The Daily Mail seems to be obsessed with women’s shopping and spending habits of late and now it reports that Karen Pine, author of Sheconomics (women + money) says shopping is an emotional outlet for women.

Apparently 80% of women fess up to hitting the shops to make themselves feel better, while other women use money as a security blanket- saving every scrap of disposable income, and are dubbed saveorexics.

Pine reportedly reckons that women are more risk-averse and less financially savvy than men (really?) and importantly are more emotionally involved with their money.

The article cited examples of ‘fantasy savers’ who spend well above their means to buy designer goods as they are locked in a ‘cycle of competition’ with others as to who has the best clothes.

Fear also apparently plays a part in women’s relationship with their savings. Maybe this is because the importance of being financially independent has been drummed into generations of girls. So-called ‘saveorexics’ keep a grasp on every penny they earn, shunning fashion treats.

Interestingly, while women are often labelled as impulse shoppers, a TNS poll found that men are more likely to blow a cash windfall on treats, while women will probably squirrel the money away.

It got us thinking about how different women shop. Personally I love browsing through ‘edits’ online where all the best pieces are grouped together and I’m a big planner – saving up for some ‘investment’ items I plan to keep until they fall apart, as well as searching for trend-sensitive fast fashion pieces to make old favourites more current.

You know how we hate the shopaholic label and think women are far savvier shoppers than clichés suggest – . Here are a few suggestions of new ‘labels’ – are any of them you?!

Salary splurger – The one who goes crazy on pay day.

Red-hot researcher – The one who pores over blogs and reads every magazine – she’ll know every trend and be able to spot amazing look-a-like designer items on the high street. Shopping is as much about the chase and knowledge as it is about buying stuff!

Saveorexic – She’s obsessed with saving every penny for a rainy day and eschewing fashion treats. (Check wardrobe for holey clothes decades old – and we don’t mean vintage!)

Fast-fashion freak – She never spends more than £30 on an item of clothing and shops by the latest trends. It’s all about the quantity, not quality!

Bargain hunter – Will only buy stuff that has a reduced label – whether she wanted it in the first place or not!

Emotional spender – She goes shopping when really happy or really sad and spends a LOT of money

Designer junkee – Labels only – no matter what the cost!

The up-shopper – The one who adds cheap accessories to their shopping basket…and the bill mounts up.

Impulse queen – Her wardrobe is full of clothes with the labels still on as she’s randomly picked clothing without thinking about how it fits in her current wardrobe.

Trend magpie – Her wardobe bulges with every fad going regardless of whether it suits her personality and body shape.

We’re launching our visual search and bodyshape tools soon to help, but why not tell us how you like to shop?

Assuming you’ve worked your way through the entire Shopping Habits Series you would ideally be spending more time with your stuff and less time out acquiring more. {assuming}

So now what?

This is not a cleaning blog, it’s a clutter blog. And yet, here I am bringing up the topic of dusting.

Over the years clients have requested tips on how to maintain their decluttered space, while I’m happy to remind them of the strategies they’ve learned in our work together I also teach them how to incorporate appreciation into their routine.

Dusting Hard Earned Purchases

First rule of thumb for anyone who has decluttered a horizontal space {think counter, bookshelf, mantel} is to get comfortable with the emptiness.

Sure, you can have a few items on display as long as you’re able to:

• put your hand, in a balled up fist, between each item
• perform light dusting when someone is about to stop by
• tell the story of each item :: how you came to own it & why it is important enough to display

Dusting Your Pride

It is so easy to get pulled back into those old habits, especially around the holidays. Sometimes, leaving your ego at the door is easier said than done.

As marketing campaigns swirl around you and everyone gets caught up in the frenzy, return to what you’ve learned. Keep the cobwebs at bay mentally by dusting off those key shopping questions and being honest with yourself.

Honor what you own

Finally, discover your “enough“. Knowing where your “enough” level is, can help guide you in the right direction.

• Do we have enough pots & pans?
• Am I already getting enough magazines?
• Are the blankets we own enough for our needs?

Of course, there’ll always be that one thing that sends you over capacity. Don’t worry. No one is perfect. Just keep asking yourself the enough dusting questions.

On a more personal note, dusting is not one of my favorite chores to do … but I understand the need for it. One way I get over the resistance is to keep the dusting supplies at the ready, in our laundry room. Well, except for the mental dusting, those supplies are usually hidden VERY deep in my day to day choices.

I truly hope this series has helped shed some light on your shopping habits and how you will move forward in the coming weeks, months and years.

Comment below or over on The Mental Clutter Coach Facebook Page …

What kind of dusting habits do you have?

So, what do I mean by destination?

Well, if you think about it, the word destination is largely used to explain travel.

Where you’re going, where you’ll end up, where you’re headed.

Right?

Now, let’s turn it on it’s head a bit and think about your shopping habits ~ more specifically :: your purchases.

When you acquire an item, whether by paying for it or receiving it for free, this item will now have a destination. Regardless of whether you know where to put it or not.

Enter ~ piles of clutter, stacks of miscellaneous items, leaning towers of … [fill in the blank].

