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Does Feminism = Pro Sex Worker?

eliseanne — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 21:44:54 +0000

This is a question that has been mulling in my head off and on for awhile. Mainly because International Day Against Violence Against Women, and International Day Against Violence Against Sex Workers both occurred sometime in the last few weeks. [note: i realize that not all sex workers are women, and that my feminism interacts with notions of male sex workers, too. that sounds complicated so i am going to stick with talking about women. let me know if you think that is an unjust choice and i'll go from there.]

So obviously I am pro women’s rights and equality, and am anti sexism and oppressive patriarchal systems. I call that feminism. I dont know what you call feminism, or what baggage you bring to that word, so I chose to desribe that instead.

[another note: please do not bring up reproductive rights debates in this thread, i haven't the energy or synthesized thoughts for that discussion.]

I get all messed up in the brain, though, when I think about sex workers and the whole industry of sex work, and my feminism. I support the right of women to choose to be sex workers, theoretically. But I also know that in many cases, what looks like a “choice” is really not. Many women are forced into sex work, by kidnapping, manipulation, power/control, or modern-day slavery situations. Others have been traumatized by sexual abuse or rape in the past, and sex work becomes a coping mechanism. Some become sex workers as a way of physical survival, and others have hardly any other options but sex work, or surely feel that way, because of past or other circumstances. In all of these and similar situations, would my support of these sex workers actually look more like providing other options, food/shelter/safety, and healing or support from trauma??

There is a whole lot messed up with pimps and jons and how sex workers are going to jail for prostitution while the menfolk mentioned above often do not. Especially when it is a situation like the ones I just mentioned. Woman goes to jail for prostitution when she is a literal slave who was kidnapped and forced into the work against her will? Like that makes sense. It is also very dangerous work. The threat of violence, STIs, etc etc etc must exist most of the time.

But then there are women who actually choose to do the work, who have other options, who haven’t been forced or who aren’t doing it for coping or survival. And, to be honest, I dont understand this realm yet, but I’m beginning to hear and see its existence more. Some are wealthy, upscale women who do wealthy, upscale sex work. Some might not be. And to them, it might be offensive for me to assume all the negative situations mentioned above, about them. Perhaps they see their work as empowering, or as fighting against the sexist notion that only men would want that type of free sexuality. Just hypothesizing outloud. I am working on this realm.

Regardless of why a woman is a sex worker, I agree with Audacia Ray (cross-posted at Feministing) that

We [sex workers] need the support and participation of a culture that sees us as human beings – we are your mothers, sons, cousins, friends – who are worthy of living lives of dignity that are free of violence.

And Jessica Yee says, cross-posted at Racialicious,

Women forget that while we show up to vigils and talk up a nice speech about some “poor prostitute” who died on the streets, we simultaneously judge, shun, and degrade current sex workers and speak against decriminalization – something that might actually help protect us.

Yes. Every human being is worthy of living a life of dignity free of violence. Dignity and respect means no shunning and degrading. I 100% agree.

…but do I support the legalization or normalization of the work?

I’m figuring out that there are definitely different camps on this issue. Racialicious linked to an article about the prevalence of Native American women in MN who are forced into prostitution, which is then called sex trafficking. But..

Although the legal system treats prostitution and trafficking differently, the report often uses the terms interchangeably, as many advocates believe that prostitution can never be considered fully consensual. The prostituted woman is the true victim of the crime, they argue.

“There’s a general acceptance that prostitution is a lifestyle choice, when it’s actually a federal crime against women,” Koepplinger said.

The article, which is really interesting btw, goes on to say:

Many advocates say that law enforcement needs to address not only the traffickers, but also the individual men who pay for sex. Carter, of Breaking Free, said she believes that the men should receive felony convictions as a deterrent.

“We believe it’s about supply and demand,” she said. “And there’s so much focus on the supply, which is the women. The demand is the men who buy them. That’s what keeps prostitution thriving is the demand.”

