Farewell, My Love

One final sonnet to say farewell, Love.
Final chamber of my heart closing late
against a past of failure and mayhem.
So good the days of sunshine with you, so
sad the clouded day. I loved you not well
always, yet not always badly. I loved
you with all I was for those fair times I
did, and yet love was not enough. We loved
as though we invented the concept, we

loved as though no vengeful god could tear us
apart; we loved as though love was our final
defense against life’s cruelties. And yet
it came about that our own surpassed what
life might throw our way. So, farewell my Love.

29 December 2009
David M Pitchford

Men have to work extremely hard at achieving and maintaining a high level of health. There’s blood pressure, cholesterol, prostate and colorectal factors to consider. For some, it’s time to correct unhealthy eating, drinking and smoking habits. And then there’s the poor guy who has to search the living room closet for that old, dusty bathroom scale.

That’s a lot for a guy to concentrate on. Another key component of a healthy lifestyle is perhaps not meant to be discussed at the family dinner table:  Sexual health. According to a board certified urologist and director of the Los Angeles Boston Medical Group, Dr. Barry Buffman, there are definite psychological and marital benefits to a healthy sexual relationship. In an interview with Men and Health: It’s a Guy thing, Buffman says, “There’s a very good correlation in outcomes if you look at success in the bedroom with success at the board room and success on the field.”

It’s not just psychological health, such as self-esteem, that can benefit from a healthy sexual relationship. Buffman, who has experienced over 20 years of private surgical practice, specializing in sexual dysfunction, oncology, laser and trauma, says it has been well documented that men will have healthier prostate glands and hearts with a good sex life. Other benefits include a better brain function and sleep pattern. To be blunt, Buffman notes, “It’s been cited numerously, in even the lay literature over the last 15 years, that a man will not live a normal life expectancy without frequent sexual expression.”

Buffman has seen patients in several age groups, from 18 and younger (with parental permission) to one man at the ripe old age of 104. “At any age group, whether it’s young or old, specifically starting with the younger population, their greatest fear is ‘am I the only person you’ve seen in this age group, am I very strange, am I very weird?’” Buffman says men 45 and older, a large segment of the population, some in their second and third marriages, are concerned about social, psychological and physical issues. He says men can be concerned about whether sex can be detrimental to their health.

On the other side of the coin, men who aren’t lucky enough to have a healthy sexual life can experience unpleasant side effects. Buffman says when a man doesn’t have sexual confidence and function, it makes a big dent in his social assertiveness. “It all comes down to the confidence level. The effects on that are clear. The emotional, mental and psychological effects are abundantly seen with regard to anxiety disorders, severe depression and being withdrawn from social interaction.” Physically, sex has been shown to be a stress reducer. And, according to Buffman, literature suggests frequent ejaculation may lead to a lower incidence of prostate cancer.

When it comes to sexual issues, men need to take the initiative. Buffman says men need to realize there is a problem and seek the right consultative services. Buffman says he doesn’t believe the average practitioner, in the average medical practice, has the luxury to gather information about a patient’s social and psychological history. “Most of the time, the patient has to take the can opener and take the lid off the physician’s head.”

Los Angeles Boston Medical Group: http://losangeles.bostonmedicalgroup.com/

Songs of Aurora: Second

We all want to be beautiful . . . echoes
from the argent moon. Dancing dawn
in her sheer indigo cloak, pirouettes.
“You swim in my eyes,” she purrs her usual
greeting, “but my soul is a pool unfathomable.
So now I ponder you as you ponder Dawn.”

Day’s first fire crowns her in flaming glory,
azure gems formed of sky peer from eyes too
seeking to speak of innocence, though purity
never could be questioned. Her ruby lips, her
alabaster skin, smelling of hyacinth, rose, and
hinting, strangely, patchouli—she reclines
upon the dew-jeweled lawn of waking dream
and gazes through me as though to question
my history, my self, my deepest presence,
and the immitigable void of my soul. Shamed
and shallow, the poet closes again his bloodshot
eyes in hopes of forgetting . . . Those piercing
pools of azure topaz burn through to wake . . .
He slips from self-conscious to third-person.

Why do you fear? Her voice is too much of him
to deny. He swims deep within her query,
kicking and stroking as though he might drown;
This is of your own device, she whispers. Wake
your heart and write your lines. Pen poems
full of blood and flesh. Quiet your mayhem mind
and find yourself within the heart. Thought
and reason go too easily astray; trust your heart,
your spirit feeds there . . . My spirit feeds there.

“Do you reflect to me myself?” he asks
the morning, waking again to thought. He
sinks into himself, stirs his soul, gapes into
his own inner being. Sees his spirit.
Starved fawn, emaciated, gazes up to him,
skin nearly translucent. “What do you mean to
symbolize?” asks the poet. “Your soul,” bleats
the starving fawn. “You are pathetic.” His eyes
shadow with the deep turbulence of repressed
compassion. “What have I done?” His words feed
remorse, remorse feeds his fawn-soul, strength
returns somewhat. “Why did you desert me?”
“Reason is a jealous master,” he replies.
“Aurora sings to me; why refuse her?”

We all want to be beautiful, echoes
through his day, chases his fawn self to work
and back home. One perfect rose catches his eye
as though Aurora had sung it from its bud
in Morning’s first light. He holds the ruby
shard to his lips and kisses the faraway sky.

