We have been away from you a long time and it is mostly because some times life happens and it can be completely overwhelming, unrelenting and unapologetically demanding. You know the saying, “life is what happens when you’re planning.”

It is so easy to focus on making plans for your life that you don’t take advantage of your opportunities t0 truly live. I recently celebrated my 31 birthday. As a woman, I have wrestled with the whole aging thing. Most women seem to go into a panic when 30 approaches – mostly because the plans they have carefully laid out have not come to fruition. Some women are just at odds with the aging process. I believe I find myself somewhere in the middle.

I have always been an ambitious person. I wanted to be the first black woman Supreme Court Justice when I was in middle school. I’ve always wanted to be a national best selling author. Lately, my desire is to leave a legacy of improving the lives of girls and young women around the world. I told you I was ambitious!

The older I get the more I realize that my values have changed. I used to want the societal standard for success that included a fabulous husband, a prestigious position, the beautiful house for entertaining and the luxury vehicle. Now, I want people to know that my passion and heart is improving the lives of little girls and giving them an opportunity to let the world know they existed by helping them tell their stories. I want to see them educated and valued and given the ability to rise above poverty and abuse. My heart aches for them and I want the world to pay attention.

If you would have asked me at 21 where I saw myself in a decade, the answer would have been far from my current reality. I am not married to a fabulous man though it is my heart’s desire. I have a great job but I see work as a way to fund the things important to me as opposed to a ladder to climb. I am not a mother but I am a rockstar auntie! I drive the same car I had in college and tinkerbell and I still have great times together. When I replace her in a few months, it will be with a car that I pay cash for and not the fancier SUV that I initially wanted.

I have changed. Things in my life have changed. The plans I had for my life have changed. The more I make peace with that the more I realize what a truly amazing life I live. I don’t have all the things I saw myself with at 31 but I wake up everyday loving who God made me and the blessings I have in the people I surround myself with daily. I recognize that it’s far more important for people to talk about the difference I make than the clothes I wear or the car I drive or my address.

Those aren’t things you talk about when you’re in college working toward a degree. The goal of higher education is to create more minions for the rat race. I’m happy to say I’ve dropped out of that race and directed my life toward more important goals. I’m glad I realized that it’s okay for plans to change, because things change.

A search-and-rescue mission for single New Yorkers and their dogs

Secrets to Happiness: A Novel. By Sarah Dunn. Little, Brown, 277 pp., $23.99.

By Janice Harayda

Sarah Dunn is that rarity among comic novelists — a moralist in the best sense of the word. She doesn’t preach or lecture. But her heroines have a solid moral core left over from the strict Christian upbringing they have rejected. They struggle to do the right thing even as friends are cheating on their partners or trolling for casual sex on LukesPlace, a site similar to Craigslist in Secrets to Happiness. If Dunn’s heroines fall for faithless men, it isn’t because they are vapid or silly – it’s because they are confused. They don’t know how to reconcile their early lessons with those of the age of Sex and the City, when their peers deal with moral questions by handing them off to psychiatrists or blocking them out with drugs from a pharmacy in St. Kitts.

“It never ceased to amaze Holly, how therapists managed to spin things,” Dunn writes of her main character. After years in Manhattan, Holly suspected that psychotherapy aimed to make it possible for people “to do whatever they wanted to do, with whomever they wanted to do it, when and where and however they felt like it, while reaping no negative emotional consequences whatsoever.”

That passage alone might lift Secrets to Happiness above most novels about single New Yorkers, in which few plot devices are more clichéd than an emotionally gimpy heroine’s visit to a therapist whose banalities help her find love. But the book has much more going for it than that. This is a novel about the related questions: What is the cost of being emotionally abandoned? And when do you give up the fantasy that you can rescue a relationship?

Holly Frick thinks she still loves a husband who has left her when, in her mid-30s, she faces other swiftly arriving changes: She adopts a dog with brain cancer, becomes involved with a 22-year-old man, and learns that her married best friend is having an affair. She must also persuade her gay script-writing partner to do his share of the work for an afternoon TV show now that her masochistically titled novel, Hello, Mr. Heartache, is tanking at bookstores. Part of the suspense comes from whether Holly will stick with her canine and human companions or will abandon them as her husband has abandoned her.

Dunn doesn’t develop this plot quite as well as she did that of her first novel, The Big Love, which has no relation to the HBO series. Much of the charm of that book came from the quirky first-person narration of its heroine, a Philadelphia magazine writer. Dunn uses shifting third-person viewpoints in her new novel, and though she handles them well, the device leaves the book softer at its center. Holly is its emotional and moral anchor, and the omniscient narration dilutes her impact.

So the pleasure of reading Secrets to Happiness comes less from its plot than from Dunn’s sophisticated wit, social commentary, and sharp eye for how single people of both sexes rationalize their actions. The novel abounds with lines that are amusing or perceptive or both. One involves the its Craigslist-surrogate: “The thing Leonard liked about LukesPlace was that you didn’t have to be altogether on your game and yet you could still have sex with perfect strangers.” When a man asks Holly if she wrote “chick lit,” she responds, “I wrote the entire thing in lipstick, actually.” No one should confuse Secrets to Happiness with a book that might as well be sold at cosmetics counters.

Best line: “Betsy Silverstein was only half Jewish, but with Betsy, half was plenty.”

Worst line: “She pressed on like a trooper.” The word is “trouper.”

Recommended if … you’ve wonder, “Where are the novels about single women that aren’t mainly about shoes?” (though The Big Love offers a better introduction to Dunn’s work).

Published: March 2009

About the author: Dunn has written for Murphy Brown and other television shows. A post about The Big Love appeared on this site on Feb. 14, 2007.

You can also follow Jan Harayda (@janiceharayda) on Twitter www.twitter.com/janiceharayda.

© 2009 Janice Harayda. All rights reserved.

In the web site

http://www.copenhagenfertilitycenter.com/uk 

professor Svend Lindenberg, the founder of the Clinic answers questions about fertility, fertility treatments and related questions every day.

This clinic treats couple, single women and lesbian

Look here.

This interactive questions to the doctor has been functioning since 1996 in danish and is now offered to our internation patients in english

Our Chief Embryologist got this years award for best scientific presentation i Geneva

Copenhagen Fertility Center is one of the largest fertility Clinics in Scandinavia. It is situated in Copenhagen, Denmark.

The founder, Professor dr. med. Svend Lindenberg has been active in artificial reproductive technologies and treatment since 1980, and was one of the team members producing the first IVF baby in Denmark 1983.

The clinic offers the all forms of fertility treatments for both national patientens and international patients. It  is allowed in Denmark to treat couples as well as single women and lesbian with insemination and in vitro fertilisation up to women being 45 years of age.

Read more here

I want to feature some erotic reading material. This book is mainstream, but I think it will also appeal to a couple of distinct audiences. One – people who enjoy a healthy dose of sex in their books. Two – women in their 40s and 50s who understand the many layers in their lives, loves and relationships. Life gets complicated and all of our actions have many collateral implications. Author, Phyllis Schieber, is a master at combining all these things and I think you will enjoy this story. One of the characters is even an erotic author– I think you will enjoy the writing process through her eyes. This is my review and I’ll be sharing some excerpts  — I’ve requested them from Phyllis and will share them soon. By the way – don’t you LUV that cover?

Sinners Guide to Confession

Take three best friends, each woman has her own life and family. They share just about everything – but each friend has a secret that she won’t share with her friends or family. Will people think less of her if they know the secret she is hiding? How will her life change if she admits the truth? Will her life be better if she shares the secret? Admitting the truth gives friends and family the chance to help her with the secret – is that what she wants?

Barbara, Kaye and Ellen live in New York and they are each around 50 years old. Barbara recently lost her husband when he died unexpectedly. Thankfully, she has a lucrative career as a romance author and an even more lucrative secret. Her children are grown and on their own, but she is their mother and children have certain expectations about what their mother’s should do.

