Die umbaubaren Spielfiguren erobern die Leinwand. Michael Bay bringt Plastikspielzeug auf die Leinwand und macht daraus ein Effektspektakel, das von Action nur so strotzt, dafür wurde an der Story gespart. Gespart hat Bay aber nicht an Patriotismus und macht ganz nebenbei die U.S. Army zu den “wahren” Helden des Films.

Endlich darf sich Sam (Shia LaBoeuf) sein erstes Auto kaufen, der Haken an der Sache, sein Vater hat deutliche Grenzen nach oben gesetzt – schicke Sportwagen fallen da natürlich aus dem Raster. Sam findet aber auch beim Gebrauchtwagenhändler einen Wagen, der ihm gefällt. Wo der herkommt, weiß komischerweise keiner so genau. Wie der Händler es Sam predigt: “Der Wagen sucht sich den Fahrer aus.” So wörtlich meinte er es aber sicherlich nicht. Denn bei dem Auto handelt es sich in Wirklichkeit um einen außerirdischen Roboter, ein Autobot. Die befinden sich auf der Suche nach einem Würfel, der vor langer Zeit irgendwo auf der Erde versteckt wurde und insbesondere Optimus Prime, der Anführer der Autobots, fühlt sich für den Würfel verantwortlich. Diesen suchen auch die Gegner der Autobots – die Decepticons. Die gehen allerdings um einiges rabiater mit den Menschen um als die Verbündeten von Sams Auto. Doch vorerst weiß Sam nicht, was unter der Haube seines ersten Wagens steckt und will eigentlich nur sexy Mikaela (Megan Fox) beeindrucken. Zusammen geraten sie zwischen die Fronten und verlieben sich natürlich ineinander.

Die amerikanische Regierung versucht indes die Angriffe der Decepticons, ob auf offenem Feld oder über das Computernetzwerk zu bekämpfen. Doch bald bemerkt der Verteidigungsminister (Jon Voigt), dass wichtige Fakten bisher unter Verschluss geblieben sind. Über mehrere Umwege finden er, Sam, Mikaela und der U.S. Marine Cpt. Lennox (Josh Duhamel) zusammen, um im finalen Kampf in den Straßen von Los Angeles den Würfel zu zerstören und somit für Frieden zu sorgen.

Die Geschichte ist wie oben erwähnt ziemlich banal und vorhersehbar, der Film richtet sich eben eher an ein junges Publikum. Immerhin die Action und Effekte packen wirklich jeden. Insbesondere die Transformationen der Riesenroboter aus einem LKW, Panzer oder einem Kampfjet sehen hervorragend aus, wobei die Laufbewegungen etwas unbeholfen werden. Problematischer sind allerdings die Versuche Bays, Dramatik in den Kampf zwischen den Außerirdischen zu schaffen. Denn dann kann selbst ein junger Zuschauer nicht darüber hinwegsehen, dass es sich eigentlich um Spielzeug handelt.

[Bumblebee drives Sam and Mikaela through a tunnel]
Mikaela: [in the back seat] This car’s a pretty good driver.
Sam Witwicky: [in the passenger seat] Yeah.
[looks at the empty driver's seat]
Sam Witwicky: Why don’t you go sit on that seat there?
Mikaela: I’m not gonna sit on that seat. He’s driving.
Sam Witwicky: Yeah. You’re right. You know, maybe you should sit on my lap.
Mikaela: Why?
Sam Witwicky: Well, I have the only seat belt here. Safety first.
Mikaela: Yeah. Right.
[Mikaela moves from the back seat to Sam's lap]
Sam Witwicky: See? That’s better.
Mikaela: You know, that seat belt thing was a pretty smooth move.
Sam Witwicky: Thank you.
————————-
Optimus Prime: Sam, I owe you my life. We are in your debt.
————————-
Sam Witwicky: [to a crippled Bumblebee] I’m not going to leave you!

Quelle: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0418279/quotes

Viel schlimmer gerät aber einmal mehr bei Bay der Versuch amerikanischen Patriotismus heroisch darzustellen. “Listen to me, you’re a soldier now!”, wie Lennox pathetisch Sam entgegenruft. Tatsächlich macht Bay beste Werbung für das amerikanische Militär. Zwar sterben einige Soldaten, der Trupp unter Lennox bleibt bis zum Ende jedoch ohne große Verluste. Auch die vollkommen überflüssigen Zeitlupen (die verlängern immerhin die Laufzeit des Films) bringen lediglich die Effekte noch besser zur Geltung – oder Megan Fox, die sich bestenfalls als Schmuckstück in einer Vitrine bezeichnen lässt. Auch Jungstar Shia LaBoeuf dient wohl eher als Lockmittel für junge Mädels, denn als kommender Schauspieler. Zugegebenermaßen lässt das Drehbuch aber auch kaum Zeit, den Figuren Charakterzüge aufzudrücken. Alle bleiben blass und kommen nicht über die abgezielten Stereotype heraus.

