Interesting article posted on the Journal of Neurosurgery website.
Excerpt:

Object. Females comprise an increasing percentage of the athlete population across all age groups, and analysis of recent literature reveals that they sustain more concussions in collegiate sports. Results of human and animal studies indicate that females may have poorer outcomes after traumatic brain injury; however, no return-to-play guideline takes sex or other individual differences into account. In the present study the authors evaluated the influence of patient sex on objective neurocognitive performance and subjective reporting of symptoms following sports-related concussion.

Read the rest here:

1. Sex to her is giving of herself. To him, it’s taking—especially their first time together.  
2. She is the expert on relationships and bonding. He is the expert on sex and escaping.
3. Starting at puberty, boys are turned off by female nagging—unless she’s a sex target as yet unconquered. It’s natural and for life.
4. Women hunger for marriage. Men can easily do without.
5. A man’s confidence emanates from his self-image, his picture of who and what he is. A woman’s emanates from her self-esteem, how well she likes herself as a person, her self-love.
6. The masculine way is eat to enjoy life. The feminine way is eat to sustain life.
7. The sexual pleasures for a woman are far outweighed by the other things she needs for a happy life. Men for the most part let sex substitute for whatever else is missing.
8. Therapeutic recovery for a man lies within his work or doing something. A woman mostly relies on time for healing while unloading anguish to the sympathetic and empathetic ears of friends.

Having taught Dustin Hoffman to sound and move like a woman for his role in “Tootsie” and having helped many patients in the Transgender Community make the transition both from “ male to female” or “female to male” like( Chasity to Chaz) by teaching them either them either “male” or “female” body language, voice, and speech skills I was very impressed with how well Chaz Bono (formerly Chasity Bono and Cher’s daughter) is adapting to his new identity.

In watching Chaz Bono’s interview with Chris Cuomo on GMA, Chaz’s voice and body language had so many male characteristics , it was difficult to conceive that she ever lived life as a female, which she did up until 8 months ago. Not only was her vocal pitch as lot lower, she did a lot of things men do as opposed to women- she didn’t open her jaw as much when she spoke and used about two to three octaves in his tone as opposed to the four to five octaves females use. This means there was not as much vocal animation as a male. Body language wise, he took up more room with legs apart and his handshake, where he reached out to Chris was very “male” as opposed to female. His posture and outward hand movement made away from the body was “ male” as well.

There was one interesting body language “ tell” that one of my wonderful and astute readers also noticed and pointed out – Chaz’ shoulder shrugs. My reader asked me if Chaz was lying when he said he was happy because she noticed Chaz was shrugging his shoulders when he said that.

That was an excellent observation. Here is where “Context” is so important when reading body language. The shrug may also mean “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure” which was the case here. It didn’t mean that Chaz was lying about being happy. Instead, it meant that he is still going through the transition and there is more to come and he’s still a bit insecure. In fact on the next breath, he admitted that. He said he was getting there as it had only been eight months since he had his breast reduction surgery and began hormone treatment.

I should also add that there was a lot of lip licking during the interview which many would also misconstrued as a “tell” of deception. But it was not the case here. The lip licking her meant that Chaz’s mouth was dry from being nervous and uncomfortable in the situation he was in. He even admitted to Chris that it was difficult to get out there publically and discuss his transition- that it was uncomfortable. So the lip licking you were seeing was part of that discomfort Chaz was feeling. That is why I can’t stress enough that context is so important when reading body language.

THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE BORN ONE SEX WHO FEEL LIKE THE OPPOSITE SEX SINCE CHILDHOOD
Gender reassignment is a very difficult and misunderstood concept. May think that people who do this are simply crazy or freaks or they are acting out or doing it for attention. They believe that you are born one sex that is who you are and that is who you shall remain. Until I went to the University of Michigan where I got my Masters Degree in Speech and Speech Pathology I used to think that if you were born one sex that’s what you were- plain and simple. But I soon found out that was not the case.

As part of our clinical practice as graduate students, we had to see different types of patients with speech and voice concerns who came into the U of M Communication Disorder Clinic and write up an evaluation report. I was given a patient who was drop dead gorgeous. She was around my height 5’9 to 5’10, had a svelte figure, long dark hair and bright blue eyes. I examined her vocally. She sounded fine except her voice was on the low side. I thought she may have suffered from vocal nodules or vocal polyps- a growth on her vocal cords and wrote up a treatment plan to help cure her condition.

I turned it into my professor, Dr. H. Harlan Bloomer, who by the way was one of the founding fathers of my field. He read my report and said that it was thorough except for one thing- “she” was a “he. “What?” I said thinking I misheard him, he repeated what he said and went on to tell me that she had come to the U of Michigan for gender reassignment surgery. The look of utter shock on my face lead him to explain to me that there were people who, although they were one gender, deep inside believed they were another gender and that it was our job to help these people make that transition by helping them learn to speak like a member of the opposite sex.