Kaye has a life with her husband and her children are adults, but her relationship with her husband has grown stale – is her future with him or another man? She meets a man who makes her feel sexy and desired, that makes her “stale” relationship with her husband even harder to tolerate. What will the future bring for Kaye and her family?

Ellen was forced, by her parents, to give up her daughter for adoption. This made her relationship even more strained with her parents and siblings. This forced adoption is even harder to handle as Ellen is married and she is unable to become pregnant. Will Ellen be able to meet her long lost daughter and if she does, can they forge a relationship?

Each of these women has a strong support system in place, but she needs to make the decision to trust these people with the secrets she is hiding. Their journey to self discovery takes you on an interesting, touching, emotion and at times a humorous trek through the pages of The Sinners’ Guide to Confession. Female relationship stories are not usually my favorite reads, but I thoroughly enjoyed this book and often found myself laughing at great one liners and other times reaching for tissues as I read this very well written book by Phyllis Schieber.

To find out more about Sinners Guide to Confession — http://www.amazon.com/Sinners-Guide-Confession-Phyllis-Schieber/dp/0425221539

(Appeared in the November issue 2009 Maxx-m published from Jakarta, Indonesia)

If I leave here tomorrow
would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
cause there’s too many places I’ve got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn’t be the same.
Cause I’m as free as a bird now,
And this bird you cannot change.
Lord knows, I can’t change.

Lynyrd Skynyrd – Free Bird (Allen Collins & Ronnie Vanzant)

Sometimes when ennui takes hold and it feels like solitary confinement at the work desk I dash off for a night out on the town or village, as the case may be. Just the other day when such a moment presented itself I retreated to the bustling Jalan Monkey Forest which is dotted with restaurants, warungs and bars of all hues and prices.

Here amidst the cacophony of car horns, thundering motorcycles and eager beaver tourists trudging the footpath carrying plastic bags loaded with goodies is one of my favourite watering holes imaginatively named Laughing Buddha Bar. This small cosy place has a range of reasonably priced dishes on the menu and the ubiquitous Bintang on tap. But this is not why I haunt this place on Mondays and Thursdays whenever I am on the road. It is for the live music and the company of free birds from across the world.

So now that you have got the gist of the tale let us move onto the happenings of the other night.

Monday it is – washed out by the incessant rain. Dampness hangs heavy in the air as I walk into the gaily lit warung to be greeted by Ketut, the agile young lady whose smile and service is second to none. A quickie drinky, a Ramayana cigar stuffed in my face and a steaming Chorizo sausage in chilli with freshly baked baguette before me and I am content…till the music begins…then the looming spectre of the loneliness of a writer confronts me. I hastily chow down and move to speak to the band members gearing up for the shindig.

The group is called Bali Blues Brothers aka Mushroom Brothers (for obvious reasons).

“Hi Bli what are you doing fiddling with your guitar?” I ask Agung (slide guitarist and leader of the band).

“Tuning bro…tuning…it is an ancient Chinese art form,” he replies with a smile.

The band is – Manto (lead guitar & vocals), Dedy (keyboard), Rinto (bass), Niko (drums) and Agung (band leader and slide guitar).

Soon Bali Blues Brothers launch into a warm up number. A couple sit down opposite me and introduce themselves.

“Hi am Peter and this is my girlfriend Heather we’re from New South Wales do you mind if we join you”, the man asks.

“No worries set your selves down my friends”.

The place begins filling up with couples and singles. The loud chatter mingles delightfully with the music, everything seems right.

Just then she walks up to my table and sits down next to me without a word. After ordering a drink she turns to me and asks, “What’s your name, I see you around a lot”.

“Mark Useless, that’s what the Balinese call me”.

“Seriously?”

“Yes. And what’s yours me lady”

“Yasmin. American but Lebanese born. Adopted.”

“And what are you doing all alone by the telephone”, I say pointing to the hand phone she carries in her hand, an appendage that has become a fashion accessory.

“Finding myself. Learning and yearning to be someone who can create something out of nothing…a meaningful life of sorts. I want to go back to Beirut to find my folks”, she replies distantly.

Suddenly the band belts out a James Brown number ‘Baby give it up or turn it a loose, Uh ha baby give it up or turn it a loose’. Everyone seems to be moving to the rhythm, cameras flash and my Oz friends are on the floor shaking spasmodically. Life suddenly becomes meaningful even for Yasmin. She smiles and we cheer with our drinks.

La Dolce Vita…Hidup Manis…what more can one say?

But the night is young and much is to follow.

In the interval when recorded music takes over and the couple from Oz are back at my table we talk.

“Is this your first time in Bali?” Yasmin asks the couple who appear to be in their mid-fifties.

“Nah we’ve been here before…but this is the first time we have been holidaying together after a gap of 32 years”.

“Could you repeat that please”, I ask.

“Actually Heather and I were in love 32 years ago. We drifted apart and then reconnected when I dropped by a garage sale and bumped into her. Love blossomed again and this time we are not going to lose each other,” he replies while holding his lover close to him.

Yasmin looks away as if to avoid the onset of tears. Heather puts her hand on Yasmin’s shoulder, two women connecting across cultures and time zones in Bali. The unsaid seems all pervasive. A momentary silence ensues which is quickly broken by yours truly who holds Yasmin’s hand and asks her, “So what do you do to pay the bills?”

“I teach small children because they seem so innocent and I can learn a lot from them. In fact I am here in Bali because one of my small students asked me where Bali is situated on the map. That is when I decided to take leave of absence from work and travel south of the equator to see for myself this island, to may be fill the emptiness that I feel – of not belonging. When my savings run out I will return not to Connecticut but Beirut to look for my real family”, she says pulling her hand away from mine and seeking solace in her mojito.

The place keeps filling up and customers are spilling onto the sidewalk.

I invite Agung to our table and introduce my new best friends to him.

Agung is bald and I suppose this is a plus point with the nubile nymphets that congregate at this dig. An unassuming chap he prefers to talk in Balinese with his friends, though ‘Inggris’ music is the way to go to make ends meet. He is married to Nina, an English lady and has a seven year old son, Narayan. He believes music is the only language that connects religions, peoples and cultures…the medium being the massage!

Everyone appears to be talking at the same time. Heather and Peter are lost in their wonderful world of love. Yasmin is animatedly conversing with all and sundry while Agung and I discuss the pros and cons of the traffic flow in Ubud. The picture is one of realism framed on a Monday night on Jalan Monkey Forest.

Agung returns to play with his mates. Live music fills the place once again and the crowd comes closer together…a bonhomie that reflects a truth…that people whoever they may be long for peace, love and happiness, of course spiced by good music. And where else can they find this but in Bali, Indonesia.

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti Om

Derwin kisses Drew Sidora

Every now and then you meet an intriguing individual, who you just may throw all your rules out the door for.

One of those rules should be an unspoken code for us women:  never date or even consider dating a man that has a girlfriend. And a man, who is married, is definitely off limits. Unfortunately we live in such an immoral society where everyone possesses an individualistic attitude of ‘I’m just trying to get mines.’ Whether you equate ‘getting yours’ by materialistic values, sex, companionship, a cuddle buddy or a man to wine and dine you;  if he has a girlfriend should you just say so what?

Recently I found myself in this situation unexpectedly.

Call it my selfishness as an only child, my sense of some sort of obligation to another sistah-even if I don’t know her, or my beliefs; but I’ve never been one to want or feel the need to share a man. Yes, I understand the horrid statistics that claims about 70% of black women have never been married in comparison to only 37% of white women.  But that has never resonated enough fear in me to settle for some other chic’s man.

This dude was different than the typical guys I am attracted to. Normally the guy that catches my eye is wearing some type of urban or polo shirt, nice jeans that are not sagging, but definitely not skinny jeans either, some fresh J’s or Nikes, with a clean cut fade. To be frank, I like the hood swagger. This dude was everything but that.

