This is pure GOLD(berg)! To view more, go to whoopiwhoopi.tumblr.com

This is something I’ve been contemplating for the past couple of weeks. Now typically when I wake up in the morning I hit the snooze button, on average, 10-15 times. See I’d rather lay in bed with my eyes closed and constantly hit the snooze, than get 30 minutes more sleep and have to jump out of bed when my alarm goes off.

So do you snooze? How many times do you hit the button? Am I crazy? I don’t think so. Most people do this right?

I always knew that top plug was sly..

I’ll give my comments in the form of a Drake flow:

Drizzy Drake slept with her after the song, Coat room.

The video has 200 likes and 1 dislike, Rihanna.

Celebs hittin’ up local restaurant buffets, Recession.

Dee was sweatin’ Drake the entire song, Change ya panties.

Karaoke with random strangers, Bill Murray.

]]> http://hungoverthoughts.com/2011/12/26/i-need-two-things-post-christmas-a-cat-and-this-dj-cat-scratch-table/ Mon, 26 Dec 2011 14:07:48 +0000 MMango http://hungoverthoughts.com/2011/12/26/i-need-two-things-post-christmas-a-cat-and-this-dj-cat-scratch-table/

I’m completely willing to return all of the amazing gifts my family gave me just to work up enough cash to buy a cat and then subsequently buy this DJ cat toy. I can picture it now, me and Mr Scribbles (that’s what I just named that cat I’m going to buy) will be sitting on the couch, me with a glass of whiskey and him with a sprig of catnip, listening to Ma$e’s Feel So Good and timely hitting the turntable at the most appropriate parts. It’s like a match made in heaven.

Skip it?

Creepy Crawlers?

Gak Pak?

Super Soaker?

Talk Boy?

My Little Pony?

Goosebumps?

Nerf Bow & Arrow?

Vortex?

A Beeper?

Seriously I can’t even choose, and I hate ending this list so early. I’ve owned everything on this list (with the exception of My Little Pony… maybe) so yes, that means I did own a beeper, and I may or may have not worn it completely visible to the public to look cool. I’m not confirming or denying that last statement. Anyway, what would I choose? I have no fucking clue. I’d probably have to go with the Nerf Bow & Arrow. Just ask Elizadeath, because I’m pretty sure I shot her with that bow and arrow a good 300 times over the course of our childhood.

If you think I’m not learning this song and dance for our New Year’s Eve party this year, you clearly don’t know me at all.

DON’T buy your favorite book or movie: I’m sure you’re one of the coolest people in your office and you read the best books and watch the best movies, but that by no means gives you the right to wrap up season 1 of Glee and try to give it to someone in your office. Just because you love it, doesn’t mean Ralph in Accounting is going to go crazy when he hears a kid in a wheelchair singing Irreplaceable on Beyonce week.

DO buy alcohol: Nips are the best bet because you can get a wide variety for cheap. Maybe your office isn’t as lenient as mine, but if there’s one thing that EVERYONE loves, it’s booze. Well unless of course you’re in a office full of recovering alcoholics. In that case, still buy the booze, but a get a camera, sit back, and watch the fun unfold.

DON’T buy clothing of any sort: Do you really want to be labeled as that office’s crazy aunt who gives you the same turtleneck sweater every year? I didn’t think so. Keep your fashion sense to the Style network. Unless of course you’re buying a kitten mumu, then all bets are off.

DO buy the latest “As Seen on TV” gift: Sure Snuggie’s sound like a joke, but tell me it’s not amazing. My 2nd office Yankee swap, 3 people bought Snuggies and they caused a fight like fat kids in a buffet. What to get this year? Sure you could get the knock off Snuggie, Forever Lazy. But I still think a year later, the Shake Weight is the gift of choice.

Hopefully this little list was helpful and you can rock your office’s Yankee swap!

Holy Mary, mother of God.

TVLine.com — After weeks of negotiations, Chris Meloni is officially joining True Blood as a series regular in Season 5.

According to executive producer Alan Ball, the former Law & Order: SVU front man will play, ”An ancient, powerful vampire who holds the fate of Bill and Eric in his hands.”

Wha wha whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!

Are you shitting me, HBO…cause if you are, I will murder you in your sleep.

This is seriously more exciting than a negative pregnancy test (although, if I was fortunate enough to knock boots with Christopher Meloni, I might re-write that statement).

Let’s take a look back at Meloni’s career so we can get a better sense of what he’s going to bring to the set of True Blood…

Law & Order: SVU: Badassery…and lots of it. Just straight kicking ass and taking names. Oh, and a soft-spot for girls that remind him of his daughter. Maybe he’ll take Jessica under his wing?

Wet Hot American Summer: midriff tops, fridge humping, and all things American. I feel like that’s pretty standard in Louisiana, right?

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay: oh fuck no.

Oz: man-on-man action and lots of dick. That’s nothing new to the world of True Blood, so I’m in.

#5 – Baby pig in mud boots:

This has to be the most stylish and high-maintenance porker on the farm. Shit, I bet her (it’s gotta be a girl) hooves are painted too, like a boss.