David M Pitchford

Justifiable Homicide

I killed that son-of-a-bitch for you, because
he hurt you, used you, lied to you—and o!
lies he told . . . sure in his self-deception
of their truth—told you, loveless and slander-
ous of us, of love, of my true heart, your gift.
Told you love was not, but love always—
in all ways—true and here and of a lifetime
between you and me—precious love he stole
because he was fearful drunk, had no grip . . .
on life—he blundered into unmanageable . . .

Sweet Love, so it was I had to kill him,
for your sake and for mine. Because I love
you lifelong, and learning myself this truth,
I am not that man anymore, Sweet Love.

 David M Pitchford

As you can imagine the last year has been very hard on a lot of people.

It was hard on me that is for sure, after finishing up with my job (like a lot of people) I started crashing in to depression. It is so true that we need something to get up for in the morning, the key though is to realise is that work is only one of the things that we should look at motivating ourselves. I focussed on 15 goals at the start of the year, and I read the list of them every day, I had to I taped it to the wall beside my bed. I knew that If I even read it most days, at the very least my brain would subconsciously work on the targets. I reached about half of them, but they were the main ones I wanted, including a new job. The rest are works in progress, but at the very least the list of goals gave me something to aim for, even if for months at a time I watched day time tv religiously, at least I knew there was something I could do, even if I wasn’t motivated to do it. After a while it builds up and you have to start re-focusing.

Things will get better, it will take time, list out a few reasonable goals that you want to aim for, keep focussed on them , even if it takes a long time to follow up on them. I came out of my dark hole, you can too.  I had a bit of lexapro help – I regret not going on them sooner, I knew I was awful low, no energy, no motivation. I guessed that it was depression brought on by job loss, but I couldn’t bring myself to go to a doc. about it. Turns out it was a very easy thing to do. At the very least talk to someone about it, even if it a complete stranger, once you talk about it, it becomes so much more manageable.

What Words Return

Could I take back every word, I would not:
oh, but what wondrous comfort we might find
in more recent words recanted, but mind
you selective extraction we cannot
accomplish. Could I but, I would plot
the demise of all hurts those words might bind
to you—what a fool, I, to strike out blind,
stupid though not dumb, damned rebellious sot . . .
 
Could I exchange each cruel word one rose,
a garden of gloried blooms to blush fair
Babylon I’d build. But my voice falls still,
longing for a song fair enough that grows
from a heart so grossly kept unkempt. Dare
I utter more; or fear that speaking’s ill?

David M Pitchford
8 December 2009

A process called transcranial magnetic stimulation is rising in popularity to help where other treatments have failed. Some patients of magnetic therapy say that the treatment has been a God-send. One day it was like a light switch went off, explains Steve Newman, 60, that underwent clinical trials for the severe depression.

Over the next few centuries, magnetic therapy built-up into a form of quackery. A Connecticut physician and sometime mule trader, advocated the waste of metallic tractors for the rehabilitation of various diseases of humans and horses.2 The user of the tractors swept the tractors ended the injured area for a few minutes to magnetize off the noxious electrical fluid that lay at the foot of suffering. They reported the testimonials and Perkins became very born with a silver spoon in your orifice. The Sears catalogue advertised magnetic boot inserts.
The biological effects of pulsating electromagnetic fields are hypothesized to be due to electrical rather than magnetic forces. Magnetism generates a voltage in tissue according to the equation.
Any effects of a static magnetic field against tissue cannot be electrical geographically.

How to Get Magnetic Therapy Information to Find the Suitable Treatment for You is filed under magnetic therapy.

Letting It All Fall Away

It’s a matter of living day by day:
embracing the now, dumping this baggage
salvaged from seasons past, exile’s luggage,
heavy loads—letting it all fall away
for the sake of living life day to day,
stowaway on Life’s ferry—no passage
but the willingness . . . no need for courage
or remorse. Letting it all fall away.

Encumbrance of the past weighs too heavy,
an anchor tied with a foil-gilded chain
to memory, fault, failures, guilts that go on,
and unrealized potential heavy
as lead and precious as gold—and as pain—
Let it all fall away now; life goes on.

David M Pitchford
24 November 2009

Broken Man

Fresh out of the bottle, pickled, dismal,
the broken man sits in his life’s ashes;
dressed in sackcloth, he mumbles his prayers
to the quilted sky. What is it he wants?
Rather a poet or a prophet, but
truth asserts itself that he is but a
madman in a world peopled by madmen—
and he is forced to accept his humble
place within this fallen world. Broken, he
meditates on acceptance, willing now
to take another path, though hesitant
to leave the precious past behind, open
for change, but longing to go back . . . homeless,
he must find a home, begin life anew.

David M Pitchford
24 November 2009

When the Echoes Die

For months I clung to that hope: “No such thing
as too late . . .” Its echo the gravity
holding me close to that old orbit. Now
its echoes die away if not into
impossibility, then into slim
probability. Lost outside her light,
I listen for hints of hope, search shadows
within shadows without knowing not what
these distances hold outside love’s orbit.
“No such thing as too late . . .” echoes far
off, trailing into the past—such thing as
too late . . . these echoes die . . . and now spinning
into outer darkness, swallowed by these
shadows of my own making, I hear, “. . . too late . . .”

Daivd M Pitchford
18 November 2009

I don’t really know what to say. I have posts I want to write about specific topics, but I don’t know where to start. Head is a bit fried really and I’m just so unbelievably exhausted.

