What I want to know is this: Why can’t we be both?

This theory implies a woman must assume one of two subservient roles: to be protected or to be pursued, sexually speaking. Why is it that some women are considered pretty while others are described as sexy? Why are some women almost always approached by men, while others always land in monogamous relationships? Are we giving off some kind of radar that only the opposite sex can detect?!

It makes me wonder at what point this is determined in a man’s life. If you had a wholesome, nurturing mother growing up, is it safe to say you’ll go after a similar girl as an adult? Or, if your mother was more assertive and possibly the disciplinarian, is it probable that you’ll wind up attracting a partner who challenges you in the same way? Everyone has a type, true enough. But have you ever noticed how some men will consistently date whores, only to wind up marrying a Madonna and vice versa?

I’ve dated men who were interested in nothing more than nookie, and definitely did not view me as a wholesome specimen. I’ve also dated men that have seen me as the kind of gal you bring home to mom. Long term material. And while I agree I’m a pretty good catch, I definitely wouldn’t consider myself to be of the Madonna mindset. I’m all for relationships and monogamy, but a boring sex life I am not. One of my ex-boyfriends even refused to have sex with me upon discovering who I really was. Not a whore, per se, but I definitely have a considerable appetite for the coochie coo.

As much as I detest the label, I would say I fall into the whore category, and proudly so. Ladies, which one are you? The Madonna, the whore or an equal sprinkle of both? Post a comment, I’d love to hear what you think.

image source: Alyssa L. Miller

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Appearance tops the list for what most men deem attractive in the opposite sex but many women, if not most, have that near the very top too. That is why the argument “she likes his personality” is a very weak one; I know some women who won’t even consider a man unless he is at least “quite good looking”. Something else must be responsible for this phenomenon.

Looks may be important to women but one of the strongest attributes a man can have is the ability to attract other women. As I explained in an earlier article, this is because if a man can demonstrate his popularity with the opposite sex he displays that his future sons will inherit his “attractive to women” genes. Note that I’m not suggesting in any way women are responsible for or are consciously choosing men using these criteria but this is all subconscious. This explains why men with girlfriends are naturally more attractive than single men.

The majority of men wrongly assume that since appearance ranks so highly on their list women must heavily value appearance over everything else too. Women may also be a victim of this false reasoning: “if I find John attractive since he has so many women around him maybe he’ll find me attractive too if I surround myself with men”. Personally, this hypothesis is far more plausible than the traditional personality theory.

Marriage is a completely different nutshell in itself and although I have a few thoughts and ideas they are too “controversial” to discuss right now.

Eventually, though, the drama, ritual, and pretense of organized religion became too much for me personally so I quit going. But these revelations didn’t stop revealing themselves to me; I just found them in a more familiar setting: at the movies! One of the most prophetic pictures of my past was The Matrix, with its Alice in Wonderland subtext and sapient story of enlightenment and redemption through personal choice (red pill or blue pill?). And recently it happened again with this year’s astonishingly brilliant “Black Swan.”

The story is of a psychologically and sexually repressed ballet dancer who is technically precise enough to dance the role of the White Swan to perfection, but lacks the depth and personal (aka sexual) experience to adequately embody the Black Swan, the White Swan’s evil and seductive twin. She’s beautiful and captivating as the White Swan but, as her choreographer in the movie asks her dance partner: “Honestly, would you fuck that girl?’ His answer is no.

So this brings me to my epiphany. You know, the one that reminded me of the deeper meanings of life I used to seek in church? It occurred to me that, in the beginning of our relationships (like marriage), as we work to woo the object of our affections, we often embody the Black Swan in our passion and desire. Yet as time goes on and we fill our days with the often oppressing realities of everyday life–the broken bones, broken promises, broken pipes, and broken dreams–we come to personify the White Swan with the precision to tackle life’s dirty details but lacking the sizzle that keeps it smokin hot.

In thinking about my own relationships I realized that I had come to exemplify the White Swan to my spouse (and he had become mine) but I’ve symbolized the Black Swan to my sweethearts. In contrast, my lovers have been my Black Swans while they typically retained the role of White Swan to their wives. [If you don't believe me think about the last time you made love to your spouse. Yes, I'm sure there are a few Demi & Ashtons out there but I bet most of us didn't begin with a powerful, passionate embrace, barely making it through the door and beyond before ripping each other's clothes off. Just sayin].

So given this idea that marriage might cause previously passionate people to evolve into sexual complaciency (I’m not even sure that’s what it is), is there hope for retaining that heat long after the flame may have flickered out? And what about folks who met and married young–being surely passionate but potentially lacking in sufficient sexual sophistication to embody the Black Swan at all. Are they doomed to a life of marital White Swan sex?

It seems to me there are a few choices that we face if we want to keep the spice in our sex lives:

• We can work to recreate the Black Swan roles with our partners, who probably love us enough to do it but might struggle to step outside of long-held relationship roles that hold us firmly in their grasp. I’m thinking role play or other practices that help us suspend our existing beliefs or possible limitations.
• We can live with it the way it is, ignoring our Black Swan selves in hopes that they miraculously go away (not likely).
• We can love and accept our White Swan spouses and continue to fulfill our Black Swan desires on the side (hopefully openly & honestly). The risk with this, in my opinion, is that we often equate Black Swan desire with “love” and mistake the heat generated through those relationships as somehow more valid and valuable than the relationships we have with our partners.

I realize I have painted a picture that looks a little black and white. And I know life isn’t necessarily just like the movie; where the struggle between archetypes, this battle for supremacy between the light and the dark–the sexually virtuous and virginal vs. the shadowy and seductive–inevitably ends as one wins out over the other. No, my guess is that there’s a lot more grey area in between. And I assure you I’ll keep looking for that happy place–the one where the yin and the yang can coexist peacefully together.

I arrived, looking about 60% as attractive as I’d normally try to be for a first date and within moments he made two comments about being grateful I’d come out to meet him and what a pleasure it was to meet me. The second time I corrected him.

“The next hour could be the worst one of your life- You don’t know yet!”
And we laughed.

Though it wasn’t that the statements were premature that was the problem- it just felt like he was handing me the position of higher social value- and we already know from the pick-up-artist on VH1 that that is a no-no for creating attraction.

