So, another Fairday comes and goes.

This year’s Pride Fairday was, as usual a wonderful day out. All queer kids great and small were out in force last Sunday and, although for the first time in my experience there was a fee at the gate and a few organisational hiccups, the event was a resounding success I think. Shane, Rod and myself spent most of the day manning the GALE stall where – armed with a rather fearsome looking dart-gun, encouraged the many Fairday patrons to take potshots at the laminated effigies of the most homophobic politicians in the state. The target selection consisted of the following bigoted scumbags:

Colin Barnett
Colin Barnett was recycled as Leader of the Opposition as a result of the WA Libs being out of ideas (and policies!) after the ejection of chair-sniffing frat boy Troy Buswell. Now, following a hung-parliament and a lucrative deal with the Nationals, he is the WA Premier. During his first (unsuccessful) run for the position in 2005, a highly controversial policy put forward by his party was the roll-back of significant gay rights reforms that were introduced by the Alan Carpenter government in 2001. This included barring same-sex couples (as well as heterosexual de-facto couples) from accessing to the Family Court, IVF treatment for lesbians and single women, same-sex adoption and raising the age of consent for homosexual male sex from 16 to 18.

Shane and myself had the opportunity to attend his pre-election Press Club Luncheon where we had hoped to ask him a few awkward questions about GLBTI law reform and higher education. When I asked him whether or not he intended to repeal the aforementioned laws (and how he could possibly justify this) he replied that no – reform was not on the agenda this time. In fact, it had never been on the agenda in the first place. I was mistaken – he assured me, and perhaps I should do my research a little better. Fortunately, I wasn’t the only one a little perplexed  by this convenient memory loss. What staggered me is that he actually had the arrogance to lie about something that could so easily be proven – but that he did it in a room full of media. Not that mainstream media really gave two shits, even when the truth got out.

However, he did elaborate on the issue of age of consent – he said that he was concerned about young, vulnerable teenage boys being taken advantage of by older men. (Despite the fact that young girls are as much or more at risk of abuse at the hands of sexual predators.)  Echoing the old adage ‘gay =pedophile’ that we’ve all come to know and love (Jeff Kennett – I’m looking at you..)

Unfortunately, Colin Barnett is, by comparison to the following charming folks – relatively tame.

Rob Johnson

Rob Johnson is the newly appointed WA minister for Police and Emergency services. This cannot bode well, especially when he can actually say the following with a straight face:

The problem is homosexuality. Homosexuality is not normal. Any members on that side of the House who think that homosexuality is normal are living in cloud-cuckoo-land.

– Hansard, 6 Dec 2001, page 6479

My children are adults well over the age of 18 so they cannot be prey to either heterosexual or homosexual predators. I do not want my grandchildren at the age of 16 to be prey to older men. Homosexuals want to persuade young people to adopt their way of life. The whole purpose of the gay and lesbian mardi gras in Northbridge is to promote homosexuality.

– Hansard, 11 Dec 2001, page 6830

“It is not normal for a woman to bounce around on another
woman or for someone to put his penis up a 16-year-old boy’s
backside. That is not okay. My language is a bit rough, but I do
not think that is right. That is what these people do. It is
normal for a penis to go inside a vagina, not up an anus. I do
not want that taught in schools.”
–Hansard, 19th February 2002, pg 7462

What a terrible thing it would be for any child to know that he or laws.
she was conceived anonymously in a test tube because a
couple of homosexual people felt that they needed to have a
child as some sort of pet to seal their relationship.
– Hansard, 21 February 2002, p7790

Sarah Palin also made a guest appearance at the ‘Pot-a-Pollie’ stand – she seemed to be the most popular target. (Wonder why?) Shane, myself and Rod were constantly on our feet handing out flyers and reloading the dart-gun for people wanting some cathartic pollie abuse. It was a resounding success and goddamn was it ever satisfying!

Pride Fairday is really a wonderful event – not just because it is the one day of the year when one can purchase overpriced rainbow/Pride paraphenalia  (Arcane Bookshop – how I do miss thee…) and have an excuse for being pissed at two in the afternoon (Ah…Queer Uni Students. Truly these are my people..) but it is one of those rare occasions when I can sit back and think ‘Yeah…we’re doing ok.’

Fairday reminds me that times are indeed a-changin’. I had a long conversation with a lovely English family that had just moved to Perth (they were actually from the same county as me). The husband and wife that I were speaking to were totally straight – but they told me that their son was bisexual, and they wanted to know about all the Queer venues that our humble little city had to offer so that he’d be able to settle in a bit better. I nearly fell over myself trying to explain about the various upcoming events and what there was for a young man of diverse sexuality in the most isolated city in the world. It was so great to see parents that were not just ‘tolerant’ of their son’s sexuality – but genuinely wanting to support and understand him. Bit of a break from the norm – but who’s to say that this is so very uncommon nowadays?

