Pewnego niedzielnego, dodajmy listopadowego, popołudnia. Pewna Pani, jak to bywa wiecie, z nosem w pudrze, szminką na ustach, po zjedzonym obiedzie poszła na spacer. Długo chodziła wśród palm daktylowych, kokosowych, krzaków herbaty i kakaowców, aż wpadła na pewien pomysł. Po czym normalne, jakby nigdy nic wróciła do swojego pałacu, zasiadła na aksamitnym fotelu, wzięła do ręki złoto-diamentowe pióro i pergamin, i zaczęła pisać.

Myśli biegły w jej główce, jak stada gepardów goniących biedną antylopę gnu, wznosiły się na wyżyny najwyższej filozofii, jak sokoły wędrowne zasiadające na szczytach minaretów. Pergamin z każdą chwilą stawał się coraz bardziej pełny, mnóstwo zapisków, literek, cyferek, asygnat. Po skończonej pracy, ocierając pot z czoła Pewna Pani oddała swojemu słudze dokument, służyna ten opublikował go w pewnym bardzo ważnym spisie. Wszysycy mieszkańcy i sąsiedzi byli wielce oburzeni poczynaniami Pewnej Pani.

- Jak ona śmie, toż to prawdziwa obraza ! – wrzeszczała pomarszczona, niczym jabłko Esmeralda,

- Pewna Pani Powiedziała co wiedziała, a miała się zmienić – krzyczał Jednoręki Kurt,

- Dajcie spokój, zaraz z wszystkimi tak zrobi, więc po co te nerwy. - wszystko podsumował Ernest.

Nagle wśród społeczności zapanowała trwoga, bo co będzie dalej, może Pewna Pani ubezwłasnowolni wszystkich, tak jak zrobiła to z  S-mi. –  Nie możemy na to pozwolić, ludu pokaż żeś roztropny!!! – manifestowali inni – Chcemy praworządności, dyktat won! - skandowali drudzy.

Całe zamieszanie wywołał przecież mały papierek z tekstem:

”                                                                                                  Dekret Pewnej Pani

Art. 1.
Na mocy przysługującego mi prawa mając na uwadze dobro wspólne ogółu, przyszłość narodu Shanów oraz ich kraju postanawiam w dniu dzisiejszym odsunąć od władzy Księcia Shanii Cristo at Rabaniego i przejąć pełnię władzy nad tym krajem autonomicznym wchodzącym w skład Federacji Al Rajn.

Art. 2.
Władzę nad Księstwem Shanii przejmuję na czas nieokreślony i ustanie ona z chwilą wyłonienia nowego władcy.

Art. 3.
Dekret wchodzi w życie z chwilą jego ogłoszenia.”

September 26th & October 3rd 2009

Louis Charles Gerard ( Labella)

Marshall George (Liam)

Jake Carter (Jordan, Lachlan)

Andrew George Tane

Matthew David (Ashlee & Mackenzie)

William Ross

Joel Thomas (Josh)

James Alexander Quinn (Emily, Grace & Isobel)

Charlie William

Oliver Luke

Samuel John

Joshua Murray (Cody, Isaac)

Tyler Joseph (Makayla)

Evie Marie Elizabeth

Elise Sophia

Libby Rose (Logan & Shania)

Sienna Rose (Kyan)

Amelia

Meisha Rose (Saul)

Kea Sora

Aneira Lainie Nica (Keaton & Coedy)

Country music is reserved for rednecks, sex offenders in cowboy hats, and hot girls. I don’t listen to this “music”, although I have been know to like that song called, “Way Down Yonder on the Chattahoochee”.  I think it’s so ridiculous that it is good.

Shania Twain is no different.  Even if she is all of a sudden hot, I still would never destroy my ears by listening to her horrible music.  But I would look at her, which is why her being a guest judge at the Chicago auditions of American Idol is important.

I thought Simon would have picked that lizard like skeletor of a girl, Taylor Swift.  Instead he went with the 44 year old MILF. Good choice. I’d take one night with Shania over that odd faced Taylor Swift any day.  Man, I feel like a woman.

Shania Twain is confirmed to be a guest judge in the Chicago round auditions held on August 30 and 31. Shania is the latest female guest invited to the reality series to fill in the vacant spot left by Paula Abdul. Victoria Beckham was the first to get the guest seat last week, helping the three regular judges to select a few hopefuls in Boston auditions. Mary J. Blige joined the relay by auditioning in Atlanta on August 16 and 17.

Shania’s name was mentioned in the last few days as one of the guest judges along with Jessica Simpson’s. However, unlike Shania’s, Jessica’s stint is claimed “not true at all” by her rep.

Hey there constituents!