I tried to look past it.

He was sweet, we had good conversation, it was a nice time, and he was definitely cute but the whole time I’m looking across the table trying to figure out why I am bone dry for this guy.

He kissed me at the end of the date and there was some fun chemistry in the kissing itself but it seemed so out of the blue! He hadn’t touched me at all prior or even given me a look with hunger in his eyes.

Theories:
Physical: He looked young and like a stereotype- or not enough like either stereotype- and his whole image was an effeminate sort of pretty that I think I would have been able to like in high school before I started to need a MAN and not a boy.

Psychological: He didn’t make me feel like I wanted or needed his attention.
He didn’t show sexual interest in a way that I really understood. He was too neutral and too friendly.

I suppose he just read as weak, while claiming to enjoy dominance. I felt more like I was on a date with a girl. I only found myself attracted to him when he did very direct things like just kiss me.

I like compliments like “you’re very pretty” and I don’t like compliments that are guised or sort of slid in.

On a tangent involving another guy- it’s also the worst when a guy won’t just say “I’m interested in you, lets go out.” and instead says things like “Hey I think I found someone who’d want to sublet you’re apartment- what do I get in return??” just hinting at what he wants but obviously enough that you can’t ignore it. I suppose that would work for a guy I was just DREAMING of dating, but for a guy I’m on the fence about it absolutely stops whatever good momentum he has going. It forces ME to take some of the initiative in changing the nature of our relationship from friendly to romantic or sexual. He doesn’t realize that all he has to do is be confident in the rapport we’ve already built- that by committing to HIS desire to date (or screw) me, I’ll probably follow the lead- but I won’t be expected to shoulder even half of the responsibility of making that shift when I’m not the one that wants the sex- despite recognizing a burgeoning attraction and chemistry in our rapport.

I WANT guys to succeed when they are trying to have sex with me. I love sex! I wish they all knew how to not shut down my attraction system entirely.

… Now, I’ll grant you, it was solid sex. I HAD an orgasm. However, I’ve had many, many orgasms before- some with men I loved and some with men I regarded with the utmost apathy- so, I wasn’t sure why he thought this was news worthy…

…he did let me spend a solid amount of time on top….

…and he was fairly attentive to what I liked/didn’t like….

So, he deserves some credit- but my confusion started to mount as he continued to start bragging about how good he is in bed… He’s catching his breath after sex with me…reveling in how great a lover he thinks HE is….?

It seemed as though if he had the opportunity to fuck me again or to fuck HIMSELF, he might pick HIMSELF…

It’s appropriate to comment here that I’t good looking. Especially while naked. I’m not a delusioned woman who thinks she’s attractive but actually isn’t- I used to assume I was average or less, but, after curiously trying to sort out why men ALL SEEMED TO WANT TO FUCK ME, I got clued in to the fact that my ass is the stuff of legends and that the rest of me is unoffensive at worst and worship inducing at best.

So come with me into this moment- A guy just finished having HIS OWN orgasm (granted after he gave me mine) and he can’t stop commenting on how talented HE IS IN BED.

I couldn’t figure out if he was trying to convince me- after all I was JUST fucking him, I didn’t need marketing to- or if he was coyly poking around for validation- commenting on his greatness expecting me to say things like “I completely agree- you really just blew my mind just then- no one has ever been such an enthusiastic lover!!”

And then, as he was glorying in the power of his penis, my head on his still breathless chest, his tone takes a 180.

“You have to go.”

“uh… okay?”

“I’m about to be really, really sick and I don’t like getting sick in front of people you have to go.”

“Uh, yeah sure totally no problem um… ”

(he starts running out of the room)

“…is there a light switch??? I’ll leave as soon as I’m dressed!” – I call toward the bathroom door.

I got dressed and was heading out as he emerged cradling a bottle of pedialite to his chest and raving about how he drank to much…

I was relieved to have circumstances resolve the sleepover/go home question FOR us, because personally, I prefer to sleep in MY bed myself- it’s a peace of mind thing- but I will say that the entire scenario concluded itself as awkwardly as a skinny bespectacled ginger asking a cheerleader to the prom.

If I hadn’t built up an unshakable sexual self-image as a reaction to my years of sexual doubt, I might have thought I’d been a disappointment or done something wrong.

All things as they are though, I was perfectly happy to go home and sleep, and I’m fairly certain my interactions with this gentleman in the future will be exactly the same as they always have been before, so all in all it was a great experience- but indeed to most quizzical post-coital behavior I have ever encountered.

I should also note that coital is the must decidedly un-sexy sexual reference word *ever*.

Ever since my move to new york was in the planning stages I’d begun sleeping my way through the list of my best friend’s friends. I think if I hit ten we all have to chip in and buy him a toaster. Early on in the night one of the entourage who’d shown interest on another occasion grabbed me by the waist in a way that told me “if no one else, we’ll fuck each other tonight.” and I was complicit. The unfortunate side effect, though, of having an attractive back up plan is that it raises the qualifying threshold for the start-from-scratch suitors- and it put me at risk of losing him to someone… more entertaining? more approachable? funnier? bigger boobs? whatever his type is.

I have zero mojo in bars (on the patron side of the bar), I’m pretty sure I just reek of the rejection I’m about to dish out to 97% of the guys present, despite the respect I owe them for approaching me at all despite my overt disinterest. I suppose if I found myself swimming in tall, built, nerdy guys (Columbia basketball team?) I’d put off a softer, more available vibe. I’m also interested to see how different it is to go out in New York in the summer when I can wear a dress and fake nice from the outside in. I have no way of truly being myself and bringing out my “inherent charm” in an environment where 1) it’s too loud and social to put my “real” personality (nerdy, philosophical, romantic) on the table and 2) People aren’t dancing.
Drinking and dancing can at least induce that sort of dionesian state where you don’t have to play the small talky I-give-a-shit-who-you-are-and-not-just-what-you-look-like game.

I suppose my sex life has always had this dichotomy- either the guy has to be immensely qualified and able to prove it/bring out my favorite sides of me, OR he has to be hot and keep his mouth shut while I pray he doesn’t try to have a conversation after. A few guys have started with all the potential to be on one end of the spectrum and slid over towards the other, but typically I can tell who’s who off the bat. Too bad all the qualified guys know they’re qualified and take their time getting invested, and all the unqualified guys are blissfully unaware that they’re painfully uninteresting and try to hang around longer than they’re welcome.

