J’ai renié la gravité le jour où mon premier black out a battu l’apesanteur par KO.

Si match retour il y a, il se déroulera après l’arrivée aux urgences et avant le lavement.

Entre le sol et le ciel, j’appuie sur retour rapide pour faire avancer le film de ma vie, essayer de trouver un sens à ce qui n’en a pas.

Alors, si tout est une question d’éloge funèbre je me proclame immortel, de mon ennui le plus profond à l’hystérie la plus collective.

Plus on est de fous, plus on fuit.

Puisque qu’il n’y a plus de deadline pourquoi observer la timeline, pourquoi continuer à employer des mots d’anglais au lieu du chinois ?

Hum ? Quoi ? Je répondrai à cette délicate interrogation existentialiste, sûrement sur le trône lorsque je me serai totalement extirpé de mon coma habituel ainsi que de mon vomi personnel, enfin, je n’en suis pas sûr.

Autour de moi, tournoyant sans s’arrêter, une collection de poster encadrés et poussiéreux prouvant que la pop culture est plus une religion qu’un business, contre mon front une paire de sneakers édition limitée gluantes qui ne m’appartiennent pas, comme le reste de la chambre d’ ailleurs.

« Où je suis ? » c’est un meilleur échappatoire que « qui je suis ? ».

Un dernier sourire sur l’inconnue que je ne veux pas connaître, la frontière de la porte péniblement franchie, j’arpente chancelant, au petit matin de midi, ce couloir que je connais décidément par cœur, par cul…

J’aperçois finalement la lumière au bout du tunnel, ébloui par le monde, j’accèderai peut-être à la rédemption ou un café, une fois que mes yeux cachés derrière la fine couche de crasse de mes lunettes de soleil, décorant un automne sous assistance respiratoire en attendant l’hiver, auront trouvé asile entre mes paupières et mes cernes.

Certains ont une double vie, quand je doute encore que la mienne m’appartienne en constatant d’un rictus nerveux comment je peux la détruire avec trois doigts et une seringue, juste comme ça.

Quand il n’y a pas de stigmates, il n’y a pas de plaisir, demandez à Jésus !

Sociabilise-toi, on m’a dit petit, je suis un élève appliqué en faisant dans l’humanitaire entre toxicomanes en manque de problème et dealers qui veulent en avoir à tout prix.

Parfois les négociations tournent à l’explication lorsque le service après vente n’existe pas et que le distributeur veut son retour sur investissement, donc les gémissements font les coupables et les retards construisent les exemples.

Les fractures ou les fractions, je ne sais pas, mais on ne guérit pas de ce que l’on a perdu, alors la plupart se bercent d’hypothèses plutôt que de vivre face à leurs échecs chaque matin en se brossant machinalement les dents pour entretenir la vitrine de la machine à créer du vent.

Je ne crois ni aux signes des astrologues ni au destin des marionnettistes, mais une lettre anonyme au parfum de futur, pourquoi pas ! On s’accorde avec le déni qui nous rassure le plus.

Devenir accro à un bonheur hypothéqué, quoi de mieux pour un vendeur de rêve à la demande ?

Dans le creux des reins de la nuit on change, on se mélange, on voit rouge, on déroge, on s’érige, on s’arrange, on enrage, on se fige, on se mélange, on change, puis on se venge et les deux aspirines qui se désagrègent en pétillant militairement au fond du verre nous interrogent.

Quand on vit de prétextes plus ou moins douteux, on a toujours une excuse valable pour ne pas assumer.

Il faut dire que le sexe a plus d’ avenir que l’amour, à nous regarder, nous, le peuple des relations bucco-génitales qui ne peut pas s’empêcher de l’ouvrir, même pour faire silence.

…

Mon pays c’est mes névroses, je peux partir en guerre pour un câlin, un regard de travers, mais principalement parce que mon cœur n’a jamais eu les couilles de mon ego et je préfère le lit d’autrui à la solitude du mien.

Les moments de vérité j’ai toujours su les rater avec un professionnalisme certain, il ne me reste qu’une voie de garage ou un cul de sac, mais comptez sur moi pour préméditer un carambolage à la sortie de la boîte des enfants avec un permis de mourir.

