‘Happy New year x x x  we had better find time to carry out doctors orders…..’

His text had come through whilst I was indulging in a relaxing soak in the bath. The water had been a little too hot so I was catching my breath reclining on my double bed covered in just a cerise towel draped over my body for decency incase of intruders into my privacy. He was online we chatted about christmas and our respective offspring. He said he hoped to see me soon ‘all of you’. He confirmed that yes he did mean in the flesh and yes he really did want to see me very soon.

Funny I don’t recall exactly when I last indulged myself with his sexy body. Normally I would be able to check by looking back at previous blog posts but that occassion had not been blogged. It must have been sometime in November. The potential Mr Right had turned out to be a ‘no show’. I really don’t understand people who spend weeks building up to meeting then vanish off the face of the earth days before the long awaited date.

Anyway fred had been in contact and we had agreed that I would visit him, as usual it was a thursday evening. Again he text to say that there was a crisis at his place, but it wasn’t long before he told me the coast was now clear. ‘but please don’t wear so much perfume ‘. This really miffed me, although I know he dates other women he had led me to believe he only has sex with . (whether this is the case or not, I choose to think it is). Obviously another woman had noticed my scent in his room.  (since then I have discovered that having decanted my favourite scent into a bottle with a stopper after the atomiser on the original bottle ceased working I have been a little heavy handed with it.)

Feeling annoyed I chose not to dress up for the occassion as I would normally do. I set off for our session of indulgence wearing trousers and a sweater. No skirt or thin top this time huh. All the time my little car was eating up the miles that seperate us I was still seething with indignation. But the moment I stepped through the door into his kitchen my mood melted as he wrapped his arms around my body pressing his mouth against mine by way of greeting.

I won’t bore you with yet another description of our passionate kissing session that we always begin with. Instead I shall move swiftly on to the bedroom, clothes discarded on the floor your heroine (thats me) laid out on the bed with Fred expertly administering wave after wave of pleasure as he deftly uses his tongue to sweep me to heaven. This man has a magical tongue that has me writhing with pleasure everytime. (admit it you knew there must be a good reason for me to keep going back there). In the past he has been very tentative in his explorations of my anal area but this time he took charge and using a finger in my arse while he continues to pleasure my aching pussy lips with his tongue he had me in ecstasy. When he finds the right woman for him she will be one very lucky girl.

His combined use of tongue and finger has me writhing losing sense of anything other than the pleasure he was inflicting on my body. Wave after wave of orgasm wracking my body, I am pushing against him lost in these sensations that my body craves when it happened. OMG how embarassing (this is real sex not like the airbrushed sex of porn movies). Real sex can be and in this instance is very messy. Yes you guessed it, all this pushing and grinding against his face my body does what is only natural. Fred dashed off to the bathroom where I can hear him frantically washing his hands, before returning with reams of bathroom tissue to clean me up. Once I am sure the immediate danger of embarrassing myself further has diminished it is my turn to escape to the bathroom.

On my return he takes me into his arms kissing me tenderly, soon the incident is forgotten as we continue caressing. Automatically my hand reaches for his manhood, there is no conscience thought about it my hand seems to have a mind of its own. He warns me that he is enjoying my caresses too much so I take this as my cue to straddle him lowering myself onto his very hard cock. We tend to adopt this position as it allows me to determine how deep he penetrates my broken cunt. We both get enormous pleasure from this. He gets to just lay back and enjoy himself while I get to feel that I am actively contributing to our sex. Whilst I enjoy sex in the missionary position I feel guilty that I am laying back while he does all the work pounding into me. This way I also get to control how and where to concentrate the most pressure on my clit to gain maximum stimulation.

Several orgasms later I roll breathless onto my side next to his heaving chest. Regaining sufficent breath I crawl between his thighs taking him into my mouth, the scent and taste of my own juice still fresh on his already delicious cock. Just thinking about it makes me salivate with remembered pleasure.  I can tell that my tomgue and fingers are having the desired effect on him. I am well into sucking and licking him when I feel the first tremble of his spasms building up before he shot his warm love juice into my throat. I continue to suck until there is nothing left. When I am again lying by his side he breathes ‘wow’………..there is no need for any other words until we are both breathing normally again.

Before we dress we talk about my appontment with my consultant in a few days. I am going to find out if there is anything that can be done about my shortened tight vagina (its like being a virgin again at times). When I did see my consultant his examination resulted in him telling me that the best he can recommend, other than complicated surgery with no guarantee of success. Is to have regular intercourse pushing hard against the barrier, I have dilators and have been advised to use vibrators always pressing hard in the hope that eventually I will be able to lengthen my vagina that way.  Hence Fred now saying we need to carry out doctors orders.

We all know that one of the elements of New Year’s Eve is a kiss at midnight as we ring in the new year. So – bring on the mistletoe… but, do you know the right way to kiss? I’ve shared some tips below. Do you have tips that you would like to share? This is an excerpt from a new ebook that is being released soon — more details at the bottom of the page.

The Proper Way to Kiss

For many years, guys and gals growing up getting their sex cues from Hollywood romances didn’t have a clue about how to kiss. That changed with more realistic kisses coming to the movies, but now the pendulum has gone beyond that point with most movie kisses looking like the two combatants are consuming each other for lunch.

This has caused more than a few folks to fail to understand how a kiss should work, and what methods might be employed to arouse the ardor in a lover with a simple kiss.

Unlike today’s movies, you shouldn’t jump into your lover’s mouth like a high-speed chase through a tunnel. Instead, build her anticipation by kissing all around her face. Begin your kiss slowly and gently with emotion and sensitivity.

First, kiss without using your tongue, slightly open mouthed, with sweet breath. Only after this initial modest kiss should you start to get serious, and only when your lover indicates that she’s ready for more (usually by using her tongue or by opening her mouth more widely to invite your tongue in).

From this point, there are a variety of ways you can continue this interplay:

• Take your lover’s bottom lip between the two of yours and suck gently.

• Trace the outline of your lover’s lips with the tip of your tongue.

• While kissing, lick you lover’s teeth with your tongue.

• To increase sexual excitement, make your kiss wet.

• Wrap your lips around your lover’s tongue and suck passionately.

• Use hot or cold liquids to create erotic sensations.

• Kissing her eyelids and ears.

The key to success in all this is to go slowly, and to keep things modest especially with the first few kisses. Be sure to follow your lover’s kissing techniques and emulate them. Little by little the two of you will learn what works best.

Then put your knowledge to good use, bringing her slowly closer to consummating your encounter.

This is an excerpt from the Loveologist Guide to Cheating by Dr Ava Cadell- it is packed with details about cheating and also many ways to please your man or please your woman and ways to improve your relationship – to recover from cheating or to prevent the desire to cheat.  More details will be posted soon about this e-book.

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Success Story

I’ve found My Roses of Romance and my Daisies of Friendship.

Yes, this is very much a success story! I joined Prime Singles in June of 2007 looking for just friendship and even a pen pal or two. It was on the 18th of July when I saw the profile of Diane71732 and I knew I had to at least make contact. I did and she responded with “Let the Adventure begin”. We, as all do, corresponded through the site for a bit then it went to e-mail then to computer telephone Skype.com, with some conversations lasting hours.

It blew me away on how compatible we were. It felt like we had known each forever! Our values and our wants out of life petty much were hand in hand. It was like talking to myself because before the question was asked she knew the answer. Our likes and dislikes were right on even down to peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and Diet Coke.

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It was on September 11, 2007 when we declared our feelings for each other! I could not hold it back and I blurted it out. I was surprised the feelings were mutual! Fantastic!!

We have had a real zestful adventure spending most of the time together, living and loving with lots of passion, experiencing life, & traveling between the United Kingdom and America. We have run the gambit between the great times and the sad times. We have been there for each other in all times with understanding and love.

Our love and our happiness would not have happened if not for Prime Singles. You were the medium that brought us together with a lot of “Divine Intervention”, bringing us together the way it was supposed to be. We thank you all!

It has been better than two years since our journey started. It has been a year since we applied for the fiance visa, AND it has been 47 days that we have been Husband and Wife (aka Mr & Mrs Grumpypa) September 4, 2009.

I have found My Roses of Romance and my Daisies of Friendship all wrapped up in a beautiful woman. I hope all of your members find what Diane71732 and I have found.

Mr & Mrs Grumpypa

Grumpypa & Diane71732

About the Author:

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To Love is a 100% free International dating and friendship site with lots of fun and unique features. Including a Free Profile page, Jukebox, Music Videos, Radio Station, Fun Gallery, Holiday Photos, Poetry Competition, Excellent Chatrooms with Webcam and Audio chat, Poetry Competition and lots more.  We hope you enjoy To Love and find love and happines http://www.tolove.info

I haven’t gotten a great response. The response I have gotten is right down the middle pretty much.

Some people are going to be really busy, some are going to be at loose ends. I will probably be at loose ends. If I was going to take a night off to do something on my own, I would want to go and hang out at M4 with some friends etc. So…. I have changed my mind and decided we will be open on the 29th! No theme though. We will have some nibblies, the bar will be open, lets just get together and have some fun!

I’m working my way through the courses at Loveology University and I’m working on the ones that are part of the Certified Romantic program. Those include: Communication, Dating, Love, Intimacy, Kissing (which I completed), Foreplay and Flirting. All the basics that people should learn and understand before starting to date and especially before they start to date seriously.

I’ve dated for years (not going to say how many, but plenty) and I was amazed at the great information in this class. Long ago I thought there should be a dating rule book — well, I found it.  You wouldn’t believe the details here:

• Start with the definition of dating. Did you know that in Latin, dating means “dare to give”? That is so cool.

• Learn what dating is and the history of dating.

• Learn about dating practices around the world.

• The types of dating

• Dos and Don’ts of Dating

• How to know if you or the other person are ready to date

• Understand the rules of dating

• Tips on how and where to meet people

• Pages of ideas for dates – this goes way beyond dinner and a movie

• Tips for online dating

• Preparing for the date

• What to do on your date

• How to have a great date

• Things to talk about – and things NOT to talk about (which can be even more important)

• How to end the date – who doesn’t need help with that?

