Perchè, alla fine, è sempre a Me che devo tornare.

Là, nel punto esatto da cui partii.

Un cerchio il viaggio, una spirale l’andare e il ritornare.

Da ogni viaggio, porto con me la Perla e scarto il fango.

—–

SONO UNA DONNA

Nessuno può immaginare
quel che dico quando me ne sto in silenzio
chi vedo quando chiudo gli occhi
come vengo sospinta quando vengo sospinta
cosa cerco quando lascio libere le mani.
Nessuno, nessuno sa
quando ho fame quando parto
quando cammino e quando mi perdo,
e nessuno sa
che per me andare è ritornare
e ritornare è indietreggiare,
che la mia debolezza è una maschera
e la mia forza è una maschera,
e quel che seguirà è una tempesta.

Credono di sapere
e io glielo lascio credere
e  avvengo.

Hanno costruito per me una gabbia affinché la mia libertà
fosse una loro concessione
e ringraziassi e obbedissi.
Ma io sono libera prima e dopo di loro,
con loro e senza loro
sono libera nella vittoria e nella sconfitta.
La mia prigione è la mia volontà!
La chiave della mia prigione è la loro lingua
ma la loro lingua si avvinghia intorno alle dita del mio
desiderio
e il mio desiderio non riusciranno mai a domare.

Sono una donna.
Credono che la mia libertà sia loro proprietà
e io glielo lascio credere
e avvengo.

Jumana Haddad

•

L’immagine è di Shirin Neshat, artista iraniana, sotto l’immagine Chaos of Paradise, un dono prezioso.

Här är det råttjakt morgon, middag och kväll tror jag. Herr Katt har minsann släpat in en levande råtta till mej i kväll. Snäll kisse, ger matte lite käk. Verkar inte alls uppskatta när jag tjoar och härjar. Massor med råttor ute när det är sånt här väder tydligen, och inte vill jag ju ha in dom. Men herr Katt har andra tankar om det tydligen!

Annars är jag mest mätt, belåten och trött. Har vräkt i mig massor med kyckling med jordnötssås, slöat med familjen (jagat råtta) och promenerat med mr Hund. Mr Hunds ben verkar hålla ihop fortfarande, tre veckor och tre dagar sedan något smärtsamt inträffade. Banne mej nästan så man räknar timmarna också. Benskyddet sitter på dagtid fortfarande, men nu får han lite större frihet när vi är ute – något han är riktigt tacksam över!

Vågade mig på spikmattan igår, trots vaccination några dagar tidigare, och det verkar ju ha gått vägen. Inga allvarliga krämpor har uppstått! Så nu får det bli en stund på den igen! Vaccinationsköerna verkar annars skapa en smärre panik kan man läsa i Expressen, folk både stjäl vaccin och bråkar i köerna.

Comincia oggi in Nepal una delle piu’ importanti feste religiose durante la quale oltre 300000 animali vengono sacrificati. Il Gadhimai festival, durante il quale si venera la dea della potenza, ha visto il via stamattina alle 2.45 a Bariyapur, nella parte meridionale del Nepal, con l’inizio dell’arrivo di milioni di devoti provenienti anche dall’India. Ma anche la presenza di attivisti animalisti che protestano. Ad aprire il festival religioso, il ministro della salute nepalese Umakanta Chaudhri che ha raggiunto il tempio vecchio di 260 anni dedicato a Gadhimai, per dare inizio al festival. Non senza polemiche. A parte quelle sulla sicurezza, visto che il Nepal da settimane registra problemi a causa degli ex ribelli maoisti, a tenere banco sono le polemiche animaliste. Attivisti per i diritti degli animali di tutto il mondo, tra i quali Brigitte Bardot, hanno scritto al presidente nepalese chiedendo la fine della festa e, soprattutto, della mattanza degli animali. ”Personalmente trovo difficile da immaginare – ha scritto la Bardot al presidente nepalese Ram Baran Yadav – che il suo cuore possa approvare questa crudelta’, sapendo che lei, essendo il capo di un paese, e’ anche responsabile della cosa”. Almeno 40000 bufali, arrivati principalmente dall’India, saranno sacrificati insieme a molti altri animali nel piu’ grande sacrificio animale di tutto il mondo. Dinanzi al tempio stamattina, anche attivisti di organizzazioni animaliste nepalesi e indiane che manifestavano contro i sacrifici di massa degli animali. Il governo nepalese si e’ lavato le mani, rispondendo agli attivisti di non avere il potere di fermare la festa religiosa. Il ”piccolo Buddha”, Ram Bahadur Bomjan, il giovane che ha meditato nella foresta per settimane senza mangiare ne’ muoversi, ha meditato nei pressi del tempio di Gadhimai per chiedere la fine del massacro, cosi’ come maestri e monaci tibetani che hanno recitato mantra (preghiere buddiste) intorno al tempio. Oltre 1100 agenti di polizia sono stati dispiegati in zona per evitare scontri. La festa di Gadhimai si celebra ogni cinque anni nella citta’ di Bariyapur. Fino a 500000 animali vengono sacrificati da 250 ’sgozzatori’ autorizzati. I primi animali ad essere sacrificati son i bufali, seguiti poi da capre, pecore, polli, piccioni ed anche topi. Circa 5 milioni di fedeli sono attesi alla festa, la maggior parte dei quali provenienti dall’India. La tradizione vuole che nei due giorni della festa, vengano sacrificati animali alla dea della potenza, assetata di sangue. Su internet si trovano video, ma sono troppo cruenti per me da postare.

