One of my favorite episodes of one of my favorite shows “Sex and the City” is the one where Kim Cattrall’s character Samantha is hooking up with this guy (ok, so that could be any episode). They’re getting all into it. She’s moaning and shaking  having a good old time. Then right at the point when she’s climaxing she has this revelation.

“I’ve fucked you before,” she says surprised.

 She’d met this guy, took him home and had sex with him all without realizing that not only did she know him. She’s already had sex with him before. She had a Deja Screw. Its like you know you’ve been there and it seems really familiar to you, but you can’t really remember when and how.

 For many people the idea of this actually happening seems unlikely, but H-girl for one is a believer. I think this is totally possible. I believe it because its happened to me.

 Not quite the way that it happened to her. I have, though, on more than one occasion  become reacquainted with a person from my past and completely forgot that we had at one time slept together.

 This is a totally plausible circumstance for several reasons: First, despite the fact I’ve never done a drug in my entire life, my memory is total crap. Second, I’ve had sex with and dated so many people over the course of my life sometimes it all runs together. And finally, sex with some people is so bad you just block it out of your memory.

 I had a deja screw moment about a week ago. Through the magical world of Facebook I’ve been in contact with a guy from high school. We talk casually now and then. On this occasion, he starts reliving the good times we had hooking up in high school. The really good times. I had no clue what he was talking about. I had no memory of said good time and even asked if he’d confused me with someone else. He said no and started telling me things about myself that he would have only known if we’d got together.

 It honestly was creepy, but it also was a bit troubling to me. Have I been with that many guys? Has this happened to anyone else? Have you had a deja screw? If so, tell me about it.

Other than being a total nympho H-girl is pretty square. I don’t party much. I don’t stay out late. I eat healthy and try to work out regularly. I don’t smoke. I go to school and to church (yes I said church).

H-girl is not much of drinker either, but this week had been so stressful  when my ex-boyfriend/current really good guy friend invited me out for a night of barhopping, I took him up on the offer.

Two bars, one very racy dance to “The Right Stuff” by New Kids on the Block, and a combined 13 drinks later I was on the floor riding my ex-boyfriend’s  unprotected dick.

The sex was great. Wonderful in fact.  (We never really had a problem in that department).

In my humble opinion drunk sex is some of the best sex you can have. The only thing better is “make up sex” or “I’ve been stationed in Iraq for a year” sex.

Let me clarify this statement though. Drunk sex is only good when both partners are drunk.  If the woman is drunk and the man is sober, as long as its not a forcible rape scene or an orgy its kind of erotic. However, if the man is drunk and the woman is sober it usually isn’ t very good. In my experience, the man usually has a difficult time staying hard thus making it impossible for the woman to get any enjoyment out of his Jagermeister-smelling self.

When both partners are drunk, though, it tears down our walls of  inhibitions and loosens our hangups. That’s when the best sex occurs. My suggestion is to apply this no inhibition mindset to all of your sexual encounters and they can all be just as exciting.

What do you think? Are you a fan of drunk sex?

so my ex boyfriend called me out of the blue for a rendez vous.  we had been meaning to get together for a while, but it always seemed that one of us had something to do, or someone else to screw.  i decided to make plans with him for a thursday night, making sure to warn him that i was plenty busy, just in case he looked horrible and i wanted to dip out of the situation.
 
my ex, Aging Electrician, was the man of my dreams when we dated back in high school.  he was the best friend of my older cousin and i remember being 14 and promising myself that i would hook up with him one day, even though he was 6 years older.  i basically stalked him into submission as a high school senior and made him agree for us to go out to a “friendly dinner/ drinks hangout”. i lied and told him that i was 18, two years older than i actually was.  then, when he dropped me off in front of my house at the end of the night, i climbed on top of him and made out with him before he had a chance to protest.
 
we dated on and off for a while, and though it was really fun to date someone in their 20s when i could barely drive, i quickly got really bored and dumped him before college.  you cant teach an old dog new tricks after all.
 
when we met up, i was expecting the worst.  a balding, pudgy electrician is really one of the saddest things in the world. but i was broke and needed a free dinner out of it.
 
when we met up on the corner of 72nd and columbus, i was pleasantly surprised.  he looked GOOD. i hadn’t seen him since high school and i was shocked that the drinking beer while fixing eletrical lines hadn’t caught up with him.  he looked so cute in his button down and jeans that made his butt look amazing.  the night was looking up after all.
 
the night began to look even better around the third margarita i had at the mexican restaurant we went to.
 