Anyway, sheer laziness won the night despite not one but TWO changes of venue. Entourage back up plan lost a glove at venue 2 and got too obsessed over it to try talking to strangers. I think that’s when he said “screw it I’ll take the sure shot.”

Is it kind of insulting to be someone’s “sure shot back-up”? kind of. But It’s better than not having a back up and not getting laid when that’s your clear objective. Entourage guy has a fantastic body and was fairly sure to be a good time (and he was).

So, I finally broke in 2011, with a no obligations friend-of-friend with a hot body, cute smile and 4 mile thick emotional walls for the best, since I’m reasonably doubtful he and I have any deep soul to soul connection (….although he did have a shelf full of books on happiness and psychology?). Happy New Year to me!

No matter how beautiful a woman is, a guy will eventually get bored of her beauty; he desires conquests and adventures. This is why you do him a favour by playing these “games” I suggest you play from time to time. It may feel evil…but it’s for your good and for his. Think about all the women who refused to play games and at the end of the day…they ended up hurt when they were cheated on and left by their guy.

Play the game of variety; sometimes be hot…other times be cold. Life itself plays the game of variety. Consider the way the world is… sometimes its hot…other times its cold. On some days it rains, on some days the sun comes out. The “bad” weather help us appreciate the good.

Imagine if you knew exactly how each day would turn out; imagine if every single day of the year was the same…365 days of the exact same events. Yes it may begin by being exciting…but then…boredom is bound to set in. Consider this….if there were no need for variety then there wouldn’t be a switch in our minds known as “boredom”. Boredom causes us to seek change, variety, activity.

This post needn’t be long…the simple fact is…your boyfriend needs variety! And that variety of conquest and adventure he needs can be found in one woman. But how can he conquer what is already conquered? Do you think its by chance that a womans most fertile time in her ovulation cycle coincides with a phase where she’s tense and has a bit of attitude? This attitude and sudden behavioural change in her arouses a desire in him to subdue! He’s given a chance every two weeks to play Conan the conqueror with his ovulating woman. Variety is the spice of life.

Cleopatra and Mark Anthony, young prince Auguste of Prussia and Madame Recamier, Napoleon and Josephine…History has shown time and time again  that the ones who take control of the variety of emotional experiences of their relationships are the ones who are longed for and obsessed about in the relationship. So why not give your partner the gift of longing for you?

Disinterest conveys that you are not yet in full submission, it presents a challenge. The very sexual design of the female is built this way…at the time she is most likely to concieve from sexual intercourse her behaviour becomes unbalanced and more challenging…if a sudden change in behaviour was unproductive in increasing a mans desire then it would not make sense that this design of her ovulation period would exist.  It is meant to add strain and ruffle up the bonds in the relationship and cause the man to desire and pursue her more as he feels she losing interest in him…i’m not making this up, biology, chemistry and history support it.

Below are some ways to convey disinterest in person, over the fone, even by your activity on facebook. The results you want will not come by the mere reading of what is written…but by the application of them. Begin doing them so that there’s appreciation of you and of your attention.

In person

1.      Don’t look him directly in the eyes.

2.      Don’t engage in conversation or try to sustain conversation.

3.      Don’t ask questions about him, or his life. Give him one word answers.

4.      make your body language stiff, not open to him and distant.

5.      Spend 10 minutes with him and say you’ve got to go. [Politely, not as though you're angry]

On the phone

6.      Not answering your phone for days.

7.      Not returning his phone calls.

8.      Spending little time on the fone before ending the conversation abruptly by saying cold things like “Got to go now” [Don’t do these things in a rude way, be polite. Do it like you’re being vulnerable and tender to him but yet distant and cold at the same time. Vulnerability disarms…Rudeness arms...Mixed signals take captive!]

9.      Suddenly become busier than usual. Make excuses not to be with him. Don’t lie…even if its just dishes you have to wash its an excuse, but don’t tell him you’re busy because you have dishes to wash. Let him fear that another might be stealing you. Say something like “I have something i need to do”.

10.  Make the time devoted to him less frequent. And so if there’s a day you two usually meet (i.e. friday) don’t be available when he rings you.

11.  Don’t cry, giggle, or laugh on the fone to him…act unaffected at all he does, even if he tries to make you jealous.

12.  Tell him to hold on…then put him on hold until he hangs up. If and when he calls back.. don’t answer! Let him wonder what’s going on!

13.  Forward his calls to voicemail for a whole day on the weekend. When you eventually speak to him…don’t offer him any detailed explanation…be vague but don’t lie….if he gets angry…don’t worry…it’s working! Trust me

14.  Don’t have your usual late night fone calls…around the time he usually rings…make your fone engaged. If you must…call your girlfriend just to make sure…or dial your service provider…150 if you’re on t-mobile

On facebook

15.  Upon receiving a message from him…don’t reply. He’ll be hovering over your fb page like a hawk. Make it clear that you’re active but just not replying to his messages…you could change your profile picture and still not reply to his message…let him wonder what’s happening!

16.  When you eventually reply him…you could post a song which says you find men boring like Beyonces to the door to the door song (not sure what the name is).

17.  But whilst ignoring him…post a song about love. like 3 doors down – here without you.

18.  When he sends you a live i.m on fb chat…sign out

19.  Write a status  that says “Young, happy and loving life ” do it after a day or night of ignoring or diverting his calls. Let him think your life’s moving on without him in it.

These things are a combination of disinterest and mixed signals…they’ll make him confused…you’ll be rare and consequently he’ll be less cocky when talking to you and more appreciative of your time, attention and affection, an “x” at the end of a message will come to mean ALOT!