The latest can to be kicked around the jazz blogosphere (and beyond) is what records make the cut as the best of the decade.

As much as we enjoy the opportunity to reminisce about our first seven-plus years in business, and the 135 recordings we promoted for our clients in that span, we’re not quite ready to dip a toe in that nearly bottomless pool just yet.

But, we’re more than happy to shine a light on the recordings we promoted for our clients in 2009 (in order of their release).

Hopefully at least a few of these will end up on your year’s best list or at least your list for Santa.

David S. Ware
Shakti (AUM Fidelity)

Gerald Cleaver/William Parker/Craig Taborn
Farmers By Nature (AUM Fidelity)

The Ayn Inserto Jazz Orchestra
Muse (Creative Nation Music)

Garrison Fewell
Variable Density Sound Orchestra (Creative Nation Music)

Darcy James Argue’s Secret Society
Infernal Machines (New Amsterdam Records)

Michael Musillami Trio + 3
From Seeds (Playscape Recordings)

The Fully Celebrated
Drunk On The Blood Of The Holy Ones (AUM Fidelity)

John Hébert
Byzantine Monkey (Firehouse 12 Records)

Carl Maguire’s Floriculture
Sided Silver Solid (Firehouse 12 Records)

Joe Morris/Petr Cancura/Luther Gray
Wildlife (AUM Fidelity)

KLANG
Tea Music (Allos Documents)

Taylor Ho Bynum & SpiderMonkey Strings
Madeleine Dreams (Firehouse 12 Records)

Fay Victor Ensemble
The FreeSong Suite (Greene Avenue Music)

Fonda/Stevens Group
Memphis (Playscape Recordings)

Harris Eisenstadt
Canada Day (Clean Feed)

Darius Jones Trio
Man’ish Boy (AUM Fidelity)

Joe Morris Quartet
Today On Earth (AUM Fidelity)

Jessica Pavone
Songs Of Synastry And Solitude (Tzadik)

Bill Dixon
Tapestries For Small Orchestra (Firehouse 12 Records)

A girl steps out.

A man experiences loving affection.

Another, lustful thoughts.

Yet another, pride.

An older person experiences tender feeling of paternal affection.

Another, a cosmetics seller, greed.

A girl experiences feeling of friendship.

Another, jealousy.

A child, reminded of her grumpy elder cousin, feels nervous.

Another, reminded of his mother, feels secure.

A bhakta sees yet another manifestation of devi shakti that pervades everything, continues to experience devotional joy.

A jnani sees the eternal play of creation, remains centered.

Many perceptions, many reactions.

maya

Oftmals kaufe ich im Internet einfach Platten auf gut Glück. Okay, da ist schon ein Schema dabei. In dem Fall kannte ich natürlich John McLaughlin. Aber wer Shakti ist, wusste ich nicht. Also mal einfach die Platte mit anderen Scheiben gekauft. So Vorgehen vernetzt die Synapsen ja am besten neu. Bin echt begeistert von der Musik.

Coole Hippimusik mit Anspruch.

Om Sathguru Sri Seshadri Swamigal Thiruvadikkae

Disciple:

Is mantra a Vibration?

Master:

It is energy, or Shakti (Sheathe). When we repeat a mantra for a considerable length of time, we accumulate energy (Universal energy), which in turn makes the mantra more and more powerful.

When our Guru’s mantra, “OM SATHGURU SRI SESHADRI SWAMIGAL THIRUVADIKKAE”, is transmitted to someone else, it usually creates an immediate effect on the person who receives it because of its accumulated power. When we dwell constantly on any thought, eventually our entire being will become permeated with that thought, and mantra is the most potent kind of thought.

In the evening, I, Taraka and her daughter Gayatri left to see a dance programme at her sister’s daughter’s school. Though we couldn’t stay for long, we made sure that we were present for a few minutes to encourage the little kid and left for Birla Mandir.

After parking the car at a nearby place, we headed towards Birla Mandir. By this time I had come to know how chaotic the traffic in Hyderabad is. People had scant respect for the traffic rules and I was feeling like driving in some maddening crowd.

