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Making yourself happy comes in many different fashions. For some people, it is going out for dinner…with yourself. For others, it is spending buttloads of money on clothing that will make you look attractive. Maybe drinking fruity drinks makes you happy. But what is my one thing that always cheers me up? Talking to myself. Have you tried it? If you haven’t…don’t judge because it is pretty soothing. Talking your problems out with yourself is one way that I have found to be very effective when I get all upset and stuff. Another way is the fake boyfriend. 

Let me try and break it down for you. Say you are getting ready for bed, and you feel like you miss the way you and your old boyfriend used to get ready for bed together. Act it out. Just pretend that he is there with you. Do all the things that you would do…but do them with yourself. It is really not that bad. And what is the best part? You get to control everything your hypothetical boyfriend may do or say. You know how your ex used to get all sweaty in bed? Hypothetical boyfriend doesn’t do that…because he’s not real. You know how your ex used to say the most awful things that used to make you want to kill him? Nope, you won’t get any of that attitude in bed with hypothetical boyfriend. He doesn’t back talk. He doesn’t refuse anything you tell him to do. 

You are either thinking that I am crazy right now, or you are totally on side with what I am thinking. Your pick. See why this blog is anonymous? Well…semi-anonymous… because I don’t want all of my friends and family to know how insane I am…I save the insanity for you readers ;) Have fun with your hypothetical boyfriends…and girlfriends….tonight ;)

I was having one of those days when everything was going wrong and I just couldn’t see how I would ever get my head above water.

I was an emotional mess.

After an hour of talking, sobbing and laughing at the ridiculousness of life, I got off the phone, threw on some fresh clothes and my knee-high boots, redid the make-up and headed out to meet another friend for dinner.

As I sat down, Susie* commented on how great I looked. When I told her the real story she nodded knowingly and said, “Oh, you put on the mask. I do that too.”

I’d put on my mask of being a ‘together person’ before I’d left the house and clearly Susie had done this a few times herself.

I’ve become pretty good at it. I guess working in public relations for more than 10 years has made slipping on the mask a lot easier. When you’re trying to be all things to all people in your job sometimes you’ve just got to pull on the mask and get on with it.

Unfortunately, you can get a little too good at it. And sometimes you don’t let people see there is a mask at all – they just think that’s who you are.

When you’re dating someone, sooner or later you have to let your mask slip and let them see the swirling darkness and beautiful technicolour beneath. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll be brave enough to do that again when the time comes.

I know my mask hides a whole lot of really wonderful things. But it also hides a lot of dark and complex stuff too. And too many times the wrong man has taken one look and sprinted for the hills.

But I’ve decided next time that I’m going to take my mask off and let him see the real person underneath. The trick of course is to do that without fear of judgement. That is the real challenge.

But I’m willing to give it a go. I’m even going to be optimistic and believe maybe, he might even like the darkness and complexity underneath my mask.

After all, stranger things have happened and anything is possible…right?

Choose the right tools.

Are your tools:

• Outdated?
• Inappropriate for the task?
• Rusted?
• Broken?

Which tools are you using in your relationships? Are these tools cultivating (healing, expanding, growing) a love space or are they constricting it? Is your response appropriate for the current situation or is it applicable to an experience you had 5 years ago with someone else?

Unfortunately, many of us (including me) have or continue to use the wrong tools and as a result we sabotage our relationships. This is often a result of fear, the fear of being hurt, disappointed, taken advantage of, used, mistreated and abused in any form because unfortunately, we have experienced this somewhere in our lives. In attempts to protect ourselves we become rigid, because we erroneously believe this will allow us to control our environment and through control we are safe.  This approach is flawed because instead of being protective, we enter into a self-sabotage cycle:

1.  Fear being hurt
2. Consistently anticipating the pain
3. Keep him/her at a distance
4. Accuse person of X,Y,Z
5. Refuse to trust him/her even though their behavior indicates they are trustworthy
6. Person becomes tired of being blamed, accused, fighting, etc
7. Person leaves
8. Fear ‘falsely’ justified

1. Fear being hurt again

It is not until we recognize the role we play in all of our relationships will we begin to make the necessary (absolutely vital) changes needed to experience a different outcome. The only way to learn how to trust and love again is to TRUST AND LOVE AGAIN. Each relationship provides the opportunity to learn more about ourselves and the qualities and characteristics that expand and constrict our highest good. We cannot evolve into our highest selves if we are weighted by our past and/or fear. We must obtain new tools and practice, practice, practice love.