It seems like they advocate for sex work like prostitution to continue to be illegal and to have increasing consequences for the clients, as a way of protecting the workers and, I assume, putting the pimps and thus the trafficked workers out of business, and hopefully, out of their oppression or slavery.

So….
The only pattern I can sense is that women of privilege, or who are in sex work by choice, advocate for legalization and support of the industry. But women who did not choose, who are oppressed, do not. Or is it just the people trying to help them that do not?

And does “supporting” or being “pro” sex worker necessitate being pro-legalization/decriminalization of it sex work like prostitution? Or does it also mean being pro health, dignity, respect, and safety for sex workers like all people, regardless of their work or the legalization of their work?

I’m stuck. It seems so multi-faceted. Your thoughts?

sex worker: the labor of love (not not fun)

marxsbeard — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:13:53 +0000

three tracks of layered and processed channeling in honor of all trafficked humans and anyone trapped in cycles of pain and violence. sexual slavery is a special case of slavery which includes various different practices: 1. forced prostitution 2. single-owner sexual slavery 3. ritual slavery, sometimes associated with traditional religious practices 4. slavery for primarily non-sexual purposes where sex is common or permissible.

maybe not not fun should have changed to not not political for this one. and it’s probably no surprise that it’s from one of the dischord label’s finest alumni, daniel martin-mccormick. fella used to be in black eyes. black eyes had two albums on dischord. cough, the final one after splitting, is arguably easily the highpoint of their noughties releases. and i think the last one i bought. it was a furious concoction of post-hardcore dub and free jazz. there’s a movingpicturebox below…

well this is his first alone under the sex worker pseudonym. it is essentially a punk or folk protest album, an angry ethical agenda disguised in the usual nnf fashion by great gurgling moans of synth schmears. like if ducktails grew up under harsh neon flicker and dirty needles and the grim (un)reality of the flesh trade. like if someone took esg apart and rebuilt the monster using ancient casio presets.

where the usual schitck from the label is to open yr mind, empty yr mind, let yr mind wander wherever the fuck it likes this, i suppose, is an attempt (and a succesful one) to focus it somewhere. still a hypnotic transcendental ooze of zonked musik but with, you know, some form of sociological subtext burbling ‘neath its pleasingly noisy surface. do you take what you want from life? are the lives of others lives for you to take?

so three long tracks (linearly…) and a narrative of sorts i suspect:

ptsd. post traumatic stress disorder one assumes. kindof an unsettling disorientating twelve minute pulse and feedbacking skree that builds into some vicious psyche noise. it’s a coming to a head, boiling over, freakfreakfreaking out shriek of righteous fucking anger. all manner of cut-up treated howls and yowls and screamerry and phonetic ravings. at times subtle, at times horrifying. as i guess it’s meant to be. fade out.

fade in to:

without you (couldn’t be alone). almost minimalist techno. almost dub echoes. vanishing point long distance moans and wails of uncorporeal looped and looped and looped. a voice damaged and wordless ghosts in and out of the kraut beat and clamour. can’t tell if the title’s supposed to be quietly threateningly or hopelessly in love. probably a bleak both.

cut to:

no more. a warning. a plea. a statement. reminds me of some odd random from one of the sublime frequencies pop sounds records. strange and alien and foreign sounding. but at least some melodic light at the end of the tunnel. plastic drum fx and hazy undercurrents of noises, chiming, bloops and a beat that’s barely there. could almost be ambient. could almost be trance. it’s the almost bleeding dawn part to the preceding dark drift.

for thirty minutes he brings the emotion, intensity and personal bent of his previous work into new musical zones. whereas black eyes tended to explode, this tends to suffocate. as punk cathartic as it is hypnagogically blighted. terribly beautiful.

myspace / not not fun

Busty Vixen

punter69 — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 23:07:22 +0000

I met up with Busty Vixen for two hours in my hotel room. The hotel room, that was rather odd. Convenient for me as near the station, I hope convenient for my escort as she was driving.

