Fearless and True!

1. LSU BAYU BENGALS (7-0)

LSU, by the width of a skinny woman’s wrist, gets our nod as most complete team. These boys can flat out play. That said, the Coonass Kitties -and especially the “honey badger”- aint seen nothing like a healthy Emory Blake. Clint Moseley is primed to upset the established order to. Like a picture in baseball, Clint is an unknown quantity, and, with Miles pot-smokers suspended, don’t expect to see LSU stay on top after this week.

2 (Tie) ARKANASAS (6-1)

Behind Auburn, Arkansas has the most dynamo attack in the SEC. Kniles Davis is a beast, the receivers are likely the best (or second best) in the division. And What can be said about the Quarterback Play? Behind Cam, Wilson is the best to come along in a good long while. This team has moxie, as they displayed with their amazing come-from-behind victory over your Auburn Tigers a few weeks ago. How Bammer beat them is beyond me (hint: REC).

2 (Tie) BAMMER (7-0)

As much as it panes us to say, Bammer is a good team. That’s what years of oversigning, new Escalades, and paying off Refs will do. Seriously, have you EVER seen a luckier team than this one? They hold on damn near every play, at every position. But, till Slive and the rest of the office quits taking REC checks, you’ll see the dirty play by the Bammers elevate them over there pansy schedule. Expect LSU to beat them, and they won’t be done losin’ either after ESPN’s sickning “11/5″ hype.

2 (Tie) AUBURN (5-2)

Sure, there are other teams with a better record, but this here is settled on the field. So, 6-1 South Carolina is automatically a worse team (in sooo many ways). As usual, the offense is dangerous: our running back stable makes Bammer –and anyone else– jelous. The three-headed monster at QB can hurt you in so many ways and beat you with their hands and feet and head and heart. The defense has found its way, and let’s throw out the stats: after seein what these boys did to the Cocks and Gayturds, no one wants a piece of this front four. CGC and CTR have made this the most feared 1-11 on defense in the league, and maybe the country.

5 Mississippi State (3-4)

We’re torn here about the Bulldogs. As they showed on the Plains a few weeks ago, this is a scary good team that can beat anyone. But, we did step up and to seal the deal. The problem is, after losing to us, the Bulldogs let Auburn beat them several more times in a row. That’s understandable. Once your cheating, lying coach gets knocked on his ass once, he just ain’t got the balls to get back up again…and really don’t have the hutspah to prepare his guys to play therafter. Still, Ballard and Relf are the most dangerous combo outside of Cam and Dyer..if only they got an offensive “mastermind” who didn’t run that gimmicky high school offense.

6 Ole Miss (2-4)

Losing to a cheatin’ Bammer team is one thing, but lettin yourself get held like that on Trent’s “Heisman run” is far different. There may be plenty of fight in a dog, but this one is ready to be taken out back and hit in the head with a shovel. This team just hasn’t been the same since Auburn lured Tubs away so many years ago. Still, the real mayolaise begins and ends, not with Houston Dale, but with a controversal move to replace Mississippi’s fine Southern heritage (Col. Reb), with a critter that just don’t belong (Black Bear)…which seems more rayciss than the Stars and Bars ever were. This is heritage, not hate. And, I’m sorry, but turn your back on your Southern Roots, and recruits will turn their back on you.