My social worker came yesterday. I had forgotten she was coming and had a bit of a panic when my phone alarm went off. To put it bluntly, she really is full of shit. She spouted all this stuff about positive thoughts and recreating brain pathways and activating synapses, when she clearly had no idea what she was talking about. She was basically waving the CBT stick at me, but tried to dress it all up in technical language and scientific explanations. I am fed up of her suggesting that all my problems will be fixed if I just apply some CBT, think positively and buck my ideas up. I have done a lot of CBT in the past, most of which is common sense. I’ve been applying CBT methods myself most of my life, long before I even knew what CBT was. How do you think I managed to cope with the depression of my childhood, teens and university years? Things have got worse and these methods just aren’t enough any more. CBT doesn’t work for everyone. There is limited evidence to suggest that CBT works with Bipolar Disorder and severe depression (and apparently that’s what it is) anyway, but still they persist. Maybe if I just try that little bit harder it will? Maybe it’s my fault it doesn’t?

Yesterday, I also managed to cut my wrist. This was an accident involving some wire netting and our fish tank. It’s a clean cut, about two inches long, right across the top of my wrist. The blood poured and I felt this massive urge to make more. I’ve not self harmed at all for a couple of months,  but it was a clear trigger. I’ve never really cut. A couple of times perhaps, but it’s not my chosen method of self harm.

When I was last self harming I don’t think I wrote about it, not wanting to alert my partner to the fact. There was a hammer lying around the house, not put back in the garage after some DIY. I was routinely hitting myself with it, all over my body. Sometimes it would bruise, but these could easily be blamed on the dog. She’s bruised me herself enough times. Other times it hurt like hell, yet didn’t leave a mark.

I can’t remember why I started again. I just felt the need one day in the summer, saw the hammer and that was it. Actually I don’t know if the hammer or the need came first. Maybe I was triggered by it then.

This seemed to help for a while. It released some frustration. Things carried on for a couple of months, but then it stopped as quickly as it started. Again I don’t know why. Soon after, we tidied the garage and the hammer went back.

Now I am struggling with the urge again. I want to hurt myself. I don’t know why. I don’t even think it would help. I just want to do it. I have resisted so far and I will keep resisting but the thought is niggling away. I wonder if I will ever get away from the temptation to hurt. I seem to stop and start without rhyme nor reason.

by Dr.Vorobiev’s Rehab Clinic

What is Depression?
According to World Health Organization (WHO) estimates, by 2020, depression will become the second-leading cause of disability and death throughout the entire world.  About one million people commit suicide annually, and people suffering from depression make up between 45 and 60% of suicides.  This figure is becoming comparable to infectious and cardiovascular diseases.

A person with depression has a 35 times greater chance to end his life through suicide than do those not suffering from depression.  50% of those with endogenous depression and 20% of those with psychogenic depression attempt suicide.  One out of every six commits suicide.  According to research conducted in the USA, people susceptible to depression are two times more likely to die from other illnesses.

Depression often develops among family members of a patient already suffering from depression.  Approximately 20% of relatives of depressed people suffer from depression, while relatives of healthy people become sick in 7% of cases.

Please Click Here To Read More.

It’s been a strange week really. I seem to have spent the week being confronted with the fact I’m still a lot more ill than I thought I was.

On Wednesday I had an appointment with Dr B. He’s another GP at my local practice and as Dr N is on holiday for two weeks I had to make do with him. He’s okay, but a little brisk. Every time I’ve seen him he’s made me do a PHQ9 form to assess my levels of depression. It’s similar to a BDI I guess, but with fewer questions and less detail. My score was in the twenties (out of 27), putting me in the severely depressed category. I knew I was still depressed but I’d kinda expected it to have moved into the moderately severe category by now. I do feel better than I did back in February. The depression is less absolute, but I can’t deny that I still think of death and suicide every day, I’m still not sleeping and I still feel pretty tired and down.

For curiosity’s sake I did a BDI as well. I ended up doing it twice as I find it so difficult to decide between answers. My pessimistic score (choosing the worse option if I couldn’t decide) was well over 50. My optimistic score (choosing the better option) was about 45. 30+ is classed as severe depression so it’s a pretty similar result to the PHQ9. It’s a vast improvement on the 60+ (out of 63!) I was scoring in February. I racked up one of the highest scores ever seen at The Priory back then, which is pretty scary really. The improvement is not enough though. How can this be recovery if I’m still in the severely ill category?

I don’t know if I am really severely depressed though, even if my scores say I am. I have been depressed for so much of my life I’m not sure if my results are skewed. I expect even when I’m what I’d describe as well, I’d still be scoring a mild depression score at least.

I was talking about this with a medic friend last night. We were talking about the GPs in the village and I mentioned I’d seen Dr B. She asked me what he was like and I basically said he was okay, but he asks me to do the PHQ9 whenever I see him. She said that GPs are obliged to demonstrate they are giving “adequate monitoring” to depression patients and the PHQ9 counts towards this. It’s interesting as I don’t remember ever doing one with Dr N. I guess he prefers to give adequate monitoring with actually asking me how I am, rather than getting me to select ticky boxes.