Once upon a time…when I was younger with no principles to govern my behaviour…I cheated on my girlfriend…(LOADS of times, with about 15-20 different girls within the beginning)…but I didn’t see it as cheating…Honestly I saw it as a sport…seduction was my thing, I studied about it and I implemented many theories learnt and got positive results. Seduction was my passion….but in my heart…my girlfriend was my wife, and somehow what i felt for her had nothing whatsoever to do with what i did with other girls. Anyway, she went through my fone one day…and found a txt message from another girl…she politely became distant and began to do many of the things on this list i’ve given to you…it drove me insane! In the absence of her affection and attention…I fell in love with her over again.  I walked from where I live to where she lives (a 2hour and 30 mins walk) just so I could think and hopefully see her in her area. It doesn’t make sense…i know…but I was obsessed with the same woman I had been taking for granted. But why??…you may ask…

It would seem the fire of desire rages most in the absence of the thing desired and in the presence of a fear of losing the thing desired, forever.

Water is good, but too much of it can drown a person. You are the source of water….your disinterest is his desert. Your attention, affection, presence…these things should be to him as water to a man lost in a desert…not enough to completely quench his thirst but just enough to refresh him and leave him wanting more on his journey to find a way out of your desert into your fertile oasis, your secret garden…there’s not enough of you available to him to waste or take for granted…or even share with others. There’s only enough of you for him.

Believe it or not, some guys desire to share one female with their friends…But he’ll want you all for himself!

-Jeff Uguru

According to his recollection during this process her libido was extremely heightened,  so much that on an occassion ( by his account) she couldnt walk  until she was ‘relieved’. (I’ve never heard that before either).  So his wish was granted and although she didn’t continue the process of finding a ’side-dish’, they agreed that it would be alright for her to flirt with her men, to keep the fire going.

       There exists the moral  concept of whatever happens in the bedroom of a husband and wife is alright if they have agreed on it. As well, there exists those who would consider this  morally illegal adultery.  In the words of the great Arsenio Hall ”Things that make you go hmmmm”.

I immitate a few different women, but the one I most often immitate, at least in my fantasies is an old friend of mine named lauryn.  She actually knows about me doing this, and she finds my interest to be interesting, despite the fact that she feels I should see a sexual therapist.  Lauryn is a beautiful women, as of right now she is 24, and we have a strange relationship.  Lauryn caught me emailing females as her name, which is how she discovered this interest of mine, I mean I had to explain myself, and I explained everything to her.

The first thing that I explained to Lauryn was obviously the fantasy, but I also explained to her that is was her beauty that made the fantasy even better.  I mean, if I could live in her shoes for a day to live out these fantasies, I would, even if it meant coming back and losing 90% of my money.

Lauryn has the look of a 20 year old woman, and has had that look since she was 18.  She tans regularly, yet has smooth skin.  She has the perfect golden brown tan that every woman wants, and every man drools over.  She has black silky hair, hazel eyes, luscious and perky breasts (34C), a nice butt, and the rest of her body, slim and slender.  I would probably fantasize about sleeping with her, if I wasn’t so caught up in the fantasy of me being a woman and sleeping with another woman.

Other women that I imitate are often other female friends of mine, random women that I see in public, or sometimes, even the women that I have previously spoken with.  Something is wrong with me, and I understand and accept that, I just don’t know how to fix it.

About me

I am a 26 year old man, single, and for the sake of my professional life I have to keep myself anonymous.  I have an unusual sexual desire, that I believe many men do not have, although, parts of it, many men have….

Like any man, I have a very high sex-drive and the thought of two women having any type of contact that could possibly be sexual most certainly arouses me.  What is it that makes my fantasies so unique.  Most of the time when I find myself fantasizing about a woman, I picture myself too, being a woman.  Certainly I am not going to go out and get a sex change;  I can’t afford one and even if I could, I would not want to embarrass my family, nor do I trust them to do a 100% change.  Not to mention, being a woman is far more difficult than being a man.  I suppose I only want to be a woman when it comes to having sexual contact with a woman.

Most people would think that this is pretty stupid and that even if I was a women, I would only be able to have this sexual contact with a woman if she too was into women.  I am friends with a lot of females, very close friends in fact, and a lot of them have at least fooled around with a female in one way or another despite them having what they consider a heterosexual orientation.  I believe that women by nature, not all but a lot, are attracted to women as well for a variety of reasons that are way out of my scope of knowledge.  Not only do I believe this, but because of what I do to fulfill my fantasies (More on that later), I know that this is at least somewhat true.

In the Beginning

You might ask what got me started on all these thoughts.  Well I believe part of it is the lesbian porn that often looked at when I first discovered pornography and the changes that were occurring in my body.  Some of it I also think pertains to a night I had at a friend’s house that was at the time, out of the ordinary to me.  That night explained:

I spent the night at a friend’s house, who will remain anonymous, and that friend had a sister, we’ll car her Susan.  Susan had a few friends that found me very attractive, and I too, found them attractive.  I made it a goal one night to try to sleep with one of them, and of course, alcohol was going to be involved to get everyone relaxed.  After a little bit of drinking, two of Susan’s friends started kissing.  The second that I saw the beauty of these two girls kissing I just wanted to see more.  I didn’t even car about the sex anymore, all I cared about was those two displaying what I found to be the most beautiful thing in the world.  The two of them liked me, and they gave into exactly what I wanted.  I wanted to watch them shower together.  The two girls did it, and it looked like such a natural thing, as they cleaned each-other’s soft bodies.  I was satisfied at this point, despite not even having an orgasm, because to me, I just witnessed the most beautiful thing in the world.

I believe that moment is what started it all.  Although today, the fantasies are a lot more sexual than just a shower, many being very sexual in nature, while at the same time, something that pornography could not mimic.  How do I fulfill these fantasies without being a female you might ask.  Well that’s where Psychologists would probably be interested in studying this behavior.  My fantasies are completed via the internet.

The right and the wrong

What I do is a little bit messed up, and I understand that, agree with that, and often times feel bad for it.  I talk to females online as a female.  It doesn’t just end there though, I also talk to them on the phone, and the conversation isn’t always sexual.  In fact, I enjoy just having a regular conversation with them sometimes.  You’re probably wondering how I talk to them on the phone if I sound like a man, and the truth is, I wanted to do this so bad, that I made a program that actually alters my voice, and it makes me sound like a previous love interest that I once had.  It can only alter my voice though, and if someone else came into a room and said something to me, I would probably have trouble covering it up.

