Last week, in a fit of insanity, I ventured out for Black Friday. At an unreasonable hour in the middle of the night, I left my warm bed and joined members of the hunter-gatherer tribe who were looking for a doorbuster buy. I typically don’t have the patience for long shopping lines and I especially don’t like watching civilized men and women fight each other over Mr. Squiggles, the Zhu Zhu Pets Hamster and latest shopping fad. Public rudeness dampens my holiday spirit and threatens to destroy my cherished illusions about the basic decency of the human race. I’d rather be chained to my chimney in the middle of an ice storm or forced to eat a pound of fruitcake. 

But venture out, I did. Armed with a thermos of coffee and a Black Friday app on my phone, I went to the stores that I thought would be overlooked by the daring souls who were running with the bulls at Toys R Us and Target and Best Buy. I found my way to Macy’s Department Store where, thankfully, the crowds were fairly thin. I hadn’t been there long at all when I heard someone yelling out, “Help me! Somebody help!” Around the corner, an older, heavy-set lady was in trouble on the escalator. Carrying her consumer cargo like a pack mule, she had somehow lost her balance and had taken a nasty fall backwards. We stopped the escalator and because of the way she was positioned (feet up, head down, lying backwards) I held her head up until she could move. The only problem was, she couldn’t move. She told me she had just recovered from a broken leg and recently had back surgery. She couldn’t help herself up and didn’t think she could put any weight on her leg. Meanwhile, the fallen shopper was getting light-headed and her hands started to shake. While we waited for a chair and some water, she said to the woman standing above us on the escalator:

“Sis, you there?”

“I’m right here.”

“I’m going to be ok. Just give me a minute.”

“We need to go home. We’ve done enough for one day.”

“No! No! Go on up and get those shirts you wanted. I’m going to be fine. You get those shirts. I want you to get those shirts!”

I had to admire her composure. The injured woman had the presence of mind to realize a good buy was still within reach. Even had she lost life and limb, her one final act would have been a brave one: encouraging her sister to go on in the great consumer quest to find a bargain. I guess this is what it means to “shop til you drop”.

Last year I decided I was no longer buying presents for my cousins’ children. I hardly ever see them (except for holidays or their birthdays), and their parents – my cousins – can’t be bothered to send me a card/email/FB wall post for my birthday. Now, I’m the oldest cousin, and all through college, I sent them birthday cards, Halloween cards, Christmas cards, Valentine’s Day cards, Easter cards, just-for-fun cards, and ten-page letters. I got letters back and Christmas cards. Eventually (ten years later, and after we all had email but still didn’t write) I stopped.

Then they had kids. At first I sent cards and gifts, but I never got a thank you note, or even an email letting me know the gift arrived. (I started using Delivery Confirmation.) Now that those girls are old enough to write, still they don’t send thank yous. (My mom still sends gifts; I don’t know why. Probably because she doesn’t have her own grandchildren, but that’s her own fault and another story for another day. You reap what you sow.) Two more cousins have had babies in the past two years, and at first I bought them presents, but combined with the other, last year I realized, “Why?”

So today I am not spending five hours in a car driving to and from BFE for a first birthday party. Am I being stingy, or am I justified?

They say “you get what you give” (you reap what you sow?), but what about when you give money and time for years and years and get nothing in return? That’s why I’m now giving what they gave me: Nothing.

Sunshine and I both love to read. In college we spent hours browsing for new books at Borders. Now that we live on opposite ends of the country, we still find books that we know the other will like. (Books can be expensive to mail unless you remember to use Media Mail!)

Sunshine’s latest recommendation was The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane by Katherine Howe. I just finished it, and it was phenomenal. It’s the kind of book you don’t want to end. I’ve come to realize I really enjoy historical fiction. This one uses the witches of Salem as its central theme. It bounces back between the past and the present to solve a mystery. In that regard it reminded me so much of one of my favorite books, The Virgin Blue by Tracy Chevalier. (I liked it a thousand times more than Girl With a Pearl Earring, which is good, too.) I can’t understand why the bookseller at Barnes and Noble told me she had a hard time getting into it, and she had to put it down several times because it was boring. I love Barnes and Noble, but obviously my friends know me better – I’ll take Sunshine’s recommendations any day!