I mentioned my scores and how I wasn’t sure how accurate they were. She suggested that sometimes the scores can be a little skewed by insight and they often don’t reflect how well someone is functioning, which seems fair enough I guess. She said I’m clearly functioning a lot better than my scores suggest, which I think is true, but I guess that comes with years of practice in hiding things. I function in autopilot, hiding the thoughts, but the thoughts are still there.

To add further doubts to my idea of recovery I got a letter from the ESA decision maker yesterday. They are finally processing my application under the youth rules and the decision maker has sent the sheet explaining how much I will receive. Looking at it, I’m being paid the amount pertaining to the Support Group. I presume this means they have my medical result and not only have I passed, but I am deemed too unwell to even contemplate work and thus have been placed in the Support Group. This is a big surprise. I had worried so much that I wouldn’t even pass the medical, let alone be placed in the Support Group. I haven’t received the letter confirming my medical result yet, so I wouldn’t be surprised if this is wrong, but it shouldn’t be. I will be interested to see what score I actually received. Another set of points telling me how ill I am.

I don’t know how I feel about being in the Support Group though. In a way it is positive. It means I don’t need to do the pointless Pathways to Work interviews and I also get a little more money, which of course is good. It means there is no pressure to try and get back to work before I am ready. I will not be bullied by the DWP to do so.

At the same time though I can’t help but feel disappointed. I feel like I’ve been written off. I am too ill and disabled to even consider working. That’s something I can’t handle and really don’t want to admit. I want to get back to work and I want that to be something achievable in the near future. It makes me feel like this is all pointless. I want to be recovering and this makes me wonder if I really am. I had felt I was making progress, but that progress is clearly not enough. This is all just fuelling the “fuck it, this isn’t worth it” thoughts. I don’t want this.

I’m a little worried too and I almost feel guilty. I wonder whether this is the right decision. I kinda feel like I have cheated the system because I didn’t expect to pass the medical. I know how notorious these medicals are. I know that hardly anyone passes, let alone gets placed in the Support Group. I wonder why I have got through when so many others haven’t? Am I really that bad? I know I can be in denial and I guess in a way these doubts show that, but I am still unsure. It just feels a little wrong.

I wonder if this process is designed to make you feel guilty? There is such a stigma against incapacity benefits, that you feel awful to be claiming them, yet if you are entitled to, it would be stupid not to. There is so much attention paid to people that cheat the system that genuine claimants worry they will be tarred with the same brush. I had no intention of cheating the system and I didn’t do anything to do so. If anything I down played how bad things were. There was no exaggeration, yet I feel like I have cheated. Surely this is wrong? Surely I should just be glad that the right decision has been made? Yet the doctors at Atos have such a bad reputation I even question a positive decision.

Madness Abating

These past few hours, peaceful
how long since I’ve been at peace
tumults of my own making
plagued me more days than I recall

Now, I’m learning again
to believe in miracles
watching one hour at a time
sober and accepting

as life unfolds with new meaning
and though old ghosts may haunt
I walk paths of serenity
heart open to the wide world
mind open to solutions
spirit open to hope and miracle.

28 October 2009
David M Pitchford

Swimming Through Stone

“The drowned cannot swim” and yet drowning comes

harder than once thought. That whiskey river

flowed deep and fast—twenty years swimming drunk

through three marriages and more affairs than

any man should curse himself with, and you

were my rock, my respite buoy and lifeline—

I tried to drown to protect you from me,

but courage failed. Living that way—dead end—

thinking you’re drowned only to find yourself

swimming through stone, heart and mind in the grave

while your stubborn soul clings to earthly life . . .

longing for death, sinking in denial

and swimming against granite grain, we strain

toward life, striving to sober up and live. 

19 October 2009
David M Pitchford

Grounded

I still feel your gravity
          and I want to be
                    grounded to the world that is YOU

David M Pitchford
12 October 2009

Like any living organism in our body need light to grow and develop. The light has beneficial effects on our energy, our morale.

Lack of light can cause fatigue, insomnia, neurasthenia, and even severe depression.
Proof: Do you feel any better in summer than in winter? Have you any more fish when the sun is the appointment?
Studies have also shown that SAD was a reality. One in five people suffers.

To combat this recurring phenomenon, the ideal is to try to store the maximum amount of light during the “bad season”. To do this, get the least sunlight and do not let go!
But it is also necessary that the sun is not totally absent! The ideal solution would be an annual migration to the Southern Hemisphere (genus Caribbean, Mauritius, Seychelles -) but alas it is not within reach of every budget. In addition, excessive exposure to too intense rays of the sun can be extremely dangerous.

Another, less expensive has been developed by researchers: light therapy.
This is to expose you, safely, close to a special lamp simulating natural light during a given time (usually half an hour a day) to recharge your energy. This exhibition can be performed in a specialized institution or at home (with lamps). Soon after two weeks, frequent users feel the benefits: optimism, good humor, energy is back to visit. Signs of depression inevitably disappear.

But for the technique of light therapy is more effective, do not expect that SAD is installed, it must take the lead. A course in the fall is highly recommended. Of course, as with any therapy, it is imperative that you take advice from your physician.
As light therapy is a recent technique, scientists have not yet listed all these benefits. Already other uses have been found to alleviate some particular cases of dementia in the elderly.

Whichever method you choose, become “accumulators” of light (and not very harmful UV rays) and you’ll feel better.

Like any living organism in our body need light to grow and develop. The light has beneficial effects on our energy, our morale.