The steps leading to the temple and small shops along the steps were bustling with tourists. Shops were making brisk business and tourists were busy buying articles.

As it was weekend, the crowd was huge. We had to keep our phones and camera in the cloak room. We went to the temple and Taraka was excited to show the place where she and jeeju had solemnized their wedding

Birla Mandir on the Naubath Pahad is a magnificent Hindu temple of Lord Venkateshwara, built of 2,000 tonnes of pure Rajasthani white marble. The Birla Foundation has constructed several similar temples in India.

The Birla Mandir was built by Raja Baldev Birla. In 1938, the temple was inaugurated by Mahatma Gandhi. Everyone was not given the permission to enter the premises of temples. Gandhi placed the condition that he would inaugurate the temple only if people belonging to all strata of the society were permitted to offer their prayers in the temple.

The architecture of the temple is a blend of South Indian, Rajasthani and Utkala temple architectures.

The tower over the main shrine reaches a height of 165 ft, whereas the towers over the shrines of Venkateshwara’s consorts, Padmavati and Andal reach a height of 116 ft. The presiding deity is about 11 ft tall and a carved lotus forms the umbrella on the roof. The consorts of Lord Venkateswara, Padmavati and Andal are housed in separate shrines. There is a brass flagstaff in the temple premises which rises to a height of 42 ft.

The temple is built on a 280 feet high hillock called the Naubath Pahad in 13 acres. The construction took 10 years and was consecrated in 1976 by Swami Ranganathananda of Ramakrishna Mission. The temple does not have traditional bells, as Swamiji wished that the temple atmosphere should be conducive for meditation.

Though the chief deity is Lord Venkateshwara, the temple has pan-Hindu character with deities of Shiva, Shakti, Ganesh, Hanuman, Brahma, Saraswati, Lakshmi and Saibaba. Selected teachings of holy men and Gurbani are engraved on temple walls.

There is also a shrine dedicated to Lord Buddha. Beautiful Fresco paintings, throwing light on the life and works of Buddha, adorn the walls of this temple. At the rear end of the temple, there is an artificial landscape with mountains and waterfalls.

The intricate carvings of the temple, the ceiling and the mythological figures are standing testimony to the dexterity and sculptural excellence of the craftsmen. Beautiful scenes from the great epics of Ramayana and Mahabharata are finely sculpted in marble. A number of lofty steps lead the visitor to the sanctum sanctorum. Along the winding path are many marble statues of gods and goddesses of Hindu mythology located in the midst of gardens.

The view from the highest level of the temple offers the viewer a spectacular view of the Hussain Sagar Lake, Andhra Pradesh Secretariat, Assembly and Birla Planetarium, the Public Gardens and Lumbini Park.

The temple is open between 7 am and 12 noon and between 3 pm and 9 pm.

We sat for a while there and discussed several issues before we left the place. By the time we reached the house, I had gone half mad, thanks to the traffic. Driving in Bangalore is not difficult, but elsewhere it is, for we are more disciplined and follow traffic rules at any cost. But in Hyderabad, it is the vice versa. People look at us strangely if we talk about traffic rules and discipline!

The greatest manifestation of Om or the holy Ghost as the Christians call it, is Hanumanji.  There never was and I suspect there will never be a greater manifestation.  He is the supreme ruler who effortlessly does all the work and is still alive.  Amazingly, Rama Bhagwan took samadhi, but his Guru Vasishtha Maharaj, his disciple Hanumanji and Ravanas brother Vibhishana are still alive. My guru from the subtle world, Vishnutirthji Maharaj told me a few weeks ago that his favorite verse in Sundarkanda by Tulsidaji was verse 54.  I have copied the meaning of the verses here.Each of these monkeys is as mighty as Sugriva (the king) and there are tens ofmillions like them; who can dare count them? By the grace of  Rama they areunequalled in strength and reckon the three spheres of creation as of no more accountthan a blade of grass. I have heard it said, Ravana, that the commanders of the variousmonkey-troops alone number eighteen thousand billions. In the whole host, my lord, thereis not a single monkey who would not conquer you in battle. They are all wringing theirhands in excess of passion; but the Lord of the Raghus does not order them (to march)…We shall suck the ocean dry with all its fish and serpents or fill it up with hugemountains. Nay, we shall crush the ten-headed Ravana and reduce him to dust.. Suchwere the words that all the monkeys uttered. Fearless by nature, they roared and bulliedas if they would devour.

This whole Shloka refers to the Hanumanji who is Om.  This is the universal prana which runs the entire universe and Hanumanji is the living embodiment of this universal prana.  The other ten million monkeys in the verse refers to the ten different kinds of Pranas in the body.  The ten pranas have tremendous power and under the supreme order of God (Rama), and the guidance of Hanumanji, they have the ability to destroy ego (Ravana).  The process whereby this happens is sucking the ocean dry (meaning sucking all the prana from the body and thus destroying all vices) and they fill up the mountain (referring to Sushumna).  At this time they have a very loud roar (which refers to one of the anahata nada) heard.  This is the sound of Om.  The word roar is used which is reminescent of the word used in the bible – Gods voice is likened to a thunder or roar.  It is the constant rumbling / roar heard as a symphony of music at the Agna chakra (or when fully everted – the manas chakra). 

