(Nivitra Devi Hari): …It is estimated that there may be about 600,000 singles in Singapore and many of them have been on the dating scene for a long time. People are bound to meet a suitable match among the 600,000. So how is it possible that they have not found the right one yet?

Well, perhaps Singaporeans who are afraid to commit should ask themselves if they want to live the rest of their lives alone.

Hasn’t Ms Devi Hari heard of the phrase ‘He/She’s one in a million’? With those kind of odds required for ‘The One’, what makes her think 600,000 singles is a sufficient sample size to discover the perfect partner? Most people date within their social circles, a friend’s friend, a distant relative, a neighbour, an ex-classmate, a childhood sweetheart. That amounts to a mere tiny fraction of the available singles out there, and that’s assuming these people actually put in extra effort to make time from their busy work schedules too.  There’s also a little extra ingredient in the happy union called luck, which sets the statistics further back to a likelihood akin to finding a hairclip dropped from an aeroplane into a jungle. The ‘plenty of fish in the sea’ concept just doesn’t apply anymore. As for threatening singles that they’ll live the rest of their lives alone (as if they don’t already consider that, hell, it may even be a preferable mode of existence for some) and miserable like a naggy, busybody auntie, this Orson Welles quote sums up my argument best.

We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.

So, Nivitra, kindly desist with such scaremongering because we want our couples to commit and marry out of love, not out of fear of being left alone.

(Kho Puay Hong, Ms): …Very often, at places like wet markets, hawker centres and heartland shops, one can hear the shop or stall owners addressing men and women who appear to be in their 40s as “uncle” and “auntie”. It is ridiculous to see even middle-aged and elderly people address these men and women that way.

It is not right, nor respectful, to use these terms so loosely – by those who are about the same age as the ones addressed.

It is high time we replaced “uncle” and “auntie” with “Mr” or “Sir”, and “Miss” or “Madam”. These are more respectful forms of address and will tie in well with the Speak Good English campaign.

Interesting that the complainant addresses herself as Ms and not the expected Madam or Mrs. First off, what has calling people grammatically correct, though offensive, names got to do with the Speak Good English movement? Wouldn’t the SGEM be more applicable here if your hawker ‘uncle’ called you ‘towkay’ or ‘lao ban (boss)/lao ban niang (lady boss)’, terms which, though non-English, are ironically less provocative than uncle or auntie? Wouldn’t it be just weird if char kuay teow sellers suddenly cast formal titles upon their regular customers? Calling someone uncle or auntie is more a question of decorum and upbringing than good English, and gone are the days when children could freely use these terms to address anyone older than them, whether they’re in their 20′s or 40′s. Other than seniority connotations, calling someone who’s not an actual relative as uncle or auntie used to be a not just a mark of respect, but more importantly that of affection and affinity, rather than an anonymous Mr or Miss. We were all brought up that way as kids, calling almost everyone we meet uncle/auntie, be it a family friend, a helpful stranger on the streets,  or the kacang putih seller. Unfortunately, with our society becoming more paranoid about age and dress sense, ‘uncle’ and ‘auntie’ have suddenly become taboo words associated with decrepitude, dullness and drab attire. What are we going to teach our kids next time then?  As for pot calling the kettle black situations, it’s really a simple case of reciprocation. If an ‘uncle’ hawker addresses you as uncle, by all means, call a spade a spade, and say ‘Thank you, uncle’ back. It’ll look less idiotic than having a campaign to teach people how and when to use Mr, Mrs, Ms and Madam. 26 years ago, it was such a different story, when even the term ‘ah soh’ was deemed polite, as seen in the letter below dated 27 July 1984, ‘Stall operators have always been polite’, ST Forum. Oh how times have changed. More uncle complaints here.

]]> http://everythingalsocomplain.com/2010/05/15/iphone-for-dummies/ Sat, 15 May 2010 14:14:11 +0000 gdy2shoez http://everythingalsocomplain.com/2010/05/15/iphone-for-dummies/ From ‘Philip in a flap over ‘dummies’ remark’, 13 May 2010, article in Fit to Post website

Apple fans are furious about his  (Philip Yeo, SPRING chairman) claims that people who buy applications for Apple products are “gullible customers” and that they were wasting their money on “all sorts of useless applications”.