She arrived on time, texting me just before she arrived at the door. Nice touch. I was’nt sure what to expect as her pictures are very discreet. She was nice, she is busty and all her own work. She is tall, well taller than me. We chatted, I had a massage, very relaxing, there was oral and there was sex. We chatted some more and then we said our goodbyes. I lovely evening for a poor old man like me, I enjoyed myself. I hope she went away with some memories of the evening, well good memories I hope.

Sex Workers, Dissidents, Politicians, and Trust - What a Mix

petersainsbury — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 22:33:06 +0000

As one of China’s leading dissidents faces charges of ”inciting subversion” and a

Finally, A Sexy Story About Climate Change

ecosex — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 01:17:14 +0000

Welcome to Sex, Copenhagen, and Sustainability. Danish sex workers are offering their services free of charge to delegates of the UN climate summit. Now that’s what you call Ecosex!

US meeting with NGO delegation at the PCB: Report compiled by Gulnera and Rathi.

apnswdollhouse — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 11:44:43 +0000

Here is the first of our reports from the UNAIDS Program Coordinating Board meeting in Geneva, where Rathi Ramanathan is representing APNSW as one of the new NGO representatives for Asia Pacific.

We raised the issue of whether Pepfar restrictions on sex work would be reviewed under the administration.

Goosby: Prostitution clause – in middle of law suit 0 confident that we have internal agreement to minimize impact at global level. Will not require written statement to accept funds. Afraid to try to change language so as not to disrupt law suit. Getting sued is the correct approach. Confident we will be able to have it not impact the way it was intended to impact.

Goosby, the head of Pepfar and head of US delegation at the PC responded was that while language around Pepfar would not be reopened because too many detractors however two US based NGOs are now challenging the restrictions and should they be successful, that could open some opportunity for policy to be revised and he said the Obama administration was more open to the idea of relaxation the prostitution pledge. However, Michelle Moloney-Kitts, assistant coordinator of Pepfar who while insisted that funding around sex workers and access to prevention and other services (food, microcredit, eduaction, condoms availabiility) was still possible under Pepfar but insisted that monies could not be used for legalisation of sex work. When asked after the briefing Goosby’sposition on sex work, he said he was sympathetic but difficult to rally public support for Pepfar to fund legalisationof sex work in view that most americans do not view the legalisation of sex work favourable but he indicated, he would not object to international language drafted around legalisation of sex work . Michellle, part of the remaining Bush camp still holds a lot of weight especially around issues around gender and gender based violence and clearly anti-trafficking at the international fora. The current health attache of the US mission in Geneva is also an abolitionist.

Discussion with Michelle Sidibe and cosponsors

Met up with Steve Krause of UNFPA and he says, there is money for core funding for sex work related activities for 2010 but advised that proposals are sent in by end of Jan. For Asia Pacific proposals be sent to Bangkok office and him. Asked whether advocacy around MDG summit would be accepted, he said he would take a look. Rathi is talking to Vince about a collaborative proposals between Seven sisters and APNSW to build capacity and advocacy around MDG Summit and follow up for Universal Access review in 2011. We understand from Michelle Sidebe that he intends to lobby China, South Africa and another State (yet to be determined) to hold a HIV dialogue to review universal access after 2010 (UNGASS+). So it is important to start strategising around this Summit and securing funding for sex workers networks to attend.

Sidebe is expected to announce a high level task force on prevention which we view as positive especially in view that with of potential cutbacks by donors as a result of the financial crisis. This task force could garner political will to increase funding on prevention, an area the second evaluation has admiteed that UN joint programme has neglected. He also expressed concern around punitive laws as a barrier for key populations to access to HIV services. As a result we didn’t follow up spefcially with him on the idea of a thematic issue of punitive laws affecting key population. Vince of seven sisters who is also on the Bureau raised this issue of thematic on punitive laws but was informed that there is a list of themes already slated. He said he would email list to APNSW. However on a positive note, the PCB NGO delegation have also committed that that in view that stigma and discrimination is an agenda item for the June 2010 PCB, punitive laws which act as barriers to key populations would definitely be raised at the meeting.