This interpretation which I have given will be very difficult for anyone who has not experienced the manas chakra or the everted Agna chakra to understand.  To reiterate and speak in more plain words – at the Agna chakra, when one is fully surrendered with the ability to fully stay there without any reservation one begins to experience several things simultaneously.

1) A constant symphony of music that is very endearing.  At the apex of the symphony is a constant roar the sound of undifferentated Om

2) With more perseverance one begins to realize that this roar or soun is Shakti, the holy ghost, Hanumanji or the universal prana that controls and runs the entire universe.

3) This universal prana or holy Ghost runs solely at the Will of God. 

4) The best sadhaka has no personal wish but to merge his wish into the supreme Will of God. 

This is the beginning of Sankalpa Shakti.  This is the beginning of conquering dreams.  At this stage, one goes beyond certain Mantras or the automatic recital of certan shlokas or mantras. 

An habitual pilgrim to the island of Maui,  Maia is a new media designer in New York when she’s not at home.  Her full name is Maia Marinelli, which I only found out after a very interesting discussion about how sailing helps you to comprehend the nature of reality.

She grew up in a sailing family in Sardinia (correct me if I’m wrong) and began sailing comptetitively as a little kid.  She said what it teaches you is that some things are bigger than you.  When this big thing has you in its grip, the best solution is to relax and let it take you.  You can dance with nature, but if you try and make yourself bigger than the cosmos, you’ll get destroyed.  The trick is to play with instead of playing against.

Maya is the Sanskrit name of the great illusion that we are all playing.  Patanjali’s philosophy rejected the illusion and set the goal of return to the pure essence of spirit (Purusha) at the expense of the restless mutability of the manifested world (Prakrti).  Of course it’s possible to become totally obsessed with Prakrti and lose the essence of spirit, which is clearly not the point of Yoga so we won’t even go into it.

Eventually later Yoga philosophers (the Tantrics) became interested in engineering the perfect union of Shakti and Shiva (Prakrti and Purusha) through ritual and self control.  Great idea!  That is to say, I am a tiny droplet of the Universal consciousness encased in a body, and my role in this incarnation is to play this body as perfectly as it is possible for me to play it.  The waves of Maya engulf me, are bigger than me, the many droplets are my brothers and sisters, each manifestation of consciousness connecting with every other to create swells that I can’t stop, but I can ride them.  Shanti Om!

∞

è che quando leggi intensamente e a lungo non per passare il tempo, per distrarti, bensì con l’intenzione ferma di apprendere,  a un certo punto senti premere sulla fronte da dentro,  sacca gonfia oltre la sua capienza.

le idee hanno una loro massa, ingrassano i neuroni, cibo.

così  ho lasciato andare la mente, il corpo a giacere nella notte, molto fermo nel letto.

nessuna uscita fuori dal corpo, nessuna risalita di kundalini, nessuna fontanella sprigionante bagliori.

solo mente, manas, immaginazione.

e lei si è fatta un giro, libera.

si è allontanata, sempre di più. guardandomi distesa dal soffito della stanza,  poi oltre, se ne è andata sulla luna, e ancora oltre, rimbalzando fra i pianeti, fino al sole.

la terra sempre più piccola, pallina,  briciola roteante. tutto quello che amo, ciò che conta per me, la vita, questa vita brulicante, pensieri, passioni, sensi, emozioni, conoscenza, tutto scomparso.

ma quella non si è accontentata e se n’è andata fuori,  fino a quando il sistema solare è diventato un atomo, invisibile.

finchè ha trovato il limite, oltre non si poteva andare.

prima di ritornare nel suo caldo involucro carnale e confortevole, là, ove si ascolta la musica delle sfere, è risuonata la domanda, quella domanda, cristallina e irridente.

a chi importa?

∞

l’immagine viene da qui e rappresenta la Via Lattea, regione dello Scorpione. In basso a sinistra si vede Antares, cuore dello Scorpione, una rossa-supergigante, circondata da una nebula gialla.

sotto le stelle:

Le strade parallele, Giuni Russo e Franco Battiato (aria siciliana)

Domenica giornata di scirocco
fuori non si può stare
per fare un po’ di fresco
socchiudo la finestra
e mi vado a riposare.

La stessa aria con la sua potenza scioglie i miei pensieri
un cuore vola se all’ombra prendi forma e ti presenti
non posso riposare.

Il sole ora entra dentro il mare e fanno l’amore
non c’è cosa più grande
tu sei la vera sorgente
che sazia i sentimenti.