Yes. I’ve seen ‘em all. Surprisingly, I can walk a client through a timeline in their life by simply asking about the item at the foundation of the pile, stack or tower.

Sometimes the answer is “oh, I remember, that was when my Mom got sick …” other times it’s “yeah, my neighbor gave me that and I didn’t know what to do with it“.

Harmless actions of “I’ll just put it here for now” turn into a cluttered space in no time. Oh, in case you’re wondering, yes dust bunnies are a close second cousin to clutter.

Destination Challenge of the Week

• Survey your surroundings
• Focus on cluttered areas.
• Do they have an item near the bottom that you’re not sure where it belongs?
• Have you missed this item? {meaning, could you actually discard it all together?}
• When would you have time to deal with that particular pile, stack or tower?
• Are you motivated to deal with it?

Now, here’s the hard part. If you’re not motivated to deal with it ~ then don’t. {trust me, many organizing experts just gasped!}

Seriously, if you’re not ready for the project it will seem like watching molasses drip from a jar. Don’t do it.

Once you are ready though, you’ll be revving to go. And it will literally take you any where from 10 minutes to a few hours, depending on the size of your (eh-hum) collection.

Where organizing experts come into the picture is when you are ready to deal with it but you need help determining destination or possibly help staying on task. When you’ve hit that stage, email me and I’ll help you find a qualified pro.

Destination Homework

A mantra I coach clients early in their declutter efforts is

from here forward

meaning :: it takes a lot of energy to go back and fix the result of old habits … so, in the meantime focus on what you can do differently from here forward.

Steps for Destination Shopping Habits:

1. Ooh, I love that!
2. Wow, I can afford it!
3. Okay, where will it live?
4. Can I put it there right now?

See? Easy Peasy!

Don’t worry, I heard your groan when you read #4. That’s the step that helps keep you from continuing the cycle.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this series and plan to share your progress with me on The Mental Clutter Coach Facebook Page, no matter when you’ve decided to improve your shopping habits!

Would love to know how you handle the destination of your stuff now ~ do you have any good tips you could share?

Interestingly, the way that men shop and cook is often quite different to not only the way that married men and single women do, but is also at odds with some popular beliefs and traditional assumptions. Having said which, it is true that twice as many men as women choose takeaway food as a dinner substitute, and the most popular takeaways are Indian and Chinese. This is one myth that is rooted firmly in fact.

Shopping

But there are some interesting facts that have come to light after some recent research looked into the cooking and shopping habits of this growing proportion of the populations. For example, most women buy their shopping based on habit. They tend to buy things that they always buy, getting the same sort of things each week. Single men on the other hand tend to plan their shopping much more.

Thinking about meals, ingredients and compiling a list might seem more the sort of thing our mothers might have been good at doing, and whether it is down to a lack of confidence in making their minds up when actually at the shops, or just a deep seated need to plan and be prepared is hard to say, but certainly research has shown single men to be the more planned shoppers. They also tend to use convenience stores and local shops more than single women do, who tend to use the larger supermarkets more for their shopping.

A fact, which will startle many marketing firms, is that when shopping in supermarkets or convenience stores, only 4% of men expressed any interest at all in promotions or offers which were for non-food products. Household goods seem to be a blind spot for most single men who prefer to go for these items on purpose rather than being spontaneous when presented with a good deal. The most popular deal with single men is the ‘buy one get one free’, for fairly obvious reasons.

It might be assumed that single men tend to have fairly bland or repetitive diets, but in fact the opposite is true. Research has shown that most single men actually crave variety, and will go to friends for suggestions as their first port of call. Single women tend to go to their mothers and to cook books for ideas and suggestions, but men tend to draw on ideas from their social network, and actually seem to be quite keen to have a variety of dishes and flavours rather than the commonly held belief that it’s curry every night.

In fact, research has gone on to demonstrate that single men prefer traditional British food rather than Indian or Chinese, turning this myth completely on its head. So, rather than stereotyping single men in ways we often see on television, this research has shown the growing proportion of single male shoppers is a market well worth a second look.

Men and Their Shopping Habits – Some Interesting Facts

However, there is one point I’d like to make …

No one actually lives there

Let me explain

Beautifully hopeful, right?

What you see in the storage ad:

• the clear surfaces
• the clutter free floor
• the spacious file holder
• the hooks for everyone’s things
• the cubbyholes and decor
• and even an umbrella holder!

What the organizing expert sees in the storage ad:

• No one will ever be able to get the drawers open, due to the pile of shoes that will collect in front of them.
• That bench will only be sat on for the first few weeks, until the kids fill up the hooks and begin dropping their jackets ~ backpacks ~ athletic gear ~ on it
• Since the door opens in a direction that the hooks (above the umbrella) are inaccessible they will rarely be used
• The file holder will become the ultimate abyss for all things paper (and then some)
• The decor will be too difficult to access (partly because of the cluttered floor, partly because of the impracticality) so it will eventually just contribute to the cluttered feel of the entryway

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

streamlined, right?