I first spotted him at a mutual friend’s house. First thought was, ‘who’s that, I ain’t ever seen him before.’ Second thought, ‘I’m get him,’ a phrase coined by my girl who would say this when she saw a brother that was looking pretty nice. And ironically, every time she said it, she pulled him.

Now I’ve never been the type to approach a dude, so even though I said, ‘I’m get him,’ if he had not approached me we would have never talked.

To make a long story short, he approached me later that night at a party, bought me and my girl a drink, we exchanged numbers and saw each other the next day.

Come to find out he was younger than me, very successful, educated, nice, ambitious, had a great upbringing and had a good head on his shoulders. Again, totally different than the type of men I was usually into. What he did not know was that my girl had already given me the rundown about him having a girlfriend, who she was, the state she lived in and how long they had been together-the whole nine yards. I was just waiting until this fool told me he had a girl.

I specifically asked him prior to him leaving town, whether or not he was in a relationship, his response was, “No.”After he returned home we continued texting all throughout the day and talking damn near every night. But I had already told myself I was going to play him to the left because of his situation.

Because I have a very hard time biting my tongue, after about five days I sent him a text saying I already knew he had a girlfriend, and was waiting on him to tell me.

He gave me this long story about their long distance situation, yada yada yah. So we came to the conclusion we could be cool, but that was all it could ever be. As weeks go on this man continued texting me all damn day and calling me at night. I even asked him, “When do you talk to your girl?”

What I didn’t expect to happen was to end up liking the guy. But sometimes it just goes down like that.

One night he tells me they broke up. Not for me thank God, because I didn’t like the dude that much for him to be making those kinds of decisions based on me. We arranged a weekend for him to visit; and even though they had broken up technically, I always looked at it as if they really weren’t broken up.

So I’m asking my homegirls, “Am I wrong for conversing with this man like this, what should I do?” The overwhelming response- his girlfriend was irrelevant; and some even said to get what I can get out of the situation. Really? For real?

At the end of the day I did like the dude; and clearly he liked me if he spent money on a plane ticket and got no “cookies,” out of the situation. But the fact of the matter that remained a concern to me was, he was still emotionally invested to this girl. Whether or not they had the title anymore, he was tied to her in some kind of way.

Although I often gripe about being a single woman, I am not so desperate to continue investing my time into a person that could not reciprocate an equal amount of time.  He thought because he was a quote, unquote “catch,” females come a dime a dozen for him. LOL. Well I’m just a struggling graduate student; and dudes come a dime a dozen to me too.

In my case the decision was obvious. But I have to ask the ladies and the guys, if he or she has a girlfriend do you really just say so what?

He has a girlfriend: so what. Should we care if he doesn’t care?

*Although I write this story in first person, don’t assume this pertains to my life. My writing may or may not reflect my own experiences.

I will admit this does not apply to all women, but it applies to many of the women I know and I want to share it with the many millions of women who do fit this description. A wonderful friend sent this to me and I wanted to share it with others. Feel free to send this link to any woman you know that will appreciate the thoughts

One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men…..

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in..

They stand up to injustice.

They don’t take “no” for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they

think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what

makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their

family and friends.

Women have vital things to say

and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Please pass this along to all your women friends and relatives to remind them just how amazing they are.

Tên truyện: If it’s love you want, why settle for just sex ?

Tác giả: Laurie Langford

>> on alibris.com

>> Customer Reviews on amazone.com

Xuất bản : 1996

Số trang: 271

Cỡ: 15*22 cm

Sách 2nd, còn rất mới

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You know how something or someone is hyped by the media or your peers, then once you experience whatever it is they were referring to you are disappointed. In your mind you’re thinking ‘that was so overrated.’ Well there are a few things that come to mind when thinking of this year’s overrated list. Hov’s comeback song D.O.A., overrated. Post graduate degree at one of the top five Journalism programs, definitely overrated. Blogs pertaining to the newest songs, videos, fashion and celebrity gossip-enough already would your sites just crash! Played out and OVERRATED.

But coming in at No.1 as the most overrated shit of 2009 is…drum roll please. DATING.

As a mid-twenties single woman I truly understand my aunt’s adage about finding a man in college. I can clearly envision her 5’10 frame sitting on her recliner in her Midwestern accent saying, “When you go to college make sure you come out with that M-R-S and that Bachelor’s.” Auntie, I now understand what you meant.

By no means am I saying by age 22 every woman is ready for the Tiffany’s diamond with the white picket fence, shiatsu dog, apron and faux modern day Will Smith. What I am saying though is that by looking at statistics and the numbers of single girl friends I have between the ages of 22-35, the numbers are astronomical. It seems that the more career driven & successful a woman becomes, the lesser the chance of her finding a compatible life partner. The pool of successful black men is significantly lower for reasons we all know (gay, incarcerated, uneducated, not financially stable, has kids or just pure lame).

Now on to the monotony of dating. The whole “get to know each other phase,” weeding through the bullshit versus the real, visualizing and creating a fly ass ensemble just to find him in a hoodie and jeans, all while standing by the car door clearing your throat, waiting for him to get his ass out to open your door; let’s just say it is a waste.

Dating has turned into a tirelessly, pointless game of cat chase the mouse. Quite frankly we’re patiently waiting while he chases every other “mouse” he thinks may be appetizing.

I’m definitely not Ms. Too Independent to admit there are benefits of dates such as free meals at some of your favorite restaurants. Even the companionship of a new male prospect is nice from time to time. But most of the times it seems that the intention of a man initially is all about getting the “cookies.” On the other hand we are analyzing and evaluating if he could be a potential boyfriend. These two ideas don’t actually correlate.

Pressing rewind, going back about 40 decades I imagine dating was the shit. I mean flowers just because, thoughtfully planned out dates, opening of car doors was instinct, intellectual conversations were the norm and were expected. Dating had a purpose with the intent to eventually choose one of your suitors and settle down.

In the generation of “Bust It Baby” and lyrics lauding “Big Pimpin,’” no wonder dating is in a state of despair. Somewhere along the way walks in the park were traded for making “Love In the Club.” It suddenly became whack to respect a woman. Holding women in high esteem became frowned upon because brothers adopted this new attitude that, “Hoes out here is scandalous.”

How did we go from Queens, princesses or even just being called WOMAN to bitches, hoes, jump-offs, sluts and gold diggers? When did we stop being worthy of the title wife or Mrs., but reduced to baby mama, wifey or the ‘main chic?’

I remain optimistic and hope one day brothers will have an epiphany and realize the woman’s worth.

But until a man stops thinking the movies is an ideal first date or until I stop hearing huffs and puffs because he has to open every door, or until he stops thinking because he paid for one meal he’s entitled to some ass; dating will continue to be the last thing on my mind to do.

I’ll miss the laughs, my inner child moments when we wrestle and rough house, the male companionship, the various outings. Even the cuddling will truly be missed. Conversations you can have with males, but not so much your homegirls. Yep, I’ll miss it all.

What I won’t miss is having to explain courtship exists and I didn’t just make it up. Won’t miss the non-spontaneity of a common place as the first date. And definitely won’t miss slapping his hand off my thigh as he tries to test how far he can go. Damn sure won’t miss the jokes about “You got the tab tonight?” Certainly won’t miss the whole bullshit of him just saying what he thinks you want to hear. Can’t say I’ll miss the ego of a man talking about himself the entire date. Most of all I won’t miss ending up liking him and realizing we should of never been dating.

After all is said and done, none of us females want to be single forever. But we also don’t want to date at the cost of wasting our time.

So my advice to all the ladies still in college is this. If and only if, both of you are ready and he truly is the one; I’m telling you like my auntie told me. Come out of school with that M-R-S. It only gets harder the higher you climb the career ladder. Anytime you feel like you’re suffering from claustrophobia in your relationship with that good dude that just gets on your nerves sometimes; remember the grass ain’t always greener on the other side.

You heard it first here. Dating is so overrated.

I spend a decent amount of time on social media sites – including Facebook and I know many other people do too. Now – I have a feeling many people who read this post will know there is a decent number of people on social sites who end up having cyber sex or phone sex with people they know on these sites.