Vollkommen daneben sind die Szenen, in denen Sams Eltern sich in allen Regeln der Kunst blamieren dürfen. Ob sich der Vater spießig gibt, wenn Sam auf seinen wohl gehegten Rasen tritt oder ihn in aller Sorge rät, einem Agenten keine Antworten zu geben, bevor sie keinen Anwalt neben sich haben, die Palette ist in allen Vorurteilen vertreten. Fakt ist, die Eltern sind Sam im besten Fall peinlich. Wenn man soweit gehen will und interpretiert, ist das eben die Sicht der pubertierenden Teenager – Eltern sind eben einfach doof.

Transformers bietet inhaltlich nicht viel. Dafür kracht es an allen Ecken und Enden, Action gibt es genug. Gut ist die in den meisten Fällen auch. Besonders das Finale bietet einiges an wunderbaren Special Effects, da geben sich die Roboter ebenso wenig wie die Filmmacher. Der Humor ist aber selbst für die engere Zielgruppe (etwa 12-18 Jahre) viel zu platt und kann nur selten tatsächlich für Lacher sorgen, meist eher unfreiwillig. Gutes Popcornkino, ohne sich dabei Gedanken machen zu müssen, bietet der Film aber allemal.

Dream Works y Paramount presentan una película de Michael Bay… 

TRANSFORMERS: The Revenge of the Fallen

Cartelera Tranformers II

Trama

Despidiéndose de su familia y novia, Sam Witwicky parte a la universidad donde intentará olvidarse de su pasado y vivir una vida normal. Sin embargo, cuando el mal vuelve a acechar, Sam empieza a tener visiones que ya no puede seguir ignorando. Nuevamente se encuentra en medio de la batalla entre los Autobots y los Deceptions, y sólo él tiene la clave para el triunfo…

Reparto 

Actores protagonistas de la película

Por más información visite la Página Oficial o su version en Español.

Película pronto disponible en dvd

The folks over at The Sword are very concerned about this question.  Now, I’m not one of the many people who think he’s totally hot, but I’m pandering to them with this post. So…

First, Shia tells Playboy he’s not that well-endowed:

Getting naked was very strange. It was the first time I’d been naked in the light, in front of a girl, with no hiding place. I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie. It put her at a weird angle, where I couldn’t get in correctly. I’m not extremely well-endowed … and clearly this wasn’t the move.

Second, they’ve found pix that they say “beg to differ.”

All The World’s A Stage Runway [Jezebel]

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

I’d been looking forward to this for a long time. From the very first photos that leaked out onto the net, to the wild conspiracy theories that plagued the movie’s development about everything from the script to the number of robots to potential deaths. Everything was primed (excuse the pun) and as I stood in the queue with a couple of mates for the cinema having driven there with Lion’s theme song blaring out the speakers on repeat, I felt utterly psyched.

So does Transformers 2 deliver?

The answer, for my money is a resounding yes. There are more robots. More humour. More of the fights and the spectacular pyrotechnics that made the first one so very awesome. I sat there begging for Optimus Prime to unleash the fury. And I got exactly what I wanted. The plot, what there is of it, is really very straightforward. Prime and the Autobots, with help from a handful of Americans, are busy hunting down Decepticons on Earth. The opening twenty minutes involves a tac team of robots (How cool does that sound?!) basically kicking the shit out of Shanghai. And other robots. Megatron is at the bottom of the sea, but back on Cybertron there’s a bigger bad. A metallically bearded fiend named The Fallen. Anyway, the Decepticons revive Megatron and the Fallen decides that he wants to harvest the Sun. In the meantime, Sam (a frenetic Shia LaBoeuf) finds a shard of the AllSpark and manages to get the location of an energon source burned into his brain. What follows is essentially a massive capture the flag game (with Sam as the flag) as the Decepticons try and find the energon to power the Sun Harvester, but involving massive transforming robots, humans with tanks, guns, explosions, the desecration of several Wonders of the Ancient World. Oh, and Megan Fox.

What’s your favourite kind of number? PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!

Prime now has double swords. Bumblebee kicks ass. There are robots beating the crap out of other robots. There are humans beating the crap out of robots. There are quick one-liners and reams of banter. The pace never lets up. Yes, it’s film-by-numbers. Yes, it’s big and loud and mindless. Yes, it’s pure escapist fantasy. And I loved it. The entire cinema loved it. People laughed. People gasped. There were guys on the edge of their seats whispering ‘More!’ and weeping with delight. And Michael Bay delivered. He pledged to make everything bigger. To make everything more badass. And he did.

This brings me to the main crux of this post: the reaction from the critics. As I type Transformers 2 has amassed a 30% rating on RottenTomatoes with many of the reviewers positioning themselves on high and handing out heavy lightning bolts dripping with condescension. The Daily Mail called it ‘big, noisy junk’, although this is hardly surprising considering the average age of your Mail reader is around 50, incontinent and feel threatened by microwaves. But some of the other reviews were disappointing to say the least. ‘Boring’? No. ‘Preposterous nonsense’? Maybe. But that’s what the best escapism is.