Dr. Bloomer also shared with me something that was later confirmed to me by Dr. John Money at Johns Hopkins University, a leading pioneer in the area of Gender Research. If you take a child with Gender Dysphoria and ask them to walk across the room as John or Mary (whatever their sex was) and then ask them to walk back to you as the opposite sex- a girl or a boy, a child with gender dysphoria can easily do it. If a child doesn’t have these gender issues, they will resist and say “I’m not a boy” or” I’m not a girl.” So it’s something that we now know happens in the brain early on in life.

In fact, in his interview, Chaz remarked that he always felt like a boy since childhood and always gravitated to the boys, even joining their teams instead of the girls team.

HOW DO I MAKE A MAN SOUND LIKE A WOMAN?

Apparently back in the day, the University of Michigan is where many went to get transitioned from one sex to the other. These patients also came to the Speech Clinic to learn how to sound like a woman. So it was my job to make this woman who was really a man but looked like a woman, now sound like a woman.

But there was a huge problem. How do you do it? There were no books or research on the subject back in the day. So, I had to do my own research as a graduate student. I had to learn what to do by the seat of my pants. I studied what I did as a woman and how different it was from what guys I knew did. I began to take notes about my fellow male and female classmates and observe them.

Of course I knew the pitch of the voice was different, but what do you do to physically raise a person’s pitch so it doesn’t sound campy? I had to figure that out by trial and error. But body language wise there were also differences as I quickly observed. I saw how the guys sat differently- more causal. They took up more room. They walked differently and even sat differently at their desks and wrote differently. They gestured differently. I made notes and applied them in working with my patient.

Since I really didn’t know what I was doing at the time I just made my patient sound like me, move like me, and act like me. It was weird to see the results- my behaviors being mirrored in another physical being. It was surreal. Subsequently as a grad student I worked with several other transgender patients and became more familiar with what to do.

DUSTIN HOFFMAN AND TOOTSIE

After getting my PhD from the University of Minnesota and coming to Los Angeles to attend UCLA and get a Post Doctorate in Medical Genetics and do research on speech and hearing issues on patients with genetic diseases, I went to my first Hollywood party. There I shared my experience with some fellow guests about how as a grad student I taught men to sound like women. They were fascinated and asked for my card.

A few days later I was told to go to a secret address in Westwood on Manning Ave. and to not tell anyone where I was going. Naively I went. (Today I definitely would have asked more questions) . When the door opened I almost fell over- it was Dustin Hoffman! So for the next few months I worked with him to help him sound like a woman for Toostsie. He was magnificent! And all of you I am sure saw the results. Dustin was so believable as a woman that he even received an Academy Award for his performance.

HE SAYS SHE SAYS- CLOSING THE COMMUNICATION GAP BETWEEN THE SEXES
After Tootsie came out everyone wanted to know how Dustin Hoffman came to be so believable as a woman. They wanted to know who helped him sound and move that way? So the press found out that I was behind it and did countless stories in newspapers and magazines about my work. I even appeared on radio and TV shows across the country.

Because of all the press, people from the transgender communities from around the country and abroad came to work with me. I helped men sound like women like I did for Dustin Hoffman and women sound like men. I discovered that it was a lot easier getting a woman to sound and act like a man that vice versa. Even though there were a lot more challenges, all of them succeeded vocally and body language wise.

In working with these patients there was still very little research about men and women and communication. There were a few books but they were written by linguists that weren’t very practical. So what that men do this and women do that. What do you do with that knowledge? How do you apply it to your daily life, your love life, or your business life?

I figured that out.I took some of that information that existed in the literature based on the linguist’s research and then I incorporated my own research that I did back in my University of Michigan days and subsequent research and was the first to come up with practical advice that men need to do to better get along with women in their daily lives, in the bedroom, and in business ad vice versa.

I published this information in my book He Says She Says –Closing the Communication Gap Between the Sexes (Putmam, 1991) and later in my book The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Men and Women (Macmillan, 1999) I Also devised a “Sex Talk Quiz “ which lets you see just how much you know about the opposite sex. You may see that qui in various books and articles as people have been given my permission to use it or have been granted a licensing fee by me to use it.

ACCEPTING PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE
After working with so many people in the transgender community, I have come to learn their struggles and the pain they have suffered throughout their lives. People like you and I, who are born in the sex we were born in and enjoy living out lives as a woman or a man, have no idea the mental torture these people go through. So when Chaz said on television yesterday that she was happy for the first time in his life, I believe him.

In parting when Chris Cuomo said to Chaz Bono, “ If you’re happy, then I’m happy,” I concur. If Chaz is happy so am I . I want everyone to be happy with who they are and do whatever it takes to get there.

By the way, if you happen to be interested in learning more about male female communication or you want to know how to better improve your life with the opposite sex, you can order my books (He Says She Says or the Complete Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Men and Women) at Amazon or Barnes and Noble or order them or even DOWNLOAD it from my website at www.drlillianglass.com

Women seek empathy, sympathy, compassion, understanding, and political advantage by expressing this apparently lifetime prison sentence: “A woman’s work is never done.” They cite double and triple duty in homecare, family care, childcare, employment or all of the above.

