Our friends at Liquid Metal need your help picking the best album of 2009:

Best of 2009? What’s the best album of the year for YOU? We’re starting to put together the list of top albums and need your help. Leave your choices here and also call the BLOODLINE at 877-87-HEAVY to leave your top pick of the year. Best of 2009 week starts Mon., Dec. 28th! Thanks so much for all your support this ……year, it means the world to us! Hellyeah

Call them righ the fuck now and tell them that Crack the Skye is the best album of the year: 877-87-HEAVY

Or, you could give up on life, acknowledge you’re a loser for not understanding that Crack the Skye is the best album of the year, and go sodomize yourself with a fucking elephant horn until you die.

Really, this is a binary choice. Either you agree this is the best album of the year, or you sodomize yourself with an elephant horn up there beyond your wildest dreams.

Alternatively, I can send you a single bullet for free (plus shipping and handling).

8:05     Cannibal Corpse! Nice!!! Ok, now I’m off for real. See ya, suckers!

8:02     Thanks to Ian for going along with this, and keep up the good work!

8:01     Ok, time to sign off. I leave as Daath begins to play. It’s a nice band, but I don’t see what they bring to the table. They’re ok.

7:57     Can’t wait for Machine Head’s next album!

7:53     Machine Head covering Iron Maiden. It’s a very nice take on a classic song. Robb Flynn doesn’t have the voice of Bruce Dickinson, but that’s ok. He’s a great guitarist, and Bruce Dickinson is only second to Dio.

7:51     3 good songs in a row, we’re on a roll!!!

7:50     White Zombie… So many acid trips, so few songs…

7:50     Skeletonwitch’s riffing: incisive.

7:48     Skeletonwitch is awesome. Blabbermouth criticized the vocal, but I really like it.

7:47     Thanks for the plug Ian!

7:46     Sort of…

7:45     That song is from when Tom Araya could still sing.

7:44     It’s nice to have a deeper cut from Slayer. This is actually their best song from Diabolus in Musica. Someone at Liquid Metal knows their Slayer.

7:42     MOTHER FUCKING SLAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEER

7:40     Trap Them: don’t know these guys. Sounds harcore. Good filler, but I’m waiting for the next song. It’s just not metal enough for me, but if you’re into it, more power to you.

7:38     Please make it stop.

7:35     Metalcore is so passé. These guys should imitate the lemmings.

7:33     You can hear the talent, but there’s no hook for me. Just another band who clumsily integrates different influences. Jose, easy on the Ankla…

7:31     Ah, Ankla.

7:29     The new Fear Factory is just mehh. It’s 100% Fear Factory, minus the innovative factor they had when Demanufacture got big, way back in 1995. It may just be that specific song; I’ll definitely give the album a serious listen when it comes out in early 2010.

7:26     You did a great job, Ian. Thanks for dedicating this Bloody Roots to Dio!

7:24     I saw Lamb of God for the 3rd time a few weeks ago as part of the Metallica tour. They did a great show. I was never a big fan of Randy Blythe’s voice, but after I watched Killadelphia and Walk with Me in Hell, I got a much greater appreciation for the band, including Randy. I love the texture of the guitars, and the drumming is the definition of metal. 

7:21     Budweiser: the poor man’s best friend.

7:17     Ouch, Katatonia. Not my favorite band, but at least it’s not fucking IWABO or Horse the Band. At least Katatonia has something to bring to the table. Mood, melody. Actually I would not mind Liquid Metal having an hour of that stuff on a Sunday night.    

7:06     Heaven and Hell: excellent pick to conclude this special edition of Bloody Roots!

7:04     What, Ian has been touched internally by Dio?

7:02     Here we go folks, Bloody Roots is ending with a well deserved thanks to Dio for all he has done for the metal community.

Honestly, I have no idea if they’ll play “Kill With Power” by Manowar on Bloody Roots this week. What I do know however, is that this week is about Power Metal. Dragonforce, Lost Horizon, Saxon, Rhapsody of Fire, Sonata Acrica, Battlelore, Kamelot and, yes, MANOWAR!