Pearl Harbor (you have no idea how much it grates the English student in me to have to leave the ‘u’ out there) sucked because it was marketed as this huge epic of war, love, betrayal and…..it was none of those things. We always knew exactly what this movie was going to be. Bay and his production team themselves had already flung the doors to this movie wide open. What irritates me is the tone of these reviews because it derives from critical snootiness. What pisses these critics off is that this is film-making at its most simplistic: Pick an audience. Blow shit up. Make lots of money. There are films made expressely with women in mind. Films designed for the family market. There are countless little indie films out there for little audiences about quirky romance and random offbeat humour. There are films for gun nuts and films for sexual deviants. There are gross-out comedies and weepy tearjerkers. There are films to make you scared, happy and sad. There are films to ake you crap your pants and bust a lung, sometimes at the same time. So why the hell shouldn’t there be a film like this one. I’d like to say something profound about how memories of childhood are precious and we should hold onto them and embrace the things that….blah blah…..the bottom line is that, for myself and my compatriots that night, we got back that childlike excitement. For two and a half hours I didn’t have a care in the world.

Grave digging: Bay style……with robots.

 And I’ve never felt so psyched after a movie. So full of adrenaline. No film has ever made me so excited for such a long time after viewing. Some of the reviewers weren’t far off when they termed it ‘pulverising’. But, verbal presentation being everything, I’d prefer to go with ‘a cavalcade of spectacular delights;.Now I realise that this might say more about me than the film, but I don’t care. If the critics didn’t get a kick out of Transformers 2 then I can’t really slam a personal opinion. But in the midst of blockbuster season, to castigate it outright smacks of pomposity and arrogance. Maybe they’re hurt to not be part of its target audience. Maybe their parents never sprung for an Optimus Prime bedside lamp. Maybe it’s simply the fact that they know whatever they say that this movie is going to make big bucks. But if it does then it’s because there’s a market for it. A market that I’m actually really glad to be a part of. If you can’t find the fun in a movie about enormous transforming robots blowing stuff up then don’t watch it. But try not to ruin it for everyone else. This is an entertainment industry after all.

 More than meets the eye? No. But when it looks this good, there really doesn’t need to be.

The Short Version: Michael Bay does spectacle, again. But better. This is a film about massive robots beating the crap out of other robots. If that sounds cool to you in any way, shape or form then I suggest you watch this movie, preferably on the biggest screen you can find. Switch off your brain for a change, forget the crumbling economy, and simply bask in the epileptic carnival.

 Temperature: HOT!

 

Los Angeles, CA—August 13, 2009 – Stan Bush, the Emmy Award-winning singer and songwriter famed for Shia LaBoeuf’s favorite song, Transformers anthem “The Touch,” is now the proud endorsee of Greg Bennett Guitars. His new guitar, The Greg Bennett ROYALE 3, winner of the “Editor’s Pick Award” from Guitar Player Magazine, is now accompanying Bush on all of his upcoming gigs.
“It’s a great honor to endorse and play a guitar with such an amazing tone,” said Bush.
The ROYALE addresses the performance shortcomings of this great design. The sides and center block are made from one piece of wood, creating a more rigid structure for mounting the neck, top and back. The result is uncommon attack and sustain, without sacrificing the rich, full tone, making it more like a solid body with incredible tone, warmth and fullness.
For more information on Stan Bush, please visit http://www.stanbush.com and for more information on Greg Bennett Guitars, please visit http://www.gregbennettguitars.com.

Media Contacts:
Denise Dorman/Publicist
denise@writebrainmedia.com
Phone: 630.845.4694
Terri Hartman/Publicist
terri@hartmanmediagroup.com
Phone: 813.767.7915

-30-

The people who put together movie trailers really don’t get enough credit.  Seriously, putting together a bunch of clips to a probably shitty movie, and making it look good? That’s a gift.  And so it is with New York, I Love You, a movie comprised of a series of vignettes directed by a series of directors, staring a series of actors — all set in the city of New York. An idea completely ripped off of the delightfully charming Paris, Je T’aime.  New York, I Love you has a lot of buzz around it — but not exactly good buzz.  In fact, it’s generally agreed that this movie is going to kind of suck hard when it comes out this autumn. And yet, after watching this trailer, I will see it.

New York, I Love You trailer, I love you.  Let me count the ways: Natalie Portman, Shia LaBouef, Bradley Cooper, Central Park in the fall, Phoenix on the soundtrack…

For kicks and giggles, the trailer for Paris, Je T’aime (which also starred Natalie Portman):

It’s not often that Hasbro brings us a human figure from the Transformers Universe, but here’s a look at the human/robot pair up from Michael Bay’s film franchise:

Now in a 2-pack, the Bumblebee and Sam Witwicky figures interact with each other and you can keep your Sam on Bumblebee’s shoulder in robot mode, or switch to a vehicle to put Sam in the driver’s seat. It’s an awesome set for fans of the film.

And you can check out more Transformers figures over in our online store.

He is the new, fresh “IT” guy.

Handsome, young and healthy, right?

He’s about to light up and snag a drag.  What a drag.

Star Shia Smoking

More pics of Shia smoking here!

Went to the cinema with Davina, Deena, Frankie and Mel to see Transformers 2.  Against type, I a) did not fall asleep, and b) did not tweet once during the film!  So it was a reasonable success, despite the film being 2 and a half hours long and having far too many robot-on-robot fights.  It only really came alive for me during the human fights.  And the whole saying “I love you” business was a bit ridiculous. There was also a Martine McCutcheon moment when one of the male characters (I like to think it was Josh Duhamel, but correct me if I’m mistaken) said “This is my moment”.  I whisper-sang “This is my perfect moment” and we all CDFU!  Occasionally I am comedic, yes.