La stessa aria col suo calore cresce e mi tormenta
il cuore vola sentendo schizzi d’acqua di fontana
nel mio giardinetto mi piace stare solo
mi piace stare sola.

Trad. di Rina Accardo

This year’s Halloween stretched beyond the typical single evening and spilled over into a handful of days and nights, which I must admit, had a tremendous impact on me. Not only did I experience the visceral effects of shifting appearances while bending my body to the most intense percussion ever, but I also got a potent sense of Halloween’s gravitational pull toward impermanence, transition, and release. Much of this I felt while wandering Brooklyn’s Greenwood Cemetery on a lazy Sunday covered in cool gray clouds.

The Greenwood Cemetery is a vast and beautiful resting place home to such luminaries as Jean-Michel Basquiat and Leonard Bernstein, as well as countless old-timey editors, Civil War vets, tycoons, babies, and brides all of whom have been honored by having laid their fleshy bits to rest among Greenwood’s rolling hills.

There’s not much that compares to roaming around a cemetery. There’s something about being in such close company to bones and bodies that doesn’t allow for a neutral experience. Even the most cynical of curmudgeons must submit to the tingle of death just below his/her feet when walking over a fresh grave.

For the rest of us it’s easy to enjoy walking among the old tombstones, perhaps pausing for a longer look at a humble monument dedicated to the passing of 19^th century twins. We’re grateful to picnic under a Chinese Maple growing within the boundaries of overly boastful plots set aside for families who deserve only the best.

Wondering how many people could picnic under that tree…

And what to make of the funerals inevitably taking place somewhere on the grounds? I can’t help but feel a sense of emotional limbo when I see the families gathering just over the ridge, not knowing if I’m being disrespectful for having even decided to walk the cemetery on such a day.

In India, sadhu followers of the left-handed path known as aghorins are said to hang around cremation sites in order to feed off the shakti that leaves the body once it has been burned. For some it is a rite-of-passage. For others it is their only form of yoga. We too may benefit from the teachings of the grave if we take the time to sit among its residents.

In the words of one teacher whose not-so-humble resting place bore an iron door marked with a winged “sands of time” hourglass:

LIFE’S SYMPHONY

To be thankful for each new day and to put into it and to get out of it, all the good I can.
To give, expecting nothing in return to help to bear the burdens of others without burdening them with mine.
To know enough of sorrow to be able to sympathize.
To know enough of sin to direct others into right paths.
To be blessed with enough of this world’s goods, to be satisfied with what I have.
To look to nature for my spiritual lessons and my daily sermons.
To take care of the present and to let the past and future take care of themselves.
In other words, to live each day as though it were my last.
This is the philosophy of my life, the symphony of my soul.
WILLIAM G. VIEMEISTER
“So Moth It Be”

Note: “So Moth it Be” is today a lesser used take on “So Mote it Be,” which corresponds roughly to “Amen,” though with slightly occult fragrances. A nice find on our way out of the cemetery.

Photo © Mephisto

NBC News reporter Alex Presha explores saxophonist David S. Ware’s bout with kidney disease, his connection with kidney donor Laura Mehr and his triumphant return to performing in this Web-only news story on the NBC Nightly News Web site.

We ended the previous blog in a rather gloomy and dismal way.  After all, who likes an existence where there is nothing to look forward to.  A situation where the mind wants nothing and has nothing to look forward to is quite depressing!

This is where the problem lies.  The soul is not the mind.  Any desire of the mind masks the soul.  Hence, when the mind is bereft of desire, can lie vacant and without any of the dualities, then and only then is our existence revealed.  Our existence as the soul, as the pure spirit. This pure spirit is ever joyful, needs nothing from the material existence and has a powerful power called the “Will” or “Sankalp”  Anything the soul wants, is materialized. But the changes the soul can make are restricted to its micro environment, not to the macro environment – the universe.  The power to affect changes in the universe lies only with God.

The previous chapter on the mind was the painful part of spirituality. The mind will resent and revolt against a situation bereft of desires.  The progress in terms of the kundalini here is, the dormant kundalini ascends upto the manipur chakra.  The progress from anahata chakra is the sunlit path (as stated by Sri Aurobindo and by Ramkrishna Paramhansa).   Moreover, the anahata chakra is the second stopping site for the sadhaka.  But this part of the ascent from anahata onwards is more of surrender.  Since the surrender is close to perfection, the sadhaka has no fear or worries.  God or shakti takes care of everything!  Isnt that a wonderful existence, where the sadhaka has joy / bliss and no worries?

It should be noted that it is impossible for anyone to stay in that state for long.  Everyone falls down while they live in the gross material world but, for someone who has reached such an exalted state, at the time of death, they valiantly go to the otherside never to come back to this existence!