It’s the wrong approach to keep a man. It pushes husbands to focus on themselves in disregard for their wife. It invites his self-analysis and maybe a comeback about problems that seem far more monumental than hers ever could be. In short, she reaches for more equality—a female value. But he values fairness knowing that equality is impossible. He’s doing what he expects to do whether she appreciates it or not; he expects her to just do the same. They signed up for unequal conditions when they married heterosexually, don’t you know.

Moreover, her claim invades husband’s domain of expected dominance, the present. A husband resents and resists his wife’s infringements resolving today’s problems, because he foresees his major role to be producer, provider, protector, and problem solver—however underappreciated he may be.

Consequently, claiming her workload to be ‘never done’ energizes both sexes to act unnaturally. He’s expected to become more giver than taker, but it pushes her to be more taker than giver. Acting out of their nature elevates disputes to the irrational. Then, repeated claims of her unfinished workload challenge him to look elsewhere for relief.

The winning combination for wife is this: Claim that a man’s work is never done and let him rise to her expectations. The self-fulfilling prophecy works far better than blaming him for not helping enough.

1. Men tend to navigate by directions, maps, and intuition. Women tend to navigate by landmarks.
2. Having to ask directions makes sense to a woman. Doing so confesses to a man’s insignificance.
3. Men tend to remember the past by events. Women tend to remember the past by emotions felt at the time.
4. Morality primarily serves women, because they need it much more than men.
5. If a woman fails to live within and uphold a self-imposed strong moral code, she can expect mistreatment by men. It’s not so for men.
6. Predominately men are takers and women givers. Marital strength lies with an imbalance accepted as fair but perceived as near enough to equal.
7. Promiscuity softens a woman’s hard-headedness and hardens her soft-heartedness. Promiscuity deadens a man’s respect for females.
8. Self-hatred in men causes rape and violence. In women it stimulates manipulation, self-destructive behavior, and loss of relationship expertise.

1. Men know romance as whatever is required to initiate foreplay or sex. Women know romance as the attention he pays her when sex is not at stake.
2. Men demand physical faithfulness in their mate. Women expect both physical and emotional fidelity but especially the last.
3. Husbands that enshrine themselves at home stay at home. Wives that enshrine themselves at home grow bored with husband.
4. Men fight best and work hardest for what they believe in. Women fight best and work hardest for who they believe in.
5. Men see friendship differently. Women don’t fit a man’s mold of pure friendship, except when they are far removed from being a sex target.
6. Women get upset and cry to release. Men don’t get upset by their own admission. They get frustrated, angry, and shift into battle mode without tears.
7. Men resist change to their person and role, especially by a woman they have conquered. Women are much less sensitive and more flexible.
8. Men shape their lives around thinking, substance, actions, and accomplishments. Women shape their lives around feelings, family, appearance, and relationships.

1. If she does not need him more than he needs her, she will tire and find him inadequate.
2. If she talks a man into marriage, it won’t last. A man’s devotion to marriage is very different than his devotion to a woman.
3. The women seeking masculine-style sexual freedom have made sex more fashionable than stable and long-term relationships. With help from men, Hollywood, and the media, it strengthens male dominance and directly weakens female influence in relationships.
4. Men instinctively think in terms of ‘you and me’. Women think in terms of ‘us’.
5. A man’s marital entrapment of a wife bonds him. A woman’s marital entrapment of a husband fools him once.
6. Marriage to women is monumental life enhancement. To men, it just happens.
7. Men are the more frank. Offer them what they don’t want or can’t use, and they will tell you. Women accept graciously, but do nothing with it.
8. Men are risk takers and tend to minimize risks after exposure. Women are risk avoiders and tend to eliminate risks to avoid exposure.

Brain lateralization refers to the division of labour between the two hemispheres in controlling a wide array of functions and is remarkably well developed in humans. Based on sex differences in lateralization of handedness and language, several hypotheses have postulated an effect of prenatal exposure to testosterone on human lateralization development, the topic of a long-standing and unresolved debate. Here we demonstrate a clear relationship between prenatal levels of testosterone as assessed from amniotic fluid of healthy pregnant mothers and language lateralization of their offspring at the age of 6 years. Using focused attention conditions in the dichotic listening task, in which the child is instructed to report information from the left ear or the right ear, we were able to differentiate between potential effects of early testosterone on the left hemisphere and effects on inter-hemispheric connectivity. This provides a new method to distinguish between the claims of the different hypotheses. The results suggest that in girls higher prenatal testosterone exposure facilitates left hemisphere language processing, whereas in boys it reduces the information transfer via the corpus callosum.

from Hearing Research

1. If he cheats, she wants to talk. If she cheats, he wants to walk.
2. A woman’s enduring love builds around her need for a brighter future. A man’s enduring love builds on respect about her virtuous character, her self-respect, and her likeability as a mate.
3. Girls dream of a happy life with Mr. Right, but she learns in marriage that it’s up to her. Men know they are the right man for any woman, and each expects one woman to energize and shower him with wedded bliss.
4. Men focus on the present and plan tactically for the future. Women focus strategically on the future and plan tactically for the present.
5. Women value and focus primarily on who people are. Men value and focus primarily on what people do.
6. Love motivates women. They seek to love something or somebody. Conditions motivate men. They seek to prove their significance at handling challenges.
7. Hard-hearted men are natural. Hard-hearted women don’t like themselves as female; they are ‘standing up inside’.
8. She is the expert on relationships and ultimate authority on yielding sex. He is the expert on copulating and primary authority on leaving or keeping a sex partner.