Lack of light can cause fatigue, insomnia, neurasthenia, and even severe depression.
Proof: Do you feel any better in summer than in winter? Have you any more fish when the sun is the appointment?
Studies have also shown that SAD was a reality. One in five people suffers.

To combat this recurring phenomenon, the ideal is to try to store the maximum amount of light during the “bad season”. To do this, get the least sunlight and do not let go!
But it is also necessary that the sun is not totally absent! The ideal solution would be an annual migration to the Southern Hemisphere (genus Caribbean, Mauritius, Seychelles -) but alas it is not within reach of every budget. In addition, excessive exposure to too intense rays of the sun can be extremely dangerous.

Another, less expensive has been developed by researchers: light therapy.
This is to expose you, safely, close to a special lamp simulating natural light during a given time (usually half an hour a day) to recharge your energy. This exhibition can be performed in a specialized institution or at home (with lamps). Soon after two weeks, frequent users feel the benefits: optimism, good humor, energy is back to visit. Signs of depression inevitably disappear.

But for the technique of light therapy is more effective, do not expect that SAD is installed, it must take the lead. A course in the fall is highly recommended. Of course, as with any therapy, it is imperative that you take advice from your physician.
As light therapy is a recent technique, scientists have not yet listed all these benefits. Already other uses have been found to alleviate some particular cases of dementia in the elderly.

Whichever method you choose, become “accumulators” of light (and not very harmful UV rays) and you’ll feel better.

Depression is the Grinch, Josef Mengele, and the Death Star all rolled into one big lump of manure.  Individuals who do not suffer the affliction known as severe depression have no frame of reference from which to identify with the condition.  Every one of us has, at one time or another, experienced “the blues” or “feeling down”.  We may even characterize our mood as “depressed”.  Eventually we rise from the muck of our self pity.  We pull ourselves out of the blackness and resume our lives.  Perhaps we fail to rise above the condition and yet we continue to function throughout this prolonged depression.  Severe Depression, as a clinical condition, makes these instances seem like a mere thunderstorm passing through an otherwise pleasant picnic.  Severe Depression robs the individual of their motivation, their dignity and their self-image. 

Severe Depression is a chemical imbalance that, one would think, could be rectified by the application of the correct chemical to restore the balance (read: drug).  Every remedy has its own peculiar side effect, however.  Some “cures” cause migraine headaches, others promote sleeplessness, others narcolepsy, and still others create a devil-may-care approach to life.  Priorities begin to shift, timelines become hazy, deadlines meaningless.  Even personal hygiene begins to suffer.  The home of a severely depressed individual can mirror the disorganization of the affected individual’s mind.  The house is unmaintained, cluttered as it is with projects in various stages of long forgotten completion.  Dishes are stacked in the sink, with leftovers emanating a rotting stink which serves as bait for fruit flies and other scavenging insects.  Laundry, which used to be stored in closets and dressers, is now strewn about the house and it becomes more efficient to purchase new socks and underwear rather than to go on an extended quest for the missing items.  Perhaps most frightening is the change in perception.  This may be casued by medication or by the condition itself, but the victim simply perceives reality differently than an unaffected indicidual.  A severly depressed individual may not see the joys in life, may miss seeing their children mature, may be ignorant of the impact of their conditon on their lives and the lives of their family.  The most important items to the severely depressed are the recliner (or the sofa), the remote, and the television.  The television is critical, because it provides the escape that the individual so desperately needs from the morass of his or her own mind.  Television shows have a flow, an order, a storyline and provide the opportunity to immerse oneself in someone else’s troubles for a brief period.  Even depressing episodes serve their purpose, for the depressed individual does not identify with the message of the piece.  Rather, the piece itself allows the depressed person to say to themselves, “man, is that guy messed up!”  Nothing matters to the victims of this condition.  Chores can always be done later.  Bills can be paid later.  If the water gets turned off, well, they will turn it back on when the individual pays.  If the depressed person is single, one can conclude that the only person affected is the individual, who will likely soon be homeless.  If that person is married, then one realizes quickly that the entire family is affected by the condition.  This is really the focus of this piece, the impact of depression on the undepressed.  Call it collateral damage if you like.

Severe depression is insidious.  In the same way that Adolf Hitler did not start World War II immediately following his election, none of the examples cited above occur immediately.  There is frequently a traumatic trigger that precipitates the condition as well, so loved ones typically support the individual and (unwittingly) encourage the behavior that will be frowned upon at a later date.  Loved ones will tell the victim to “take a nap”, or “go out and buy yourself something”, or “take a break”.  All of these are perfectly understandable and rational supportive responses to an individual in crisis.  There is, however, an opportunity cost that goes along with this as the condition progresses. 

Tempus Fugit, time flies, and it stops for no one.  Time stands still, or has no meaning, for the victim of depression. Time flies for everyone else.  Family members pick up the “slack” left by the nonparticipating member.  Children begin to respond to the moody parent, if the victim plays such a role.  The victim may change work habits that result in the loss of one job, then another, then another.  Even as the victim struggles to gain control – and fails- he or she becomes more depressed with each successive failure.  The will to live may not disappear, but the will to have a life is crushed. 