Rathi Ramanathan, APNSW and Gulnara Kurmanova, Tais Plus

I wondered what it would feel like to kiss Rahul-Arjun Mathur

fenilseta — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 08:12:02 +0000
KISS AND TELL: Rahul Bose and (right) Arjun Mathur Rahul Bose-Arjun Mathur do first gay love scene i

i feel this to be the most fitting way to begin...

nakedintangier — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 23:52:24 +0000

no-one who loves is EVER free

more later….& welcome.

What I learned from Porno: PSE VS. GFE

chriscicchelli — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:44:42 +0000
You down with PSE? Yeah, you know me! You down with GFE? Every last homie. Recently, I visited The E

UN: HIV/AIDs Scourge In East Asia And Getting Worse

petersainsbury — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 17:33:51 +0000
Sex workers and gay men in East Asia are becoming increasingly vulnerable to HIV infection at time w

Nicola and Lady Ellen from Leighton Buzzard

punter69 — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 12:39:23 +0000

I realised I was not punting so much, work and lack of opportunity were getting in the way. I decided on a early Christmas present for myself. I booked Nicola and Lady Ellen for a two hour threesome. Thought I could easily afford the time, as work was slack. No sooner booked, I was hard at work with a customer go live. Thats life, and I was commited now.

Still decided not to cancel, and managed to squeeze in the visit to Leighton Buzzard where I was to meet the two delectable females in their modern flat. I arrived at midday, and a problem was immediately apparent, bad mobile signal and a text saying were we meeting at 12.00 from Nicola. Lady Ellen thought it was 2.00 and had double booked, luckily it was a short appointment and was very near the end. Nicola sat with me in the car as we waited the few minutes.

After the unexpected problem, all was resolved and the appointment was soon underway, starting off with lots of mutual touching kissing and mutual liking. Its nice to lick pussy and still feel a warm mouth around your penis. There were toy shows, and lesbian shows, and I was truely pampered.

I thought two hours would be too much, but its amazing how time flies when you are so enjoying yourself, and equally making two women happy as well. As is my way, conversation moved on to politics. These two are not activists, but the telling words they said were, ‘Why don’t all those people (parliament and abolitionist feminists) just leave us alone to get on with want we do best.’

I shall be back for some more at another time.

Hometown Ho ~ Part 2

Slow Lee — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 12:50:13 +0000

I did it, I finally took the plunge! I got up on the tiny, gallery stage in front of 60 of my hometown community members and proceeded to:

1. Don a Strap-On
2. Grope beautiful women
3. Playfully present some of the more obscure tools in my Domme bag
4. Strip down to my favorite, far-from-modest, purple thong

Thank, you, thank you. Yes, this obscene venture marks a milestone in my efforts to be exactly who I am here in my new, Northern world. The Burlesque show was exactly the vector I needed to frame my earnestly raunchy pursuits. This was, however, not just my time to flaunt my easy assets. Robin and I were able to arrange 10 highly talented performers who undertook a range of theatrical presentations, ranging from darkly sultry (see the shadow strip tease above) to downright blasphemous. The entire night went over famously, a real hit that will undoubtedly be visited again.

Having fed my staving exhibitionist beast under the context of art, I feel refreshed and surprisingly unembarrassed. I no longer feel the frustrated desire to drive hours to a decent strip club and tease the world with my body, which is expressively smoking hot, despite being a bit mediocre. I can hone my lusty skill set, quench my thirst for scandalous adventure and hell, I can even get paid! And I didn’t even need to rent a hotel….