What you see:

• space
• color
• order

What the organizing expert sees:

• where’s the rest of the wardrobe?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What you think:

• bliss.
• laundry finally complete

What an organizing expert thinks:

• It will never look like that, ever.

Insert ::

• Piles of laundry?
• Paper towel roll on the holder?
• Detergent in the canisters?
• Baskets overflowing with dirty laundry?
• Counters you can’t see?

Now what?

Remember back to the Start at the Beginning exercise? Challenging your imagination … in healthy ways? Storage ad, aisles, magazines or stores are not the place to escape your clutter. Try these steps instead ::

1. declutter your space
2. determine what actually lives in there (and what can be relocated, donated or thrown away)
3. ask what your typical habits are :: do you / your family tend to toss, throw, drop their items? Would they really put things on hooks, shelves, in drawers? How can you capture their natural tendencies?
4. measure the space, then begin formulating a plan before you even look online or go to the store
5. shop from a sense of direction inspired by your space not the storage solutions that look pretty or promise to do a job for you.
6. now you can begin looking at the beautiful, streamlined and sparse storage ad.

Post a picture of your favorite storage ad, comment with what you’ve learned from this tutorial & let me know if you’ve begun step 1 :: decluttering your space

Breaking the store returns shopping habits sounds simple, but really – it’s hard work.

Are you a store return-er?

Here’s what store returns shopping habits look like:

Oh, I’ll just grab it now & if it doesn’t work I’ll return it later.

Here’s what really happens:

That pile? Oh, that’s all the store returns I need to make

And, store returns news flash ::

Many retailers have begun to put a time limit on store returns, creating yet another deadline for you to pressure yourself with.

So how do you avoid this downward spiral of store returns?

After you’ve mastered drive by shopping, overcome retail therapy and gotten past the free stuff you can tackle just about anything ~ including the following mantra ::

I don’t have time for store returns, I’ll come back later

I know. I know. This sounds easy, but when you’re faced with the “it might not be here next time” situation, it might just be too hard to live the mantra.

Do it anyway.

Adopting a no store returns policy of your own can free up extra time, eliminate the ‘bagged’ clutter and maybe – just maybe save you a little money as well.

More importantly, when you’re first trying the no store returns mantra out … don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember, habits are hard to break. Especially ones that have been in place for years.

Join the conversataion on The Mental Clutter Coach Facebook Page

How often do you find yourself faced with store returns in your shopping habits?

Been following the Shopping Habits series and a little confused on why I would be offering insider tips on giving gifts? Well, go check it out then!

Have a happy Thursday!

When it comes to clutter, no.

Free isn’t really free.

What does this have to do with shopping habits? By now, through the series, you’ve learned shopping is less about the spending action and more about the acquiring action. Bringing home “stuff” is still bringing home “stuff” regardless of the value of the transaction.

For the skeptics out there … here’s a simple equation I can give you ::

As you can see, when you divide the value of your home (or office) by the square footage you can figure out the value per square foot. Now, measure the floor space your clutter is taking up and multiply that by the square foot value.

That is how much your clutter is costing you.

Oh, and don’t forget any original costs for things you did pay for.

Would love to hear your totals! Share below or over on The Mental Clutter Coach Facebook Page

Is it really free? What is your clutter worth?

Not that I’m patting anyone on the back. Quite frankly I’ve seen the physical spaces retail therapy has filled up and witnessed the strained relationships excuses of retail therapy have caused. It’s not so brilliant there.

So …

Why Retail Therapy?

Feeling sad? Why not go buy yourself something?

How many times have you heard that?

In my line of work it appears to be a mantra our society wears like a badge of honor.

Made even more possible after the 80′s and encouraged by our inner need to luxuriate.

According to the experts from a 2008 study, feeling sad is a primer for spending money. Retail therapy offers to not only fill the emptiness being sad can cause, it also seems to enhance one’s sense of self … briefly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Interested in the scientific article?
Misery is not Miserly: New Study Finds Why Even Momentary Sadness Increases Spending
No? Just want the brief overview and feedback ::
Retail Therapy: Does Sadness Mean Spending?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tons of studies can give you the reasons why retail therapy is part of your shopping habits, I thought we’d work through how to break the impulse buying rhythm all together. Sound good?

Handling Retail Therapy

There you are, feeling [insert emotion], smack dab in the middle of a store. Now what? One strategy that puts some physical space between you and that impulse buying is:

The 24 hour wait period

1. put the item down
2. step away from the rack, display, shelf, cart
3. repeat after me:
• I can come back tomorrow when I’m not so [insert emotion]
4. leave the store

if you find yourself later thinking about the item, what are the thoughts about?

• how it would positively effect your life
• how you missed out on a deal
• thoughts? What thoughts?

Just like cooling off when you’re angry, a 24 hour wait period can offer perspective, minus the emotions. The next day, if the purchase still makes sense – return to the store with wallet in hand. If you find your thoughts are swirling more around the ownership of the item and less around the functionality, consider what it would truly mean by buying it.