• Planning the perfect Valentine’s Day date

• Dating tips for single parents

• Dating and sex

• Dating tips for various ages – 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s

• Dating after divorce or death of a spouse

• Dating after a breakup

• Things to consider before having sex

• Things to consider before getting married

I’m telling you — this is a mountain of information and answered many questions I didn’t know I had. This is the description of the class -

This Course Is For You If:

• You want to Learn to Attract and Keep a Great Partner
• You want to be Confident Dating Whether You Are in Your 20’s or Over 60
• You want to Master Various Approaches to Dating
• You want to Move Your Relationship From Dating to Intimacy

What an awesome Valentine’s Day gift for yourself or for a loved one.  For more details, visit

https://www.loveologyuniversity.com/ShortCourseDetails.aspx?CourseID=27&a_aid=litekepr

The We-Vibe is a very interesting and unique vibrator. When you first look at it – it may seem strange, but when you understand how it works — it makes perfect sense.

Imagine a sex toy that the woman “wears” and that can vibrate for the man and the woman during intercourse. I have your attention now don’t I? That is how the We Vibe works. Notice there are two ends to it. One end stimulates the clitoris and the other end stimulates the g-spot. So – both spots are being stimulated at once.

And, it is very thin – so you can have sex while you wear the We Vibe. Men – imagine you are making love to your partner and you get to enjoy being inside her and you get a vibrating vagina. Tell me that doesn’t sound good.

This  diagram shows how the We Vibe should be worn.

Now – my thoughts -

This is not cheap – but it is a high quality vibrator.  The on/off switch is built  into the tip of the We Vibe, when you look close there are two “dimples” – push there to turn it on and off. When its wet – this can be a little tricky, but it is possible. The first time I plugged it in to charge it – it was a little tricky, because the recharge opening is hidden very well. But again, a little work and I had it charging just fine.

I inserted the one end so that it was on my g-spot and placed the other on my clitoris — and it feels good right away. Even on high, it isn’t a hard vibration, but a nice steady pulse and of course, vibrating both spots at once is very nice. I have not tried this with a partner yet – but will post a follow up when I have a chance to try this with a partner. To experiment, I did find that it works fine in conjunction with a dildo or another vibrator.  Can only imagine how good this would feel for a man – can’t wait to look into a partner’s eyes when he first feels it

So – to be naughty – I remembered that the website said it can be worn while you’re out. I was going grocery shopping last weekend and I love to shop of Saturday afternoons when the single men shop (used to be Sundays, but they changed to Saturdays during football season). I did notice that the We Vibe is very quiet – so I figured why not give it a try. But I knew that I couldn’t easily turn it off in the store – so for better or worse, I had to commit to the outing with the We Vibe on the whole time.

I made sure it was charged before I left for the store – and I inserted the WeVibe and headed out the door – feeling good. On my way to my truck – my dad pulled into the driveway — that wasn’t good, but I couldn’t go back in the house. We talked for about 10 minutes and he didn’t hear a thing So, I was off to the store and didn’t even mind waiting at the stop lights. I will share that a slight tip of your pelvis with the We Vibe on can really change how it feels.

That was one of the most interesting trips to the grocery store that I’ve ever had and I spoke to all kinds of men while I was in the store. It was fun knowing the We Vibe was vibrating inside me while I was picking up my food and waiting in the check out line. I hate to shop – but this plan has definite potential.

So – lets do the pros and cons

Pros –

slim design and easy to insert

no batteries or wire

possible bigasm even when alone with the We Vibe since it stimulates the clitoris and the g-spot

easy to recharge and long battery life

its purple (my favorite color)

great stimulation for man and woman during intercourse

easy clean up

Cons –

its is expensive – $130, but is well built and high quality

turning it on and off can be tricky – take a little practice

Overall – I really like the flexibility (more than just how it flexes) and I love unique items. Its a great idea that was created by a man and woman to be used by men and women. Can’t wait to try it with a partner.

Information from the website – http://we-vibe.com/

Designed For Making Love

“Seven years ago, on a hot summer’s day,

in the middle of an epic car journey,

somewhere between Ottawa and NYC,

the idea of the We-Vibe was born.”

Bruce Murison

CEO and Inventor

The humming of the tires on the freeway started my mind drifting to another humming sound… Yes I started to think about sex, as you do, and I began thinking that the world needed a perfect couples vibrator.

Why was there not a vibrator that would just slide in between two people while they made love? Straps and panties and wires and remotes and dead batteries all seemed to spoil the mood; so the ultimate toy would have to be completely self contained and water proof. I envisioned a toy that would not threaten or interfere with the man’s desire to have sex and yet enable the women to receive all the perfectly placed vibrations she could ever want.

---

There are devices available that are designed to stimulate women during sex, but most are ineffective vibrating cock rings. They seem to have too little power at too high a frequency and only last twenty minutes and cost ten dollars. There are cock ring vibrators, but men don’t like to wear a restricting device and the vibrator moves with the man, not the woman. The clitoral stimulators that allowed intercourse, had straps or panties and often wires; which I did not like.

“The perfect sex toy would have none of these draw backs,

and it would have zero maintenance.”

---

It would always be ready when you wanted it and it would run for hours and be powerful at the perfect orgasmic frequency. It would provide Harmonic Throbbing™ to the clitoris and stay just where the woman wanted it. And while you’re at it, the world’s most amazing sex toy would also give women the function of their G-Spot vibrator while they made love with their men.

“What more could they want?”

---

Making the Impossible Possible

Well actually, I had just read an article on the many problems associated with phthalate’s leaching from rubbers and plastics and potentially poisoning people. Being an environmentally aware Canadian applications engineer, I would have to create a toy made from something with no taste or smell and obviously phthalate free. Medical grade silicone would be just the solution because it warms to the body and is soft and flexible, much like skin. That disturbing news about poisons, combined with the disappointment in the existing sex toys, which often seem cheap, poorly designed, low powered, the wrong frequency and now toxic, inspired us to get creative and attempt to make the world’s best sex toy!

“Over the last seven year we have enjoyed the struggle

to create something truly innovative.”

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When I asked people if they would like a G-Spot vibrator that they could wear while they made love, people would say “I’d love one, but it is impossible”. When I asked people if they would like a long lasting, powerful Clitoral Vibrator that stayed where you want it and has no straps, people would say “I’d love one, but it is impossible”.

---

“It has been a very interesting seven years indeed!”

---

---

Engineering A New Dimension of Pleasure™

“We wanted something we could both enjoy,

safely, hands and strap free.”

---

Thus began a long journey to design and build the ultimate vibrator. After many years of research, different versions and all sorts of “expert tester” feedback, we found the ideal shape and flexibility. The trick was the “admittance arm” (patent pending around the world) that was thin enough to accommodate the penis or dildo while in the vagina.

With just the right amount of flex between two vibrating ends, this amazing vibrator will naturally always try to nestle into a woman’s erogenous zone, even while making love. Women could “wear” a miniature but powerful dual vibe Worn While Making Love™; amazing!

If the vibrator’s entire outer surface was nothing but glassy smooth silicone, it had virtually no friction and a man could hardly feel it, until it was turned on! This was the breakthrough we were searching for. A hassle free, safe toy that allows a couple to make love and provide the ultimate stimulation to the woman while not interfering with the man. And… We all know that nothing makes a man happier; than a happy woman!

“The resulting futuristic design is an elegantly shaped sex object with beautiful flowing, organic lines

housing two amazingly powerful vibrating motors…”

---

It stays gently nestled on both the G-Spot and clitoris under all but the most strenuous lovemaking conditions! We developed custom high power motors with gold contacts for a long life.

We designed a unique molding process that encases a flexible frame in soft silicone and we created a beautiful device that springs closed just the right amount to hold onto a woman while being completely comfortable.

Due to the We-Vibe’s extremely low profile and its silky smooth silicone finish, it does not obstruct the penis and yet still it delivers the most powerful Harmonic Throbbing™ throbbing vibrations imaginable both inside and out, while still allowing you to make love as you please… In a wide variety of positions!

We even made the We-Vibe RoHS lead free, WEEE compliant, phthalate free and carbon neutral. It wastes no disposable batteries.

The revolution is coming… together!

how the We Vibe is to be used during intercourse.

December 29th….

I was thinking that perhaps people would not be interested in going out two nights before New Years Eve, but I am hearing different! So, I have created a poll and I want to hear from you! Shall we run an evening on December 29th? If you have something else to say, you are able to! Make a suggestion!

A few days ago, Christina examined the surprisingly singlist and sexist publicity blurbs for two seemingly pro-single books. She notes that the blurbs “[remind] us of how tightly anti-feminism is woven into anti-singlehood rhetoric.” And it’s true: Onely is grounded, at its heart, in feminist values and beliefs specifically because of this connection.

As we explain on our “About Onely” page, we see the fight against singlism as a feminist project in the sense that we question the oppressive perspective that normalizes a particular (sexual-social) practice — coupling — at the expense of those who remain single. We believe that the same sexist (and heteronormative) perspective that fails to value multiple gender and sexual identities also fails to recognize those of us who prefer living alone to coupling.

But another thing strikes me as equally interesting about this linkage: I wonder if it’s a mere coincidence that Rosie the Riveter’s message above could apply as much to women as it could to singles. We’ve discussed the question before (at least implicitly), but I’ll bring it up again: Why do single women seem to be more present and more vocal (on the blogosphere and elsewhere) than single men? Is it because single women have more of an investment in fighting singlism because they face a double oppression? Or do single men encounter more of a problem because, as one of several male commenters on our QuirkyAlone post about the issue put it, the issue tends to be framed as a woman’s problem, therefore preventing many single women from viewing single men more optimistically, and (worse) potentially making single men invisible altogether:

[M]any women can’t see us &, they assume we’re like all the other non-QA men (which offends us) and approach us with that mind set – ‘putting us in the same bucket’ as [a previous commenter] put it.

I’d suspect that the problem (like most) can’t be reduced to an either/or situation, but that it is more complicated than that: On the one hand, single women DO face uniquely gendered stereotypes about what it means, culturally, to be read as female and single; on the other hand, if single women assume that single men are inherently less progressive or face fewer obstacles (or whatever) than they do, then that has the potential to shut them out of the conversation, making it seem gender-exclusive.

But doing this — making singlism out to be a “female” problem – is actually anti-feminist because 1) it allows us to perpetuate singlist, sexist (and likely heterosexist) stereotypes of single men, and 2) it also positions the issue as a “descriptive” problem instead of a “human” one (by which I mean that we begin talking about the problem as though it’s an individual/private one instead of a social/structural one, linked to and perpetuated by other oppressive ways of thinking and being in the world).