“are YOU trying to get meeeeeeeeee drunkkkkk?!?!?!” i slurred.
 
he nodded.
 
i wasn’t really complaining though.
 
i dragged him back to my dorm where he had to stand next to the freshmen who were trying to sign in their friends, probably all of 17.  and there Aging ELectrician was, 25, but with a five o clock shadow that made him look about 30 (though a sexy 30!).
 
he had to hand over his id to the security desk before we went upstairs.
 
he commented on all the pink that decorated a dorm room of a ton of girls.  my hello kitty watercooler elicited a snicker, too before he grabbed me, pushed me against the wall of my bedroom and kissed me.  it was bizarre kissing someone that i hadn’t even seen in about a year.  exciting, sexy…but most of all comforting.  it was a strange feeling of knowing that you’ve been somewhere before.  and that you’re happy to go back.

we had sex and while it was good, it wasn’t the actual sex that was the best part.  it was bringing myself back to who i was the first time i was with Aging Electrician.  before the parade of guys that i club over the head and drag back to my twin sized bed, i was actually someone idealistic enough to think that relationships really work, that i might actually love this other person. so, maybe you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but maybe the old ones aren’t so bad after all?

This blog is so long overdue… but the true fact is that I just returned from the UK and have been crazy busy trying to catch up with life! And soooo much happened on the trip, oh my lord! Quickly, before I get into explanations… I am over Dick. Operation “getting over a breakup” successful!

I got home, and the next day got my hair done… I should mention my stylist is my ex-boyfriends girlfriend… or should I say… fiance? They are getting married! I was genuinely happy for them, but it truly is an end of an era. It made me really realize that the past is far over. That night I met up with my dear friend Jackie. She and I went over to Dick’s, so we could see his new place and have a few drinks. It was wonderful to catch up with her and she plans to come here in a few weeks so that will probably be a crazy blog post!

The next night Dick and I went out to dinner, and then went back to his place for a little midnight swim… we had some wine, some amazing sex, and then I talked to his parents for awhile once he fell asleep. It was a good night… but after I could just tell things were different. The only time Dick and I were really having a great time was while we were having sex. Dinner was bland… he was on his phone the entire time. He had nothing to really add to conversation and had a blase attitude the whole time.

The next night I went out with Jackie and my friend Roberta. We went out with some more of my “friends” in a band and checked out their show – another for Backstage Adventures! We had an absolutely incredible time, lots of flirting and hanging out with rockstars, you know, the usual! Afterwards we decided to go to the bar that some of my old schoolmates were at. I talked to my friend Tony, who was on his way home, but turned back around to meet us. Tony and I talk a lot, and we’ve always been very attracted to each other, but in other relationships.

The bar was fun, Roberta met a guy and went home with him, and Jackie was too tired to stay out. I went back to Tony’s with some of the boys, we went for a swim, and then the others went home. Tony and i started fooling around, and ended up having sex. It was fun, but is anything really great when you’re shitfaced? Well, yeah Steven was. Anyways we finished and as he drove me home I asked him to keep it quiet. He asked me if I was already having regrets and I said no, but I don’t like everyone knowing my business. That’s what I have my blog for!

Next night I went out with Dick, my brother, and a bunch of others. We went to the bar and of course ran into the entire world. I would say we knew 99% of the people in the bar, per usual. Dick and I started arguing, and left to get pizza. We ate, and then my wonderful Adriana picked us up and took us back to his house. The next day I had a family wedding to attend.

I got home, and started getting ready for the wedding, and the dress I was planning on wearing wouldn’t zip up. I was about to cry. I am now on a full fitness and diet plan, I need to stop being complacent and getting into better shape!

The wedding was beautiful and now I had to head back. The trip was nice, but if anything I realized Dick is still the same… the same as he was when I realized I didn’t want to be with him anymore. He’s so happy and content living in the world I’ve left behind, and I just want more. I feel like I’ve gotten him out of my system. I haven’t thought about him much this past week at all actually. And I can’t wait to go out tonight and find someone new.

I met up with Steven quickly today, and he is a doll. So sweet and there’s just something about him… also, Jack called me last night. I texted him today, saying to let me know if he’s doing anything fun. Amazing that for once, on the most unlikely weekend, we are both in town!

This weekend will probably be another like the 4th of July, where the crowd sucks and the city is dead. Unfortunately, the hurricane in the south halted my plans. Guess I’ll just have to wear white all weekend and get that out of my system as fast as I did Dick. And I’ll be here for the US Open of course. And how could I forget the premiere of my favorite show of all time, Gossip Girl (!) on Monday! Perhaps staying in the city won’t be quite so bad. And I am very hopeful for fall:)

He’s not even here yet and might not come afterall. I am horribly regretting any and all of this. Some of our friends got married over the weekend, and I heard from him while he was at the rehearsal dinner, and then not again all weekend. I’ve barely talked to him… and he’s supposed to be staying with me. I asked him if he wanted to get a hotel one of the nights so we could have some privacy… still waiting on the answer to that one.

How does he have this ability to make me feel so pathetic? In reality he should be kissing my ass, sending flowers, at least talking about being excited to see me. For the first time I realize that I don’t really fit in his life anymore… there’s no room for me, and he doesn’t care any more. I think a lot of what was holding me back so much was that I always thought he still cared – that we still had some love left. And that’s what I was clinging to… and now I’ve realized that we don’t. Hopefully that will help me put my heart into really moving on.