Healing without Retail Therapy

This step has often been the most difficult for my clients, so brace yourself. I’ve asked the following question of every client trying to change their shopping habits and most have responded with crying first then the inability to produce an answer next.

What do you do for  yourself?

Now, before you flippantly answer, let me clarify:

I don’t mean, what do you do

for your kids
as a good spouse / partner
because your a good friend

that you convince yourself is for you

I’m asking

If you had 24 hours to do what ever you wanted, without repercussion or responsibility, what would you do with it?

would you lay around and read a book?
would you go for a beautiful drive?
would you hang out with friends and family making memories and sharing great food?

Why the tears? Why no answer? Because, often the act of shopping is what they do for themselves. It’s what makes them ‘feel good’. They don’t want it to be their vice, but it is.

If retail therapy or the act of impulse buying is your vice, consider answering the question ~ honestly.

What do you do, for yourself, that no one else benefits from? Clearly laundry, a clean kitchen, getting an oil change and mowing the lawn were all just thrown out the window. Those are all things you have to do.

This sounds like a great conversation to continue below or over on The Mental Clutter Coach Facebook Page

What do you do with your free time, other than retail therapy?

• Your pulse quickens when you think about shopping
• You feel like a kid in the candy store every time you walk into a retail environment
• The adrenaline pulses through your body when you score an amazing deal

See, for some, this is all part of the pull. An element of why we buy, even when we’re trying not to.

Drive by shopping was originally used to help chronic acquirers break their shopping habits, with a professional on hand. If you’re attempting the DIY route, with this post as your guide, be sure to enlist some support from friends or family.

Step 1 :: The Drive By

Could you, pulse racing, head to your favorite store and simply drive by the entrance doors?

Sounds a bit silly, I know.

Surprisingly, for some, this one action is too difficult to do. Without completing the act of parking the car, getting out and shopping.

One might argue, “what a waste of time!” ~ “what a waste of gas” ~ “what a waste of effort”.

Yup.

What a waste.

But. Could you do it?

Give it a try and let me know.

In the meantime, here’s why some will struggle.

Researchers argue our “gathering” gene, yes from caveman days, is too strong to ignore. When you think about it, that makes sense. What would you consider your “hunting grounds”?

And looking back over the generations, what is success based on?

Providing.

Providing an income. Providing a safe home. Providing the proof that you’re providing.

Try driving by, maybe even parking and considering what your body’s reaction is. Then, head home. Without shopping.

Step 2 :: Shopping without Money

Okay, step 1 complete? Now let’s try the next drive by shopping ~ entering the store without any means of purchasing items.

That’s right. Leave your wallet in the car, safely locked up of course. Or better yet, only leave the house with your driver’s license.

This time when you drive by the entrance, park the car and go in.

Take in the swish of the doors, the open space that welcomes your mind to adjust and walk through a section taking in the inventory.

Consider this the walking drive by.

How’d it go?

• Were you successful?
• Or was the pull of a deal too much and you bolted to the car for your wallet?

If you were successful, how did it feel to return home empty handed?

• Was there a sense of pride or grief?
• Were your feelings mixed?

Do you think you could do it again?

Why this is an important step:

Clients focused on breaking shopping habits have had the most success practicing the behavior with a different outcome. By understanding what exactly is going on around you and then making decisions to steer the choices in a way that is in line with your desired lifestyle allows an element of “practicing” a new way of doing things.

Step 3 :: Repeat

When working one-on-one with a professional, step 3 is a completely different action. But since you’ve decided to give it a go on your your own:

1. Continue working your way through the relationship you have with your shopping habits.
2. Pay attention to times you find yourself in front of a store, did you set out to get something you needed?
3. Or are you simply tapping into your “hunting” instincts?
4. Do you need to stay in the car?
5. Or is this an opportunity to do a walking drive by shopping exercise?

You know I can’t wait to hear your thoughts below or over on The Mental Clutter Coach Facebook Page …

What do you think the most difficult element of the drive by shopping strategy will be?

]]> http://mentalcluttercoach.wordpress.com/2011/10/23/weekly-challenge-habit-breaking-strategies-shopping-habits/ Sun, 23 Oct 2011 11:05:13 +0000 Head Clutter Coach http://mentalcluttercoach.wordpress.com/2011/10/23/weekly-challenge-habit-breaking-strategies-shopping-habits/ Habit breaking strategies for the avid shopper … ahh, a common question. No, really. It is.

What isn’t common is the response.

Sure, I have some great strategies I’ll be sharing all week long. But are you really ready for the answers?

Habit Breaking Lesson

Breaking habits, especially if you think they are bad habits, can be such an uphill battle. However, that doesn’t make them impossible.

What tends to stand in the way of a habit breaking effort is the hard work required.

With breaking habits, much like physical clutter, you have to actually deal with it in order to change anything.

The past two weekly challenges have worked a lot on what you know about yourself and your environment, this week is all about how you behave in that environment.

One of the first things I tell a client when we begin working together is

It didn’t take you a week to create [fill in the blank with :: these shopping habits, this cluttered area, the piles surrounding your work computer]  … you most certainly will not break the habits that got you here in a week.