So I guess next I should read Julie and Julia which Sunshine sent to me before she knew it was going to be a movie. She’s a literary savant!

So it’s 5:24 am on the day after Thanksgiving.  BLACK FRIDAY!  The stores are teaming with avid, somewhat deranged, shoppers…. or so I’ve been told! Stores are giving away $1,000 gift certificates, 2,000 inch big screens for 49 cents, free popcorn, $10 off your $11 purchase, yada, yada, yada.  I’m only up because I was coughing so violently, I didn’t want to wake up and keep up my also sickly husband, who is snoring quite comfortably at the moment.  I’m drinking tea.  THAT is a tell-tale sign that I’m not well.  I only drink tea when I don’t feel up to my usual perky self.

Rick and I did get up at 5:00 am on BLACK FRIDAY three years ago, but it was not to shop and SAVE SAVE SAVE.  He had surgery #3 on his Achilles tendon at 7:00 am downtown.  I remember driving by the packed parking lot in front of Circuit City and wondering who came up with midnight shopping???  It’s crazy.  It’s only the crazy people who shop when they should be sleeping.  It’s the crazy people who come out at night when the moon in full.  Why would a store owner bend to the desires of the crazies?  And promote their uncouth crazy ways?

Now if the scrapbooking stores did the 3:00 am spend ten cents and get $400 worth of scrapping supplies, I’d be camping out in front of the store with my Coleman lantern, personal trimmer and pile of photos, rounding the corners for future pages.  But they don’t.  They’re not crazy.  See, this proves it that scrapbooking women are not crazy. 

OK, the bottom of my teacup is staring up at me.  I’m no longer coughing up a lung.  I can now go back to bed and dream of all the money I’m saving my husband by not participating in BLACK FRIDAY!  If you’re a CRAZY person, please let those of us who stayed in our warm beds know what we missed.

In my post on Monday, I made the statement:- “Compulsive shopping is virtually synonymous with overspending or overshopping; so I use the terms interchangeably here.”

Yesterday, I was talking with another Financial RecoverySM counsellor, Danielle Ray, (www.integrativefinancialcounseling.com) and she challenged this statement. Danielle said that people could overspend, unconsciously; but without the compulsion and need to shop, that characterises compulsive shoppers. She’s right and so I retract that statement!

I think that part of my “confusion” was that, as an overspender myself, whilst most of it was unconscious,( not being aware of how much money I had, nor how much I had spent) occasionally there were elements of compulsion as well. When I decided that I needed (or was that wanted? – watch for a future blog on this!)something, I could be compulsive in my pursuit of it. I would drive all over town if needbe, that very day, to purchase it. The “having to have it, and have it now” syndrome!

This has, of course, now been made so much easier for us all and, dare I say, more dangerous, with the advent of online shopping. We no longer need to put any pause between the thought and action, in this case shopping, before the transaction is complete. For this reason, I also advise my clients to use a debit card and not a credit card at all times. (I do this myself although have a CC which I use for business, but very seldom.) This means that they can still send flowers on Mother’s Day and still order tickets on the internet for concerts and movies, but all the money comes immediately out of their current account. Therefore, the shopping has to be all that more conscious, or if it isn’t, the consequences are much more immediate!

So, thank you Danielle, for making me think more clearly about this.

I have been promising a blog on compulsive shopping so, here goes. Compulsive shopping is virtually synonymous with overspending or overshopping; so I use the terms interchangeably here.

We’ve all laughed when someone says they’ve done some retail therapy or, they’ve shopped ’til they dropped! Let’s face it most of us have done it at one time or another, and no harm was done. However, for others, and for many years I was amongst them, it isn’t a laughing matter and harm is, or was done.