•

Maschio e femmina mia madre mi ha messa all’ombra della luna

Ma Adamo fu sacrificato alla mia nascita

Immolato ai mercenari della notte

E per consolarmi

Mi lavò con acqua torbida

E mi portò sul pendio di ogni montagna

Per lo spettro del silenzio e il rumore delle domande mi rese docile

Mi consacrò a Eva lo stupore e la trasformazione

mi impastò con il buio e la luce

Un tempio ai diavoli del paradiso.

Straniera crebbi e nessuno si preoccupò del mio grano

Ho preferito disegnare la mia vita su una pagina bianca

Mela che nessun albero partorì

Poi ritagliarla e uscirne

Una parte di me vestita di rosso,

un’altra parte di me in bianco

Non ero solo dentro e fuori del tempo

Perché ho avuto origine nei meandri celati

Prima di nascere pensavo

Di essere una massa abbondante

Di avere dormito a lungo

Di avere vissuto a lungo

E quando sono diventata un frutto

Ho saputo quel che mi attendeva.

Ho detto ai maghi di prendersi cura di me

Allora mi hanno presa.

Era la mia risata

Bella e imbarazzata

Volavo sulle piume di un uccello

e di notte diventavo un guanciale

Hanno gettato il mio corpo nei talismani

e hanno cosparso il mio cuore

con il nettare della follia

Mi hanno recato un silenzio e dei racconti

E fatto in modo che io vivessi senza radici.

E da quel momento vago da un luogo all’altro

Indosso una nuvola ogni notte e parto

Solo io mi dico addio solo io mi do il benvenuto

Volo per sentirmi libera non perché ho paura

Torno dal desiderio non dal fallimento

la mia costanza è il mare e la mia bussola è la tempesta

nell’amore non getto l’ancora in nessun porto

il mio corpo è il viaggio e la mia morte è nel fermarmi

di notte lascio gran parte di me stessa

per abbandonarmi a un forte abbraccio

quando ritorno i miei fratelli gemelli

sono la distanza e le isole

l’onda e la sabbia della spiaggia

il rifiuto e il desiderio voluttuoso della luna

l’amore e la morte dell’amore

chi comprende il mio ritmo mi conosce

mi segue

però non mi raggiunge mai.

– Joumana Haddad -

•

la danza di shiva-nataraja può essere la selvaggia e violenta tandava o la dolce danza che seduce Uma, la perfetta, la “difficile da comprendere”.

è una danza intollerabile per la sua soavità ed oltraggiosa nella sua furia, seducente, insinuante.

è vita e morte, creazione e distruzione, manifestazione e riassorbimento.

trasformazione.

trasmutazione.

il suo ritmo è ipnotico, pare che nasca da qualche parte, dentro, in profondità, negli Eoni che furono e in quelli che saranno.

è spaventosa.

e magnifica.

•

la scultura in alto rappresenta l’abbraccio fra Shiva ed Uma, la frase in corsivo viene da qui

I have had a series of spectacular experiences some of which I have already forgotten.   However, some of the experiences I remember about the Gita are as follows

1) I was very fortunate to have the darshana of Krishna Bhagwana.  He started off with many many shlokas all praising his Guru.  He praised his Guru when he was Rama i.e. Vasishta Maharaj and his own Guru.  The shlokas were in sanskrita but as is typical in the Sukshma world, language is no barrier and miraculously I could understand all that was said. At the end of the shlokas, Krishna bhagwana told me these are the missing shlokas in the Bhagwada Gita.  The point being that in the entire Gita, there are no shlokas that praise the importance of a Guru.  The truth of the matter is the supreme cannot be reached without the grace of a Guru. 

When I told Dineshuncle about this, he praised our Gurudev very highly.  My gurudev only spent a few minutes with his Gurudev and reached the highest.  (I will explain this in more detail some other time).

2) A few days later, I had the extreme pleasure of having the darshana of Vishnutirthji Maharaja.  All advanced disciples have 2 Gurus. One guru for the gross physical world or sthula world and another Guru for the Sukshma world or astral world or subtle world.  At times the Guru maybe the same or other times it maybe a different Guru.  In my case, my Gurudev for the gross physical world is Sombargiri Maharaj and for the subtle world it is Vishnutirthji Maharaja.  For Paramhansa Yogananda, his gross physical world teacher was Yukteshwara maharaja and for the subtle world it was Lahiri Mahashaya.

Bade Guruji (Vishnutirthji Maharaja) was all joy, with a tremendous smile on his face and seated.  He did not have a shirt on but had a dhoti.  His face was beaming with the light of God.  His joy was very infectious.  This experience occured to me 3 days before Raksha bandhana in 2009.  Before I could say anything, he smiled and said, he will take me to the highest.  Even before the thoughts had fully formulated in my mind, he continued, yes, of course, I promise.  I promise to be bound till you reach the highest. (the true meaning of Raksha Bandhana).  His statement gave me great joy and pleasure.  The next question that passed my mind is, who is my true Guru.  Once again, he answered with a big smile on his face.  If your goal is to be somewhere at 7 am, can you tell the difference if your taken a certain distance by one person and the remaining distance by someone else? The goal is more important than anything else.