 A spouse begins by being understanding and supportive.  He or she picks up the “slack” left behind, and tells the spouse to relax because they can handle this.  After a period of time, the spouse’s role changes to that of “firefighter” because the victim has become an unwitting emotional, physical, and economic arsonist.  With the loss of the job, as with the loss of any relationship, the lost job becomes the “black hat”.  The spouse will cover for the victim saying “well, you have not been happy in that job for quite some time.  You needed a change.”  As the victim’s friends begin to disappear, the spouse will adopt the same posture, “they were not really true friends anyway.”  The spouse is concerned however and may even open a line of communication with his or her in-laws because he or she feels the need to keep them apprised of their kin.  Perhaps a family member is even called in on occasion because the spouse needs help managing the household that is, in fact, his or hers to run at this point.  The depression may not even be diagnosed at this point depending on the circumstances.  Once it has become diagnosed, the spouse has that “Eureka” moment.  Now, at least, he or she knows the problem and may even have a path to recovery.

The road to recovery is not easy.  Psychiatrists and neurologists become involved.  Drugs change as a matter of routine.  Moods can swing wildly.  But in all of this, one thing is abundantly clear.  It’s the old joke about how may psychiatrists it takes to change a light bulb.  Just one, but the light bulb REALLY has to want to change.  Invitations are issued for outings and are rejected.  Lunch, dinner, vacation trips are put on the back burner.  What was once a supportive spouse now has become part drill sergeant, part supporter, part firefighter, and full-time worrier.  Now we are in the full fledged depressive state.  The spouse believes that a meaasure of responsibility for the victim is a necessary component to recover, but the vicitm fails in that regard.  The drill sergeant approach creates nothing but resentment on both sides.  Rather than being supportive, arguments become the rule rather than the exception.  The victim resents the attitude, the spouse because he or she has no desire to take this approach.  Eventually, the spouse reaches the point where he or she is emotionally spent; every ounce of energy (emotional, physical, and anything else you can think of) has been invested into the spouse with no apparent effect.  The spouse feels that he or she is already a single parent and a caretaker as well.  The damage to the relationship is irreparable.  The saddest part of the story is that neither spouse is at fault.  Neither spouse saw this coming.  Neither spouse deserved this end.  God help the children, if there are any.

Severe depression is evil and insidious.  Much like movies that we’ve seen about posession, it crushes the affected person’s soul.  The individual becomes what he or she is not.  Uncaring, lethargic, lazy, apathetic attitudes exist where none existed before.  Paranoia may become evident.  The condition can affect anyone regardless of race, age, or gender.  There is no sudden onset of the condition.  This is troubling, because those who care about the victim indulge the darkness and allow it to gain hold when they have no intention of causing such damage.  This affliction robs us of our family members, our husbands/wives, fathers/mothers, daughters/sons, sisters/brothers.  This affliction drives a wedge into relationships that only widens with time.  Perhaps the gap can close with even more time.  This affliction takes the life of the victim and the lives of those who love them.

You know someone in this condition.  At a minimum, you know someone who knows someone in this condition.  Affected family members hide the condition well.  First they deny its existence, then they “cover” for it.  Have you a friend whose home you have never seen?  Does someone you know seem to be emotionally “overcompensating”?  Do you know someone who has recently had a traumatic experience?  Please reach out to these people.  All it takes is a kind word and a determination to NOT, under any circumstances, let the person crawl into a dark hole from which they will not return.  Be polite, but be persistent.  Get other friends to do the same.  Whatever you do, you must not ignore or sweep aside these possible symptoms.  Even if one tries as hard as one can and gives all that he or she has to offer the effort may still be in vain, particularly if the discovery is made too late.  If ever there was practical evidence of the phrase “all that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing, ” this is it.

Runs-with-sticks and the Broken Man

Sunlight glints off burnished copper curls
she runs with sticks
Mother laughing, secure in her safety
Grandma scolds, “you could put an eye out!”
And I, a broken man
watch in silent delight laden
with a thousand speculations:
how can a broken man
be trusted to love your mother?
 
All summer I’ve watched, adoring
though too tightly wound within myself
—within my own head—
to do much but watch
and flinch when your voice
pierces my ears with pain
while my heart leaps with joy
seeing you joyful
running with sticks
jumping barefoot onto rocks
scraping a knee and leaping back up
to run over rocks again
finding new and bigger sticks
collecting the smooth stones
and cicada shells, though they
bring shivers to your beautiful mother
 
But now summer is gone
and too late, your mother having moved on
to be with another,
I realize that a broken man’s love
is no less safe than running with sticks
the greater danger is falling—
now, fallen and broken more,
I know that the loving was
inevitable; the falling was not,
but born of fear and tripping
on tethers from the past
terrors of future failure imagined
now become self-fulfilled prophecy.
 
Like you, runs-with-sticks,
I’m jumping up, brushing off the dust
and running into the sun.

David M Pitchford
28 September 2009

The French are the biggest consumers of antidepressants and tranquilizers in the world. A 4-French would use regularly. Nearly 200 million boxes are prescribed each year.

I would firstly like to clarify that I am aware that there is a difference between antidepressants and tranquilizers. But these two psychotropic essentially the same objective: fight against the malaise. The former are intended to eliminate sadness, mood disorders, depression and the latter deal more anxiety. They are also sometimes prescribed together, tranquilizers being at the very beginning of the depression.

Should we fear the very high consumption of psychotropic drugs? Is it exaggerated or is this a sign of a deeper malaise in society?