I’ve got a Part 2 of this post up my sleeve, but for now, please check out the astute comments on our QuirkyAlone post and commence discussion below: Singlism? Feminism? What gives?

– Lisa

This is an excerpt from Sinners Guide to Confession by Phyllis Schieber – one of the characters is an erotic author and this excerpt is about one of her dates.

Albert was the nephew of Mrs. Haggerty from 14A. She had started badgering Barbara exactly one year after Roger died. This last time, Mrs. Haggerty had accosted Barbara in the laundry room, promising her that Albert was the man of her dreams. Albert had never been married (always suspicious), loved action movies and the outdoors. “He’s a real catch,” Mrs. Haggerty said. “You’ll see as soon as you meet him.” Barbara agreed, surprising herself as well as Mrs. Haggerty.

“The smell?” Barbara said. “That wasn’t really my point, but I guess I would start to smell by the second day.”

He smiled brightly. Albert was pleased with himself.

“My aunt tells me you’re a writer,” Albert said.

“Yes. I’m a writer.”

“So, what do you write?”

Barbara studied the menu very carefully. This was the part of the conversation she hated. Albert was a nice man, but not for her. She looked up, steeling herself for the inevitable.

“I write fiction.”

“Ah, I see. What’s your genre?”

Barbara wondered if he had crammed for their date, like a contestant on a quiz show.

“Romance. I write romance novels.”

“Is there a lot of sex?” he said.

Albert smiled and winked. She smiled and winked back.

“Just between the women,” she said.

Albert knocked over his water. Barbara had the napkins ready and waiting.

“Shall we order?” she said.

Poor Albert. He was a perfectly nice man. He was even quite handsome and reasonably tall.  They ordered. She went with the sea bass, and he chose the lobster. They talked politics. He was informed and not a Republican. He did enjoy the outdoors, camping especially, and hiking. Barbara hated anything that was even remotely like nature. She even disliked the color green. Albert, to his credit, laughed when she said that. Why had he never married? Of course, he said that he was waiting for a woman like her to come along. After their decaf cappuccinos, they agreed it was late. He declined her offer to split the check and held her coat.  Barbara did not even mind that he put his arm around her as they waited for the car. She had written a really torrid chapter that day, and it might be interesting to have a real live partner instead of a legal pad, a pencil and her own inspiration.

“I really enjoyed dinner, Barbara,” he said, drawing her closer.

“Thanks, Albert. I did too.”

The valet brought their car, and Albert held the door for her. As they drove off, he asked if he could see her again.

“I don’t know,” she said.

He reached a hand across and placed it on her knee. She squeezed her thighs together.

“I’d really, really like to get to know you,” he said.

Barbara patted his hand and moved it off her knee. She had felt a slight flutter when his hand made contact with her leg. Yvonne was glad she had not worn stockings. She moved her thighs and arched herself forward, inviting his hand to explore further up her bare skin. “You’re so ready,” he said, moving his fingers inside her, rubbing her clitoris with his thumb. “I’d like to do you right here.” She leaned over and kissed him, pushing her tongue into his mouth as he rubbed her faster and more furiously until she came. It had been a long time since Barbara had been with a real man instead of one she had created, one who always knew how to do everything perfectly.

“I had a very pleasant time,” she said.

“Pleasant?”

It had been an awful choice of words, and she was already sorry. Now, she would have to make it up to him.

“I meant that in the nicest possible way,” she said.

“Even in the nicest possible way, it’s pretty insulting.”

He sulked for the rest of the ride home, and she abandoned her efforts at conversation. When they got to her building, he pulled into one of the twenty-minute parking spaces and started to get out of the car.

“You don’t have to see me up,” she said. “I’ll be fine.”

“It’s late. I’d rather see you to the door.”

They were silent in the elevator. Barbara had her key ready. He walked her to the door.

“Well,” she said, “thanks so much for dinner and for the good conversation.”

“Yes, it was pleasant.”

A sense of humor. Barbara was impressed. That deserved at least a kiss, and she owed him something. She reached up to kiss him, but he kissed her first. She wished he had waited for her lead. The kiss was too orchestrated and too hopeful. Yvonne grazed his lips with hers and felt his need as he pressed against her. She licked his lips and reached down for him with both hands, rolling his hardness between her flattened palms. Every word of the scene in her head was better than anything that was happening. Gently, she placed both hands on Albert’s chest and stepped back.

“Thanks again,” she said.

“What’s the matter?” Albert said. “Was the kiss unpleasant?”

He was playing on her guilt, but she was immune to such artifices. A manipulative mother and three children had steeled her to take on any challenge with resolve.

“I’m really tired, Albert, and I just met you.”

It was unlike her to be so forward on first date, but he was so sweet and his eyes promised so much. She just knew he would be a great kisser with those beautiful, full lips. All through dinner, she watched him take bites of his food and then chew and swallow. His throat was long and thick, and she imagined herself naked, gripping his width as she rode his equally long and thick cock.

“I understand,” he said, kissing her cheek.  “It was nice to have met you.”

As soon as she was safely inside her apartment, Barbara waited until she heard the elevator stop and the doors shut. Then she took off her clothes and slipped into one of Roger’s one hundred percent cotton shirts. She still sent them out to be laundered. Silly habit. After she fixed herself a mug of hot tea, she sat at the counter with a fresh legal pad, a few sharpened pencils, and a new plastic cigarette.

Yvonne loved the excitement of first dates. All through dinner she wondered if she would let him come home with her. He was smart, and she liked that. She also liked his biceps when he took off his jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves. It was evident that he was trying to impress her, and it was working. “So, you’re in advertising,” Clyde said. She smiled and leaned all the way over so he could see her cleavage. “Yes, I am,” she said. “How am I doing?” Clyde laughed and squeezed her knee under the table. Yvonne loved men with big hands. She parted her legs, inviting him to explore, and he slid up her thigh as though her skin were made of glass. His fingers entered her, and she leaned over even further and touched the tip of her tongue to his lower lip. “Let’s go,” Clyde said. Gripping his wrist through the silk of her skirt, she said, “Not yet. Not just yet. I want to be sure I’m making the right decision.” He nodded, acquiescing to her wisdom.

Barbara wrote furiously, biting down hard on her plastic cigarette. Her heart was racing. I love you, Clyde. She realized it was no longer Yvonne speaking. Barbara stopped writing until heartbeat slowed, and she felt drowsy, just like Yvonne after she took Clyde home for the night.

~*~

“Remember that guy you went out with who would sing all the time?” Kaye said. “That was really weird.”

“Do I remember?” Barbara said. “He took any word from a sentence and matched it to song lyrics. When I told him that I didn’t think it was going to work out, he left me messages for weeks. They say that breaking up is hard to do. Now I know. I know that it’s true. When I called back and told him to stop, he left me a new message. Stop in the name of love.”

“I love that song,” Kaye said.

“What made you think of him?”

“I don’t know.”

They tried to walk early on most mornings, but it was raining hard. Instead, they put on an exercise channel and ate muffins and drank coffee while they watched.

“These muffins are good,” Kaye said. She took another big bite and peered at the television screen as she washed the muffin down with the strong black coffee. “Did you call Ellen?”

“I did. She was still in bed,” Barbara said, picking up a muffin crumb from the counter with a moistened finger. She pointed at the screen. “I’m exhausted just watching them.”

“I still can’t believe that you went out with that guy. It’s not at all like you to give in to pressure.”

“You never met Mrs. Haggerty.”

“And I hope I never will,” Kaye said. “When did you speak to Ellen?”

“Yesterday . . . yes, yesterday afternoon.”

“Yesterday. Love was such an easy game to play. Now I need a place to hide away.  Oh yesterday came suddenly. Why she had to go, I don’t know–“

”Stop! I can’t take it.”

“Sorry. It is kind of fun, though.”

“You see? That’s what my life is like.” Barbara got up to pour herself another cup of coffee. She was exhausted though she had slept well. “More coffee?”

“Sure.”

“He was actually a pretty nice guy. He even knew the difference between fiction and nonfiction,” Barbara said. “And he had a sense of humor.”

“So? What’s the deal? No spark?”

“Spark? You must be joking. I was glad I could follow the conversation. Based on that alone, I even thought about letting him come back here.”

“Oh?” Kaye said. She turned off the television. “And then what happened?”

It would have been so easy to tell Kaye about Delilah. It would have explained so much, but instead Barbara just shrugged. Delilah’s stories were so intimate, so personal. The Delilah persona had become Barbara’s diary, and no one willingly shared her diary, not even with a best friend.

“I guess I chickened out,” Barbara said. “I did kiss him, or at least, I let him kiss me.”

“How was that?” Kaye said.

“Let’s just say that it didn’t make me gag. That’s good as far as I’m concerned.”

“Sorry. It should be more than that, especially the kissing,” Kaye said. “The kissing usually tells everything.”

“Where were you last night, anyway?” Barbara said.

“Last night?” Kaye blew on her coffee though it was no longer hot. “Why do you ask?’

“Because I called, and George said you were out.”

“Out?” Kaye said. “Last night?”

“Out. Last night.” Barbara turned to look at her oddly. “You okay?”

“Oh, I went to the mall with Rose. You remember Rose, don’t you?”

“The woman you did that stuff with for the Breast Cancer Walk?”

“Yes, that’s Rose.”

“But I called you at eleven-thirty,” Barbara said.

“We went out for coffee,” Kaye said. “You sound jealous.”

“Yes, Kaye, I’m definitely jealous of Rose,” Barbara said. “Actually, your husband was the one who sounded jealous.”

“George? Jealous?”

“Yes, George.”

“Oh, he’s fine. He just doesn’t like it when I go out without him. I told him to get some friends.”

“Or at the very least, a twenty-two-year-old girlfriend,” Barbara said.

“That would be fine,” Kaye said.

“Would it be?” Barbara said. “I don’t believe you.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I guess sometimes it seems like it would.”

“You wouldn’t be jealous?”

“I guess, or relieved. I don’t know anymore.”

“I understand,” Barbara said.

“So, how’s the new book going? What is it a sweeping saga of this time?”

“It’s the same sweeping saga, just different characters and a different setting,” Barbara said.

“Sounds suspiciously like life,” Kaye said.

“It is life, only an improved version,” Barbara said.

Kaye walked over to the window and drew back the curtain.