Now, this new endeavor shall only happen perhaps two times a year. There is simply not enough of-age demand in this tiny state for more sexy shows than that. Also, while I get a nice little chunk of change at the end of the night, Burlesque will certainly not replace my sex worker income. However, I feel well on my way to finding myself a nice, warm, erotic niche to occupy in this sleepy little metropolis, one that will keep me safe from myself and satisfy my whims for sexual spectacle.

Sex workers' armour, Female Condom

savie karnel — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 06:02:49 +0000

Though female condoms have found no many takers, sex workers call it their diamond armour. They not only use it when their clients refuse to wear a regular condom, but also use it when they have their menses, so that they don’t have to lose out on their earnings during those days.

“Female condom is like mythological character Karna’s diamond armour for us. Before this we were at the mercy of clients, and couldn’t do anything when clients refused to wear condoms,” said Radhika (38), who was a sex worker and is now working as Field Supervisor of Suraksha, a NGO.

Though sex workers insist on condoms, some clients force them to have sex without a condom. It is then that the female condoms come to their rescue. “It is usually goondas and policemen who want to have sex without condoms. They don’t even pay us. There are some clients too who force us to have unsafe sex and pay more. There are some, who tear the tip of the regular condom and come out,” said Geetha (30), General Secreatary, Karnataka Sex Workers Union.

Geetha has herself become a victim of Sexually Transmitted Infections. “Some years ago, I was in desperate need of money, and agreed to have sex without condoms for a higher price. Later I got boils on my private part, and was healed after medication. At that time there were no female condoms too,” she said.

Besides safety, female condoms are also used by sex workers during their menses. “For some of us, periods last for a week and forgoing our earnings for a week every month is a huge loss. So we wear female condoms at that time. It blocks the blood and the clients too don’t come to know that we are wearing a condom or that we are having our periods,” said Radhika.

The other advantage of female condoms is that that the man doesn’t get to know if the woman is wearing it. “It is like a tube and goes inside the vagina, and clients don’t get to know. We either wear it before meeting the client, or go to the toilet and wear it just before the act,” she said.

Radhika says that in Channapatna taluk alone, she distributes over 150 female condoms every month. This is besides the regular male condoms. “Sex workers take three to four female condoms in a week,” she said.

While one female condom costs Rs 70 in the market, the Karnataka Health Promotion Trust distributes it to sex workers for Rs 5 per condom. “I tell them that they spend Rs 5 for flowers which dry away, while this condom can safeguard them,” said Radhika.

Rainbow Rope is Killing My Bondage Buzz

Slow Lee — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:04:30 +0000

Oh dear, I am about to do something terribly petty. I am on the cusp of expressing, to you, whoever you are, my complete vexation with Rainbow Rope. Yes, I am about to write.a review, and a rather negative one at that. Ugh, what a slimy feeling, being so pissed off…

What is Rainbow Rope? It’s a small business that provides beautifully colored bondage rope and accouterments to kinksters at conventions and supposedly online. I came across them at The Fetish Flea Market and was so taken with the bedazzling array of bright bondage coils, all wrapped up in large spools, that I promptly ordered Annabill, my shopping slut, to buy me about 150’ of the stuff. Armed with varying lengths of deep red, twisted yellow/orange and Barney purple ropes, I went about the rest of my Flea experience with total satisfaction. I knew that I would be revisiting Rainbow Rope someday and would gladly purchase more of their useful products.

That was then, back in February of 2008. Now, I am impatiently awaiting the ultra-tardy arrival of my very badly needed bondage material. I placed my order on Nov. 8 and selected ‘priority mail’ to ensure that it would arrive in about 2-3 days. Still waiting. I have tried to contact Rainbow Rope via the email sent to me to confirm my order, which is undoubtedly a dismal robot, sending the note automatically.