1. Conquest changes a man. He is no longer ‘in the hunt’ for that woman. Marriage changes a woman. Her husband can be made better, and she’s the one to improve him.
2. Dealing with the opposite sex, a man’s strength lies with directness and a woman’s with indirectness.
3. Men naturally dominate the present in both society and workplace. Women naturally dominate the future in both home and culture. (Male-dominated religions reject these natural imperatives. Our Judeo-Christian culture enables women to exploit these forces of Nature.)
4. Females specialize in loving others, but men specialize at something else.
5. Girls teach boys the requirements and finer details of dealing with females. Or boys learn to be guided by their hurricane of hormonal impulses even into adult life.
6. Girls dream about the right man and building a life together. Boys dream about doing things when they grow up, and a mate sometimes fills the background.
7. Men are impressed by what they see. Women are impressed by what they hear.
8. Women need affection, men don’t, and so men are weak at providing it. Men need respect, women don’t, and so women are weak at providing it.

Brain lateralization refers to the division of labour between the two hemispheres in controlling a wide array of functions and is remarkably well developed in humans. Based on sex differences in lateralization of handedness and language, several hypotheses have postulated an effect of prenatal exposure to testosterone on human lateralization development, the topic of a long-standing and unresolved debate. Here we demonstrate a clear relationship between prenatal levels of testosterone as assessed from amniotic fluid of healthy pregnant mothers and language lateralization of their offspring at the age of 6 years. Using focused attention conditions in the dichotic listening task, in which the child is instructed to report information from the left ear or the right ear, we were able to differentiate between potential effects of early testosterone on the left hemisphere and effects on inter-hemispheric connectivity. This provides a new method to distinguish between the claims of the different hypotheses. The results suggest that in girls higher prenatal testosterone exposure facilitates left hemisphere language processing, whereas in boys it reduces the information transfer via the corpus callosum.

from Neuropsychologia

Here are the latest numbers from National Journal magazine. (H/T ECM)

Excerpt:

Women now claim more than 57 percent of all bachelor’s degrees, 61 percent of all master’s degrees, and half of all professional and doctoral degrees, according to Education Department data cited by University of Michigan economist Mark Perry and others. They also earn more Ph.D.s than men in the humanities, education, health sciences, and social sciences, in-cluding two-thirds of new psychology doctorates.

And Obama and the Democrats are on board with pushing men further out of the university:

Administration officials and others are “promising to litigate, regulate, and legislate the nation’s universities until women obtain half of all academic degrees in science and technology and hold half of the faculty positions in those areas,” as my colleague Neil Munro detailed in the July 4 National Journal.

With federal agencies already preparing aggressive gender-equity reviews, the feminists’ biggest potential weapon is Title IX, the 1972 law barring sex discrimination in education. While commendably opening up opportunities, Title IX has also been used to require colleges to field as many female athletes as male, even though fewer women are interested. Many colleges have met their quotas by cutting back programs for male athletes.

The push for what some feminists call “Title-Nining” the sciences makes especially timely the recent publication of The Science on Women and Science, a book of 10 essays edited by Christina Hoff Sommers of the American Enterprise Institute.

So, the future for the Obama administration is to “Title-Nine” science and math to make sure that women and men are equally represented. Even if they have to shrink math and science programs down to nothing to have 50-50 parity. As long as the feminists achieve their goal of a perfect 50-50 distribution of men and women in every area of life, then it’s all worth it, right? Who needs math and science when you have feminism?

And there’s loads of taxpayer money (some of it mine) available to help the social engineers achieve their goals:

As the academic debate rages on, feminists seeking to engineer 50-50 male-female ratios have already directed millions of dollars of federal and university money to special efforts to increase the number of girls and women in math and science. They may also be sending a message that boys and men are on their own, except perhaps for re-education programs to purge them of gender bias. Ever-more-overt quotas (“goals”) in hiring and promotions to push women ahead of better-credentialed males are very much on the feminist agenda.

“Few academic scientists know anything about the equity crusade,” Sommers writes. “Most have no idea of its power, its scope, and the threats they may soon be facing. The business community and citizens at large are completely in the dark.”

I am a huge fan of Christina Hoff Sommers and have both of her books on feminism. I hope this new one is as good as the others! I wonder what women will do for husbands and fathers when there is a shortage of decent, educated, hard-working men? Good thing I don’t have any sisters or daughters to worry about. But I feel bad for marriage-minded women today. Everything was ruined by feminism before they were even born.