“It stopped raining,” she said. “Want to walk?”

Barbara immediately turned the television back on and smiled.

“I’d rather watch,” she said.

“Now, put that in one of your novels,” Kaye said. “You’ll pick up a male readership.”

“Do I want that?” Barbara said.

And she already was considering the possibility, already writing the scene in her head. Lydia was the one who suggested a three-some with her sister though everyone would probably guess it had been his idea. Not that he didn’t love the idea, of course. Cheyenne was as beautiful as Lydia with even larger breasts…

To find out more about Sinners Guide to Confession — http://www.amazon.com/Sinners-Guide-Confession-Phyllis-Schieber/dp/0425221539

Am I the only woman who ever wonders if her husband actually lives in the marital home? Not because they’re never there, but more because they never know where to find anything, or how to complete the simplest of domestic tasks. Like unloading the dishwasher: in most cases the husbands have lived in the house more or less exactly the same length of time as the wives – so how come crockery and cutlery is randomly placed around the cupboards and has to be tracked down before the next meal? How come they don’t know where it lives?

But this week Husband really took the proverbial biscuit. I had just completed a particularly satisfying gym session and was drying myself in the changing room when I heard my phone ring in my locker. Just too late, I made a grab for it; missed call from Husband. I phoned back immediately (as you do), only to have the most surreal of conversations.
“How do you open the garage door?” He blurts without preamble. (He is taking Tucsy out for the day)
OK, the garage door does stick. “Give it a good shove at the top.”
“No chance. It won’t budge.”
I am puzzled now. “I don’t think I locked it” I venture.
Silence.
“Have you turned the handle?” I ask.
“I didn’t know I had to.”

At this stage I would like to point out two things. The garage door has been on the garage for about six months. And when it was new nobody told me how to open it – I just worked it out. A handle it is; rocket science it ain’t.

When we were courting I seem to remember that same Husband, then Boyfriend, even used to hoover my flat (although he did end up in A&E) and do complicated things like organise holidays. I was so impressed. Oh, to fall into the arms of a man who capably and calmly deals with everything. Except that I would very quickly get fed up with washing his underpants – especially as wearing them outside his clothes would make them particularly grubby. And I’m really not sure I could fancy a man in tights anyway.

Single men, however, do not seem to suffer from domestic amnesia. Take, for example, my good friend Padded Bachelor. Last Saturday I was lucky enough to visit his wonderful bungalow in the clouds and sample his mouth watering pork and cider stew. And I am totally sure that he only professed uncertainty about how to warm a modest portion of the gargantuan quantities he had made in order to pander to my otherwise redundant femininity. Leastways, if he’d been on his own he would have certainly worked it out for himself.

And there he lives, in complete domestic harmony, despite having a long commute and a demanding job. His weekly shopping list and menu plan are tucked under the family photos in his kitchen; he competently deals with his grown up children’s emotional crises; he cooks in bulk to save himself the trouble later. He took his clean washing off the radiators before I arrived – well, he forgot a towel, but we all do that. He even – get this, ladies – made sure the toilet seat was left down.

“Who is this paragon?” I hear you cry, “Where can I find him?” Well, in the nicest possible way; if you want a domestic god, then don’t bother. Because I would wager a penny to a pound that with a woman in residence he would find himself genuinely unable to rinse out a dirty sock. Nothing personal at all – it is the way of all men. If, on the other hand, you want a perfect gentleman with a wicked, but frankly a nine year old’s, sense of humour, then Padded Bachelor is your man. Just don’t expect him to remember where the plates go when he empties the dishwasher.

I spend a decent amount of time on social media sites – including Facebook and I know many other people do too. Now – I have a feeling many people who read this post will know there is a decent number of people on social sites who end up having cyber sex or phone sex with people they know on these sites.

Now – I’m not looking to start any problems for married couples and the vast majority of people I know who are having cyber sex and phone sex are single. Although I have spoken to a couple of married men who were interested in having phone sex – but more about that later.

An Official Description of Phone Sex – For Personal and Business Purposes

Phone sex is a type of virtual sex that refers to sexually explicit conversation between two or more persons via telephone, especially when at least one of the participants masturbates or engages in sexual fantasy. Phone sex conversation may take many forms, including (but not limited to): guided, sexual sounds, narrated, and enacted suggestions; sexual anecdotes and confessions; candid expression of sexual feelings or love; discussion of very personal and sensitive sexual topics; or just two people listening to each other masturbate.

Phone sex exists both in the context of intimate relationships (e.g., among distanced lovers), and as a commercial transaction between a paying customer and a paid professional. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phone_sex)

Phone sex does not involve physical contact between those participating in it. Couples may choose to engage in phone sex when the inconvenience of distance makes physical intimacy inopportune.  Even though the people involved in the call do not have physical contact with one another, they may:

• use webcams to watch each other
• one or each participant may masturbate during the call or chat
• one or each participant may talk with the other person about things they would like to do together
• one or each participant may share what they are doing to themselves while they are on the call or chat
• the conversation or chat can often lead to orgasm for one or both participants

These are some of the more common possibilities – what options would you add to the list?

Due to the potential for emotional intimacy between those who have engaged in phone sex, it is a matter of some debate whether phone sex is to be considered a form of infidelity when involving a person outside of a committed personal relationship. Nevertheless, phone sex should not be confused with prostitution wherein money is exchanged for real-life sexual services or physical interactions.

Limited Sex Life With Your Spouse

Earlier I mentioned some married men who wanted to have phone sex with someone and they said it was to compensate for a limited or non existent sex life with their wife. So, I suggested that they have phone sex with their wife. If both people could be opened minded – it could offer a chance to discuss what the other likes, or wants and needs from their sex life.

We all know people who feel they don’t get what they need from their significant other. I think most of us also know married individuals who have a very limited sex life. There are various reasons for this and I will keep my thoughts to myself about this situation. But, it does seem that couples who are in love with each other, but have no sex life or a very limited sex life – should be looking for ways to work their way back to each other — mentally, emotionally and physically.

Reasons for Phone Sex or Cyber Sex

Some reasons to engage in phone sex and/or cyber sex is because you are far away from your loved one. Sometimes this could be temporary – or it could be a long term situation. I will agree that it is NOT the same as touching the person and being with them in person. However, it is very possible to develop a great intimacy between two people with phone sex or cyber sex. This is especially true with people who are very open and who communicate well with one another.

Many people who spend time online – whether in chat rooms, on social networks, through webcam or any other way – will admit they have developed some incredible and long lasting relationships with people they met online. I have been very involved with online writing communities for about 8 years and I have many very good friends who I have gotten to know very well and who I can count on in difficult times – but I’ve never met them in person. It is amazing to find out how close you can become with people that you’ve never met — face to face. This is another example of that bond that we can develop with people online.

These are my thoughts on phone sex and cyber sex — I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Do you have phone sex or cyber sex? If so, why?

Have you developed close relationships with online friends?

Did I miss something else that should be mentioned? There is plenty of other possibilities — please post a comment and share your thoughts.

I was planning to write an article about unigasms, bigasms and trigasms, but this article has all the details and Dr Ava did a wonderful job with her instructions, so I’ll share her information with you. You’re going to have a lot of fun if you try this — even if you don’t get it right the first time, you will have fun and you know what Dr Ava says — Practice, practice, practice….

I referred to these techniques in a toy review I posted yesterday — click here to learn more.

The Big “O” In Search of the Ultimate Orgasm by Dr Ava Cadell (Founder of Loveology University)

As humans we are always in search of the ultimate orgasm whether it’s with our soul mate, a one night stand, a bottle of booze, or mind altering drugs.  It is our second basic instinct after self-preservation.  So why are we seeking that euphoric, mind-blowing, earth shattering, energy melting orgasm? We seek to lose that part of ourselves which connects to the everyday and mundane, and for a brief moment of eternity reach out and feel the all-embracing Karma, the essence of the universe, making, for that one brief moment, our tiny insignificant essence part of a much greater supreme whole.  Perhaps therefore, the “ultimate orgasm” is our shorthand for losing the pain and hassle of being human, and seeking to transcend the fleshly prison for one brief instant in which we can float ethereally like gods.

Choose Your Orgasm

There are many different kinds of orgasm that you can experience from stimulation of different parts of your body.  Each one will create different kinds of feelings ranging from quick, short, localized, deep, concentrated, to full body orgasms.  This is your opportunity to experiment with as many different kinds of orgasm as you can.  Remember that orgasm is good for your health so it’s doctors’ orders!

A UniGasm

This is an orgasm where stimulation is directed to one primary erogenous zone such as the penis, prostate, testicles, clitoris, G-spot, anus, or nipples. Nipple stimulation for men and women can produce an orgasm, though it’s not as common as some of the other erogenous zones.  For women, having their breasts caressed and nipples sucked releases Oxytocin, the chemical that makes them feel like they are in love.  Masters and Johnson discovered that one percent of women were able to achieve orgasm from breast stimulation alone.  This is an area that many men enjoy stimulating during foreplay, but rarely think of as having orgasmic potential.  To give memorable oral sex on her breasts and nipples you need to understand that the size of her breasts have nothing to do with the sensitivity.  Ask her if she gets turned on by having her breasts played with.  If so, then follow these directions.   Begin by caressing and licking both of her breasts, not just her nipples.  Alternate each one as you use the flat of your tongue in lapping motions all around her breasts covering every centimeter.  Follow your tongue with light fingertip caresses, leaving her nipples until last.  When both breasts are suitably wet from your tongue, cup your hand over one breast at a time so that the tip of her nipple rests in between your thumb and your index finger. Squeeze the fingers together so that you raise her nipple slightly, and then begin licking it with the tip of your tongue in circular motions.  After about a dozen licks or so, pucker your lips around the nipple and suck gently but firmly; let your head bob up and down simultaneously.  To enhance oral nipple sensation, put an ice cube in your mouth while lavishing her orally.  Don’t forget to give equal attention to both breasts and nipples.  When she is climaxing do not stop or change what you are doing.  Let her push you away when she is ready.

For male nipple stimulation, the directions are pretty much the same, except men are more interested in having immediate nipple contact with deeper vacuum sucking motions from the woman- not so much teasing around the nipple area.  Some men enjoy having their nipples nibbled on.  So ladies, it’s up to you to find out how much pain or pleasure your man wants on his nipples.  Some men have one nipple that is more sensitive than the other.  While you suck on one, you can pinch the other one and then ask him which one feels most erotic.  You could be the first one to introduce him to a UniGasm through his nipples.  Now that’s what I call creating a lasting mammary, (I mean memory)!