The highlight of the film for me, as a 99% gay male, was the sexuality exuded by Megan Fox.  Yes, Isabel Lucas positively burned the screen during her time, but her role had me solely whisper-yelling “Slut!” at the screen (which I guess was the purpose of it, so well done Michael Bay).  But Megan Fox, despite not really displaying her acting chops (I presume she does have some), was pure fire.  Look at this bish:

Megan Fox + car

Yes.  Yes yes yes.  Jessica Alba, you have some competition.  Beyoncé, move to the back of the class.  Ciara… well, I still love you.  But Megan Fox was scorching!  The other 1% of my sexuality was very satisfied during this film.  I prefer her to Angelina Jolie, for realz.  So my review of Transformers 2 was a surprising thumbs up! Not the best film I’ve ever seen, but certainly exceeded my low expectations.

Looking at Megan Fox (and trying my hardest not to compare her with mismatch Shia LaBoeuf – seriously, on what universe?!) got me thinking on the nature of beauty.  But that is a whole other post, because I don’t want this to be a super-epic-thon like the last two.  But apart from being super-obsessed with my looks and my weight and my body and my clothes and my perfume, I wanted to know, what makes me feel beautiful / handsome?  Well… many things.  But what makes me feel attractive or sexy or handsome without requiring the validation of someone else?  Tonight, these things made me feel good:

• Riding home in Davina’s car with the window all the way down and the wind blowing through my hair and on my skin.
• Singing along to Toni Braxton – “Hit The Freeway” – it’s been a long time since I’ve heard that song without me being the one playing it!
• The city lights shining in a twilight sky.
• Spending a lovely evening with friends.

Sometimes, more really is more.  But at other times the cliché holds true, and it is the simple things that really make you (or at least me) sit up and appreciate the good things in life.  Because when there’s so much negativity in the world on a daily basis, we all have to take what we can get!  So I am taking as much as I can, and I hope that you do too. Goodnight folks

Voto: 5 (su 10) 

Più Steven Spielberg e meno Michael Bay. Questo più o meno era stato il giudizio quasi unanime sul primo Transformers, in cui il papà di E.T. figurava come produttore e il tonitruante regista di Armageddon e Pearl Harbor era al timone di comando. Bay era riuscito, forse proprio sotto l’egida del suo produttore, a confezionare un film meno scontato di quanto ci si potesse aspettare, carico di una sottile ironia e di una nostalgia per una commedia delicata, quella degli anni Ottanta, a cui il pubblico che era cresciuto con i Transformers – l’altro target del film insieme ai teenager – era abituato. Si respirava, nel film, quel candore e quello stupore verso la novità tipici di Spielberg, fanciullino per eccellenza del cinema.

Una delle regole di Hollywood è che una formula vincente non si cambia. Non si capisce allora come mai in questo secondo episodio della franchise tratta dai giocattoli Hasbro ci sia stato un  mutamento di rotta così deciso. Forse secondo la Hasbro nel primo episodio i robot non si vedevano abbastanza? O forse Michael Bay non è rimasto soddisfatto dalle recensioni di quel film, che attribuivano al tocco magico di Spielberg gran parte del successo? O infine, il sequel di Transformers è stato messo in piedi e realizzato per seguire di due anni esatti il primo film, con l’effetto di un lavoro frettoloso? Come dice una canzone, la risposta soffia nel vento. Fatto sta che Transformers – La vendetta del caduto è puro cinema alla Michael Bay, cioè quello che temevamo fosse già il primo episodio: oltre due ore di esplosioni, combattimenti, salti da una parte all’altra del mondo. Proprio come se Bay ci tenesse a ribadire che si tratta di un suo film (vedi anche le citazioni da Bad Boys e Pearl Harbor, fatte senza alcuna autoironia, a differenza di quelle presenti in Transformers). Ma anche la tesi della fretta cattiva consigliera avrebbe un suo senso. La sceneggiatura si muove incerta, e si basa sulla storia che un vecchio Prime (un capo) Decepticon (le macchine cattive) sia rimasto sepolto in Egitto e che venga risvegliato dai suoi discendenti per portare la distruzione. Tutto questo mentre Sam Witvicky (Shia LaBoeuf) sta per andare all’università, tra mille difficoltà con i genitori e la fidanzata Mikaela (Megan Fox).