Having realistic expectations and a healthy perspective can go a long way in keeping your motivation strong.

Habit Breaking Challenge

So, what do you know about yourself, your shopping habits and what have you learned over the last two weeks?

• Have you discovered when you have to shop other things migrate to your cart /basket?
• Or maybe you realized that favorite weekly ad is more than just eye candy, it’s more like a call to action?
• Or are the habit breaking shopping questions working so far?

Now what?

I mean, really … now what? What are you going to do with that information?

Have you surrendered? Responding with “yup, that’s me – guess I’ll always be that way?“

Or, did it light your fire, “geesh, I had no idea! I need to do something about this!“

Your habit breaking challenge for this week is to consciously decide “what am I going to do about it?“

This next week you’ll have the opportunity to read a post a day that will line out the essential habit breaking strategies I have taught clients over the years. However, you are the one who will have to decide how the information will affect your shopping habits, and ultimately if the habit breaking strategies are something you’re really ready to deal with.

Habit Breaking Homework

It’s my belief, habit breaking is hard enough – to assign homework would be much too barbaric.

Share your thoughts and opinions below or on The Mental Clutter Coach Facebook Page …

What habit breaking strategies have you already tried when it comes to your shopping habits?

]]> http://mentalcluttercoach.wordpress.com/2011/10/22/using-coupons-shopping-habits/ Sat, 22 Oct 2011 11:05:23 +0000 Head Clutter Coach http://mentalcluttercoach.wordpress.com/2011/10/22/using-coupons-shopping-habits/

The rise of reality TV shows has brought an almost prestigious status to those using coupons these days. Almost.

The jaw dropping savings, the astounding “loot” organized in a room all with the art of using coupons.

Yes. About that.

Let’s take a brief reality check of our own, shall we?

The amount of time those TV folks put into using coupons can be compared to a full time job. Clearly only for the dedicated.

The amount of inventory their homes burst with, have a shelf life. Just like any other item that exists in your space, these require maintenance too. Again, only for the dedicated.

I realize many of these folks are using coupons to donate items to local organizations or needy families. That is fantastic. But before you dive into using coupons yourself there are a few things you may want to consider.

Are you using coupons as a bonus to your pocketbook or a trigger to your motivation?

Would I be purchasing this item even if I didn’t have the coupon?

Am I actually using coupons I clip?

Do you spend the time clipping and then forget to take the coupons along to the store?

How much time is using coupons costing me?

Depending on how long it takes you to clip the coupons and how much savings you see at the end of the trip, you can determine the worth of your efforts.

There are many benefits to using coupons, especially if you’re practicing healthy shopping habits. I would love to hear your thoughts below or over on The Mental Clutter Coach Facebook Page

How will you be using coupons differently this week?

Yes, I’m poking fun, but even I’ve felt lost with the archaic act of shopping with cash.

A few summers ago my family and I took a state-road-trip.

When we all piled in the car I announced that we only had the cash in the envelope for all the expenses (for the 4 day trip).

As I pulled out of the driveway my entire family sat in shock when they discovered I had only budgeted $300.

$300 to cover gas, food, special stops and any mementos. (much of our lodging was with friends)

As you can imagine, our gas bill could have easily been $300 on it’s own.

The first time we stopped at a gas station I had to take a minute and remember back to how I use to pay for gas.

Entering the station, advising the attendant of the pump number and informing them how much I intended to spend. “Put $20 on 2″.

At that moment I felt ‘old’.

By the end of the trip though, my kids were so budget conscious from their experiences of shopping with cash for 4 days that we decided to do all our family trips like that.

I could go on about the other benefits (like returning home with less trinket-y clutter) but that’s for another day, another post.

Back to business:

When shopping with cash is important

While staying on a budget ::

you can’t overspend if you don’t have the cash in hand

Why shopping with cash is important

Physically handing over the cash brings a sense of passage ::

cash for product, I own something and now have less money to spend

Who shopping with cash is important for

Anyone trying to improve their shopping habits or cluttered environment ::

it’s hard to bring “stuff” home when you don’t have the cash to purchase it

How shopping with cash is done

Lots of preparation ::

knowing what you’re going to the store for and sticking to the plan

Join the conversation below or over on The Mental Clutter Coach Facebook Page …

Will you be shopping with cash this holiday season?

Whether the shopper lives a luxurious lifestyle or not is irrelevant.

And the good news? Apparently, we all do it ~ luxuriate (something) in our lives.

For some it’s kitchen tools, for others it may be purses or shoes. Regardless what the item we luxuriate is, it’s important to understand how we do it and possibly why if we want to improve shopping habits as a whole.

Remembering back to the first time I read about this quirk we all share in our shopping habits, it was intriguing as well as logical.

Here’s why …

How we luxuriate

I like to call it “your thing”. The stuff we purchase that is our little luxury.

For my husband it’s hunting & fishing garb.

For me it’s reusable shopping bags, geeky stuff & on occasion the perfect pair of jeans.

