I thought this movie was good technically but the story just felt kind of flat. It felt like the entire time the movie was telling me what the characters were doing and feeling instead of showing me. I wanted to feel like the characters really cared but often times things were just explained on a single title card. Often times large amounts of time would just be skipped and it felt like it really affected the flow of the movie. The movie wasn’t bad by any stretch, I just wasn’t very impressed by it.

A good silent comedy. It had a lot of heart and the stunts were entertaining and fun. It had a pretty simple story line but it all tied together nicely in the end. Sometimes you don’t need a complicated story or anything like that, just some good actors with good comedic timing.

I have been driving from Munich to Offenburg yesterday, via Stuttgart. All in all 370km/230mi (90% highway) in about 4,5hrs, avg. speed 80-85km/h-(50-52mph) as reported by the computer (I don’t remember the exact value, sorry).

The traffic was really thick (Friday afternoon…) and because of the expansion of the Autobahn A8 from 2 to 3 lanes (yes, you read correctly, 3, not 6 or 7 – we are not there yet, but we are doing our best to copy the US, and filling those lanes with SUV like vehicles ). The whole of the A8 is hilly with steep declines (up to 6%) and inclines. There are simply no tunnels and it’s all up and down…not many flat sections…

About 1hr of the whole driving time, was spent in stop&go traffic jams, mainly due to roadworks and heavy traffic. The rest of the time I was driving as fast as I could: after all I live in Germany, let’s have fun sometimes and more over I wanted to see how the Prius was doing at high speeds. When no speed limit was given (typically there is a 120km/h-75mph limit over a good third of the way and 80km/h-50mph one in all roadwork sections), I was going anything slower than 150km/h-93mph and as fast as 190km/h-118mph.

The overall stability was good but not excellent – I am driving now with winter tires (195/55 R16), instead of the 215/45 R17 – so this is certainly one limiting factor. I have tried driving 190km/h already once with the 215 summer tires and the stability is excellent.

Acceleration is OK but not that exciting – but mainly I was chased from 2.0+L BMWs/Mercedes and the such with 150+HP at least. I was never chased by a Golf or other mid-sized car. Surely the Prius is not a Ferrari, but you need to push it to get juice out of it (at least at these speeds). Often you press the gas and “nothing” happens. The eCVT likely doesn’t help, but I cannot imagine shifting gears at these speeds, it doesn’t make any sense – you really need HP and torque (if any left….). The engine gets quite noisy and the HSI is no indication of what are the RPMs of the ICE and if you are melting it down The HSI bar might not be in the red PWR zone, you are doing 180km/h-111mph going uphill and the engine is roaring, but you have no clue whether you are in the red rpm zone….. Comically enough, I never really had to floor the accelerator, but honestly I was afraid of having the ICE jump out of the car…

I used PWR mode all the time, not because the car goes any faster, but simply because on German highway, people do drive fast – no only in terms of overall speed, but also in terms of reaction times. When there is a chance to go faster, they will do it. No grannies here! So you need to accelerate fast, and PWR Mode gives you better reaction to the foot. After arriving in Offenburg I had to keep the PWR mode on as my foot got so used to it, that normal mode felt like ECO!!!

What I noticed is that the battery charges continuously – the ICE is running so much and at max power that it can generate traction power, power for the generator and power for the electric motor. The batter was charging while the motor was driving the wheels at the same time. This has been the only time that I have ever seen the battery of my Prius fully charged, even if for just a short period of time. Most of the time it was 70%-80% full. Having a full battery was really helpful when stuck in a traffic jam or at lower speeds as I could coast in electric mode most of the time.

So now the main question is – what was the average fuel consumption, including 25km/15mi in town before leaving Munich???? 10L/100km-23MPG? No. 8L/100km-29MPG? No. It was just 6L/100km-39MPG. I am honestly impressed.

This also means that if I drive it more slowly (say 140km/h-87mph), I would probably get 5L/100km-47MPG. And that for a german autobahn *is* impressive. I would never get that on the Polo diesel I got before. I have also tested today going 150km/h-93mph more or less constantly, and you do get 7L/100km-34mpg average.

A good reason for driving slower though, is to reduce the stress on the suspensions and overall on the drive train. German highway are indeed flat and quite good taken care of, but any tiny bump at these speeds is truly heavy on the suspensions. The last thing I want is to change something in 4-5 years time due to fast driving. I wonder if I have not already compromised some mechanical part (I am already imagining cracks and mini-fissures crawling up metal parts in the suspensions…. my poor Prius!)