La prévention construit une clientèle plus qu’elle ne la dissuade !

Avant de m’enterrer dans la concession voisine de celle de mon revendeur agréé de poudre aux yeux, il me faut combler mon prêt étudiant et les espoirs parentaux dans une salle de classe remplie à la hâte d’une mosaïque qui mériterait un bon lifting et fournie avec le prélat érudit, enfin plus que ces fidèles, faisant autant cours qu’un speed dating.

M’instruire ? Pourquoi faire ? Je ne vais pas apprendre l’existence dans un bouquin, j’opte pour un aquaplaning dans un verre d’eau, de redbull, de rhum ou une chirurgie à cœur ouvert par mail interposé.

Pourquoi les pécheurs parlent toujours de morale comme de la liste des courses du samedi après-midi ?

Chacun comble son enfance dans la désintoxication possible et la luxure plausible, certains pleurent secrètement leurs fantômes parce c’est encore plus dur de grandir à plusieurs plutôt que seul et les derniers montent une arnaque à l’assurance avec leurs démons le vendredi, samedi et dimanche, selon leur boutique.

Je ne termine jamais ce que j’ai commencé, comme l’autre soir dans tes bras, dans tes draps, je ne termine jamais ce que j’ai commencé comme la vie en général, je ne termine jamais ce que j’ai commencé comme cette

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang es una peli de Shane Black de 2005. No me queda muy claro si es un enlatado de una peli más vieja o si simplemente es la versión de la novela de Brett Halliday, Bodies Are Where You Find Them.

La peli es protagonizada por Robert Downey Jr. en una excelente presentación. Esta vez acompañado de la bella Michelle Monaghan en un thriller de corte políciaco cargado de un fino humor y una narrativa bastante divertida. Casi que sería mejor catalogarla como un anti-héroe en una peli de cine negro, donde el protagonista es un ladrón, que se vuelve actor, detective, amante de la protagonista, vengador y antes que todo es el narrador de la peli.

La peli empieza con unos créditos magníficos elaborados por Danny Yount y luego un corte a una escena vintage en los 80’s donde un pequeño mago es saboteado por una niña malcriada quien recibe su merecido del supuesto padre.

De ahí en adelante la narración envuelve a Downey Jr, Monaghan, Val Kilmer, Larry Miller, Rockmond Dunbar, Angela Lindvall y Shannyn Sossamon en un vértigo de situaciones circunstanciales que desencadenan en un asombroso acto de magia y un final escalofriante para el thriller.

La razón de la excelente narración es la amplia experiencia de Black como escritor de Hollywood que va desde TODAS las versiones de Lethal Weapon (incluída la 5 que está en preproducción), The Long Kiss Goodninght en 1996 con Geena Davies, Craig Bierko, Samuel L. Jackson y Brian Cox, Last Action Hero en 1993 con Arnold Schwarzenegger, F. Murray Abraham, el finado Anthony Queen e Ian McKellen, y The Last Boy Scout en 1991 con Bruce Willis, Damon Wayans y Halle Berry. No son las pelis más profundas ni más interesantes pero me entretuvieron mucho en la era del colegio.

Shannyn Sossamon is… beautiful. Exotic. Talented. I just love her face and those brows. Meow!. <3

*I don’t own the copyright to any of the photos above. The copyright belongs to their respected hosts/photographers. If the copyright holder has an issue with me posting any particular photo[s], do notify me so the photo[s] in question can be taken down.*

After a newly increased appreciation of Sea Wolf, I am more than happy to see and post new stuff from the band. The new stuff that we have for you today is the video for the single “Wicked Blood” off the new album White Water, White Bloom. The video depicts a Shannyn Sossamon in a Scooby Doo/bad high school play being chased by monsters then falling in love with an alien who then has to leave after being chased by villagers wielding torches and pitchforks.

I’m SO offended that I couldn’t think of a clever title. Ouch.

Looking through Google Images this morning to find any trace of a Shannyn Sossamon hairstyle option that I have not already exhausted… (looks bleak. Basically my only options are Moonlight and A Knight’s Tale… grow, grow, grow. Ugh) and I came across a June post from FashionIndie.com style editor Hillary Frazier about Kristen Stewarts Joan Jett haircut. I almost shat out of my mouth. I was disgusted.