Looking around at the Fairday crowd, and I was impressed to see so many straight couples – some with children. It’s just another fun day out, sit on a picnic blanket in the sunshine, watch the performers and let the kids eat too much ice-cream.I’m honestly so proud to see how far we’ve come. We’re not just some side-show freak display anymore. When GLBTI people and issues become normalised, when people don’t even bat an eyelid at a rainbow flag anymore – that’s when you know we’re making progress. As Perth Lord Mayor Lisa Scaffidi put it ‘Gay? Straight? Who cares?!’

Unfortunately, our good friend Mr. Barnett disagrees:

“It’s not being pro or anti, I just don’t think it’s the future of Perth,” he said. “Perth is very much a family-friendly, nice, easygoing place.”

This is just another example of the “I’m not homophobic but..” sentiment that has replaced the overtly bigoted rhetoric that became unnacceptable in politics only fairly recently. It’ll cost you your political career if you openly declare that all faggots are going to hell (and rightly so) – so queerphobic politicians have found a way to appease the conservative religious right without losing too many voters. The ’seperate but equal’ line is a prime example – one championed first by John Howard and earlier this year by Tony Abbot when attempting to justify why same sex couples (while just as loving and deserving of rights as heterosexual taxpayers) aren’t good enough to be included in the so-called ’sacred institution’ of marriage.

It’s about keeping Queers at an arm’s length. It’s about dangling tidbits of equality over our heads while spraying yourself with disinfectant for fear of catching gay cooties. It’s patronising to say the least – and transparent as hell. If you’re going to be be homophobic – at least be fucking honest about it and call a spade a spade. At least then you’d have some measure of integrity.

Also – I love the assumption that family instantly equals heterosexual. I’m sick of ‘family values’ being used as a codeword for ‘heterosexist, homophobic dogma’ rather than love, trust and respect – which, if you ask me is an infinitely more important value for a family to have – regardless of the gender(s) and nature of the relationship involved. Like I said before – Fairday is honestly one of the best family events of the year – whoever you might be attracted to or identify as, because the event is all about being proud of who you love and respecting yourself and others. What more could you ask for in a family?

For some reason, in the minds of people like Barnett ‘The Gay Lifestyle’ (funny how we never seem to hear about ‘the straight lifestyle’) is limited to Mardi Gras, Drag Queens, HIV/AIDS, Casual sex and drugs. Whenever there is a segment about Queer law reform on the news – you can bet your bottom dollar that they will use images of half-naked twinks in body glitter instead of the perfectly ordinary people that these reforms will profoundly affect. (Not that I have any objection to glittery effeminate men mind you..:D).

And you know what – even, in the unlikely event that Perth became as renowned for it’s Pride events as cities like Sydney or San Francisco…so what? Is it such a terrible thing that we should be known as a city that is accepting and diverse? Having visited one of the ‘Queer’ districts of Sydney, I can tell you that children are not being ‘recruited’, heterosexual marriages have not disintegrated and the sky is yet to fall. Actually – the only significant change that we’d really notice if Perth became the next Gay-mecca is that two men could be publicly affectionate with each other without fear of being bashed.

I’d also like to point out my annoyance at comments made by Archbishop Barry Hickey about ‘this minority dominating the city.’

I saw a bumper sticker a while ago that I think applies well to this situation: “Heterosexual Mardi Gras – 364 days a year.” Let’s not even get into the fact that religious fundamentalists are also something of a minority…

Speaking of bumper stickers – How far does freedom of speech really extend?

So, this disgusting excuse for a human being has a sticker on his car that states that the only rights Gays have is to die. He is now fighting a fairly substantial fine for inciting homophobic violence.

I must say, I agree with the ruling and I’m glad that he’s been shut down. But, as someone that despises censorship in any form, I really must ask – what is the limit? Where do we draw the line – and who makes that decision between passable and inappropriate? I go about my days saying, doing and wearing things that no doubt offend a lot of people, but I continue to do it because it’s my damn right to express myself – and that that amenity is, of course extended to others, regardless of how offensive I might find their views.

But – I’ve never incited violence, and in this day and age it is a fairly rare thing to find such vitriolic sentiments, at least in Australia. So, I’ve never had to react to a situation like this (shows how far we’ve come when you think about it..).