Now – I’m not looking to start any problems for married couples and the vast majority of people I know who are having cyber sex and phone sex are single. Although I have spoken to a couple of married men who were interested in having phone sex – but more about that later.

An Official Description of Phone Sex – For Personal and Business Purposes

Phone sex is a type of virtual sex that refers to sexually explicit conversation between two or more persons via telephone, especially when at least one of the participants masturbates or engages in sexual fantasy. Phone sex conversation may take many forms, including (but not limited to): guided, sexual sounds, narrated, and enacted suggestions; sexual anecdotes and confessions; candid expression of sexual feelings or love; discussion of very personal and sensitive sexual topics; or just two people listening to each other masturbate.

Phone sex exists both in the context of intimate relationships (e.g., among distanced lovers), and as a commercial transaction between a paying customer and a paid professional. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phone_sex)

Phone sex does not involve physical contact between those participating in it. Couples may choose to engage in phone sex when the inconvenience of distance makes physical intimacy inopportune.  Even though the people involved in the call do not have physical contact with one another, they may:

• use webcams to watch each other
• one or each participant may masturbate during the call or chat
• one or each participant may talk with the other person about things they would like to do together
• one or each participant may share what they are doing to themselves while they are on the call or chat
• the conversation or chat can often lead to orgasm for one or both participants

These are some of the more common possibilities – what options would you add to the list?

Due to the potential for emotional intimacy between those who have engaged in phone sex, it is a matter of some debate whether phone sex is to be considered a form of infidelity when involving a person outside of a committed personal relationship. Nevertheless, phone sex should not be confused with prostitution wherein money is exchanged for real-life sexual services or physical interactions.

Limited Sex Life With Your Spouse

Earlier I mentioned some married men who wanted to have phone sex with someone and they said it was to compensate for a limited or non existent sex life with their wife. So, I suggested that they have phone sex with their wife. If both people could be opened minded – it could offer a chance to discuss what the other likes, or wants and needs from their sex life.

We all know people who feel they don’t get what they need from their significant other. I think most of us also know married individuals who have a very limited sex life. There are various reasons for this and I will keep my thoughts to myself about this situation. But, it does seem that couples who are in love with each other, but have no sex life or a very limited sex life – should be looking for ways to work their way back to each other — mentally, emotionally and physically.

Reasons for Phone Sex or Cyber Sex

Some reasons to engage in phone sex and/or cyber sex is because you are far away from your loved one. Sometimes this could be temporary – or it could be a long term situation. I will agree that it is NOT the same as touching the person and being with them in person. However, it is very possible to develop a great intimacy between two people with phone sex or cyber sex. This is especially true with people who are very open and who communicate well with one another.

Many people who spend time online – whether in chat rooms, on social networks, through webcam or any other way – will admit they have developed some incredible and long lasting relationships with people they met online. I have been very involved with online writing communities for about 8 years and I have many very good friends who I have gotten to know very well and who I can count on in difficult times – but I’ve never met them in person. It is amazing to find out how close you can become with people that you’ve never met — face to face. This is another example of that bond that we can develop with people online.

These are my thoughts on phone sex and cyber sex — I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Do you have phone sex or cyber sex? If so, why?

Have you developed close relationships with online friends?

Did I miss something else that should be mentioned? There is plenty of other possibilities — please post a comment and share your thoughts.

For people who haven’t heard about the content of Oprah’s show today — she is talking about why millions of women are using porn and erotica. Many of my Facebook friends know very well why women are using erotica and porn — but it is time for many more people to understand. Personally, I think it would do wonders for the happiness and relationships of many men and women if they discovered porn and erotica and felt it was all right to get in touch with their sexy, sensual side. Below are full details about Oprah’s show.

It’s a multibillion dollar industry. Lisa Ling reports on why millions of women are using porn and erotica. Plus, the most famous porn star in the world, Jenna Jameson. Warning: This content is intended for adult audiences only.

I want to be a man.  If only so I can feel good about myself when reading magazines.

I’m a smart, confident woman.  I subscribe to the Atlantic Monthly and Vanity Fair so I can stay abreast of liberal politics and sit in my “garden-level” apartment pretending to be an elitist, East Coast blueblood.  Lately though, I’ve been keeping up with women’s magazines for blog ideas.  And I gotta tell you, reading them makes you feel like dog doo.

First are all those supermodels and actresses with their awesomely toned bodies, shiny hair and perfect skin.  Their photos are surrounded by tips on how we can achieve the look as if none of us have jobs or families to attend to.  Did you know Jennifer Aniston had two rice cakes and a teaspoon of peanut butter for breakfast?  When she wants to splurge, she eats bread.  Wild woman.

Women have been kvetching about the impossible beauty standards set by ladies’ mags for ages.  But to me, the articles are the killers.  In the past month alone, I’ve found out my hair is unsexy (because it’s curly), stress may cause infertility and men’s midlife crises now start at thirty-five.  I read an advice column that screamed, “Help!  My Internet Boyfriend’s a Bisexual Cross Dresser” and another offering, “5 Signs You’re a Bad Co-Worker.”  And I thoroughly enjoyed reading the masterpiece, “Why I Stole My Best Friend’s Guy.”  As if skyrocketing unemployment and endless wars aren’t scary enough.  Now we have to fear our best gals mackin’ on our dudes.

‘Course, in these mags, men are a bunch of selfish, untrustworthy hound dogs who either game-play their way into women’s undies or must be manipulated into relationships.  “Make Him Stay” and “Why Men Cheat” are constant titles, while the slew of articles meant to guide women through human relationships could be summed up by the headline, “Ten Things Women Do to Screw Up Their Relationships (and, basically, their lives…idiots).”

The best article this week was a stunning piece of investigative journalism entitled, “Did You Know Your Vagina Can Fall Out of Your Body?”  Must be one of those secrets the medical industry keeps from us.  I can only imagine the conversations that’ll now take place across the nation: “You hear about Gwendolyn?  She was running to catch a bus and her vagina just popped right on out!”

Ladies, we’re doomed.  If you believe women’s magazines, we’re all a bunch of horribly unfit, unlikable, deathly ill losers who no one will ever love.  And we can’t trust anyone.  Not men, not our friends and certainly not ourselves.

Keeping oneself centered in the midst of life’s challenges is quite a feat, though usually I stay fairly balanced.  But now I find myself asking, “why don’t I look like an oiled-up Eva Mendes in my Calvin Klein skivvies?  Will the sunflower seeds I eat be linked to a healthier heart or leprosy?  And who really cares if stress causes sterility if your vagina’s gonna fall out anyway?”

Ah, but men’s magazines.  What beacons of hope!  What tidings they bring of reassurance and good cheer!

There’s Maxim, an orgiastic handbook of gadgets, cars, sports and half-naked starlets.  Maxim is like a guy’s frat brother urging him to have another beer (it won’t kill you), and offering tips on how to sneak out of the house or get his girl to shave everything “down there.”

Then there’s Esquire.  I enjoy this one because their well-written articles treat readers as if they might have brains.  Tailored suits, expensive watches, fancy cars, high-end scotch and disrobing A-list actresses – Esquire’s world of men rocks.  No matter how chubby, boring or unsuccessful a guy is, reading it will make him believe he’s awesome.  They present cover boys like Matt Damon and Bill Clinton as buddies, and offer comforting words for men’s failings.  Romantic ineptitude, professional failure, erectile dysfunction – no worries, Esquire’s got your back.

Reading the October issue, “The Feel Good Issue,” left me positively glowing.  Even before you open the darn thing, they’re already throwing roses at your feet.  The headlines on the cover offered readers, the “Sexiest Woman Alive,” “Encouraging Words from President Clinton” and finished off with a “You Look Great, By the Way.”  Sure beats Shape’s, “Scary Truth about Germs.”