Mr. Yeo made the comments last week when he was the guest speaker at the Fullerton-St. Joseph’s institution leadership.

“I always tell my daughter, make products and services to sell to the dummies”, he added.

He may not be totally off the mark, if you’re talking about apps that burn virtual Hell notes. Otherwise, our egotistical humanity and insistence that our intellect is still intact is blinding us to the ugly truth of technology gradually dumbing everyone down, where we no longer rely on human contact or our innate sense of direction to do mundane things like finding the nearest ATM. All successful businesses bank on some level of idiocy, in fact Wikipedia thrives on it.  Yes we are gullible, but in the land of the App store, there is no room for people with phones which still have, gasp, buttons,and actually talk with them. The man had something less smart to say about Singaporean male scholars though (whining, immature wimps) (New Paper, May 8 2005)

Woe betide the man whose loins are fired up by the menace of very short shorts! Women are either blamed for wearing too little and turning us into rapists, or nagging too much and turning us into philanderers. Careful of those low-back dresses too.

“They (Bali cowboys) are tanned and toned from all the surfing. They have a more relaxed attitude to life. They are not threatened that I earn more than them or pay for their meals. A Singaporean man could never accept that.”

Susan said she never paid any of the Balinese men to have sex with her but she would treat them to meals and buy them presents like T-shirts, keychains and caps.

Inner Circle's one hit wonder Gonna Make You Sweat (A-la-la-long) comes to mind

The term cowboy has come a long way since the Malboro man. Singaporean men now rank below ang mors and Indonesian gigolos in terms of desirability to fellow countrywomen.  Is there anything good to say about them at all?

No other Bali cowboy theme song comes close.

]]> http://everythingalsocomplain.com/2010/04/03/nagging-to-blame-for-affairs/ Sat, 03 Apr 2010 03:04:55 +0000 gdy2shoez http://everythingalsocomplain.com/2010/04/03/nagging-to-blame-for-affairs/ From ‘The male perspective’ 3 April 2010, Life! mailbag

Singapore women are contaminated by the decadent West..Learn from your gracious counterparts in Thailand and Taiwan, where womenfolk take pride in serving their men, and men take pride in protecting and providing for them

Why can’t Singapore women stop nagging? Nagging is a sure way to drive men to imitate philanderers such as Tiger Woods and Jack Neo.

Full of contradictions, the writer earlier complained about why it’s always ‘women and children’ first in a fire and not men, then later exalts that men should take pride in protecting their women. Then proceeds to fan the flames of sexual discrimination by stereotyping Singaporean women as naggers and Thai and Taiwanese women as submissive. How is the West any more decadent than us now, do you any idea how many 16 year olds are having sex and abortions here? You’re really asking for it, Mr Lee Hock Soon. A similar Old world chauvinistic mentality demonstrated here.

IT SEEMS that only in Singapore can one, after or nearing retirement, automatically become an ‘uncle’ or ‘auntie’ to the young, regardless of whether that person is one. These so-called honorifics are improper and make me cringe every time I hear them.

…Avoid the faux pas by addressing the elderly in a proper manner, such as prefixing their surname with ‘Mr’ or ‘Mrs’, or simply as ‘sir’ or ‘madam’ and their equivalents in other languages.

In PC days like these, you can’t even call grandfathers uncles. They will have to lose their teeth, hobble around on walking aids, and be granted the MRT priority seat at least once in their lives to earn the “uncle” attribute.

…I suspect that the enduring myth of the small Asian penis is related in part to the fact that Asians generally have smaller physiques compared to men of other races.

According to a recent book entitled The Male Sexual Machine by Kenneth Purvis, the average penile measurement of the Chinese male is equivalent to that of the Caucasian male.

No kidding. Kenneth PURVIS? Here’s the classic one hit wonder mutilated by local radio into “Short Short man”.

]]> http://everythingalsocomplain.com/2010/02/25/ang-mor-more-yandao/ Thu, 25 Feb 2010 05:20:25 +0000 gdy2shoez http://everythingalsocomplain.com/2010/02/25/ang-mor-more-yandao/ From Unwilling to settle for second best 24 Nov 1985 ST Forum

Caucasian men tend to accept a woman as she is..They also try to make a woman feel like a woman.