There is no way to learn how to love and trust other than loving and trusting. Of course this does not translate into being naïve or remaining in an unhealthy space or entering into a space that is obvious from the onset that it is not for your highest good. Instead, it means to over-ride your default ‘fear’ setting. It means getting out there and dating again and allowing someone to cultivate a space with you. It means to trust him/her unless they (not an ex-husband from 5 years ago, the ex-girlfriend who cheated on you) give you a reason not to trust. It means to allow yourself to love fully without fear.

What’s the worst that can happen if you love again? Sure, it is possible to experience some sort of heartache but it is also possible that this love is the very catalyst to liberate and propel you into your greatness. If there is heartache, at least you know it is not permanent; instead it is just another experience in your life journey; an opportunity to grow more and obtain new tools. My golf coach stated the following:

‘The great golfers are not great because of natural talent (although in some cases this adds to their greatness); they are exceptional because of the amount of time they practice and play golf. They play every day for hours at a time, perfecting their swing until they receive the desired results and they will continue to tweak it based on the course, weather, etc.”

This is also applicable to relationships and love:

“Practice love everyday for hours at a time, perfecting it until you receive the desired outcome and continue to tweak it based on the variables.”

Practicing Love,

-Misha

Hip Hop newcomers EYEGOTME are a welcomed edition to the music scene. Their feel good music has quickly placed them on the map. We first caught wind of them with their single “What’s Good” feat. Problem. Their lyrics and playfulness stood out in an industry that could use a little party music. We caught up with them to find out a little more about the group and why they can definitely say “I don’t know about you, but I know EYEGOTME” and listen to their single after the jump.

First of all thanks for taking a few minutes with us. Please introduce yourself to our readers.

M Dot:  I don’t know about you, but I know “EYEGOTME” #yahp!!!!! What’s good?!?! This is your boy M Dot from EYEGOTME Ent, Reppin’ 313 all day everyday!!!!!

Hollo: My name is Leon aka Hollo The God; I was raised in Jersey City, NJ on Bartholdi Ave.  Next to Curry Woods Projects.

Tell us about your musical beginnings.

M Dot: I was raised in the heart of Motown, where first you started off in the church and everyone around you was musically inclined. I always had a fascination with the art of storytelling through your music.

Hollo: Hanging out with my friends in the community, who where 5 pertcenter, Israelite, and Christians, our fun activity we had on the block was battling one another after school or even during church just to prove who was the better MC and have bragging rights.  Due to our different belief a lot of battles conceited of many religious punchline that upset one another, and our thing was who ever got upset first truly lost the battle.  Most of the time I would win and because of that many of my 5 pertcenter friend would call my flow “God body,” because my lyrics was so disrespectful everyone’s always chanted,” nigga that sum hollow shit.”

 Your first single has Problem on it. How did that collaboration come about?

M Dot: One day I was listening to Power 106 and I heard his hit  song “Like Waat” on the radio. i immediately went to Twitter  sought out his manager, we worked out some numbers and he blessed us with a hot verse

Where do you get your musical inspirations from?

M Dot: From my everyday experiences, and feelings. When it comes from within, it makes the song means a whole lot more.

Hollo: My love of music came from everyone in my life like my friends who challenge me with their crazy out of this world bars, and my mother who was a minister in the church also a choir member, and praise team singer for True Vine Church who inspired me to have that same type of reaction she received from the congregation when I perform.  Also my Mother best friend Anthony aka Apache, a famous rapper know for the single “Gangster Bitch,” to my father who had me pop locking in Victory Hall on Broadway in New York with his famous dance crew Rocksteady.