How’s it going? We don’t get enough time to chat these days, do we? Lives can be so hectic, can’t they? Well, I really do hope we can keep in touch more from now on. It’s good to talk.

Now, there’s a lot of kerfuffle going on in Iran following their mock elections, isn’t there? The citizens got an outcome that they didn’t like, that looked vaguely rigged, so they’ve taken to the streets. How dare they? Don’t they believe those in charge? This sort of thing would never happen in Great Britain, and I’m very glad about that. We would just sit there, mumbling and grumbling, not doing anything about it while nothing improves and everything festers around us, as is the Great British way. I’m not saying that the New Labour government is festering, but their is a bit of a noxious whiff  emenating from somewhere in the cabinet. Not that I’m thinking of jumping ship or anything, just yet.

Iran is ruled under strict Sharia law. Not Sharia Twain, she don’t impress me much, nor Cheria Blair, although I’m sure as the Middle East Peace Envoy, her hubby and our saviour Tony Blair is there in the heat of the action, trying to smooth things over in his own inimitable way. The advocates of Sharia Law were helped into power in Iran by a CIA influenced overthrow, not a C&A influenced overthrow, although President Ahmadinnerjacket’s ubiquitous grey suit may well have fitted quite smartly in their summer range.

Hello, I'm Wearing A Snazzy Jacket

We are even lucky enough to have a smattering of Sharia Law courts on our own doorsteps. As our good Archbishop Rowan Williams says, “one law for everybody [...] that’s a bit of a danger”, and isn’t about enforcing zealous religious extremism at all, no way baby Jesu! As Bob Dylan once stated, “Everybody must get stoned!”, so let’s draw a veil over the matter, before things go nuclear!

Archbishop Williams also recently said that criticising politicians for their expenses is a bit much, and could have grave consequences for democracy (rather than being the grave of democracy, as other filthy detractors have claimed!). I must say that he has my utmost support! Too right! What business is it of journalists to chastise politicians for making a few minor indiscretions with their finances? I am a thoroughly decent and upstanding person, if I don’t mind saying so myself, and those biscuit receipts were going to be paid back into the kitty once I broke into that twenty pound note. Trust me.

Be seeing you! Call me!

CJB

I know the rest of the B.O.M.B. crew isn’t interested in the latest announcement for Rock Band DLC, but I am. Hitting Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, and Wii on July 21 is a Country Track Pack. The pack will cost $29.99 and feature 21 songs from a mix of country artists including Kenny Chesney, Alan Jackson, Shania Twain, Rascal Flatts and Kenny Rogers. Many of the tracks will be exclusive to the Rock Band Country Track Pack disc for a limited time before joining the Rock Band Music Store as downloadable content. Additional artists and songs from the track list will be announced in the coming months, but for now here’s a preview of what to expect:

Alan Jackson “Good Time”
Brooks & Dunn “Hillbilly Deluxe”
Dierks Bentley “Free & Easy (Down the Road I Go)”
Dixie Chicks “Sin Wagon”
Drive-By Truckers “3 Dimes Down”
Jason Aldean “She’s Country”
Kenny Chesney “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy”
Kenny Rogers “The Gambler”
Lucinda Williams “Can’t Let Go”
Martina McBride “This One’s For the Girls”
Rascal Flatts “Me and My Gang”
Shania Twain “Any Man of Mine”
Steve Earle “Satellite Radio”

I want to bake I’m going to bake bake bake!!!
It’s going to be my profession!
I’m a total beginner
So I’m going to have fun!
Make mistakes!
Document them!
And laugh at them !
And of course by documenting I mean PICTURES!
And in the future I will be opening a bakery in the Netherlands with my bestest bud Anna! So she’ll be helping me out! She’s not a beginner :D:D!!
Hoper you laugh and learn!
Your most adamant bakin’ blogger Viktoria

OH! FYI: This is what we’ll be baking first Hopefully! If Anna approves! =)=)=)

Chantal’s New York cheesecake =):

INGREDIENTS (Nutrition)

• 15 graham crackers, crushed
• 2 tablespoons butter, melted
• 4 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese
• 1 1/2 cups white sugar
• 3/4 cup milk
• 4 eggs
• 1 cup sour cream
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 1/4 cup all-purpose flour

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a 9 inch springform pan.
2. In a medium bowl, mix graham cracker crumbs with melted butter. Press onto bottom of springform pan.
3. In a large bowl, mix cream cheese with sugar until smooth. Blend in milk, and then mix in the eggs one at a time, mixing just enough to incorporate. Mix in sour cream, vanilla and flour until smooth. Pour filling into prepared crust.
4. Bake in preheated oven for 1 hour. Turn the oven off, and let cake cool in oven with the door closed for 5 to 6 hours; this prevents cracking. Chill in refrigerator until serving.