I will drive back this Sunday I will post my findings on this thread. So, overall good, not a Ferrari and certainly not an “easy/comfortable” german highway car. On more relaxed highway trips though (140km/h max), it is certainly a good comfort car with (likely) excellent fuel consumption especially if helped by some traffic jams…

A week gone by. Still no words.

Mine Heart Shall Not Be Silent
It’s not the quietness of loneliness, which I feel; it’s the loneliness of your absent fervent love, those moments of laughter, joy, never to embrace ever again, or our love to share in our sacred place, when?
Oh that my lips could taste your warm alluring love! That I could once again look only into your loving eyes and touch you tender face, to feel that loving embrace, which will never be erased.
Silence my voice! But my heart knows not the words of the human race. Mine heart shall not be silent; it shall desire fervent love, laughter and joy. It shall desire, your loving embrace, your lips to taste and those loving eyes a tender face, my heart none, can silents, neither erase. 
©2009

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Thinking.

I thought I was in need of writing but so far I cannot find the words.

Leise ist schön.

Und grausam.

Wie schön es war, leise zu sein. Und zu gucken. Wie du schläfst. Wie du einfach nur daliegst, und nichts tust, nicht mal schauen. Einfach nur atmest. Und leise.

Ich versuche den Moment zurück zu holen. In meinen Kopf. In mein Blickfeld. In mein Herz.

Ihn behalten.

Ich bin still. Ich sage nichts. Ich warte nur. Und schaue und lausche. Da ist nichts.

Du am schlafen. Ich am gucken.

Beobachten. Schön finden.

Ich beobachte dich. Finde es unecht, was ich da sehe. Kenne es nicht, was ich da sehe. Aber liebe es.

Ich spioniere. Spioniere dich aus während du schläfst.

Darauf warten, das irgendetwas passiert. Dass nichts passiert. Es ist grausam.

Nichts tun und nichts passieren lassen. Nichts passieren lassen, damit nichts passiert.

Leise sein und den großen Klotz Beton auf meiner Brust schwerer werden lassen.

Nicht schlafen können. Der Klotz erschwert das Atmen und verlangsamt alles. Doch du atmest. Und ich schaue Dir dabei zu und bin glücklich, dass du, und wie du atmest.

Ich will schreien und lachen, durch Pfützen springen und dabei singen. Ich will Wasserbomben von Hausdächern werfen, nachts in ein Schwimmbad einbrechen, ich will eine Band gründen und berühmt werden, im Lotto gewinnen, im Fernsehen auftreten, ein Hotelzimmer zerstören, Courtney Love eine Ohrfeige geben, den Mond anheulen, bei dir sein, dich ansehen, den Geruch der Welt einatmen. Laut sein. Jetzt. Sofort.

Doch ich schweige und starre. Und starre das an, was mir verwehrt bleiben wird, weil ich es mir nicht nehme. Weil ich es nicht kann und nicht will, obwohl eigentlich doch.

Aber nicht hier. Und nicht jetzt. Vielleicht auch nie.

Du bist schön und wirst schön bleiben. Und ich werde dabei zusehen. Dich anschauen. Während du schön bist und bleibst und schläfst und atmest. Und ich bin wach, aber mehr wie im Halbschlaf. Nicht wissend ob ich das, was ich denke, wirklich denke, ob ich das, was ich sehe, wirklich sehe.

Ich schaue wie du lebst. Wie du laut sein kannst. Wie du bist. Ich sehe dem Leben beim leben zu. Leise und starrend.

Ich will laut sein. Jetzt. Sofort. Aber ich tue es nicht. Dieser Moment gehört mir. Für immer. So soll es bleiben. Diesem Moment nichts passieren lassen. Nicht durch lautes Leben zerstören.

So bleiben.

So schön.

Ganz leise.

_________________________________________________________

Being Silent and Beautiful

Silent is beautiful.

And cruel.

How nice it was to be silent. And to watch. How you are sleeping. How you are just laying  there, not doing anything, not even looking. Just breathing. Silently.

I try to get the moment back. In my head. In my sight. In my heart. To keep it there.

I am silent. I am not saying anything. I am just waiting. I watch and listen. There is nothing.

You are sleeping. I am watching. Observing. Finding it beautiful.

I´m observing you. I´m finding what I see unreal. I´m not familiar with what I see. But I love it.

I´m spying. I´m spying on you while you are sleeping.

Waiting for something to happen. That nothing happens. It´s cruel.