1. She expects frequent gifts and unconditional giving as sign of her man’s affection. He expects frequent recognition and unconditional respect as sign of his importance to her.
2. A man wants the privilege to do many things that do not necessarily concern his woman. A woman wants her man doing things almost exclusively for and preferably with her and her children.
3. She envies his freedom from family but is jealous when he takes it. He doesn’t think much about her lack of freedom from the kids.
4. Males respect and fall prey to the mysterious and what they can’t have, can’t earn, and can’t master such as a chaste female. Females are more pragmatic, because men are not so unique.
5. She seeks his faithfulness and must trust. He expects continual guarantee of her faithfulness, and he deduces it from her daily actions.
6. Women tie love and sex together. Men don’t.
7. Her hard-headedness captures a man. Her soft-heartedness keeps him.
8. A woman’s love emanates from her emotional connections with her own life and into which some attractive man enters. A man’s love arises proportional to his respect for women generally and one woman specifically.

Looks like Dr. J’s stylish new blog is featuring guests posts by scholars.

Here’s a new post by Dr. Trayce Hansen. She wrote an article on which family configuration is best for children. The title is “Same-Sex Marriage: Not in the Best Interest of Children”.

Here’s her thesis:

Same-sex marriage isn’t in the best interest of children. While we may empathize with those homosexuals who long to be married and parent children, we mustn’t allow our compassion for them to trump our compassion for children. In a contest between the desires of some homosexuals and the needs of all children, we cannot allow the children to lose.

And here’s a sample:

Only mother-father families afford children the opportunity to develop relationships with a parent of the same, as well as the opposite sex. Relationships with both sexes early in life make it easier and more comfortable for a child to relate to both sexes later in life. Overall, having a relationship with both a male and female parent increases the likelihood that a child will have successful social and romantic relationships during his or her life.⁽⁵⁾

Moreover, existing research on children reared by homosexuals is not only scientifically flawed and extremely limited ^(6,7,8) but some of it actually indicates that those children are at increased risk for a variety of negative outcomes.⁽⁶⁾ Other studies find that homosexually parented children are more likely to experiment sexually, experience sexual confusion, and engage in homosexual and bisexual behavior themselves.^(5,6,9) And for those children who later engage in non-heterosexual behavior, extensive research reveals they are more likely to suffer from psychiatric disorders, abuse alcohol and drugs, ⁽¹⁰⁾ attempt suicide, ⁽¹¹⁾ experience domestic violence and sexual assault, ⁽¹²⁾ and are at increased risk for chronic diseases, AIDS, and shortened life spans.^(13,14,15)

It shouldn’t be surprising that studies find children reared by homosexuals are more likely to engage in homosexual behavior themselves ^(16,9,17) since extensive worldwide research reveals homosexuality is primarily environmentally induced. Specifically, social and/or family factors, as well as permissive environments which affirm homosexuality, play major environmental roles in the development of homosexual behavior.^{(18,19,20,21)}

The rest of the article, with references, is here. I like all of the footnotes because they provide a jumping off point for more research, and that’s how these things need to be evaluated. First, we find out what’s true. Then we adjust our lives based on what is really true. We need to act in a way such that others are not harmed by out decisions. We especially need to govern our actions to avoid behaviors that may harm born and unborn children.

It looks like the the article was suppressed due to pressure from gay activists.

The California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) published a special issue of their bi-monthly journal “The Therapist” dedicated to the subject of same-sex marriage. Guest authors were asked to contribute articles, half of the writers in support and half opposed to same-sex marriage. A stated goal of the issue was to determine whether the organization should adopt a formal position on the matter.

Subsequent to publication of the May/June 2009 special issue (Volume 21, Issue 3), homosexual activists within and without the organization pressured CAMFT to not only apologize, but also expunge from their organizational archives those articles that voiced opposition to same-sex marriage. CAMFT capitulated to those demands. The Director of CAMFT apologized for publishing articles critical of same-sex marriage and all the “offending” articles were censored from the CAMFT website archives. So much for intellectual debate and freedom of opinion.

Apparently, making arguments and citing research papers was considered too “mean”.

Extra stuff

Look! I found some radio show clips that you can listen to on her web site:

• The Dennis Prager Show Re: Rape Is About Sex
• Dr. Laura Show Re: The Values of Today’s Sex Educators
• The Dennis Prager Show Re: What Women Need To Control In Their Nature <– This one is a must listen! Very mean!
• The Jesse Lee Peterson Radio Show Re: Same-Sex Marriage and Children <– This one is related to her essay!

And last of all, here is my post explaining why people oppose same-sex marriage. I also cite research!

Feminists claim only reproductive systems make the sexes distinctive. However, can it be true? Dennis Prager claims that “Truth and political correctness are mutually exclusive.”

1. Love to a woman means showing attention and affection, and she expects it from her man. Love to a man means showing respect and gratefulness for who he is and what he does, and he expects it from his woman.
2. Chastity empowers unmarried females to dominate their relationships. Men make great effort to hide it. They accept it, and return to their dominant persona after the couple’s first sex together.  
3. A woman can integrate her strengths with a man’s, compensate for their weaknesses, and build success as a couple. Men can’t. They lack both interest and expertise for relationship management.
4. A woman can tolerate an angry, aggressive man. A man withdraws mentally if not physically from that kind of woman.
5. A woman craves signs of her man’s love. He takes her love for granted.
6. Males are born hard-headed and hard-hearted. Good mothering softens their heart for dealing with women. Good fathering tempers their hard-headedness for living with a woman.
7. Females are born hard-headed and soft-hearted. Good mothering teaches them when to use head and heart. Good fathering builds and strengthens a daughter’s confidence for balancing head and heart in her interests.