A BiGasm

Many people are experienced with various forms of dual stimulation—a penis and a tongue, a vagina and a tongue a finger and a tongue, and various other combinations.  Here are some ideal ways to create two points of stimulation at the same time.

This will be more intense than a UniGasm so it’s worth exploring.  It can be licking his testicles while masturbating his penis, sucking on her clitoris while penetrating her anus with a finger (preferably covered with a finger cot), sucking his penis while massaging the testicles, licking her perineum while fingering her vagina, and lets not forget good old fashioned penetration too.  Have fun experimenting with different combinations on your lover’s body.  Ask for feedback so that you know which combinations are most exciting for you both.

The TriGasm for Her

So, here’s the revolution, the ultimate orgasm—TriGasm.  A female TriGasm is the result of arousing 3 points of pleasure, the clitoris, G-spot, and anus simultaneously.  Here are some tips for you and your partner as you go off on your TriGasm exploration.

The TriGasm for Him

The TriGasm for Men is also the result of stimulating 3 points of pleasure, the penis, the testicles and the anus simultaneously.

Blended Orgasm

A blended orgasm is much like the BiGasm with a little twist.  The intention for the blended orgasm is to make it last much longer by teasing your lover and stimulating one primary erogenous zone, then teasing another, then going back to the first and so on.  Start by choosing your favorite orgasm technique (such as oral stimulation on the clitoris for a woman and oral stimulation on the penis for a guy).  Get aroused to a level 6 on your pleasure scale, and then switch to another orgasm technique you enjoy (such as G-spot for a woman and prostate for a guy) and get aroused to a level 7 this time.  Switch back to the first technique, raise your arousal level to 8 and then back to the second technique at least three times before reaching a level 10 on your orgasm scale.

This orgasm technique is a wonderful way to monitor your pleasure scale and is most beneficial for men who suffer from premature ejaculation.  Whenever they feel like they are about to reach their orgasm, they move their attention to another erogenous zone to distract the point of no return action.

Mind over Body Orgasm

Since the brain is the most erotic organ in the body, it should be no surprise that you can think your way to orgasm.  Sexual thoughts can activate the brain just like sexual touching does.  If you’ve ever enjoyed looking at porn, you’ll know what I’m talking about.  Visuals of people having sex can automatically trigger your body into a state of arousal, making women wet and giving men erections.  If you continued to watch erotica without touching yourself, you could still experience a full-blown orgasm.  Even if you’re not into porn, you can achieve a mind over body orgasm by tapping into all of your five senses.  To begin, wet your genitals with your own saliva or some lubricant, and then using only your imagination, think about what your lover’s tongue would feel like between your legs; what he or she smells like when fully aroused; visualize what they look like naked; imagine touching, kissing, licking and tasting his or her body.  Hear them moaning with pleasure.  Become aware of your own feelings as you let your excitement build.  The trick here is not to touch yourself, but to let the ebb and flow of your orgasm take you on a mental journey to sexual ecstasy.  This can also be fun to do with a partner as a safe sex activity.

• Orgasm enables us to surrender complete control
• Orgasm is the best form of escape from reality
• Orgasm is the most natural high
• Orgasm is wired to our brain, not between our legs
• Orgasm gives us indisputable confidence
• Orgasm teaches us to accept who we are
• Orgasm satisfies us physically
• Orgasm satisfies us emotionally
• Orgasm can be a spiritual experience
• Orgasm is addictive
• Orgasm cannot be hurried or pushed by anyone
• Orgasm can unite two lovers into one

If you have never experienced an orgasm you may be suffering from gynecological, hormonal, or even neurological disorders, but more commonly you could have a psychological block such as:

• Traumatic past sexual experience
• Fear of losing control of yourself
• Resentment towards your partner
• Feeling guilty about sex
• Fear of pregnancy
• Fear of intimacy
• Fear of failure
• Fear of rejection
• Ignorance about your bodies responses
• Lack of stimulation
• Low self-esteem and self-worth
• Being too inhibited
• Poor communication
• Unrealistic expectations

This article is posted here – https://www.loveologyuniversity.com/LUPages/TheBigO.aspx?a_aid=litekepr

Learn More About Orgasms -

To learn much more about am online course from Dr Ava about all elements of Orgasm that is offered through Loveology University – visit this page – http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/ShortCourseDetails.aspx?CourseID=9. This is a course that you can take in your own home.

This is my first review for CalExotics and I’m playing with possible formats to use. So, if you have suggestions, feel free to let me know.

The evening this toy was delivered was the first time I’d handled a “wand”. Keep in mind that I have limited exposure and experience with sex toys – so you will get a slightly different perspective from me — but I plan for each of us to have fun with these reviews. And, I hope that I can share some pros, cons, tips and maybe some offbeat suggestions that will help you find toys that would be the best for you.

So – a Crystal Chic Wand — initially, I didn’t have a lot of ideas for this toy, but that changed. I prefer to use my imagination and not to be swayed by other people, so I only read the cleaning instructions, which I’ll share soon.

What is your first impression of this toy? I’ll share the specifics from the CalExotics site:

Waterproof is good – makes it easier to clean and you never know when you might want to spice up a bath or shower. The finish is very smooth and soft – so it feels great on your skin. Let’s skip bendable for a minute, but trust me – we’ll cum back to it. 3 speeds is nice – you need multiple speeds because you never know what mood you may be in and I like to be able to change the speed or vibration depending on how aroused I am. 6 hours on high speed – nice battery life and if you alter speeds, you can get up to 12 hours of use – but batteries are cheap and it only needs 1 AA. The dimensions are unique – I’m used to toys with a wider diameter – but it sort of resembles a long finger. Hmm, more about that soon too – but I will tell you that got my mind working.

So – let’s break it down —

PROS -

Smooth, adjustable and bendable, multi speeds, attractive (black is one of my favorite colors), waterproof, only needs 1 battery (so economical). The tip is small, but not too small – more about that in the suggested options below. This toy is very easy to clean thoroughly – simply pull the top and twist to look into place, clean thoroughly, twist again and it closes.

CONS -

I don’t really like the on/off switch and have had some problems with it.

SUGGESTED OPTIONS -

Here are some suggested uses I can recommend. I am sure there are many other great uses and I invite you to share your ideas with my blog readers. What have you tried that you enjoyed?

• This is ideal for anal play – insert a little or the full length, depending on what feels good for you.

• I’ve talked to and been very happy to discover a good number of straight men who are interested in a little anal stimulation. They are fascinated to learn they have a G-Spot and to learn that it can easily be stimulated. (Just ask, I’d be happy to share info about this So, a little anal probe can be stimulating for women and men.

• The wand has a series of balls which all move independently with the vibration and this makes it ideal for stimulating many parts of your body, breasts, anus, clitoris, vagina, etc -

• If you want to stimulate other areas, I see no reason it couldn’t be used to tickle behind your lover’s ear, their knee, along the spine – you could use it anywhere you would use a finger or two…. You will notice I like to play

• This vibrator is small enough that you might want to use it with 1 or 2 others, depending on what you are in the mood for and for various stimulation.

• This is great for female G-Spot stimulation.

Okay – as promised, one of the very cool things about how this wand bends. I was hesitant to bend it very far at first, but found out how far it can be bent. You can bend it to shape something that resembles a horseshoe or your finger if its bent. Are you asking why that is useful? Because it can be shaped to hit your G-spot very easily. Cum on ladies – how many men can find their woman’s G-spot without a road map? There are some, and the ones I know are firmly embedded in my memory – but some guys and some women need help locating their G-Spot.  This wand can help. If you aren’t familiar with how to locate and/or how to stimulate the G-Spot — read this article. Have you ever wanted a very intense and often prolonged orgasm? You have to try this and the crystal chic wand is just the tool to help you find the spot and stimulate it – it will also make it much easier for your lover to find and stimulate your G-Spot.  I’ll plan to post an article about the G-Spot and some suggestions on my blog later this week for people who are interested. Along these same lines, if you have the Crystal Chic Wand – that can be one step toward having a bigasm or trigasm, on your own or with your partner. I’ll include those details in the article too

Finally – this may be off beat for some people, but people who spend any time having phone sex or cyber sex will appreciate this suggestion. Imagine your loved one is out of town on business or lives far away. You want to be intimate with them, but time and space make that impossible sometimes. So, you go into a private chat room, you send racy texts to each other or you get on the phone and fantasize with each other. Often, this includes mutual masturbation – that would mean, you are each masturbating where ever you are. So, not to be crude, but that can get messy if you need to type in a chat or on your phone if you are texting. Now – what if you had a vibrator that had a tip that felt very much like his finger or your finger or maybe his tongue on your body? Are you starting to get some ideas on how you can get some stimulation with the crystal chic wand while you’re on the phone or in the chatroom? I’m not saying this is for everyone, but I think some readers will find it useful.

I would love to hear your ideas and suggestions. How have you used the Crystal Chic Wand or a similar product? I had a good number of male friends send me suggestions – but I’d love to hear some more ideas.

To find out more about this product, visit the CalExotics website and this is the page for this product – http://www.calexotics.com/index.php?MODE=VIEW&TYPE=PRODUCT&PRODUCTID=3492

I’m thinking my review rating system will be silk robes – and I’ll tell you how silk robes will be shed for each product. For the Crystal Chic Wand – Let’s shed 4 1/2 Silk robes.

Mitzi

PS – For more information about orgasm, unigasm, bigasm and trigasms — http://shedyourinhibitions.com/2009/11/16/in-search-of-the-ultimate-orgasm-by-dr-ava-cadell/

I’m posting details about my latest sexpert course certification. Since I’m going to be reviewing toys for CalExotics, I thought it would be good to go ahead and complete the Loveology University course on sex toys. I figured it would give me interesting background and knowledge about the wide variety of sex toys that are on the market – and I was right.

I like the cover page for the course, it lists the types of sex toys the course covers, including: butt plugs, lotions and potions, vibrators, dolls, B & D and S & M toys, oral delights, rings and love kits. I will admit that a few months ago, I had very little knowledge about most of these things and certainly very little detail about how to use them. So, this course was a real eye opener and gave me all kinds of ideas.