Mentally, we are using the item to luxuriate our lives. By owning this [fill in the blank] I’ve stepped into what I see as the ‘finer things in life’. Or better yet, “I’ve arrived.”

Like I said, the luxuriate habit will differ given access to funds. One woman might luxuriate bed sheets that cost $5,000 while another feels as though she is living in the lap of luxury with stationary that took $50 from her bank account.

On the other hand, that same $5,000 bedding shopper may stake out the local thrift stores for clothing and the $50 stationary shopper may be doing all their cooking on a charcoal grill.

It all depends on what is most important to the shopper what their thing is that connects them with their version of luxury.

Why we luxuriate

Research into shopping habits has revealed our deeper need for certain things.

Acceptance. Independence. Providing. Even jealousy.

When it comes to what we luxuriate, well – that’s probably a session with your therapist, but why we do it … now that’s the interesting part.

We’ve all heard the saying “Shopping is my Religion!”.

Turns out, the items we luxuriate and that sense of faith are just what the brands (and marketing teams) ordered.

Take a minute to make a list of the brands you buy regularly, have you “joined” them?

For example, are you the proud owner of the new 4s? Or are you wishing you were the proud owner of the new 4s?

If not, what brands are your religion? Which brands represent how you luxuriate your life? Is it wine, handbags, bubble bath, furniture?

Knowing what you luxuriate helps you to become more aware of your shopping habits. That’s not to say you have to stop, just know when you’re doing it and ask yourself “is this really the purchase I want to make”. I’m guessing 9 times out of 10 the answer will still be yes, but isn’t it nice to know you took the time to make the decision yourself?

Would love to hear your thoughts on this one over on The Mental Clutter Facebook Page {or below} …

What do you luxuriate?
Now that you know, will it change your shopping habits?

]]> http://mentalcluttercoach.wordpress.com/2011/10/18/being-an-example-shopping-habits/ Tue, 18 Oct 2011 20:05:57 +0000 Head Clutter Coach http://mentalcluttercoach.wordpress.com/2011/10/18/being-an-example-shopping-habits/ Being an example while adjusting shopping habits has a much farther reach than just your checking account or cluttered space. If you’re a parent, being an example takes on a completely different meaning in your journey. As a parent myself, I’m always aware of how I’m being an example to my kids, their friends and even other parents.

Adjusting Shopping Habits :: Being an Example as a Parent:

image by Muffet on Flickr

In the past, when I was involved with family clients, I saw the most powerful changes happen after a parent shared their “challenges” with their children. Being an example as a grown up, admitting what they were working to improve in themselves, was often a powerful bonding experience. However, coming up with a game plan for respectful support is the key ingredient for such a decision.

Example:

When you all are out shopping, help each other remember the questions from the Shopping Questions post.
Be honest about answers and help support what ever decision is made.
Open up to the possibility that your child’s honesty is rooted in love and concern.

Being an Example as a Friend:

Peer support is HUGE when breaking habits or adjusting a lifestyle. Frequently folks decide to change their shopping habits because of some insight or action another friend is taking.

It is important to understand where your receiving support and where you may be, unwittingly, offering it.

If you notice someone else following your lead offer a helping hand, especially in areas that are rough patches.

Being an Example as a Partner:

Communicating much of this advice comes from my work with Loved Ones of Hoarders. A spouse reaches out for help long before their hoarding partner is ready. Being an example as a partner comes in a unique form.

What you don’t say is equally important as what you DO say.

Withholding criticism or disappointment allows the shopper to come to terms with their decisions without the defenses always at the ready.

Most importantly here, shopping habits weren’t created in a day ~ week ~ month, they won’t be changed that quickly either.

While being an example as shopping habits are changed comes in many different roles they all hold one thing in common. A center stage performance.

Share your thoughts on The Mental Clutter Facebook Page ::

How are you being an example while adjusting your shopping habits?

]]> http://mentalcluttercoach.wordpress.com/2011/10/17/shopping-questions-shopping-habits/ Mon, 17 Oct 2011 17:05:36 +0000 Head Clutter Coach http://mentalcluttercoach.wordpress.com/2011/10/17/shopping-questions-shopping-habits/ Do you know what types of shopping questions to ask in order to ensure you have healthy shopping habits?

Most people don’t.

Until working in the organizing industry, I didn’t.

Learning how to help people deal with their clutter opened up a whole new world for me, providing insight to the world of shopping habits and what shopping questions weren’t being asked before the purchase.

Ultimately, leading to a lack of direction when the “stuff” entered a space and beginning the piles that multiplied until occupants were unable to enjoy the quality of life they desired.

Shopping Questions People DO Ask:

• How am I going to pay for this?
• Will it fit in the car?
• Am I really the first one to own it?
• I wonder if my co-workers / friends will be jealous?

Necessary Shopping Questions TO Ask:

Before you head to the register take stock of your cart. Then ask the following of EACH item:

• Is this something “I need” or something I want right now?
• Where will this live in my home / office? Can I put it away as soon as I’m there?

Shopping questions that help you make an educated decision can work wonders on your physical clutter.