In her book, “To Buy or Not to Buy – Why we Overshop and How to Stop” April Lane Benson, a New York psychologist, specialising in the treatment of compulsive buying, says “……when we overshop, though we often don’t realize it, we are trying to fill emotional needs with material goods.” She goes on to say that:- “The conclusion is now inescapable: far from trivial, overshopping is an important source of emotional, social, occupational, financial and spiritual misery for a great many individuals and families.”

Mine was mostly financial although the sleepless nights, worrying how I was going to be able to pay my bills, took their physical toll at times.

So, the next time you laugh about someone’s retail therapy, just check in with yourself about whether this might, in actual fact, be something more. There is help available.

Just when you thought there could be no end to the fashion portmanteaus, here comes yet another: “man-gagement” rings. For some reason, several news outlets, including ABC News, reported last week that jewelers were noticing an uptick in men sporting engagement rings–it must have either been a slow news week, or writers were just itching to work in a pop culture reference to appear cool and clever. I must have counted at least three that referenced Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” song. You know the one.

The origins of this resurgence in men’s engagement rings seems to have been galvanized by Jennifer Hudson, the American Idol contestant-turned-Academy Award-winning actress who put a $15k Neil Lane ring on her fiance’s finger. Some sources say that men feel it’s only fair to get something nice after spending three months’ pay on an engagement ring for their partners, but others are saying that women are practically dragging their men to the jewelry store to get banded–much like a bear being tagged before getting released back into the wild. The “logic” is that once women accept a ring, they’re essentially marked “do not touch,” while their men are free to go gallivanting ring-free. Some men, however, just like the idea of having a symbol of their promise (aww) because they love their partners THIS MUCH. Whatever the case, you can bet these rings are made of manly-sounding, rugged materials, such as tungsten (yeah!), steel (hoo-ah!) and cobalt (effin’ A, yo).

The SK Cobalt “Braid” ring from Scott Kay

I’m all for the male engagement ring, only if my potential mate feels like having one, not because I want to mark my territory. I’m not a dog, for god’s sake, or a bitch, for that matter. But the idea of this trend as a new phenomenon is misleading; according to Moyen & Co. Jeweller, in some countries, both men and women wear engagement rings, and often the man’s ring serves a dual purpose as a wedding ring. And in Spain, women may buy their men nice watches as part of their engagement.

I’d be down with giving him a nice watch, but my boyfriend, Dr. J, has had the same watch since high school and has no desire to get another, which is fine by me. I think in general this whole jewelry industry is getting out of hand: “man-gagement” rings, promise rings, pre-engagement rings, even so-called “Right Hand” rings for ladies who want to declare their happiness as strong-minded, single–and apparently affluent–women. (Because, you know, nothing says “I’m independent” than listening to big jewelry companies tell them what they need to  buy to show the world just how independent they are. You go, girls!) I mean, is there no end to the types of women’s engagement rings out there? It’s absolutely mind-boggling!

Bottom line–if you want to get one for your fiance, and he actually wants one, then go for it. If not, more power to you. Either way, easy on the portmanteaus, and let’s avoid relying on trite pop lyrics to get the point across, shall we?

Hey there Wordsmith Laners, and welcome to another week of writing pain and gain here at Wordsmith Lane. Today I am indulging in a day off considering the forecasted Sydney weather (which didn’t turn out as hot as it was meant to be), and even though I am supposed to be doing uni work, I figure I’d get my wordsmith weekly pen going, especially considering I have been a very negligent blogger of late (more on that tomorrow — eek!). So without further ado, let’s check out what’s worth noting this week…

1. Sydney is in the midst of a supposed heatwave, which means sun, surf and sydney-summer style. I am personally not complaining, as I always look like a dag in winter and summer gives me the opportunity to rustle my fashion feathers a little bit. Today, I am wearing a floral playsuit that I bought online from topshop, silver witchery sandals that I am all-round obssessed with, and a fashion-forward fluro pink watch. The watch is my point of pride today, considering I paid a mere $20 for it, and then saw an identical one by ToyWatch in Shop Til You Drop for $345 or so. Bloody Brilliant.