Bloody Roots, the one history lesson you don’t want to miss, because it’s all about metal and Ian Christie is at the helm, is on SiriusXM Liquid Metal Channel 27/42):

Saturday, Dec 13 @ 12pm ET

Sunday, Dec 14 @ 2pm ET

Tuesday, Dec 16 @ 3pm ET

Thursday, Dec 18 @ 9pm ET

My favorite Manowar album is by far “Hail to England,” but I have to confess a weak spot for “Warriors of the World.”

That last album is very much Manowar in its pompous style, but the historical context is important to appreciate it. Written in reaction to 9/11, it is a very nationalistic album. Yes, nationalistic. Americans think they’re patriotic and the rest of the world is nationalistic. IT’S THE SAME FUCKING THING. Nationalism = patriotism.

However the flags on the album art do not make sense.

You have NATO flags, but also Brazil’s. So to me it suggests that while the inspiration is 9/11, this is about Manowar’s fans and their reaction to 9/11 rather than a literal “Call to Arms” to invade the Middle East. What do you guys think?

Side note: the first music file I ever bought was from Manowar’ website, directly and without intermediary. At that time, paying for mp3s–let alone subscribing to music services like Napster–seemed ridiculous. Still, I wanted to give them my money because I liked their stuff, and I especially appreciated their uncompromising attitude. Power to MANOWAR!

Tomorrow on Bloody Roots, the beyond excellent weekly heavy metal history lesson hosted by Ian Christie (author of the book Sound of the Beast) which airs on SiriusXM Liquid Metal, will celebrate 20 years of Dismember, the celebrated Swedish death metal band.  The show promises to be “hideous, frightful and repulsive to the senses”! At least, that’s what you would think if you were a British customs official, who banned Dismember’s first album “Like an Ever Flowing Stream” because of songs titles like “Skin Her Alive.”

Don’t miss it on Sirius 27, XM 42:

Saturdays 12 Noon ET
Sunday Metal Church 2 pm ET
Tuesday Lab Class 3 pm ET
Thursday Night School 9 pm ET

Once again, trend prevails over talent. “Don the Reader” got a record deal against all odds and common sense, and even gets airplay on Liquid Metal with their grotesque waste of satellite bandwidth, “Human Esque.” According to their Myspace profile, they are “everything that Los Angeles isn’t.” Sounds like L.A. is a good place to move to. (No, I am not going to stain your screen by linking to their Myspace profile. Google it at your own risk.)

They proudly display a Metalsucks “endorsment” on Myspace, which by the way was about only one song that the band distributed for free–and that post only got nine comments since August 25. They also refer to a review by Mouth of War, but neglect to mention that the reviewer says that “the cacophony ends up taking on a repetitive nature as you’re left unsure if you’ve already heard a series of riffs previously on the album.” How a repetitive cacophony could lead a reviewer to give that album a score as high as 3.5/5 is beyond me. Anyway, if Don the Reader can  only find a score of 70% to promote their album, I think it says a lot. It’s like bragging about a C- to convince your old man to give you 15$ as a reward. Ain’t gonna work.

I’m not even sure it’s metal. Degenerate NYHC, perhaps. Certainly in the same Insanity League as I Wrestled a Bear Once. (I guess I just coined a new category for my blog!) Is this just another piece of junk that the industry is pushing through our good friend José?

Anyway, if you like that band please leave a message telling me why you believe it’s good. I want to understand. I really do. ‘Cause right now, I just don’t get it.

Over at XMFan.com, a lot of people are very pissed off.

I understand their grievances, but Sirius Liquid Metal has to represent a large cross-section of tastes. People who think that Iron Maiden or Testament aren’t metal enough to get air time on Liquid Metal need to open up a little bit. Don’t get me wrong: I fully agree that they play way too much metalcore and other weak stuff.

Yet, metal is more than just death metal. It’s been around for almost 40 years, so there’s a lot of ground to cover. Many people still appreciate the old classics, either because they are new to them and discover how good they are, or because it makes them remember the good ol’ days.