There’s more to it than that though.  A lot of these women don’t claim to have any sexual interest in a female at all.  That’s part of what turns me on.  I can generally talk to them in a certain way, a way in which most women wouldn’t feel comfortable with a man talking to them (or maybe they would and I am just all wrong) and it’s almost like they fall in love with me.  I generally target females aged 22 – 26, what I consider a date-able range for myself, but I have also spoken to women a little bit over the age of 30.

“The breakup?”

Generally, this can’t go on forever, but I don’t necessarily get caught, but rather give in and tell them the truth.  This is the part that makes me feel so guilty.  I get different reactions too…a wide variety.  Sometimes, due to the nature of our conversations, they still want to meet me, because they feel they still love me as a man, despite the fact that they fell in love with me as a woman.  Some just flat out don’t say anything and immediately stop talking to me.  Others get very upset, as if their relationship is coming to an end.  The outcomes are always different, and the conversations between these women is always a little different.

For the rest of the blog, I will post things involving my current “love” interests.  This way you can understand everything and study me.  Maybe I will be diagnosed with something new.  Maybe you’ll discover something new that is unique only to me.  Just understand that you will probably discover something…..

Gender Psychology And Hooking Up With Women

Do you know enough about gender psychology and how it affects you? What exactly is sexual impulse and why does it create desire? What two phases of these impulses exists in gender psychology and how to use this information? And the psychological affects of the sexual impulse on the woman? These are the questions that are about to be answered in the following article.

Sexual impulse is really a combination of physiological and psychological triggers working in complete harmony with the person experiencing it, and indirectly by sending signals to the nervous system. Such factors of influence include, but are not limited to the five senses. However gender psychology plays a large role as well.

For example, like a moth, scent is used in the form of pheromones that connect the scent to sexual excitation. This sexual excitation, turned into a sexual impulse, is what leads the male to seek the female with the chemical releasing of these pheromones. That is why the scent of a woman can drive a man crazy, overriding logical reaction to sexual impulse.

Regardless of being male or female, you have made a neurological association of pleasure attached directly to physical touch, and ultimately sex. This is what turns the physiological reaction of sexual excitation into the sexual impulse, influenced by the gender psychology.

Sexual impulse leading into desire really is nothing more than an extension of the childhood neurological association of pleasure, even the emotional connection of a loving feeling, to the physical touch. This started from the warmth and protection of your mother’s womb, to the loving arms of parental hugs, holding hands with your first loving attraction, and so forth. Due to gender psychology, men bond physically to this, women bond emotions to the physical action.

There are two phases in a sexual impulse; but, instead of being unrelated, or only distantly related, we see that they are really so intimately connected as to form two distinct stages in or of the same process.

The first stage is usually under the parallel influence of internal and external stimuli such as images, desires, and ideals formulated within the mind. These can be conscious or unconscious. Then the person generally is charged with energy and the person’s sexual organ congests with blood, a normal physiological reaction.

The second stage involves the sexual organ then discharging amid profound sexual excitement, complimented by intense physical stimuli, then followed by deep organic relief. Otherwise known as an orgasm.

It is of course by the first process that produces the tension in which the second process relieves. The first, taking on usually a more active form in the male, has the double affect of bringing the male himself into the condition in which discharge becomes imperative.

At the same time arousing in the female a similar ardent state of emotional excitement and sexual stimuli by the engorging of the her sexual organ. The second process has the task, directly, of discharging the tension thus produced and, indirectly, of effecting the act by which the race is propagated. In other word, that means that the orgasm is physiologically meant to release that sexual tension, while the process also has the side effect of creating life.

Mother nature is kind of tricky, huh! Knowing that the need to release sexual tension by performing the act of sex will also ensure the propagation of the human race, unless manually prohibited, by pill, condom, etc.

What does it all mean? How does it help you hook up with women?

My attempt, although perhaps too clinical, is to have you understand the underlying states that produce the sexual impulse for the purpose of you understanding that it is not just a physical draw, but a psychological connection made from a neurological connection, as well as emotional association.

For men, it simply implies that the reason for The Hunt is not only to gain pleasurable experience through sex, but it is the means necessary to relieve the physiological desire to release the pent up tension that is an automatic response created automatically by the object of his desire. You can’t help yourselves for wanting sex, more so the release of that created tension.

But for women, The Hunt is no only for the above experience as for men, but also an emotional need due to gender psychology. The issue here then becomes, that in order to be successful, you have to get through the woman’s gate keeper. Get through her emotional guard.

Knowing that women are emotionally blocking your efforts, you only need to find the keys to unlock that gate to get to the physiological animal she hides inside! Catching on?

This is the hardest part for you men. No doubt about it. Because here is the final secret to your success: you have to present yourself as the strong and virile man that will fulfill her first emotional blockage of finding a protector and provider (whether that is your intention or not) and then break her other emotional gates down by loving physical contact and connecting conversation.

Contact such as touching her shoulder, touching the back of her hand or better yet holding her hand, and the ultimate, if you can get away with it, to fit some hugs in there too. This enforces the protector, but more than that, re-constitutes her neurological association of love through physical contact.

Get past her emotional gate guardians, and it is all too easy to produce the sexual impulse within her. And this is just the physical side of the communication! Further, it has only scratched the surface!

In order to really get this to work, you need to utilize almost hypnotic verbal communication. Which means you really need to understand gender psychology.

******************************************

If you find yourself scratching your head wondering – what the hell is she talking about? Then you may need an easier solution.

