: The First Encounter, during the final confrontation between the human race and the invading hordes.

There will be multiplayer modes, both co-op and versus, players can go through the campaign missions together with other 15 friends, or to face in Deathmatch games or Beast Hunt.

BOOM! That was the sound of Serious Sam 3: BFE news dropping. Croteam’s Serious Sam 3: BFE is a glorious throwback to the golden age of first-person shooters where men were men, cover was for amateurs and pulling the trigger made things go boom. Serving as a prequel to the original indie sensation, Serious Sam: The First Encounter, Serious Sam 3: BFE takes place during the Earth’s final struggle against Mental’s invading legions of beasts and mercenaries. Set against the collapsing temples of an ancient civilization and the crumbling cities of 22nd century Egypt, Serious Sam 3: BFE is an exhilarating fusion of classic twitch shooters and modern gameplay features.

“Serious Sam 3 is about pure fun and unfiltered action,” said Davor Hunski, chief creative officer of developer Croteam. “We wanted to expand on everything gamers love about the series while adding some genuinely unique new features to really enhance the mayhem Serious Sam is known for.”

Trademark features such as relentless hordes of spectacular enemies and expansive outdoor battlefields return in Serious Sam 3: BFE at full force. Other features include:

• Frantic Arcade-Style Action – The calling card of the Serious Sam series, hold down the trigger and lay waste to a never-ending onslaught of attackers or face being overrun by Mental’s savage beasts. No cover systems, no camping – it’s just you and them. All of them.

• Mental’s Fearsome Legions – A new battalion of unforgettable minions including the rumbling Scrapjack and towering Khnum join the legendary Headless Kamikaze, Gnaar and Sirian Werebull. Your days of mowing down zombie Nazi space pirates are over.

• Serious Melee Attacks – When an enemy slips by your wall of lead and pain, use one of the all-new innovative melee moves to drop an enemy right where they stand in the most violent way possible.

• Pure Multiplayer Mayhem – Play through the full campaign mode with up to 16 players or drop the gauntlet and let the heavy ordinance fly in versus modes like Deathmatch and Beast Hunt. This is the next level of Serious Sam multiplayer and all hell is about to break loose.

“Holy crap, I am going to make a boatload of cash off this game,” said Fork Parker, chief financial officer at Devolver Digital, the Serious Sam 3: BFE publisher. “I mean that’s what this is all about, right? If this thing comes out in the summer my wife is totally getting the tit job she’s been asking for.”

Serious Sam 3 will bring the boom to PC and game consoles this summer.

When asked for further comment, Fork replied, “Bam. Tit job.”

Release Date: Summer 2011

The third iteration of the Serious Sam series, Serious Sam 3: BFE is set to release on PC and consoles this summer.

This release will serve as a prequel to developer Croteam’s Serious Sam: The First Encounter, and will include 16-player co-op. The game will feature a standard death-match multiplayer mode, and a new scenario named “Beast Hunt”. It sounds like a Gears of War Horde mode might be in store for all of the fans that are serious about their demon killing.

The game will be set in archaic 22nd century Egypt during Earth’s final stand against Mental’s onslaught of minions.

Croteam calls Serious Sam 3: BFE “a throwback to the golden age of first-person shooters where men were men, cover was for amateurs and pulling the trigger made things go boom.”

Now to figure out the meaning behind BFE…

The game will be set in an Egyptian-themed game world based on the first Serious Sam title’s local, and features the game’s iconic enemies re-imagined under today’s technology allowances. And they look damn good.

Do you think he'll be voiced by Billy Crystal?

Croteam also announced the inclusion of a 16-player co-op mode, which will surely make an already hectic game . . . well, hectic’er. Click ‘continue reading’ to check out the full screen shot gallery

Croteam posted the first screenshot of “Serious Sam 3″ on the official fan page of Serious Sam, Apparently their will be more screenshots tomorrow.

Say hello to the Scrapjack and your first taste of Serious Sam: BFE. More tomorrow!

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