Lastly he asked me, do you know the Gita for a abhyasi?  I said no.  He said, the Gita for an abhyasi is Devatma Shakti the only book he wrote in English.  Then he told me to give this message to Pramodhbhai Jaiswal.  I immediately travelled astrally and gave the message to him. However, I intuitively sensed the message was not translated to the gross physical world.  I called him personally a few days later and conveyed the message.  I was surprised to hear from him that he felt he was stuck for the last 2 weeks and was looking for a book to help answer his question “there is tremendous joy in his meditation but what next?”.   At present, I am not at liberty to discuss a few more things on the matter.

3) In the Gita, there are many shlokas which praise the importance of Gita.  One of the shlokas, Lord Krishna says Oh Arjuna Gita is my divine abode!  Gita goes by many names, Gita, Ganga, Gayatri, Sita, Satya, Saraswati, Ardhmatra, Chidananda, Bhavagni, Bhayanashini, etc.  In the end Lord Krishna says, anyone who does the Gita Patha (studies the Gita) is liberated.

Gurudev always said this, but till I had the experience I could understand but not appreciate it.  In deep meditation, when one goes very deep, so deep that one is far beyond the sounds of the gross world, there are very subtle sounds of the atoms, that are constantly played within.  This divine music, is heard when one has full attention on the Agna Chakra.  These sounds, is the symphony of sounds, very melodious.  These sounds are the true Gita.  Listening to these sounds is the true study of Gita (Gita patha).  These sounds go by many names including Gita, Ganga, gayatri, etc. 

One more thing, one should not confuse the sounds of the initial meditation with the divine symphony which I am alluding to.  Nada or music is heard at 3 different levels.  1.  The sounds of the gross body.  2.  The sounds which occur from an intermediary stage which is heard easily but does not give any divine power and after a while becomes painful or not fun to hear.  3.  The divine sounds that come from the deepest atomic level.  These are the true sounds and listening to these sounds or nada gives us various Siddhis.  The true Gita is the sound at this level.

The word Gita itself means song.  The word Bhagvada means God so Bhagvada Gita means the divine song of God.  There is no other truer Gita than listening to the celestial music.  I am using words which have been used by Paramhansa Yogananda, one of my favorite spiritual guides.

Like I stated yesterday, the lowest form of Sakshi Bhava is where you split different parts of the mind into 2.

Based on this there are four different types of Yogas and four different types of Sadhaks

1) Mantra Yoga. Those sadhaks who cannot split their mind (either intellect or emotions) into two and silently observe the thoughts with one part of their mind should get the Mantra Diksha. For them, in time they will be able to watch their thoughts. At this point, inorder to progress further they will need another step the Laya Yoga.

2) Laya Yoga. With success of concentration of the Mantra Yoga, in time, we can silently divide our thoughts and mind and almost feel that the thoughts are external or superficial or foreign to us. Swami Shivomtirthji calls this Vichar darshan and some people erroneously think this is the Sakshi Bhava. There are some Sadhaks who make the mistake of thinking that the thoughts they are observing is the Sukshma or Astral body! The truth is the person observing the thoughts, is a little closer to the real consciousness.

However, inspite of being able to observe the thoughts, the Sadhak quickly realises that the thoughts are quickly taken over by emotions. Here, Laya yoga is helpful in stopping the emotions. In Laya Yoga, the mind is encouraged not to use mantra but to get absorbed in the divine sounds. With success of Laya Yoga, the sadhak will be able to observe his thoughts and emotions.

3) Hatha Yoga : One the Sadhak is able to watch the thoughts and he has success in Laya Yoga, he will be able to observe his own emotions. This is called Bhava darshana according to Swami Shivomtirthji.

At this point, inspite of being able to observe the thoughts and emotions, the Sadhaka is often overpowered by external forces. All of a sudden, inspite of having success, there is sudden loss in the power of observation. Not only that, he is unable to overcome some feelings like feeling tired, attacks of lack of concentration or comprehension, sexual desires, panic etc. The success of observing emotions and thoughts is merely restricted to the short duration of meditation. In order to have more lasting success and vanquish the 5 basic Kleshas (faults) as described by Patanajali, Hatha Yoga is important. The only branch of hatha yoga that I am eluding to is the Pranayama.

