I love you girl, but that wig is a no no!!!

Above Renate Stuurman plays one of the leads in a new SABC 2 show called THE MATING GAME…

It is scheduled to start in early 2010…
Lets hope the wig is a vital part of the story line…

…I’m coming back. I’m getting something together and am hoping it will be just the right blend of sarcasm, dim wit, and judgment. That last part may be me judging someone or you judging me. More than likely it will be you judging me as I just give everyone around me side-eye. Side-eye and duckface…that’s a really good combo.

By the way, even though Gavin is on the brink of turning 10 he asked me today if I’ve ever had a “monia.” Should I have corrected him to pronounce it “pneumonia?” Maybe. But he still sounds little when he mispronounces words, so it’s staying. Here are some words Gavin used to mispronounce but has now mastered, to my dismay.

Madgie = Mommy
Toss = Tom
Togey = Toby
Scabetti = Spaghetti
Ooh, bey bey. Whaddya gonna do, whaddya gonna do? = Gavin’s theme song
binky = blanket, but not Michael Jackson’s blanket
pinger = finger
peelings = feelings
yittow = little
yeg = leg
shuwa = sure

When Gavin was “yittle” he would take my camera around the house and take random pictures. Random as in things he liked and were on his level, not pictures of his junk. Here’s his primary collection:

Meet Sock Puppet. I didn't even KNOW he was into making friends with socks.

Gavin's sweet, sweet dollar bill. He will make a great banker one day...or loan shark.

Oh look. It's Sock Puppet again. Just hangin' out.

Gavin & Togey

So browsing the Blogs…I always go to this particular one…one of my favorite blogs…(“Crunk & Disorderly“)…and I saw the top posting “Tweets Is Talking: Low Prices Til The Casket Drops“..and when I read the post I immediately yell out a big “O HELL NAW…WALMART IS GOING TO HELL IN A HAND BASKET”….

Dear Walmart,

Being a college student you have to be my favorite store, but you have done way to much…Offering to sell Caskets…really Walmart…Caskets…I know the economy is bad and times is hard for people but seriously Caskets…Caskets…I wonder how many people have already  purchased a Walmart Casket….thats like you going to a funeral and then you go to walmarts website and see the same casket they just buried your loved one in…SMH…I think its hilarious that yall are selling this cause this is an all time LOW….

Try again….

That Is All….

Sincerely Yours,

Kay.Dot

Dear Gabriel…

So I was perusing the blogsites today and i just happen to come across one of my new favorite blogs…(Oh Hell Nawl)…and i just happen to see this ad…

and I hate infomercial with a passion and just seeing this ad hurt my feelings…do you really expect me to actually believe that you didnt photoshop yourself to look like this?!?…You Cant Fool Me!!…those pictures don’t even look like you…ugh…did you not read my earlier blog….im a mass comm major..they teach us how to Photoshop…and i bet thats what you did……ugh just looking at your picture just irks my soul!…

try again…

that is all…

Sincerely Yours,

Kay.Dot

Dear Apple…

I am a mass communications/broadcasting major at UNCP and I am in aww of the computer systems that in which you created Macs…I myself is using a PC as we type this…(its just cause your prices are too effing high)…ok back on track…so i am in the process of looking for a new phone..so ebay is my first choice before going to my service provider..cause as you already know…i hate high prices…so i check ebay and i see all these “iPhones” only they are being called “iTouch/I9 Touch Screen Phone”..now i have an iTouch iPod so i know thats not what being advertised…and i must say i am throwing side-eyes to you (for letting them create this phony phone ) & to the makers of this…people these days will create anything to make a quick buck…uhm…shouldnt yall be doing something about this….you cant have people perping iPhones…SMH

That is all…try again…

Sincerely Yours,

Kay.Dot

*Side Eye*

Dear T-shirt Makers,

So browsing the web…looking for some shirts to buy…im a HUGE graphic tee wearer…and i see the ads come up everywere such as BustedTees and yet the shirts are quite amusing and some quite hilarious…but seeing this…i really dont knw what to say..mmh…”Now In Negro“…