I’m running a burlesque show on Saturday (yes, THIS Saturday) and direly need my delivery in order to execute my fabulous Tied Tight Couture Rope Bondage Fashion Show. What on earth is a showy Domme to do?? Where the fuck are my ropes??? Damn it…

I tried being a good person. I wanted to support small business. Now, I shall have to resign myself to Home Depot, having no other viable rope options in the area. I have not been charged yet, but I have no way of canceling the order because the Rainbow Rope site has been down for days. My information is floating out there somewhere…I’m dying for the site to go back up to I can blast the bastards with a profanely polite email of indignity.

I am not alone! In fact, after having vented my frustrations to two other Domme colleagues, I received similar accounts. One had even been charged the full amount, no less that five weeks after placing her order. She received the ropes about two months after having ordered them. This woman is one of the most notable Dommes on the East Coast and has vowed to never shop Rain Rope again. If only I had known.

Alright, enough bitching. I hope that somebody finds this useful. If you’d like some more evidence of this pathetic display of business practice, check out Master Void.

Hometown Ho ~ Part I

Slow Lee — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:40:27 +0000

It’s the most confounding thing, being in my rural home town and maintaining myself as a sex worker. Unless I line up a bunch of gigs down in Boston for a weekend trip, I’m inactive, completely without an outlet for my sexual professionalism. You should see my armpit hair! I feel my physical maintainence slipping by the day…when I do go to the city, it takes three times as long to shave, pluck, brush and paint everything back into a high standard.

It’s not that there isn’t work for me up here. In fact, if I were to open shop and put up an ad on Eros, I believe that I would do very well up here in the hills. Trouble is, I have this new fangled 9-5 job that puts a big crimp in my scheduling. Oh, and I don’t have a proper space to host my patrons. That, and this is my home town…the wiser side of me is thankful that I don’t have the time or resources to start whipping ass in my backyard. I’m sure that there are advantages to screening; I would certainly know many of my new applicants and wouldn’t even need to take a deposit from them. I can see it now:

“Oh, hi Mr. Lambardi, calling to get your cock tied? Of course I know who you are silly, you came up on my caller ID. How’s Margaret?”

“Of course, Jim, my pleasure. You really are a stunning submissive. So attentive! I always knew you had this streak in you, ever since you coached me in soccer, actually.”

“Really, Jack, this has got to stop. Not only are you my co-worker and neighbor, but I saw James last week and Jordon is booked for next Tuesday. I appreciate the business, but honestly, I have little interest in becoming the family Mistress. If I have to hear you all squabbling over ‘who’s taking mother shopping’ one more time, I’m going to dismiss you all. Oh, hold on…Jeff left his hat here, could to give it to him for me? Thanks….”

Yes, being the local pro could have it’s social downsides. Perhaps it’s best that I stay busy and bury myself in my office work, music, yoga, family and friends. That’s not a bad life! So what’s my problem? Why do I sit at my desk and so often gaze, in a daydream, over the thousands of cars racing by my small town? The town where the major highways intersect; the perfect place for a dungeon or parlor.

That’s enough, put it out of mind. Oh, and look, late for work. Late for my grown up job, longing for my adult job.

Belle De Jour Exposed!

am1am2 — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:57:20 +0000
The woman famous for writing about her time as a sex worker in London as Belle de Jour has finally r

Sunday's meeting

happyendingsdoc — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 18:21:08 +0000

On Sunday, October 25th, over 30 women from spas through out Rhode Island met to discuss the pending legislation on prostitution in Rhode Island. You can read about it in the Projo, and at the Huffington Post. The article on the Huffingston Post was written by Rep. David Segal who was at the meeting.

I was also at the meeting. Rep. Edith Ajello told the women: “This is a huge rock you are looking to push up a very steep hill,” encouraging the women to attend a State House committee hearing Tuesday at 4 p.m. where the prostitution bill could be amended. “I think you should try. The most positive thing would be to put a human face on the issue.”