This photo led me to the most horrific, most asinine idea I have ever seen.

Kristen Stewart had to cut her hair for a new film, ‘The Runaways,’ with…is that really Dakota Fanning? She’s so much older now! I’m unsure what Stewart’s hair will look like down, but by the way she always has it up, I’m guessing she doesn’t like it. It can’t be that bad! It’s a lot darker, kindof reminds me of Shannyn Sossamon, and Stewie should take that as a HUGE compliment from me.

Are you shitting me? In what way is that hair even comparable to any of the glorious style that Shannyn has EVER had. You, baish, are blind.  And shouldn’t ever be considering yourself a style editor. Like you said, she doesn’t seem like she likes her hair that much, and yes, it really is bad. Doesn’t suit her at all. Not, not, not, not, not in any way reminiscent of a Shannyn Sossamon style.

You assholes over there at Fashion Indie have spoiled my breakfast 5 months ago). Hope you’re proud.

This was the first movie review that I ever did, so I just want to point out two things: 1. It’s really short, and 2. The writing might be a little…elementary.  But I really enjoyed writing this and thats why i continue to do it. Enjoy and tell me what you think; Has my writing improved or not?

********************

First and foremost,  Wristcutters: A Love Story is unlike any love story you have ever seen. I mean yeah, every year theres that cutesy little indie love story that is made and for some reason it becomes the talk of all the film festivals and everyone falls in love with it. This movie got that same attention but for whatever reason not a lot of people have heard of it, which I find criminal.

Wristcutters takes place in A limbo/purgatory type place where people who commit suicide go. Among the people who are here are Zia (Patrick Fugit) and Eugene (Shea Whigham), who we are introduced to at the beginning of the film. Both characters spend their days drinking and spending time with each other. One day Zia meets someone he used to know when he was alive and learns that his girlfriend who he cannot stop thinking about actually killed herself and is somewhere in this strange limbo place. Eugene and Zia set off in a road trip where they come across Mikal (played by the very talented and stunning Shannyn Sossamon) who joins them on the journey, as she is seeking out the “people in charge” because she says she didn’t kill herself. Along the way they meet many strange and quirky characters, including a mysterious man who runs a tenement camp named Kneller that is portrayed brilliantly by Tom Waits. When Zia finally does find his girlfriend he learns that he is torn between her and his new friend Mikal.

There was a lot to like about this film. Fugit and Whigham portray the friendship between Zia and Eugene brilliantly and convincingly. And what can I say about Shannyn Sossamon. Theres a reason she is one of my favorite actresses of all time and this movie displays her talents amazingly. The rest of the supporting cast is also really good as is the quirky latino music that is featured throughout the film. The only real thing that i found a problem with was at the end of the film there is a 5 to 7 minute period of confusing events that iron themself out at the very end.

If you are looking for a fun and interesting black comedy, suggest you give give this a chance.

VERDICT: SEE IT!

Last week I tried to stomach an episode of The Vampire Diaries to give myself a break from catching up on True Blood because I wanted to make it last. FAIL.

Yesterday I tried again, this time hoping I could hold down the vomit past the first five minutes because Ian Somerhalder is just so rad (as stated in a previous post). I made it ALMOST to the end. ALMOST. I had to make it stop.

This morning I realized that if they just re-cast ALL of the females with ones that can ACT, it might be bearable. Seriously, I hate that Degrassi girl. She’s weird and gross and sounds like she’s been smoking Newports since before conception. Not cute.

Moving on…

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Cougar Town. HiLARious! Courtney Cox is better than she’s ever been. Busy Phillips got fat (love that), and so did Jordan from Scrubs and she’s a little more feeble now and has clearly had work done but I still just ADORE her. And dude, rad dad much?

Also…

Bored To Death. AMAZING! I don’t think I can really even say anything else? It has 3 of my favorite actors, first of all (loooooove Olivia Thirlby so much!), and it’s just awkwardly hilarious but not in that skeevy uncomfortable Juno way. God, I love this show. LOVE! And it’s something to hold me over until Eastbound and True Blood come back next yes. SCORE!