More differences follow.

Differences in the sexes continue. Curious about the total, I number them.

1. A man wants his hut or castle outfitted for physical comfort. A woman wants her nest lined with emotional comfort.
2. The male nature competes first and cooperates when necessary. The female nature cooperates first and competes when necessary.  
3. A man thrives on a woman’s support and gratefulness for what he does, because he thinks he deserves it. A woman thrives on her man’s devoted attentions, because it confirms her value and self-love.
4. A man’s desire for his woman to maintain their home is much, much stronger than her natural objections. (But not her feminist objections or female-ego opposition.)
5. A man will call his hut a castle, if he’s treated as the king. A woman’s ego resists treating him that way, because she’s naturally driven to dominate her nest and their home.
6. When a woman wants comfort and understanding, she discloses to a specific man. When a man wants comfort and understanding, he does not disclose but turns to a woman.
7. Men have distinct missions in life. Women have life as their mission. 
8. Women want comfort and companionship in needy times and the future. Men want comfort daily after a hard day’s work.
9. A woman craves to associate closely with at least one strong, highly masculine figure. A man craves freedom, often temporarily from his woman.  
10. Love and sex are fine to a husband, but they are fillers rather than glue. Because it works for them, wives mistakenly think love and sex make relationship glue.

More to come.

The sexes are different in hundreds of ways. Differences are natural and appear unfair or unequal only when one sex strives to uplift itself at the expense of the other, as Feminism has done for decades.

1. The more masculine she acts, the less admirably appealing she appears to a man. The more admirably masculine he acts, the more appealing he appears to a woman. 
2. A criticized woman tries to improve. A criticized man proves criticism undeserved.
3. Immature men mistreat women. Immature women imitate masculine behavior.
4. A man’s self-image is more important to him than his self-esteem. Women are the reverse.
5. Husbands want to be confirmed as significant, but wives provide affection. Wives want to be shown affection, but men focus on their physical appeal.
6. His sharp tongue wounds her spirit, just as hers wounds him. A mature woman with a wounded spirit works harder to recover and do better. Men and immature females with a wounded spirit seek someone else to nurse away their hurt.
7. Women expect to criticize their man and remain in love with him. Men criticize their woman and weaken their respect for her.
8. Men receive criticism as reduced dependence on him. Women receive criticism and feel guilty.
9. God designed and Nature endows women as relationship experts. Men acknowledge their inferiority in this matter by paying little attention to relationship maintenance.
10. A man’s drive to be head of the house far overpowers a woman’s natural objections to it. 

Many more to follow.

If the role she creates in the home for husband doesn’t promote faithfulness, her only defense is his conscience. It may not be enough as shown earlier in this series.

NOTE: You’ll call the remainder of this series too male-friendly and unfair. You’re right, so I don’t advise. I only propose that women learn the basics of home life pressures that tend to push husband toward fidelity and pull him AWAY from cheating.

Wife expects them to play their roles in this high-to-low order:

·        She’s the devoted queen (ruler of household), conscientious wife (supporter of husband), and under-appreciated lover. (Elevating the mother role to the top rank subordinates husband in ways that push him AWAY from faithfulness.)

·        He’s the devoted husband, conscientious king, and selfish lover. (When she experiences trouble merging their self-interests into mutual interest, she claims that he has trouble with devotion and conscientiousness but not selfishness. Paying harsh attention to these weaknesses weakens and may endanger their relationship.)

He expects they fill their roles differently and in this order:

·        He’s the reigning king, appreciated lover, faithful husband, devoted father, hard worker, and someone’s super employee.

·        She’s the supportive wife, frequent and convenient sex partner, and primary home keeper.  

I suggest the following mission statements reflect their respective best efforts for living together:

·        Wife makes husband feel good about himself as reigning king, appreciated lover, faithful husband, devoted father, hard worker, and someone’s super employee in order to discourage cheating on her.

·        Husband makes wife feel good about herself as very supportive wife, very conscientious queen of household, and highly devoted sex partner in order to sustain her devotion to their relationship.  

These mission statements are idealized to accomplish one thing: Show the wife aka relationship expert ways by which she can merge their individual self-interests into mutual interest.

Greater details follow tomorrow.

To recap: Conscience is a function of respect for others, and that’s a reflection of how others respect us. Let’s continue with the man.