Some women did try, not by showing up but by the old American way…getting a lawyer. The Providence Journal seems like it is coming around against the legislation. Bob Kerr wrote about the meeting, stating:

One woman talked of how it will interfere with her ability to send her daughter to college. Another suggested that the work she does is better than stealing.

But they will lose their jobs. The Rhode Island legislature will end its slow crawl to the moral high ground this week by eliminating the legal loophole that has allowed indoor prostitution to flourish.

At this time the bill has passed the house, and will shortly be voted on in the Senate. It looks like indoor prostitution will be illegal by this weekend or early next week.

Here is audio from the meeting. Listen to these soon to be “criminals” and ask yourself the question, Are you going to feel safer when these women are in prison?

Clips from the meeting

Interview 1 and 2

Interview 3 and 4

Community mobilization study on sex worker collectives in India

vbmagar — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:55:32 +0000

Using an empowerment framework, this review examined sex worker group collectives emerging across four high prevalence states in India. It identified complexities related to their efforts to balance across sometimes competing mandates to govern, promote healthy behaviors, campaign and manage stigma. Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.

Gender, sexuality, violence within HIV contexts in India

vbmagar — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:54:40 +0000

This study investigated the nature and extent of gender- and sexuality-based violence among at risk and those affected by HIV among the poor in India. Specifically, the team explored stories among those affected by gender- and sexuality-discrimination, including women, men who have sex with men, and (male to female) transgendered people. The study also explored a number of community-based interventions across civil society actors working with these groups.

Rest, Recreation, and Resistance: EMPOWER’s Approach to Advancing the Rights of Sex Workers in Thailand

vbmagar — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:52:27 +0000

by, Veronica Magar and Chantawipa Apisuk In Geetanjali Misra, Radika

Chandiramani (Ed.), Sexuality, Gender and Rights: Exploring Theory and Practice in South and South East Asia. SAGE Publications New Delhi/Thousand Oaks/London

See the Link: Click Here

USG sex work policy study

vbmagar — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:51:10 +0000

Lost in Translation: A study on the USG policy on sex work and implications for HIV programming in Thailand, Cambodia and India (OSI/Soros Foundation) Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam, CHANGE (May – July, 2006).Impact: Brief on the Implications of U.S. Policy Restrictions for HIV Programs used to influence congressional leaders, USAID officials and the general public. http://genderhealth.org/pubs/APLO.pdf

Stalked, Kidnapped, Raped

destinystar — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 23:15:04 +0000

Being stalked is probably the most terrifying experience anyone can have. You meet someone and are nice to him, and he’s nice t you, but for some reason, things just aren’t going to happen in a relationship. You tell him you just want to be friends, and suddenly your life is turned upside down.

I met my stalker at the club where I work. He asked questions while I was dancing, and even invited me to just sit and talk. We talked, I tod him about my art, and even gave him a way to see some of it online.

He started coming in to see me dance more often, and started reading commetns on my art pages. He even commented a time or two and made me feel special. One day h came into the club wih a box of art supplies for me. I thanked him and continued my night.

He coninued to come in, and while I didn’t realize I at the time, he would get extremely jealous whenever I danced for someone other than him. I didn’t know that when he wasn’t there watching me, things were getting extremely creepy.

He was frequently following me around town. He knew my car and my license plate number. He knew my home phone number and my cell phone number. He knew my real name. He had my myspace and facebook addresses with my real name on them.

He knew who my parents had been. He knew where I lived, he knew when I worked and when I didn’t. He knew hings about me that I thought were deep, dark secrets from all but my very closest friends.

He would watch me from the shadows outside my home as I dressed for bed. He watched me go to sleep. He watched as I occasionally had sex with someone from the club or a bar. He got jeaous. He got angry. In his mind, I belonged to him, and no one else should have me.

He started to plan.