So that’s it for now. I’m also watching Moonlight but that was cancelled a while ago… I just need my grown up vampire fix while waiting for True Blood…so it works for now (plus you all should know that I IDOLIZE Shannyn Sossamon.)

As I watch more shows I’ll  continue to tell you how much I hate them here.

In my opinion, this broad is the most beautiful woman in the world! She has great style, always has sick hair (I used to get my hair cut like her all the time), and she originated as a DJ… just another reason to make her all the more awesome. She also skateboards, a woman after my heart! I love to love this lady.

She makes me recycle my belief, that long hair is overrated.

;P

<3

Un film del 2009, regia di Buddy Giovinazzo, con Kerry Washington / Shannyn Sossamon / Lara Flynn Boyle / Brandon Routh. Prodotto da ()

Drammatico

Marybeth è un transessuale in attesa di operarsi che rimedia soldi prostituendosi e abita con l’amante Benny, un ladruncolo che vive di espedienti. A dispetto delle loro attività, i due dividono la quotidianità come una comune coppia sposata. Manny si divide tra due lavori per mantenere la famiglia: di notte fa il guardiano in una zona circondata da giovani tossici, spacciatori e prostitute, e di giorno la guardia giurata al Welfare Hotel. Il piccolo Willy vive nell’hotel con la sorella, la madre e il suo violento compagno, che lo constringe a chiedere l’elemosina per la strada per rimediare il cibo. Romeo, piccolo delinquente, batte il quartiere con la sua gang terrorizzando tutti quelli che si imbattono sul suo cammino.

Irina Sheik

I, to this day, have never found a more beautiful being in existence. I found this russian model by total accident. I was googling for Hottie number three on my list, ‘Shiek,’ and she came up on page 30039493 on my search for Sheik Pictures. I like this particular picture, because she is painted with this paisley-ish body art, and it’s so fricken beastily.

Kate Beckinsale

I first saw her in The Underworld trilogy. I have since kept up on her every move in film. She was really powerful in Snow Angels, but I still dig her best in Underworld, she makes a fine ass vampire.

Zelda/Sheik

This is my longest running crush. I have played every Zelda game. My favourite being, Ocarina of Time. She was hottest in Twlight Princess. It was before I finished Ocarina I had a secret crush on Sheik. When I finished the game, Sheik unveiled…itself as being Zelda. I honestly thought I was gay because of that video game.

Shannyn Sossamon

I first saw her in A Knight’s Tale. I don’t know why, but that movie is one of my favourites. It’s an odd movie, but it has a good cast, with Heath Ledger as the lead. She was adorabley cute in Wristcutters: A Love Story.

Anna Paquin

I fricken love Anna Paquin. I loved her before all you True Blood posers did. I loved her in Fly Away Home, as I, myself had pet ducks and geese as a child(they lived in my bathroom and then my backyard). X Men was the shizz. I then loved her slutty portrayal in 25th Hour, but indeed we truely hit jackpot with True Blood. She is on my hotty list, because, well she has such a unique look. Come on how many of you wouldn’t risk getting the life sucked out of you for her to touch you just once; what I wouldn’t do to be a glove on her hand(<—X men reference)? I know i'd risk it, readers, I know I would. She has this really deep, innocent look to her face. Her teeth have more character than you will ever have in your entire being/soul.

Jason Schwartzman

you will have to do a double take when you see this kid in Rushmore, even then I think he was a cutie. He blossomed into quite the looker when he hit Darjeeling Limited, who didn’t pause the shit out of Hotel Chevalier? He recently had a role in Funny People.

Hugh Jackman

I really like Hugh Jackman. He has this guidance to him that seems like he’d make a great mentor, say if you had the chance to meet him. I’m basing my prior statement purely on his portrayal in X Men and how he watched over Rogue. So, yes, I do have a little girl crush on him, but more in an admiring way.