Inside was a “Box of Permanent Joy,” which included ‘70s sitcoms and Mahler symphonies.  There was “A Guide to – and Celebration of – the Ablutions, Unguents, and Bathroom Rituals that Make Us Men.”  Wow, even their grooming practices are worth celebrating.

Really, I love being a woman.  Though I love peeking into the world of men, I prefer taking on life as a female.  I only wish my magazines liked me as much as I like myself.

I was planning to write an article about unigasms, bigasms and trigasms, but this article has all the details and Dr Ava did a wonderful job with her instructions, so I’ll share her information with you. You’re going to have a lot of fun if you try this — even if you don’t get it right the first time, you will have fun and you know what Dr Ava says — Practice, practice, practice….

I referred to these techniques in a toy review I posted yesterday — click here to learn more.

The Big “O” In Search of the Ultimate Orgasm by Dr Ava Cadell (Founder of Loveology University)

As humans we are always in search of the ultimate orgasm whether it’s with our soul mate, a one night stand, a bottle of booze, or mind altering drugs.  It is our second basic instinct after self-preservation.  So why are we seeking that euphoric, mind-blowing, earth shattering, energy melting orgasm? We seek to lose that part of ourselves which connects to the everyday and mundane, and for a brief moment of eternity reach out and feel the all-embracing Karma, the essence of the universe, making, for that one brief moment, our tiny insignificant essence part of a much greater supreme whole.  Perhaps therefore, the “ultimate orgasm” is our shorthand for losing the pain and hassle of being human, and seeking to transcend the fleshly prison for one brief instant in which we can float ethereally like gods.

Choose Your Orgasm

There are many different kinds of orgasm that you can experience from stimulation of different parts of your body.  Each one will create different kinds of feelings ranging from quick, short, localized, deep, concentrated, to full body orgasms.  This is your opportunity to experiment with as many different kinds of orgasm as you can.  Remember that orgasm is good for your health so it’s doctors’ orders!

A UniGasm

This is an orgasm where stimulation is directed to one primary erogenous zone such as the penis, prostate, testicles, clitoris, G-spot, anus, or nipples. Nipple stimulation for men and women can produce an orgasm, though it’s not as common as some of the other erogenous zones.  For women, having their breasts caressed and nipples sucked releases Oxytocin, the chemical that makes them feel like they are in love.  Masters and Johnson discovered that one percent of women were able to achieve orgasm from breast stimulation alone.  This is an area that many men enjoy stimulating during foreplay, but rarely think of as having orgasmic potential.  To give memorable oral sex on her breasts and nipples you need to understand that the size of her breasts have nothing to do with the sensitivity.  Ask her if she gets turned on by having her breasts played with.  If so, then follow these directions.   Begin by caressing and licking both of her breasts, not just her nipples.  Alternate each one as you use the flat of your tongue in lapping motions all around her breasts covering every centimeter.  Follow your tongue with light fingertip caresses, leaving her nipples until last.  When both breasts are suitably wet from your tongue, cup your hand over one breast at a time so that the tip of her nipple rests in between your thumb and your index finger. Squeeze the fingers together so that you raise her nipple slightly, and then begin licking it with the tip of your tongue in circular motions.  After about a dozen licks or so, pucker your lips around the nipple and suck gently but firmly; let your head bob up and down simultaneously.  To enhance oral nipple sensation, put an ice cube in your mouth while lavishing her orally.  Don’t forget to give equal attention to both breasts and nipples.  When she is climaxing do not stop or change what you are doing.  Let her push you away when she is ready.

For male nipple stimulation, the directions are pretty much the same, except men are more interested in having immediate nipple contact with deeper vacuum sucking motions from the woman- not so much teasing around the nipple area.  Some men enjoy having their nipples nibbled on.  So ladies, it’s up to you to find out how much pain or pleasure your man wants on his nipples.  Some men have one nipple that is more sensitive than the other.  While you suck on one, you can pinch the other one and then ask him which one feels most erotic.  You could be the first one to introduce him to a UniGasm through his nipples.  Now that’s what I call creating a lasting mammary, (I mean memory)!

A BiGasm

Many people are experienced with various forms of dual stimulation—a penis and a tongue, a vagina and a tongue a finger and a tongue, and various other combinations.  Here are some ideal ways to create two points of stimulation at the same time.

This will be more intense than a UniGasm so it’s worth exploring.  It can be licking his testicles while masturbating his penis, sucking on her clitoris while penetrating her anus with a finger (preferably covered with a finger cot), sucking his penis while massaging the testicles, licking her perineum while fingering her vagina, and lets not forget good old fashioned penetration too.  Have fun experimenting with different combinations on your lover’s body.  Ask for feedback so that you know which combinations are most exciting for you both.

The TriGasm for Her

So, here’s the revolution, the ultimate orgasm—TriGasm.  A female TriGasm is the result of arousing 3 points of pleasure, the clitoris, G-spot, and anus simultaneously.  Here are some tips for you and your partner as you go off on your TriGasm exploration.

The TriGasm for Him

The TriGasm for Men is also the result of stimulating 3 points of pleasure, the penis, the testicles and the anus simultaneously.

Blended Orgasm

A blended orgasm is much like the BiGasm with a little twist.  The intention for the blended orgasm is to make it last much longer by teasing your lover and stimulating one primary erogenous zone, then teasing another, then going back to the first and so on.  Start by choosing your favorite orgasm technique (such as oral stimulation on the clitoris for a woman and oral stimulation on the penis for a guy).  Get aroused to a level 6 on your pleasure scale, and then switch to another orgasm technique you enjoy (such as G-spot for a woman and prostate for a guy) and get aroused to a level 7 this time.  Switch back to the first technique, raise your arousal level to 8 and then back to the second technique at least three times before reaching a level 10 on your orgasm scale.

This orgasm technique is a wonderful way to monitor your pleasure scale and is most beneficial for men who suffer from premature ejaculation.  Whenever they feel like they are about to reach their orgasm, they move their attention to another erogenous zone to distract the point of no return action.

Mind over Body Orgasm

Since the brain is the most erotic organ in the body, it should be no surprise that you can think your way to orgasm.  Sexual thoughts can activate the brain just like sexual touching does.  If you’ve ever enjoyed looking at porn, you’ll know what I’m talking about.  Visuals of people having sex can automatically trigger your body into a state of arousal, making women wet and giving men erections.  If you continued to watch erotica without touching yourself, you could still experience a full-blown orgasm.  Even if you’re not into porn, you can achieve a mind over body orgasm by tapping into all of your five senses.  To begin, wet your genitals with your own saliva or some lubricant, and then using only your imagination, think about what your lover’s tongue would feel like between your legs; what he or she smells like when fully aroused; visualize what they look like naked; imagine touching, kissing, licking and tasting his or her body.  Hear them moaning with pleasure.  Become aware of your own feelings as you let your excitement build.  The trick here is not to touch yourself, but to let the ebb and flow of your orgasm take you on a mental journey to sexual ecstasy.  This can also be fun to do with a partner as a safe sex activity.

• Orgasm enables us to surrender complete control
• Orgasm is the best form of escape from reality
• Orgasm is the most natural high
• Orgasm is wired to our brain, not between our legs
• Orgasm gives us indisputable confidence
• Orgasm teaches us to accept who we are
• Orgasm satisfies us physically
• Orgasm satisfies us emotionally
• Orgasm can be a spiritual experience
• Orgasm is addictive
• Orgasm cannot be hurried or pushed by anyone
• Orgasm can unite two lovers into one

If you have never experienced an orgasm you may be suffering from gynecological, hormonal, or even neurological disorders, but more commonly you could have a psychological block such as:

• Traumatic past sexual experience
• Fear of losing control of yourself
• Resentment towards your partner
• Feeling guilty about sex
• Fear of pregnancy
• Fear of intimacy
• Fear of failure
• Fear of rejection
• Ignorance about your bodies responses
• Lack of stimulation
• Low self-esteem and self-worth
• Being too inhibited
• Poor communication
• Unrealistic expectations

This article is posted here – https://www.loveologyuniversity.com/LUPages/TheBigO.aspx?a_aid=litekepr

Learn More About Orgasms -

To learn much more about am online course from Dr Ava about all elements of Orgasm that is offered through Loveology University – visit this page – http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/ShortCourseDetails.aspx?CourseID=9. This is a course that you can take in your own home.