2. Christmas Gift Guides have hit the glossies, and no one is more excited than I. My fave gift guides so far have been in Shop Til You Drop, madison and InStyle, and right now, I have my eye on a number of homewares more than anything else. Admittedly, half the time that I actually dog-ear pages in the gift guides of the glossies, it’s because I am lusting after something that I want, which is slightly off-putting considering I am supposed to be browsing for others. Though truth be told, I only ever gift a few people – my three siblings, my fiance, my aunt, and my God-Daughter. I used to try and gift mum and dad, but mum always returns the present and gives me a giftvoucher for the money. Apparently, I am at an age where I should be indulging my fancies instead of hers (though considering she was raised in virtual poverty for much of her life, she has never been much of a person indulged, and I’d rather be gifted with her selflessness — far more fitted to the season, me thinks).

3. Underdog writers such as ourselves might found solace in Sam Savage’s latest book, The Cry of the Sloth. Chronicling the writer’s life through the character Andrew Whittaker, who edits a small literary magazine, The Cry of the Sloth makes us little writers feel a teeny bit better for surviving on cheap wine, baked beans and maggi noodles (his staples are fried spam and vodka). Plus, it deals with the crushing moments that befall us all, writing or not writing, when we least expect them — un-cared for tenants, ex-wives wanting money, and the constant pursuit of hangers-on we don’t exactly have time for. A good read for when we’re feeling  like we’re slightly flailing, especially when we’re wondering if Andrew Whittaker’s set-up of a literary festival can save him…or plunge him further into a frustrated writers’ abyss.

3. I need a fairy godmother to help transform the pumpkin dresses I have been seeing of late into something a little more glamorous and right up my fashion-alley. You see, my parents have decided to throw a little dinner to celebrate my engagement. Although I am of the belief that engagements are personal and are supposed to be intimate, I am the first child in the family to be married and they’re a tad bit keen to share as much of the journey as possible. Unfortunately, this gives me more grief than pleasure at this stage – A), I can’t find a cocktail dress worth wearing that costs less than $400 (I have a wedding to save for!); B), I am a little concerned with the way that my loud, large Lebanese family will fare with James’ small, reserved Anglo one, and C) the guest list is already causing tension that I just do not have the time and effort to deal with in my post-hospitalisation state. Either way, this is one soiree that needs the perfect amount of style, smarts and savoir-faire if we are to call it a success.

5. Pretty things make every girl’s blue days seem a little brighter. In the weeks since I have come out of hospital, I have found solace in the smallest things. Today, it’s all about a smiley Reese Witherspoon on a festive InStye cover, and a pretty pink cupcake filled with cream. Coupled with the gorgeous teapot I’ve just bought from T2, it’s gonna make for a very relaxing afternoon.

How could I have not known about Modcloth? Not only are the clothes cute, but they also focus on independent designers, vintage pieces and innovative wares at fairly decent prices. Also, kudos to the site’s copywriters for coming up with clever descriptions and funny style names, which rely on puns and pop-culture references to get the point across, such as “This Tee is Grrrreat” tiger head-print shirt, the “Zig-a-zig Ah” printed dress, and the “Night at the Crops-bury” sequined cropped tank top. (Admittedly, they can get carried away sometimes, but the site is so fun it’s easy to overlook those moments.) Modcloth is like Anthropologie’s snarky, potentially dorkier younger sister–in fact, the site styles its clothes in true  Anthropologie.com fashion.

Here are just a few picks at the top of my wish list:

Checkpoint top and Amber Road coat

Timed Race watch necklace and Love is All Around wallet

Finally I got hold of the page I did for Shop til you Drop!

yay

The Garment District in Kendall Square, Cambridge, MA, gives new meaning to the phrase “rummage sale:”

It’s not the greatest photo in the world, but you don’t need a Nikon to figure out the gist of the place. This huge, two-story warehouse, located near MIT, is best known for its crazy selection of Halloween and costume gear, as well as nice vintage clothes. Its “clothes by the pound” setup on the ground floor, however, is a draw for most bargain shoppers who come here to find a steal–and a point of notoriety for germaphobic, hyperallergic shoppers who’d rather blind themselves with Purell than rifle through a pile of dirty clothes on the floor.