Him coming here would/will be a step backwards from that, because of course he will care while he’s here. I’m sure he’s going to walk in, charm my pants off, and then he will leave me feeling empty. There’s always that fantasy of seeing someone you were in love with and having it all come back, all the feelings and the waves of being comfortable and happy, especially when sex is involved. But now I can tell that things are really different, he’s not someone who even cares about trying. I barely know him anymore, no matter how much I want to hold on to him as the boy I used to know, used to love and want to be with.

I’ve been wanting to know for so long why I keep holding on, why I keep hoping that he will change and realize that he wants to be with me. But I don’t think it matters – I know why I’m holding on, and now I know why I don’t need to do that anymore. I know he won’t change – maybe the person I was in love with didn’t even really exist – maybe I didn’t see him for what he was the whole time. And now I know he doesn’t want to be with me, or isn’t capable of it. That makes me feel like shit, but at the same time, I know we were in love at one point, and I know I am capable of truly giving my all to somebody. And you can’t force somebody to care if they don’t. You can only believe in karma, and know that one day, they will finally get it.

Maybe it hasn’t worked out with any of the men I’ve met because I’ve been closed. Even though in my head I’ve been open to a new relationship, maybe subconsiously I don’t want someone else. Maybe I can’t fall in love again until I’ve really let go. Either way I haven’t taken care of myself or given myself enough credit. I do deserve to be treated well. If anything, his behavior has made me so much more sure that I don’t want to cross the boundaries into anything physical if he does end up showing up. I will not be that pathetic ex-girlfriend who sleeps with her ex to feel validated. And if he doesn’t come, I have Jack’s birthday party to go to…

So I know I can’t be the only one who makes sex mixes. It’s absolutely essential to good sex. A bad soundtrack or failure to have one long enough is never good. I certainly won’t be sleeping with Dick once he gets here…. but let’s say we hypothetically booked a suite at the Gansevoort and hypothetically we layed down for a nap after a long day of drinks by the pool and hypothetically one thing leads to another… and before you know it we are having mindblowing sex? Hypothetically, of course. We’d need a good playlist right? And even if hypothetically that never happens… a girl needs to be prepared.

Below is my playlist for hypothetical sex with the ex:

1. I Miss You – Blink 182 (Used to be one of Dick and I’s songs – plus you can put it on and it doesn’t sound all that sexy, more like a song to “take a nap to”

2. Carry You – Dispatch (Hot)

3. Out Loud – Dispatch (Sweet)

4. Stay or Leave – Dave Matthews (Listen to the words)

5. Better Together – Jack Johnson (Dick and I’s song)

6. Rehab – Amy Winehouse (If you don’t believe me watch the Nip/Tuck clip of Matt and Kimber getting it on during a meth binge. Trust me.)

7. Sorry – Buckcherry (Passionate and perfect especially for someone who is… well, sorry)

8. I’m Yours – Jason Mraz (A totally cute and happy song)

9. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room – John Mayer (Anyone who has ever had a breakup should listen to this song… it’s incredibly written and beautiful)

10. What Goes Around – Justin Timberlake (Comes around!)

11. Soul to Squeeze – Red Hot Chili Peppers (So hot to hook up to… my high school boyfriend introduced me to this one;)

12. Under My Thumb – Rolling Stones (Pure sex)

13. Can I be Your Best Friend? – 50 Cent (Another of Dick and I’s inside jokes)

14. Blue and Yellow – The Used (Again, a hot one to hook up to)

15. Rehab – Rhianna (Good words, good breakup/hookup song)

16. You’re All I Need to Get By – Method Man and Mary J. Blige (Getting a little ghetto with it never hurt anyone)

17. If I Never See Your Face Again – Maroon 5 (Watch the video with Rhianna, hot!)

18. Won’t Go Home Without You – Maroon 5 (Let’s just say if Adam Levine sings this to me next time we hang out… I will not go home without him)

19. All We Are – One Republic (“We must say goodbye, we won’t break, we won’t die…”)

20. What For – Rooney (Gossip Girl got me on this one, I confess)

21. You’re a Wolf – Sea Wolf (Gossip Girl again! What can I say, their music producer is on top of their game)

22. Hands Down – Dashboard Confessional (Since I lost my virginity to Dick with this song it’s only appropriate)

Wow talk about overly emotional! I’m going to need to be drunk for this one.

Nobody needs 1.4 hours to have sex (ouch) but there’s always the pause function. I’m going to post more playlists in the coming weeks, feel free to leave your personal favorites in comments!

With Valentine’s Day less than 24 hours away, even my usually dark heart is craving a little REAL lovin’.  Random hookups are fun and all, but every once in a while (like today), I really want someone to eat dinner with and watch crappy reality TV with.  But then again, thats what I have my roommates for…

On a side note, which I completely forgot to mention before, I had sex with my former fuck buddy, Ronnie, on SuperBowl Sunday.  How bout that for scoring?  It was a pretty standard, none too special fuck.  Kinda like pizza…not mind-blowing, but can sex with an ex ever really be that bad??? (Other than the possible mind-fucking emotional crap).  I don’t think it can.

A fun roll in the hay, but I still want someone to buy me dinner and take me to see Step Up 2 (don’t judge!) tomorrow.  Any takers?