Let’s be realistic. Several factors have led to the decision to have only one metal channel. Satellite radio doesn’t have an infinite bandwidth, so they are simply physically unable to add as many music channels as there are music genres. More important still, the satellite radio business is losing some serious money: $217 million in the latest quarter. They can’t afford to duplicate channels, and they need to please as many subscribers as possible to maximize revenue.

This may not be the best situation for XMLM fans–however the combined number of extreme metal fans at Sirius and XM should give these metalheads a greater voice in how they build the playlist. I don’t think that this is going to change the fact that they will keep on playing Top 40 artists; they cannot ignore bands like Slipknot. This may be unfortunate, but it’s a fact. There is nonetheless some hope that the greater total number of exteme metal fans will give us more weight. Just keep bitchin’ and they’ll hear you.

If you are new to Sirius Liquid Metal, you owe it to yourself to make a habit out of listening to Bloody Roots. With author of Sound of the Beast Ian Christie at the helm, Bloody Roots is your weekly metal history lesson–and this is one class you don’t want to miss! Here’s what’s scheduled for this week:

“Bloody Roots of Black Metal
Tomorrow 12:00 pm ET
Bloody Roots is your weekly one-hour crash course in heavy metal history, hosted by Sound of the Beast author Ian Christe. This week: Sordid and despicable, crawling from the trenches of metal’s darkest depths, black metal has been the ultimate blasphemous musical rebellion since Venom first unleashed its occult battle cry in 1982. Bloody Roots traces black metal’s long slither across the years, casting light on the scarred tracks of Bathory, Immortal, Enslaved, Mayhem, Deathspell Omega, and many more! Know your roots!

Rebroadcast: Sun., Nov. 16th @ 2 pm-3 pm ET; Tues., Nov. 18th @ 3 pm-4 pm ET; Thurs., Nov. 20th @ 9 pm-10 pm ET. “

Check out the Bloody Roots’ past playlists here, and visit Ian’s blog here.

Given the volume of clicks on my posts about Sirius Liquid Metal, aka Sirius Hard Attack, and the demise of XM Liquid Metal, I thought you guys might be interested in this petition: http://www.petitiononline.com/satmetal/

While I want less fucking metalcore junk (“Every Time I Die“ just played on Liquid Metal–why don’t that pathetic band just finish what they started, and die once and for all? And now it’s “Bullet for my Valentine“–practice what you preach: why not a bullet for the singer’s right temple? Won’t this nightmare ever end?), I understand that this is what sells right now. But why not dump all that crap to another channel, like Octane? (Ah, at last some real music: Gojira’s Toxic Garbage Island! Great stuff.)

At least, Octane are open about what they play: “…new and deeper songs from Slipknot, Avenged Sevenfold, Disturbed, Avenged Sevenfold and more.” Yep, twice Avenged Sevenfold. That’s a lot of vengeance on Octane. They are very open about what they’re up to: “What we play: Linkin Park, Chevelle, Shinedown, Sevendust, Mudvayne, Drowning Pool, Staind. P.O.D. and [they add threateningly] much much more…” Sounds like a good fit for all that metalcore crap.

Here’s an interesting paragraph from today’s Wikipedia entry on Liquid Metal (Sirius XM):

“On November 12, 2008, the XM lineup underwent a massive overhaul, and Liquid Metal was affected greatly. Ward Cleaver, Katie Brutal, and Cool Guy were replaced by DJs formerly of the Sirius “metal” channel Hard Attack. The Liquid Metal play list has also been watered down with more mainstream acts that were once heard on the former XM channel Squizz. Mercury has been replaced by Beyond the Pit, which airs in the middle of the night, instead of evening drive time, when people could actually listen to it.”

I don’t know what to make of this. I really liked Sirius Hard Attack, but I always thought that they were playing way too much weak stuff, like metalcore and christian metal. (Christian metal? Come on, that’s a fucking joke!) It’s also true that their death/black/grind show, Beyond the Pit, is way too late at night (midnight to 1am!). Now it sounds like the competition was way better, but they’re dead. Fuck.

Presumably as a consequence of the Sirius-XM merger, Hard Attack has adopted its XM counterpart’s name, and is now called Liquid Metal. No word yet on the reasons for the change, or what will happen to the DJs and programming of the two radio stations.