The concept sounds cool enough for a vintage/secondhand clothing buyer such as myself. You get a big plastic bag and you fill it up with stylish garments (admittedly of dubious origin), then you weigh the bag on a scale and pay $1 a pound. Not bad, right? I thought so myself, so I tried it one night during the Halloween costume rush.

At first, as I gingerly picked through the clothes, fearing that I’d come across some poop-stained pants (as one Yelper described in her experience at the Garment District), find some lice-ridden, moth-eaten sweater, or at the very least catch pinkeye from a jacket that had been passing through the Goodwill/Salvation Army/homeless shelter circuit since 1954. I tried not to think about what might be lurking underneath the mountain of clothes, or how long they’d been there, and instead focused on the task at hand: finding something, anything, that is remotely cute to make the experience–and risking catching a disease–all worth it.

After about fifteen minutes, I finally found an adorable cream secretary blouse in what looked to be my size. Score! Spurred on by the excitement of the find, I renewed my search for more clothes, digging a little more confidently and actually stepping into the middle of the mess to see if I’d missed anything.

Here’s the part where you’d expect a twist and I tell you I ended up finding a decomposing rat in a shoe, or a fellow shopper was struck dead by a massive asthma attack brought on by an ancient faux fur coat, or I that I really did catch pinkeye (it would serve me right, wouldn’t it?). No such luck, my friends. (I did, however, see several unfortunate Christmas sweaters, ill-fitting elastic-waist pants and more polyester than you could shake a stick at. That alone is tragic.)

My story has a rather mundane ending: I basically lost my nerve and took my slim pickings to the cash register. The grand total? 30 cents. While I couldn’t shake the feeling I had creepy crawlies on my clothes and hands when I walked out of the Garment District, I think I’ll be back again for round 2. Only maybe next time I’ll bring some latex gloves and maybe a face mask and goggles.

P.S. I’d show you a picture of what I bought, but I haven’t gotten around to irradiating the thing.

What: The Garment District
Where: 200 Broadway, Cambridge (Kendall Square); (617) 876-5230

…and found this cute little bank.

Check out the look of resignation on the male pig’s face! Poor bastard. I’d imagine that my lady readers will get a bigger kick out of this than my gentlemen readers–or perhaps the gentlemen can identify with said male pig?

My dear friend “Belle” turned me on to this crazy blog, Regretsy–am I the only one who hasn’t heard of this yet? For those who aren’t familiar with Etsy, it’s a largest e-marketplace for handmade crafts and vintage clothes, accessories and housewares–most of the offerings are pretty cute and stylish (hell, I’m addicted to it), but some of it…not so much. Hence the tagline, “Handmade? It looks like you made it with your feet.”

From tampon cozies crocheted out of thrift-store wool to a brooch made with a dead turtle claw (really, I’m not kidding) to a baby gown made out of a recycled Lil Kim t-shirt to fetus-shaped catnip toys, nothing completely off-the-cuff is safe from blogger Helen Killer’s hateration. Sure, it’s mean-spirited and juvenile, but I’ve gotta say–it’s pretty clever as far as its writing style goes. Insult comedy is great. You just need a thick skin to be on the receiving end, which maybe a lot of Etsy sellers and Regretsy haters don’t have.

And you know how they say even bad publicity is good publicity? A lot of these subjects of ridicule are flying off the virtual shelf–including said Lil Kim baby gown. Goes to show that there really is something for everyone on Etsy. Even  if that something is a crocheted meerkat Christmas nativity set.

My mom came to visit over Columbus Day weekend. We had a great time and did alo-hot of shopping. I have been doing a ton with coupons and rebates lately (extreme amounts of writing on that very soon), so we ended up getting a lot of good deals around town (My mom got a really nice suit for $33 at Macy’s, and I got 3 shirts at JC Penney for $15 and some Keebler Chips Deluxe cookies for 54 cents a pack at Target). The most enjoyable time, though, was Eastern Market, a farmer’s/flea/artist’s market in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of Wahington D.C. Tom and I went a bunch of times over the summer because it’s a nice outdoor activity and the fresh fruit is excellent.  This time, I wanted to get a pumpkin to cook with and show my mom the wares of the unique vendors that set up shop there.