What is the name of your upcoming project and what can we expect to hear on it?

M Dot and Hollo: The title, Genesis 3:22 the name of our mixtape, came from the struggle we all face between good and evil.  It is the verse in the Bible that describes when man came to know what sin was, and when God himself granted freewill. On this mixtape you will hear our version good fun music and our determination to get it by any means regardless of the consequences, which is our everyday demons.   Our upcoming video for our single “What’s Good” feat. Problem shows our humor, our personalities and the good time we have with our friends. Stay Tuned.

Webbies I snapped. I snapped and I just asked him what the point of dating was.  I got everything I wanted off my chest. It was definitely out of left field for him and he genuinely was so confused. (Which shows how complacent and comfortable he is with the shit communication) He denied everything of course and said that I was exaggerating. (Sure jb. Don’t worry I’m just a crazy bitch) Anyway. I calmed down abit and agreed to see him the next day. He decided to stupidly tell me he would ‘think about it’ (the fucking cheek)

Webbies. Jb is a dumbass. I genuinely didn’t think he would be stupid enough to actually not come. But low and behold. Today is friday. And he told me he isn’t coming. So I told him to go date one of his exes because I’m no longer interested.  He preceded to tell me that I’m immature and if that’s what I want then fine.

I’m so over it webbies. I’m not even upset at this moment. Just angry. I do remind myself though. . What am I actually losing out on?? No phone calls during the week and seeing him every other week because he always cancels?!?! .. well fuck it. Fuck us. Fuck him.  I don’t give a fuck. I’ve deleted his number. And I’m going to live my life like I didn’t just waste 5 months of it.

He doesn’t care. If he really gave a shit he would want to reassure me and step up to the plate like a man. Hes such a little boy.  Can’t man up for anything or anyone. And it’s fine. Because he is no longer my problem. He may or may not try get in contact with me this week.. if he wants to reconcile or if he actually gives a shit then he will. If he doesn’t then… well I wouldn’t be surprised.  The level of respect he has for me is nil. So its 50/50. Simple fact. If he gives a shit he will contact me. If he doesn’t then he won’t

Over it

End

I love to sleep right next to mom. But since mom’s not around, I have to at least sleep alone. I hate it. I hate being left at a dark room. It’s just me. All me. I feel sooooooo small like I’m just a little plankton in the ocean. But lately, I’ve notice something about myself. After my friend’s party, when everybody’s too tired and drunk (well, not so drunk. We’re just plain tired.), in order to save some space, I have to sleep right next to my friend. I don’t know what happened but I stayed up all morning around four to five thirty in the morning (since we finished drinking around three thirty.). I watch my friend sleep right next to me. And I was like asking myself why I can’t sleep. Around seven in the morning, I fixed myself up because I need to go home as soon as possible, because I need to prepare something very important. Since all of my friends are still sleeping, I left text messages telling them that I need to go home soon and I’m sorry for not waking them up. As soon as I reached our house, took a bath then tried to get some rest for about ten minutes. Apparently, I woke up three o’ clock in the afternoon. My dad’s kinda like, “that’s what you get from going home drunk as f*ck! HAHAHA!” (Dad’s really not okay about me going home drunk. But he laughs hard when he sees my waking up with hangover. I just have the best dad! ) While eating my snacks, I realized that I can’t really sleep beside someone. I just to sleep alone in my bed with tons of pillows on it. I mean, I just can’t sleep with someone beside me. So I told my dad about this and he was like, “that’s going to be a big problem when you get married.” Oh please, I not marrying someone soon. I just can’t sleep at a single bed with someone. I don’t sleep with my dad or my sister or our domestic dog. I feel much safe and comfortable with my bed and pillows. Well, this is me. Ranting about my craziness about my sleeping disorders or whatever. I’ve been reading things on the internet that when you sleep with more pillows, it only shows that you’re depressed or lonely. Maybe I am lonely. I’m not depressed. I just like sleeping in my bed alone.