If you don’t have Sirius Hard Attack, you are missing on one of the best things out there about metal: Ian Christie’ heavy metal history lesson, Bloody Roots. Ian Christie is the author of Sound of the Beast, which is probably the best history of heavy metal, ever. Anyway, Christie is very knowledgeable about metal and he knows people.

For instance, today October 23 at 9pm ET, he will receive Venom to celebrate their landmark album, Welcome to Hell. This is a must-listen. Check out Christie’s blog while you’re at it.

Here’s the schedule of Bloody Roots:

Bloody Roots
Saturdays 12 Noon ET
Sunday Metal Church 2 pm ET
Tuesday Lab Class 3 pm ET
Thursday Night School 9 pm ET
Sound of the Beast author Ian Christe (ian@sirius-radio.com) preaches a lesson in heavy metal heritage, with inside stories and tons of rare music from all metal’s many subspecies. From Black Sabbath to black metal, take a crash course in headbanger history!

I really like Hard Attack. It’s not my #1 preset; it’s my only preset. Yet, I only enjoy about a tenth of what they play. Metal is so diverse, this is normal, you say. Can’t love everything.

Fuck that. I am open to a lot of stuff, from old Black Sabbath to ’70s Judas Priest, ’80s Trash, ’90s Death and Black, and now NWOAHM and even that French group, the soon-to-be global religion called Gojira.

However, any metalhead who thinks that music is just music denies the power of his own preferred art form. Art is a vehicle for ideas, music is art, and metal is music. Metal is a vehicle for ideas. Christians understand this very well. They seed the metal scene with their little bands, and they proselytise.

For them, it’st not “about the music.” It’s about your soul. And they want it. Ask any band who is openly Christian about this. They play music and like it, but if they can convert people with their lyrics and their interaction with fans and other bands, they won’t hesitate a single second.

Christian metal is a Trojan horse. It wants to domesticate metal, tame it and make it a tool for spreading Christianity. Christian metal musicians are heavily tattooed, but they promote the oldest institution in the Western World. They do their best to look like rebels, but they want nothing more than chat with their Minister every Sunday morning.

So, to go back to Sirius I guess they respond to what sells out there; but who the fuck is brain dead enough to buy crap like Underoath, As I Lay Dying, and Norma Jean?

If at least the music was good; but coincidentally these Christian bands have all decided to play that Metalcore crap. Is it because they are trying to hit on metal chicks?

The full album is now streaming on their myspace page. They had previously streamed only 10 songs for technical reasons.

Sirius Hard Attack has also begun playing Vacuity. If it doesn’t make it to the top of the Devil’s Dozen, I will shave my head.

I am not a big fan of the myspace music player. Myspace takes forever to load, and the sound quality is so-so. Can’t wait to see what Facebook will come up with.

Why is Sirius Hard Attack playing that crap a million times a day? Seriously people, there is nothing original to what I Wrestled a Bear Once (IWABO) does and I don’t understand why anyone would pay attention to them. In a review back at www.metal-archives.com, satanachrist666 nails it: “Unless you are a masochist, stay away from this release. The mental scars induced by this release may just make you never have the urge to listen to music again. If you dare listen to this then you will find something that is a very sick attempt at humor, and an even worse attempt at songwriting.”

I could not agree more. It’s another painful “experimental” band who thinks that they just have to deconstruct something and reconstruct it more or less randomly to look brainy, arty, and competent. It’s a gimmick that emphasizes style over substance. Sadly, it seems to work with some people, probably mostly with people who either suffer from multiple, severe personality disorders, and/or sniffed too much glue and/or PCP. Their “songs” got almost 1.5 millions hits on their myspace page (no I won’t link to it).

I really wish Sirius Hard Attack stopped molesting my ears and raping my brain by giving them airtime (and it is such a waste of air, time, bandwidth, electricity!). I know that Jose, who is responsible for programming Hard Attack, likes his Metalcore very much. But I think that with IWABO, Hard Attack is pushing it too far. As a matter of fact, Hard Attack is playing too much Metalcore plain and simple, but diversity is good so hey, some Metalcore once in a while is fine. Tolerance and respect have to stop at IWABO, however.