The place was in full autumn swing with tons and tons of apples, squash, and decorative pumpkins. Apparently you have to get there very early in the morning to get really good pumpkins to cook with, but one farmer did have one he said he would be okay for a pie, so for $3.50 it was mine.

Mom loved all the handmade jewelry and bought several pieces. She attempted to buy me some funky handmade shirts, but sadly they looked like tents on me . Oh well!

Shopping is not Luke’s favorite activity (although he was a fan of the apple cider samples available from a few cider salespeople). He does love the outdoors, though, and had a grand ol’ time pushing his stroller up and down the brick streets. Luckily, Tom did not mind watching him do this over and over, which gave Mom and I even more shopping freedom. What a good daddy/hubby!

I am excited to cook things with my pumpkin, although slightly nervous that I will ruin a perfectly good fall vegetable. We’ll see what happens!

]]> http://liekie.wordpress.com/2009/10/04/hollandse-erwtensoep-in-berlijn/ Sun, 04 Oct 2009 19:38:40 +0000 Liekie http://liekie.wordpress.com/2009/10/04/hollandse-erwtensoep-in-berlijn/ http://liekie.wordpress.com/2009/08/27/nieuw-speledingetje/ Wed, 26 Aug 2009 22:09:42 +0000 Liekie http://liekie.wordpress.com/2009/08/27/nieuw-speledingetje/ http://sassisamblog.com/2009/08/06/30-days-of-fun/ Thu, 06 Aug 2009 04:17:19 +0000 sassisam http://sassisamblog.com/2009/08/06/30-days-of-fun/

It’s that time of year again girls, 30 Days of Fashion & Beauty starts this September and over 100 events in Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane are available for registration RIGHT NOW, so get online and start booking your favourite events.

There is something for everyone and this year 30 Days has an exciting new event on the calendar:  Magazines Go Live; a three-day festival of fashion, beauty, music and celebrity.

The three-day non-stop whirl of style, beauty and celebrity for consumers (ie. that means us) will be held from September 11 to 13 at the Royal Hall of Industries, Entertainment Quarter in Sydney’s Moore Park.

Magazines Go Live brings the pages of Australia’s best women’s lifestyle and fashion magazines to life through magazine runway shows every hour.  The setting for the shows will be a centrally built, 36 metre long catwalk right down the centre of the venue.  Magazines Go Live will also include free beauty makeovers including hair, cosmetics and manicures, live music acts every day from some of Australia’s favourite artists, meet & greets plus signings with designers, editors and celebrities complete with expert tips and tricks.

Magazines Go Live also features ‘Backstage Live’ a specially designed backstage pod, with two clear glass walls allowing consumers to watch the 20 catwalk models preparing for the shows plus a bar and combined 800-seat lounge areas so big and impressive, consumers won’t want to leave!

Our favourite magazines participating include Harpers Bazaar, Grazia, The Australian Women’s Weekly, Madison , Shop Til You Drop, Cosmopolitan, Cleo and Dolly.

There are a tonne of free and paid events to go to so check their calendar and book your spots right now so you’re not disappointed.

You can also enter to win some amazing giveaways and make sure you follow 30 Days on Twitter and friend them on facebook to stay in the know.

And stay tuned as I will have some exciting news for you next week.

As I always say, have fun being girlie!

Love,
Sassi
Your Pop Culture Gossip Girl

detta halsband som jag suktat efter länge ska bli mitt denna månad. beställde det idag så snart pryder det min hals. jag köpte mitt på http://www.bettiesgalleria.com.

acne eller scorett

GE MIG 2500
(att lägga på en underbar kofta, tack.)

kolla så snygg den är på underbart vackra ELIN KLING
från acne. såklart!

Shopaholic dies under weight of purchases.

PARFYM.SE

vad tycker ni om mina nya solglajjor? jag älskar dem. de är ju i guld ffs.