By asking “Where will this live in my home / office”, you’re making a decision if an item entering your space has a sense of direction and will be easy to put it away once home or at work. Eliminating one of the ways clutter can accumulate.

Partner that question with other shopping questions such as “is this something I need or something I want right now” and you begin to implement the Weekly Challenge of Self Assessment into your shopping habits.

Shopping Questions That Affect the Bottom Line:

• Can I afford this?
• How much am I really saving?
• How many paychecks will it take to pay for this purchase?

Shopping questions that highlight the flow of money can be a great way to detour current shopping habits too. For many folks, it isn’t enough to ask “can I afford this”. However, breaking down the savings (when something is on sale – with a red tag / sticker) can often be a gentle shift in the habit changing efforts. Example: if you’re only saving $1.17, is it really a deal?

With one client in particular we discussed something she really wanted, new living room furnishings.

I asked her to find a picture of what she wanted. We then wrapped her credit card in the image. This worked as a physical reminder every time she went shopping with friends. Before she put the charges on the card she weighed whether the new clothes, shoes, purse … was worth waiting longer for a bigger goal she had.

Then we determined how many paychecks it would take save up for the living room set if she didn’t use the money on other miscellaneous items (that ended up in piles with the tags still on them 8 months later).

We also calculated, with interest, how much one of those items had ended up truly costing. 8 months later – tags still on, unused … the percentage of the paycheck was astounding.

Lifestyle Shopping Questions:

• Am I expecting this to improve my life in some way? Will it?
• What will I need to do to take care of this item? Dust it? Launder it? Will I?

Remember back to the first Weekly Challenge – Start at the beginning? When I shared what inspired this series in the first place. Here’s where we take the work you did last week and combine it with the work you’ll do this week.

Knowing what you’re expecting of an item can be a serious reality check.

I promise you, organizing products are only meant to be a tool in your efforts – not the solution to your problems. If you’re willing to do the work so these tools can assist you, then you’re on the right track. If you make a purchase thinking “this is going to solve my [fill in the blank] problem” then prepare for more clutter in your space.

Oh, and don’t forget, for every item you bring into a space you must now commit to owning it. Complete with whatever task list that presents. Dusting. Washing. Maintaining. Will you do these things? If you can answer yes, then you’re on the right track. If you chuckle, knowing that owning this item is destined for a pile somewhere – then it may be time to rethink your decision.

In the end, asking yourself the shopping questions that lead you to the life you want to live is really what it’s all about.

Share your thoughts over on The Mental Clutter Facebook Page …

What shopping questions do you ask yourself WHILE shopping?

]]> http://mentalcluttercoach.wordpress.com/2011/10/16/weekly-challenge-self-assessment-shopping-habits/ Sun, 16 Oct 2011 23:05:54 +0000 Head Clutter Coach http://mentalcluttercoach.wordpress.com/2011/10/16/weekly-challenge-self-assessment-shopping-habits/ In the weekly challenge I hope to push you a little beyond your comfort zone, ask you to consider new perspectives, this week is no different ~ time to take a look at the self assessment.

Don’t worry, this isn’t the type of self assessment that tells you what “type” you are or that you require further professional help. Nope, this self assessment is actually more difficult than that. This one … is really a solitary exercise, consider it the ultimate reality check – with your self.

Last week’s challenge was all about Start at the Beginning, figuring out what your world could look like with improved shopping habits. Taking stock of the clutter that already surrounds you and evaluating “how did that happen”. This week we’re diving into what you can do differently, from here forward. How to change the patterns. How to become a new breed of conscious consumer.

Self Assessment Lesson:

My experience with self assessments, over the years, has been to dig into a spot that may not be the most beautiful about myself and determine how I can make some changes. Experience has also taught me that these times are what growing up is all about.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a full blown grown up on the outside – complete with mortgage payments and my offspring’s sports games to attend. However, on the inside I still feel youthful.

Using the term “big girl panties” with clients has brought humor into a tense situation. But it’s true. I have to Mom myself at times, have a “big girl” talk with the 7 year old in me that would much rather hang out with friends giggling an afternoon away than dealing with the piles of laundry and bills.

How do I know when it’s time to parent myself? Well, that’s the tricky part, right?

Usually the first sign is some sort of tension.

Whether it’s my husband, staring at a laundry room full of piles considering how he’s going to broach the subject ~ or ~ it’s me, feeling the pressure of deadlines approaching and knowing I’ll have to make time to deal with the necessary tasks.

Which leads me to the first self assessment step:

Awareness.

It really is much easier, at first, to just ignore the signs. But over time, the tension builds and stressful conversations (or worse, blowouts) occur. And that doesn’t really help anything.

Learning to recognize what the warning signs are, is the first element of any change – shopping habits related or not.

So, how do you become aware?

Take some time to consider what situations seem difficult, where or when does tension / stress begin?

• is it in the store with a spouse that doesn’t want you to shop anymore?
• is it when you arrive home after a day of shopping and you’re feeling the need to hide your loot?
• is it a sinking feeling when you get the credit card bill in the mail?