Elliot Smith

What can I say, it’s Elliot Smith. i’ve listened to live recordings of him talking, and he’s so soft spoken. He’d be one of those relationships that would sit on your mind so heavy it’d be nice just to have ever known him as a friend. Aha, you know considering fricken ELLIOT SMITH would of befriended you. I don’t know why I think his death is the reason we aren’t good friends, and not the fact he’s FRICKEN ELLIOT SMITH. I like to think we would have a lot in common…me an Indian girl rockin hick towns, and he, a beautiful man with a melodic voice that could soothe you into a coma.

Stephen Moyer

I’ve only seen him in True Blood. But I…Want…To….Tap….That……Ass.

Silly, ridiculous and ultimately harmless, One Missed Call is a throwaway horror flick that provides nothing by way of scares and quite a few unintentional laughs. It is a completely harmless motion picture, save for that the fact that it was made and cost money in the first place, so it’s a little hard to get too steamed about its lack of coherence and decent chills.

As yet another American remake of a Japanese horror film, One Missed Call takes many of the elements from Takashi Miike’s 2004 version and creates a palatable softcore horror movie that relies on creepy visuals and a cell phone ringtone that is supposed to signify impending doom. The usual trappings of American remakes of J-Horror are all here, including creepy children, strange sounds, funny-looking eyeballs and strange objects coming out of peoples’ mouths.

Directed by Eric Valette (who?), One Missed Call stars Shannyn Sossamon as Beth Raymond. Beth is a girl who is disturbed by the deaths of four friends after learning that they’d each received cell phone calls from themselves in the future prior to their untimely deaths. In each case, the victim sees strange apparitions shortly before they die. Beth reports the problem to the cops, who essentially treat her like some kind of nut.

The heroic and dashing Detective Jack Andrews (Edward “What Am I Doing In This Movie?” Burns) is the only one to believe her and he takes Beth at her word. Jack’s sister died in similar fashion, so he’s got a vested interest in the case. The two of them take to solving the case, only to discover that Beth’s cell phone soon delivers that same eerie ringtone and that she might be next. It’s a race against time and awful special effects as Beth and Jack must discover who is placing these death calls and why.

To say that One Missed Call was disliked by critics would be an understatement. It scooped a whopping 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, which I think is slightly too low but may have a lot to do with the fact that it wasn’t screened for critics ahead of time. That’s never a good sign. One Missed Call is a bad movie, don’t get me wrong, and there’s no way I can recommend it to people who actually enjoy good horror or good films, but it wasn’t the most terrible movie of 2008.

It’s actually a fair shade better then this year’s brutally awful The Haunting in Connecticut, as it doesn’t waste time setting up any characters or giving us stupid moments of development or overly dramatic nonsense. One Missed Call is silly the whole way through and its payoff is about on par for how Valette has set the whole thing up. Sure, it’s a ludicrous mess of a movie with uninteresting acting and bad effects, but it’s relatively undisruptive and doesn’t take too much attention to get through.

Like most American remakes of J-Horror, One Missed Call is an exercise in “dark” atmospherics and not plot and character development. These characters are essentially worthless objects, with no spark and no energy whatsoever. There’s nothing to them and the performers behind them do nothing to bring any sort of force or significance to their existence. They seemingly exist just as observers of the smoggy sort of world Valette wants us to find creepy.

Of course, I was at least grateful that the film didn’t contain countless time-wasting meanderings about the significance of this person or that person. I was relieved that the silliness didn’t seem to get in the way of something and I was glad that Valette didn’t force-feed the audience a ridiculously long runtime or an overabundance of “meaning.” One Missed Call is ultimately meaningless, a waste of time and money entirely but far from the worst horror movie in recent years.

1.2/10

Trailer:

This post will end my Megan Fox rampage, because I did watch the trailer for Jennifer’s Body, and it’s just your typical mainstream cinema horror, completely ridiculous. I do have to say that the impression that I got is that Megan Fox assumes that playing sexy and playing evil are the same thing. If you’re playing a sexy, evil character you need to play both sides. Sexy just doesn’t automatically mean evil.

Anyhow, I want to make a point. There is a major difference between being sexy and being trashy and whorish. (This isn’t about the movie, from what I can tell her character just IS a whore which, really, must be a stretch for her.)