Are you ready for the tasty picture?

=D

Oh! And the recipe and picture! I got them both from this AWESOME site :

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Chantals-New-York-Cheesecake/Detail.aspx

Just wait for the next blog! It’s gonna be full of pictures of us trying to bake it =D=D=D

Pointless Drivel

 I don’t know about everywhere else, but today in DFW, the weather is wonderful! It’s a gorgeous 81 degrees with a clear blue sky and bright, warm sun. My life isn’t much darker than that. I’m enrolling in an advanced Physics class next year, to help prepare for getting a meteorology degree, and I’m really rather excited. That makes all but two of my courses next year advanced, so I’ll be very busy, but I’ll be learning things that actually matter, with people who actually care. Which is rare, from where I come from. A lot of things are rare from. Intelligence is somehow one of them. I don’t think things were much better in California, where I grew up, but the whole air of Texas just seems a bit…slow. Who knows though, appearances are always deceiving. I know some absolutely brilliant people here, and feel lucky to know them and be in their company, sharing in their thoughts. So maybe there is hope for the future yet. 

“I got my heart set, my feet wet, but he don’t even know yet, but no one needs to know right now.” 

Maybe it’s best no one know, except any poor sop who reads my blog (no offense to anyone out there, but really, go outside, read a book, do something constructive! my life is not that interesting). I would send the link to this to the people I know, but I like having a place to really say what I think without any fear of retribution. In my classes I fear speaking up in case of being wrong or people with conflicting views. With friends, I usually think the opposite way than them, and therefore lean towards a taciturn personality. With guys, I’m too shy to make the first move. It’s easier in all aspects of life to sit down, and shut up. But here? There’s no reason to, and it’s the most liberating, wonderful experience I’ve had in awhile.

Politics

I watched Obama’s speech last night, and I’m impressed by his ability to speak in public. It’s certainly a nice change after Bush, even if I was in favor of him for awhile. I can’t say as I agree with everything our current president says, but it’s really more of a cynical belief that he can’t make the things happen, if he wants them to. But if he can, it would improve the country so much. I’d love to return to the days of prosperity and responsibility, where people in office were there because they wanted to make a change for the better, and do what’s best for their people. That’s how it should be, and hopefully how it will be again. So I wish all the best to you, Mr. President. Not because you’re the first black president, and I’m impressed by it. I’m not. You are a man. In a country that claims to have little or no racism, I can’t imagine making such a large deal out of a president being black. I’m a woman, and I would think it sexist if Hilary Clinton were elected and suddenly praised repeatedly for being female. I applaud Obama for the way he handles himself, and for his optimism. He has good ideas, and he’s not just some puppet. Time to see what he can do!

I recently had an opportunity to interview a friendly face here at Runde. Gary Reiter has been a committed member of the Runde group and is always a joy to be around. Let’s get to know him a little better.

What do you do here at Runde’s?  

I’m the Manager of the Reconditioning Department at Runde Suzuki-Predriven.

How long have you worked here?

Oh, I’ve been here for a little over two years now.

Are you originally from the area?

Yes, I’m originally from Dubuque.

What is your best experience at Runde’s to date?

I’d have to say that when the new Runde car wash got up and running. 

What are your past times / hobbies? 

I collect antiques.  I’d say that my most prized antique is an ivory cane handle that’s shaped like a canine with glass eyes.  It’s from Europe and it’s quite rare … I’m waiting to find a nice wooden cane that I can attach it to.  I imagine that by the time I find the perfect match, I’ll probably be old enough to need the cane to walk.

Married?  

Yes          

Kids?   

I have two kids.  My son is in Madison and my daughter is in California              

Pets?

We have a pet Cockateal at the house, but it’s not mine.  My daughter sort of left it with us.  I’m not really a bird-person.

Do you have a favorite hang-out spot in the Tri-State area? 

I like to visit Bill’s Antiques on White in Dubuque.

If you were a vehicle, what vehicle would you want to be and why?

I’d be a Rolls Royce.  I love the way they look and the way they drive.  I’ve promised myself that I will own one before I die.

What’s your favorite restaurant in the Tri-States?  

The main restaurant at Eagle Ridge Resort.  We don’t eat there often, but when we do, it’s always good.

What’s your most memorable experience in a car or truck?

I’d have to say it was when I was 17 years old.  I was driving down Kerper Blvd in Dubuque in a 1963 Pontiac Catalina wagon at 128 mph when the motor shut down.  I finally got the car started again and I blew out one of the front tires about 20 feet down the road.  To this day, I’m glad that it didn’t blow when I was doing 128.

Favorite movie? 