La sceneggiatura, che era il punto forte del primo film, è la zavorra di questo secondo. Da quei toni delicati da commedia adolescenziale anni Ottanta si è passati a quelli delle commedie scollacciate di oggi, alla American Pie (si notino i penosi siparietti tra Sam e i suoi genitori, tra casa e università, nella prima parte del film), che non si amalgamano per niente con quelli seriosi delle vicende dei robot, che assumono una matrice fantasy e una solennità che non servivano a questo tipo di film. A proposito di fretta: anche le scene in computer grafica dei combattimenti tra robot sembrano fatte con minor cura rispetto al primo Transformers: in particolare, in alcune scene, creature di varie tonnellate sembrano muoversi come fuscelli, non avere pesantezza, il che rende tutto meno credibile. Si aggiunga il fatto che molte scene rimandano a cose già viste (la donna robot ricorda Terminator 3, le sonde messe nel corpo di Sam rimandano a Matrix, l’inizio sembra preso da 10.000 a.C. di Emmerich) e che la scena finale di oltre quaranta minuti sfida ogni regola di cinema a proposito di sceneggiatura e climax narrativo, si capisce come questo secondo Transformers sia un passo indietro, che resetta tutto ciò che di buono era stato fatto nel primo. Siccome è inevitabile il terzo capitolo della serie, speriamo che il produttore corra ai ripari. Spielberg, pensaci tu.

Da non vedere perché: il film giocattolo stavolta diverte di meno. Più che la mano di Spielberg c’è quella (pesante) di Michael Bay

(Michael Bay, USA 2009)

Con Transformers (2007) il regista americano Michael Bay aveva raggiunto forse uno dei punti più alti della sua personalissima poetica dell’action-movie.  Il mix di avventura, spettacolarità, effettoni, sani valori americani (con tanto di maschilismo imperante) e ironia era perfettamente equilibrato, e reso ancora più gustoso dal tocco spielberghiano della produzione.  L’inevitabile seguito, La vendetta del caduto, ci riporta alla dura realtà: due ore e mezza (argh) di inaffrontabile accozzaglia di botti ed esplosioni, con un’estenuante clangore di lamiere (il numero dei robot implicati è, manco a dirlo, quintuplicato), un citazionismo fine a se stesso (King Kong, Indiana Jones…) e mai un momento divertente. Neppure Laboeuf, solitamente a suo agio nei panni dell’eroe per caso, riesce a salvare la baracca. Eppure Bay sembra proprio divertirsi, disinvolto com’è nel correr dietro ai soldati yankees con la camera a mano o a riprendere la Fox al tramonto in controluce. Un passo falso anche per la premiata ditta degli sceneggiatori Kurtzman & Orci, di cui abbiamo da poco potuto apprezzare il lavoro nel fantastico Star Trek.

Trailer

With Michael Bay you don’t expect Oscar quality acting, writing or directing, and how this film delivers. It’s a sexist, mysoginistic, jingoistic, overlong pile of threadbare junk. Can I just say again HOW LONG IS THIS FILM?!!! I feel like I’m still recovering from two and a half wasted hours, which at least were more consistent than Terminator Salvation, but that’s hardly saying much. It at least was aware that it was bubblegum nonsense with no plot and aimed only to cocktease early male teens (cf. Megan Fox). It was at least aware that it had truly outstanding FX. But two and a half hours to get from LaBoeuf goes to college, Optimus Prime falls, Decepticons’ real plans revealed, to Optimus Prime reborn?! Shocking. I’m not sure how much further I can take the synopsis because that’s really all there is, barely acted and indulgently directed.

The constant breast shots grate. The constant self-referencing by Bay irritates. The absence of a plot bores. But Bay has made more watchable films before, and with less material. I liked The Island, despite its self-indulgences, and there are admittedly comparisons to be made. Both have two wildly conflicting subplots which are difficult to reconcile (and in RotF aren’t adequately reconciled), both have actors struggling to hit the A-list who don’t quite make it. But The Island seemed to have a hint of a heart, which Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen does not. It’s not because the main characters are CGI (which as I said really is outstanding and indeed the Optimus Prime character does have a heart), it’s down to a serious failing in the acting and directing. Fox is ridiculous from beginning to end, and although LaBoeuf is still being bigged up as The Next Big Thing he really doesn’t wear it well. But Bay also indulges in Terminator’s biggest failing – concentrating on getting the set pieces working well at the cost of character and story. Lots of bombs, repeated shots of military hardware and crumbling pyramids pad out over half an hour, when all the Decepticons want to do is destroy the sun. A cartoon could have got that in half an hour.

I’m not saying it’s not entertaining – it is, but for diehards or big kids (and not in a good way if the audience I was in is any indication) with money to spare only.

Warning: may contain spoilers.

What made Michael Bay’s initial live-action adaptation of Hasbro’s toy line- turned-80’s-era-cartoon series Transformers so (guilt-pleasuringly) enjoyable was not just the way he managed to have real-life vehicles transform on-screen into humanoid robots (and vice versa) look so convincing,  he even gets these verbose hunks o’ metal to show a comic side.  Sure enough, the multi-million ka-chings in box offices around the world have not only made the world safe for giant-robot movies (hmmm…where’s Tobey Maguire’s mulled Robotech adaptation????) but also turned Disney-channel alum Shia LaBoeuf into a bonafide teen idol (not to mention making Megan Fox a self-minted sex symbol for the geek set)

This time around, in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, it seems that chinks are already showing in the armor.  Continuing from the first movie, Sam Witwicky (LaBoeuf) is seen off to college, but not after nearly ripping up his folks’ home to shreds once again when his keepsake shard of the Allspark falls into the kitchen, turning the home appliances into mini-Transformers.  Reveling in his newly-found independence, Sam proceeds to distance himself from Mikaela (Fox), whose way with engines makes her useful in her father’s custom-bike shop.  There he gets himself a roommate in Leo (Ramon Rodriguez,  looking like Matthew McConaughey’s kid brother),  a self-styled online mini-mogul trafficking in cute-kitty calendars and caught-on-video conspiracies, as well as the (unwanted) attraction of the campus hot chick (Aussie newcomer Isabel Lucas)

As Bumblebee has to contend with a lower profile in Sam’s college life, his Autobot allies had to content with the collateral damage from a Shanghai skirmish that has their Diego Garcia-based joint exercises (with a US military contingent led by Josh Duhamel’s Cpl. Lennox character) censured by a senior bureaucrat.