#4 – Polar Bear Conehead:

I don’t even want to ask the question, but how did he get the cone on his head in the first place? He must’ve danced all night in Vegas at Tao with a bunch of fat chicks and then went outside to get some air and thought it would be funny to put a cone on his head… wait, no. That was my cousin Charlie.

#3 – FAT CAT:

Holy shit that’s a big pussy!

#2 – Pug slippers:

Fucking pugs. They’re always at the forefront of style. Who would’ve thought that wearing slippers with your own face on it would be cool? A pug, that’s who. I for one am taking a note from this guy and getting a t-shirt silk screened with my face on it. Here’s just a sneak peak at the trend I’m about to start.

#1 – Pizza Cat:

If there was any animal that could top that stylish pug you know it would have to be a cat. This cat, who I just nick-named Dylan, is high as shit. Dylan snuck a few hits off a gravity bong when his owner wasn’t looking. There’s only one thing that could satisfy Dylan’s craving, and that’s cat nip… but since that wasn’t available, pizza will have to do.

Honorable mention- The photobombing cat:

Apparently Will contacted Pabst Brewing Co. asking to shoot some free commercials for the beer. The above shorts are what happened and they’re legit TV spots for the brand. Unfortunately they’re only being shown in Davenport right now but I would be shocked if this didn’t roll out to a national campaign in the next week. Pure marketing GOLD. Like I said: I’m a believer. But I guess it doesn’t really take much to convince me. Beer + Ron Burgundy’s voice = my life.

Get it? They changed “ING” to “FUCKING”. It’s funny. LAUGH.

Submitted by Amy from Amsterdam

(That’s my sister, go sis!)

According to this map, I went from being pretentious to being a pseudo-intellectual hipster. That’s a burn to be grouped in that garbage, but living in these areas, I can certainly say that these are spot on. Of course I could argue some of these stereotypes, but the area I can’t disagree with is Western Mass.. because who really cares?

Granted if I had my choice, I’d just take the overarching stereotype of Massachusetts: Bad Drivers.

I mean, is there anything — and I mean anything — that makes you feel more festive and ready for the holiday than this video? I can’t help but feel inspired by the true Christmas spirit just oozing from these two dancers. I DARE you to find me a video on the interwebs that would make Baby Jesus more proud…cause I promise you it does not exist.

MMango: I love this video except for one small part. When dude lifts his leg up and slowly spins… being completely honest, I can’t help but stare at his taint. I’m like a fucking deer in headlights over here. I’m trying to not look but I goddammit I CAN’T!

This here is definitely a front runner for an ugly Christmas sweater. Oh nothing to see here, just a festive  cop with a Santa hat pepper spraying Baby Jesus. Talk about being up with the times! Occupy Jerusalem! Where my 3 Kings at!?

If you don’t take advantage of this deal, I might slap you silly and give you a wedgie. My fingers are crossed it works for their bikes too…

Tom Selleck

Eddie Murphy

Jason Lee

Burt Reynolds

Cary Elwes

John Oates

I’m sorry I had to share these with you… More mustaches next year!

Ladies and gentlemen: BURT REYNOLDS!

What. A. STUD.

See you next Movember!

Nothing to see here, just a cat sitting on the stairs crossing its legs. But to be honest, I can’t stop thinking of one song to go with this picture.. and that is Brandy.

I also have no qualms about the fact that I come across as a totally crazy cat lady with the amount of kitten images/videos I’ve been posting lately. I love cats cause they’re not needy. Looking at kittens is like watching a really bad reality TV show; it’s a nice escape from my everyday life.

Sadly, Movember is coming to a close and I for one am extremely sad about it. You’d be surprised how fun it is to troll the internet looking for mustache savvy celebrities that are worthy of being highlighted for a day. In order to lift your spirits (and mine), today’s stache goes to none other than Carlton Banks!

And if you thought you I was going to leave out the Carlton dance, then you my friend are just crazy.

bonus!

I classed it up, toasting with a mug of pinot noir (yes, a coffee mug) and MMango a bottle of champagne…the champagne of beers, that is.

cheers!

slainte!

See how happy we are??

Naturally after toasting how awesome we are, we started to get a little loopy…and maybe just a little bit tipsy.

So we started doing this:

oh no you don't girl!

no, no, no!

Which made us laugh:

real special

Which made us even loopier and caused us to get real weird:

creepin

inception

aarrrgghhh!

Well maybe it was just MMango that got weird.

Anyways, thanks for being fans of MDHT and helping to be part of such a kick ass accomplishment!

MMango: I get weird, deal with it. But yes, thanks to all of our loyal followers, we couldn’t have done it without you. Can’t wait for the 1 million mark party that we’ll probably hit in the year 2035!

Also, this is my Cyber Monday/leftover Black Friday steal:

Yep, the Morning After Clutch in mustard yellow suede. I’m dying. Can’t wait for it to arrive.

Anyone else find any goodies today?