Oh, I don’t know … I’d have to say that Heartbreak Ridge with Clint Eastwood is pretty high on my list.

What’s in the cd player of your car right now?

Shania Twain

Shania Twain?

Yes, Shania Twain.

Where’s the first place you will travel to when you win the lottery?

Paris. We’ve travelled quite bit in the US, but I’ve never been out of the country.  I’d really like the chance to see the Eiffel Tower, the Arc of Triumph, and all the other sights of Paris.

Journey the band, journey the trip, or Journey the vehicle?  

Journey the vehicle.

Chocolate or Vanilla? 

Chocolate

Chevy or Cadillac?  

Cadillac

Favorite actress? 

Julia Roberts

As I thanked Gary for the interview and for his time, he asked me why I didn’t ask him who his favorite actor was.  For the record:  It’s Larry Hagman who played J.R. Ewing on the 80’s TV show Dallas.  Gary Reiter’s a pretty popular guy around the Runde Predriven store so it’s very unlikely that we’ll ever have to wonder Who Shot G.R.  Gary will probably be around for a long, long time … long enough to get that Rolls Royce perhaps. 

OK, let’s be honest, the reason that I am hardly ever writing on this gay, unvisited blog anymore  is cos writing rants about shit and the other shit that is accumulating in my arsehole existence is just DEPRESSING and even knowing that I have this ‘All up my neck of the woods’ blog about my misfortunates is pretty reeeeetarded. I’m just talking to a brick wall, writing all this shit when karma is such a bitch. I don’t even get back anything for the niceness which I have given out. People say that you shouldn’t expect anything for anything you do. Well, I used to believe in that and never did, but now, I am wondering where that long overdue karma for me is. Did it get lost in the mail? Did whoever makes this thing called karma decide that it wasn’t for me? Life is a bitch without even thinking pessimisticly. My looks are enough to say that ‘God’ spent absolutely no time on me. My life is a shambles. I do not understand the meaning of going through this absolutely silly existence. I feel like I have been pushed onto the ‘Ridiculous Shitty Train’ and have become enveloped in a world where nothing good happens for no reason whatsoever. Access. Access is something that is just not accessible whatsoever. You think the words ‘lucky’or ‘convenient’ applies to my life? It never has. Everything has been out of my league. I feel like I’ve been pushed into a corner.

Like today, I was cleaning my room. Ha. Yes, for once,my day had come to clean my filthy, mould-ass room. And I’m even cleaning it on a day where the weather is humid and muggy as shit. My hair sticks to my forehead, I’m sweating, I feel bloated, and I’ve got my lights on in the afternoon. And right after I did my very best to clean things, I decide to push out the ugly piece of furniture with ugly red knobs out of my miniscule room and into the part of the hallway which leads into my room. All of a sudden, my room looks better. Not at all flash, but definitely better than what I knew. So now, I can put a chair at my desk and actually put my laptop on the desk and type out the shit I am typing right now. This is probably the first time I’ve actually used my computer on my desk in ages. My desk is usuallya dumping zone for the shit that has no home.

But then all of a sudden, the typical parentals come along and tell me that the ugly piece of furniture which I just moved out of my room can’t be there. And then they start ranting on about how it actuallycan fit into my room and how my bed is too big and much space there actually is to my room. What the fuck. THERE JUST AIN’T. I hate it when people make it like this tinsy winsy space which I have inhabited my whole life is actually big. Get a life!!!!! This is a freaking kid’s room. It ain’t some wannabe fashionista’s room. Nowhere near. My wardrobe is probably a metre in length and half a metre in width. I cannot fit my 5-minute fashion from Supre in there! I wanna redecorate my room but this is just killing it. There’s no use in starting something on a room that is just already yuck. It’s like, you can’t take heaps of makeup and make a retarded face like mine into freaking Lily Donaldson. Ugly ducklings will never be swans. Get the fuck over it. This shit ghetto will never be New York. And then the parentals start going on about how they’re gonna attempt to put back that ugly furniture in my room which is crying out for breathing space. No way. If I do, then I know my room is gonna become a filthy dump again. Like it always has!!! I’m listening to my Shania Twain CD right now and I just wish I was living in the countryside.

So I don’t know what to say. My room is an arse and so is my life. I feel like getting on my high horse and galloping away to the hills. And live in a beautiful country house and bake cookies and go to the beach and continue to listen to my Shania Twain CD. That’s what listening to Shania makes me wanna do! She inspires me to become a country bumpkin. Shania Twain, if you are reading this right now, tell me I should become a country bumpkin! I sure don’t have a house in the deep south but that don’t mean…………..OK, WTF????? I really am drifting off.

OK, this is really hot. Shania just about to get onto her high horse. This is how I want to live my life right at this second.