–xxCaty

Whether used for personal defense, hunting, collecting, competition or just a fun day at the range, gun culture is American culture. Just like the great people in this country, guns come in all shapes and sizes. Each has unique features and the ability to accomplish specific tasks—and they…
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G&A Man on the Street: What is the Single Biggest Reason You Became a Gun Owner?

Something Good Can Work

-by-

Two Door Cinema Club

Na época em que comecei a me importar um pouco mais com música, o R&B safadinho feminino com influências no hip hop estava em alta. Um dos clipes que mais me chamava atenção era Bossy, e desde lá tive uma atenção especial quanto ao nome Kelis. Fui conhecendo a clássica Milkshake, além de outras canções antigas, até aparecer Acapella, em 2009. A música abriria os trabalhos de FleshTone, prometido como o primeiro álbum mais puxado para o eletrônico de sua carreira, que contava com produções de David Guetta e will.i.am. Embora seja ótima, não me despertou o olhar que eu tinha para os sucessos mais urban da cantora, e nunca me interessei em baixar o álbum inteiro. Recentemente o fiz, após resgatar o ótimo single Brave, também do trabalho de 2010. E nada mais conveniente: esse ano está prometido seu retorno, e já dá para ter um gostinho do que está por vir. Aliás, a faixa Give it All, parceria inusitada entre Don Diablo, Kelis e Alex Clare apareceu esse ano como precedente do próximo álbum, e não só pode, como deve ser conferida nesse link.

E é por isso que o papo de hoje é sobre o britânico Dan Black, que resgatou a faixa Hearts, descartada pela própria Kelis, e chamou a cantora para participar do single. O clipe pode ser conferido no player abaixo, e embora conte com a técnica já batida de stop-motion, e com uma fotografia básica, consegue ser bem inovadora. Destaque para a arte, o roteiro e a própria ideia em si: fora as partes de Kelis, o clipe foi gravado ininterruptamente durante 24 horas, e é bem bacana acompanhar o resultado. Vou confessar que estou animado para o retorno da cantora, mas sinto saudades de suas raízes como em Milkshake e tenho o pressentimento de que esse estilo não será mais aproveitado em sua carreira.

<div style=”width: 420px; padding-bottom: 5px; text-align: center;”><a href=”http://pt.musicplayon.com/play?v=888307&#8243; target=”_blank”>Dan Black – Hearts (feat. Kelis) (2013)</a></div>

Earlier this week Belanger released a new track called Take Me Home that we just can’t get off repeat. We’ve had an eye on the New York-based producer for awhile now, having been impressed by his polished blend of styles, and this new single displays that in full. Take Me Home successfully combines house, nu-disco, and electro vibes making for something truly unique and prepped for summertime. We’re treated to a tantalizing build-up, brilliant Fleetwood Mac sample, tropical drums, and a thumping backbeat that ties it all together quite nicely. Start your Friday off right with this huge new track, and be sure to keep an eye out for more from Belanger in the future! Grab the free download via Dropify, here.

DOWNLOAD

Bonus! Pick up his amazing 90′s house inspired tune Down Like while you’re at it, sampling Madonna’s Rain.

DOWNLOAD

Anyway, I had a great time.  And there’s one last meet-up event on Saturday for the last day of Restaurant Week at yet another fantastic restaurant that I’ve always wanted to try.  As I’m single, it’s a Saturday night and I have no dating prospects in sight, guess who’s going?  And guess who’s going to go to the outdoor concert right after that with 60 additional people over and above the 10 I’m having dinner with?  And guess who will inevitably entertain the entire table at dinner with ridiculous stories and self deprecating humor?  And who will then proceed to stand off to the side while at the concert and not talk to anyone?  Yea, that would be me.