The course gives detailed information about all these items, how they are made, how to care for them, how to use them, things you should not use or do, tips about usual and unique items – did you know there are vegan toys for an example? Me neither But the course starts with the history of sex toys. Did you know that goats eyelids were used as sex toys in 1100, that Ben Wa Balls were introduced in 500 AD, and clit stimulators in 1600? Just a few tidbits from the section about the history of sex toys

Do you think the only toys are vibrators, dildos and nipple toys? Boy are you missing all kinds of possibilities and fun.

This chart blew my mind the first time I saw it.

Sex toys are also for anyone, married, gay, lesbian, straight, single, men, women, couples, solo – and just about any combination you can think of. Some people are usually less shy or embarassed to purchase and use sex toys, but that doesn’t mean other people aren’t curious or interested.

In this course, you learn tips to incorporate toys into an existing relationship or maybe to add additional stimulation and satisfaction to masturbation – whether mutual or solo masturbation.

Whether a person is trying to decide what type of toys to use, learn how to use them, how to care for them or anything else, this is a great course and its definitely packed with details, visuals and more information than I think most people could ever use.

But, what about people in the sex toy party business? This is a fantastic tool for them to use – I can imagine the reaction of customers at a toy party as they see the many, many uses for various toys. This is a short video that shows a preview of what is included in this course AND information has been added to the course – http://www.youtube.com/loveologytv#p/c/F3E66B1458F71DC4/3/X1MG1m-hZYQ

I definitely recommend that you take a look at this course or any of the other courses offered at Loveology University. I’m having a great time working through the courses and learning so much…

To learn much more about this course – www.loveologyuniversity.com/ShortCourseDetails.aspx?CourseID=61. The full table of contents is at the bottom of this post – I think you will be amazed at all the topics and information here

This Course Is For You If:

• You want to Learn About All of the Varieties of Sex Toys for Men & Women
• You want to Introduce Sex Toys Into Your Relationship
• You want to Find the Best Sex Toy for You and/or Your Partner
• You want to Expand Your Sexual Horizon by Finding Out if You Need Any Sex Toys

In the spirit of giving equal time, I will post the following question –

How Often Do Men Masturbate?

I have a good number of male friends and just about all are very open that they masturbate. Last week I posted an article that claims 92% of women masturbate — I think its great that 92% are willing to admit that they pleasure themselves. I would think that 100% of men would admit the same thing — but for kicks, I want to see what they will say.

I think its very healthy and that should masturbate – if they aren’t already getting enough sex to be satisfied. But, I’ve seen comments from people who claim they get enough sex with their partner – so they don’t need to masturbate.  What do you all think — even if you’re getting regular and frequent sex – does that mean you shouldn’t or won’t masturbate? Sure both have the potential to bring you to orgasm – but does it have to be one or the other?

If you have another thought – feel free to comment on it. I like to hear what people have to say.

One last question — do you have thoughts about mutual masturbation – that would be with a partner? Either in person or long distance. If you do – are you willing to share those thoughts?

We had been chatting for quite some time when I told him that he is my occassional indulgence. I think he quite liked that as next day he text me  that he needs to indulge. We had already worked out that it had been a little over 2 months since our last indulgence. For both of us family life had got in the way, although we had managed to chat online and exchange various text message.

We had discussed the changes in me during the years we have been friends. I am much more confident in myself now. He thinks I am a strong woman who knows what she wants and goes out and gets it.  That may be a slight exaggeration from my view. If that had been true he wouldn’t now be my occassional indulgence. But these days while I let my body enjoy his I keep my heart closely guarded from him. He recently told me that he thinks about me more than I know. But still I doubt he thinks of me I would wish.

I have made it clear to him that I am nolonger in the market for casual affairs. However no man will stop me from being friends with him. Once I find Mr Right there will be no more indulging but in the meantime he is my only indulgence. I know he will be hard to give up but give him up as a sexual partner I will. Our friendship has been non sexual for longer periods than it has been sexual so I know we can continue to be friends just as we did before.

We agreed a day for our indulgence, during the afternoon he text that we would have to make it slightly later than usual as he had a goodbye drink to go to. Fine that gave me longer to pamper myself. Then came the text …..slight problem will text later when all clear.

Several text later and the clock was still ticking, I had given him half an hour or it would be too late (he doesn’t live in the same neighbourhood). Eventually I told him that it would be a pity to miss what could be our last chance seeing as there is a potential Mr Right on the horizon.

He replied that once again other people not being organised cause him to suffer…… But it did prompt him to make sure he didn’t miss out.  Finally I arrived at his place at 10.30pm. I told him not to bother making tea, we went straight into his lounge to begin our passionate kissing. I love it when he twists my hair in his hand as he kisses me. He doesn’t believe it is right to cause pain and could never knowingly do so, yet when he tugs on my hair he sends spasms through me making me wet with desire. We always kiss for ages without stopping for breath, ocasionally shifting position. We both enjoy these kissing sessions enormously, our legs entwined. This time as it is nolong summer I am wearing stockings under my black skirt. My yellow stilletto heels pushed to one side as I slide my leg between his jean clad legs. 

He breaks off to kiss my neck and I fnd his nipples under his sweater to play with. My hands wander over his chest playing with his chest hair, then down over his belly (he had proudly announced a week or so ago that he has lost some weight). Along his leg and back to his groin I feel the hardness of his tool. His hand finds it way under my skirt, gently caressing the nylon of my stocking. Up past the top of the elasticate lace to bare flesh. I hold my breath as his fingers reach the edge of my high leg panties. I expect his fingers to begin probing, my kisses become more urgent. But his touch remains featherlight barely discernable. This is driving me crazy, I want his fingers inside me spreading my hot juice, but still he teases me. I can feel my wetness increasing as I become more excited.

Pulling away from his kiss I tell him he is a very sexy man and he should take me upstairs now!  He doesn’t agrue but rises from his seat and leads me to his bedroom. I remember how that first night in his room he left the light off but since then the light has been on the whole time. I smile inwardly as he pulls my green top up over my head tossing it onto the floor behind him. Next he fiddles with the clasp of my black and red bra. That too is tossed onto the floor, sliding his sweater up for him to pull off I marvel as his chest hair is revealed at my eye level. He has enough hair to make it a joy to run  my fingers through without being too much.

Boldly unbuttoning his jeans I push them towards the floor, I had known before I left home that he would be commando. He usually is but not always. Next I lose my skirt as t pools around my feet swiftly followed by the black lace of my now wet panties. A few more kisses and he guides me backward to the edge of his bed. Gently pushing me into a sitting position before him I lean dow n to his manhood taking his stiff member in my hand swirling  my tongue as I taste him again for the first time in months. I have missed the  taste and feel of his cock in my mouth, greedily I take his head into my mouth savouring the taste of him. This is what I have been needing all this time.

All the time I am licking and sucking on this lovely cock my hands are wrapped around him stroking and squeezing his firm buttocks. How I adore this man and his body, I could play with his cock and his bum for hours but age is catching up with me and my back is aching. regretfully I pull away from his erect penis. He picks up my legs I think is going to place them on his shoulders and enter my wet aching pussy. Instead he swings my legs around and climbs onto his fur covered bed beside me. His mouth finds mine as his fingers  find my inviting cunt. This time there is no gently teasing but fingers plunging into the depths of me as he begins to finger fuck me, the sound of my wetness fills the room. He rubs my juice into and around my labia until I can take nomore.

He positions himself above me as he goes down on my pussy licking and sucking my clit.  His cock invitingly close to my mouth I don’t need any persuasion, latching on sucking for dear life I just can’t get enough of this.  His sweet cock in my mouth and his skilled tongue in my pussy life doesn’t get much better than this. The more his tongue makes me cum the more I suck on his cock. Too much of this and I am likely to bite it off in my excitement. I have to contain my pleasure and break away from him. We lay side by side as we catch our collective breath, my hands have a mind of their own and soon I notice that instictively my right hand is stroking and pulling on his erection. He warns me that too much of that and he will explode.

I take the hint and climb onto him, its time for my cow girl ride. It is obvious that two months has been too long as I find it a little more difficult than usual but after wincing a few times I get into the swing of it and soon my breasts are bouncing before his mesmerised blue eyes. Alternating between sitting upright as our rhythum increases and laying prone along his body grinding my clit against his pubis we both cum with a shudder. Slowly I climb back off him as we lay together again enjoying our post coital chat. But it is getting late we both have work in the morning. Hastily we dress and he shows me out into the dark night.

I do hope things work out for me with this new potential man in my life but I shall miss my passinate sessions with Fred. I wonder if it would be too much to ask if he is free again early this week?

I was on necolebitchie.com yesterday and ran across this video. This guy Life Skills is now my favorite youtuber. He’s a relationship blogger and what I like about him is that he takes scriptures from the Bible and then goes on to say what he interprets it as, and is usually on point with it. The 1st video is titled “If you’re not married, you’re single” and I’ll be lying if I didn’t say he told me about myself LOL. I now have to go re-examine what standards I want to set for my next relationship & after you watch this you might want to go re-evaluate your current or future relationship as well. Check it out & view more videos after the jump!

Here’s another video he has on why men cheat…

Here’s another on what love is…

Check out his site ihustlenation.com

Today the Daily Beast reported that Atlanta is the number 1 BEST city for (presumably) women to meet single, educated men. My first question was What the hell? My second thought was Where they at? Most of the single men I know are batting for the other team or are not interested in putting a ring on it, mostly because the number of single women are far in their favor.

Ladies, where are the best places for meeting single, heterosexual men in the ATL?

I’m watching an episode from a BBC series and two of the characters were just having an interesting conversation.

This is the part I wanted to share -

She said her last boyfriend decided that sex with her wasn’t worth a 3 hour drive to see her.

He said that he isn’t seeing anyone because sex with him is only worth a 5 minute walk.

That exchange prompted these thoughts —

• How would lovers describe you?

• How would you describe past or present lovers?

Is sex with you “worth the effort”?

If not – what can you do to be “worth the effort”?

What makes a person “worth more effort”?

I’d be interested to hear what you think.

Mitzi

This is a topic that frequently comes up when I’m chatting with friends – online and offline. Anyone has talked to me or read much of my writing – knows that I like younger men. That isn’t to exclusive men that are older than me – just that I am open to talking with and getting to know younger men too.  For me – an attraction to a guy is about so much more than our ages – but it is an interesting element that brings up some fascinating questions and I don’t think a difference in age should eliminate someone from consideration – unless they are underage So, the article I’m sharing below caught my attention this morning on MSN.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this topic — what do you think???