Seems like too much work? Do it the Internet easy way then…

http://venusormars.com/cybergirls

Forget about all that gender psychology. But, things dealing with psychology usually include a couch…just saying…

Maybe you should learn more about gender psychology and how to use it to hook up with women.

all wish I was tagging their ass like I’m taggin  this one

Girls Dem Sugar  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lmDbbvv0-Q

Deidre. I re-met her at the high school reunion. Nice tall Blondie jewish girl, now a married woman with two kidlets. I hadn’t seen her for 20 years, but she hadn’t changed much… physically. Her narrow equine face had a pronounced snout offset by piercing blue eyes and thin lips. Her slender body was now enhanced by a healthy set of tits that didn’t appear 2 have much sag on them. She had picked up a couple of inches in the waist, and found and ass somewhere along the line. Not a bad looking package for a 40 year old. Mentally, well that’s a whole nother thang. Deidre had changed a whole lot. I remember her as a shy, quiet girl, who like to chew the eraser of her pencil. A reserved girl that avoided eye contact, wouldn’t say anything unless you spoke to her, and even then kept her talking to a minimum. Our senior year I had pushed a kiss on her in science class when we were there early and all alone and she had crashed to the floor. When I went to pick her up and she bolted away. Heck, I think that meant she wasn’t feeling me. So it was left at that. I was drinking martinis and talking with Shaina, another busty blond Classmate, and a state judge, before Deidre set upon me. Shaina and I had succumb to a lil fling at the last reunion that ended badly after her then lawyer husband hired private detectives to follow her one evening. That night we met at an airport hotel bar, as she plan to leave the following morning on vacation to visit her sister, and were downing shots of expensive single malt scotch. We were in each others arms, groping, kissing and clinging, unaware that pictures were being taken. If the night at the hotel bar was good, the night in the hotel room went even better We had another couple join us in playing out some carnal fantasies. i.e- girl on girl action, and me dominating another male to do our bidding. We raped his wife in front of him, then had him sucking cock and eating pussy while getting spanked. Yup, all was good with the world. The next day as she boarded a plane to visit her sister, hubby text her with pictures taken at the bar from the night before. BUSTED. Shaina had a lousy week long vacation. She became numb and despondent that he was threatening to leak that a very popular white judge, married with two kids was having an affair with a “black” man unless his demands were met. She called me like every friggin day crying, and every day I logically reassured her the guy was totally bluffing. I mean, break it down, it’s total bullshit. The guy is a prominent lawyer. The last thing he wants or needs is a stain on his reputation that some ‘black’ guy was stone cold boning his adorable wife like a two bit whore. If details were to come out that her sedition which had been ongoing for about a year, included swingers clubs and orgies, he’d be bankrupt professionally.. done, finis. In other words, he’s not going to leak shizznit. He had more to lose. Finally it got through to her. Also I had to lie/promise to stick with her through the mess. Armed with that knowledge Shaina returned home with a misappropriated but workable vengeance. By re-bluffing that she didn’t care if he went public because she wanted the affair out in the open to clear her conscience (yeah, as if any woman has one), he put his tail between his legs and pleaded Nolo Contendere to a divorce, and she got the house, the kids, the cars, the dog and all his dreams. So Shaina and I were amidst a plethora of laughter as we reminisced over the pain and the pleasures when Deidra appeared on our horizon introducing herself with an inviting smile. Girls, dem sugar

Long Cool Woman   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5Fq2SCxNP4

She was wearing a long sleek black dress, that hung low and deviously tempted one to to take a good look at that more than ample bosom. The fabric of the dress was enticingly strained thin in that area. As we exchanged greetings and remembrances I noticed a sparking in those deep blue eyes and the biting of her lower lip in between sentences when she looked at me. There was also a sheen of dampness over her upper lip. The girl was fiending for my cock after only an hour into the reunion and that was goving me a woody. That kiss way back when, when she ran out of the room. Maybe I interpreted it wrong. Maybe she was just young then, and it floored her. It looked like she had been waiting a long time for this rendezvous. Shaina could tell what was going on and shot me quizzical glances in between half smiles. When one wasn’t staring at the bulge in my pants, the other was. Keeping the pretense of conviviality up, they summarized their life’s journeys, kids and all, with Shaina thankfully leaving me out of hers. Shaina looked at me and raised her empty glass, so I offered to get all of us drinks. I smacked Deidre on the ass, commenting “looking good back there babes” and headed for the bar. I was at the bar with my wing man T-Lock who I had come to the party with, discussing the possibilities. T-Lock is a heavily muscled bouncer who has worked the Boston scene for over ten years, he’s seen and been involved in every sexual hookup possible, it comes with the territory. A situation was developing where there were two girls and one of me. Shaina might block the Deidre action if not handled right. We were discussing probable scenarios with the two blondes when Deidre showed up, solo. “I didn’t know if you knew what I like to drink, so I thought i better come over” she said. yeah, sure… the girl moves quick that’s for sure. I reacquainted her with T-Lock, heck we had all been in the same grade since our freshman year and graduated together. I looked around to see what had happen to Shaina and found that some classmate of ours, still a dork after 20 years, was making a run at her. Knowing how dorks go on and on about nothing, time was now a luxury.  I pointed out the heftiness of Deidre’s breasts to TLock and informed her that from now on I was going to call her double D or just DD. T-Lock laughed, DD smiled while biting her lower lip staring at me. T-Lock picked up on that, gave me a wink. He grabbed the drink that was for Shaina and said “Hey DD, where didja leave Shaney, cuz me and her have something important to discuss.” Dee pointed in to crowd somewhere and with that he was gone. During the small talk that ensued I pushed up on DD pretending to look at her eyes. The space between us was less than a inch, and I could sense her melting right in front of me. Then appropriately the band began to play a slow song, so I took her on the dance floor to grind. The reunion was being held at a Sheraton so of course the ballroom dance floor was huge with those big hypnotizing chandeliers. Shaina and T-Lock were already put there, the plan was working to perfection. Of course, that was a given because I had made Shaina’s drink a double, and she’s a fast drunk. During the dance I reached underneath DD hair to the back of head and pulled, she went breathless and limp against my body. I held the pull for a moment or two, then release. She gave a low moan and pushed her head into my chest. PAYDIRT. After the song we all met back up at the bar, and Shaina was using T-Lock’s arm for support, looking spacey and laughing at everything like she had ingested other drugs beside alcohol. It’s a fact that judges love to party. T-Lock said he was going outside to smoke a cigar grabbing Shainas arm, she stood her ground and turn to me. “Aren’t you guys coming” “Oh, yeah, i need a cigarette myself when I drink. I’m just gonna order another round for us all, we’ll bring it out to you.” Satisfied with that answer, she smiled and trotted away. I looked around the room as I finished my drink, just to make sure I had the best looking whore in the room. Satisfied that I did. Then I smacked Dee on the ass and said “c’mon”.