He started learning everything there was to learn about everplace I went reguarly. He learned the layut of the cub. He earned the layout of my home and the homes around me. He learned about the stores where I shopped and the parks where I ran.

He learned everything about me and made his plan foolproof. He hid severa times near each place he thought he could catch me alone at times he thought I would be there to learn if he really could catch me alone.

While all this went on, he continued to be a regular at the club whenever I was there. He and I continued to have little conversations whenever I danced for him. I thought we were, well not friends, but people who had a very pleasant working relationship. He was one of my favorite customers because he tipped well for dances and didn’t expect me to do things for him.

Then, one day, it happened. I was walking to my car at the edge of the parking lot of the mall I liked to shop at on my nights off. It was late and the mall had just closed. A van was parked next to my car. As I unlocked my car door, the van door rolled open and I was pulled inside.

I was tied down, gagged, and covered with a blanket. I was driven around for a long time, probably in circles. Eventually we stopped and I was carried like a sack of potatoes to a room where I was tied down on a bed.

He sat and talked to me. He told me all about his obsession with me. He called it his love for me. He told me that now we would be together forever. I cried. He cut my clothes off me.

He didn’t rape me right away. He tried to act like he was my lover. He kissed me all over. He touched me. He made my body betray me by becoming aroused. When he entered me, I screamed. I screamed that I hated him. I screamed that he was the worst thing that ever happened to me.

I made him angry. He beat me. He raped me again. He sodomized me. He told me that I would die as his property. He told me that I was his, and that I’d never see anyone I loved again. He told me that if I wanted to be see someone I loved I’d better start loving him.

I was kept chained to that bed for I don’t know how long. He would occasionally let me go to the bathroom, but would stay and watch me. He’d make me go with him standing right there looking at me, and then he’d chain me back to my bed. He’d rape me whenever he felt like it. He’d use me however he wanted.

I’m only alive and free because my roommates missed me and couldn’t get me on the phone, and I’d parked in view of a security camera at the mall. The police looked for me, found out I’d gone to the mall, found my car, and saw me being kidnapped. They saw his license plate. They found his address.

They found me chained to a bed, beaten, bloody, and feeling like my soul had been raped out of me. He was tried, I had to testify, and he went to prison. He wasn’t a big, tough, or mean guy, so he spent some time being raped repeatedly himself before he tried to fight back and was killed.

He’s the rapist it’s easiest to forgive for some reason, because he was the third. He was the one who led Miranda to bring her priest to talk with me. He was the one who ultimately led me to Jesus, and, in a way, I suppose I owe him for that.

I hope that he found God before he was killed, and I hope that his soul was saved, because otherwise he’ll spend the rest of eternity longing for the time he spent in prison and wishing he could have traded places with me chained to that bed. I won’t pray for him to be released from purgatory, and I won’t pray that he suffers in hell. I do forgive him, though, and I hope he found his salvation.

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A Prayer to St. Mary Magdalene

destinystar — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 10:40:12 +0000

This is my prayer to my patroness, St. Mary Magdalene

St. Mary Magdalene, penitent who had the courage to wash Jesus’ feet with your tears and dry them with your hair, pray for me to your friend, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, that He will grant me the great gifts you were given.

Ask Him to teach me your penitence, that I may weep at His feet for forgiveness of my sins, as you did.
Ask Him to show me a penance as perfect as yours, that I may serve Him as perfectly as you did.
Ask Him to show me the miracle of His resurrection with the clarity He showed it to you.
Ask Him to teach me humility, for while my sin of pride was not as great as yours in your sin, I am still too proud of my beauty and do not use it for His purposes.
Ask Him to grant me the peace and the joy of serving Him that he taught to you.
Ask Him, as He cast seven devils from you, to drive the devil’s influence from my life.
Ask Him to show me the forgiveness He showed to you, as I weep at His feet.

Pray for me, St. Mary Magdalene, that I may find my way out of sin and perfectly into His service as you did.
Amen

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