• Males must be conditioned to be faithful to one woman. The male nature knows no conscience about spreading seed. Either female-driven Nurture compensates for Nature’s shortcoming in his formative years, or wives and families pay for the consequent oversupply of unfaithful men.
• A man’s admirable conscience grows from the infusion of morality, respectability, and mutual respect exemplified by parents and other adults. The absence of such things produces a less admirable conscience.
• Toddlers are first, because their mind has opened and self-interest starts to develop. They learn to respect others by being shown respect for whom and what they are. To greater but varying degrees, the same continues with tweens, teens, and adults.
• After entering adulthood a man’s conscience changes little except in response to traumatic events, the most glorious being acceptance of the Lord into his life.
• Guys treated poorly by females in their life tend to smother their conscience and sometimes squelch it entirely. Guys treated respectfully turn out quite differently and much more reverential of women.
• Mothers are better able to show respect for children than fathers. They have different natural roles in rearing children. Females focus on teaching right and wrong; males focus on obedience.
• A man’s formative years determines what a woman has to build on during courtship. The more diligently and unanimously respected as a male by mother, grannies, sisters, aunts, teachers, and girlfriends, the more indelibly a man’s conscience becomes conditioned against mistreating females.
• In principle, when the females in adult life duplicate or improve on those of his childhood, he’s likely to be faithful. When they don’t, he sees less reason to remain faithful, because his respect weakens.  

In the final analysis, a man’s faithfulness rests on this foundation: He respects the female gender more than his own. Building on that foundation, each woman has a role to fill. That’s tomorrow.

Yesterday I mentioned mistakes and recovery. I need to recover before proceeding with original plan. Let’s look at cheating before we get to preventing it. So, we need to examine these identical terms—cheating, unfaithfulness, and infidelity—as they register with husband and wife:

• Faithfulness is the gigantic commitment and mutual expectation that operates in the marriage background as both gift and duty one to another. It generates very little marital glue, because the threat of the opposite also lurks in the background—infidelity. It’s a continual seesaw especially in wife’s mind: promise of his goodness vs. threat of his badness.
• To husband, wife’s cheating means sexual relations with another man, period. It goes so far beyond his ability to forgive and so disrupts his sense of significance and mental wellbeing that he dumps her before or after unforgivable abuse or even violence.
• To her, cheating comes in three degrees: (1) Sexual infidelity without emotional attachment to another woman is a first degree ‘burn’. (2) Emotional unfaithfulness is second degree burn, as represented by repeated sexual infidelity or emotional attachment to another female. (3) Any suggestion or danger of his abandoning her is third degree infidelity.
• The first degree she can handle, once she proves to herself that the second is absent. She can forgive, act as if she’s forgotten it, and move forward to brighten her future. (Feminism discourages this as different from how men react. So, women should act more as men do? I’m not personally endorsing either way but pointing out anti-female pressures that women face from the sisterhood.)
• The second degree is far different. Husband’s emotional attachment to another woman attacks her sense of female importance. It overpowers her self-love with self-loathing pressures of inadequacy. She can’t live with it. Note that it’s not so much him, he’s only the trigger. She can’t live with herself in his company. The frustration and humiliation usually triggers separation, so they can separate under her terms rather than his.
• The third degree ends the same way as the second for women of action: She senses the danger of his departure and beats him to it. For women less inclined to jump the gun, especially co-dependents, they await his departure with dread so great it causes indecision and often mental paralysis.
• If she gets dumped without any early warning signs, she endures the worst-case agonies of emotional unfaithfulness.
• She cheats for only one reason: Another emotional involvement, even though she may be prompted by revenge for his cheating.
• He always has an excuse for cheating. The more it reflects badly on him, the more likely he’s truly sorry (but don’t overlook possible manipulation if possible in his character).
• He’s not sensitive about emotional infidelity, and so he lacks understanding of wife’s inability to forget even if she forgives.

Unfaithfulness is a dirty game regardless of how it plays out. As with anything else, prevention helps prevent it.  We return there tomorrow.

Are there sex or gender differences in human behaviour? Sigelman and Rider indicated that many researches attempted to answer this question, and these are what have been discovered so far (all cited in Sigelman and Rider 1996, p. 324-325):
• ‘Females sometimes display greater verbal abilities than males, but the differences is small’ (Eleanor Maccoby and Carol Jaklin, 1974).
• ‘Males outperform females on tests of spatial ability’ (Choi & Silverman, 2003; Nordvik & Amponsah, 1998; Voyer, Voyer & Bryden, 1995).
• ‘Girls have a slight edge in calculation skills; the sexes do not differ in understanding math concepts; and males outperform females on mathematical world problems, starting in adolescence’ (Hyde, Fennema & Lamon, 1990).
• ‘Males engage in more physical and verbal aggression than females, starting as early as age 2’ (Buss & Perry, 1992; Eagly & Steffen, 1986).
• ‘Boys are more physically active’ (Almli, Ball, & Wheeler, 2001).
• ‘Boys are more developmentally vulnerable’ (Henker & Whalen, 1989; Jacklin, 1989; Raz et al., 1994).
• ‘Girls are more compliant with request from adults’ (Maccoby, 1998).
• ‘Girls are more tactful and cooperative’ (Baron-Cohen, 2003; Macobby, 1998).
• ‘Females are more nurturant and empathic; sex differences in behaviors, however, are small but show females empathizing more than males’ (Baron-Cohen, 2003; Deuthsch, 1999; Feingold, 1994b).
• ‘Females are somewhat more anxious, cautious and fearful, although not in sexual situation’ (Piggott, 2002).
• ‘Males show a small edge over females in self-esteem’ (Kling et al., 1999; Robins et al., 2002).
• ‘Males are more likely to engage in risky behaviours’ (Byrnes, Miller, & Schafer, 1999; Pinker, 2002).