This questioning does not seem trivial since a study Anglo-American-Canadian in February 2008, seems to demonstrate that antidepressants would have no greater effect than placebo, except for the most severe depressions.
It follows therefore from this study that most individuals who consume antidepressants and tranquilizers in France do nothing. Indeed, not all are suffering from severe depression.
That is precisely the problem.
It seems that in recent years, people are rushed on antidepressants and tranquilizers at the slightest pretext. A little anxiety, two bad nights of sleep, a small decline in morale and hop, antidepressants or tranquilizers!
For them, it is the ideal solution, I would rather say the easy way. Who knows not surround yourself with loved ones or acquaintances as antidepressants or tranquilizers? Personally, I already know at least 4.

Beware, I’m not saying that we must remove the psychotropic. They definitely effective on people with severe depression, which could not cope without.
But why prescribe every turn, for a mere passenger discomfort? Should we not look for alternatives more natural?
Before jumping on antidepressants and tranquilizers, people should not they be taken in hand, seeking the causes of their discomfort, their anxiety and find the best solutions and the least “risky”?
Indeed, antidepressants and psychotropic drugs are not candy, they have side effects, such as addiction (which happens very quickly), the consequent weight gain (more than 20 kg in three months for some), irritability, etc..

Nowadays, it seems that people are fleeing increasing their responsibilities and do prefer the ostrich rather than trying to solve their problems. They say I’ll take an antidepressant and I see life in pink, I am disconnected from the realities of life – But during that time, the source of their discomfort, their anxiety remains and risk of s ‘worsen if nothing is done to solve them.
To make life more beautiful, we must learn to face problems. We must face them head on. This is not always easy but it’s the best way I know to get by. This is not hiding in psychotropic problems disappear like that, a magic wand!
We must also learn to put things into perspective. Some mountains are not much. They consider themselves the most unfortunate of the world, less fortunate, they always want more, they spend their time doing their “Calimero”. They can not be satisfied with what they have. A force, they do not appreciate life as it is. They live simply and not languish in a corner when there are lots of beautiful things around them.

They have forgotten that life was beautiful and it was worth to be lived fully, it should not look absolutely Greater Happiness (full of money, bigger house, the nicer car, etc.. ) but thoroughly enjoy every little moment of happiness that life offers us (the scent of a rose, the smile of a child, the gesture of affection of a spouse, a good meal, a walk on the beach, etc. .). This may sound naive to some but believe in my experience, since I think like that, my life is more beautiful. When you learn to appreciate those little moments you live fully and you will find that, oddly, is only from there that greater happiness will come.

Moreover, simple solutions and “natural” exist to reduce the discomfort without having to take psychotropic drugs. I know what I mean, I myself have experienced difficult times in my life but I never wanted to resort to antidepressants and tranquilizers. I worked a lot on me and I finally found solutions that allowed me to get out.

Before you rush on psychotropic take you in hand and see what you can do by yourself. For most of you, they will not be necessary.
For others, suffering from deep depression, do not hesitate to consult a doctor, you prescribe psychotropic drugs that work best for you, so that their effects are not more negative than positive.
Reservations necessary antidepressants and tranquilizers to those who really need it!

If you also want to fight your malaise of “natural”, you will find more information here: http://url-ok.com/872aa4

The French are the biggest consumers of antidepressants and tranquilizers in the world. A 4-French would use regularly. Nearly 200 million boxes are prescribed each year.

I would firstly like to clarify that I am aware that there is a difference between antidepressants and tranquilizers. But these two psychotropic essentially the same objective: fight against the malaise. The former are intended to eliminate sadness, mood disorders, depression and the latter deal more anxiety. They are also sometimes prescribed together, tranquilizers being at the very beginning of the depression.

Should we fear the very high consumption of psychotropic drugs? Is it exaggerated or is this a sign of a deeper malaise in society?

This questioning does not seem trivial since a study Anglo-American-Canadian in February 2008, seems to demonstrate that antidepressants would have no greater effect than placebo, except for the most severe depressions.
It follows therefore from this study that most individuals who consume antidepressants and tranquilizers in France do nothing. Indeed, not all are suffering from severe depression.
That is precisely the problem.
It seems that in recent years, people are rushed on antidepressants and tranquilizers at the slightest pretext. A little anxiety, two bad nights of sleep, a small decline in morale and hop, antidepressants or tranquilizers!
For them, it is the ideal solution, I would rather say the easy way. Who knows not surround yourself with loved ones or acquaintances as antidepressants or tranquilizers? Personally, I already know at least 4.

Beware, I’m not saying that we must remove the psychotropic. They definitely effective on people with severe depression, which could not cope without.
But why prescribe every turn, for a mere passenger discomfort? Should we not look for alternatives more natural?
Before jumping on antidepressants and tranquilizers, people should not they be taken in hand, seeking the causes of their discomfort, their anxiety and find the best solutions and the least “risky”?
Indeed, antidepressants and psychotropic drugs are not candy, they have side effects, such as addiction (which happens very quickly), the consequent weight gain (more than 20 kg in three months for some), irritability, etc..

Nowadays, it seems that people are fleeing increasing their responsibilities and do prefer the ostrich rather than trying to solve their problems. They say I’ll take an antidepressant and I see life in pink, I am disconnected from the realities of life – But during that time, the source of their discomfort, their anxiety remains and risk of s ‘worsen if nothing is done to solve them.
To make life more beautiful, we must learn to face problems. We must face them head on. This is not always easy but it’s the best way I know to get by. This is not hiding in psychotropic problems disappear like that, a magic wand!
We must also learn to put things into perspective. Some mountains are not much. They consider themselves the most unfortunate of the world, less fortunate, they always want more, they spend their time doing their “Calimero”. They can not be satisfied with what they have. A force, they do not appreciate life as it is. They live simply and not languish in a corner when there are lots of beautiful things around them.