(This article was posted on October 9, 2009 – http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articleoprah.aspx?cp-documentid=21382350&page=0)

What Does Age Have to Do with Love?

We read the women’s sports pages (i.e. the wedding announcements) as avidly as anyone, and is it just us, or are there more and more couples with more than a few years between them? How’s that working for them?

By Lois Smith Brady from “O, The Oprah Magazine”

For over a decade now, I have written about weddings for The New York Times, and learned one lesson: Love can blindside you. Over and over again, I’ve interviewed people who kept lists of qualities they were looking for in a spouse — a Wall Street banker, a vegetarian, a skier, a poet, someone who recycles, someone who drives a Porsche, someone under 30 — and then fell in love with a completely different type of person, someone much younger or older, say, than they pictured.

That happened to me once. When I was 25, I spent ten days in Rome doing things I had never done: staying in hotels that cost more than $50 a night, eating pasta that wasn’t Stouffer’s. I also met a man who quoted poetry and knew all about wine and astrology and Roman history and which fork to use when presented with several in a fancy restaurant. I thought he was drop-dead gorgeous. He was 80. He wasn’t a father figure — he was a grandfather figure.

At the end of our weeklong romance, we exchanged addresses and phone numbers. I waited longer than I have ever waited for any man to call me — I was in my 30s before I gave up hope, and only because I figured he was probably dead. But what I learned was, you might think it’s not possible to fall in love with someone 55 years older than you, but as with most things you think you can’t possibly do — fly an airplane, learn Chinese, move to Paris alone — you actually can.

Still, there’s a big difference between being swept off your feet and staying for the long haul. A generation gap makes both people ask hard questions about love, aging, permanence, sacrifice, and family. And when it’s the woman who’s much older, as I’m seeing more and more often these days, she becomes more conscious of the fragility of her beauty, her fertility, her 20/20 vision.

Dianne Dallin, 46, met her husband Mike, 32, in the middle of the Utah desert, on a canyoneering trip. She was divorced with two children. Her first impression of him was: “He’s very cute and very young.” She wrote him off. But he was interested in her right away. “I’ve never been specifically attracted to older women, younger women, whatever,” he says. “For me, it’s a question of what the person is like inside — which is why the age difference wasn’t a red flag.”

For a year and a half, they were canyoneering and rock climbing partners, strictly platonic. On Friday nights after work, they’d drive from their homes in Colorado to remote canyons, sometimes eight or ten hours away. She set him up with one of her younger friends, and had a long list of others to introduce him to. “Then, suddenly, I felt myself falling in love, and I really agonized,” she says. “What if I tell this guy I want to be more than friends and he says, ‘Oh my God, you’re like a mother to me’?”

Finally, one night after 12 hours in the canyons and almost a full bottle of wine, she was so exhausted and tipsy that she got up the courage to say, “Do you want to take this relationship further?” He smiled, and they spent that night in their sleeping bags hugging and kissing.

Dianne says that now that she’s married to Mike, she worries more about her looks than ever before. “I think that when men date younger women, it makes them feel a lot younger. But for women, being with somebody younger makes us feel older. We’re more critical of ourselves. I don’t feel older all the time, just when I look in the mirror. When we’re hiking, his knees are worse than mine.”

Since falling in love with Mike, she has needed to redefine beauty. “When you’re with a younger person, you have to think, ‘What’s going to happen in five years? Ten? Is he going to leave me?’ Your answer could be, ‘I’m going to get a facelift.’ My answer is, ‘I’m going to be such a beautiful person inside that it’s going to shine through to the outside,’” she says.

Not long ago, Dianne asked Mike if she should get Botox. He said no way. “One thing that makes our relationship strong is the fact that we were friends for so long beforehand,” he says. “So when it comes to physical beauty, yeah, you get older, you get wrinkles, you get gray hair, but it’s not that big a deal.”

For many couples with an age difference, the most soul-searching conversations are about children — whether to have them, when to have them, if there’s time. Dianne and Mike talked a lot about family around their desert campfires. “I knew he didn’t want kids, and he knew I didn’t want any more,” she says. “If he had told me he wanted them, I would never have dated him.”

For Carolanne McKirnan, 50, and Duncan Burke, 33, who live together in Boulder, Colorado, the question of children is still unanswered. “I’m not interested in having more kids,” says Carolanne, who has a 20-year-old son and a teenage daughter. “If Duncan decides children are an absolute necessity, he has to make a decision. We’re both aware of that.”

Age-gap relationships need to be flexible, and sometimes they’re in the spirit of “love the one you’re with while you’re with him.” Carolanne, who wasn’t expecting to be in love at all, has learned to take things as they come. When she met Duncan two years ago, she had recently opened a linen store and was more focused on searching for extraspecial percale cotton sheets than on finding romance. “I was a single mother, trying to get my business off the ground,” she says. “I write. I try to draw a picture every day. I play the cello.” Her attitude toward love and marriage was: Been there, done that.

Then she hired Duncan to design a Web site for her shop. He’s similar to her — an artistic person who likes to play guitar for hours, who prefers quiet evenings and going to bed early over rowdy parties. “He’s extremely graceful and very funny and handsome and old-world polite,” she says. She could tell he was the kind of guy — and there aren’t many at any age — who’d appreciate high-thread-count sheets woven at a monastery in India.

Still, she didn’t let herself imagine they could be a couple. Boulder is a town full of beautiful, eligible young women. “The cultural norm prevented me from having any kind of relationship fantasy,” she says. “If the older woman has money, she’s seen as pathetic because she’s buying the attention of a younger man. If she has no money, it seems like she’s just hanging on to her lost youth. Those are pretty severe judgments.”

But Duncan asked her out to a movie, then wondered aloud, “Was that a date?” Not long after, they spent the night together in her cottage, and he never left.

In the beginning, Carolanne hoped they would blend in with other couples walking down the street. “I was extremely concerned that we’d be treated as an oddity,” she says. “Now I don’t think about that. The more we’re together, the more we look like we belong together.”

Liz Banks is 51 — but she is a generation younger than her husband, and that’s how she likes it. “I did not date men my age,” says Liz, who lives in Chicago with baseball legend Ernie Banks, 76. “I am a very driven woman. I enjoyed being with men who were career oriented and comfortable in their own skin. And I loved being challenged by men with more experience.”

Liz doesn’t need to worry about looking older than Ernie, yet a May-December romance like hers inevitably raises the question of the end. Liz has trained herself not to think about how much time she and her husband have together. “God picks us at all different ages,” she says. “When will he take Ernie? I don’t know. I don’t believe in looking to tomorrow. I really believe in living in the moment.”

Many couples say an age-gap relationship can be a great window into other generations — at dinner you might discuss World War II with a much older mate, or blogs with a younger one. “I turned 50 in December,” says Elizabeth Yoakum, a graphic designer in Sheffield, Massachusetts, who met her boyfriend, Josh Buell, eight years ago. “He turned 37 the day after my birthday. We have about the same age difference as Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon.”

Their circle of friends includes his and hers, young and middle-aged, a wonderful, eclectic, challenging gang. “Josh’s friends are all 30-something, and now some of them are married to even younger people,” she says. She has never felt self-conscious around them. “It’s not as if people come up to me and say, ‘I don’t like hanging out with you because you’re too old.’ You don’t have to be in a certain age group to know what’s hip anymore. We all have the Internet.”

But it does help to be of a particular mind-set. “If you’re very conscious of how far your relationship is from the norm, then every day you’re going to see those differences,” Elizabeth says. “I wasn’t raised to be by-the-book.”

If Chris Crowley, 72, goes by any book, it’s the one he wrote: Younger Next Year. He is on a mission to stay as youthful as he can for his wife, Hilary Cooper, 48. Chris rows several times a week, rides his bicycle through the Rocky Mountains and the Dolomites, and spends a month skiing in Aspen every winter. “Older men married to younger women have a duty to stay in great shape and work out like lunatics so their wives won’t ever have to wipe the goo off their faces,” he says. “Seventy-five percent of aging is rot — you get a little fatter, a little more apathetic, a little more pain racked. But you don’t have to go there.”

Both say Hilary, a portrait painter, is the wise old parent in the marriage, more fiscally responsible and always the designated driver. Chris is the kid who doesn’t worry about debt and dances like a maniac at parties. “From the moment I met him, I knew he was such a young spirit,” Hilary says. “He introduced me to the athletic lifestyle. I’d never skied before; I’d never mountain biked; I’d never gone windsurfing. I wore only black. Chris is 24 years older, but he’s really so much younger. I am never bored with him, never ever.” But, Hilary says half seriously, half sarcastically, “I get sad because he is going to leave me for another woman: death.”

“We have different horizons,” Chris says. “I know I’m going to be dead way too soon, and it makes me sick. We are inseparable, and inevitably, she’ll get left. But hey, that’s the deal.”

Age-gap relationships warp both partners’ inner timelines and long-held presumptions about where their lives are going. Sometimes things are done out of order, just because there’s chronological confusion to begin with. Jill Adler’s boyfriend, Ryan Freitas, is 27; she is 39. They met at a bar in Park City, Utah, four years ago, and for the first year they dated, she lied to him about her age. “Then one day I had my driver’s license out and wouldn’t let him see it. He asked, ‘What are you hiding from me?’ Finally, I said, ‘Just look at it. If you’re going to walk away, walk now.’”

He stayed. In 2005 Jill really wanted to get pregnant, but Ryan wanted to turn 30 before becoming a father. She told him she couldn’t wait that long, biologically. So he made the leap. They weren’t married, he was scared to death, yet he still said to her, “I’m your man.”

“Think back to when you were 26,” she says. “At that age, I didn’t want to have a kid, so I kind of understood. But he didn’t want me to miss out on the opportunity. It was basically a gift from him. He was doing me this great favor. And I never said, ‘Now you have to move in; now you have to marry me.’ It was just, ‘You are going out of your way to do something incredible for me, so whatever you need to do is totally your prerogative.’”