A fact we cannot overlook, is that Caucasian men are physically more attractive. The typical Singaporean male graduate is bespectacled, small and his hair is lavishly greased with Vaseline.

Gone were the days went no-holds-barred letters were published under the gleeful mask of anonymity. More Singaporean men bashing here. Explains the phenomenon of foreign brides and men marrying their maids. Can you really blame us?

We are not ‘mountain tortoises’. We are also more aware of our sexuality.

To term a woman who prefers Caucasians an SPG is insulting. Singaporean guys are not inferior to Caucasians though they tend to be more conservative.

I was appalled at the remarks of the Member of Parliament for Whampoa, Dr Augustine Tan, who said that if he had his way, every woman here would be at home looking after her children.

These attitudes provide a clue to the ‘disturbing trend’ of ‘three fourths of our women graduates being added to the pool of unmarried each year.

What I find ludicrous is how some local female celebrities choose to defend their choices (as if there was a need to) by generalising local men as ‘not macho’, ‘sheltered’ and ‘aren’t as educated in the ways of the world’.

I just wonder what these local female celebrities will say if the tables are turned and the local men start generalising local women as ‘not feminine’, ‘conservative’ and ‘naive about life’.

Nothing wrong with conservative. It’s the non-conservative who go for ang mohs are shoot their mouths off, remember? This was in response to Ang mor men better

I meet some of them (bachelor boys) in the office, at meetings, other people’s parties, and they seem nice, but they do not ask you out.

Why? Is there truth in what my married friends say, that men do not like active, intelligent, responsible career girls as dates?

That they should act a little helpless, a little useless and totally impressed by male superiority?

Maybe he’s just not into you, woman.

Just as their (Chinese girls) appearance changes, so do their manners. From polite timid girls they become vulgar and shameless tomboys.

To the sentimental boy of today -in fact all boys are sentimental nowadays – the ‘painted doll’ is his ideal girlfriend.  Devoid of lipsticks and cosmetics the girl will appear to him a sickly sight, and then he will turn his attention to another such girl.

Classic case of chauvinist stereotyping. All girls are wanton tomboys and all boys are sentimental. Sentimental seems like an old fashioned word. Men today describe themselves as witty, romantic, sensitive but never sentimental. One can imagine the mass shaking of heads in unison of happily married people reading this at the time.

(Carol,36): Local guys are nice but they aren’t as educated in the ways of the world as the Westerners.

(Bernice Wong, ex Ms Singapore Universe): I will say that the local guys I’ve met are pretty sheltered. I’d like them to be more masculine, not so ‘baby-ed’ and less childish.’

Guys, before you start complaining why all our good women are being snatched by Caucasians, read this post for consolation.

At least five other women were of the view that a woman should expect a conversational drought if she ventures on a date with an engineer.

(Mrs Helen Wang, deputy director of SDU) said that generally engineers do not dress well and lack social graces because of their lack of interaction with girls.

 Had drinks at Dave’s last night where we finished a bottle of Absolut between the two of us and chatted till past 3 in the morning. He was showing me pictures of his various boys in various states of undress. They were mostly naked and then the subject of circumcision came up and he brought up the fact all the Chinese boys that he had slept in Singapore with have been uncircumcised. So he reached a conclusion that most Chinese Singaporean boys are uncut. Which I said was strange because I thought that most Singaporean Chinese boys were circumcised at birth or during their early years. And I have not slept with any uncut Singaporean men which further proves my point since Dave likes his boys young. So we made a wager; I was to go ask my brother if he was circumcised and I’ll ask my sister if her husband’s cut. I know they’re both cut; if I’m not wrong and Dave thinks they’re uncut and loser buys dinner. So I should start thinking of what I want to eat.

 I found a place for pretty decent buffalo wings. It’s in deep near an army camp and it probably isn’t worth getting lost and spending an hour trying to find the damn place which was what my brother and his girlfriend did 2 weeks ago. But thanks to Google Maps, we found it tonight. My steak was completely mediocre which was disappointing because I was in the mood for a good steak.

 Just like how I’ve been craving instant noodles with abalone for the longest time. And I mentioned it over dinner and my brother went, “Oh you’re so high maintenance; instant noodles with abalone, but let’s go get some.” Because he wanted some as well.

  So it’s really not just all me. And I’m talking about the uncircumcised bit as well.