One of my kind   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZhHph4IOkc
We went out of the ball room, to the elevators. “I thought you wanted 2 go outside”? she asked. “Nah, babe, that was just to throw any nosey people off. You and me have a connection. You should have known exactly where we going.” I said. She laughed, “I knew you were one of my kind the minute I saw you tonight. I know Shaina wants you. But I don’t care a bit” She had told me she had a room there because she had traveled all the way from Florida. That was her excuse as to why she hadn’t come to any of the other reunions previous to now. In the elevator on the way up to her room, I reached to the back of her head and pulled again, She moaned and spread her legs. I soft smacked her across the face and her eyes flashed open. She reached down and began carressing my cock.I lightly slapped her again then gave her head a yank. Her pussy farted, she had wet herself. The elevator slowed as we reach her floor, I propped her up and she straighten her dress. Some of our classmates were getting on as we were getting off, all of us grinned while thinking lascivious thoughts of what the other was or was about to be doing. There was a small alcove adjacent to the elevator shaft. I pulled her into it. I reached between her legs to check my suspicion and sure enough, she had wet herself. I pulled out my cock, and pushed her down on her knees. She looked up at me, pseudo resisting, I slapped her harder this time and pulled her by the hair onto my cock. She went at it like a pig going after slop. Others were walking to and from the elevators, she didn’t stop. I reached up and disconnected the fluorescent light. It pays to be 6’5″. DD never stopped, she was paying homage to cock. She handled being on her knees so well one might have thought she was a good catholic girl. I started face fucking her. She gagged and went limp. My right foot, which was between her legs felt a warm liquid flow into the shoe. JeeeZus, I have a certified masochistic squirting whore. I pulled DD up, she licked her lips as I forced a kiss on her. I grabbed her hand. “Lets go” She led me to her room, once inside, she put the key down, and stood in front of the bed arms down, defenseless. I walked over to her while pulling my cock out, an evil smile on my face. I slapped her while staring into her eyes, then again with the back of my hand, she went limp and fell onto the bed. I reached under her dress and pulled her panty hose off. There was a glazed look to her, she was in the erotic exotic zone. I pulled her by the hair, positioning her doggy style, with her ass facing me. “Pull yer fucking cheeks open” she didn’t move. I slapped her ass hard. “reach behind you and pull yer fucking ass cheeks open” she dug her head into the bed for balance, reached them long arms back and peeled that ass back, nice and wide. That cunt was dripping, and the bouoyant bouquet of urine waft through the air. I lined the hole up, then rammed it in, slapping her ass every 3-4 strokes, she grunted like a pig. Her cunt exploded with cum every time i gave a hard thrust and reached the back of it. Pretty soon the whole back of her was glistening with wetness. I grabbed the back of her head and pull it toward me, this forced her to go limp. I then pulled my cock out her pussy and positioned it to go in her ass. She tried to resist a bit, removing her hands from her ass, so I pulled on her head harder. “Open that fucking ass bitch”She gasped, reached back and gaped it. As I pushed the cock in her ass, I pulled her hair to paralyze her. Within ten strokes I had the whole cock in. “Where’s my fuckin cock DD, where’s that fuckin cock” she was gurgling something unintelligible until I released her head a bit. “It’s in my ass, OMG, it’s deep in my ass”, Yeah it’s in yer ass you fucking whore, and you love it doncha” “Oh god I luv it, I luv how yer fuckin me, treating me like such a whore” I fucked her ass hard, while slapping it red until I came in it. There she was, ass up, face down, toes curled. Cum dripping out of her asshole. Her blond hair tousled over her face and her that long black dress cinched up to her waist. I stuffed my cock back in my pants, and zipped them up.  “I’ll meet you back at the bar, and like, (I gave her ass a parting shot) hurry the fuck up eh” . I turn to walk away, and as I did I could see a smile under that blonde hair. She didn’t move at all, transformed into another person and transfixed into another dimesion.  Crazy bitch.

Dude http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nkTiXkUC3U

Something about the whole freaky shebang was getting me spiked again.  I’m just that kind of dude…WICKED. Getting laid just makes me want more and more. As I walked out the door, I couldn’t help hoping that T-Lock was finished banging Shaina. As I was getting a serious hankering for her now. Jeez, I’m so debauched, it’s in my mind that if I could just find the room, heck I could join in. Haahaaahaaa. Even better was knowing that Shaina would love being shagged by the both of us. It’s what she loves, it’s what she craves. I left DD’s room, searching for Shaina’s. But thats another story

“That Thang“  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHVzvKyiwi4
There ain’t no reason for a man to get married, he won’t get more than he already has, if anything he’ll get less. He getting ‘that thang’, as Lauren Hill would put it, but he doesn’t understand he already has “that thang”. See,  a man gets married because he believes in something. He believes in something so strongly that he is ready to sacrifice himself for it. Now this ‘something’ he believes in is innate to men, but foreign to women. Men are so full of this ‘something’ that they cannot see that women are devoid of this ‘thang‘. Women know they do not have this “thang” and often hate men for being oblivious to this gift they have in their possession. I must point out, for those who haven’t figured it out, that this “something” is synonymous with having this “thang“. Right now, men are scratching their heads, but women have an idea of where this is going, doncha. Men, the ‘thang‘ that you have is the belief in GOOD. Yep, a big revelation right? From nerdy lil guys to big dumb jocks, men have an innate belief in good. Right defeating wrong, the virtuous conquering the heathen. This same belief in good also sets him up as a pawn to any nationalistic or religious ideology, but thats another story. Women do no have this something, this good, this “Thang“. Didja know that. They have a big hole in their hearts where this ‘thang‘ is supposed to be. They do believe in things working out for the good, but the good is THEM. That good is that THEY get what they want, and convince their sucker partner that it is good for them also. Example#1. I’m a cocktail waitress, your a rich man. It would be a great idea for us to get married. If you don’t believe so you’re an asshole. Example#2 I’m fresh out of college, one hundred thousand dollars in debt with school loans, and you are too,  but lets move in together (which means hopefully I’ll get knocked up) leading to marriage and kids, and while we are at it, BUY A HOUSE.  Yeah MORE debt. But i love you honey so you working the REST of your life to make ends meet for us IS a good idea. Example#3 I’m a married woman with three kids, I met you on a cruise I went on with my girlfriends, we had wild sex. Now I want to leave my husband for you, if you won’t take me on, because i’m in love with you, you’re an asshole. Getting the  general idea. None of these scenarios is good for the man. At best they are only good for her, but…., he’s an asshole if her rejects these overtures as total bullshit. Hell, there are many more. But in all of them, the good at best, concerns the happiness of one person. HER. This “thang” that the man possesses supposes the good must be for ALL, and he can be secondary initially to make it all work out. See the difference. See the conflict. The “thang” that men possess that women do not is an innocence, a light. Women often label it stupidity. They sense it, and it disturbs them, it pushes them out of their natural orbit. They don’t don’t know what to make of it. secretly they want it, and because they cannot have it, sometimes they hate it. Theres a hole in their hearts this “thang” of his supposed to fill
The Hole/Pain In Their Hearts  -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUXgL_LxUnM-