When I talk about Pranayama, I am not talking about holding the breath but I am talking of being able to hold the prana. This does not come overnight but comes slowly. In time, with practice, one is gradually able to clean some very basic source of all flaws. The reason why we have to constantly make an effort to watch the thoughts and emotions is because they have not been cleaned. With Pranayama, we are able to, with deep concentration, see the source where all the flaws of the emotions and thoughts arise from. There is a vast reservoir which is constantly feeding our emotions. This vast reservoir is the subconscient according to Sri Aurobindo. Patanjali called it the chitta. When we are finally at grips with the chitta, it no longer is an abstract thing. It has its own existence which can be seen, felt and observed.

Once, we are able to observe the chitta, finally, we have the ability to clean it! It is a long and slow process. This process occurs in the Muladhar! Once perfected, there are 3 things that we get. 1) Trikala drishti. The ability to see the past, present or future at will

2) Sayama prapti. The ability to seperate out from the emotions, thoughts and the chitta in a fraction of a second. This helps us achieve samadhi

3) Thought reading. The ability to read other peoples thoughts.

Finally, when pranayama is siddha, we are ready for Rajyoga

4) Rajyoga. This is the classic yoga which has been referred to in all the text books. In this part of the yoga, the sadhaka has perfected the above step. Now, he is ready for Samadhi. His prana is now able to ascend from the muladhar and then go to the Sahastrar and he is ready for freedom. Here, since the sadhaka already has Sayama, all he has to do, is focus his attention above and Shakti will automatically take his prana up. This is the way for all Siddhis!

Most disciples do not belong to any of these categories. A sadhaka ready for Rajyoga is extremely rare to find. A teacher is lucky if he finds more than 3 disciples ready for it! If the Sadhaka is ready for any given stage, as described in the books, the time for the sadhaka to go up each step is 3 years. Thus, success in Mantra yoga takes 12 years, Laya yoga takes 9 years, Hatha yoga takes 6 years and Raja yoga takes 3 years.

I myself have been struggling for 25 years. I have finally come into grapples with the chitta. It can be felt and seen. It feels like a thorn or an ugly seed haunting us! One must be very patient in cleaning this part. It took Sri Aurobindo more than 2 years of constant effort to clean it.

In between, I have had several experiences. One can have experiences like Samadhi in between, but it will not be constant, till the chitta is fully cleaned.

Om Shanti, Om Shanti, Om Shanti

Pearls – Entry for January 27, 2006

Entry for January 24, 2006

Entry for January 14, 2006

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Davvero ho la sensazione perdurante di aver vissuto molte vite in questi pochi anni e di essere stata molto amata, non sempre come avrei desiderato, ma comunque amata. Non posso fare a meno di chiedermi il perchè, cosa io abbia fatto per meritarmi tutto questo amore e, alla fine, l’unica risposta che so darmi è questa: ho amato.

Il re degli elfi ho amato di un amore incerto, confuso e permanente, senza limiti, l’amo anche adesso per le porte che aprì senza curarsene, per la passione ardente e per il sogno, per tutte quelle notti senza sonno e la poesia che seppe suscitarmi, l’amo per il sorriso lieve e per l’oltraggio, l’amo per il piacere cerebrale, l’assenza ed il rifiuto che m’inflisse, per gli artigli e le rose, per questa intermittente nostalgia, l’amo perchè mi riamò senza volere.

Il viaggiator cortese ho amato per lo sguardo, per l’eros caldo di mattine fredde, l’amo anche adesso perchè mi trasse in salvo quell’io stregato che, ostinatamente, s’intestardiva dentro a un  labirinto, l’amo per il suo desiderio sorridente, il thè bianco e le fragole, il rispetto, l’ascolto e l’ironia, l’amo per la sua mente acuminata e quella sua ragione puntigliosa, l’amo perchè mi manca all’improvviso una piccola cosa di tante e tante che condividemmo.

Ma poichè arriva il tempo e scegliere si deve, scelgo la roccia, la mia roccia fragile, lui che di me conosce antiche angoscie, ciabatte e malumori  e sa placarmi panico e ansia con la sua mano grande, lui che mi ascolta come fossi oracolo e s’incanta paziente alle mie storie. Lui incerto ed egoista, inconsapevole, lui forte e debole, lui da tanto tempo.

Scelgo la roccia e l’amo per la vita che insieme abbiamo dato e insieme coltiviamo con tremore. L’amo perchè ha sbattuto contro il muro la gatta furibonda e le sue smanie, l’amo perchè di tutte le mie fughe non mi chiese mai niente, l’amo perchè è cambiato nel dolore, l’amo per questi nostri corpi ritrovati, perchè indulge a viziarmi con piacere e mi sprona severo alla bisogna.

Li tengo dentro, al caldo del mio cuore, amori miei gentili e appassionati, crudeli e dolci, amanti tanto amati.

Ho dato, ho preso e li ringrazio assai, benchè mi renda conto finalmente che di me non hanno capito quasi niente.

Il cuore di una donna è gran mistero ma nessuno osi dir non è sincero.

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La foto è di Mario Giacomelli e fa parte della serie  “Un uomo, una donna, un amore”.