For all its challenges, an age gap can also provide a chance to slow down and take a deep breath. Sarah Belle, 49, lives in Iowa City with her husband, Haywood, 67. She loves his easygoing pace and low-key, old-fashioned sense of romance. He buys her gifts, but they are more thoughtful than flashy, like a single flower or a new umbrella. “When we were dating, every time I came to visit he’d have licorice — I love licorice,” she says. He never tried to wow her with expensive jewelry or clothes — even though, as a successful real estate developer, he could afford to. “He didn’t have to prove anything,” she says. “When people are younger, they often try to sell themselves.” And the prospect of nursing him if he becomes seriously ill is fine with her. “Of course I’ll be there to take care of him!” Sarah says enthusiastically, as if she were talking about a cocktail party she will definitely be attending.

I’ve often heard that love should be easy, that even the hardships shouldn’t feel so hard. I believe there’s some truth to the Cinderella fairy tale — your partner should be like a shoe that fits perfectly, not one you have to force because you want to live in a castle and wear a tiara. More than anything, Dianne Dallin says, being married to a man 14 years younger has taught her to keep her eye on the essentials: Does it feel right? Is he kind? Do I love him? If the answers are yes, she says, then nothing else really matters.

More from MSN Lifestyle Site Search: For additional content on age differences, click here.

Lois Smith Brady © 2009 Harpo Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

I walk. I don’t drive. I like to take in the scenery. Meet people. Get out into the world. The temptation of convenience in nearly every aspect of my daily life is superceded by a stronger desire for personal freedom. I don’t mind the bus or the train. In fact, some of the nicest people I know were people I met on buses and trains. I also like to relax. I don’t like to have the burden of rush-hour traffic or rego payments on my conscience. I don’t mind having to rely on a sometimes strange and disorganised public transport system. I’m easy. Very rarely am I fussed about anything.

However, there are social implications to not driving a car that are blatantly obvious. It’s no secret that most single women (per se) will not date a non-driver. Why? Well just ask one. For a lot of women it’s embarrassing if the guy doesn’t own a car. Mainly because of the social stigma that applies to non-drivers. I’ve encountered this a fair bit myself and it’s not particularly nice. People tend to assume that you’re the type to get others to taxi you around without appreciating the petrol costs, the time and the effort it takes in doing so. Well I’ve never expected anyone to do that. I’ve always been quite efficient in getting myself wherever I’ve needed to go, without exception. I see driving as a personal choice, and personally I prefer not to.

As I said, I prefer to take the scenic route. Enjoy the sun. As far as the social implications? I’m well used to them, and I don’t care much for them to be honest. Not that I’m particularly looking for a girlfriend at the moment but if a girl won’t date me because of a reason like that, then good! I’d much prefer a girl who had some depth and substance to her. For example, a girl who looked for things such as integrity, understanding, loyalty and respect. But apparently a dude with a car is a lot more important for many women thesedays.

-BJH

Whether you admit it or not – I bet chances are that you have done some sort of dating or looking for someone of interest on the internet. It is much easier and less intimidating than meeting people in a bar, your friend’s wedding, at Starbucks or any other usual place.

But – I also bet you have some issues with online dating sites. I’d love to hear your thoughts and concerns. Are you willing to tell me your concerns about online dating?

One of my concerns is that sometimes you have no idea if the person you see on the page is the person you are really talking to. There are many people online who are looking for: love, a relationship, a hookup, casual sex, a friend or any number of other things. These are all the people I would like to hear from – tell me your concerns, thoughts and issues.

If you prefer to share your thoughts privately, you can contact me on Facebook or email 4mitzirae@gmail.com

Mitzi

I know many amazing single Asian men but they are all single and often ask me if I could hook them up with nice girls because they have trouble finding a girlfriend. The strange thing is almost all of them have a good job, good education, great personality but still cannot find a girl. So, here is my opinion, from a girl’s point of view.

Reason # 1: You are too lazy. Guys could be lazy, really. I have heard guys who have no problems getting digits from girls but never bother to call afterwards. Why? Because they are lazy and they don’t feel like calling. I mean seriously, how hard is it to pick up your cell phone, find the contact and dial? Guys need to treat courting with as much effort as applying for a job. Get the job application, apply and follow up. Simply getting the girl’s number and not bother to call is just not the way it works.

Reason #2:You act like a douchebag. You act like you like her but you don’t. You act like a hot shot but you are not. You pretend you don’t care about her but you actually do. You say you are not ready for a relationship but really what you mean is you want to sleep with more than 1 woman. Smart women would absolutely run away if they know you are such a jerk.

Reason #3: You act and or talk weird. This must be our upbringing. Asians are known for their conservativeness and reservation to express feelings. Hence, those scenes in Hollywood movies where fathers show their sons how to pick up girls rarely happen to us. To make matters worse, we spent on average more time studying and cramming and some of us become somewhat socially inept.I have a guy who went to Ivy league once asked me, “Are you on birth control pill?” as a pickup line. That is the opening line for disaster.  And another I Banker guy praised my black and white dress, “Your dress is so colorful!” Or, you tell the girl you just met you want to marry her within first three dates. Yah, that will totally ruin it.

I am sure there are other tons of other GOOD reasons why these Asian men remain single. Be it personality, upbringing, past experience or what not. I just wish all my good single male and female friends could find their ideal mate and could stop going to speed dating or use Match.com only to disappoint themselves with more mismatches.

Is there any group of creatures on this, or any other planet, more hard done by than the single, white, middle-aged male?

The poor guy was raised to believe he’s special and privileged and advantaged; that the world is his oyster; that not even the sky is his limit; that he could be and do anything! And what happened? Well, he got royally reamed,  didn’t he? Didn’t he? Just ask one, he’ll tell you. 

He’ll tell you that he is from the era when,  just as he was ready to take the world stage by storm all the rules changed.

Starting with Women: There he was, about to plunge headlong into the dizzying pleasure-orgy of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll when it all disappeared. Turns out sex and drugs could kill you and rock ‘n’ roll gave way to Billy Idol.  Make-love-not-war women snapped their bras back on and demanded a “commitment” before even giving him the time of day.

Less befuddled men got right on board with the new program and grabbed a wife, bought homes in the suburbs and began reproducing. The slower,  more befuddled men suddenly found themselves sliding haplessly, involuntarily and irrecoverabley  into middle-age —  alone.  And here they are. Now they look around and their “realistic” choices are limited to men or middle-aged women who, of course,  are not appealing because they don’t look 25.  Also, they’re too demanding. They expect men to be perfect and talk about “feelings”. They expect men to know (and DO!) stuff like cooking and laundry. And let’s not even get into how judgmental they are about you-know-what.  And,  middle-aged women all have kids — every last one of them. They can’t seem to help themselves. Who wants to be saddled looking after and paying for someone else’s kids, right?

Then there’s the workforce. Being a single, white middle-aged man wouldn’t be so bad if one had an exciting, dynamic career to absorb one’s attention,  like everyone else does. But no, here again our boy has been shafted. Some weisenheimer decided that white males had dominated the workforce long enough and came up with Employment Equity and Diversity – the bane of the white man’s existence. Now he can only get a job if there are no women, visible minorities, people with physical or mental disabilities or married/gay white guys applying. (No one knows exactly how or why married white guys got on this list, but every single, white guy knows they’re there). Never mind that the single white guy is 10 times smarter and more skilled than any of those people. He can’t get a decent job to save his life. So now he toils away at some meaningless, pointless, demoralizing job for less than half of what he, the single white, middle-aged male, is really worth. And he has to kowtow to a  boss who is either some know-nothing Employment Equity and Diversity person or some know-even-less married, white guy who was fast-tracked through the ranks.

And he has to pay taxes. Taxes irk the single, white middle-aged male to no end. Here is is working at some shitty job, making next to no money and to add insult to injury he has to fork over a big chunk of his pathetic salary to the government because he doesn’t get the tax breaks all those “breeders” get. And if that isn’t enough to make him eat his hunting rifle, then they use his taxes to pay for schools and daycares and social programs for poor people and for libraries and hospitals and other stuff he gets absolutely no benefit from. Yes, he, the single, white middle-aged male is single-handedly supporting every last tax-funded perk everyone else is getting and WTF is that all about?

And speaking of benefits. The single, white middle-aged man is the only human being on the face of the earth not entitled to any special benefits whatsoever. Breeders get parental leave from work and get paid for it (through programs paid for by his taxes!). They get to take “family-related” days when their snivelling brats get sick. People get married and there’s a big party and everyone gives them tons of gifts so they don’t even have to buy their own household goods. The single, white, middle-aged man, on the other hand, has to drag his sorry ass to Canadian Tire and buy his own toaster.

And, there are all sorts of support groups and special interest groups for women and for people of colour and for the differently-abled and for gays and lesbians – they even get parades and designated “awareness” days. There are books written for and about them. TV shows dedicated to them. Documentaries filmed about them. Funds are raised for them on international television by hoards of celebrities. They get grants and scholarships to go to school. Oprah cries for them. It’s all so unfair!!

And then they inflict their kids on him. As if his life wasn’t miserable enough he has to put up with the offspring of all these horrible people who’ve usurped his rightful place in the world. Wherever he goes people insist on exposing him to their children; and talking about their children; and showing him photos of their children. The single, white, middle-aged man is fairly certain that his own seed is going to die with him so he does not need to be reminded day in and day out that his gene pool is being drained, dismantled and filled with dirt as we speak.  But who would want kids anyway? They are so damned demanding and loud and full of mucous and exuberance and hope for the future. It’s extremely irritating.

He’s so misunderstood. And yet despite the entire universe conspiring against him, he forges on, trying his best to fit into this new confusing world of political correctness, vegetarians, environmentalists, fitness-freaks, twitterers, iPhone-toting, child-bearing, coupled-up, blissfully employed humans. He tries (he really does) to be sociable, presentable and not whine too much about his plight, but still he doesn’t get invited to parties. It’s too “awkward” to have a stray male hanging around stuffing canapes into his pockets for tomorrow’s lunch.  No one wants to hear his brilliant stories of using duct-tape to hem his pants or share his joy in finding a perfectly good spatula in the neighbour’s garbage.  Everyone gawps and gapes at everyone else’s photos of their children, but no one gives a second glance to the really nice snapshot of the vole in his basement.  Sure, they all admire the guy in the wheelchair competing in the paralympics, but no one admires the single, white middle-aged male for being able to cut his own hair or for the fact that he did the dishes twice last month. All of them! AND put them away. With no one telling him to! No. No one appreciates any of his deep, inner, stirling qualities at all. Life sucks.