I want to be a man.  If only so I can feel good about myself when reading magazines.  

I’m a smart, confident woman.  I subscribe to the Atlantic Monthly and Vanity Fair so I can stay abreast of liberal politics and sit in my “garden-level” apartment pretending to be an elitist, East Coast blueblood.  Lately though, I’ve been keeping up with women’s magazines for blog ideas.  And I gotta tell you, reading them makes you feel like dog doo. 

First are all those supermodels and actresses with their awesomely toned bodies, shiny hair and perfect skin.  Their photos are surrounded by tips on how we can achieve the look as if none of us have jobs or families to attend to.  Did you know Jennifer Aniston had two rice cakes and a teaspoon of peanut butter for breakfast?  When she wants to splurge, she eats bread.  Wild woman.  

Women have been kvetching about the impossible beauty standards set by ladies’ mags for ages.  But to me, the articles are the killers.  In the past month alone, I’ve found out my hair is unsexy (because it’s curly), stress may cause infertility and men’s midlife crises now start at thirty-five.  I read an advice column that screamed, “Help!  My Internet Boyfriend’s a Bisexual Cross Dresser” and another offering, “5 Signs You’re a Bad Co-Worker.”  And I thoroughly enjoyed reading the masterpiece, “Why I Stole My Best Friend’s Guy.”  As if skyrocketing unemployment and endless wars aren’t scary enough.  Now we have to fear our best gals mackin’ on our dudes.   

‘Course, in these mags, men are a bunch of selfish, untrustworthy hound dogs who either game-play their way into women’s undies or must be manipulated into relationships.  “Make Him Stay” and “Why Men Cheat” are constant titles, while the slew of articles meant to guide women through human relationships could be summed up by the headline, “Ten Things Women Do to Screw Up Their Relationships (and, basically, their lives…idiots).”  

The best article this week was a stunning piece of investigative journalism entitled, “Did You Know Your Vagina Can Fall Out of Your Body?”  Must be one of those secrets the medical industry keeps from us.  I can only imagine the conversations that’ll now take place across the nation: “You hear about Gwendolyn?  She was running to catch a bus and her vagina just popped right on out!”  

Ladies, we’re doomed.  If you believe women’s magazines, we’re all a bunch of horribly unfit, unlikable, deathly ill losers who no one will ever love.  And we can’t trust anyone.  Not men, not our friends and certainly not ourselves.  

Keeping oneself centered in the midst of life’s challenges is quite a feat, though usually I stay fairly balanced.  But now I find myself asking, “why don’t I look like an oiled-up Eva Mendes in my Calvin Klein skivvies?  Will the sunflower seeds I eat be linked to a healthier heart or leprosy?  And who really cares if stress causes sterility if your vagina’s gonna fall out anyway?”  

Ah, but men’s magazines.  What beacons of hope!  What tidings they bring of reassurance and good cheer!   

There’s Maxim, an orgiastic handbook of gadgets, cars, sports and half-naked starlets.  Maxim is like a guy’s frat brother urging him to have another beer (it won’t kill you), and offering tips on how to sneak out of the house or get his girl to shave everything “down there.”  

Then there’s Esquire.  I enjoy this one because their well-written articles treat readers as if they might have brains.  Tailored suits, expensive watches, fancy cars, high-end scotch and disrobing A-list actresses – Esquire’s world of men rocks.  No matter how chubby, boring or unsuccessful a guy is, reading it will make him believe he’s awesome.  They present cover boys like Matt Damon and Bill Clinton as buddies, and offer comforting words for men’s failings.  Romantic ineptitude, professional failure, erectile dysfunction – no worries, Esquire’s got your back. 

Reading the October issue, “The Feel Good Issue,” left me positively glowing.  Even before you open the darn thing, they’re already throwing roses at your feet.  The headlines on the cover offered readers the “Sexiest Woman Alive,” “Encouraging Words from President Clinton” and finished off with a “You Look Great, By the Way.”  Sure beats Shape’s, “Scary Truth about Germs.” 

Inside was a “Box of Permanent Joy,” which included ‘70s sitcoms and Mahler symphonies.  There was “A Guide to – and Celebration of – the Ablutions, Unguents, and Bathroom Rituals that Make Us Men.”  Wow, even their grooming practices are worth celebrating. 

Really, I love being a woman.  Though I love peeking into the world of men, I prefer taking on life as a female.  I only wish my magazines liked me as much as I like myself.

This is my first review for CalExotics and I’m playing with possible formats to use. So, if you have suggestions, feel free to let me know.

The evening this toy was delivered was the first time I’d handled a “wand”. Keep in mind that I have limited exposure and experience with sex toys – so you will get a slightly different perspective from me — but I plan for each of us to have fun with these reviews. And, I hope that I can share some pros, cons, tips and maybe some offbeat suggestions that will help you find toys that would be the best for you.

So – a Crystal Chic Wand — initially, I didn’t have a lot of ideas for this toy, but that changed. I prefer to use my imagination and not to be swayed by other people, so I only read the cleaning instructions, which I’ll share soon.

What is your first impression of this toy? I’ll share the specifics from the CalExotics site:

Waterproof is good – makes it easier to clean and you never know when you might want to spice up a bath or shower. The finish is very smooth and soft – so it feels great on your skin. Let’s skip bendable for a minute, but trust me – we’ll cum back to it. 3 speeds is nice – you need multiple speeds because you never know what mood you may be in and I like to be able to change the speed or vibration depending on how aroused I am. 6 hours on high speed – nice battery life and if you alter speeds, you can get up to 12 hours of use – but batteries are cheap and it only needs 1 AA. The dimensions are unique – I’m used to toys with a wider diameter – but it sort of resembles a long finger. Hmm, more about that soon too – but I will tell you that got my mind working.

So – let’s break it down —

PROS -

Smooth, adjustable and bendable, multi speeds, attractive (black is one of my favorite colors), waterproof, only needs 1 battery (so economical). The tip is small, but not too small – more about that in the suggested options below. This toy is very easy to clean thoroughly – simply pull the top and twist to look into place, clean thoroughly, twist again and it closes.

CONS -

I don’t really like the on/off switch and have had some problems with it.

SUGGESTED OPTIONS -

Here are some suggested uses I can recommend. I am sure there are many other great uses and I invite you to share your ideas with my blog readers. What have you tried that you enjoyed?

• This is ideal for anal play – insert a little or the full length, depending on what feels good for you.

• I’ve talked to and been very happy to discover a good number of straight men who are interested in a little anal stimulation. They are fascinated to learn they have a G-Spot and to learn that it can easily be stimulated. (Just ask, I’d be happy to share info about this So, a little anal probe can be stimulating for women and men.

• The wand has a series of balls which all move independently with the vibration and this makes it ideal for stimulating many parts of your body, breasts, anus, clitoris, vagina, etc -

• If you want to stimulate other areas, I see no reason it couldn’t be used to tickle behind your lover’s ear, their knee, along the spine – you could use it anywhere you would use a finger or two…. You will notice I like to play

• This vibrator is small enough that you might want to use it with 1 or 2 others, depending on what you are in the mood for and for various stimulation.

• This is great for female G-Spot stimulation.