Doin nothing and not allowing anything to happen. Not allowing anything to happen so that nothing is happening.

Being silent and letting that concrete block getting increasingly heavy on my chest. Keeping me from getting back to sleep. Taking my breath away, everything in slow-motion.

But you are breathing. And I´m watching you, and I am happy about you breathing. I want to laugh and scream on the top of my voice, jump into puddles, singing. I want to throw water balloons off high building, I want to break into public swimming pools at night, i want to  form a band and get famous, I want to win the lottery, I want to be on TV, I want to destroy hotel rooms, I want to punch Courtney Love in the face, howl at the moon, be with you, see you, breathe in the scent of the world. Be loud. Now! Immediately.

But I remain silent and stare. Stare at what will remain denied to me because I won´t take it. Because I can´t, and I don´t want it…. but then again… I do!

But not now, not here, maybe never.

You are handsome and you will remain being that. And I´m going to watch you. While you are handsome, while you remain, while you are sleeping, while you are breathing. And i am awake, kind of half- asleep. Not knowing if I really thought what I think, if I really saw what I see.

I am going to watch you live. And how you can be loud. How you are. I watching life and how it lives. Silently staring.

I want to be loud. Now! Immediately. But I won´t. This moment is mine.Forever. That´s how it shall remain. Not letting anything happen to the moment. Not destroying it by loud life.

Remaining.

So beautiful.

Very Silent.

~ S.

all pictures (c) Janka Schmitz

Many of you have noticed that I have not been posting to my blog as regularly as I had been in the past. If you are a regular reader, I apologize. It seem that as the title states “My hands have been silent”.

 The reality of it is that I have struggled recently with being able to put into words my emotions and thoughts. Since being in a major car accident in September, my routine seems to have me out of sync. Although my faith in God has not faltered, my willingness to call on him for strength seems to come only after I have carried my burdens farther than I should have on my own. I know better than that. But I also believe that as a human being many of us have a habit of leaning on ourselves first, and God second.

Psalm 121:1-3

A song of ascents.

 ¹ I lift up my eyes to the hills—
       where does my help come from?

 ² My help comes from the LORD,
       the Maker of heaven and earth.

 ³ He will not let your foot slip—
       he who watches over you will not slumber;

Our Lord is with us every second of every day. He never stops standing guard. He never lets go of us. It is we who forget, we who let go of God, not the other way around.

Prayer: Precious God, thank you for always being there beside me. Even in the toughest of times you are there. When my struggles are at their peak, you are there to carry my burden. Remind me oh God of your great strength and the shield of protection you offer me from my faults and my demons. Help me to lean on you first, and make myself a distant second. In the name of your son Jesus I pray. Amen

I never brag, I never boast.
Your silent disappointment irks me the most;
I never asked for your opinion,
Still you send your silent minion.

Why must you look at me that way?
Is your silent criticism words you can’t say?
Your thoughts I definitely don’t deserve,
Yet they’re something you preserve.

I hate that look you love to give.
Please leave me alone and let me live!
Haven’t you realized I’m in control?
If something goes wrong, I’ll pay the toll.

These are my wants, my decisions!
For once, will you consider my position?
I’m the director: I run the show,
And if you don’t like it, you can surly go.

I won’t hold you back; please, go ahead.
Say all the things that need to be said.
I won’t interrupt if you speak your mind.
Just don’t forget: we’re both the same kind.

You’re not higher, neither am I.
And unlike you, I do not lie.
I never order, and I don’t judge,
But I can hold a serious grudge.

Want to be on my bad side? Be my guest.
I’ll take up your offer without a request.
Want to be on my good side? You’ll have to try hard.
Otherwise to me, you’re just some lard.

Living, breathing, taking up space?
If you want me to, I’ll think you’re waste!
Cursed, wretched, filthy and poor?
When you need me most, don’t knock on my door!

How can you think such things of me
When I think of you equally?
Why do the good attract the bad?
Don’t say I’m wrong: I surly had.

Love me and I’ll love you back.
Hate me and I might attack.
I don’t care if I win or lose,
‘Cause in the end, we’ll just hit snooze.

Is this some type of game to you?
This is my life. Is that something new?
I hope you know that I don’t care.
Defy me, if you dare.

I don’t do what you do to me.
This is unfair. Can’t you see?
I don’t want to hear your silence.
But I must say: I don’t care hence.

No longer shall I care one bit.
If I must, on you I’ll spit.
I won’t cry a silent tear.
Defy me, if you dare.