What say you?

No, of course not. Of all the oxymorons that I can think of, this is the best. Christian metal. I have nothing against my Christian friends. But heavy metal and Christianity are antinomies. Heavy metal stands for rebellion, whereas Christianity stands for obedience to a very old and very, very institutionalized institution. Heavy metal stands for everything that St-Augustine warned Christians about: instinct, passion, lust, power, aggressivity, insubmission.

Christians are everywhere these days. They were always there, of course; but now some are vocal about their beliefs and their desire to impose them upon the rest of us. They could at least leave heavy metal, the devil’s music, alone, but no. They have to come in and pollute the airwaves on Hard Attack. And why is it that they’re all playing that metalcore crap??? Why??? I’m going to tell you why. Because metalcore is about redemption. What do you think?

My dad doesn’t historically have the coolest taste in music, but a funny thing happened when he came to New York last year for a visit. I took him up to Sirius for a survey of the 36th floor view and more importantly a gorging on gear, glamor, and satellite tech photo ops. While we were talking to Jose Mangin, telegenic Hard Attack metal channel founder and prophet, a dapper clean-shaven Andrew WK walked in and started shaking hands. Before Mr. Hard Party Kit Kat could get a word in edgewise, though, an idea popped into my dad’s head and he sprung into a lecture to us young ‘uns about the Shadows and Hank Marvin, the original guitar hero. That’s Hank with the long face with 1960s instrumental outfit the Shadows up above.

I inherited a Shadows CD somewhere, but I really only knew them from interviewing Tony Iommi for Sirius. Turns out he’s an unsung hero of the Sabbath sound, I think his rapid-fire approach to the Strat is an overlooked indirect influence on metal guitar playing. Joe Satriani covered a Shadows song, so he knows. Tony Iommi knows. Look at the synchronized steps the Shadows use in the video — you can bet the Scorpions know. The suspenseful James Bond theme used from Moonraker through the N64 Goldeneye game is played by Hank Marvin, so 007 knows. Now you know, too. I’m impressed that the Shadows were a hit machine as an instrumental guitar group, that’s uncommon. I guess I like the gunslinger approach to the six-string, from Hank Marvin to Link Wray to Andy McCoy. Add your own distortion, and those triplets are Slayer.

Hip hop music cut its teeth on the drum break in “Apache.” So did Lemmy Kilmister, who began his life on stage doing Shadows covers. If you see him at the Rainbow Bar and Grill in Hollywood, and want to drag him away from the video poker, pull his ear about Hank Marvin.

The first free Ozzfest is today at White River Amphitheater in Seattle. Jose and Mario from Sirius Hard Attack are there handing out T-shirts and dodging water balloons. So is RockMyMonkey.com, who has already delivered this great gallery of Chthonic live shots.

Ah, energy drink sponsors paying for corpse-painted Taiwanese symphonic black metal bands to praise death and abuse a screeching erhu (see above) on a bright sunny summer afternoon. The system is working just fine today.

LINK

Photo by Mark Carras

This week’s episode of BLOODY ROOTS, my weekly heavy metal history show on Sirius Hard Attack, is based entirely on demos digitized for this blog. Here’s the playlist:

AT WAR – “Eat Lead” from EAT LEAD
DEFCON – “Descenders From Hell” from FIRST
FORCED ENTRY – “Thrash or Die!” from THRASHING HELPLESS DOWN
HOLY TERROR – “Distant Calling” from 1986
SACRILEGE BC – “Crucified” from PARTY OF GOD
DREAM DEATH – “Dream Death” from 1986 DEMO
INCINERATOR – “Mass Genocide” from LIVE INTO THE CREMATORIUM
PORN ORCHARD – “This Reflex” from HIT THE RIGHT PEOPLE HARD
INSECTICIDE – “Overpowerd” from 1987 DEMO
LEVIATHAN – “Leviathan” from LEGIONS OF THE UNDEAD
SAMHAIN (DK) – “The Courier” from THE COURIER
INCUBUS (FL) – “Engulfed in Unspeakable Horror” from 1987 DEMO
DEVASTATION (IL) – “Devastation” from A RE-RECREATION OF RIPPING DEATH

Airtimes are 9PM ET on Tuesday 6/5, 3PM ET on Friday 6/8, and Noon ET on Sunday 6/10.