Okay – as promised, one of the very cool things about how this wand bends. I was hesitant to bend it very far at first, but found out how far it can be bent. You can bend it to shape something that resembles a horseshoe or your finger if its bent. Are you asking why that is useful? Because it can be shaped to hit your G-spot very easily. Cum on ladies – how many men can find their woman’s G-spot without a road map? There are some, and the ones I know are firmly embedded in my memory – but some guys and some women need help locating their G-Spot.  This wand can help. If you aren’t familiar with how to locate and/or how to stimulate the G-Spot — read this article. Have you ever wanted a very intense and often prolonged orgasm? You have to try this and the crystal chic wand is just the tool to help you find the spot and stimulate it – it will also make it much easier for your lover to find and stimulate your G-Spot.  I’ll plan to post an article about the G-Spot and some suggestions on my blog later this week for people who are interested. Along these same lines, if you have the Crystal Chic Wand – that can be one step toward having a bigasm or trigasm, on your own or with your partner. I’ll include those details in the article too

Finally – this may be off beat for some people, but people who spend any time having phone sex or cyber sex will appreciate this suggestion. Imagine your loved one is out of town on business or lives far away. You want to be intimate with them, but time and space make that impossible sometimes. So, you go into a private chat room, you send racy texts to each other or you get on the phone and fantasize with each other. Often, this includes mutual masturbation – that would mean, you are each masturbating where ever you are. So, not to be crude, but that can get messy if you need to type in a chat or on your phone if you are texting. Now – what if you had a vibrator that had a tip that felt very much like his finger or your finger or maybe his tongue on your body? Are you starting to get some ideas on how you can get some stimulation with the crystal chic wand while you’re on the phone or in the chatroom? I’m not saying this is for everyone, but I think some readers will find it useful.

I would love to hear your ideas and suggestions. How have you used the Crystal Chic Wand or a similar product? I had a good number of male friends send me suggestions – but I’d love to hear some more ideas.

To find out more about this product, visit the CalExotics website and this is the page for this product – http://www.calexotics.com/index.php?MODE=VIEW&TYPE=PRODUCT&PRODUCTID=3492

I’m thinking my review rating system will be silk robes – and I’ll tell you how silk robes will be shed for each product. For the Crystal Chic Wand – Let’s shed 4 1/2 Silk robes.

Mitzi

PS – Keep an eye out for a couple of follow up informational articles that I think you will like – about G-Spot Orgasms for women and men and also Unigasms, bigasms, and trigasms. By the way, I have a birthday gift box coming that includes several awesome vibrators – including the trigasm. So, I’ll be sharing more info soon.

For more information about orgasm, unigasm, bigasm and trigasms — http://shedyourinhibitions.com/2009/11/16/in-search-of-the-ultimate-orgasm-by-dr-ava-cadell/

I’m posting details about my latest sexpert course certification. Since I’m going to be reviewing toys for CalExotics, I thought it would be good to go ahead and complete the Loveology University course on sex toys. I figured it would give me interesting background and knowledge about the wide variety of sex toys that are on the market – and I was right.

I like the cover page for the course, it lists the types of sex toys the course covers, including: butt plugs, lotions and potions, vibrators, dolls, B & D and S & M toys, oral delights, rings and love kits. I will admit that a few months ago, I had very little knowledge about most of these things and certainly very little detail about how to use them. So, this course was a real eye opener and gave me all kinds of ideas.

The course gives detailed information about all these items, how they are made, how to care for them, how to use them, things you should not use or do, tips about usual and unique items – did you know there are vegan toys for an example? Me neither But the course starts with the history of sex toys. Did you know that goats eyelids were used as sex toys in 1100, that Ben Wa Balls were introduced in 500 AD, and clit stimulators in 1600? Just a few tidbits from the section about the history of sex toys

Do you think the only toys are vibrators, dildos and nipple toys? Boy are you missing all kinds of possibilities and fun.

This chart blew my mind the first time I saw it.

Sex toys are also for anyone, married, gay, lesbian, straight, single, men, women, couples, solo – and just about any combination you can think of. Some people are usually less shy or embarassed to purchase and use sex toys, but that doesn’t mean other people aren’t curious or interested.

In this course, you learn tips to incorporate toys into an existing relationship or maybe to add additional stimulation and satisfaction to masturbation – whether mutual or solo masturbation.

Whether a person is trying to decide what type of toys to use, learn how to use them, how to care for them or anything else, this is a great course and its definitely packed with details, visuals and more information than I think most people could ever use.

But, what about people in the sex toy party business? This is a fantastic tool for them to use – I can imagine the reaction of customers at a toy party as they see the many, many uses for various toys. This is a short video that shows a preview of what is included in this course AND information has been added to the course – http://www.youtube.com/loveologytv#p/c/F3E66B1458F71DC4/3/X1MG1m-hZYQ

I definitely recommend that you take a look at this course or any of the other courses offered at Loveology University. I’m having a great time working through the courses and learning so much…

To learn much more about this course – www.loveologyuniversity.com/ShortCourseDetails.aspx?CourseID=61. The full table of contents is at the bottom of this post – I think you will be amazed at all the topics and information here

This Course Is For You If:

• You want to Learn About All of the Varieties of Sex Toys for Men & Women
• You want to Introduce Sex Toys Into Your Relationship
• You want to Find the Best Sex Toy for You and/or Your Partner
• You want to Expand Your Sexual Horizon by Finding Out if You Need Any Sex Toys

Yesterday, in “Higher Ed Hotline” I bit off more than I could chew by taking on the vexed but always fascinating subject of free speech in the academy. One post on that topic is not enough, and I expected to return to it at some point. But I didn’t think it would be this soon, or so intimately connected to the raison d’etre of “Call Me Miss”; colleges and universities being what they are, though, for bloggers in search of something to write about, campuses are simply gifts that keep on giving.

You may have read here or here about the Columbia University professor, male, who punched a female Columbia staff member in the eye. Over drinks. In a bar. At the zenith of a lively discussion about race and “white privilege.” The professor is black and the staffer is white. But that’s about all that is black and white about this lopsided slug fest. Just for fun, let’s establish the hierarchy of victimhood. The professor gets plus points for being African American, for teaching urban planning and for having been an “activist” in his youth. He even gets points for his manhood, given the scarcity of black men in higher education in general. But he loses points for holding senior academic rank and a named professorship at an Ivy League institution, giving him significant power real and perceived over the likes of a mere staff member. The staff member (was she punch drunk? I don’t know.) of course loses points for the privileged color of her skin, but makes up the deficit by being female, single, and outranked by the professor. So here we must give the edge, victimhoodwise, to the woman.

Would the professor have used his fists to make his points if his interlocutor had been a man? Or a woman in the company of a spouse or partner? My guess is, no, he would not have. Is a right hook to the cornea what a woman can expect if she has the temerity to voice an opinion? I guess so.

This unfortunate incident is a cartoonish example of how difficult it is for single women to make their voices heard in our society. Although most of us are fortunate enough that the threat of physical violence does not keep our mouths shut, woe be it to one of us who ventures a strongly worded opinion on a subject deemed off limits for people of our persuasion, i.e., spinsters. Our views on children are treated with careless dismissiveness at best. Our narratives of solo travels met with indulgent half-smiles until the conversation can revert to where it belongs, little Susie’s soccer match or son Johnnie’s lacrosse game. And for goodness sake, if you are single, don’t you dare complain about the cost of living or the debilitating effects of property taxes. What can you possible know of economic hardship? You get to spend all your money on yourself!

Dimly lit, wood-paneled hotel bars are among my favorite places. I’ve never seen fisticuffs erupt in any of these watering holes, and I doubt I ever will. But just in case, along with my New Republic and Spectator, next time I visit the Oak Bar I’ll bring along my boxing gloves.

This was a group of women who help poor people and separated, single, widow women. They give employment to them. They visit the free medical camp and they prepared readymade food like bread, biscuits and others for the distribution to people who went there.  I wish that many of this kind of organization will visit our medical camp service every 2^nd and 4^th Sunday of the month.

I would love to be an adult sex toy tester. Not because I think it would be a fun cute sexy kind of part time job but because I would like to find toys that actually get me off… Single Gal Masturbation is a secret identity I’ve created because the real me is a bit (hugely) too shy to even admit I have a sex toy let alone actually use it and sex masturbation goddess forbid I actually complain (under my real name) about how I just can’t get off tonight.