I saw the one you have for the “White Penis”…and it was called the “most offensive shirt”..me being halfrican-american..i find both shirts offensive…and being that you had to advertise this shirt saying “NOW IN NEGRO”….i find that this is just plain out right disrespectful..im not going to get in on racism and all of that hooplah…but be serious come on now..I really dont find the shirt amusing…hilarious…and really dont see any self respecting man that i know wearing this shirt period…whoever thought of this shirt really needs to log off life for a while..and come up with something more amusing…more hilarious and just more “Wearable”..cause if i see a guy wearing this shirt any where you will get the “evil-eye-squinty-face” and the SMH of Disgust Face….

so…Maker this shirt….if at first you dont sucecced…try try again!!

THAT IS ALL

SINCERELY YOURS

[KAY.DOT]

ps…this shirt is not affliated with BustedTees…i was just giving reference.

haha, I will say this. Ms. Small put the Kardasians out there for what? I guess we know how she really feels about them now. This isn’t the first time I heard Ciara was actng brand new towards people who either influenced her, or got her started in the industry. I won’t how true all of this is. Anyway here is what Tionna Smalls of VH1’s The Chilli Project had to say about seeing Ciara at an Event

One thing for sure, two things for certain….Tionna Smalls hates a b*tch who acts brand new and this is real talk. First off when I first saw her I said that Ciara was a pretty girl so please do not take this as hate or anything like that.

First off, when TLC walked on the red carpet, Ciara was on there talking. Everyone that knows anything about the red carpet knows that when you see another artist walk in, you slide over and give acknowledgment. You say hello or whatever. Ciara did not…… say hello and pretended as if she didn’t see them. That is cool. So after they went over and did their thing, we left to proceed into our dressing room. As soon as we hit our dressing room, Ciara and her friend was in our dressing room. I was confused so I said, “are we sharing dressing rooms?” Chilli told me no.

Mind you this b*tch to them, so why are u in their dressing room. I was in the dressing room singing, “It’s nothing going on but the rent.” She was staring me up and down and asked me, “what are you singing? There is nothing going on but the ritz?” sarcastically. First off b*tch you call yourself a singer, you should know that song. Secondly why are u questioning me? “Maybe you don’t have to worry about the rent but I do.” I was done after that.

Anyway, Ciara was then asked nicely to say hi to the cameras for our show and she told them, “Ugotta talk to her manager!” Excuse me b*tch? It wasn’t what she said it’s how she said it….She was making a dance with it and trying to go into melody. Remind u every other celeb was saying what’s up. Who the f*ck are u to decline but it was whatever. She then went on to say it again, “u gotta talk to my manager.” Finally someone told her that it wasn’t that serious….Then she asked what were we taping? B*tch you heard them say a reality show while they were on the red carpet….So she and her friend was embarrassed and left and I started laughing at her.

*itch, no matter how big you think you are and no matter how much you hang with the ho-dashians, you are a nobody. You pay homage. You don’t act brand new. I liked you before but now you are cut off b*tch. You don’t walk around thinking you are the bomb. F*ck outta here. Walking in dressing rooms then watching the show after….trying to weed out the competition. Then get on stage and perform and your bum @ss can’t sing. Sorry I had to take it there…..but I had to. Write what you want, this is the truth…..

Oh and she didn’t even speak to a woman who got her her first magazine cover on hype hair magazine. First she acted brand new to Jazzy Pha and now this. Damn.

 

 

Come on CiCi, you need to be humble in this industry, I guess she didn’t learn with “Fantasy Ride”. I must say that if all of a sudden everybody is saying she acts “hollywood” they might be on to something.

*side eye* to all those who play with other people’s feelings.