Meanwhile, back at Cybertron, The Fallen gets restless and maps out his plan to seek vengeance upon Optimus Prime for what he had done to Megatron.  He sends the panther-like Ravager to Earth (through Soundwave -  now an orbiting satellite -  a clever nod to the cartoon series, where Ravager was a cassette tape), where he finds out that Sam holds the key in unlocking a device built millenia ago when Cybertron troops first attempted to colonise the Earth – an immense gun concealed in one of Egypt’s Pyramids, intent on destroying our Sun to mine Energon, a mineral upon which Cybertron’s inhabitants get their sustenance from.

Soon enough, a reluctant Witwicky (along with his even more reluctant parents) find themselves dragged into the Autobots vs. Decepticons conflict part deux.  Along the way, they meet up with former Decepticon Jetfire (a SR-71 with the voice and posture of a British WWI veteran) and  Simmons (John Turturro) who has fallen from heading a high-security-clearance government agency to schlepping out at his mom’s butcher shop (while carrying on with his X-files paranoid ramblings).

The evolution of JetFire (original Transformers cartoon, Transformers Armada version and artist rendering of final film version)

The Autobots may have missed Jazz (who was knocked off in one of the first film’s climactic battles) but they have able replacement(s) in the form of “the Twins” – aka Skid and Mudflap, whose “ghetto-kid” banter have unfortunately drawn comparisons with the infamous Gungan “pseudo-Rastafarian” Jar Jar Binks from George Lucas’ Star Wars prequels.   Sure, Jazz was also protrayed with a characteristic African-American “cool” ‘tude, but The Twins come off a tad too stereotypical with the jug ears and Skid’s gold tooth (good thing they did not go as far as putting thick lips or king-sized bling bling).

The "Twins" - Skid (green) and Mudflap (red-brown)

Needless to say, the robot fights are just as impressive as in the initial installment, particularly the forest fight where Optimus Prime nearly pawns Starscream with his arm-mounted blades (as well as in the aforementioned Shanghai skirmish).

The new robots are just as impressive (especially Autobots Sideswipe and Arcee) but definitely owning them is Devastator – formed from the union of all five Constructicons;  it’s a pity he gets pawned big-time by a ship-mounted railgun.  Can’t help but notice how Decepticon Wheelie – taking the form of a R/C 4X4 truck – resembles the titular hero of Disney/Pixar’s Wall-E when he takes on ‘bot form.

Separated at birth (or is it creation?)

Unfortunate racial stereotypes aside, I was a bit surprised that there were a number of cuss words (including references to Devastator’s “balls” as well as females of the canine specie) in a movie whose primary aim is to draw a whole lot of kids into cinema seats.  Let’s not get into the dorm scene where Leo’s leggy hot chick gets poor Sam into bed (much to the horror of a visiting Mikaela).  Maybe it was just a way to up the “eewww” count from the first (who couldn’t forget Bumblebee “pissing” on Agent Simmons???) but a similar scene turns up where Mamma Witwicky unwittingly helps herself to the contents of a dimebag on her son’s new campus.

Character-wise…well, this is a Transformers film,  so definitely,  humans are officially an afterthought (even if they prove to be valuable allies to the Autobots’ battle against the Decepticons.)   Somehow,  much missed in the whole affair is Anthony Anderson’s small-time hacker as well as Jon Voight’s US President (this installment recognizes the current Obama leadership, so Voight’s absence is all moot.)   Michael Bay, ever the conscious hack, never seems to have learned his lesson from Pearl Harbor, so he proceeds to slather cheese all over Sam & Mikaela’s relationship (cue in sun-backlit shot of Mikaela as she implores a near-dying Sam not to give up).

What made the first Transformers film memorable was the budding sense of cooperation between the humans and the robots (not to mention the latter picking up human characteristics).  Then again, if Skid and Mudflap are any indicator,  maybe Optimus Prime may change his mind and consider taking his whole troop back to Cybertron.

moviesMovie reviews

Today I’m handing over this blog to a review of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, by Sam Mendelson of the Huffington Post.

I do this because I loathed the first Transformers movie, whose effects were meant to inspire awe, but in fact the only awe I felt was at how stupid, ignorant, gullible, and undereducated younger audiences must be nowadays to allow Hollywood PR people and marketing guys to manipulate them regularly into paying to see such garbage. 

Well, here we are for round two. The sequel’s arrived, kids will flock to it – natch – and once again a whole generation, already reeling from the insipid, one-note nothingness that is the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus, will be dumbed down another notch. And because they’re now so numb to what’s going on, they won’t realize how they’ve been duped. 