Last time? NOT a problem… this time – Masturbated until I’m sore and nope I didn’t get off? What the fuck? Or better where the fuck! It’s frustrating. I don’t want to hook up with some guy no matter how cute or how horny I am – though I’m tempted. I don’t want to call the only guy friend I do know to trust to have sex with because the last time we tried he fingered me painfully – it hurt! He’s a great guy, looks awesome, very smooth and I thought for sure sex would be ex plosive…it was but not in an orgasmic non sexual BDSM YEA! Kind of way.

So here is my blog that I’ll only post once in a while when I’m sexually happy, horny, disappointed, frustrated and probably every other adjective known to women.

Maybe I’ll try again…

Maybe I’ll just go to sleep

Dave had only been in Bangkok a few days when he decided that he needed some action. He’d sworn to keep away from the nana plaza because all the Thai hookers there were basically getting too expensive, tourist class whores as he liked to call them.

However he decided to go for a drink and check out any new meat that might be working there. He sat down at his favorite bar and ordered a cold singha. He took a sip and then looked up at a girl who was eyeing him up. She looked familiar, OMFG it was Khorat Ooy. Khorat Ooy had been a nana girl and then I think she’d been kicked out of so many bars that she had to go freelancing. Here she was hanging around the open air bars in the nana.

Khorat Ooy was one of those girls that would do virtually anything if she knew you well enough and knew that you weren’t some two week mug tourist. Dave had had her before and she’d serviced him well and he wanted her again.

Dave went over and he talked with Khorat Ooy , Ooy was happy to see him. But Dave got right down to business, if he’d wanted to socialise He’d have talked to a tuk tuk driver! Dave said… YOU NOW MY HOTEL LONG TIME HOW MUCH! Ooy, sheepishly said 2,000 baht! Dave replied FUCK OFF WHAT YOU THING I’AM TWO WEEK FIRST TIME LOOKING TRUE LOVE TOURIST? 1000 BAHT AND THAT’S ALL YOU’RE GETTING!

Ooy came around to Dave’s way of thinking rather sharply. Dave had a great way with words especially when dealing with Thai bar girls, you see these Thai hookers can be really ruthless it’s a dog eat dog world here! They walked back to Dave’s hotel and Dave got out his new digital camera and proceeded to take some pics of Ooy sucking his cock and taking his member in her poop shoot. Dave then took some great shots of her holding her small brown tits whilst jetting his hot reward all over her little tities and smilling face.

Ooy went to shower and Dave had a look in her handbag. Low and behold what did he find in her address book. Entries with names like…. Jurgen, Mr Peter, Sven and more. What did that mean? Had his beloved been two timing him or three timing him or shagging the whole football team! Well that’s a lesson for all of us to learn. Thai hookers who say they love you might not be telling the truth

Then he came upon and entry that said Ooy******@hotmail.com. And what looked like a password! Voila! Dave thought, that dumb ass hooker had to write everything down because her brain is like swiss cheese from all the yaa baa she’s smokes! She can’t remember jack, so she’s had to write it down.

So armed with all the details Dave decides to do a little snooping. The next day he’s straight down the internet cafe and into her account. What does he discover? Ooy has a few guys on the go in Germany, England, Sweden and the USA. She’s had more pricks in her than a second hand dartboard!

A wry smile creeps accross the face of Dave, and a cunning idea springs to mind. Why not send all these guys some pics. Hell they might even appreciate them. Kinda kicks the I NO WORK BAR ANYMORE phrase into touch! Plus the pics all have dates on!

So Dave gets some of the best shots together and attaches them to an email, with a message. Hi darling look at meeeeee I just can’t get enough of BIG FARANG COCK! I LOVE YOU LONG TIME…… your tee rak Ooy.

Then with the click of a mouse the Email is sent to everyone in her account! Lol I believe that one of the recipients was her Thai husband or boyfriend and Mr Jurgen was even planning their wedding

Off Dave went on his merry way to plunder more hot Thai girls in the northeast with a grin on his face like a Cheshire cat!

Bangkokgirls says…

Dave’s got a great sense of humor though maybe Ooy and her lovers didn’t quite see the funny side of it

Those who are expecting an article giving advice on how to meet other single people will sadly be disappointed, this piece will offer no such advice. We need to stop thinking that the word ’single’ is something to be feared or avoided, indeed we need to stop thinking that ’single’ is a dirty word. It can be one of the most wonderful things in the world, but unfortunately lots of people still have a problem with it. Why? Let me explain…

Firstly we need to look at how society looks at single people and let’s start with films and fairytales – nearly every movie has a romantic storyline that goes a little something like this: boy meets girl – struggles to win girl over – eventually gets together with girl and boy and girl live happy ever after. Even if it’s not as obvious as that, more often than not there is an unrealistic undercurrent of sexual tension or romance. Fairytales tell us that beautiful girls meet charming princes and again live happily ever after and single women are often portrayed as unattractive witches or old ladies who live alone in tiny houses. What type of message does this send out to young girls or indeed grown women? It’s ludicrous. Times have moved on since a woman’s place was in the kitchen (thank god) so why do some people still look at single people, in particular single women, with pity?

Before moving on it’s important to note that this article isn’t an anti-relationship piece. Good, strong relationships are hard to find but when you do they can be wonderful, fulfilling and filled with love. However, many people are stuck in unhappy relationships for fear of being single – which is a shame as it really isn’t as frightening as they think. There are many things people can experience and enjoy whilst being single which they can’t when attached.

Being single is often a choice people make, it’s not because there’s something wrong with the individual or even because they can’t meet a partner, it’s because they choose to remain as they are, happy and free.

Tracy Lamar summed it up perfectly when she looked at the word ’single’ and really tried to understand the true meaning behind the definition, she reminded us that ”single simply means one” she then goes on to say that “one is considered a whole number. The number one does not need any other numbers to accompany it. It is complete and whole all by itself.” this is something we need to think about, because it is essentially true. When you’re single, you have more time to concentrate on yourself. This means that you can really get to know yourself inside out, you can listen to your heart and recognise what it wants. If you’re single then enjoy your freedom and time. You can afford time to learn what your expectations are and more importantly learn to feel totally comfortable and relaxed in your own skin. Many people in relationships take what they’re lacking from the other person – this can lead to resentment and an imbalance within the partnership.

It is possible to be happy as a single woman? Of course it is. When you’re single you don’t have to answer to anyone, you’re free to do what you want, when you want. You’re free to explore yourself and being independent and totally in charge of your life will only make you a stronger person.

Attitudes need to change towards single women. If you’re a single woman who casually dates then good on you, that’s your choice – men do this and get a pat on the back, why shouldn’t women? If you decide that you prefer being alone and enjoy your own company as well as the company of good friends then this is equally ok, again this is your choice. Remember, often the people who are in relationships giving you the pitying looks or trying to set you up with friends aren’t in happy relationships themselves. These people are scared of being alone and therefore falsely think that they sense your fear. They only need to take a few moments to realise that being single doesn’t mean ‘alone’ at all, it means that the world is your oyster and you’re free to do whatever you wish to do, whenever you wish to do it…

In the spirit of giving equal time, I will post the following question –

How Often Do Men Masturbate?

I have a good number of male friends and just about all are very open that they masturbate. Last week I posted an article that claims 92% of women masturbate — I think its great that 92% are willing to admit that they pleasure themselves. I would think that 100% of men would admit the same thing — but for kicks, I want to see what they will say.

I think its very healthy and that should masturbate – if they aren’t already getting enough sex to be satisfied. But, I’ve seen comments from people who claim they get enough sex with their partner – so they don’t need to masturbate.  What do you all think — even if you’re getting regular and frequent sex – does that mean you shouldn’t or won’t masturbate? Sure both have the potential to bring you to orgasm – but does it have to be one or the other?

If you have another thought – feel free to comment on it. I like to hear what people have to say.

One last question — do you have thoughts about mutual masturbation – that would be with a partner? Either in person or long distance. If you do – are you willing to share those thoughts?