The show is generally based on my book Sound of the Beast, and I can’t think of a better use for $500 million worth of satellites. Look over all the past playlists for 2007 here: LINK.

I’m putting together a Women in Metal episode of my Bloody Roots show for Sirius later this month, listening to lots of Gallhammer, Détente, Girlschool, and 13. So I guess I’m feeling extra-receptive to this fair green 1986-87 demo from all-woman Swedish quartet Ice Age.

With its stop-start songwriting and relentless melodicism the band’s second demo “General Alert” is like a very tame precursor to the hometown Goteborg sound. Though their feathered hair is piled high, and their pouty faces are slapped on the cover of this cassette case, don’t be distracted — Ice Age knows their metal theory. Despite carrying loads of of baggage from before the girls discovered Exodus, they patch together rollicking good upbeat metal.

The first three tracks come from 1987, and evidence more thrashisms like shoutalong backing vocals, E-string chunking, and song titles like “A Case of Cerebral Death.” Sounds like the title of a Swedish crime film, doesn’t it?

The final two tracks came from side II and were recorded in 1986, and are of a much more classic style. Competent Yngwie classicism and gutsy Doro wails dominate. Point these songs at your nearest Euro-metal purist and they’ll gush all over you. I can’t help but think that Ice Age was thrilled to discover thrash, though, so they could be part of sculpting something new instead of joining the tail end of the legions of the past.

ICE AGE * “General Alert” 5-song demo 1987 [32.5MB .rar]

The band’s founder/guitarist/vocalist Sabrina Kihlstrand has launched an Ice Age MySpace page, which features a technical Coroner-esque 1989 song called “Instant Justice” that is truly astonishing. Though Ice Age traded talent across the seas and eventually recruited past and future members of Rock Goddess and Sentinel Beast, there isn’t any vinyl available.

If you’re looking for photos of these heartthrobs picking their noses, check an old SLAYER mag from Norway. Ice Age melted the heart of editor Jon Metali0n, dominating coverage in early issues — thus possibly delaying the second wave of Norwegian black metal for a few years? (Ha!)

If I owned a deli or a pizzeria, I would frame this photo and hang it on the wall. And I’d be wearing an apron.

Hard Attack listener Sage wrote me to request Goatwhore, and passed along a Flickr link to her hell-possessed eyeball. She’s obviously infected with the Rage Virus, but some genetic mutation makes her a carrier instead of a full-fledged zombie, as she seems completely lucid.

Sage: “Disgusting, isn’t it? Well, yes, and it feels much like it looks — like being kicked in the face repeatedly by someone with a serious grudge.”

Link to Sage’s Flickr & full explanation of her traumatic iritis

Eurovision winners/future Ozzfest heatstroke victims Lordi signing Pedon Meteli — the Finnish version of Sound of the Beast — as a gift for translator Jone Nikula.

I had a chance to have Tony Iommi, grand wizard of the horned Gibson, sign my battered SG last year, but I passed. I didn’t want to blow a chance to uncover the secrets of the universe by turning into an autograph hound during an interview. But I kind of regretted it. So when I was told that Heaven & Hell, the Dio-era line-up of Black Sabbath, were coming to my Sirius show after their triumphant Radio City gig, I started hunting for a pen. Tony, Geezer, Dio, and Vinny Appice came up for a long talk session, and afterwards I plopped the SG on Uncle Tony’s lap. He gave it a good once-over, looked really serious when he asked, “What about this crack in the neck?” Ha! Iommi humor! Honestly, if there is a crack, it’s sealed with sweat and finger goo. I told him I hoped his signature would hold this banged-up thing with dented frets, rusting hardware, and countless divots together for a couple more years. “You ought to see mine!” he laughed. Now I’m in the market for a clear pick guard to protect and show off the blessing of the master of all metal riffs.

The interview turned out great, by the way. The meat of it will air starting Tuesday, April 10, at 9p Eastern on Hard Attack.