It would be so nice to be able to put a definite dot point on some things. It would be so easy to be able to put something in a nice, neat little box labeled either ‘appropriate’ or ‘inappropriate.’ But – if we start thinking like that we forget how to differentiate for ourselves. I suppose this – like all things must be judged on an individual basis; because the alternative is thinking only in terms of black and white, us and them, right and wrong,  gay and straight. And that, is possibly the most dangerous thing in the world.

The Liberal Government hasn’t even been sworn in in WA and already they’re talking of putting an exclusive housing development at Fremantle port.

Ahh, back to the good old days where any old dead spot – like say the historic and still quite useful Freo docks – can be sold off and given up for flash apartments. Transport minister-elect Simon O’Brien wants to phase out that boring, stinky old cargo business at the port and shift business south to Kwinana.

The West Australian reports:

“Planning will commence very soon for a strategic renewal of our container shipping facilities away from North Quay to new facilities at James Point,” Mr O’Brien said.

Mr O’Brien said the government would be looking to redevelop the land at North Fremantle freed up by the move, possibly in conjunction with the developers of the North Port Quay proposal because of the synergies between the two projects.

“Whether we ultimately have a sea bed reclamation of the type that’s been proposed by the North Port Quay developers remains to be seen,” he said.

Quay spokesman Greg Poland said the consortium welcomed the opportunity to take the concept to the approvals stage.

Also beating down the new minister’s door will be the Len Buckeridge-led James Point Consortium, which has plans to build a port near Kwinana.

The private port, stalled by the Carpenter Government while it developed its plans for an island port, was given approval by the Court government.

Consortium spokesman Hans Moonen said a meeting with Mr O’Brien had been sought to discuss whether the new Kwinana port could be a private development or a joint venture with the government.

But Fremantle mayor Peter Tagliaferri said the new government was planning to relocate a multi-billion-dollar asset to Kwinana without having done any studies to support it.

“It’s not that simple, they’ve got leases in place with the stevedores until 2017 and (the equivalent of) 10 per cent of the gross domestic product of the country in cargo coming through that port each year,” he said.

Fremantle Society president Ian Alexander said while the port was still important for jobs and the local economy it was also important that the role of Fremantle as a port for more than a century was recognised and people did not want to see it become a “boutique port” for cruise ships.

Mr O’Brien said he would seek to consult widely over the plans.

“There’s a lot of sensitivity about change but I respect Fremantle as one of the great trade centres and historical centres,” he said.

It’s a win-win situation really. More prestige apartments in Fremantle – yay – and more jobs in the Labor marginal seat of Kwinana – double yay.

* Read more about Kwinana at Kwinana from the Inside.

Welcome to Weekend Worstoff 2.

I wanted to do a post trying to find out who was Perth’s worst entertainer, Max Kay or Tod Johnson. Incredibly I wasn’t able to find video of Kay in his kilt or Johnson’s V Capri, so You’ll have to make do with Tod murdering The Rolling Stones in a later band. Max had an execrable “Theatre” in Beaufort Street Mt lawley where he would make kilt jokes. Merifully the place has been bulldozed possibly to make him stop. Max’s life story is here. Seldom has someone done so much work for such an ill considered cause. Has also run for Lord mayor. Which is the worst blight on Perth Tod or Max? You tell me. I’m sure there are many horror stories about both of them out there. They both are still going strong so what would I know?

Speaking of blights. What goes on in The premier’s head? First he wants Dubai on the river, now The Royal show. A perceptive TWOP commenter suggested that the giant ferris wheel option would be next, several weeks ago. Why is it we only ever are given 2 options, the ludicrous or nothing? Thanks to Bedford Crackpot for the mock up. Nice touch for it to be in Docker colours. That will definitely say “winner”.

I contacted the oppostion spokesman for development Simon O’brien on behalf of TWOP readers several weeks ago, specifically asking what the oppostion’s stance on this farce was, but got no reply. I particularly wanted to know if they supported demolition of the Convention centre. Nothing. No one is at home in the oppostion apparently. Amazing. You would have thought a guy with a mo would have been more in touch?

From the search results this week. These are genuine terms people have put into google to arrive at The Worst of Perth.

pissholes in the snow – bob maumill and dog jack russell – native woman nude – perth sex brothel bordello – piss nubile movie – pictures of road signs for brothels – frank calabrese video footage.

I’m not sure which is more disturbing, someone looking for video of Frank calabrese, or Bob Maumill and a dog.

Finally in commemoration of the closure of Vistula Butchers, an early TWOP post, Meccano sends a pic of a meat tour in Melbourne. A scenic walk with a er meat theme. Nice Worst of Melbourne Mecc. Meccano says…