(And for those of you who would like to say that I’m jealous, you couldn’t be more stupid. I have no problem admitting when I’m jealous of someone, trust me.)

Lemme show ya somethin’:

First of all, this better have been taken at a Halloween party, because WTF is that dress doing?! And second, is the invisible man/woman she’s kissing here the same one that’s up her dress in every other shot?

Does anyone really believe that this girl is self-loathing and wants to crawl under a rock when she looks in the mirror? She looks like she’s pretty into herself right here, and she can’t fool us by saying it’s an act, because we’ve ALL seen Transformers and know that acting isn’t a skill she possesses…but then again (again) it might be the invisible man/woman under her dress.

(The picture that was supposed to be here didn’t load, oh well, I still have something to say about it.)

Really, Megan Fox, REALLY? If you can afford NOT to shop at Deb, then you really shouldn’t.  Hell, half of us that can only afford to shop at Deb still wouldn’t shop there. Personally I’d rather go garbage digging for clothes than ever wear such an atrocious dress. And AGAIN with the sex face! How can you expect people to take you seriously when you LITERALLY make love to the camera!?

I really don’t need to say anything about this one, do I?

Is it me, or does her chest size fluctuate more than Oprah’s weight?

And back to the cheesy  “might-have-bought-it-at-Greatglam” fashion.

I’m really feeling much better now that I got all of that out.

Here are some more horrendous trollops.

I can’t make fun of the wonky eye anymore, because I feel her pain, and I’m really glad that she is no longer having sex with cameras, but seriously, her face says “Paris isn’t here right now, please leave a message after the tone and if she ever returns from neverland she might get back to you.” YIKES!

Aw, it’s little miss never-ending identity crisis. Cute bangs… (wah-waaaah)

AND

Because I told you that I’m not afraid to admit when I’m jealous of someone, here are a few of those gorgeous ladies (not strippers, ladies) that I AM jealous of.

New Ashley, not Pieces of Meat Ashley

Shailene Woodley is freakin' adorable!

Anne, of course.

Could have been typecast, but proved herself to be a real actor! Amazing!

Everyone knows Demi is my favorite! She's so talented!

And Kate, who always looks amazing, and classy!

LOVE Mandy Moore!

How could I NOT be jealous?!

Naomi

Natalie Portman can pull of ANYTHING. THAT is something to be jealous of!

And of course, my IDOL Shannyn Sossamon.

All gorgeous ladies who know the difference between being in front of a camera and being on the Bunny Ranch.

GET IT?!

]]> http://ondeafears.com/2009/08/21/david-bowie-the-thin-white-duke-of-anachronism/ Sat, 22 Aug 2009 03:57:56 +0000 Gordon Winslow http://ondeafears.com/2009/08/21/david-bowie-the-thin-white-duke-of-anachronism/

A Knight’s Tale, starring the late Heath Ledger, is a love-it-or-hate it film. I fall in the “love” category–I thought it was well acted, clever, and, above all, charming beyond belief. Repeat viewings have only enhanced my appreciation.

One of the things those that fall into the “hate” category complain about is the film’s use of music. Rather than make some probably-futile attempt at recreating Medieval music, A Knight’s Tale instead sets its saga of action and romance to a soundtrack of 1970s (mostly) rock.

It is a bit jarring, upon first viewing, to see a crowd of rowdy peasants singing along with “We Will Rock You” as their favorite knights are about to joust. But it’s not a mere gimmick.

The scene that clues the audience in to what writer/director Brian Helgeland is up to is also perhaps the most memorable scene in the movie. To set the scene (very minor *spoiler*), the ill-born William (Ledger) is pretending to be a nobleman, and gets a chance to attend a dance with Lady Jocelyn (Shannyn Sossamon).

Not knowing how to dance, he has to fake it, with assistance from Jocelyn. As they begin to dance, the band strikes up period music. This music morphs into David Bowie’s “Golden Years” as the room takes up the dance.

The dancers aren’t hearing “Golden Years.” They’re hearing the period music, which would have had the same effect on their ears and feet as “Golden Years” has on ours. The jousting fans aren’t actually chanting “We Will Rock You,” but rather a fourteenth-century equivalent that we can never know.