The Daily Swarm (love) posted this yesterday and I watched and scratched my head then laughed then got angry then shook and scratched my head s’more.  Just watch. Oh, and the comments on YouTube are precious.

I believe that I’m a pretty intelligent person… However, I tend to be VERY hardheaded… I also believe that if I want something, I should be able to and will get it… when it comes to men, these traits can be disastrous…

These characteristics have caused me to:

-date men because they are attractive no matter how (insert negative trait here) they were
-pursue men who weren’t right for me
-act on emotion rather than logic
-etc.

I tend to get in a lot of trouble by following my deceptive little heart, or by pursuing my wants without regard to logic…

Usually, there are plenty of warning signs telling me to stay away…

My love life is like a scary movie.. starring me as curious white girl.. I see this big, scary abandoned house and instead of keeping it moving, I walk up to it.. when I knock on the door and it creaks open, I don’t leave.. I walk inside.. you know the rest.. I somehow make it out alive for the sequel (and trust, my love life has more sequels than Friday the 13th)..

So on to these warning signs, I get them all the time.. Usually they are in the form of words spoken.. and instead of running, I walk right into a swinging door of confusion, heartache, annoyance (take your pick)..

Where do I usually run into problems?

Sex!!!

Of course..

See, I’m grown and I appreciate sex as much as the next adult.. I love to talk about it and explore sex, but that doesn’t mean that all I’m here for is to be sexed and left..

And I KEEP running into men who want to do nothing more than hit it..

Now, since Im being honest.. there have been quite a few times where I’ve only wanted to have sex with a guy.. nothing more, nothing less.. but I’m on something completely different at the moment..

I am in a place in my life where I want to date seriously… notice I did not say be in a relationship… DATE..

Dating means I am getting to know someone, figuring out if I would want to be in a relationship with them in the FUTURE (not the near future either)…

I want to spend quality time learning a person, having fun with them.. do the whole movie and dinner thing.. hang out on a Saturday doing nothing.. you know? Date..

But I keep running into men (that I like) who aren’t “on the same page”… they always say things like “I don’t want a relationship right now”… (again, I don’t want to be in a relationship right now either, I just want to get to know you dummy)

Unfortunately, their alternative to “the wrong page syndrome” is to have sex with me.. Umm WHAT!?

This usually has me shaking my head because they know that I like them like that .. Anywho.. before they even come out with the whole “same page” chatter.. I’ve been thrown hints that.. they are only in it for the skins…

Hints:

- “so when we gonna … (insert sexual reference here)?
- they invite you over to watch movies … after 10p
- before they hang out with you, they want to know “is it worth it?” “what’s in it for me?”
- they’ll mention something about being a terrible boyfriend, or how they don’t know how to be in a relationship (cue side eye)
- he may even say something like: “we’d never work in a relationship, but would have great chemistry in bed”

But usually…
- he doesn’t have time for a relationship (that damn word again) OR dating

Which should let you know that:
- he doesn’t feel the way about you that he said (men will make time for something they want)
- he will have sex with you, but never take you serious (even if he’s never mentioned sex)
- he will never date you (or be in a relationship with you), especially if he’s had sex wit you already
- you should RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!

Like I said.. I usually get these hints.. but I’ll be hardheaded for a while.. until I allow myself to take a look at what’s going on around me and decide to keep it moving… my hardheadedness doesn’t last long though.. just long enough for me to realize I like a person and be disappointed in their barbaric-ness (this usually happens within 2-5 days, there hasn’t even been a chance for a first kiss yet)..

Because I don’t end up having sex w/ the neanderthal’s… I end up without regrets and scars… but it causes me to look at every man with a little more scrutiny (so that I won’t fall for any games) and.. it causes me to be disappointed in some of these guys who I thought were “different” or “better than that”.. but then I realize.. they all have penises…

If you are getting these hints.. leave that skeez alone! For every man that doesn’t want you.. there’s one more piece of your man being molded for you…

xoxo

-m. lauren.. sbf