The relationship expert aka woman functions as power figure and major decision maker to integrate primal urges explained earlier in this series.

Their different natures generate competition more easily than cooperation. However, he expects the competition to stop and cooperation to automatically arise after their first sex together.

The smarter relationship expert competes strongly to resist a man’s conquering spirit. After conquest, she withdraws from competition and uses her cooperative spirit to build compatibility:

• A man is willing to compete with a woman for only one thing: conquest. After their first sex together, competition with her threatens his sense of significance, which easily triggers her greatest fear, abandonment.
• A man needs a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s battles. A woman is driven to nest. If she puts her nesting as first priority (e.g., perfect house always in perfect order by perfectionist overseer) over his warm and comfortable abode, she initiates competition.
• A man is driven to compete against Nature, other men, and shape human events. A woman needs a brighter future. If she pushes him to overextend himself on her behalf (e.g., buy new home beyond their means), instead of supporting him and his work, she initiates competition.
• He wants freedom, and she wants a man. Competition with her pushes him toward freedom without her. Cooperation pulls him toward freedom with her. Lots of smiles and her likeability compound the pleasure of freedom with her. (Note: Affection and sex were intentionally omitted, as they’re only a small part of his wanting to spend time with her over and above his masculine drive toward other things.)
• He focuses on the present and she focuses on the future. Plenty of room exists for cooperation that breeds compatibility.  

Overall, when she favors him over her in these dilemmas, she wins, if her purpose is to find, select, marry, and keep a husband. If she can’t forgo the prime position on these issues, she’s headed for trouble winning and keeping a man for life.

The two previous articles describe the different needs, drives, and wants of both genders. More differences will follow this post too.

Her Greatest Fear: She fears abandonment by her father and then her man.

His Greatest Fear: He fears insignificance especially in the eyes of his woman.

Her Time Focus: A woman focuses primarily on the future in order to meet her need for a brighter future for her and her children. She handles most of her present-day concerns and activities as the result of earlier anticipation, planning, and attitude adjustment. Also, fear of abandonment also triggers concern for the future.

His Time Focus: A man focuses primarily on the present. His primal readiness to compete mandates more attention be paid to challenges today. Also, his sense of significance arises from the past and not from future accomplishments.

Next: Tomorrow their drives, needs, wants, fears, and time focus will be tied together for relationship experts aka females.

Her Wants:

♦       A woman does not absolutely need a man, but she wants company or assistance at specific times in life.

♦       Her primal want is for a solid relationship with someone stronger and more influential in shaping events that impact her and her children.

♦       She wants help to brighten her future in a society dominated by powerful people, unexpected events, and catastrophes.

♦       She wants comfort in needy times and companionship for prevention of loneliness.

♦       Intuitively, she favors one man, because two will not knowingly share her except that one on the sly may cuckold another.

His Wants:

♦       A man wants the freedom to do as he chooses and especially make himself stand out among others as unique, as a competitor, as a person of significance.

♦       He seeks the freedom to lay with her or play with her, to hunt or punt, rest or nest, read or lead, think or drink, farm or harm, glean or lean, produce of reproduce, or just do something new or exciting—especially in the spare time he earned from working at his job.

♦       His pastimes may or may not include his woman, which is a good endorsement of long courtships to form more mutual pastimes.

Next: Their greatest fears and compatible focusing on time.

 Feminists claim the only true gender differences are the reproductive systems. They claim everything else is socialized into both sexes. I claim that feminists politicize everything else out of both sexes. See for yourself as this series expands.

Her Need: A woman instinctively needs a brighter future for her and her children. Unless very immature, she seeks security of life, dependable relationships, and family cohesiveness. She seeks family, economic, and social stability. She seeks safety of health, life, and family. To fulfill such need she has two options: give of herself to a helpmate, or do it alone, lonesome, and perhaps desperate.

His Need: Men have one overwhelming need that makes everything else minor, regardless of how they seem to act even to the contrary. A man absolutely needs only a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare himself for tomorrow. A hut will do, but if a woman does it for him, he judges her nesting and castle building by how it supports his work and outside competitive interests.  

Her Drive: Women are driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. This instinctive drive bonds society together with family units.

His Drive: Men are driven to compete against Nature when it obstructs their progress, compete with other men, and shape and control human events. Three primal urges tie in their sex drive:

• Compete with Nature and females are available.
• His physiological urge to copulate.
• His intrinsic urge to outdo and outshine other men.  

These primal urges combine to make males compete with females for conquest but for nothing else afterward.

Next: The next few posts include their competing wants, compatible fears, and opposing interests in the present and the future.