The review is here. Read and enjoy.

www.cashpeters.com

Aujourd’hui est sorti Transformers 2 : La Revanche, la suite de Transformers sorti il y a deux ans et qui mettait en vedette Shia Laboeuf et la sublime Megan Fox. Le premier film avait rencontré un succès important, redorant par la-même l’image un peu effacée des voitures transformables et j’ai pu assister à l’avant-première de cette suite et je ne vais pas tourner autour du pot en disant que cette suite est de même acabit que le premier mais en mieux.

Des Transformers encore plus impressionnants, des scènes d’action encore plus palpitantes, une Megan Fox toujours aussi ravissante, cette suite est dans la lignée du précédent et les moyens pour en faire un blockbuster made in U.S.A. ne manquent pas. Je ne vais pas vous raconter quoi que ce soit sur le film pour éviter les spoilers mais je vous conseille fortement d’aller dans les salles obscures pour 2 heures 30 d’action.

Et à partir de samedi et jusqu’au vendredi 3 juillet, la Fête du Cinéma fait son grand retour : cependant, s’il faut toujours payer une place plein tarif avant d’avoir droit à une réduction sur les autres films, le prix des places supplémentaires a augmenté de 50 % en passant de 2 à 3 € ! Certes, cette Fête du Cinéma s’étend sur trois jours supplémentaires (habituellement, elle se terminait le mardi afin de faire des films sortant le lendemain des films où il faut payer plein pot pour le voir), mais l’inflation sur les places est juste incompréhensible. Et après on parle de crise…

Revenge of the Fallen leaves its predecessor looking like a tempered masterpiece of screenwriting, with pace and character-driven drama. It depends on LOUD NOISES to keep its audiences awake through 150 minutes of computer-generated robot wrestling. Cheap doilies of exposition are lewdly draped over its hulk: a vain effort to conjure an illusion of modesty. It has been built around effects sequences and shots of military hardware. Less has definitely been proven more: the effects were built up with some kind of anticipation in the first outing, but here they explode in your face from the word go. But R.o.t.F. does live up quite well to the original source; from a toys and games cool-factor perspective, it might be quite satisfying. And there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with shallow action. Although a persuasive review here demonstrates that even on these lowest of standards, the film comprehensively disappoints.

But Michael Bay has no aesthetic sensibility, just a pornographer’s eye. His fascistic fetishisation of soldiery comes with a macho grunt; his sexual and racial politics are neanderthal: directly and symbolically communicated in his style, ‘fucking the frame‘. He apparently went to the ‘salty garbage‘ school of female characterisation. Part one actually presented Mikaela (Megan Fox) as some sort of person; here she is basted like pizza in a Hut advert: served as an ingredient, in a recipe for maximum return on investment. Some sadness for Shia LaBoeuf must be acknowledged, because (contrary to Mark Kermode’s claim that he’s a “charisma vacuum”) he is actually a very talented and interesting performer to watch, and he does his best with this drivel. As he puts it himself, “whatever minimum characterisation stuff you get to do, you’re very grateful for it…it’s not being driven by the characters; they are almost being used as signholders for the next action scene“. Yes, the human element is greased up and bent over, wiggled promiscuously as Bay puts on his rubber gloves. And how could I leave out the “cybernetic minstrel show” that is Mudflap & Skids? Merely the icing on this monstrous neocolonialist cake.

Transformers is a product-oriented children’s franchise, and so the cinema crowds are full of kids, young boys and girls (an audience 46% female), who are having this repulsive filth crammed in their ears, burned on their retinas. Who I fear for. Boycott the film, to undermine the financial incentives behind this stuff.

NB: Although if you insist on going, you’ll be glad to know that all the noise will drown out your incessantly popcorn-munching pituitarily disadvantaged peers.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Dir. Michael Bay, Writ. Kruger, Orci & Kurtzman, Star. Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox & John Turturro, Dreamworks, USA, 2009

Anyone who has known me for longer than about half an hour will be painfully aware that when it comes to tragic obsessions, mine is not football, celebrities, nor even one of The Trilogies of Sauron or Sith. No, my own personal albatross is that of the Cybertronian War between Autobot and Decepticon. I forget the point in my early childhood that the Robotic Rubik’s Cubes stole my attention, but it was over two decades ago now, and is hardly likely to fade overnight.

The reason I mention this blinkered bias is that instinctively I would want to give Michael Bay’s “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” a carte blanche; an unflinching five out of fanboy-five, and so it pains me that I feel unable to do so.

Set two years after the original Bay Blockbuster, we find Shia LaBoeuf’s Sam about to embark on a new life in college. Autobot guardian Bumblebee appears to have found a comfortable existence in the Witwicky’s garage, so is understandably upset to learn that not only can he no longer doss down, but student vehicles are banned on campus. Unbeknownst to them, Sam still has a fragment of the first film’s Maguffin (the AllSpark) in an old pocket. Once the evil Decepticons get wind of this, inevitably, robo-carnage shortly follows.