(If the film clip gave you a hankering for the full-length version, you can listen to that here.)

Quentin Tarantino’s new film, Inglorious Basterds, also puts Bowie to memorable anachronistic use. The film’s soundtrack is mostly comprised of a score that references the period and Tarantino’s influences in making the film, but in one powerful, crucial sequence, he uses Bowie’s “Putting Out Fire.”

It’s a tremendously inspired creative choice. It will do to “Putting Out Fire” what some of Tarantino’s other films did to a number of obscure songs–be prepared to hear it a lot in the near future.

Why is David Bowie the go-to guy for anachronistic music? Was Tarantino inspired by A Knight’s Tale? I have no idea.

Notes:

• Technically, “Putting Out Fire” is “Cat People (Putting Out Fire).” It’s from the 1982 film Cat People starring Nastassja Kinski.
• Bowie re-recorded “Putting Out Fire” for his hit 1983 album, Let’s Dance. It’s not nearly as good, but it does have Stevie Ray Vaughan on guitar for those of you who like Stevie Ray Vaughan. You can hear that version here.
• My review of The Inglorious Bastards, the 1970s Italian war movie that inspired Inglorious Basterds, can be found here.

Don’t answer the phone with the creepy ring-tone! Regardless of whether your phone is smashed, dead or turned off this spirit will call and then collect.

Weird things start happening when a circle of friends begin receiving weird voice messages of their own last moments alive.  Dated in the near future, they try and avoid death while seeing weird people with burnt and mangled faces everywhere they go.  After their untimely demise, the spirit uses their phone to update its own contact list.

Its the usual ghost in the phone scenario, with limited gore and a surprisingly detailed plot .  Stand-out is when Beth has an encounter with a corpse in an air vent. 

Once the identity of the spirit is revealed, its all downhill- so enjoy the suspense while it lasts.

This movie is best watched at night but will make you think twice before using the door peephole again.

4/5

-Mrs Ford

Once again the video cuts of (or so I think it did). But basically I was rambling about how we all find out this Friday whose made it through the first cull of the CBBC entries for the Masterclass at the arse end of this month. Good luck to all my fellow Twitterers who have entered, wouldn’t it be great to get a healthy smattering of us in there!

Also this month I’m going to BUG at the Southbank which is an ace night dedicated to music videos and curated by the genius that is Adam Buxton. For anyone whose interested in decent, different and generally rather kickass music videos get yourself down there. It’s every other month and sells out quick but it’s well worth it. I missed the last one but this time there’s no stopping me.

Can’t remember if I mentioned it before the video cut out but Alice in Wonderland is being performed this month so if anyone has booked to come and see (or is indeed in the area) let me know so I can bob my head up and come and mumble hallo at you.

Other exciting things that have happened to me this month (well, possibly stretching back to last month seeing as we’ve taken a fresh step into a new one) have included booking tickets to go see Spiritualized, Grizzly Bear and Cinematic Orchestra. All of which make me cream myself with pure excitement. I’ve seen both Spiritualized and Cinematic Orchestra on many occasions but who cares, they’re flipping ace. Also wrote a piece about lusting after Shannyn Sossamon for a fellow Twitterer for a zine. That was extremely fun to do. Now got to crack on with my 15min play for the Offcut Festival and then I can crack on with the short story competitions I mentioned.

Can’t remember what else I had to tell you except I love it when you do that thing, yeah that thing. You look real hot when you do it. Just so you know.

Latoirs tiddleypeeps.

Marybeth (Kerry Washington) is a pre-op transsexual working as a prostitute and living with her lover, Benny, a small time burglar. In spite of their lines of work, they live a somewhat normal life as a married couple. Manny (Victor Rasuk) works two jobs: the late shift in an all night bodega surrounded by young junkies, drug dealers and prostitutes, and as a security guard in a Welfare hotel to provide for his family. Willy, ten years old, lives in the Welfare hotel with his sister, mother (Illeana Douglas) and her violent boyfriend, begging on the street so he and Susie can buy some fast food to eat. Romeo (Evan Ross), a street tough, roams the streets with his gang, terrorizing anyone who comes in his path.