Once you become aware enough to see some of the things that spark the problems you can move on to the next step.

How to use the self assessment information for good:

This next step is a single word as well. But may be the hardest part of the process.

Acceptance.

Accepting that we’re not perfect is a twisted element of our society. Sure many of us say “well, I’m not perfect” but deep down inside we don’t accept that as a fundamental truth about ourselves.

Granted, this is all just my (humble) opinion. Although it has been earned over the years watching client after client come to these places within themselves.

Breaking down. Crying. Finding comfort in knowing they no longer need to pretend. They can begin to adjust their “self talk tapes” that deteriorate their self esteem day after day.

More importantly, allowing ourselves to accept those around us sometimes have a better view of who we are and what we do with it is sometimes a sour pill to swallow. But gulp it down, we can – if the desire is deep enough.

How to begin accepting:

• when someone you love or respect makes an observation, take it under consideration
• forgive yourself for past mistakes, accept yourself (good & bad) from here forward
• have an understanding of what you’d like to change / adjust, pay attention to those encouraging the improvements

The final step in this self assessment:

Sit with It.

Finding a way to be aware and accepting are just the tools. Actually staying in a head space that forces those tools to be used is the hardest work of all. It is exhausting. It is uncomfortable. But in the end, it is worth it.

Self Assessment Challenge of the week:

Figure out how to customize the self assessment lesson to your situation.

• Become aware :: what shopping habits create the most difficult situation?
• Accept your situation :: you cannot undo the past, forgive yourself for previous mistakes and begin the necessary steps to change your shopping habits from here forward
• Utilize the results :: do the hard work then rely on the self assessment results as a compass to help you stay on course as you improve your shopping habits

Self Assessment Homework:

remember, homework is an individual choice …

The work this week is all about what’s inside of you, although in order to gather the entire picture requires a fact finding mission.

1. Share this post with someone you trust
2. Ask them to respectfully help you understand what they see in your shopping habits
3. Explain you are only looking for feedback on this ONE topic (no need to recruit criticism elsewhere)
4. Listen to their feedback, consider taking notes (it helps the information feel less hurtful)
5. Evaluate their observations and determine what insights were similar to your own
6. Take action – become aware, accept the entire picture, stay in the uncomfortable space using your tools

Tip: if you know someone else who wants to improve their shopping habits they may be a good person to talk to and possibly a much needed source for support.

Join the conversation throughout the week over on The Mental Clutter Coach Facebook Page:

What do you think of the Weekly Challenge :: Self Assessment of Shopping Habits?

]]> http://mentalcluttercoach.wordpress.com/2011/10/15/weekly-ad-shopping-habits/ Sat, 15 Oct 2011 21:04:15 +0000 Head Clutter Coach http://mentalcluttercoach.wordpress.com/2011/10/15/weekly-ad-shopping-habits/  

Do you have a physical reaction to the Sunday paper ripe with one weekly ad after another – just full of deals?

If I challenged you to quit your weekly ad habit cold turkey, could you?

• Would you have an anxiety attack?
• Would you stand up straight and accept the challenge valiantly?
• Would you stare at me, wondering why I would propose such a thing?

Or, would you be surprised to find out, many of my previous clients found the motivation for their shopping habits began with a warm beverage, the Sunday paper and their favorite weekly ad? Yup, That innocent delivery can be the start to the shopping habits process.

Before I was an organizing expert I was a weekend ad junkie

notice all the RED they use?

We’d get the nice thick paper. I’d politely separate the weekly ad section from the “news” section & deliver accordingly. Husband read about the world, I read about the fantastic deals.

I’d drool over the colorful slick pages, dream about how life would be better with [fill in the blank], then start my errand list based on the items I wanted to go buy from each weekly ad I flipped through.

Boy, was that exhausting.

How I kicked the weekly ad habit

My personal change came with a move. We uprooted our 2 young kids and moved to Small Town USA. Complete with it’s great schools, tight knit community and slender weekly ad section.

At first I was disappointed. I mean, what was I suppose to do with my Saturday / Sunday mornings? More over, how was I supposed to know what my errands were going to be for the week? The weekly ad section had become such a road map.

After some time, I realized, I was spending less money.

I was going into a store because I actually needed something, not because the weekly ad had beckoned me there. I was less driven to acquire and more driven to focus on other things like reading a good book or having a family date night {{instead of shopping}}.

So, short of moving to a small town with limited shopping resources, how can you stop relying on your favorite weekly ad for momentum?

Adjusting the weekly ad habit:

• If you make your list from the weekly ads, try making your list before you look at the weekly ad section
• Fill your “weekly ad time” with something else you’ve really been wanting to do; watching a movie, getting caught up on the DVR, having a big brunch with your family
• Consider cold turkey tactics :: if you didn’t look at the weekly ads this week, what would happen?

Figuring out if the weekly ad is the source of your momentum when it comes to your shopping habits can be such a powerful tool in improving the way you view your purchasing decisions.

I would love to hear your thoughts, join me on The Mental Clutter Coach Facebook Page and share:

What is your relationship with the weekly ad section like?

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