To go any further into describing the plot would be a wasted effort: not least of all because there is hardly any to speak of, and what there is makes little or no sense to even the hardened Geewunner. When Bay’s first Transformers movie was released in 2007, heated discussions soaked up bloggers’ bandwidth all around the world as most audiences were divided between the two opinions: “this film is stupid – it sucks!” and “this film is stupid – it’s awesome!” Whatever your personal position was after seeing the first one, simply dig your heels in, strengthen your resolve, and prepare to not have your mind changed at all.

Michael Bay and his creative team have been variously quoted as describing “Revenge..” as “more of the same” and that is a perfectly succinct description of this movie – there really is more of every element from the original – More robots! More fighting! More US Military-Porn! More babes! More explosions! More awkward “comedy”! More nods to the fanboys!

If I sound scathing or cynical, I hasten to clarify myself: the action sequences in this film truly are breathtaking, and they are the best example of CGI work to date – these are not Robot Jox’s stop-motion plastic toys, these are back-flipping, sword-fighting agile creatures, rendered in many thousands of points of articulation that will most likely not find an equal or peer in the cinema this year. Bay has played on his reputation as The Exploder of Things for some time now, and in this film he explodes things like no other director can – “Revenge..” finds the time to tour the entire globe, and then blow it up; stopping off in Shanghai, Paris, Washington, Egypt, and countless other backdrops for flawlessly choreographed destruction.

One aspect of the “MORE!” philosophy that genuinely grates was the level of schoolboy humour that is prevalent. Arguably the film is designed for a target audience of pre-pubescent 15 year old boys, but seeing a RC truck-former dry humping Megan Fox’s leg, or farting a ball of gas as it transforms, not to mention giant Gestalt-former Devastator’s vast, clanking testicles: I have no doubt there are audiences out there that will enjoy these lapses into the playground, but the moments sit uncomfortably in between epic shots of aircraft carriers being blown to pieces, nuclear subs being casually tossed out of the ocean, and one of the Wonders of the World being clawed to rubble.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a very long, very loud, and very stupid work of cinema – to that end, it is exactly what people would have wanted from a sequel to the 2007 film. Take a cushion for your seat and leave your brain at home for the evening. Niggles and quibbles aside, it is 150minutes of sensory overload that will leave your head spinning and your ears ringing.

Make sure you see it on the biggest screen you can, and that includes getting to the limited run in the IMAX if at all possible.

…also marks the birth of Twilight, the book! I’ve been meaning to set up a little Twilight blog for myself for a while now and I thought what better day to do it than today. Fans who read Stephenie Meyer’s site (i.e. all of them…) will know that June 2nd (2003) was the day when she woke up from her dream about a girl and a vampire. Serious Twi-hard info, I know, but I can’t help it if I just absorb these things! I’m actually surprised that I haven’t seen it mentioned on my usual Twilight blog rounds today. What’s that all about, eh!? I guess people are still preoccupied by the MTV Movie Awards sweep and resulting photos/videos/’OME they hooked up!?’ threads. Personally, my favourite part of the night is a toss up between Shia TheBeef trying (read: failing) to pronounce Cam Gigandet and Kristen smashing her award with serious finesse. My least favourite, on the other hand, was probably the moment I realised Catherine Hardwicke was wearing what looked like a see-through-panelled skirt. Why!? I’ve made no secret of my delight at Chris Weitz replacing her as director but that just sealed the deal! Was it really see-through? I’m so judgemental…

Anyway, it would appear that it’s actually 2.30 am and so technically not June 2nd anymore. I’m still in a Tuesday frame of mind though, so it’s fine. I imagine that if I had company right now, someone would probably make a clichéd joke about Twilighters being awake at night to look for vampires or something…

Yawn.

L’affronto vivente al buongusto qui sopra ritratto si chiama Chris Palko, in arte Cage. La foto risale a una decina di anni fa. Erano i tempi in cui l’abuso di LSD lo aveva portato a credere di essere Alex di Arancia Meccanica, girava con “disturbati” irrecuperabili tipo Necro, accusava insensatamente Eminem di copiare il suo stile e sprecava il proprio talento, trovandosi più spesso coinvolto in risse e spedizioni semi-punitive contro sfigati del suo livello che in buoni progetti musicali. Insomma il classico cattivo ragazza sulla strada della perdizione. Fino al 2005, quando la Def-Jux di El-P non investì in lui e gli diede la possibilità di pubblicare Hell’s Winter, un ottimo disco, sinceramente autobiografico, prodotto e rappato nel migliore dei modi.
Nel frattempo Cage si è dato una ripulita, e la sua storia di adolescente problematico cresciuto oltreoceano (è nato a Wurzburg dove il padre svolgeva servizio presso una base aerea americna) a stretto contatto con droghe e psicosi di varia natura, ha inspiegabilmente incuriosito Shia Laboeuf – il finto ragazzino di Transformers – il quale vorrebbe addirittura farne un film da lui diretto.

Al momento però i due hanno collaborato soltanto al video del nuovo singolo di Cage, in cui il nostro pare essere uscito da una centrifuga sottoculturale, sfoggiando un total look indie-post-rock-ish in linea col mood un po’ Anticoneggiante del pezzo.
Il mio giudizio sul video lo sintetizzerei così: “una cagata pazzesca”. Tuttavia il pezzo non è malaccio quindi eccolo qui.