They have forgotten that life was beautiful and it was worth to be lived fully, it should not look absolutely Greater Happiness (full of money, bigger house, the nicer car, etc.. ) but thoroughly enjoy every little moment of happiness that life offers us (the scent of a rose, the smile of a child, the gesture of affection of a spouse, a good meal, a walk on the beach, etc. .). This may sound naive to some but believe in my experience, since I think like that, my life is more beautiful. When you learn to appreciate those little moments you live fully and you will find that, oddly, is only from there that greater happiness will come.

Moreover, simple solutions and “natural” exist to reduce the discomfort without having to take psychotropic drugs. I know what I mean, I myself have experienced difficult times in my life but I never wanted to resort to antidepressants and tranquilizers. I worked a lot on me and I finally found solutions that allowed me to get out.

Before you rush on psychotropic take you in hand and see what you can do by yourself. For most of you, they will not be necessary.
For others, suffering from deep depression, do not hesitate to consult a doctor, you prescribe psychotropic drugs that work best for you, so that their effects are not more negative than positive.
Reservations necessary antidepressants and tranquilizers to those who really need it!

If you also want to fight your malaise of “natural”, you will find more information here: http://url-ok.com/872aa4

The French are the biggest consumers of antidepressants and tranquilizers in the world. A 4-French would use regularly. Nearly 200 million boxes are prescribed each year.

I would firstly like to clarify that I am aware that there is a difference between antidepressants and tranquilizers. But these two psychotropic essentially the same objective: fight against the malaise. The former are intended to eliminate sadness, mood disorders, depression and the latter deal more anxiety. They are also sometimes prescribed together, tranquilizers being at the very beginning of the depression.

Should we fear the very high consumption of psychotropic drugs? Is it exaggerated or is this a sign of a deeper malaise in society?

This questioning does not seem trivial since a study Anglo-American-Canadian in February 2008, seems to demonstrate that antidepressants would have no greater effect than placebo, except for the most severe depressions.
It follows therefore from this study that most individuals who consume antidepressants and tranquilizers in France do nothing. Indeed, not all are suffering from severe depression.
That is precisely the problem.
It seems that in recent years, people are rushed on antidepressants and tranquilizers at the slightest pretext. A little anxiety, two bad nights of sleep, a small decline in morale and hop, antidepressants or tranquilizers!
For them, it is the ideal solution, I would rather say the easy way. Who knows not surround yourself with loved ones or acquaintances as antidepressants or tranquilizers? Personally, I already know at least 4.

Beware, I’m not saying that we must remove the psychotropic. They definitely effective on people with severe depression, which could not cope without.
But why prescribe every turn, for a mere passenger discomfort? Should we not look for alternatives more natural?
Before jumping on antidepressants and tranquilizers, people should not they be taken in hand, seeking the causes of their discomfort, their anxiety and find the best solutions and the least “risky”?
Indeed, antidepressants and psychotropic drugs are not candy, they have side effects, such as addiction (which happens very quickly), the consequent weight gain (more than 20 kg in three months for some), irritability, etc..

Nowadays, it seems that people are fleeing increasing their responsibilities and do prefer the ostrich rather than trying to solve their problems. They say I’ll take an antidepressant and I see life in pink, I am disconnected from the realities of life – But during that time, the source of their discomfort, their anxiety remains and risk of s ‘worsen if nothing is done to solve them.
To make life more beautiful, we must learn to face problems. We must face them head on. This is not always easy but it’s the best way I know to get by. This is not hiding in psychotropic problems disappear like that, a magic wand!
We must also learn to put things into perspective. Some mountains are not much. They consider themselves the most unfortunate of the world, less fortunate, they always want more, they spend their time doing their “Calimero”. They can not be satisfied with what they have. A force, they do not appreciate life as it is. They live simply and not languish in a corner when there are lots of beautiful things around them.

They have forgotten that life was beautiful and it was worth to be lived fully, it should not look absolutely Greater Happiness (full of money, bigger house, the nicer car, etc.. ) but thoroughly enjoy every little moment of happiness that life offers us (the scent of a rose, the smile of a child, the gesture of affection of a spouse, a good meal, a walk on the beach, etc. .). This may sound naive to some but believe in my experience, since I think like that, my life is more beautiful. When you learn to appreciate those little moments you live fully and you will find that, oddly, is only from there that greater happiness will come.

Moreover, simple solutions and “natural” exist to reduce the discomfort without having to take psychotropic drugs. I know what I mean, I myself have experienced difficult times in my life but I never wanted to resort to antidepressants and tranquilizers. I worked a lot on me and I finally found solutions that allowed me to get out.

Before you rush on psychotropic take you in hand and see what you can do by yourself. For most of you, they will not be necessary.
For others, suffering from deep depression, do not hesitate to consult a doctor, you prescribe psychotropic drugs that work best for you, so that their effects are not more negative than positive.
Reservations necessary antidepressants and tranquilizers to those who really need it!

If you also want to fight your malaise of “natural”, you will find more information here: http://url-ok.com/872aa4