Now to some, mostly men, this is gobbledygook. To others, mostly women, this is ghastly revealing. It is something they have sensed but could not put into words. This is also just the beginning. This hole in their hearts torments and tortures them. They know that love is supposed to be there, and it’s not. They try to fill it with an animals love, jewelry, handbags, clothes, shoes. This emptiness morphs into every other issue that will come to affect them. Their NEED of a man to save them from themselves. Sounds medieval, even chauvenists right. Here’s the funny part… its every womans dream, even the so called liberated woman. the real kicker to this whole dilenma ,men have no idea of how to save them or that there IS even a conflict.  So in a marriage, after she has tempted him to marry her, she now becomes unsatisfied with this bitch made man. Cause he won’t stand up and be a man. So she challenges him to confront and control her. She’ll talk down on him trying to incite him to rise up. She’ll lie to him daring him to call her on it. She’ll cry in an attempt to harden his heart to her. Finally she’ll cheat on him to demean him into growing.  She must change him from that Innocent Being, she must corrupt him into selfishness in order to have a partner, an ally, a person she can ‘trust’. Ahhhh. Isn’t this great. That’s why women love bad boys. He’s narcissistic, selfish, materialistic and demanding…just like her. Here is someone she can relate to, and even learn from. He can treat her like shit because he knows that she is empty without him. He doesn’t put her on a pedestal, why she’s not even on the same level as him. A woman knows this inside anyway. Haahaaahaaa. Didn’t kno that didja good guys. a woman ‘loathes’ you for putting her on a pedestal. It just show yer lack of belief in yerself, yer insecurity. You have put her in the position of not being yer woman, but yer mother. You don’t deserve her and that’s why she tortures the hell into you. That’s right, INTO YOU, ya lil punk. But most of you can’t grow up and become men, but ya get mad at us guys who fuck yer girls. When heck, we’re doing you a favor.

The Weakness of Men  -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHVzvKyiwi4-

Now for all of you married guys, or guys living with a girl. I’ve just described your scenario. See it crystallized for me a week into my marriage. But I had already knocked the lilbitch up, all 90lbs of her. Yep, she might have been small in mass, but as all of us married guys have found out, a lil woman can kick ass. It took me ten years to get rid of her. She had the world on a string, and I was miserable. Icut that string and got out unscathed, now I’m happy and she’s miserable. So guys and girls what I’m saying is that it’s time to change all of this, and guys its really on us. Growing to be a man is a tough thang. But our women need us, they need us to quell the demons that rage inside and threaten to engulf them. They need a strong man not a weak one. She needs you to step up and take control. What kind of man are you if you let yer woman drive the car. oops, most of you weak men do that. Take the GODDAMN car and drive it. I don’t care if its hers, take it. Women get trapped in what ever portal they enter. Greed, sex, control, accoutrement’s. You ain’t doing them any favors by letting them enter into things without your supervision. The emptiness in them delivers them to the dark side. So men, into order to save them and still retain that lite, that innocence, you must be strong. You must know your enemy and what it takes to defeat them. The enemy is not yer woman, it’s your weakness for her. She coos and you give in, she whines and you give in, she pushes out a tear and you roll over. She might want that sort of, but secretly inside she doesn’t and she’ll hate you for being such a punk. If you need her more than she needs you, she doesn’t need you does she???. So for all of you guys in a relationships let the education began, some of you will catch on, some have no freakin idea of anything I’ve said.

Some get it, Most won’t

I was out with the recently re-met up with classmate from high school, as I’ve chronicled. . Now she’s still married and all, but she flew me down to Fla. and put me up in hotel for a week cuz i TOLD her to. She’s perplexed that the overwhelming majority of men do not see women as they are. I tried to tell her most men are scarred in childhood from their mothers. They can’t help women cause their mothers used them in their crusade against their dads. Married or divorced. Haaahaaahaa. It goes something like this. “your dad is an asshole. He won’t do this or that, he’s stuck in his ways, or he won’t settle downblah, blah blah. If only he would <fill in the blank>, then I wouldn’t be so <take yer pick> angry, bitchy, mean or  have to lie. I told her that most guys are so brainwashed by their moms that we both could sit down and tell them the truth about waht women want and they wouldn’t believe it. One night, at a bar, we were sitting next to a guy complaining about his girlfriend. She won’t do this, or that in bed. She’s moody, lazy, overbearing, bossy. She “didn’t feel like going out with him tonight”. When last nite she hooted up the town with her girlfriends. Moan after groan. So Blondie looked at me, and gave me a nudge to help him out. So I ran it down to him that he needed to take charge, tell her what, how and when about everything he wants, and if she couldn’t handle it, roll the fuck out. Bitches are a dime a dozen, and they need cock twice as much as you need pussy. My bitch even earnestly chipped in and told him so. His eyes twirled in his head, he stammered and stuttered trying to make sense of it. It look like smoke was coming out of his ears, ya know like when a robot becomes confused by emotion in a movie and sparks come flying out of it while it repeats “That does not compute, that does not compute”.  He just kept shaking his head and saying “One day she’ll come around”. Then he paid his bill and left. Blondie looked at me and gestured with her palms open, ” What happen”. I said “I tried to tell you honey. Every girl can be a woman, but not every boy can be a man. Some get it, but most won’t”.